THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


IN  MEMORY  OF 
MRS.  VIRGINIA  B.  SPORER 


HARRY  LORREQUER. 


BY 


CHARLES    LEVER, 

AUTHOR  OF 

"CHARLES  O'MALLEY,"  "Ton  BUBKE  OF  'OURS,'"  ETC. 


'  We  talked  of  pipe-clay— regulation  caps- 
Long  twenty-fours—short  culverins  and  mortars- 
Condemned  the  '  Horse  Guards '  for  a  set  of  raps, 

And  cursed  our  fate  at  being  in  such  quarters. 
Some  smoked,  some  sighed,  and  some  were  heard  to  snore, 
Some  wished  themselves  five  fathoms  'neath  the  Solway; 
And  some  did  pray — who  never  prayed  before— 
That  they  might  get  the  '  route '  for  Cork  or  Galway." 


NEW  YORK: 

NEW  YORK  PUBLISHING  COMPANY, 

26  CITY  HALL  PLACE. 

1895. 


8IR  GEORGE  HAMILTON  SEYMOUR,  G.  C.  H.,  Ac.,  &c. 

MINISTER  PLENIPOTENTIARY,  AND  ENVOY  EXTRAORDINARY  AT  BRUXELLES. 

MY  DEAR  SIR  HAMILTON,— If  a  feather  will  show  how  the  wind  blows,  perhaps 
my  dedicating  to  you  even  as  light  matter  as  these  Confessions  may  in  some 
measure  prove  how  grateful  I  feel  for  the  many  kindnesses  I  have  received 
from  you  in  the  course  of  our  intimacy.  While  thus  acknowledging  a  debt,  I 
must  also  avow  that  another  motive  strongly  prompts  me  upon  this  occasion. 
I  am  not  aware  of  any  one,  to  whom,  with  such  propriety,  a  volume  of  anec- 
dote and  adventure  should  be  inscribed,  as  to  one,  himself  well  known  as  an 
inimitable  narrator.  Could  I  have  stolen  for  my  story  any  portion  of  the 
grace  and  humor  with  which  I  have  heard  you  adorn  many  of  your  own, 
while  I  should  deem  this  offering  more  worthy  of  your  acceptance,  I  should 
also  feel  more  confident  of  its  reception  by  the  public. 

With  every  sentiment  of  esteem  and  regard, 

Believe  me  very  faithfully  yours, 

THE  AUTHOB. 
BacxEiii.3,  December,  1889. 


PREFATORY  EPISTLE. 


DEAR  PUBLIC, — When  I  first  set  about  recording  the  scenes  which 
occupy  these  pages,  I  had  no  intention  of  continuing  them,  except 
in  such  stray  and  scattered  fragments  as  the  columns  of  a  Magazine* 
permit  of;  and  when,  at  length,  I  discovered  that  some  interest 
had  attached  not  onlv  to  the  adventures,  but  to  the  narrator,  I 
would  gladly  have  retired  with  my  "  little  laurels  "  from  a  stage, 
on  which,  having  only  engaged  to  appear  between  the  acts,  I  was  des- 
tined to  come  forward  as  a  principal  character. 

Among  the  "miseries  of  human  life/'  a  most  touching  one  is 
spoken  of — the  being  obliged  to  listen  to  the  repetition  of  a  badly 
sung  song,  because  some  well-wishing,  but  not  over-discreet  friend 
of  the  singer  has  called  loudly  for  an  encore. 

I  begin  very  much  to  fear  that  something  of  the  kind  has  taken 
place  here,  and  that  I  should  have  acted  a  wiser  part,  had  I  been 
contented  with  even  the  still  small  voice  of  a  few  partial  friends,  and 
retired  from  the  boards  in  the  pleasing  delusion  of  success;  but,  un- 
fortunately, the  same  easy  temperament  that  has  so  often  involved 
me  before,  has  been  faithful  to  me  here;  and  when  you  pretended  to 
be  pleased,  unluckily  I  believed  you. 

So  much  of  apology  for  the  matter — a  little  now  for  the  manner  of 
my  offending,  and  I  have  done.  I  wrote  as  I  felt — sometimes  in 
good  spirits,  sometimes  in  bad — always  carelessly — for,  God  help  me, 
I  can  do  no  better. 

When  the  celibacy  of  the  Fellows  of  Trinity  College,  Dublin,  be- 
came an  active  law  in  that  University,  the  Board  proceeded  to  en- 
force it,  by  summoning  to  their  presence  all  the  individuals  who,  it 
was  well  known,  had  transgressed  the  regulation,  and  among  them 
figured  Dr.  S.,  many  of  whose  sons  were  at  the  same  time  students 
in  the  college.  "  Are  you  married,  Dr.  S — r?"  said  the  bachelor  vice- 
provost,  in  all  the  dignity  and  pride  of  conscious  innocence. 
"  Married?"  said  the  father  of  ten  children,  with  a  start  of  involun- 
tary horror — "  married?"  "  Yes,  sir,  married."  "  Why,  sir,  I  am 
no  more  married  than  the  provost."  This  was  quite  enough — no 
further  questions  were  asked,  and  the  head  of  the  University  pre- 
ferred a  merciful  course  toward  the  offender,  to  repudiating  his  wife 
and  disowning  his  children.  Now  for  the  application.  Certain 
captious  and  incredulous  people  have  doubted  the  veracity  of  the 
adventures  I  have  recorded  in  these  pages;  I  do  not  think  it  necessary 

•  The  Dublin  University  Magazine, 


203*3886 


\V  PREFATORY    EPISTLE. 

te  appeal  to  the  concurrent  testimony  and  credible  witnesses  for  their 
proof;  but  I  pledge  myself  to  the  fact  that  every  tittle  I  have  related 
is  as  true  as  that  my  name  is  Lorrequer — need  I  say  more? 

Another  objection  has  been  made  to  my  narrative,  and  I  cannot 
pass  it  by  without  a  word  of  remark :  "  These  confessions  are  wanting 
in  scenes  of  touching  and  pathetic  interest."  True,  quite  true,  but  I 
console  myself  on  this  head,  for  I  remember  hearing  of  an  author 
whose  paraphrase  of  the  book  of  Job  was  refused  by  a  publisher,  if 
he  could  not  throw  a  little  more  humor  into  it;  and  if  I  have  not 
been  more  miserable  and  more  unhappy,  I  am  very  sorry  for  it  on 
your  account,  but  you  must  excuse  my  regretting  it  on  my  own. 
Another  story,  and  I  have  done.  The  Newgate  Calendar  makes 
mention  of  a  notorious  housebreaker,  who  closed  his  career  of  out- 
rage and  violence  by  the  murder  of  a  whole  family,  whose  house  he 
robbed ;  on  the  .scaffold  he  entreated  permission  to  speak  a  few  words 
to  the  crowd  beneath,  and  thus  addressed  them:  "  My  friends,  it  is 
quite  true  I  murdered  this  family;  in  cold  blood  I  did  it — one  by  one 
they  fell  beneath  my  hand,  while  I  rifled  their  coffers,  and  took  forth 
their  effects ;  but  one  thing  is  imputed  to  me,  which  I  cannot  die 
without  denying :  it  is  asserted  that  I  stole  an  extinguisher ;  the  con- 
temptible character  of  this  petty  theft  is  a  stain  upon  my  reputation 
that  I  cannot  suffer  to  disgrace  my  memory."  So  would  I  now  ad- 
dress you  for  all  the  graver  offenses  of  my  book.  I  stand  forth  guilty 
— miserably,  palpably  guilty — they  are  mine,  every  one  of  them,  and 
I  dare  not,  cannot  deny  them;  but  if  you  think  that  the  bhmders  in 
French  and  the  hash  of  spelling,  so  widely  spread  through  these 
pages,  are  attributable  to  me,  on  the  faith  of  a  gentleman  I  pledge 
myself  you  are  wrong,  and  that  I  had  nothing  to  do  with  them. 
If  my  thanks  for  the  kindness  and  indulgence  with  which  these  hastily 
written  and  rashly  conceived  sketches  have  been  received  by  the 
press  and  the  public,  are  of  any  avail,  let  me  add,  in  conclusion,  that 
a  more  grateful  author  does  not  exist  than 

HARRY  LORKEQTJKR. 


A  WORD  OF  INTRODUCTION. 


"  Story  I    God  bless  you  f   I  have  none  to  tell,  sir.** 

IT  is  now  many — do  .not  ask  me  to  say  how  many — years  since  I 
received  from  the  Horse  Guards  the  welcome  intelligence  that  I  was 
gazetted  to  an  ensigncy  in  his  Majesty's  — th  Foot,  and  that  my 
name,  which  had  figured  so  long  in  the  "  Duke's  "  list,  with  the 
words  "  a  very  hard  case  "  appended,  should  at  length  appear  in  the 
monthly  record  of  promotions  and  appointments. 

Since  then  my  life  has  been  passed  in  all  the  vicissitudes  'of  war 
and  peace.  The  camp  and  the  bivouac — the  reckless  gayety  of  the 
mess-table->-the  comfortless  solitude  of  a  French  prison — the  excit- 
ing turmoils  of  active  service — the  wearisome  monotony  of  garrison 
duty,  I  have  alike  partaken  of,  and  experienced.  A  career  of  this 
kind,  with  a  temperament  ever  ready  to  go  with  the  humor  of  those 
about  him,  will  always  be  sure  of  its  meed  of  adventure.  Such  has 
mine  been ;  and  with  no  greater  pretensions  than  to  chronicle  a  few 
of  the  scenes  in  which  I  have  borne  a  part,  and  revive  the  memory 
of  the  other  actors  in  them — some,  alas!  now  no  more — I  have  vent- 
ured upon  these  "  Confessions." 

If  I  have  not  here  selected  that  portion  of  my  life  which  most 
abounded  in  striking  events  and  incidents  most  worthy  of  recording, 
my  excuse  is  simply,  because,  being  my  first  appearance  upon  the 
boards,  I  preferred  accustoming  myself  to  the  look  of  the  house,  while 

Serforming  the  "  Cock,"  to  coming  before  the  audience  in  the  more 
ifficult  part  of  Hamlet. 

As  there  are  unhappily  impracticable  people  in  the  world,  who, 
as  Curran  expressed  it,  are  never  content  to  know  "  who  killed  the 
gauger,  if  you  can't  inform  them  who  wore  his  corduroys  " — to  all 
such  I  would,  in  deep  humility,  say,  that  with  my  "  Confessions  " 
they  have  nothing  to  do — I  have  neither  story  nor  moral — my  only 
pretension  to  the  one  is  the  detail  of  a  passion  which  marked  some 
years  of  my  life;  my  only  attempt  at  the  other,  the  effort  to  show  how 
prolific  in  hair-breadth  escapes  many  a  man's  career  becomes,  who, 
with  a  warm  imagination.and  easy  temper,  believes  too  much,  and 
rarely  can  feign  a  part  without  forgetting  that  he  is  acting.  Having 
said  thus  much,  I  must  once  more  bespeak  the  indulgence  never 
withheld  from  a  true  penitent,  and  at  once  begin  my  "  Confessions." 


HARRY  LORREQUER. 


CHAPTER  I. 

IT  was  on  a  splendid  morning  in  the  autumn  of  the  year  181- 
that  the  Howard  transport,  with  four  hundred  of  his  Majesty's  4r-th 
Regiment,  dropped  anchor  in  the  beautiful  harbor  of  Cove ;  the  sea 
shone  under  the  purple  light  of  the  rising  sun  with  a  rich  rosy  hue, 
beautifully  in  contrast  with  the  different  tints  of  the  foliage  of  the 
deep  woods  already  tinged  with  the  brown  of  autumn.  Spike  Island 
lay  "  sleeping  upon  its  broad  shadow,"  and  the  large  ensign  which 
crowns  the  battery  was  wrapped  around  the  flagstaff,  there  not  being 
even  air  enough  to  stir  it.  It  was  still  so  early,  that  but  few  persons 
were  abroad ;  and  as  we  leaned  over  the  bulwarks,  and  looked  now, 
for  the  first  time  for  eight  long  years,  upon  British  ground,  many  an 
eye  filled,  and  many  a  heaving  breast  told  how  full  of  recollections 
that  short  moment  was,  and  how  different  our  feelings  from  the  gay 
buoyancy  with  which  we  had  sailed  from  that  same  harbor  for  the 
Peninsula ;  many  of  our  best  and  bravest  had  we  left  behind  us,  and 
more  than  one  native  to  the  land  we  were  approaching  had  found 
his  last  rest  in  the  soil  of  the  stranger.  It  was,  then,  with  a  mingled 
sense  of  pain  and  pleasure  we  gazed  upon  that  peaceful  little  village, 
whose  white  cottages  lay  dotted  along  the  edge  of  the  harbor.  The 
moody  silence  our  thoughts  had  shed  over  us  was  soon  broken:  the 
preparations  for  disembarking  had  begun,  and  I  recollect  well  to  this 
hour  how,  shaking  off  the  load  that  oppressed  my  heart,  I  descended 
the  gangway,  humming  poor  "Wolfe's  well-known  song: 

"  Why,  soldiers,  why, 
Should  we  be  melancholy,  boys?" 

And  to  this  elasticity  of  spirits — whether  the  result  of  my  profession, 
or  the  gift  of  God — as  Dogberry  has  it — I  know  not — I  owe  the 
greater  portion  of  the  happiness  I  have  enjoyed  in  a  life  whose 
changes  and  vicissitudes  have  equaled  most  men's. 

Drawn  up  in  line  along  the  shore,  I  could  scarce  refrain  from  a 
smile  at  our  appearance.  Four  weeks  on  board  a  transport  will  cer- 
tainly not  contribute  much  to  the  personnel  of  any  unfortunate  there- 
in confined;  but  when,  in  addition  to  this,  you  take  into  account  that 
we  had  not  received  new  clothes  for  three  years — if  I  except  caps  for 
our  grenadiers,  originally  intended  for  a  Scotch  regiment,  but  found 
to  be  too  small  for  the  long-headed  generation.  Many  a  patch  of 
brown  and  gray  variegated  the  faded  scarlet  "  of  our  uniform,"  and 


8  HARRY    LORREQTTER. 

scarcely  a  pair  of  knees  in  the  entire  regiment  did  not  confess  their 
obligations  to  a  blanket.  But  with  all  this,  we  showed  a  stout, 
weather-beaten  front,  that,  disposed  as  the  passer-by  might  feel  to 
]augh  at  our  expense,  very  little  caution  would  teach  him  it  was  fully 
as  safe  to  indulge  it  in  his  sleeve. 

The  bells  from  every  steeple  and  tower  rung  gayly  out  a  peal  of 
welcome,  as  we  marched  into  "  that  beautiful  city  called  Cork,"  our 
band  playing  "  Garryowen  " — for  we  had  been  originally  raised  in 
Ireland,  and  still  among  our  officers  maintained  a  strong  majority 
from  that  land  of  punch,  priests,  and  potatoes— the  tattered  flag  of 
the  regiment  proudly  waving  over  our  heads,  and  not  a  man  amongst 
us  whose  warm  heart  did  not  bound  behind  a  Waterloo  medal.  Well 
— well!  I  am  now — alas!  that  I  should  say  it — somewhat  in  the 
"sear  and  yellow;"  and  I  confess,  after  the  experience  of  some 
moments  of  high,  triumphant  feeling,  that  I  never  before  felt  within 
me  the  same  animating,  spirit- filling  glow  of  delight  as  rose  with- 
in my  heart  that  day,  as  I  marched  at  the  head  of  my  company  down 
George's  street. 

We  were  soon  settled  in  barracks;  and  then  began  a  series  of  en- 
tertainments on  the  side  of,  the  civic  dignitaries  of  Cork,  which  soon 
led  most  of  us  to  believe  that  we  had  only  escaped  shot  and  shell  to 
fall  less  gloriously  beneath  champagne  and  claret.  I  do  not  believe 
there  is  a  coroner  in  the  island  who  would  have  pronounced  but  the 
one  verdict  over  the  regiment — "  Killed  by  the  mayor  and  corpora- 
tion," had  we  so  fallen. 

First  of  all,  we  were  dined  by  the  citizens  of  Cork — and,  to  do 
them  justice,  a  harder  drinking  set  of  gentlemen  no  city  need  boast; 
then  we  were  feasted  by  the  corporation ;  then  by  the  sheriffs ;  then 
came  the  mayor,  solus;  then  an  address,  with  a  cold  collation,  that 
left  eight  of  us  on  the  sick-list  for  a  fortnight;  but  the  climax  of  all 
was  a  grand  entertainment  given  in  the  mansion  house,  and  to  which 
upward  of  two  thousand  were  invited.  It  was  a  species  of  fancy  ball, 
beginning  by  a  dejeunfi  at  three  o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  and  ending 
—I  never  yet  met  the  man  who  could  tell  when  it  ended;  as  for  my- 
self, my  -finale  partook  a  little  of  the  adventurous,  and  I  may  as  well 
relate  it. 

After  waltzing  for  about  an  hour  with  one  of  the  prettiest  girls  I 
ever  set  eyes  upon,  and  getting  a  tender  squeeze  of  the  hand,  as  I 
restored  her  to  a  most  affable-looking  old  lady  in  a  blue  turban  and 
a  red  velvet  gown  who  smiled  most  benignly  on  me,  and  called  me 
"  Mieejor,"  I  retired  to  recruit  for  a  new  attack,  to  a  small  table, 
where  three  of  ours  were  quaffing  "  ponche  a.  la  Eomaine,"  with  a 
crowd  of  Corkagians  about  them,  eagerly  inquiring  after  some  heroes 
of  their  own  city,  whose  deeds  of  arms  they  were  siirprised  did  not 
obtain  special  mention  from  "the  Duke."  I  soon  ingratiated  my- 
self into  this  well-occupied  clique  and  dosed  them  with  glory  to  their 
hearts'  content.  I  resolved  at  once  to  enter  into  their  humor;  and 
as  the  "  ponche  "  mounted  up  to  my  brain,  I  gradually  found  my 
acquaintanceship  extended  to  every  family  ana  connection  in  the 
country. 

"  IHd  ye  know  Phil  Beamish  of  the  8-th,  sir?"  said  a  tall  red- 
faced,  red- whiskered,  well-looking  gentleman,  who  bore  no  slight 
•resemblance  to  Feargus  O'Connor, 


HARRY    LORREQTJEB.  9 

"Phil  Beamish!"  said  I.  "Indeed  I  did,  sir,  and  do  still;  and 
there  is  not  a  man  in  the  British  army  I  am  prouder  of  knowing." 
Here,  by  the  way,  I  may  mention  that  I  never  heard  the  name  till 
that  moment. 

"  You  don't  say  so,  sir,"  said  Feargus — for  so  I  must  call  him, 
for  shortness  sake.  "  Has  he  any  chance  of  the  company  yet,  sir?" 

"  Company!"  said  I,  in  astonishment.  "  He  obtained  his  majority 
three  months  since.  You  cannot  possibly  have  heard  from  him 
lately,  or  you  would  have  known  that?" 

"  That's  true,  sir.  I  never  heard  since  he  quitted  the  3-th  to  go 
to  Versailles,  I  think  they  call  it,  for  his  healih.  But  how  did  he 
get  the  step,  sir?" 

"  Why,  as  to  the  company,  that  was  remarkable  enough!"  said  I 
quaffing  oft'  a  tumbler  of  champagne,  to  assist  my  invention.  "  You 
know  it  was  about  four  o'clock  in  the  afternoon  of  the  18th  that 
Napoleon  ordered  Grouchy  to  advance  wLh  the  first  and  second 
brigade  of  the  Old  Guard  and  two  regiments  of  chasseurs,  and 
attack  the  position  occupied  by  Picton  and  the  regiments  under  his 
command.  Well,  sir,  on  they  came,  masked  by  the  smoke  of  a  ter- 
rific discharge  of  artillery,  stationed  on  a  small  eminence  to  our  left, 
and  which  did  tremendous  execution  among  our  poor  fellows — on 
they  came,  sir;  and  as  the  smoke  cleared  partially  away  we  got  a 
glimpse  of  them,  and  a  more  dangerous  looking  set  I  should  not 
desire  to  see:  grizzle-bearded,  hard-featured,  bronzed  fellows,  about 
five-and-thirty  or  forty  years  of  age;  their  beauty  not  a  whit  im- 
proved by  the  red  glare  thrown  upon  their  faces  and  along  (he  whole 
line  by  each  flash  of  the  long  twenty-fours  that  were  playing  away 
to  the  right.  Just  at  this  moment  Picton  rode  down  the  line  with  his 
staff,  and  stopping  within  a  few  paces  of  me,  said:  '  They're  coming 
up;  steady,  boys;  steady  now;  we  shall  luive  something  to  do  soon. 
And  then,  turning  round,  he  looked  in  the  direction  of  the  French 
battery,  that  was  thundering  away  again  in  full  force.  '  Ah,  that 
must  be  silenced,'  said  he.  '  Where's  Beamish?'  " — "  Says  Picton!" 
interrupted  Feargus,  his  eyes  starting  from  their  sockets,  and  his 
mouth  growing  wider  every  moment,  as  he  listened  with  the  most 
intense  interest.  "  Yes,"  said  I,  slowty;  and  then,  with  all  the  pro- 
voking nonchalance  of  an  Italian  improvisatore,  who  always  halts  at 
the  most  exciting  point  of  his  narrative,  I  begged  a  listener  near  me 
to  fill  my  glass  from  the  iced  punch  beside  him.  Not  a  sound  was 
heard  as  I  lifted  the  bumper  to  my  lips;  all  were  breathless  in  their 
wound-up  anxiety  to  hear  of  their  countryman  who  had  been  selected 
by  Picton — for  what,  too,  they  knew  not  yet,  and,  indeed,  at  this 
instant  I  did  not  know  myself,  and  nearly  laughed  outright,  lor  the 
two  of  ours  who  had  remained  at  the  table  had  so  well  employed 
\heii  interval  of  ease  as  to  become  veiy  pleasantly  drunk,  and  were 
iistening  to  my  confounded  story  with  all  the  gravity  and  seriousness 
in  the  world. 

"'Where's  Beamish?'  said  Picton.  'Here,  sir,' said  Phil  step- 
ping out  from  the  line,  and  touching  his  cap  to  the  general,  who, 
taking  him  apart  for  a  few  minutes,  spoke  to  him  with  great  anima- 
tion. We  did  not  know  what  he  said ;  but  before  five  minutes  were 
over,  there  was  Phil  with  three  companies  of  light-bobs  drawn  up  at 
our  left!  their  muskets  at  the  charge,  they  set  off  at  a  round  trot 


10  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

down  the  little  steep  which  closed  our  flank.  We  had  not  much 
time  to  follow  their  movements,  for  our  own  amusement  began  soon; 
but  I  well  remember,  after  repelling  the  French  attack,  and  standing 
in  square  against  two  heavy  charge's  of  cuirassiers,  the  first  thing  I 
saw  where  the  French  battery  had  stood,  was  Phil  Beamish  and 
about  a  handful  of  brave  fellows,  all  that  remained  from  the  skir- 
mish. He  captured  two  of  the  enemy's  field-pieces,  and  was  '  Captain 
Beamish  '  on  the  day  after. " 

"  Long  life  to  him,"  said  at  least  a  dozen  voices  behind  and  about 
me,  while  a  general  clanking  of  decanters  and  smacking  of  lips  be- 
tokened that  Phil's  health  with  all  the  honors  was  being  celebrated. 
For  myself,  I  was  really  so  engrossed  by  my  narrative,  and  so  ex- 
cited by  the  "  ponche,"  that  I  saw  or  heard  very  little  of  <vnat  was 
passing  around,  and  have  only  a  kind  of  dim  recollection  of  being 
seized  by  the  hand  by  "  Feargus,"  who  was  Beamish's  brother,  and 
who,  in  the  fullness  of  his  heart,  would  have  hugged  me  to  his  breast, 
if  I  had  not  opportunely  been  so  overpowered  as  to  fall  senseless 
under  the  table. 

When  I  first  returned  to  consciousness,  I  found  myself  lying  ex- 
actly where  I  had  fallen.  Around  me  lay  heaps  of  slain — the  two 
of  "  ours  "  amongst  the  number.  One  of  them — I  remember  he  was 
the  adjiitant — held  in  his  hand  a  wax  candle  (three  to  the  pound). 
Whether  he  had  himself  seized  it  in  the  enthusiasm  of  my  narrative 
of  flood  and  field,  or  it  had  been  put  there  by  another,  I  know  not, 
but  he  certainly  cut  a  droll  figure.  The  room  we  were  in  was  a 
small  one  off  the  great  saloon,  and  through  the  half  open  folding- 
door  I  could  clearly  perceive  that  the  festivities  were  still  continued. 
The  crash  of  fiddles  and  French  horns,  and  the  tramp  of  feet,  which 
had  lost  much  of  their  elasticity  since  the  entertainments  began,  rang 
through  my  ears,  mingled  with  the  sounds  "  down  the  middle, 
"liana's  across,"  "  here's  your  partner,  captain."  What  hour  of  the 
night  or  morning  it  then  was,  I  could  not  guess;  but  certainly  the 
vigor  of  the  party  seemed  little  abated,  if  I  might  judge  from  the 
specimen  before  me,  and  the  testimony  of  a  short  plethoric  gentle- 
men, who  stood  wiping  his  bald  head,  after  conducting  his  partner 
down  twenty-eight  couples,  and  who,  turning  to  his  friend,  said, 
"  Oh,  the  distance  is  nothing,  but  it  is  the  pace  that  kills." 

The  first  anxiety  I  showed  of  any  return  to  reason,  was  a  strong 
anxiety  to  be  at  my  quarters;  but  how  to  get  there  I  knew  not. 
The  fuint  glimmering  of  sense  I  possessed  told  me  that  "  to  stand 
was  to  fall,"  and  I  was  ashamed  to  go  on  all-fours,  which  prudence 
suggested. 

At  this  moment  I  remembered  I  had  brought  with  me  my  cane, 
which,  from  a  perhaps  pardonable  vanity,  I  was  fond  of  parading. 
It  was  a  present  from  the  officers  of  my  regiment — many  of  them, 
alas,  since  dead — and  had  a  most  splendid  gold  head,  with  a  stag  at 
the  top — the  arms  of  the  regiment.  This  I  would  not  have  lost  for 
any  consideration  I  can  mention;  and  this  now  was  gone?  I  looked 
around  me  on  every  side;  I  groped  beneath  the  table;  I  turned  the 
sleeping  sots  who  lay  about  in  no  very  gentle  fashion;  but,  alas,  it 
was  gone.  I  sprang  to  my  feet,  and  only  then  remembered  how  unfit 
I  was  to  follow  up  the  search,  as  tables,  chairs,  lights,  and  people, 
seemed  all  rocking  and  waving  before  me.  However,  I  succeeded  in 


HARRY    LORREQUER,  H 

making  my  way,  through  one  room  into  another,  sometimes  guiding 
my  steps  along  the  walls;  and  once,  as  I  recollect,  seeking  the  diag- 
onal of  a  room,  I  bisected  a  quadrille  with  such  ill-directed  speed,  as 
to  run  foul  of  a  Cork  dandy  and  his  partner  who  were  just  perform- 
ing the  "  en  avant :"  but  though  I  saw  them  tumbled  in  the  dust 
by  the  shock  of  my  encounter — for  I  had  upset  them — I  still  held  on 
the  even  tenor  of  my  way.  In  fact,  I  had  feeling  but  for  one  loss ; 
and,  still  in  pursuit  of  my  cane,  I  reached  the  hall-door.  Now,  be 
it  known  that  the  architecture  of  the  Cork  Mansion  House  has  but 
one  fault,  but  that  fault  is  a  grand  one,  and  a  strong  evidence  of 
how  unsuited  English  architects  are  to  provide  buildings  for  a  people 
whose  tastes  and  habits  they  but  imperfectly  understand — be  it 
known,  then,  that  the  descent  from  the  hall-door  to  the  street  was 
by  a  flight  of  twelve  stone  steps.  How  I  should  ever  get  down  these 
was  now  my  difficulty.  If  Falstaff  deplored  "  eight  yards  of  uneven 
ground  as  being  three  score  and  ten  miles  a  foot,"  with  equal  truth 
did  I  feel  that  these  twelve  awful  steps  were  worse  to  me  than  would 
be  M'Gillicuddy  Reeks  in  the  day-light,  and  with  a  head  clear  from 
champagne. 

While  I  yet  hesitated,  the  problem  resolved  itself;  for,  gazing 
down  upon  the  bright  gravel,  brilliantly  lighted  by  the  surrounding 
lamps,  I  lost  my  balance,  and  came  tumbling  and  rolling  from  top 
to  bottom,  where  I  fell  upon  a  large  mass  of  some  soft  substance,  to 
which,  in  all  probability,  I  owe  my  life.  In  a  few  seconds  I  recov- 
ered my  sense,  and  what  was  my  surprise  to  find  that  the  downy 
cushion  beneath  snored  most  audibly!  I  moved  a  little  to  one  side, 
and  then  discovered  that  in  reality  it  was  nothing  less  than  an  alder- 
man of  Cork,  who,  from  his  position,  I  concluded  had  shared  the 
same  fate  with  myself ;  there  he  lay,  "  like  a  warrior  taking  his  rest;" 
but  not  with  his  "  martial  cloak  around  him,"  but  a  much  more 
comfortable  and  far  more  costly  robe — a  scarlet  gown  of  office — with 
huge  velvet  cuffs  and  a  great  cape  of  the  same  material.  True  cour- 
age consists  in  presence  of  mind ;  and  here  name  came  to  my  aid 
at  once;  recollecting  the  loss  I  had  just  sustained,  and  perceiving 
that  all  was  still  about  me,  with  that  right  Peninsular  maxim,  that 
reprisals  are  fair  in  an  enemy's  camp,  I  proceeded  to  strip  the  slain; 
and  with  some  little  difficulty — partly,  indeed,  owing  to  my  own  un- 
steadiness on  my  legs — I  succeeded  in  denuding  the  worthy  alder- 
man, who  gave  no  other  sign  of  life  during  the  operation  than  an 
abortive  effort  to  "  hip,  hip,  hurra,"  in  which  I  left  him,  having  put 
on  the  spoil,  and  set  out  on  my  way  to  the  barrack  with  as  much 
dignity  of  manner  as  I  could  assume  in  honor  of  my  costume.  And 
here  I  may  mention  (en  parenthese)  that  a  more  comfortable  morn- 
ing-gown no  man  ever  possessed,  and  in  its  wide  luxuriant  folds  I 
revel,  while  I  write  these  lines. 

When  I  awoke  on  the  following  day  I  had  considerable  difficulty 
In  tracing  the  events  of  the  past  evening.  The  great  scarlet  cloak, 
however,  imraveled  much  of  the  mystery,  and  gradually  the  whole 
of  my  career  became  clear  before  me  with  the  single  exception  of 
the  episode  of  Phil  Beamish,  about  which  my  memory  was  subse- 
quently refreshed — but  I  anticipate.  Only  five  appeared  that  day  at 
mess;  and,  Lord!  what  specters  they  were! — yellow  as  guineas :  they 
called  for  soda  water  without  ceasing,  and  scarcely  spoke  a  word  to 


13  HARRY    LORREQUES. 

each  other.  It  was  plain  that  the  corporation  of  Cork  was  commit- 
ting more  havoc  among  us  than  Corunna  or  "Waterloo,  and  that  U 
we  did  not  change  our  quarters,  there  would  be  quick  promotion  in 
the  corps  for  such  as  were  "  seasoned  gentlemen."  After  a  day  or 
two  we  met  again  together,  and  then  what  adventures  were  told — each 
man  had  his  own  story  to  narrate;  and  from  the  occurrences  de- 
tailed, one  would.have  supposed  years  had  been,  passing,  instead  of 
the  short  hours  of  an  evening  party.  Mine  \7SSe,  indeed,  among 
the  least  remarkable;  but  I  confess  that  the  air  of  vraisemblance 
produced  by  my  production  of  the  aldennanic  gown  gave  me  the 
palm  above  all  competitors. 

Such  was  our  life  in  Cork — dining,  drinking,  dancing,  riding 
steeple-chases,  pigeon  shooting,  and  tandem,  driving — filling  up  any 
little  interval  that  was  found  to  exist  between  a  late  breakfast  and 
the  time  to  dress  for  dinner;  and  here  I  hope  I  shall  not  be  accused 
of  a  tendency  to  boasting,  while  I  add,  that  among  all  ranks  and  de- 
grees of  men,  and  women  too,  there  never  was  a  regiment  more 
highiv  in  estimation  than  the  4-th.  V^e  felt  the  full  value  of  all  the 
attentions  we  were  receiving;  and  we  endeavored,  as  best  we  might, 
to  repay  them.  We  got  up  garrit  on  balls  and  garrison  plays,  and 
usually  performed  once  or  tv.'ice  a  week  during  the  winter.  Here  I 
shone  conspicuously:  in  the  morning  I  was  employed  painting 
scenery,  and  arranging  the  properties-  as  it  grew  later,  I  regulated 
the  lamps,  and  looked  after  the  foot-lights,  mediating  occasionally 
between  angry  litigants,  whose  jealousies  abound  to  the  full  as 
much  in  private  theatricals  as  in  the  regular  corps  dramatique. 
Then,  I  was  also  leader  in  the  orchestra;  and  had  scarcely  given  the 
last  scrape  in  the  overture,  before  I  was  obliged  to  appear  to  speak 
the  prologue.  Such  are  the  cares  of  greatness :  to  do  myself  justice, 
I  did  not  dislike  them ;  though,  to  be  sure,  my  taste  for  the  drama 
did  cost  me  a  little  dear,  as  will  be  seen  in  the  sequal. 

We  were  then  in  the  full  career  of  popularity.  Our  balls  pro- 
nounced the  very  pleasantest ;  our  plays  far  superior  to  any  regular 
corps  that  had  ever  honored  Cork  with  their  talents;  when  an  event 
occurred  which  threw  a  gloom  over  all  our  proceedings,  and  finally 
put  a  stop  to  every  project  for  amusement  we  had  so  completely 
given  ourselves  up  to.  This  was  no  less  than  the  removal  of  our 
lieutenant-colonel.  After  thirty  years  of  active  service  in  the  regi- 
ment he  then  commanded,  his  age  and  infirmities,  increased  by  some 
severe  wounds,  demanded  ease  and  repose;  he  retired  from  vis,  bear- 
ing along  with  him  the  love  and  regard  of  every  man  in  the  regi- 
ment. To  the  old  officers,  he  .was  end  earedby  long  companionship 
and  undeviating  friendship ;  to  the  young,  he  was  in  every  respect  as 
a  father,  assisting  by  his  advice,  and  guiding  by  his  counsel;  while 
to  the  men,  the  best  estimate  of  his  worth  appeared  in  the  fact  that 
corporeal  punishment  was  unknown  in  the  corps.  Such  was  the 
man  we  lost;  and  it  may  well  be  supposed  that  his  successor,  who 
or  whatever  he  might  be,  camo  under  circumstances  of  no  common 
difficulty  amongst  us;  but  when  I  tell  that  our  new  lieutenant  colonel 
was  in  every  respect  his  opposite,  it  may  be  believed  how  little  cor- 
diality he  met  with. 

^Lieutenant-colonel  Garden — for  so  I  shall  call  him,  although  not 
bis  real  name—had  not  been  a  mouth  al  quarters,  when  he  proved 


HAKKY    LORREQUEB.  1$ 

himself  a  regular  martinet;  everlasting  drills,  continual  reports, 
fatigue  parties,  and  ball  practice,  and  Heaven  knows  what  besides, 
superseded  our  former  morning's  occupation;  and,  at  the  end  of  the 
time  I  have  mentioned,  we,  who  had  fought  our  way  from  Albuera 
to  Waterloo,  under  some  of  the  severest  generals  of  division,  were 
pronounced  a  most  disorderly  and  ill-disciplined  regiment  by  a  colo- 
nel who  had  never  seen  a  shot  fired  but  at  a  review  in  Hounslow, 
or  a  sham-battle  in  the  Fifteen  Acres.  The  winter  was  now  draw- 
ing to  a  close — already  some  little  touch  of  spring  was  appearing;  aa 
our  last  play  for  the  season  was  announced,  every  effort  to  close  with 
some  little  additional  eclat  was  made;  and  each  performer  in  the 
expected  piece  was  nerving  himself  for  an  effort  beyond  his  wont. 
The  colonel  had  most  unequivocally  condemned  these  plays;  but 
that  mattered  not;  they  came  not  within  his  jurisdiction;  and  we 
took  no  notice  of  his  displeasure,  further  than  sending  him  tickets, 
which  were  as  immediately  returned  as  received.  From  being  the 
chief  offender,  I  had  become  particularly  obnoxious;  and  he  had 
upon  more  than  one  occasion  expressed  his  desire  for  an  opportunity 
to  visit  me  with  his  vengeance;  but  being  aware  of  his  kind  inten- 
tions toward  me,  I  took  particular  care  to  let  no  such  opportunity 
occur. 

On  the  morning  in  question,  then,  I  had  scarcely  left  my  quarters, 
when  one  of  my  brother  officers  informed  me  that  the  colonel  had 
made  a  great  uproar,  that  one  of  the  bills  of  the  play  had  been  put 
up  on  his  door — which,  with  his  avowed  dislike  to  such  representa- 
tions, he  considered  as  intended  to  insult  him;  he  added,  too,  that 
the  colonel  attributed  it  to  me.  In  this,  however,  he  was  wrong—- 
and, to  this  hour,  I  never  knew  who  did  it.  I  had  little  time,  and 
still  less  inclination,  to  meditate  upon  the  colonel's  wrath — the  theater 
had  all  my  thoughts ;  and  indeed  it  was  a  day  of  no  common  exer- 
tion, for  our  amusements  were  to  conclude  with  a  grand  supper  on 
the  stage,  to  which  all  the  elite  of  Cork  were  invited.  Whenever  I 
went  through  the  city — and  many  were  my  peregrinations — the  great 
placard  of  the  play  stared  me  in  the  face;  and  every  gate  and  shut- 
tered window  in  Cork  proclaimed  "  THE  PART  OF  OTHELLO,  BY  MB. 

LORREQTJER." 

As  evening  drew  near,  my  cares  and  occupations  were  redoubled. 
My  lago  I  had  fears  for — 'tis  true  he  was  an  admirable  Lord  Grizzle 
in  Tom  Thumb— but  then — then  I  had  to  paint  the  whole  company, 
and  bear  all  their  abuse  besides,  for  not  making  some  of  the  most  ill- 
looking  wretches  perfect  Apollos;  but,  last  of  all,  I  was  sent  for,  at 
a  quarter  to  seven,  to  lace  Desdemona's  stays.  Start  not,  gentle 
reader — my  fair  Desdemona — she  "  who  might  lie  by  an  emperor's 
side,  and  command  him  tasks  " — was  no  other  than  the  senior  lieu- 
tenant of  the  regiment,  and  who  was  as  great  a  votary  of  the  jolly 
god  as  honest  Cassio  himself.  But  I  must  hasten  on — I  cannot  delay 
to  recount  our  success  in  detail.  Let  it  suffice  to  say  that,  by  uni- 
versal consent,  I  was  preferred  to  Kean,  and  the  only  fault  the  most 
critical  observer  could  find  to  the  representative  of  Desdemona  was 
a  rather  umady-like  fondness  for  snuff.  But,  whatever  little  de- 
merits our  acting  might  have  displayed  were  speedily  forgotten  in  a 
champagne  supper.  There  I  took  the  head  of  the  table,  and,  in  the 
costume  of  the  noble  Moor,  toasted,  made  speeches,  returned  thanks, 


14  HARRY    LORREQrER. 

and  sung  songs,  till  I  might  have  exclaimed  with  Othello  himself, 
"Chaos  was  come  again!" — and  I  believe  I  owe  my  ever  reaching 
the  barrack  that  night  to  the  kind  oliiccs  of  Desdemona,  \vho  carried 
me  the  greater  part  of  the  way  on  her  back. 

The  first  waking  thoughts  of  him  who  has  indulged  over-night  are 
not  among  the  most  blissful  of  existence,  and  certainly  the  pleasure 
is  not  increased  by  the  consciousness  that  he  is  called  on  to  the  dis- 
charge of  duties  to  which  a  fevered  pulse  and  throbbing  temples  are 
but  ill-suited.  My  sleep  was  suddenly  broken  in  upon  the  morning 
after  the  play  by*a  "  row-dow-dow  ''  beat  beneath  my  window.  I 
jumped  hastily  from  my  bed,  and  looked  out,  and  there,  to  my  hor- 
ror, perceived  the  regiment  under  arms.  It  was  one  of  our  con- 
founded colonel's  morning  drills;  and  there  he  stood  himself  with 
the  poor  adjutant,  who  had  been  up  all  night,  shivering  beside  him. 
Some  two  or  three  of  the  officers  had  descended ;  and  the  drum  was 
now  summoning  the  others,  as  it  beat  round  the  barrack-square.  I 
saw  there  was  not  a  moment  to  lose,  and  proceeded  to  dress  with  all 
dispatch;  but,  to  my  misery,  I  discovered  everywhere  nothing  but 
theatrical  robes  and  decorations — there  lay  a  spfendid  turban,  here  a 
pair  of  buskins — a  spangled  jacket  glittered  on  one  table,  and  a 
jeweled  cimeter  on  the  other.  At  last  I  detected  my  "  regimental 
small-clothes,"  Arc.,  most  ignominiously  thrust  into  a  corner,  in  my 
ardor  for  my  Moorish  robes  the  preceding  evening. 

I  dressed 'myself  with  the  speed  of  lightning;  but  as  I  proceeded 
in  my  occupation — guess  my  annoyance  to  find  that  the  toilet-table 
and  glass,  ay,  and  even  the  basin-stand,  had  been  removed  to  the 
dressing-room  of  the  theater;  and  my  servant,  I  suppose,  following 
his  master's  example,  was  too  tipsy  to  remember  to  bring  them  back; 
so  that  I  was  unable  to  procure  the  luxury  of  cold  water — for  now 
not  a  moment  more  remained — the  drum  had  ceased,  and  the  men 
had  all  fallen  in.  Hastily  drawing  on  my  coat,  I  put  on  my  shako, 
and  buckling  on  my  belt  as  dandy-like  as  might  t)e,  hurried  down 
the  stairs  to  the  barrack-yard.  By  the  time  I  got  down,  the  men 
were  all  drawn  up  in  line  along  the  square;  while  the  adjutant  was 
proceeding  to  examine  their  accouterments,  &c.,  as  he  passed  down. 
The  colonel  and  the  officers  were  standing  in  a  group,  but  not 
eonversing.  The  anger  of  the  commanding  officer  appeared  still  to 
continue,  and  there  was  a  dead  silence  maintained  on  both  sides.  To 
reach  the  spot  where  they  stood,  I  had  to  pass  along  part  of  the  line. 
In  doing  so,  how  shall  I  convey  my  amazement  at  the  faces  that  met 
me — a  general  titter  ran  along  the  entire  rank,  which  not  even  their 
fears  for  consequences  seemed  able  to  repress — for  an  effort,  on  the 
part  of  many  to  stifle  the  laugh,  only  ended  in  a  still  louder  burst 
of  merriment.  I  looked  to  the  far  side  of  the  yard  for  an  explana- 
tion, but  there  was  nothing  there  to  account  for  it.  I  now  crossed 
over  to  where  the  officers  were  standing,  determining  in  my  own 
mind  to  investigate  the  occurrence  thoroughly,  when  free  from  the 
presence  of  the  colonel,  to  whom  any  representation  of  ill  conduct 
always  brought  a  punishment  far  exceeding  the  merits  of  the  case. 

Scarcely  had  I  formed  this  resolve,  when  I  reached  the  group  of 
officers;  but  the  moment  I  came  near,  one  general  roar  of  laughter 
saluted  me — the  like  of  which  I  never  before  heard.  I  looked  down 
at  my  costume,  expecting  to  discover  that,,  in  my  hurry  to  dress,  I 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  Ifc 

haa  put  on  some  of  the  garments  of  Othello.  No:  all  was  perfectly 
correct.  I  waited  for  a  moment,  till,  the  first  burst  of  merriment 
over,  I  should  obtain  a  clew  to  the  jest.  But  there  seemed  no  pros- 
pect of  this,  for  as  I  stood  patiently  before  them  their  mirth  appeared 

to  increase.  Indeed  poor  G ,  the  senior  major,  one  of  the  gravest 

men  in  Europe,  laughed  till  the  tears  ran  down  his  cheeks;  and  such 
was  the  effect  upon  me,  that  I  was  induced  to  laugh  too — as  men 
will  sometimes,  from  the  infectious  nature  of  that  strange  emotion; 
but,  no  sooner  did  I  do  this,  than  their  fun  knew  no  bounds,  and 
some  almost  screamed  aloud,  in  the  excess  of  their  merriment.  Just 
at  this  instant,  the  colonel,  who  had  been  examining  some  of  the 
men,  approached  our  group,  advancing  with  an  air  of  evident  dis- 
pleasure, as  the  shouts  of  loud  laughter  continued.  As  he  came  up  I 
turned  hastily  round,  and  touching  my  cap,  wished  him  good  morn- 
ing. Never  shall  I  forget  the  look  he  gave  me.  If  a  glance  could 
have  annihilated  any  man,  his  would  have  finished  me.  For  a  mo- 
ment his  face  became  purple  with  rage,  his  eye  was  almost  hid  be- 
neath his  bent  brow,  and  he  absolutely  shook  with  passion. 

"  Go,  sir,"  said  he  at  length,  as  soon  as  he  was  able  to  find  utter- 
ance for  his  words;  "  Go,  sir,  to  your  quarters;  and  before  you  leave 
them,  a  court-martial  shall  decide  if  such  continued  insult  to  your 
commanding  officer  warrants  your  name  being  in  the  Army  List." 

"  What  the  devil  can  all  this  mean?"  I  said,  in  a  half  whisper, 
turning  to  the  others.  But  there  they  stood,  their  handkerchiefs  to 
their  mouths,  and  evidently  choking  with  suppressed  laughter. 

"  May  I  beg,  Colonel  C ,"  said  I 

"  To  your  quarters,  sir,"  roared  the  little  man,  in  the  voice  of  a 
lion.  And  with  a  haughty  wave  of  his  hand,  prevented  all  further 
attempt  on  my  part  to  seek  explanation. 

•'They're  all  mad,  everyone  of  them,"  I  muttered,  as  I  betook 
myself  slowly  back  to  my  rooms,  amid  the  same  evidences  of  mirth 
my  first  appearance  had  excited — which  even  the  colonel's  presence, 
feared  as  he  was,  could  not  entirely  subdue. 

With  the  air  of  a  martyr  I  trod  heavily  up  the  stairs,  and  entered 
my  quarters,  meditating  within  myself  awful  schemes  for  vengeance 
on  the  now  open  tyranny  of  my  colonel ;  upon  whom,  I  too,  in  my 
honest  rectitude  of  heart,  vowed  to  have  "a  court-martial."  1 
threw  myself  upon  a  chair,  and  endeavored  to  recollect  what  circum- 
stance of  the  past  evening  could  have  possibly  suggested  all  tho 
mirth  in  which  both  officers  and  men  seemed  to  participate  equally; 
but  nothing  could  I  remember,  capable  of  solving  the  mystery— 
surely  the  cruel  wrongs  of  the  manly  Othello  were  no  laughter-mov- 
ing subject. 

I  rang  the  bell  hastily  for  my  servant.    The  door  opened. 

"  Stubbes,"  said  I,  "  are  you  aware " 

I  had  only  got  so  far  in  my  question,  when  my  servant,  one  of  the 
most  discreet  of  men,  put  on  a  broad  grin,  and  turned  away  toward 
the  door  to  hide  his  face. 

"  What  the  devil  does  this  mean?"  said  I,  stamping  with  passion; 
"  he  is  as  bad  as  the  rest.  Stubbes,"  and  this  I  spoke  in  the  most 
grave  and  severe  tone,  "  what  is  the  meaning  of  this  insolence?" 

"  Oh,  sir,"  said  the  man;  "  Oh,  sir,  surely  you  did  not  appear  on 


16  HARRY    LOIIREQUER. 

the  parade  with  that  face?"  and  then  he  burst  iblo  a  fit  of  the  most 
uncontrollable  laughter. 

Like  lightning  a  horrid  doubt  shot  across  yny  mind.  I  sprang  over 
to  the  dressing  glass,  which  had  been  replaced,  and  oh!  horror  ol 
horrors!  there  I  stood  as  black  as  the  king  uf  Ashantee.  The  cursed 
dye  which  I  had  put  on  for  Othello,  I  had  never  washed  off — and 
there,  with  a  huge  bear-skin  shako,  and  a  pair  of  black,  bushy 
whiskers,  shone  my  huge,  black  and  polished  visage,  glowering  at 
itself  hi  the  looking-glass. 

My  first  impulse,  after  amazement  had  a  little  subsided,  was  to 
laugh  immoderately ;  in  this  I  was  joined  by  Stubbes,  who,  feeling 
that  his  mirth  was  participated  in,  gave  full  vent  to  his  risibility. 
And,  indeed,  as  I  stood  before  the  glass,  grinning  from  ear  to  ear 
I  felt  very  little  surprise  that  my  joining  in  the  laughter  of  my 
brother  officers,  a  short  time  before,  had  caused  an  increase  of  their 
merriment.  I  threw  myself  upon  a  sofa,  and  absolutely  laughed 
till  my  sides  ached,  when  the  door  opening,  the  adjutant  made  his 
appearance.  He  looked  for  a  moment  at  me,  then  at  Stubbes,  and 
then  burst  out  himself,  as  loud  as  either  of  us.  When  he  had  at 
length  recovered  himself  he  wiped  his  face  with  his  handkerchief, 
and  said  with  a  tone  of  much  gravity: 

"  But,  my  dear  Lorrequer,  this  will  be  a  serious — a  devilish  serious 

aff air.  You  know  what  kind  of  man  Colonel  C is ;  and  you  are 

aware,  too,  you  are  not  one  of  his  prime  favorites.  He  is  firmly 
convinced  that  you  intended  to  insult  him,  and  nothing  will  con- 
vince him  to  the  cpntraiy.  We  told  him  how  it  must  have  oc- 
curred, but  he  will  listen  to  no  explanation." 

I  thought  for  one  second  before  I  replied;  my  mind,  with  the 
practised  rapidity  of  an  old  campaigner,  took  in  all  the  pros  and 
cons  of  the  case;  I  saw  at  a  glance,  it  were  better  to  brave  the  anger 
of  the  colonel  come  in  what  shape  it  might,  than  be  the  laughing 
stock  of  the  mess  for  life,  and  with  a  face  of  the  greatest  gravity 
and  self-possession,  said: 

"  Well,  adjutant,  the  colonel  is  right.  It  was  no  mistake!  You 
know  I  sent  him  tickets  yesterday  for  the  theater.  Well,  he  returned 
them;  this  did  not  annoy  me,  but  on  one  account;  I  had  made  a 
wager  with  Alderman  Gullable,  that  the  colonel  should  see  me  in 
Othello — what  was  to  be  done?  Don't  you  see  now,  there  was  only 
one  course,  and  I  took  it,  old  boy,  and  have  won  my  bet." 

"  And  lost  your  commission  for  a  dozen  of  champagne,  I  sup- 
pose," said  the  adjutant. 

"  Never  mind,  my  dear  fellow,"  I  replied;  "  I  shall  get  out  of 
this  scrape,  as  I  have  done  many  others." 

"  But  what  do  you  intend  doing?" 

"  Oh,  as  to  that,"  said  I,  "  I  shall,  of  course,  wait  on  the  colonel 
immediately ;  pretend  to  him  that  it  was  a  mere  blunder,  from  th« 
inattention  of  my  servant — hand  over  Stubbes  to  the  powers  that 
punish  (here  the  poor  fellow  winced  a  little),  and  make  my  peace 
as  well  as  I  can.  But,  adjutant,  mind,"  said  I,  "  and  give  the  rever- 
sion to  all  our  fellows,  and  tell  them  to  make  it  public  as  much  as 
they  please." 

"  Never  fear,"  said  he,  as  he  left  the  room  still  laughing;  "  they 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  17 

shall  all  know  the  true  story;  but  I  wish  with  all  my  heart  you 
were  well  out  of  it." 

I  now  lost  no  time  in  making  my  toilet,  and  presented  myself  at 
the  colonel's  quarters.  It  is  no  pleasure  for  me  to  recount  these  pas- 
sages in  my  life,  in  which  I  have  had  to  bear  Ihe  "  proud  man's  con- 
tumely." I  shall  therefore  merely  observe,  that  after  a  very  long 
interview,  the  colonel  accepted  my  apologies,  and  we  parted. 

Before  a  week  elapsed,  the  story  had  gone  far  and  near;  every 
dinner-table  in  Cork  had  laughed  at  it.  As  for  me,  I  attained  im- 
mortal honor  from  my  tact  and  courage.  Poor  Gullable  readily 
agreed  to  favor  the  story,  and  gave  us  a  dinner  as  the  lost  wager, 
and  the  colonel  was  so  unmercifully  quizzed  on  the  subject,  and 
such  broad  allusions  to  his  being  humbugged  were  given  in  the 
Cork  papers,  that  he  was  obliged  to  negotiate  a  change  of  quarters 
with  another  regiment,  to  get  out  of  the  continual  jesting,  and  in 
less  than  a  month  we  marched  to  Limerick,  to  relieve,  as  it  was  re- 
ported, the  9th,  ordered  for  foreign  service,  but,  in  reality,  only  to 
relieve  Lieut. -colonel  C ,  quizzed  beyond  endurance. 

However,  if  the  colonel  had  seemed  to  forgive,  he  did  not  forget, 
for  the  very  second  week  after  our  arrival  in  Limerick,  I  received 
one  morning  at  my  breakfast-table,  the  following  brief  note  from 
our  adjutant : 

"  MY  DEAK  LORREQUER -.—The  colonel  has  received  orders  to  dis- 
patch two  companies  to  some  remote  part  of  the  county  Clare;  as 
you  have  '  done  the  state  some  service,'  you  are  selected  for  the 
beautiful  town  of  Kilrush,  where,  to  use  the  eulogistic  language  of 
the  geography  books,  '  there  is  a  good  harbor,  and  a  market  plenti- 
fully supplied  with  fish. '  I  have  just  heard  of  the  kind  intention 
in  store  for  you,  and  lose  no  time  in  letting  you  know. 

"  God  give  you  a  good  deliverance  from  the  '  garfons  blancs,'  a* 
the  Monsieur  calls  the  Whiteboys,  and  believe  me  ever  yours, 

"CHARLES  CURZON." 

I  had  scarcely  twice  read  over  the  adjutant's  epistle,  when  I  re- 
ceived an  official  notification  from  the  colonel,  directing  me  to  pro- 
ceed to  Kilrush,  then  and  there  to  afford  all  aid  and  assistance  in 
suppressing  illicit  distillation  when  called  on  for  that  purpose;  and 
other  similar  duties  too  agreeable  to  recapitulate.  Alas!  alas! 
"Othello's  occupation  "  was  indeed  gone !  The  next  morning  at  sun- 
rise saw  me  on  my  march,  with  what  appearance  of  gayety  I  could 
muster,  but  in  reality  very  much  chopfallen  at  my  banishment,  and 
invoking  sundry  things  upon  the  devoted  head  of  the  colonel,  which 
he  would  by  no  means  consider  as  "  blessings." 

How  short-sighted  are  we  mortals,  whether  enjoying  all  the  pomp 
and  state  of  royalty,  or  marching  like  myself  at  the  head  of  a  com- 
pany of  his  majesty's  4-th. 

Little,  indeed,  did  I  anticipate  that  the  Siberia  to  which  I  fan- 
cied I  was  condemned,  should  turn  out  the  happiest  quarters  my  fate 
ever  threw  me  into.  But  this,  including  as  it  does,  one  of  the  most 
important  events  of  my  life,  I  reserve  for  another  chapter. 

"  What  is  that  place  called,  sergc-inl  ?" 

"  Bunratty  Castle,  sir.  " 


18  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

"  Where  do  we  breakfast?" 
"  At  Clare  Island,  sir." 
"  March  away,  boys!" 

CHAPTER  II. 

DETACHMENT  DUTY — THE  BURTON  ARMS — CALLONBT. 

FOR  a  week  after  my  arrival  at  Kilrush,  my  life  was  one  of  the 
most  dreary  monotony.  The  rain  which  had  begun  to  fall  as  I  left 
Limerick,  continued  to  descend  in  torrents,  and  I  found  myself  a 
close  prisoner  in  the  sanded  parlor  of  "mine  inn."  At  no  time 
would  such  "  durance  vile  "  have  been  agreeable;  but  now,  when  I 
contrasted  it  with  all  I  had  left  behind  at  headquarters,  it  was  ab- 
solutely maddening.  The  pleasant  lounge  in  the  morning,  the  social 
mess,  and  the  agreeable  evening  party,  were  all  exchanged  for  a  short 
promenade  of  fourteen  feet  in  one  direction,  and  twelve  in  the  other, 
such  being  the  accurate  measurement  of  my  "  salle  &  manger."  A 
chicken  with  legs  as  blue  as  a  Highlander's  in  winter,  for  my  din- 
ner; and  the  hours  that  all  Christian  mankind  were  devoting  to 
pleasant  intercourse  and  agreeable  chit-chat  spent  in  beating  that 
dead  march  to  time,  "  the  Devil's  Tattoo,"  upon  my  rickety  table, 
and  forming  between  whiles  sundry  valorous  resolutions  to  reform 
rny  life,  and  "  eschew  sack  and  loose  company." 

My  front  window  looked  out  upon  a  long,  straggling,  ill-paved 
street,  with  its  due  proportion  of  mud-heaps  and  duck  pools ;  the 
houses  on  either  side  were,  for  the  most  part  dingy  -looking  edifices, 
with  half -doors,  and  such  pretension  to  being  shops  as  a  quart  of 
meal  or  salt  displayed  in  the  window  confers;  or  sometimes  two  to- 
bacco-pipes, placed  "saltier-wise,"  would  appear  the  only  vendible 
article  in  the  establishment.  A  more  wretched,  gloomy-looking  pict- 
ure of  woe-  begone  poverty  I  never  beheld. 

If  I  turned  for  consolation  to  the  back  of  the  house,  my  eyes  fell 
upon  the  dirty  yard  of  a  dirty  inn;  the  half  thatched  cow-shed, 
where  two  famished  animals  mourned  their  hard  fate — "  chewing 
the  cud  of  sweet  and  bitter  fancy;"  the  chaise,  the  yellow  post- 
chaise,  once  the  pride  and  glory  of  the  establishment,  now  stood 
reduced  from  its  wheels  and  ignominiously  degraded  to  a  hen-house; 
on  the  grass  grown  roof  a  cock  had  taken  his  stand,  with  an  air  of 
protective  patronage  to  the  feathered  inhabitants  beneath. 

"  To  what  base  uses  must  we  come  at  last." 

That  chaise,  which  once  had  conveyed  the  blooming  bride,  all 
blushes  and  tenderness,  and  the  happy  groom,  on  their  honeymoon 
visit  to  Ballybunion  and  its  romantic  caves,  or  to  the  gigantic  cliffs 
and  sea-girt  shores  of  Moher— or  with  more  steady  pace  and  becom- 
ing gravity  had  borne  along  the  "  going  judge  of  assize,"  was  now 
become  a  lying-in  hospital  for  fowl,  and  a  nursery  for  chickens. 
Fallen  as  I  was  myself  from  my  high  estate,  it  afforded  me  a  species 
of  malicious  satisfaction  to  contemplate  these  reverses  of  fortune; 
and  I  verily  believe— for  on  such  slight  foundation  our  greatest  re- 
solves are  built — that  if  the  rain  had  continued  a  week  longer,  I 
ehould  have  become  a  misanthropist  for  life.  I  made  many  inquir- 


HAEKY    LORREQUER.  19 

lee  from  my  landlady  as  to  the  society  of  the  place,  but  the  answers 
I  received  only  led  to  greater  despondence.  My  predecessors  here, 
it  seemed,  had  been  an  officer  of  a  veteran  battalion,  with  a  wife, 
and  that  amount  of  children  which  is  algebraically  expressed  by  an 
X  (meaning  an  unknown  quantity.)  He,  good  man,  in  his  two  years' 
sojourn  here,  had  been  much  more  solicitous  about  his  own  affaire, 
than  making  acquaintance  with  his  neighbors ;  and  at  last,  the  few 
persons  who  had  been  in  the  habit  of  calling  on  "  the  officer,"  p;avc 
up  the  practice;  and  as  there  were  no  young  ladies  to  refresh  Pa's 
memory  on  the  matter,  they  soon  forgot  completely  that  such  a 
person  existed  —  and  to  this  happy  oblivion  I,  Harry  Lorrequer, 
succeeded,  and  was  thus  left,  without  benefit  of  clergy,  to  the  tender 
mercies  of  Mrs.  Healy  of  the  Burton  Arms. 

As  during  the  inundation  which  deluged  the  whole  country  around 
I  was  unable  to  stir  from  the  house,  I  enjoyed  abundant  opportunity 
of  cultivating  the  acquaintance  of  my  hostess,  and  it  is  but  fair  that 
my  reader,  who  has  journeyed  so  far  with  me,  should  have  an  intro- 
duction. 

Mrs.  Healy,  the  sole  proprietor  of 'the  "Burton  Arms,"  was  of 
some  five  and  fifty — "  or  by'r  lady,"  three-score  years — of  a  rubicund 
and  hale  complexion;  and  though  her  short  neck  and  corpulent 
figure  might  have  set  her  down  as  "  doubly  hazardous,"  she  looked 
a  good  life  for  many  years  to  come.  In  height  and  breadth  she  most 
nearly  resembled  a  sugar-hogshead,  whose  rolling,  pitching  motion, 
when  trundled  along  on  edge,  she  emulated  in  her  gait.  To  the  un- 

§ainliness  of  her  figure  her  mode  of  dressing  not  a  little  contributed, 
he  usually  wore  a  thick  linsey-woolsey  gown,  with  enormous  pock- 
ets on  either  side,  and,  like  Nora  Creina's,  it  certainly  inflicted  no 
undue  restrictions  upon  her  charms,  but  left 

"  Every  beauty  free, 
To  sink  or  swell  as  heaven  pleases." 

Her  feet — ye  gods!  such  feet — were  appareled  in  listing  slippers, 
over  which  the  upholstery  of  her  ankles  descended,  and  completely 
relieved  the  mind  of  the  spectator  as  to  the  superincumbent  weight 
being  disproportioned  to  the  support ;  I  remember  well  my  first  im- 
pression on  seeing  those  feet  and  ankles  reposing  upon  a  straw  foot- 
stoo1,  while  she  took  her  afternoon  doze,  and  I  wondered  within  my- 
self, if  elephants  were  liable  to  the  gout.  There  are  few  counte- 
nances in  the  world,  that,  if  wishing  to  convey  an  idea  of,  we  cannot 
refer  to  some  well-known  standard,  and  thus  nothing  is  more  com- 
mon than  to  hear  comparisons  with  "  Vulcan — Venus — Nicodemus, " 
and  the  like;  but  in  the  present  case  1  am  totally  at  a  loss  for  any- 
thing resembling  the  face  of  the  worthy  Mrs.  Healy,  except  it  be, 
perhaps,  that  most  ancient  and  sour  visage  we  used  to  see  upon  old 
circular  iron  rappers  formerly — they  make  none  of  them  now — the 
only  difference  being,  that  Mrs.  Healy's  nose  had  no  ring  through 
it;  I  am  almost  tempted  to  add,  "  more's  the  pity." 

Such  was  she  "  in  the  flesh;"  would  that  I  could  say  she  was  more 
fascinating  in  the  "  spirit!"  but  alas,  truth,  from  which  I  never  may 
depart  in  these  "  my  confessions,"  constrains  me  to  acknowledge  the 
reverse.  Most  persons  in  this  miserable  world  of  ours,  have  some 
prevailing,  predominating  characteristic,  which  usually  gives  the 


20  HARRY    LOUREQUER. 

tone  and  color  to  all  their  thoughts  and  actions,  forming  what  we 
denominate  temperament ;  this  we  see  actuating  them,  now  more,  now 
less;  but  rarely,  however,  is  this  great  spring  of  action  without  its 
moments  of  repose.  Not  so  with  her  of  whom  I  have  been  speaking. 
She  had  but  one  passion — but  like  Aaron's  rod,  it  had  a  most  con- 
suming tendency — and  that  was  to  scold  and  abuse  all  whom  hard 
fate  had  brought  within  the  unfortunate  limits  of  her  tyranny.  The 
English  language,  compehensive  as  it  is,  afforded  not  epithets  strong 
enough  for  her  wrath,  and  she  sought  among  the  more  classic  beau- 
ties of  her  native  Irish,  such  additional  ones  as  served  her  need,  and 
with  this  holy  alliance  of  tongues  she  had  been  for  years  long  the 
dread  and  terror  of  the  entire  village. 

"  The  dawning  of  morn,  the  day-light  sinking," 

ay,  and  even  the  "  night's  dull  hours,"  it  was  said,  too,  found  her 
laboring  in  her  congenial  occupation ;  and  while  thus  she  continued 
to  "  scold  and  grow  fat,"  her  inn,  once  a  popular  and  frequented 
one,  became  gradually  less  and  less  frequented,  and  the  dragon  of  the 
Rhine-fells  did  not  more  effectually  lay  waste  the  territory  about  him 
than  did  the  evil  influence  of  her  tongue  spread  desolation  and  ruin 
around  her.  Her  inn,  at  the  time  of  my  visit,  had  not  been  troubled 
with  even  a  passing  traveler  for  many  months ;  and,  indeed,  if  I  had  had 
any,  even  the  least  foreknowledge  of  the  character  of  my  hostess,  its 
privacy  should  still  have  remained  uninvaded  for  some  time  longer. 

I  had  not  been  many  hours  installed,  when  I  got  a  specimen  of 
her  powers ;  and  before  the  first  week  was  over,  so  constant  and  un- 
remitting were  her  labors  in  this  way,  that  I  have,  upon  the  occasion 
of  a  slight  lull  in  the  storm,  occasioned  by  her  falling  asleep,  actually 
left  my  room  to  inquire  if  anything  had  gone  wrong,  in  the  same 
way  as  the  miller  is  said  to  awake,  if  the  mill  stops.  I  trust  I  have 
said  enough,  to  move  the  reader's  pity  and  compassion  for  my  situa- 
tion— one  more  miserable  it  is  difficult  to  conceive.  It  may  be 
thought  that  much  might  be  done  by  management,  and  that  a  slight 
exercise  of  the  favorite  Whig  plan  of  conciliation  might  avail. 
Nothing  of  the  kind.  She  was  proof  against  all  such  arts;  and  what 
was  still  worse,  there  was  no  subject,  no  possible  circumstance,  no 
matter,  past,  present,  or  to  come,  that  she  could  not  wind  by  her 
diabolical  ingenuity,  into  some  cause  of  offense;  and  then  came  the 
quick  transition  to  instant  punishment.  Thus  my  apparently  harm- 
less inquiry  as  to  the  society  of  the  neighborhood,  suggested  to  her — 
a  wish  on  my  part  to  make  acquaintance — therefore  to  dine  out — 
therefore  not  to  dine  at  home — consequently  to  escape  paying  half  a 
crown  and  devouring  a  chicken — therefore  to  defraud  her,  and  be- 
have as  she  would  herself  observe,  "  like  a  beggarly  scullion,  with 
his  four  shillings  a  day,  setting  up  for  a  gentleman, "  &c. 

By  a  quiet  and  Job-like  endurance  of  all  manner  of  taunting, 
•uspicions,  and  unmerited  sarcasms,  to  which  I  daily  become  more 
reconciled,  I  absolutely  rose  into  something  like  favor,  and  before  the 
first  month  of  my  banishment  expired,  had  got  the  length  of  an  in- 
vitation to  tea,  in  her  own  snuggery — an  honor  never  known  to  be 
bestowed  on  any  before,  with  the  exception  of  Father  Malachi  Breii- 
nan,  her  ghostly  adviser;  and  even  he,  it  is  said,  never  ventured  on 
such  an  approximation  to  intimacy,  until  he  was,  in  Kilrush  phrase, 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  21 

"  half  screwed,"  thereby  meaning  more  than  half  tipsy.  From  time 
to  time  thus,  I  learned  from  my  hostess  such  particulars  of  the  coun- 
try and  its  inhabitants  as  I  was  desirous  of  hearing;  and  among  other 
matters  she  gave  me  an  account  of  the  great  landed  proprietor  himself, 
Lord  Callouby,  who  was  daily  expected  at  his  seat,  within  some 
miles  of  Kilrush,  at  the  same  time  assuring  me  that  I  need  not  be 
looking  so  "  pleased  and  curling  out  my  whiskers;"  "that  they'd 
never  take  the  trouble  of  asking  even  the  name  of  me."  This, 
though  neither  very  courteous,  nor  altogether  flattering  to  listen  to 
was  no  more  than  I  had  already  learned  from  some  brother  officers 
who  knew  this  quarter,  and  who  informed  me  that  the  Earl  of  Cal- 
lonby,  though  only  visiting  his  Irish  estates  every  three  or  four  years, 
never  took  the  slightest  notice  of  any  of  the  military  in  his  neighbor- 
hood; nor,  indeed,  did  he  mix  with  the  country  gentry,  confining 
himself  to  his  own  family,  or  the  guests  who  usually  accompanied 
him  from  England,  and  remained  during  his  few  weeks'  stay.  My 
impression  of  his  lordship  was,  therefore,  not  calculated  to  cheer  my 
solitude  by  any  prospect  of  his  rendering  it  lighter. 

The  Earl's  family  consisted  of  her  ladyship,  an  only  son,  nearly 
of  age,  and  two  daughters;  the  eldest,  Lady  Jane,  had  the  reputation 
of  beinsr  extremely  beautiful ;  and  I  remembered  when  she  came  out 
in  Lontkm,  only  the  year  before,  hearing  nothing  but  praises  of  the 
grace  and  elegance  of  her  manner,  united  to  the  most  classic  beauty 
of  her  face  and  figure.  The  second  daughter  was  some  years 
younger,  and  said  to  be  also  very  handsome ;  but  as  yet  she  had  not 
been  brought  into  society.  Of  the  son,  Lord  Kilkee,  I  only  heard 
that  he  had  been  a  very  gay  fellow  at  Oxford,  where  he  was  much 
liked,  and  although  not  particularly  studious,  had  given  evidence  of 
talent. 

Such  were  the  few  particulars  I  obtained  of  my  neighbors,  and 
thus  little  did  I  know  of  those  who  were  so  soon  to  exercise  a  most 
important  influence  upon  my  future  life. 

After  some  weeks'  close  confinement,  which,  judging  from  my 
feelings  alone,  I  should  have  counted  as  many  years  I,  eagerly  seized 
the  opportunty  of  the  first  glimpse  of  sunshine,  to  make  a  short  ex- 
cursion along  the  coast;  I  started  early  in  the  morning,  and  after  a 
long  stroll  along  the  bold  headlands  of  Kilkee,  was  returning  late  in 
the  evening  to  my  lodgings.  My  path  lay  across  a  wild,  bleak  moor, 
dotted  with  low  clumps  of  furze,  and  not  presenting  on  any  side  the 
least  trace  of  habitation.  In  wading  through  the  tangled  bushes,  my 
dog  "  Mouche  "  started  a  hare;  and  after  a  run  "  sharp,  short  ami 
decisive,"  killed  it  at  the  bottom  of  a  little  glen  some  hundred  yards 
off. 

I  was  just  patting  my  dog,  and  examining  the  prize,  when  I  heard 
a  crackling  among  the  low  bushes  near  me ;  and  on  looking  up,  per- 
ceived about  twenty  paces  distant,  a  short,  thick-set  man,  whose 
fustian  jacket  and  leathern  gaiters  at  one  pronounced  him  the  game- 
keeper; he  stood  leaning  upon  his  gun,  quietly  awaiting,  as  it  seemed 
for  any  movement  on  my  part,  before  he  interfered.  With  one 
glance  I  detected  how  matters  stood,  and  immediately  adopting  my 
usual  policy  of  "  taking  the  bull  by  the  horns,"  called  out,  in  a  tone 
of  very  sufficient  authority : 

"  I  say,  my  man,  are  you  his  lordship's  game-keeper?" 


22  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

Taking  off  his  hat,  the  man  approached  me,  and  very  respectfully 
informed  me  that  he  was. 

"  Well,  then,"  said  I,  "  present  this  hare  to  his  lordship  with  my 
respects ;  here  is  my  card,  and  say  I  shall  be  most  happy  to  wait  on 
him  in  the  morning  and  explain  the  circumstances." 

The  man  took  the  card,  and  seemed  for  some  moments  undecided 
how  to  act;  he  seemed  to  think  that  probably  he  might  be  ill-treating 
a  friend  of  his  lordship's  if  he  refused ;  and  on  the  other  hand  might 
be  merely  "  jockeyed  "  by  some  bold-faced  poacher.  Meanwhile  I 
whistled  my  dog  close  up,  and  humming  an  air,  with  great  appear- 
ance of  indifference,  stepped  out  homeward.  By  this  piece  of  pres- 
ence of  mind  I  saved  poor  "  Mouche;"  for  I  saw  at  a  glance,  that, 
with  true  game-keeper's  law,  he  had  been  destined  to  death  the  mo- 
ment he  had  committed  the  offense. 

The  following  morning,  as  I  sat  at  breakfast,  meditating  upon  the 
events  of  the  proceeding  day,  and  not  exactly  determined  how  to  act, 
whether  to  write  to  his  lordship  explaining  how  the  matter  occurred, 
or  call  personally,  a  loud  rattling  on  the  pavement  drew  me  to  the 
window.  As  the  house  stood  at  the  end  of  a  street,  I  could  not  see 
hi  the  direction  the  noise  came;  but  as  I  listened,  a  very  handsome 
tandem  turned  the  corner  of  the  narrow  street,  and  came  along  to- 
ward the  hotel  at  a  long,  sling  trot ;  the  horses  were  dark  chestnuts, 
well  matched,  and  showing  a  deal  of  blood.  The  carriage  was  a 
dark  drab,  with  black  wheels;  the  harness  all  of  the  same  color. 
The  whole  turn-out — and  I  was  an  amateur  of  that  sort  of  thing — 
was  perfect;  the  driver,  for  I  come  to  him  at  last,  as  he  was  the  last 
I  looked  at,  was  a  fashionable  looking  young  fellow,  plainly,  but 
knowingly  dressed,  and  evidently  handling  the  "  ribbon  "  like  an 
experienced  whip. 

After  bringing  his  nags  up  to  the  inn  door  in  very  pretty  style,  he 
gave  the  reins  to  his  servant,  and  got  down.  Before *I  was  well  aware 
of  it,  the  door  of  my  room  opened,  and  the  gentleman  entered  with  a 
certain  easy  air  of  good-breeding,  and  saying: 

' '  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  presume— ' '  introduced  himself  as  Lord  Kilkee. 

I  immediately  opened  the  conversation  by  an  apology  for  my  dog's 
misconduct  on  the  day  before,  and  assured  his  lordship  that  I  knew 
the  value  of  a  hare  in  a  hunting  country,  and  was  really  sorry  for 
the  circumstance. 

"  Then  I  must  say,"  replied  his  lordship,  "  Mr.  Lorrequer  is  the 
only  person  who  regrets  the  matter;  for  had  it  not  been  for  this,  it  is 
more  than  probable  we  should  never  have  known  we  were  so  near 
neighbors;  in  fact,  nothing  could  equal  our  amazement  at  hearing 
you  were  playing  the  '  Solitaire  '  down  here.  You  must  have  found 
it  dreadfully  heavy,  '  and  have  thought  us  downright  savages. '  But 
then  I  must  explain  to  you,  that  iny'father  has  made  some  '  rule  ab- 
solute '  about  visiting  when  down  here.  And  though  I  know  you'll 
not  consider  it  a  compliment,  yet  I  can  assure  you  there  is  not  an- 
other man  I  know  of  he  would  pay  attention  to,  but  yourself.  He 
made  two  efforts  to  get  here  this  morning,  but  the  '  gout  would  not 
be  denied,'  and  so  he  deputed  a  most  inferior  '  diplomate;'  and  now 
will  you  let  me  return  with  some  character  from  my  first  mission, 
and  inform  my  friends  that  you  will  dine  with  as  to-day  at  seven — a 
mere  family  party;  but  make  your  arrangements  to  stop  all  night 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  23 

and  to-morrow :  we  shall  find  some  work  for  my  friend  there  on  the 
hearth;  what  do  you  call  him,  Mr.  Lorrequer?" 

"  '  Mouche ' — come  here,  '  Mouche.' ' 

"  Ah  '  Mouche,'  come  here,  my  fine  fellow — a  splendid  dog,  in- 
deed; very  tall  for  a  thorough-bred ;  and  now  you'll  not  forget,  seven, 
'terns  militaire,'  and  so,  sans  adieu." 

And  with  these  words  his  lordship  shook  me  heartily  by  the  hand; 
and  before  two  minutes  had  elapsed,  had  wrapped  his  box  coat  once 
more  across  him,  and  was  round  the  corner. 

I  looked  for  a  few  moments  on  the  again  silent  street,  and  was 
almost  tempted  to  believe  I  was  in  a  dream,  so  rapidly  had  the  pre- 
ceding moments  passed  over;  and  so  surprised  was  I  to  find  that  the 
proud  Earl  of  Callonby,  who  never  did  the  "  civil  tiling  "  anywhere, 
should  think  proper  to  pay  attention  to  a  poor  sub  in  a  marching 
regiment,  whose  only  claim  on  his  acquaintance  was  the  suspicion 
of  poaching  on  his  manor.  I  repeated  over  and  over  all  his  lordship's 
most  polite  speeches,  trying  to  solve  the  mystery  of  them;  but  in 
vain;  a  thousand  explanations  occurred,  but  none  of  them  I  felt  at  all 
satisfactory ;  but  that  there  was  some  mystery  somewhere,  I  had  no 
doubt ;  for  I  remarked  all  through  that  Lord  Kilkee  laid  some  stress 
upon  my  identity,  and  even  seemed  surprised  at  my  being  in  such 
banishment.  "  Oh,"  thought  I  at  last,  "his  lordship  is  about  to 
get  up  private  theatricals,  and  has  seen  my  Captain  Absolute,  or 
perhaps  my  Hamlet  " — I  could  not  say  "  Othello,"  even  to  myself — 
"  and  is  anxious  to  get  '  such  unrivaled  talent '  even  for  one  night 
only.'  " 

After  many  guesses  this  seemed  the  nearest  I  could  think  of :  and 
by  the  time  I  had  finished  my  dressing  for  dinner,  it  was  quite  clear 
to  me  I  had  solved  all  the  secret  of  his  lordship's  attentions. 

The  road  to  "  Callonby  "  was  beautiful  beyond  anything  I  had 
ever  seen  in  Ireland.  For  upward  of  two  miles  it  led  along  the 
margin  of  the  lofty  cliffs  of  Moher,  now  jutting  out  into  bold  prom- 
ontories, and  again  retreating,  and  forming  small  bays  and  mimic 
harbors,  into  which  the  heavy  swell  of  the  Broad  Atlantic  was  roll- 
ing its  deep  blue  tide.  The  evening  was  perfectly  calm,  and  at  a 
little  distance  from  the  shore  the  surface  of  the  sea  was  without  a 
ripple.  The  only  sound  breaking  the  solemn  stillness  of  the  hour 
was  the  heavy  plash  of  the  waves,  as  hi  minute  peals  they  rolled  in 
upon  the  pebbly  beach,  and  brought  back  with  them,  at  each  retreat, 
some  of  the  larger  and  smoother  stones,  whose  noise,  as  they  fell 
back  into  old  ocean's  bed,  mingled  with  the  din  of  the  breaking  surf. 
In  one  of  the  many  little  bays  I  passed,  lay  three  or  four  fishing- 
smacks.  The  sails  were  drying,  and  flapped  lazily  against  the  masts. 
I  could  see  the  figures  of  the  men  as  they  passed  backward  and  for- 
ward iipon  the  decks,  and  although  the  height  was  nearly  eight  hun- 
dred feet,  could  hear  their  voices  quite  distinctly.  Upon  the  golden 
strand,  which  was  still  marked  with  a  deeper  tint,  where  the  tide 
had  washed,  stood  a  little  white  cotlage  of  some  fisherman — at  least, 
so  the  net  before  the  door  bespoke  it.  Around  it,  stood  some  chil- 
dren, whose  merry  voices  and  laughing  tones  sometimes  reached  me 
where  I  was  standing.  I  could  not  but  think,  as  I  looked  down  from 
my  lofty  eyrie  upon  that  little  group  of  boats,  and  that  lone  hut, 
how  much  of  the  "  world  "  to  the  humble  dweller  beneath,  lay  in 


24  HARRY    LORREQTTER. 

that  secluded  and  narrow  bay.  There,  the  deep  sea,  where  theii 
days  were  passed  in  "  storm  and  sunshine," — there,  the  humble 
home,  where  at  night  they  rested,  and  around  whose  hearth  lay  all 
their  cares  and  all  their  joys.  How  far,  how  very  far  removed  from 
the  busy  haunts  of  men,  and  all  the  struggles  and  contentions  of  the 
ambitious  world;  and  yet,  how  short-sighted  to  suppose  that  even 
they  had  not  their  griefs  and  sorrows,  and  that  their  humble  lot  was 
devoid  of  the  inheritance  of  those  woes,  which  all  are  heirs  to. 

I  turned  reluctantly  from  the  sea-shore  to  enter  the  gate  of  the 
park,  and  my  path  in  a  few  moments  was  as  completely  screened 
from  all  prospect  of  the  sea,  as  though  it  had  lain  miles  inland.  An 
avenue  of  tall  and  ancient  lime  trees,  so  dense  in  their  shadows  as 
nearly  to  conceal  the  road  beneath,  led  for  above  a  mile  through  a 
beautiful  lawn,  whose  surface,  gently  undulating,  and  studded  with 
young  clumps,  was  dotted  over  with  sheep.  At  length,  descending 
by  a  very  steep  road,  I  reached  a  beautiful  little  stream,  over  which  a 
rustic  bridge  was  thrown.  As  I  looked  down  upon  the  rippling 
stream  beneath,  on  the  surface  of  which  the  dusky  evening  flies  were 
dipping,  I  made  a  resolve;  if  I  prospered  in  his  lordship's  good 
graces,  to  devote  a  day  to  the  "  angle"  there,  before  I  left  the  coun- 
try. It  was  now  growing  late,  and  remembering  Lord  Kilkee's  in- 
timation of  "sharp  seven,"  I  threw  my  reins  over  my  cob,  "  Sir 
"Roger's  "  neck  (for  I  had  hitherto  been  walking),  and  cantered  up  tl.e 
steep  hill  before  me.  When  I  reached  the  top,  I  found  myself  upon 
a  broad  table  land,  encircled  by  old  and  well-grown  timber,  and  at 
a  distance,  roost  tastefully  half  concealed  by  ornamental  painting,  I 
could  catch  some  glimpse  of  Callonby.  Before,  however,  I  had 
time  to  look  about  me,  I  heard  the  tramp  of  horses'  feet  behind,  and 
in  another  moment  two  ladies  dashed  up  the  steep  behind,  and  came 
toward  me  at  a  smart  gallop,  followed  by  a  groom,  who  neither  him- 
self nor  his  horse  seemed  to  relish  the  pace  of  his  fair  mistresses.  I 
moved  off  the  road  into  the  grass,  to  permit  them  to  pass;  but  no 
sooner  had  they  got  abreast,  of  me,  than  Sir  Roger,  anxious  for  a 
fair  start,  flung  up  both  heels  at  once,  pricked  up  his  ears,  and  with 
a  plunge  that  very  nearly  threw  me  from  the  saddle,  set  off  at  top 
speed.  My  first  thought  was  for  the  ladies  beside  me,  and  to  my 
utter  horror,  I  now  saw  them  coming  along  at  full  gallop,  their 
horses  had  got  off  the  road,  and  were  to  my  thinking  become  quite 
unmanageable.  I  endeavored  to  pull  up,  but  all  hi  vain.  Sir  Roger 
had  got  the  bit  between  his  teeth,  a  favorite  trick  of  his,  and  I  was 
perfectly  powerless  to  hold  him;  by  this  tune,  they  being  mounted 
on  thoroughbreds,  got  a  full  neck  before  me,  and  the  pace  was  now 
tremendous;  on  we  all  came,  each  horse  at  his  utmost  stretch;  they 
were  evidently  gaining  from  the  better  stride  of  their  cattle,  and  will 
it  be  believed,  or  shall  I  venture  to  acknowledge  it  in  these  my  Con- 
fessions, that  I  who,  a  moment  before,  would  have  given  my  best 
chance  of  promotion  to  be  able  to  pull  in  my  horse,  would  now  have 
"  pledged  my  dukedom  "  to  be  able  to  give  Sir  Roger  one  cut  of  the 
whip  unobserved.  I  leave  it  to  the  wise  to  decipher  the  rationale, 
but  such  is  the  fact.  It  was  complete  steeple-chasing  and  my  blood 
was  up. 

On  we  came,  and  I  now  perceived  that  about  two  hundred  yards 
before  me  stood  an  iron  gate  and  piers,  without  any  hedge  or  wall  on 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  25 

either  side;  before  I  could  conjecture  the  meaning  of  so  strange  a 
thing  in  the  midst  of  a  large  lawn,  I  saw  the  foremost  horse,  now 
two  or  three  lengths  before  the  other,  still  in  advance  of  me,  take 
two  or  three  short  strides,  and  fry  about  eight  feet  over  a  sunken 
fence — the  second  followed  in  the  same  style,  the  riders  sitting  as 
steadily  as  in  the  gallop.  It  was  now  my  turn,  and  I  confess,  as  I 
neared  the  dike,  I  heartily  wished  myself  well  over  it,  for  the  very 
possibility  of  a  "  mistake  "  was  maddening.  Sir  Roger  came  on  at 
a  slapping  pace,  and  when  within  two  yards  of  the  brink,  rose  to  it, 
and  cleared  it  like  a  deer.  By  the  time  I  had  accomplished  this  feat, 
not  the  less  to  my  satisfaction  that  both  ladies  had  turned  in  the 
saddles  to  watch  me,  they  were  already  far  in  advance;  they  held 
on  still  at  the  same  pace,  round  a  small  copse  which  concealed 
them  an  instant  from  my  view,  and  which,  when  I  passed,  I  per- 
ceived that  they  had  just  reached  the  hall  door,  and  were  dismount- 
ing. 

On  the  steps  stood  a  tall,  elderly- looking,  gentlemanlike  person, 
who  I  rightly  conjectured  was  his  lordship.  I  heard  him  laughing 
heartily  as  I  came  up.  I  at  last  succeeded  in  getting  Sir  Roger  to  a 
canfer,  and  when  about  twenty  yards  from  where  the  group  were 
standing,  sprung  off,  and  hastened  up  to  make  my  apologies  as  I  best 
might,  for  my  unfortunate  runaway.  I  was  fortunately  spared  the 
awkwardness  of  an  explanation,  for  his  lordship,  approaching  me 
with  his  hand  extended,  said : 

' '  Mr.  Lorrequer  is  most  welcome  at  Callonby.  I  cannot  be  mis- 
taken, I  am  sure — I  have  the  pleasure  of  addressing  the  nephew  of 
my  old  friend,  Sir  Guy  Lorrequer  of  Elton.  I  am  indeed  most  happy 
to  see  you,  and  not  the  less  so,  that  you  are  safe  and  sound,  which 
five  minutes  since,  I  assure  you,  I  had  my  fears  for " 

Before  I  could  assure  his  lordship  that  my  fears  were  all  for  my 
competitors  in  the  race — for  such  in  reality  they  were — he  introduced 
me  to  the  two  ladies,  who  were  still  standing  beside  him — Lady  Jane 
Callonby;  Mr.  Lorrequer;  Lady  Catherine. " 

"  "Which  of  you,  young  ladies,  may  I  ask,  planned  this  escapade, 
for  I  see  by  your  looks,  it  was  no  accident?" 

"  I  think,  papa,"  said  Lady  Jane,  "  you  must  question  Mr.  Lor- 
requer on  that  head!  he  certainly  started  first." 

"  I  confess,  indeed,"  said  I,  "  such  was  the  case." 

"Well,  you  must  confess  too,  you  were  distanced,"  said  Lady 
Jane. 

His  lordship  laughed  heartily,  and  I  joined  in  his  mirth,  feeling, 
at  the  same  time,  most  terribly  provoked,  to  be  quizzed  on  such  a 
matter;  that  I,  a  steeple-chase  horseman  of  the  first  water,  should  be 
twitted  by  a  couple  of  young  ladies,  on  the  score  of  a  most  manly 
exercise.  "But  come,"  said  his  lordship,  "  the  first  bell  has  rung 
long  since,  and  I  am  Tonging  to  ask  Mr.  Lorrequer  all  about  my  old 
college  friend  of  forty  years  ago.  So,  ladies,  hasten  your  toilet,  I 
beseech  you." 

With  these  words,  his  lordship,  taking  my  arm,  led  me  into  the 
draAving-room,  where  we  had  not  been  many  minutes  till  we  were 
joined  by  her  ladyship,  a  tall,  stately,  handsome  woman,  of  a  certain 
age;  resolutely  bent  upon  being botli young  and  beautiful,  in  spite  of 
time  and  wrinkles;  her  reception  of  ine,  though  not  possessing  the 


26  HABRY    LORREQUER. 

frankness  of  his  lordship,  was  still  very  polite,  and  intended  to  b« 
even  gracious.  I  now  found  by  the  reiterated  inquiries  for  my  old 
uncle,  Sir  Guy,  that  he  it  was,  and  not  Hamlet,  to  whom  I  owed  my 
present  notice,  and  I  must  include  it  among  my  Confessions,  that  it 
was  about  the  first  advantage  I  ever  derived  from  the  relationship. 
After  half  an  hour's  agreeable  chatting,  the  ladies  entered,  and  then 
I  had  time  to  remark  the  extreme  beauty  of  their  appearance;  they 
were  both  wonderfully  like,  and  except  that  Lady  Jane  was  taller 
and  more  womanly,  it  would  have  been  almost  impossible  to  discrim- 
inate between  them. 

Lady  Jane  Callonby  was  then  about  twenty  years  of  age,  rather 
above  the  midle  size,  and  slightlv  disposed  toward  embonpoint;  her 
eye  was  of  the  deepest  and  most  liquid  blue,  and  rendered  apparently 
darker,  by  long  lashes  of  the  blackest  jet — for  such  was  the  color  of 
her  hair;  her  nose  slightly,  but  slightly,  deviated  from  the  straight- 
ness  of  the  Greek,  and  her  upper  lip  was  faultless,  as  were  her  mouth 
and  chin ;  the  whole  lower  part  of  the  face,  from  the  perfect  ' '  chis- 
eling," and  from  the  carriage  of  her  head,  had  certainly  a  great  air 
of  hauteur,  but  the  extreme  melting  softness  of  her  eyes  took  from 
this,  and  when  she  spoke,  there  was  a  quiet  earnestness  in  her  mild 
and  musical  voice  that  disarmed  you  at  once  of  connecting  the  idea 
of  self  with  the  speaker;  the  word  "fascinating/'  more  than  any 
other  I  know  of,  conveys  the  effect  of  her  appearance,  and  to  pro- 
duce it,  she  had,  more  than  any  other  woman  I  ever  met,  that  won- 
derful gift,  the  "  I' art  de'plaire." 

I  was  roused  from  my  perhaps  too  earnest,  because  unconscious 
gaze,  at  the  lovely  figure  before  me,  by  his  lordship  saying,  "  Mr. 
Lorrequer,  her  ladyship  is  waiting  for  you."  I  accordingly  bowed, 
and  offering  her  my  arm,  led  her  into  the  dinner-room.  And  here  I 
draw  rein  for  the  present,  reserving  for  my  next  chapter  My  Advent- 
ures at  Callonby. 


CHAPTER  III. 

LIFE  AT    CALLONBY — LOVE-MAKING— MRS.    O'DOWD'S    ADVENTURE. 

My  first  evening  at  Callonby  passed  off  as  nearly  all  first  evenings 
do  everywhere.  His  lordship  was  most  agreeable,  talked  much  of 
my  uncle,  Sir  Guy,  whose  fag  he  had  been  at  Eton  half  a  century 
before,  promised  me  some  capital  shooting  in  his  preserves,  discussed 
the  state  of  politics;  and,  as  the  second  decanter  of  port  "waned 
apace,"  grew  wondrous  confidential,  and  told  me  of  his  intention  to 
Btart  his  son  for  the  county  at  the  next  general  election,  such  being 
the  object  which  had  now  conferred  the  honor  of  his  presence  on 
his  Irish  estates. 

Her  ladyship  was  most  condescendingly  civil,  vouchsafed  much 
tender  commiseration  for  my  "  exile,"  as  she  termed  my  quarters  at 
Kilrush ;  wondered  how  I  could  possibly  exist  in  a  marching  regiment 
(who  had  never  been  in  the  cavalry  in  my  life!),  spoke  quite  fedingly 
of  my  kindness  in  joining  their  stupid  family  party,  for  they  were 
living,  to  use  their  own  phrase,  "  like  hermits;"  and  wound  up  all 
by  a  playful  assurance  that  as  she  perceived,  from  all  my  answers, 
that  I  was  bent  on  preserving  a  strict  incognito,  she  would  tell  no 


HARRY    LORREQtER.  'A! 

tales  about  me  on  her  return  to  "  Town."  Now  it  may  readily  be 
believed  that  all  this,  and  many  more  of  her  ladyship's  allusions, 
were  a  "  Chaldee  manuscript"  to  me;  that  she  knew  certain  facts  of 
my  family  and  relations,  was  certain;  bxit  that  she  had  interwoven 
in  the  humble  web  of  my  history  a  very  pretty  embroidery  of  fiction 
was  equally  so;  and  while  she  thus  ran  on,  with  innumerable  allu- 
sions to  Lady  Mary  and  Lord  Johns,  who  she  pretended  to  suppose 
were  dying  to  hear  from  me,  I  could  not  help  muttering  to  myself 
with  good  Christopher  Sly,  "  And  all  this  be  true — then  Lord  be 
thanked  for  my  good  amends;"  for  up  to  that  moment  I  was  an  un- 
grateful man  for  all  this  high  and  noble  solicitude.  One  dark  doubt 
shot  for  an  instant  across  my  brain.  Maybe  her  ladyship  had  "  reg- 
istered a  vow  "  never  to  syllable  a  name  unchronicled  by  Debrett,  or 
was  actually  only  mystifying  me  for  mere  amusement.  A  minute's 
consideration  dispelled  this  fear:  for  I  found  myself  treated  "  en 
Seigneur"  by  the  whole  family.  As  for  the  daughters  of  the  house, 
nothing  could  possibly  be  more  engaging  than  their  manner.  The 
eldest,  Lady  Jane,  was  pleased  from  my  near  relationship  to  her 
father's  oldest  friend  to  receive  me,  "from  the  first,"  on  the  most 
friendly  footing,  while,  with  the  younger,  Lady  Catharine,  from  her 
being  less  rnaniere  than  her  sister,  my  progress  was  even  greater; 
and  thus,  before  we  separated  for  the  night,  I  contrived  to  "  take  up 
my  position  "  in  such  a  fashion  as  to  be  already  looked  upon  as  one 
of  the  family  party,  to  which  object,  Lord  and  indeed  Lady  Callonby, 
seemed  most  willing  to  contribute,  and  made  me  promise  to  spend 
the  entire  of  the  following  day  at  Callonby,  and  as  many  of  the  suc- 
ceeding ones  as  my  military  duties  would  permit. 

As  his  lordship  was  wishing  me  "  good  night"  at  the  door  of  the 
drawing-room,  he  said,  in  a  half  whisper: 

"  "We  were  ignorant  yesterday,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  how  soon  we 
should  have  the  pleasure  of  seeing  you  here ;  and  you  are  therefore 
condemned  to  a  small  room  off  the  library,  it  being  the  only  one  we 
can  insure  you  as  being  well  aired.  I  must  therefore  apprise  you  that 
you  are  not  to  be  shocked  at  finding  yourself  surrounded  by  every 
member  of  the  family,  hung  up  in  frames  around  you.  But  as  the 
room  is  usually  my  own  snuggeiy,  I  have  resigned  it  without  any  al- 
teration whatever." 

The  apartments  for  which  his  lordship  had  so  strongly  apologized 
stood  in  very  pleasant  contrast  to  my  late  one  in  Kilrush.  The  soft 
Persian  carpet,  on  which  one's  feet  sank  to  the  very  ankles,  the 
brightly  polished  dogs,  upon  which  a  blazing  fire  burned ;  the  well 
upholstered  f  auteuils  which  seemed  to  invite  sleep  without  the  trouble 
of  lying  down  for  it;  and  last  of  all,  the  ample  and  luxurious  bed, 
upon  whose  rich  purple  hangings  the  ruddy  glare  of  the  fire  threw 
a  most  mellow  light,  was  all  a  pleasing  exchange  for  the  "  garniture" 
of  the  "Hotel  Healy." 

"  Certes,  Harry  Lorrequer,"  said  I,  as  I  threw  myself  upon  a  small 
ottoman  before  the  fire  in  all  the  slippered  ease  and  abandon  of  a 
man  who  has  changed  a  dress  coat  for  a  morning-gown ;  ' '  Certes, 
thou  art  destined  for  great  things;  even  here,  where  fate  had  seemed 
*  to  do  his  worst '  to  thee,  a  little  paradise  opens,  and  what,  to  ordinary 
mortals  had  proved  but  a  '  flat,  stale,  and  most  unprofitable '  quarter, 
presents  to  thee  all  the  accumulated  delight  of  a  hospitable  mansion, 


28  HARRY    LORREQUER.   ' 

a  kind,  almost  friendly  host,  a  condescending  Madame  Mere,  and 
daughters,  too!  Ah,  ye  Gods!  but  what  is  this?"  and  here,  for  the 
first  time,  lifting  up  my  eyes,  I  perceived  a  beautiful  water- color 
drawing  in  the  style  of  "Chalon,"  which  was  placed  above  the 
chimney-piece.  I  rose  at  once,  and  taking  a  candle,  proceeded  to  ex- 
amine it  more  minutely.  It  was  a  portrait  of  Lady  Jane,  a  full- 
length,  too,  and  wonderfully  like ;  there  was  more  complexion,  and 
perhaps  more  roundness  in  the  figure  than  her  present  appearance 
would  justify;  but  if  anything  was  gained  in  brilliancy,  it  was  cer- 
tainly lost  in  point  of  expression;  and  I  infinitely  preferred  her  pale 
but  beautifully  fair  countenance,  to  the  rosy  cheek  of  the  picture- 
the  figure  was  faultless;  the  same  easy  grace,  the  result  of  perfect 
symmetry  and  refinement  together  which  only  one  in  a  thousand  of 
even  handsome  girls  possess,  was  portrayed  to  the  life.  The  more 
I  looked,  the  more  I  felt  charmed  with  it.  Never  had  I  seen  any- 
thing so  truly  characteristic  as  this  sketch,  for  it  was  scarcely  more. 
It  was  after  nearly  an  hour's  quiet  contemplation,  that  I  began  to 
remember  the  lateness  of  the  night;  an  hour  in  which  my 
thoughts  had  rambled  from  the  lovely  object  before  me,  to  wonder 
at  the  situation  in  which  I  found  myself  placed;  for  there  was  so 
much  of  "  empressement "  toward  me,  in  the  manner  of  every  member 
of  the  family,  coupled  with  certain  mistakes  as  to  my  habits  and  ac- 
quaintances, as  left  me  perfectly  unable  to  unravel  the  mystery  which 
so  evidently  surrounded  me.  "  Perhaps,"  thought  I,  "  Sir  Guy  has 
written  in  my  behalf  to  his  lordship.  Oh,  he  would  never  do  any- 
thing half  so  civil.  "Well,  to  be  sure,  I  shall  astonish  them  at  head- 
quarters; they'll  not  believe  this.  I  wonder  if  Lady  Jane  saw  my 

Hamlet;'  for  they  landed  in  Cork  from  Bristol  about  that  time.  She 
is  indeed  a  most  beautiful  girl.  I  wish  I  were  a  marquis,  if  it  were 
only  for  her  sake.  Well,  my  Lord  Callonby,  you  may  be  a  very  wise 
man  in  the  house  of  Lords;  but,  I  would  just  ask,  is  it  exactly  pru- 
dent to  introduce  into  your  family,  on  terms  of  such  perfect  inti- 
macy, a  young,  fascinating,  well-looking  fellow  of  four-and-twentv 
albeit  only  a  subaltern,  with  two  such  daughters  as  you  have?  Pent 
etre  !  One  thing  is  certain—  /  have  no  cause  of  complaint ;  and  so, 
good  night,  Lady  Jane  "—and  with  these  words  I  fell  asleep,  to 
dream  of  the  deepest  blue  eyes,  and  the  most  melting  tones  that  ever 
reduced  poor  lieutenant  in  a  marching  regiment  to  curse  his  fate 
that  he  could  not  call  the  commander  of  the  forces  his  father. 

When  I  descended  to  the  breakfast-room,  I  found  the  whole  family 
assembled  in  a  group  around  Lord  Kilkee,  who  had  just  returned 
from  a  distant  part  of  the  county,  where  he  had  been  canvasshv 
the  electors,  and  spouting  patriotism  the  day  before.  He  was  giving 
an  account  of  his  progress  with  much  spirit  and  humor  as  I  entered, 
but,  on  seeing  me,  immediately  came  forward,  and  shook  hands  with 
me  like  an  old  acquaintance.  By  Lord  Callonby  and  the  ladies  I 
was  welcomed  also  with  much  courtesy  and  kindness,  and  some  slight 
badinage  passed  upon  my  sleeping,  in  what  Lord  Kilkee  called  the 

Picture  Gallery,"  which,  for  all  I  knew  to  the  contrary,  contained 
but  one  fair  portrait.  I  am  not  a  believer  in  Mesmer;  but  certainly 
there  must  have  been  some  influence  at  work— veiy  like  what  we 
hear  of  "  magnetism"— for  before  the  breakfast  was  concluded,  there 
seemed  at  once  to  spring  up  a  perfect  understanding  between  this 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  29 

family  and  myself,  which  made  me  feel  as  much  cTiez  mot,  as  I  had 
ever  done  in  my  life;  and  from  that  hour  I  may  date  an  intimacy 
•which  every  succeeding  day  but  served  to  increase. 

After  breakfast  Lord  Callonby  consigned  me  to  the  guidance  of 
his  son,  and  we  sallied  forth  to  deal  destruction  amongst  the  pheas- 
ants, with  which  the  preserves  were  stocked;  and  here  I  may  observe, 
en  passant,  that  with  the  single  exception  of  fox-hunting,  which 
was  ever  a  passion  with  me,  I  never  could  understand  that  inveterate 
pursuit  of  game  to  which  some  men  devote  themselves — thus,  grouse- 
shooting,  and  its  attendant  pleasures,  of  stumping  over  a  boggy 
mountain  from  daylight  till  dark,  never  had  much  attraction  for  me; 
and,  as  to  the  delights  of  widgeon  and  wild-duck  shooting,  when 
purchased  by  sitting  up  all  night  in  a  barrel,  with  your  eye  to  the 
bung,  I'll  none  of  it — no,  no!  give  me  shooting  or  angling  merely  as 
a  divertimento,  a  pleasant  interlude  between  breakfast  and  luncheon- 
time,  when,  consigning  your  Mantonto  a  corner,  and  the  gamekeeper 
"to  the  dogs,"  you  once  more  humanize  your  costume  to  take  a 
canter  with  the  daughters  of  the  house;  or,  if  the  day  look  lower- 
ingly,  a  match  of  billiards  with  the  men. 

I  have  ever  found  that  the  happiest  portions  of  existence  are  the 
most  difficult  to  chronicle.  We  may — nay,  we  must — impart  our 
miseries  and  annoyances  to  our  many  "  dear  friends,"  whose  forte  is 
sympathy  or  consolation — and  all  men  are  eloquent  on  the  subject  of 
their  woes;  not  so  with  their  joys;  some  have  a  miser-like  pleasure  in. 
hoarding  them  up  for  their  own  private  gratification ;  others — and 
they  are  prudent — feel  that  the  narrative  is  scarcely  agreeable  even  to 
their  best  friends ;  and  a  few,  of  whom  I  confess  myself  one,  are 
content  to  be  happy  without  knowing  why,  and  to  have  pleasant 
souvenirs  without  being  able  to  explain  them. 

Such  must  be  my  apology  for  not  more  minutely  entering  upon  an 
account  of  my  life  at  Callonby.  A  fortnight  had  now  seen  me 
enfance,  the  daily  companion  of  two  beautiful  girls  in  all  their  walks 
and  rides,  through  a  romantic,  unfrequented  country,  seeing  but  lit- 
tle of  the  other  members  of  the  family ;  the  gentlemen  being  entirely  oc- 
cupied by  their  election  tactics,  and  Lady  Callonby,  being  a  late  riser, 
seldom  appeared  before  the  dinner  hour.  There  was  not  a  cliff  upon 
the  bold  and  rocky  coast  we  did  not  climb,  not  a  cave  upon  the 
pebbly  beach  unvisited;  sometimes  my  fair  companions  would  bring 
a  volume  of  Metastasio  down  to  the  little  river  where  I  used  to  angle; 
and  the  "  gentle  craft"  was  often  abandoned  for  the  heart-thrilling 
verses  of  that  delightful  poet.  Yes,  many  years  have  passed  over, 
and  these  scenes  are  still  as  fresh  in  my  memory  as  though  they  had 
been  of  yesterday.  In  my  memory,  I  say,  as  for  thee 

"  Qui.sa  si  te 
Ti  several  di  me." 

At  the  end  of  three  weeks  the  house  became  full  of  company,  from 
the  garret  to  the  cellar.  Country  gentlemen  and  their  wives  and 
daughters  came  pouring  in,  on  every  species  of  conveyance  known 
since  the  flood ;  family  coaches,  which,  but  for  their  yellow  panels, 
might  have  been  mistaken  for  hearses,  and  high  barouches,  the 
"  entree"  to  which  was  accomplished  by  a  step-ladder,  followed  each 
other  in  what  appeared  a  never  ending  succession;  and  here  I  may 


30  IIAHKY    LOEltEQUEB. 

note  an  instance  of  the  anomalous  character  of  the  conveyances,  from 
an  incident  to  which  I  was  a  witness  at  the  time. 

Among  the  visitors  on  the  second  day  came  a  maiden  lady  from  the 
neighborhood  of  Ennistimon,  Miss  Elizabeth  O'Dowd,  the  last  of  a 
very  old  and  highly  respectable  family  in  the  county,  and  whose 
extensive  property,  thickly  studded  with  freeholders,  was  a  strong 
reason  for  her  being  paid  every  attention  in  Lord  Callonby's 
power  to  bestow.  Miss  Betty  O'Dowd — for  so  she  was  generally 
styled — was  the  very  personification  of  an  old  maid ;  stiff  as  a 
ramrod,  and  so  rigid  in  observance  of  the  properties  of  female  con- 
duct, that  in  the  estimation  of  the  Clare  gentry,  Diana  was  a  hoyden 
compared  to  her. 

Miss  Betty  lived,  as  I  have  said,  near  Ennistimon,  and  the  road 
from  thence  to  Callonby,  at  the  time  I  speak  of— it  was  before  31  r. 
Nimmo — was  as  like  the  bed  of  a  mountain  torrent  as  a  respectable 
highway;  there  were  holes  that  would  have  made  a  grave  for  any 
maiden  lady  within  fifty  miles ;  and  rocks  thickly  scattered,  enough 
to  prove  fatal  to  the  strongest  wheels  that  ever  issued  from  "  Hut- 
ton's."  Miss  O'Dowd  knew  this  well;  she  had  upon  one  occasion 
been  upset  in  traveling  it— and  a  slate-colored  silk  dress  bore  the  dye 
of  every  species  of  mud  and  mire  to  be  found  there,  for  many  a  year 
after  to  remind  her  of  her  misfortune,  and  keep  open  the  wound  of 
her  sorrow.  When,  therefore,  the  invitation  to  Callonby  arrived,  a 
grave  council  of  war  was  summoned  to  deliberate  upon  the  mode  of 
transit,  for  the  honor  could  not  be  declined,  "  coute  qui  coute."  The 
chariot  was  out  of  the  question;  Nicholas  declared  it  would  never 
reach  the  "  Moraan  Beg,"  as  the  first  precipice  was  called;  the  inside 
car  was  long  since  pronounced  unfit  for  hazardous  enterprise;  and  the 
only  resource  left  was  what  is  called  in  Hibernian  parlance  a  "  low- 
backed  car"— that  is,  a  car,  without  any  back  whatever,  it  being 
neither  more  nor  less  than  the  common  agricultural  conveyance  of 
the  country,  upon  which,  a  feather  bed  being  laid,  the  farmers'  wives 
and  daughters  are  generally  conveyed  to  fairs,  wakes,  and  stations, 
etc.  Putting  her  dignity,  if  not  in  her  pocket,  at  least  wherever  it 
could  be  most  easily  accommodated,  Miss  O'Dowd  placed  her  fair 
self,  in  all  the  plenitude  of  her  charms  and  the  grandeur  of  a  "  bran 
new  green  silk,"  a  "  little  off  the  grass,  and  on  the  bottle  "  (I  love  to 
be  particular),  upon  this  humble  voiture,  and  set  out  on  her  way,  if 
not  "  rejoicing,"  at  least  consoled  by  Nicholas  that  "  It  'id  be  black- 
dark  when  they  reached  the  house,  and  the  devil  a  one  'id  be  the 
wiser  than  if  she  came  in  a  coach  and  four."  Nicholas  was  ri^ht; 
it  was  perfectly  dark  on  their  arrival  at  Callonby,  and  Miss  O'Dowd 
having  dismounted  and  shaken  her  plumage — a  little  crumpled  by  her 
half  recumbent  position  for  eight  miles — appeared  in  the  drawing- 
room,  to  receive  the  most  courteous  attentions  from  Lady  Callonby, 
and  from  his  lordship  the  most  flattering  speeches  for  her  kindness  in 
risking  herself  and  bringing  her  horses  on  such  a  dreadful  road,  and 
assured  her  of  his  getting  a  presentment  the  very  next  assi/x-s  to  re- 
pair it;  "for  we  intend,  Miss  O'Dowd,"  said  he,  "to  be  most 
troublesome  neighbors  to  you  in  future." 

^  The  evening  passed  off  most  happily.  Miss  O'Dowd  was  de- 
lighted with  her  hosts,  whose  character  she  resolved  to  maintain  in 
spite  of  their  reputation  for  pride  and  haughtiness.  Lady  Jane  sang 


HARRY    LOHREQUEK.  31 

an  Irish  melody  for  her,  Lady  Callonby  gave  her  slips  of  a  rose 
geranium  she  got  from  the  Princess  Augusta,  and  Lord  Kilkee  won 
hsr  heart  by  the  performance  of  that  most  graceful  step  'yclept 
"  cover  the  buckle  "  in  an  Irish  jig.  But,  alas!  how  short-lived  is 
human  bliss ;  for  while  this  estimable  lady  reveled  in  the  full  enjoy- 
ment of  the  hour,  the  sword  of  Damocles  hung  suspended  above  her 
head ;  in  plain  English,  she  had,  on  arriving  at  Callonby,  to  prevent 
any  unnecessary  scrutiny  into  the  nature  of  her  conveyance,  ordered 
Nicholas  to  be  at  the  door  punctually  at  eleven;  and  then  take  an 
opportunity  of  quietly  slipping  open  the  drawing-room  door,  and 
giving  her  an  intimation  of  it,  that  she  might  take  her  leave  at  once. 
Nicholas  was  up  to  time,  and  having  disposed  the  conveyance  under 
the  shadow  of  the  porch,  he  made  his  way  to  the  door  of  the  draw- 
ing-room unseen  and  unobserved.  He  opened  it  gently  and  noise- 
lessly, merely  sufficient  to  take  a  survey  of  the  apartment,  in  which, 
from  the  glare  of  the  lights,  and  the  busy  hum  of  voices,  he  was  so 
bewildered  that  it  was  some  minutes  before  he  recognized  his  mistress. 
At  last  he  perceived  her;  she  was  seated  at  a  card-table,  playing 
whist  with  Lord  Callonby  for  her  partner.  Who  the  other  players 
were,  he  knew  not.  A  proud  man  was  Nicholas,  as  he  saw  his  mis- 
tress thus  placed,  actually  sitting  as  he  afterward  expressed  it,  "fore- 
nint  the  lord,"  but  his  thoughts  were  bent  on  other  matters,  and  it 
was  no  time  to  indulge  his  vauatings. 

He  strove  for  some  time  patiently,  to  catch  her  eye,  for  she  was  so 
situated  as  to  permit  of  this,  but  without  success.  He  then  made  a 
slight  attempt  to  attract  her  attention,  by  beckoning  with  his  finger; 
all  in  vain.  "  O  murther,"  said  he,  "  what  is  this  for?  I'll  have  to 
spake  afther  all. "  -. 

"  Four  by  honors,"  said  his  lordship,  "  and  the  odd  trick.  An- 
other double,  I  believe,  Miss  O'Dowd." 

Miss  O'Dowd  nodded  a  graceful  assent,  while  a  sharp-looking  old 
dowager  at  the  side  of  the  table  called  out,  "  a  rubber  of  four  on, 
my  lord,"  and  now  began  an  explanation  from  the  whole  party  at 
once.  Nicholas  saw  this  was  his  time,  and  thought  that  in  the 
melee  his  hint  might  reach  his  mistress  unobserved  by  the  remainder 
of  the  company  He  accordingly  protruded  his  head,  into  the  room, 
and  placing  his  finger  upon  the  side  of  his  nose,  and  shutting  one 
eye  knowingly,  with  an  air  of  great  secrecy,  whispered  out,  "  Miss 
Betty — Miss  Betty,  alanah!"  For  some  minutes  the  hum  of  the 
voices  drowned  his  admonitions — but,  as  by  degrees  waxing  warmer 
in  the  cause,  he  called  out  more  loudly — every  eye  was  turned  to  the 
spot  from  whence  these  extraordinary  sounds  proceeded,  and  certainly 
the  appearance  of  Nicholas  at  that  moment  was  well  calculated  to 
astonish  the  "  elegans"  of  a  drawing-room.  "With  his  one  eye 
fixed  eagerly  in  the  direction  of  his  mistress,  his  red  scratch  wig 
pushed  back  off  his  forehead,  in  the  eagerness  of  his  endeavor  to  be 
heard,  there  he  stood,  perfectly  unmindful  of  all  around,  save  Miss 
O'Dowd  herself.  It  may  well  be  believed,  that  such  an  apparition 
could  not  be  witnessed  with  gravity,  and,  accordingly,  a  general  tit< 
ter  ran  through  the  room,  the  whist  party,  still  contending  about  odd 
tricks  and  honors,  being  the  only  persons  insensible  to  the  mirth 
around  them—"  Miss  Betty,  arrah,  Miss  Betty,"  said  Nicholas,  with 


32  HAKRY    LORREQUEB. 

a  sigh  that  converted  the  subdued  laughter  of  the  guests  into  a  per. 
feet  burst  of  mirth. 

"Eh,"  said  his  lordship,  turning  round,  "what  is  this?  we  are 
losing  something  excellent,  I  fear." 

At  this  moment  he  caught  a  glimpse  of  Nicholas,  and,  throwing 
himself  back  in  his  chair,  laughed  immoderately.  It  was  now  Miss 
Betty's  turn;  she  was  about  to  rise  from  the  table,  when  the  well- 
known  accents  of  Nicholas  fell  upon  her  ear.  She  fell  back  in  her 
seat — there  he  was ;  the  messenger  of  the  foul  fiend  himself  would 
have  been  more  welcome  at  that  moment.  Her  blood  rushed  to  her 
face  and  temples;  her  hands  tingled;  she  closed  her  eyes,  and  when 
she  opened  them  there  stood  the  accursed  Nicholas  glowering  at  her 
still. 

"  Man — man!"  said  she  at  length;  "  what  do  you  mean,  what  do 
you  want  here?" 

Poor  Nicholas,  little  guessing  that  the  question  was  intended  to 
throw  a  doubt  upon  her  acquaintance  with  him,  and  conceiving  that 
the  hour  for  the  announcement  had  come,  hesitated  for  an  instant, 
how  he  should  designate  the  conveyance.  He  could  not  call  it  a 
coach !  it  certainly  was  not  a  buggy — neither  was  it  a  jaunting  car — 
what  should  he  say — he  looked  earnestly,  and  even  imploringly  at 
his  mistress,  as  if  to  convey  some  sense  of  his  difficulty,  and  then,  as 
it  were,  catching  a  sudden  inspiration,  winked  once  more,  as  he  said : 

"  Miss  Betty — the — the — the — "  and  here  he  looked  indescribably 
droll;  "  the  thing,  you  know,  is  at  the  door." 

All  his  lordship's  politeness  was  too  little  for  the  occasion,  and 
Miss  O'Dowd's  tenantry  were  lost  to  the  Callonby  interest  for  ever. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

BOTANICAL  STUDIES — THE  NATURAL  SYSTEM    PREFERABLE  TO  THJE 
LINN^EAN. 

"  THE  carriage  is  at  the  door,  my  lord,"  said  a  servant,  entering 
the  luncheon-room  where  we  w^re  all  assembled. 

"Now  then,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  Lord  Callonby,  "  allon»,  take 
another  glass  of  wine,  and  let  us  away.  I  expect  you  to  make  a  most 
brilliant  speech,  remember!" 

His  lordship  here  alluded  to  our  intention  of  visiting  a  remote 
barony,  where  a  meeting  of  the  freeholders  was  that  day  to  be  held, 
and  at  which  I  was  pledged  for  a  "  neat  and  appropriate  "  oration 
in  abuse  of  the  corn  laws  and  the  holy  alliance. 

"  I  beg  pardon,  my  lord,"  said  her  ladyship,  in  a  most  languishing 
tone,  "  but  Mr.  Lorrequer  is  pre-engaged;  he  has  for  the  last  week 
been  promising  and  deferring  his  visit  to  the  new  conservatory  with 
me;  where  he  is  to  find  out  four  or  five  of  the  Swiss  shrubs  that 
Collins  cannot  make  out — and  which  I  am  dying  to  know  all  about." 

"  Mr.  Lorrequer  is  a  false  man  then,"  said  Lady  Catherine,  "  for 
he  said  at  breakfast,  that  we  should  devote  this  afternoon  to  the 
chalk  caves — as  the  tide  will  be  so  far  out,  we  can  see  them  all  per- 
fectly." 

"  And  I,"  said  Lord  Kilkee,  "  must  put  in  my  plea  that  the  afore 


HARRY    LOKREQUER.  35 

gaid  Mr.  Lorrequer  is  booked  for  a  coursing  match — '  Mouclie  versug 
Jessie.'  Guilty  or  not  guilty?" 

Lady  Jane  alone  of  all  said  not  a  word. 

"  Guilty  on  every  count  of  the  indictment,"  said  I;  "I  throw  my- 
self on  the  mercy  of  the  court." 

"  Let  his  sentence  then  be  banishment,"  said  Lady  Catherine,  with 
affected  anger,  "  and  let  him  go  with  papa." 

"  I  rather  think,"  said  Lord  Kilkee,  "  the  better  plan  is  to  let  him 
visit  the  conservatory,  for  I'd  wager  a  fifty  he  finds  it  more  difficult 
to  invent  botany,  than  canvass  freeholders;  eh?" 

"  I  am  sure,"  said  Lady  Jane,  for  the  first  tune  breaking  silence, 
"  that  mamma  is  infinitely  flattered  by  the  proposal  that  Mr.  Lorre- 
quer's  company  is  to  be  conferred  upon  her  for  his  sins." 

"  I  am  not  to  be  affronted,  nor  quizzed  out  of  my  chaperon:  here, 
Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  Lady  Callonby,  rising,  "get  Smith's  book 
there,  and  let  me  have  your  arm;  and  now,  young  ladies,  come 
along,  and  learn  something,  if  you  can." 

"An  admirable  proviso,"  said  Lord  Kilkee,  laughing;  "if  his 
botany  be  only  as  authentic  as  the  autographs  he  gave  Mrs.  Mac- 
Dermot,  and  all  of  which  he  wrote  himself  in  my  dressing-room  in 
half  an  hour.  Napoleon  was  the  only  difficult  one  in  the  number." 

Most  fortunately  this  unfair  disclosure  did  not  reach  her  ladyship's 
ears,  as  she  was  busily  engaged  putting  on  her  bonnet,  and  I  was  yet 
uuassailed  in  reputation  to  her. 

"  Good- by,  then,"  said  Lord  Callonby;  "  we  meet  at  seven;"  and 
in  a  few  moments  the  little  party  were  scattered  to  their  "several 
destinations. 

"  How  very  hot  you  have  this  place,  Collins,"  said  Lady  Callonby, 
as  we  entered  the  conservatory. 

"  Only  seventy-five,  my  lady,  and  the  Magnolias  require  heat." 

I  here  dropped  a  little  behind,  as  if  to  examine  a  plant,  and  in  a 
half  whisper  said  to  Lady  Jane : 

"How  came  it  that  you  alone,  Lady  Jane,  should  forget  I  had 
made  another  appointment?  I  thought  you  wished  to  make  a  sketch 
of  Craigmorgan  Abbey — did  you  forget  that  we  were  to  ridb  there 
to-day?" 

Before  she  could  reply,  Lady  Callonby  called  out:  "  Oh,  here  it  is, 
Mr.  Lorrequer.  Is  this  a  heath?  that  is  the  question." 

Here  her  ladyship  pointed  to  a  little  scrubby  thing,  that  looked 
very  like  a  birch  rod.  I  proceeded  to  examine  it  most  minutely, 
while  Collins  waited  with  all  the  intense  anxiety  of  a  man  whos« 
character  depended  on  the  sentence. 

"  Collins  will  have  it  a  Jungermania,"  said  she. 

"  And  Collins  is  right,"  said  I,  not  trusting  myself  with  the  pro- 
nunciation of  the  awful  word  her  ladyship  uttered. 

Collins  looked  ridiculously  happy. 

"  Now  that  is  so  delightful,"  said  Lady  Callonby,  as  she  stopped 
to  look  for  another  puzzle. 

"  What  a  wretch  it  is,"  said  Lady  Catherine,  covering  her  face 
with  a  handkerchief. 

"  What  a  beautiful  little  flower,"  said  Lady  Jane,  lifting  up  the 
a  "  lobelia  splendens." 


34  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

"  You  know,  of  course,"  said  I,  "  what  they  call  that  flower  in 
France — L 'amour  tendre. " 

"  Indeed!" 

"  True,  I  assure  you;  may  I  present  you  with  a  sprig  of  it?"  cut- 
ting off  a  small  twig,  and  presenting  it  at  the  same  instant  unseen  by 
the  others. 

She  hesitated  for  an  instant,  and  then  extending  her  fair  and  taper 
Land  took  it.  I  dared  not  look  at  her  as  she  did  so,  but  a  proud 
swelling  triumph  at  my  heart  nearly  choked  me. 

"  Now,  Collins,"  said  Lady  Callonby,  "  I  cannot  find  the  Alpen 
tree  I  brought  from  the  Grundenwald. " 

Collins  hurried  forward  to  her  ladyship's  side. 

Lady  Catherine  was  also  called  to  assist  in  the  search. 

I  was  alone  with  Lady  Jane. 

''Now  or  never,"  thought  I;    I    hesitated— I    stammered— my 
voice  faltered.     She  saw  my  agitation;  she  participated  in,  and  in- 
creased it.     At  last  I  summoned  up  my  courage  to  touch  her  hand; 
she  gently  withdrew  it — but  so  gently,  it  was  not  a  repulse. 
If,  Lady  Jane,"  said  I  at  length,  "  if  the  devoted " 

"  Holloa,  there,"  said  a  deep  voice  without:  "  is  Mr.  Lorreouer 
there?" 

It  was  Lord  Kilkee  returned  from  his  coursing  match.  None  but 
he  who  has  felt  such  an  interruption,  can  feel  for  me.  I  shame  to 
say  that  his  brotherhood  to  her  for  whom  I  would  have  periled  my 
life,  restrained  me  not  from  something  like  a  very  hearty  commen- 
dation»of  him  to  the  powers  that  burn 

"Down,  dogs,  there — down,"  continued  he,  and  in  a  moment 
after  entered  the  conservatory  flushed  and  heated  with  the  chase. 

"  Mouche  is  the  winner— two  to  one— and  so,  Master  Shallow,  I 
owe  you  a  thousand  pounds." 

Would  to  heaven  that  I  had  lost  the  wager,  had  it  only  taken  a 
little  longer  to  decide  it!  I  of  course  appeared  overjoyed  at  my  dog's 
success,  and  listened  with  great  pretense  of  interest  to  the  narrative 
of  the  "  run;"  the  more  so,  because  that  though  perhaps  more  my 
friend  than  the  elder  members  of  the  family,  Lord  Kilkee  evidently 
liked  less  than  them  my  growing  intimacy  with  his  sister;  and  I 
was  anxious  to  blind  him  on  the  present  occasion,  when,  but  for  his 
recent  excitement,  very  little  penetration  would  have  enabled  him  to 
detect  that  something  unusual  had  taken  place. 

It  was  now  so  nearly  dark,  that  her  ladyship's  further  search  for 
the  alpine  treasure  became  impossible  and  so  we  turned  our  steps 
toward  the  garden,  where  we  continued  to  walk  till  joined  by  Lord 
Callonby.  And  now  began  a  most  active  discussion  upon  agricult- 
ure, rents,  tithes,  and  toryism,  in  which  the  ladies  took  but  little 
part;  and  I  had  the  mortification  to  perceive  that  Lady  Jane  was  ex- 
cessively ennuyee,  and  seized  the  first  opportunity  to  leave  the  party 
and  return  to  the  house;  while  her  sister  gave  me  from  time  to  time 
certain  knowing  glances,  as  if  intimating  that  my  knowledge  of 
farming  and  political  economy  was  pretty  much  on  a  par  with  my 
proficiency  in  botany. 

One  has  discovered  me  at  least,  thought  I;  but  the  bell  had  rung 
to  dress  for  dinner,  and  I  hastened  to  my  room  to  think  over  future 


HAKRY    LORREQUER.  35 

plans,  and  once  more  wonder  at  the  singular  position  into  which  fate 
and  the  "  rules  of  the  service  "  had  thrown  me. 


CHAPTER  V. 

PUZZLED—  EXPLANATION — MAKES  BAD  WOKSE — THE  DUEL. 

"  ANY  letters?"  said  her  ladyhip  to  a  servant,  as  she  crossed  the 
hall. 

"  Only  one,  my  lady — for  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  believe." 
"For  me,"  thought  I;  "how  is  this?"  My  letters  had  been 
hitherto  always  left  in  Kilrush.  Why  was  this  forwarded  here?  I 
hurried  to  the  drawing-room,  where  I  found  a  double  letter  awaiting 
me.  The  writing  was  Oumm's,  and  contained  the  words  "to  be 
forwarded  with  haste  "  on  the  direction.  I  opened  and,  read  as 
follows: 

"  DEAR  LORREQUEB, — Have  you  any  recollection,  among  your 
numerous  '  escapades  '  at  Cork,  of  having  grievously  insulted  a  Mr. 
Giles  Beamish,  in  thought,  word,  or  deed?  If  you  have,  I  say,  let 
me  know  with  all  convenient  dispatch,  whither  the  offense  be  one 
admitting  of  apology — for  if  not  the  Lord  have  mercy  on  your  soul 
— a  more  wrothy  gentleman  than  the  aforesaid  it  having  rarely  been 
my  evil  fortune  to  foregather  with.  He  called  here  yesterday  to  in- 
quire your  address,  and  at  my  suggestion  wrote  a  note,  which  I  now 
enclose.  I  write  in  great  haste,  and  am  yours  ever  faithfully, 

"  C.  CURZON. 

"  N.B. — I  have  not  seen  his  note,  so  explain  all  and  everything." 

The  enclosed  letter  ran  thus: 

"  SIR, — It  can  scarcely  have  escaped  your  memory,  though  now 
nearly  two  months  since,  that  at  the  Mayor's  dejuner  in  Cork  you  were 
pleased  to  make  merry  at  my  expense,  and  expose  me  and  my  family 
for  your  amusement.  This  is  to  demand  an  immediate  apology,  or 
that  satisfaction  which,  as  an  officer,  you  will  not  refuse  your  most 
obedient  servant.  GILES  BEAMISH." 

"  Swinburne  Hotel." 

"  Giles  Beamish!  Giles  Beamish!"  said  I,  repealing  the  name  in 
every  variety  of  emphasis,  hoping  to  obtain  some  clew  to  the  writer. 
1  lad  I  been  appointed  the  umpire  between  Dr.  Wall  and  his  reviewers 
in  the  late  controversy  about  "  phonetic  signs, "  I  could  not  have  been 
more  completely  puzzled  than  by  the  contents  of  this  note.  ' '  Make 
merry  at  his  expense!"  a  great  offense  truly — I  suppose  I  have 
laughed  at  better  men  than  ever  he  was ;  and  I  can  only  say  of  such 
innocent  amusement,  as  Falstaff  did  of  sack  and  sugar,  if  such  be  a 
sin,  "  then  heaven  help  the  wicked."  But  I  wish  1  knew  who  he 
is,  or  what  he  alludes  to,  provided  he  is  not  mad,  which  1  begin  to 
think  not  improbable.  "  By  the  bye,  my  lord,  do  you  know  any  such 
person  in  the  south  as  a  Mr.  Beamish — Giles  Beamish?" 

"To  be  sure,"  said  Lord  Callonby,  looking  up  from  his  news- 
paper, "  there  are  several  of  the  name  of  the  highest  respectability 


36  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

One  is  an  alderman  of  Cork — a  very  rich  man,  too— but  1  don't  re- 
member his  Christian  name." 
"  An  alderman,  did  you  say?" 

"  Yes.  Alderman  Beamish  is  very  well  known.  I  have  seen  him 
frequently — a  short,  florid,  little  man." 

"  Oh,  it  must  be  him,"  said  I,  musingly;  "  it  must  have  been  this 
worthy  alderman,  from  whose  worshipful  person  I  tore  the  robe  of 
office  on  the  night  of  the  fSte.  But  what  does  he  mean  by  '  my  ex- 
posing him  and  his  family?'  Why,  zounds,  his  wife  and  children 
were  not  with  him  on  the  pavement.  Oh,  I  see  it,  it  is  the  mansion- 
house  school  of  eloquence;  did  not  Sir  William  Curtis  apologize  for 
not  appealing  at  court,  from  having  lost  an  eye,  which  he  designated 
as  an  awful '  domestic  calamity.' ' 

It  being  now  settled  to  my  satisfaction  that  Mr.  Beamish  and  the 
great  uncloaked  were  "  convertible  terms,"  I  set  about  making  the 
amende'm  the  most  handsome  manner  possible.  I  wrote  to  the  alder- 
man a  most  pacific  epistle,  regretting  that  my  departure  from  Cork 
deprived  me  of  making  reparation  before,  and  expressing  a  most 
anxious  hope  that  "  he  caught  no  cold,"  and  a  fervent  wish  That  "  he 
would  live  many  years  to  grace  and  ornament  the  dignity  of  which 
his  becoming  costume  was  the  emblem."  This  I  inclosed  in  a  note 
to  Curzon,  telling  him  how  the  matter  occurred,  and  requesting  that 
he  would  send  it  by  his  servant,  together  with  the  scarlet  vestment, 
which  he  would  find  in  my  dressing-room.  Having  folded  and 
sealed  this  despatch,  I  turned  to  give  Lord  Callonby  an  account  of 
the  business,  and  snowed  him  Beamish's  note,  at  which  he  was 
greatly  amused;  and,  indeed,  it  furnished  food  for  mirth  for  the 
whole  party  during  the  evening.  The  next  morning  I  set  out  with 
Lord  Callonby  on  the  long-threatened  canvassing  expedition — with 
the  details  of  which  I  need  not  burden  my  "  Confessions."  Su*Sce 
it  to  say,  that  when  Lord  Kilkec  was  advocating  Toryism  in  the 
west,  I,  his  accredited  embassador,  was  devoting  to  the  infernal  gods 
the  prelacy,  the  peerage,  and  the  pension  list — a  mode  of  canvass 
well  worthy  of  imitation  in  these  troublesome  times ;  for,  not  to  speak 
of  the  great  prospect  of  success  from  having  friends  on  both  sides  of 
the  question,  the  principal  can  always  divest  himself  of  any  unpleas- 
ant consequences  as  regards  inconsistency,  by  throwing  the  blame 
on  his  friend,  "  who  went  too  far,"  as  the  appropriate  phrase  is. 

Nothing  could  be  more  successful  than  our  mission.  Lord  Callon- 
by was  delighted  beyond  bounds  with  the  prospect,  and  so  complete- 
ly carried  away  by  high  spirits,  and  so  perfectly  assured  that  much 
of  it  was  owing  to  my  exertions,  that  on  the  second  morning  of  our 
tour — for  we  proceeded  through  the  country  for  three  days — he  came 
laughing  into  my  dressing-room  with  a  newspaper  in  his  hand. 

"  Here,  Lorrequer, "  said  he,  "  here's  news  for  you.     You  certain- 

Smust  read  this;"   and  he  handed  me  a  copy  of   the  "  Clare 
erald,"  with  an  account  of  our  meeting  the  evening  before. 
After  glancing  my  eye  rapidly  over  the  routine  usual  in  such  cases 
— Humph,  ha — nearly  two  Hundred  people — most  respectable  farmers 
— room   appropriately  decorated — "Callonby  Arms" — "after  the 
usual  loyal  toasts,  the  chairman  rose  " — Well,  no  matter.    Ah!  here 
It  is:  "  Mr.  Lorrequer  here  addressed  the  meeting  with  a  flow  of  elo- 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  87 

quence  It  has  rarely,  if  ever,  been  our  privilege  to  hear  equaled.    He 

began  by  " — humph 

Ah,"  said  his  lordship,  impatiently,  "  you  will  never  find  it  out 
— look — here— 'Mr.  Lorrequer,  whom  we  have  mentioned  as  having 
made  the  highly  exciting  speech,  to  be  found  on  our  first  page,  is, 
we  understand,  the  son  of  Sir  Guy  Lorrequer,  of  Elton,  in  Shrop- 
shire— one  of  the  wealthiest  baronets  in  England.  If  rumor  speak 
truly,  there  is  a  very  near  prospect  of  an  alliance  between  this 
talented  and  promising  young  gentleman  and  the  beautiful  and  ac- 
complished daughter  of  a  certain  noble  earl,  with  whom  he  has  been 
for  some  time  domesticated. ' 

"Eh,  what  think  you?  Son  of  Sir  Guy  Lorrequer.  I  always 
thought  my  old  friend  a  bachelor,  but  you  see  the  '  Clare  Herald  ' 
knows  better.  Not  to  speak  of  the  last  piece  of  intelligence,  it  ia 
very  good,  is  it  not?" 

"  Capital,  indeed,"  said  I,  trying  to  laugh,  and  at  the  same  tune 
blushing  confoundedly,  and  looking  as  ridiculously  as  need  be. 

It  now  struck  me  forcibly  that  there  was  something  extremely  odd 
in  his  lordship's  mention  of  this  paragraph,  particularly  when 
coupled  with  his  and  Lady  Callonby's  manner  to  me  for  the  last  two 
months.  They  knew  enough  of  my  family,  evidently,  to  be  aware 
of  my  station  and  prospects — or  rather  my  want  of  both — and  yet,  in 
the  face  of  this,  they  not  only  encouraged  me  to  prolong  a  most  de- 
lightful visit,  but  by  a  thousand  daily  and  dangerous  opportunities, 
absolutely  threw  me  in  the  way  of  one  of  the  loveliest  of  her  sex, 
seemingly  without  fear  on  their  parts.  "  Eh  bien,"  thought  I,  with 
my  old  philosophy.  "Time,  that  'pregnant  old  gentleman/  will 
disclose  all,  and  so  laisse  aller." 

My  reveries  on  my  good  and  evil  fortune  were  suddenly  inter- 
rupted by  a  letter  which  reached  me  that  evening,  having  been  for- 
warded from  Callonby  by  a  special  messenger.  "  What,  another 
epistle  from  Curzon,"  said  I,  as  my  eye  caught  the  address,  and 
wondering  not  a  little  what  pressing  emergency  had  called  forth  the 
words  on  the  cover — "  to  be  forwarded  with  haste,"  I  eagerly  broke 
the  seal  and  read  the  following: 

"  MY  DEAR  HARRY, — I  received  yours  on  the  llth,  and  immedi- 
ately dispached  your  note  and  the  raiment  to  Mr.  Beamish.  He  was 
from  home  at  the  time,  but  at  eight  o'clock  I  was  sent  for  from  the 
mess  to  see  two  gentlemen  on  most  pressing  business.  I  hurried  to 
my  quarters,  and  there  found  the  aforesaid  Mr.  B. ,  accompanied  by 
a  friend,  whom  he  introduced  as  Dr.  De  Courcy  Finucane,  of  the 
North  Cork  Militia — as  warlike  looking  a  gentleman  of  his  inches, 
some  five  feet  three,  as  you  would  wish  to  see.  The  moment  I  ap- 
peared, both  rose,  and  commenced  a  narrative,  for  such  I  judge  it 
to  be,  but  so  energetically  and  so  completely  together,  that  I  could 
only  bow  politely,  and  at  last  request  that  one  or  the  other  would  in- 
form me  of  the  object  of  their  visit.  Here  began  the  tug  of  war,  the 

doctor  saying,  '  Arrah,  now  Giles '    Mr.  Beamish  interrupting 

by,  '  Whist,  I  tell  ye— now,  can't  you  let  me?  Ye  see,  Mr.  Cur- 
zoin '  for  so  they  both  agreed  to  designate  me.  At  last,  com- 
pletely worn  out,  I  said,  '  Perhaps  you  have  not  received  my  friend's 
note?r  At  this  Mr.  Beamish  reddened  to  the  eyes,  and  with  the 


38  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

greatest  volubility  poured  forth  a  flood  of  indignant  eloquence, 
that  I  thought  it  necessary  to  check ;  but  in  this  I  failed,  for 
after  informing  me  pretty  clearly  that  he  knew  nothing  of  youi 
story  of  the  alderman,  or  his  cloak,  added  that  he  firmly  believed 
your  pretended  reparation  was  only  a  renewed  insult,  and  that — - 
but  in  a  word,  lie  used  such  language,  that  I  was  compelled  to  take 
him  short;  and  the  finale  is,  that  I  agreed  you  should  meet  him, 
though  still  ignorant  of  what  he  calls  the  '  original  offense. '  But 
heaven  knows, 'his  conduct  here  last  night  demands  a  reprimand,  and 
I  hope  you  may  give  it ;  and  if  you  shoot  him,  we  may  worm  out 
the  secret  from  his  executors.  Nothing  could  exceed  the  politeness 
of  the  parties  on  my  consenting  to  this  arrangement.  Dr.  Finucane 
proposed  Carrigaholt  as  the  rendezvous,  about  twelve  miles,  I  believe, 
from  Kilrush,  and  Tuesday  evening  at  six  as  the  tune,  which  will  be 
the  very  earliest  moment  we  can  arrive  there.  So,  pray  be  up  to 
time,  and  believe  me  yours,  C.  CUBZON. 

"  Saturday  evening." 

It  was  late  on  Monday  evening  when  this  letter  reached  me,  and 
there  was  no  time  to  be  lost,  as  I  was  then  about  forty  Irish  miles 
from  the  place  mentioned  by  Curzon ;  so  after  briefly  acquainting 
Lord  Callonby  that  I  was  called  off  by  duty,  I  hurried  to  my  room 
to  pack  my  clothes,  and  again  read  over  this  extraordinary  epistle. 

I  confess  it  did  appear  something  droll,  how  completely  Curzon 
seemed  to  imbibe  the  passion  for  fighting  from  these  "  blood-thirsty 
Irishmen."  For  by  his  own  showing  he  was  utterly  ignorant  of  my 
ever  having  offended  this  Mr.  Beamish,  of  whom  I  recollected 
nothing  whatever.  Yet  when  the  gentleman  waxes  wrothy,  rather 
than  inconvenience  him,  or  perhaps  anxious  to  get  back  to  the  mess, 
he  coolly  says,  "  O,  my  friend  shall  meet  you:  and  then  his  pleas- 
ant jest,  "  find  out  the  cause  of  quarrel  from  his  executors!" 

Truly,  thought  I,  there  is  no  equanimity  like  his  who  acts  as  your 
second  in  a  duel.  The  gentlemanlike  urbanity  with  which  he  waits 
on  the  opposite  friends  —  the  conciliating  tone  with  which  he 
proffers  implacable  enmity — the  killing  kindness  with  which  he  re- 
fuses all  accommodation — the  Talleyrand  air  of  his  short  notes  dated 
from  the  "  Travelers,"  or  "  Brookes,"  with  the  words  3  o'clock  or 
5  o'clock  on  the  cover,  all  indicative  of  the  friendly  precipitancy  of 
the  negotiation.  Then,  when  all  is  settled,  the  social  style  with 
which  he  asks  you  take  a  "  cutlet  "  with  him  at  the  "  Clarendon," 
not  to  go  home — are  only  to  be  equaled  by  the  admirable  tact  on  the 
ground — the  studiously  elegant  salute  to  the  adverse  party,  half  a  la 
Napoleon,  and  half  Beau  Brummell — the  politely  offered  snuff-bor 
-^the  coquetting  raillery  about  ten  paces  or  twelve — are  certainly  the 
beau  ideal  of  the  stoicism  which  preludes  sending  your  friend  out 
of  the  world  like  a  gentleman. 

How  very  often  is  the  face  of  external  nature  at  variance  with  the 
thoughts  and  actions — "  the  sayings  and  doings  "  we  may  be  most 
intent  upon  at  the  moment.  How  many  a  gay  and  brilliant  bridal 
party  ha?  wended  its  way  to  St.  George's,  Hanover-square,  amid  a 
down-pour  of  rain,  one  would  suppose  sufficient  to  quench  the  torch 
of  Hymen,  though  it  burned  as  brightly  as  Captain  Drummond's 
oxygen  light;  and  on  the  other  hand,  how  frequently  are  the  bluest 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  89 

azure  of  heaven  and  the  most  balmy  airs  shed  upon  the  heart  burst- 
ing with  affection,  or  the  head  bowed  with  grief;  and  without  any 
desire  to  impugn,  as  much  higher  authority  has  done,  the  moral 
character  of  the  moon,  how  many  a  scene  of  blood  and  rapine  has 
its  mild  radiance  illumined.  Such  reflections  as  these  came  throng- 
ing to  my  mind,  as  on  the  afternoon  of  Tuesday  I  neared  the  little 
village  of  our  rendezvous.  The  scene  which  in  all  its  peaceful 
beauty  lay  before  me,  was  truly  a  bitter  contrast  to  the  occasion  that 
led  me  thither.  I  stood  upon  a  little  peninsula  which  separates  the 
Shannon  from  the  wide  Atlantic.  On  one  side  the  placid  river 
flowed  on  its  course,  between  the  fields  of  waving  corn,  or  rich  past- 
urage— the  beautiful  island  of  Scattery,  with  its  picturesque  ruins 
reflected  in  the  unrippled  tide— the  cheerful  voices  of  the  reapers, 
and  the  merry  laugh  of  the  children  were  mingled  with  the  seamen's 
cry  of  the  sailors,  who  were  "  heaving  short "  on  their  anchor,  to  take 
the  evening  tide.  The  village,  which  consisted  of  merely  a  few  small 
cabins,  was  still  from  its  situation  a  pleasing  object  in  the  picture, 
and  the  blue  smoke  that  rose  in  slender  columns  from  the  humble 
dwellings,  took  from  the  scene  its  character  of  loneliness,  and  sug- 
gested feelings  of  home  and  homely  enjoyments,  which  human 
habitations,  however  lowly,  never  fail  to  do. 

"  At  any  other  time,"  thought  I,  "  and  how  I  could  have  enjoyed 
all  this,  but  now — and  ha,  I  find  it  is  already  past  five  o'clock,  and 
if  I  am  rightly  informed  I  am  still  above  a  mile  from  '  Carrigaholt,' 
where  we  were  to  meet. ' ' 

I  had  dismissed  my  conveyance  when  nearing  the  village,  to  avoid 
observation,  and  now  took  a  foot-path  over  the  hills.  Before  I  had 
proceeded  half  a  mile,  the  scene  changed  completely.  I  found  my- 
self traversing  a  small  glen,  grown  over  with  a  low  oak  scrub,  and 
not  presenting  on  any  side,  the  slightest  trace  of  habitation.  I  saw 
that  the  ground  had  been  selected  by  an  adept.  The  glen,  which 
grew  narrow  as  I  advanced,  suddenly  disclosed  to  my  view  a  glimpse 
of  the  Atlantic,  upon  which  the  declining  sun  was  pouring  a  flood  of 
purple  glory.  I  had  scarcely  turned  from  the  contemplation  of  this 
beautiful  object  when  a  long  low  whistle  attracted  my  attention.  I 
looked  in  the  direction  from  whence  it  proceeded,  and  discovered  at 
some  distance  from  me  three  figures  standirfg  beside  the  ruin  of  an 
old  Abbey,  which  I  now  for  the  first  time  perceived. 

If  I  had  entertained  any  doubt  as  to  who  they  were,  it  had  been 
speedily  resolved,  for  I  now  saw  one  of  the  party  waving  his  hat  to 
me,  whom  I  soon  recognized  to  be  Curzon ;  he  came  forward  to  meet 
me,  and,  in  the  few  hundred  yards  that  intervened  before  our  reach- 
ing the  others,  told  me  as  much  as  he  knew  of  the  opposite  party; 
which,  after  all,  was  but  little.  Mr.  Beamish,  my  adversary,  he  de- 
scribed as  a  morose,  fire-eating  southern,  that  evidently  longed  for  an 
"  affair  "  with  a  military  man,  then  considered  a  circumstance  of 
some  eclat  in  the  south;  his  second,  the  doctor,  on  the  contrary, 
was  by  far  "  the  best  of  the  cut-throats,"  a  most  amusing  little  per- 
sonage, full  of  his  own  importance,  and  profuse  in  his  legends  of 
his  own  doings  in  love  and  war,  and  evidently  disposed  to  take  the 
pleasing  side  of  every  occurrence  in  life;  they  both  agreed  in  but  one 
point— a  firm  and  fixed  resolve  to  give  no  explanation  of  the  quarre'i 
with  me.  "  So  then,"  said  I,  as  Curzon  hurried  over  the  preceding 


40  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

account,  "  you  absolutely  know  nothing  whatever  of  the  reason  for 
which  I  am  about  to  give  this  man  a  meeting." 

"  No  more  than  you,"  said  Curzon,  with  imperturbable  gravity; 
"  but  one  thing  I  am  certain  of — had  I  not  at  once  promised  him 
such,  he  would  have  posted  you  in  Limerick  the  next  morning;  and, 
as  you  know  our  mess  rule  in  the  4-th,  I  thought  it  best " 

"  O,  certainly,  quite  right;  but  now  are  you  quite  certain  I 
am  the  man  who  offended  him?  for  I  solemnly  assure  you,  I  have 
not  the  most  remote  recollection  of  having  ever  heard  of  him." 

"  That  point,"  said  Curzon,  "  there  can  be  no  doabt  of,  for  he 
not  only  designated  you  as  Mr.  Harry  Lorrequer,  but  the  gentleman 
that  made  all  Cork  laugh  so  heartily,  by  his  representation  of 
Othello." 

"  Stop!"  said  I,  "  say  not  a  word  more;  I'm  his  man." 

By  this  time  we  had  reached  the  ruins,  and  turning  a  corner  came 
in  full  contact  with  the  enemy;  they  had  been  resting  themselves  on 
a  tomb-stone,  and  rose  as  we  approached. 

"  Allow  me, "  said  Curzon,  stepping  a  little  in  advance  of  me, 
"  allow  me  to  introduce  my  friend  Mr.  Lorrequer,  Dr.  Finicane — 
Dr.  Finicane,  Mr.  Lorrequer." 

"  Finucane  if  quite  agreable  to  you;  Finucane,"  said  the  little 
gentleman,  as  he  lifted  his  hat  straight  off  his  head,  and  replaced  it 
most  accurately,  by  way  of  salute.  "  Mr.  Lorrequer,  it  is  with  sin- 
cere pleasure  I  make  your  acquaintance."  Here  Mr.  Beamish  bowed 
stiffly,  in  return  to  my  salutation,  and  at  the  instant  a  kind  of  vague 
sensation  crossed  my  mind,  that  those  red  whiskery  and  that  fiery 
face  were  not  seen  for  the  first  time,  but  the  thumbscrews  of  the 
holy  office  would  have  been  powerless  to  refresh  my  memory  as  to 
when. 

"Captain,"  said  the  doctor,  "may  I  request  the  favor  of  your 
company  this  way,  one  minute?"  They  both  walked  aside;  the  only 
•words  which  reached  me  as  I  moved  off,  to  permit  their  conference, 
being  an  assurance  on  the  part  of  the  doctor,  "  that  it  was  a  sweet 
spot  he  picked  out,  for,  by  having  them  placed  north  and  south, 
neither  need  have  a  patch  of  sky  behind  him."  Very  few  minutes 
sufficed  for  the  preliminaries,  and  they  both  advanced  smirking  and 
smiling,  as  if  they  had  just  arranged  a  new  plan  for  the  amelioration 
of  the  poor,  or  the  benefit  of  the  manufacturing  classes,  instead  of 
making  preparations  for  sending  a  gentleman  out  of  the  world. 

"  Then,  if  I  understand  you,  captain,"  said  the  doctor,  "  you  step 
the  distance,  and  I  give  the  word. ' ' 

"  Exactly,"  said  Curzon. 

After  a  joking  allusion  to  my  friend's  length  of  limb,  at  which 
we  all  laughed  heartily,  we  were  placed,  Curzon  and  the  doctor 
standing  and  breaking  the  line  between  us ;  the  pistols  were  then  put 
into  our  hands,  the  doctor  saying — "  Now,  gentlemen,  I'll  just  retire 
six  paces,  and  turn  round,  which  will  be  quite  time  enough  to  pre- 
pare, and  at  the  word  '  fire  '  ye'll  blaze  away;  mind  now."  With 
a  knowing  wink,  the  doctor  delivered  this  direction,  and  immediately 
moved  off;  the  word  "fire"  followed,  and  both  pistols  went  off 
together.  My  hat  was  struck  near  the  top,  and,  as  the  smoke  cleared 
away,  I  perceived  that  my  ball  hud  takeu  effect  upon  my  adversary; 
he  was  wounded  a  little  below  the  knee  and  appeared  to  steady  him- 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  41 

»elf  with  the  greatest  difficulty.  "  Your  friend  is  hit,"  said  Curzon, 
to  the  doctor,  who  now  came  forward  with  another  pistol.  "  Your 
friend  is  hit. ' 

"  So  I  perceive,"  said  he,  placing  his  finger  on  the  spot;  "  but  it 
is  no  harm  in  life;  so  we  proceed,  if  you  please. " 

"  You  don't  mean  to  demand  another  shot?"  said  Curzon. 

"  Faith,  do  I,"  said  the  doctor,  coolly. 

"Then,"  said  Curzon,  "I  must  tell  you  most  unequivocally,  I 
refuse,  and  shall  now  withdraw  my  friend,  and  had  it  not  been  for  a 
regulation  peculiar  to  our  regiment,  but  never  intended  to  include 
cases  of  this  nature,  we  had  not  been  here  now ;  for  up  to  this  hour 
my  principal  and  myself  are  in  utter  ignorance  of  any  cause  of 
offense  ever  having  been  offered  by  him  to  Mr.  Beamish." 

"  Giles,  do  you  hear  this?"  said  the  doctor. 

But  Giles  did  not  hear  it,  for  the  rapid  loss  of  blood  from  his 
wound  had  so  weakened  him  that  he  had  fainted,  and  now  lay 
peaceably  on  the  grass.  Etiquette  was  now  at  an  end,  and  we  all 
ran  forward  to  assist  the  wounded  man ;  for  some  minutes  he  lay  ap- 
parently quite  senseless,  and  when  he  at  last  rallied  and  looked 
wildly  about  him,  it  appeared  to  be  with  difficulty  that  he  recalled 
any  recollection  of  the  place,  and  the  people  around  him;  for  a  few 
seconds  he  fixed  his  eyes  steadily  upon  the  doctor,  and  with  a  lip 
pale  and  bloodless,  and  a  voice  quivering  from  weakness,  said: 

"  Fin!  didn't  I  tell  ye,  that  pistol  always  threw  high — oh!"  and 
this  he  said  with  a  sigh  that  nearly  overpowered  him,  "  O,  Fin,  if 
you  had  only  given  me  the  saw -handled  one  that  /  am  used  to  ;  but 
it  is  no  good  talking  now. " 

In  my  inmost  heart  I  was  grateful  to  the  little  doctor  for  his  mis- 
take, for  I  plainly  perceived  what  "  the  saw-handled  one  he  wag 
used  to  "  might  have  done  for  me,  and  could  not  help  muttering  t« 
myself  with  good  Sir  Andrew — "If  I  had  known  he  was  so  cunning 
of  fence,  I'd  have  seen  him  damned  before  that  I  fought  with  him." 

Our  first  duty  was  now  to  remove  the  wounded  man  to  the  high 
road,  about  which  both  he  himself  and  his  second  seemed  disposed  to 
make  some  difficulty;  they  spoke  together  for  a  few  moments  in  a 
low  tone  of  voice,  and  then  the  doctor  addressed  us,  "  We  feel,  gen- 
tlemen, this  is  not  a  time  for  any  concealment ;  but  the  truth  is,  we 
have  need  of  great  circumspection  here,  for  I  must  inform  you  we 
are  both  of  us  bound  over  in  heavy  recognizances  to  keep  the  peace. 

"  Bound  over  to  keep  the  peace!"  said  Curzon  and  myself  together. 

"  Nothing  less;  and  although  there  is  nobody  hereabouts  would 
tell,  yet  if  the  affair  got  into  the  papers  by  any  means,  why  there  are 
some  people  in  Cork  would  like  to  press  rny  friend  there,  for  he  is  a 
very  neat  shot  when  he  has  the  saw-handle,"  and  here  the  doctor 
winked. 

We  had  little  time  permitted  us  to  think  upon  the  oddity  of  meet- 
ing a  man  in  such  circumstances,  for  we  were  now  obliged  to  con- 
tribute our  aid  in  conveying  him  to  the  road,  where  some  means 
might  be  procured  for  his  transfer  to  Kilrush  or  some  other  town  in 
the  neighborhood,  for  he  was  by  this  time  totally  unable  to  walk. 

After  half  an  hour's  toiling,  we  at  last  did  reach  the  highway, 
by  which  time  I  had  ample  opportunity,  short  as  the  space  was,  to 
see  something  of  the  character  of  our  two  opponents.  It  appeared  that 


42  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

the  doctoi  ^.ercised  the  most  absolute  control  over  his  large  friend, 
dictating  and  commanding  in  a  tone  which  the  other  never  ventured 
to  resist ;  for  a  moment  or  two  Mr.  Beamish  expressed  a  great  desire 
to  be  conveyed  by  night  to  Kilrush,  where  he  might  find  means  to 
cross  the  Shannon  into  Kerry;  this,  however,  the  doctor  opposed 
strenuously,  from  the  risk  of  publicity;  and  finally  settled  that  we 
should  all  go  in  a  body  to  his  friend,  Father  Malachi  Brennan's  house 
only  two  miles  off,  where  the  sick  man  would  have  the  most  tender 
care,  and  what  the  doctor  considered  equally  indispensable,  we  our- 
selves a  most  excellent  supper,  and  a  hearty  welcome. 

"  You  know  Father  Malachi,  of  course,  Mr.  Lorrequer?" 

"  1  am  ashamed  to  say  I  do  not. " 

"  Xot  know  Malachi  Brennan  and  live  in  Clare!  Well,  well,  that 
is  strange;  sure  he  is  the  priest  of  this  country  for  twelve  miles  in 
every  direction  of  you,  and  a  better  man,  and  pleasauter,  there  does 
not  live  in  the  diocese,  though  I'm  his  cousin  that  says  it." 

After  professing  all  the  possible  pleasure  it  would  afford  my  friend 
and  myself  to  make  the  acquaintance  of  Father  Malachi,  we  pro- 
ceeded to  place  Mr.  Beamish  in  a  car  that  was  passing  at  the  time, 
and  started  for  the  residence  of  the  good  priest.  The  whole  of  the 
way  thither  I  was  occupied  but  by  one  thought,  a  burning  anxiety 
to  know  the  cause  of  our  qxiarrel,  and  I  longed  for  the  moment  when 
I  might  get  the  doctor  apart  from  his  friend  to  make  the  inquiry. 

"  There,  look  down  to  your  left,  where  you  see  the  lights  shining 
so  brightty,  that  is  Father  Malachi's  house;  as  sure  as  my  name  is 
De  Courcy  Finucane,  there's  fun  going  on  there  this  night." 

"  Why,  there  certainly  does  seem  a  great  illumination  in  the  valley 
there,"  said  I. 

"  May  I  never,"  said  the  doctor,  "  if  it  isn't  a  station " 

"  A  station! — pray  may  I  ask " 

"  You  need  not  ask  a  word  on  the  subject:  for,  if  I  am  a  true 
prophet,  you'll  know  what  it  means  before  morning." 

A  little  more  chatting  together  brought  us  to  a  narrow  road, 
flanked  on  either  side  by  high  hedges  of  hawthorn,  and,  in  a  few 
minutes  more,  we  stood  before  the  priest's  residence,  a  long,  white- 
washed, thatched  house,  having  great  appearance  of  comfort  and 
convenience.  Arrived  here,  the  doctor  seemed  at  once  to  take  on 
him  the  arrangements  of  the  whole  party;  for,  after  raising  the  latch 
and  entering  the  house,  he  returned  to  us  in  a  few  minutes,  and  said: 

"  Wait  awhile  now;  we'll  not  go  in  to  Father  Malachi  till  we've 
put  Giles  to  bed." 

We  accordingly  lifted  him  from  off  the  car,  and  assisted  him  into 
the  house,  and  following  Finucane  down  a  narrow  passage,  at  last 
reached  a  most  comfortable  little  chamber,  with  a  neat  bed ;  here  we 
placed  him,  while  the  doctor  gave  some  directions  to  a  bare-headed, 
red-legged  hussy,  without  shoes  or  stockings,  and  himself  proceeded 
to  examine  the  wound,  which  was  a  more  serious  one  than  it  first  ap- 
peared. 

After  half  an  hour  thus  occupied,  during  which  time  roars  of  mer- 
riment and  hearty  peals  of  laughter  burst  upon  us  every  time  the 
door  opened,  from  a  distant  part  of  the  house,  where  his  reverence 
was  entertaining  his  friends,  and  which,  as  often  as  they  were  heard 
by  fhe  doctor,  seemed  to  produce  in  him  sensations  not  unlike  those 


HARRY    LORREQFER.  43 

that  afflicted  the"  wedding- guest  "  in  the  "  Ancient  Mariner,"  when 
he  heard'the  "  loud  bassoon,"  and  as  certainly  imparted  an  equally 
longing  desire  to  be  a  partaker  in  the  mirth.  We  arranged  every- 
thing satisfactorily  for  Mr.  Beamish's  comfort,  and  with  a  large 
basin  of  vinegar  and  water  to  keep  his  knee  cool,  and  a  strong  tumbler 
of  hot  punch  to  keep  his  heart  warm — homeopathic  medicine  is  not 
half  so  new  as  Dr.  Halmeman  would  make  us  believe — we  left  Mr. 
Beamish  to  his  own  meditations,  and  doubtless  regrets  that  he  did 
not  get  "  the  saw-handled  one  he  was  used  to,"  while  we  proceeded 
to  make  our  bows  to  Father  Malachi  Brennan. 

But,  as  I  have  no  intention  to  treat  the  good  priest  with  ingratitude, 
I  shall  not  present  him  to  my  readers  at  the  tail  of  a  chapter. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

THE  PRIEST'S  SUPPER — FATHER  MALACHI  AND  THE  COADJUTOR 
— MAJOR   JONES  AND  THE  ABBE. 

AT  the  conclusion  of  our  last  chapter  we  left  our  quondam  antago- 
nist, Mr.  Beamish,  stretched  at  full  length  upon  a  bed  practicing 
homeopathy  by  administering  hot  punch  to  his  fever,  while  we  fol- 
lowed our  chaperon,  Dr.  Finucane,  into  the  presence  of  the  Reverend 
Father  Brennan. 

The  company  into  which  we  now,  without  any  ceremony  on  our 
parts,  introduced  ourselves,  consisted  of  from  flve-and- twenty  to 
thirty  persons,  seated  around  a  Lrnre  oak  table,  plentifully  provided 
with  materials  for  drinking,  and  cups,  goblets,  and  glasses  of  every 
shape  and  form.  The  moment  we  entered  the  doctor  stepped  forward, 
and  touching  Father  Malachi  on  the  shoulder— for  so  I  rightly  guessed 
him  to  be — presented  himself  to  his  relative,  by  whom  he  was  wel- 
comed with  every  demonstration  of  joy.  While  their  recognitions 
were  exchanged,  and  while  the  doctor  explained  the  reasons  of  our 
visit,  I  was  enabled,  undisturbed  and  unnoticed,  to  take  a  brief  survey 
of  the  party. 

Father  Malachi  Brennan,  P.  P.  of  Carrigaholt,  was  what  I  had 
often  pictured  to  myself  as  the  beau  ideal  of  his  caste ;  his  figure  was 
short,  fleshy,  and  enormously  muscular,  and  displayed  proportions 
which  wanted  but  height  to  constitute  a  perfect  Hercules ;  his  legs 
so  thick  in  the  calf,  so  taper  in  the  ankle,  looked  like  nothing  I 
know,  except,  perhaps  the  metal  balustrades  of  Carlisle  bridge ;  his 
face  was  large  and  rosy,  and  the  general  expression,  a  mixture  of 
unbounded  good-humor  and  inexhaustible  drollery,  to  whieh  the 
restless  activity  of  his  black  and  arched  eye-brows  greatly  contributed; 
and  his  mouth,  were  it  not  for  a  character  of  sensuality  and  voluptu- 
ousness about  the  nether  lip,  had  been  actually  handsome ;  his  head 
was  bald,  except  a  narrow  circle  close  above  the  ears,  which  was 
marked  by  a  ring  of  curly  dark  hair,  sadly  insufficient,  however,  to 
conceal  a  development  behind,  that,  if  there  be  truth  in  phrenology, 
bodes  but  little  happiness  to  the  disciples  of  Miss  Martineau. 

Add  to  these  external  signs  a  voice  rich,  fluent,  and  racy,  with  the 
mellow  "  doric  "  of  his  country,  you  have  some  faint  resemblance 
of  one  "  every  inch  a  priest."  The  very  antipodes  to  the  bonhomie 
of  this  figure  confronted  him  as  croupier  at  the  foot  of  the  table. 


44  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

This,  as  I  afterward  learned,  was  no  less  a  person  than  Mr.  Donovan, 
the  coadjutor  or  "  curate;"  he  was  a  tall,  spare,  ungainly-looking 
man  of  about  five-and- thirty,  with  a  pale,  ascetic  countenance,  the 
only  readable  expression  of  which  vibrated  between  low  suspicion 
and  intense  vulgarity:  over  his  low  projecting  forehead  hung  down 
a  mass  of  straight  red  hair;  indeed — for  nature  is  not  a  politician — it 
almost  approached  an  orange  hue.  This  was  cut  close  to  the  head  all 
round,  and  displayed  in  their  full  proportions  a  pair  of  enormous  ears 
which  stood  out  in  "relief,"  like  turrets  from  a  watch-tower,  and 
with  pretty  much  the  same  object;  his  skin  was  of  that  peculiar  color 
and  texture  to  which  not  all  "  the  water  in  great  Neptune's  ocean  " 
could  impart  a  look  of  cleanliness,  while  his  very  voice,  hard,  harsh, 
and  inflexible,  was  unprepossessing  and  unpleasant.  And  yet, 
strange  as  it  may  seem,  he,  too,  was  a  correct  type  of  his  order,  the 
only  difference  being  that  Father  Malachi  was  an  older  coinage,  with 
the  impress  of  Douay  or  St.  Omers,  whereas  Mr.  Donovan  was  the 
shining  metal,  fresh  stamped  from  the  mint  of  Maynooth. 

While  thus  occupied  in  my  surveillance  of  the  scene  before  me,  I 
was  roused  by  the  priest  saying: 

"  Ah,  Fin,  my  darling,  you  needn'  t  deny  it;  you're  at  the  old 
game  as  sure  as  my  name  is  Malachi,  and  ye'll  never  be  easy  or  quiet 
till  you're  sent  beyond  the  sea,  or  maybe  have  a  record  of  your  virtues 
on  half  a  ton  of  marble  in  the  church-yard  yonder." 

"  Upon  my  honor,  upon  the  sacred  honor  of  a  De  Courcy " 

"  Well,  well,  never  mind  it  now;  ye  see  ye're  just  keeping  your 
friends  cooling  themselves  there  in  the  corner — introduce  me  at 
once." 

"  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I'm  sure " 

"  My  name  is  Curzon,"  said  the  adjutant,  bowing. 

"A  mighty  pretty  name,  though  a  little  profane;  well,  Mr. 
Curseon,"  for  so  he  pronounced  it,  "  ye're  as  welcome  as  the  flowers 
in  May;  and  it's  mighty  proud  I  am  to  see  ye  here." 

"  Mr.  Lorrequer,  allow  me  to  shake  your  hand — I've  heard  of  ye 
before." 

There  seemed  nothing  very  strange  in  that ;  for  go  where  I  would 
through  this  county,  I  seemed  as  generally  known  as  ever  was  Brum- 
mel  in  Bond  Street. 

"  Fin  tells  me,"  continued  Father  Malachi,  "  that  ye'd  rather  not 
be  known  down  here,  in  regard  of  a  reason,"  and  here  he  winked. 
"  Make  yourself  quite  easy,  the  king's  writ  was  never  but  once  in 
these  parts:  and  the  '  original  and  true  copy  '  went  back  to  Limerick 
in  the  stomach  of  the  server;  they  made  him  eat  it,  Mr.  Lorrequer; 
but  it's  as  well  to  be  cautious,  for  there  are  a  good  number  here.  A 
little  dinner,  a  little  quarterly  dinner  we  have  among  us,  Mr. 
Curseon,  to  be  social  together,  and  raise  a  '  trifle'  for  the  Irish  college 
at  Rome,  where  we  have  a  probationer  or  two  ourselves." 

"  As  good  as  a  station,  and  more  drink,"  whispered  Fin  into  my 
«ar.  "  And  now,"  continued  the  priest,  "  ye  must  permit  me  to  re- 
christen  ye  both,  and  the  contribution  will  not  be  less  for  what  I'm 
going  to  do;  and  ITU  certain  you'll  not  be  the  worse  for  the  change, 
Mr.  Curseon — though  tis  only  for  a  few  hours  ye'll  have  a  decent 
name." 

As  I  could  see  no  possible  objection  to  this  proposal,  nor  did  Curzon. 


HAHRY    L011REQUER.  45 

either,  our  only  desire  being  to  maintain  the  secrecy  necessary  for 
our  antagonist's  safety,  we  at  once  assented,  when  Bather  Malachi 
took  me  by  the  hand,  but  with  such  a  total  change  in  his  whole  air 
and  deportment,  that  I  was  completely  puzzled  by  it;  he  led  me  for 
ward  to  the  company  with  a  good  deal  of  that  ceremonious  reverence 
I  have  often  admired  in  Sir  Charles  Vernon,  when  conducting  some 
full-blown  dowager  though  the  mazes  of  a  castle  minuet.  The  desire 
to  laugh  outright  was  almost  irresistible,  as  the  Rev.  Father  stood  at 
arm's  length  from  me,  still  holding  my  hand,  and  bowing  to  the 
company  pretty  much  in  the  style  of  a  manager  introducing  a  blush- 
ing debutante  to  an  audience.  A  moment  more,  and  I  must  have 
inevitably  given  way  to  a  burst  of  laughter;  when  what  was  my 
horror  to  hear  the  priest  present 'me  to  the  company  as  their  "  excel- 
lent, worthy,  generous,  and  patriotic  young  landlord,  Lord  Kilkee. 
Cheer,  eveiy  mother's  son  of  ye;  cheer,  I  say;"  and  certainly  pre- 
cept was  never  more  strenuously  backed  by  example,  for  he  huzzaed 
till  I  thought  he  would  burst  a  blood-vessel ;  may  I  add,  I  almost 
wished  it,  such  was  the  insufferable  annoyance,  the  chagrin,  this 
announcement  gave  me;  and  I  waited  with  eager  impatience  for  the 
din  and  clamor  to  subside,  to  disclaim  every  syllable  of  the  priest's 
announcement,  and  take  the  consequences  of  my  baptismal  epithet, 
cost  what  it  might.  To  this  I  was  impelled  by  many  and  important 
reasons.  Situated  as  I  was  with  respect  to  the  Callonby  family,  my 
assumption  of  their  name  at  such  a  moment  might  get  abroad,  and 
thv.  consequences  to  me  be  inevitable  ruin ;  and  independent  of  my 
natural  repugnance  to  such  sailing  under  false  colors,  I  saw  Curzon 
laughing  almost  to  suffocation  at  my  wretched  predicament,  and  (so 
strong  within  me  was  the  dread  of  ridicule)  I  thought  "  what  a  pretty 
narrative  he  is  concocting  for  the  mess  this  minute."  I  rose  to 
reply,  and  whether  Father  Malachi,  with  his  intuitive  quickness, 
guessed  my  purpose  or  not  I  cannot  say,  but  he  certainly  resolved  to 
outmaneuver  me,  and  he  succeeded :  while  with  one  hand  he  motioned 
to  the  party  to  keep  silence,  with  the  other  he  took  hold  of  Curzon, 
but  with  no  peculiar  or  very  measured  respect,  and  introduced  him 
as  Mr.  Mac  Neesh,  the  new  Scotch  steward  and  improver — a  charac- 
ter at  that  time  whose  popularity  might  compete  with  a  tithe  proctor 
or  an  exciseman.  So  completely  did  this  tactique  turn  the  tables 
upon  the  poor  adjutant,  who  the  moment  before  was  exulting  over 
me,  that  I  utterly  forgot  my  own  woes,  and  sat  down  convulsed  with 
mirth  at  his  situation — an  emotion  certainly  not  lessened  as  I  saw 
Curzon  passed  from  one  to  the  other  at  table,  "  like  a  pauper  to  his 
parish,"  till  he  found  an  asylum  at  the  very  foot,  in  juxta  with  the 
engaging  Mister  Donovan,  a  propinquity,  if  I  might  judge  from  their 
countenances,  uncoveted  by  either  party. 

While  this  was  performing,  Dr.  Finucane  was  making  his  recog- 
nitions with  several  of  the  company, 'to  whom  he  had  been  long  known 
during  his  visits  to  the  neighborhood.  I  now  resumed  my  place  on 
the  right  of  the  Father,  abandoning  for  the  present  all  intention  of 
disclaiming  my  rank,  and  the  campaign  was  opened.  The  priest 
now  exerted  himself  to  the  utmost  to  recall  conversation  into  the 
original  channels,  and  if  possible  to  draw  off  attention  from  me,  which 
he  still  feared  might,  perhaps,  elicit  some  unlucky  announcement  on 
my  part.  Failing  in  his  endeavors  to  bring  matters  to  their  former 


46  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

footing,  he  turned  the  whole  brunt  of  his  attentions  to  the  worthy 
doctor,  who  sat  on  his  left. 

"  How  goes  on  the  law,"  said  he,  "  Fin?  any  new  proofs,  as  they 
call  them,  forthcoming?" 

What  Fin  replied,  I  could  not  hear,  but  the  allusion  to  the  "  suit  " 
was  explained  by  Father  Malachi  informing  us  that  the  only  impedi- 
ment between  his  cousin  and  the  title  of  Kinsale  lay  in  the  unfortu- 
nate fact,  that  his  grandmother,  "  rest  her  sowl,  "  was  not  a  man. 

Dr.  Finucane  winced  a  little  under  the  manner  in  which  this  was 
spoken;  but  returned  the  fire  by  asking  if  the  bishop  was  down 
lately  in  that  quarter?  The  evasive  way  in  which  "  the  Father  "  re- 
plied having  stimulated  my  curiosity  as  to  the  reason,  little  entreaty 
was  necessary  to  persuade  the  doctor  to  relate  the  following  anecdote, 
which  was  not  relished  the  less  by  his  superior,  that  it  told  somewhat 
heavily  on  Mr.  Donovan. 

'  It  is  about  four  years  ago,"  said  the  doctor,  "  since  the  Bishop, 
Dr.  Plunket,  took  it  into  his  head  that  he'd  make  a  general  inspec- 
tion, '  a  reconnoisance, '  as  we'd  call  it,  Mr.  Lor — that  is,  my  lord! 
through  the  whole  diocese,  and  leave  no  part  far  nor  near  without 
poking  his  nose  in  it  and  seeing  how  matters  were  doing.  He  heard 
very  queer  stores  about  his  reverence  here,  and  so  down  he  came  one 
morning  in  the  month  of  July,  riding  upon  an  old  gray  hack,  look- 
ing just  for  all  the  world  like  any  other  elderly  gentleman  in  very 
rusty  black.  When  he  got  near  the  village  he  picked  up  a  little  boy 
to  show  him  the  short  cut  across  the  fields  to  the  house  here;  and  as 
his  lordship  was  a  '  sharp  man  and  a  shrewd,'  he  kept  his  eye  on 
everything  as  he  went  along,  remarking  this,  and  noting  down  that. 

'  '  Are  ye  regular  in  yer  duties,  my  son?'  said  he  to  the  gossoon. 

"  '  I  never  miss  a  Sunday,'  said  the  gossoon;  '  for  it's  always  walk- 
ing his  reverence's  horse  I  am  the  whole  time  av  prayers. ' 

His  lordship  said  no  more  for  a  little  while,  when  he  muttered 
l>etween  his  teeth,  '  Ah,  it's  just  slander — nothing  but  slander  and 
lying  tongues. '  This  soliloquy  was  caused  by  his  remarking  that  on 
every  gate  he  passed,  or  from  every  cabin,  two  or  three  urchins 
would  come  out  half  naked,  but  all  with  the  finest  heads  of  red  hair 
he  ever  saw  in  his  life. 

"  '  How  is  it,  my  son,'  said  he  at  length;  '  they  tell  very  strange 
stories  about  Father  Malachi,  and  I  see  so  many  of  these  children 
with  red  hair.  Eh — now  Father  Malachi 's  a  dark  man.' 

"  '  True  for  ye,'  said  the  boy;  '  true  for  ye,  Father  Malachi 's  dark; 
but  the  coadjutor!— the  coadjutor's  a&red  as  a  fox.'  ' 

When  the  laugh  this  story  caused  had  a  little  subsided,  Father 
Malachi  called  out,  "  Mickey  Oulahan!  Mickey,  I  say,  hand  his  lord- 
ship over  '  the  groceries  '  ' ' — thus  he  designated  a  square  decanter, 
containing  about  two  quarts  of  whisky,  and  a  bowl  lu-aped  high 
with  sugar — "  a  dacent  boy  is  Mickey,  my  lord,  and  I'm  happy  to  be 
the  means  of  making  him  known  to  you. ' '  I  bowed  with  condescen- 
sion, while  Mr.  Oulahan's  eyes  sparkled  like  diamonds  at  the  recog- 
vition. 

"  He  has  only  two  years  of  the  lease  to  run,  and  a  '  long  charge,'  " 
(anglice,  a  large  family)  continued  the  priest. 

"  I'll  not  forget  him,  you  may  depend  upon  it,"  said  I. 

"Do  you  hear  that,"  said  Father  Maluchi,  casting  a  glance  of 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  47 

triumph  round  the  table,  while  a  general  buzz  of  commendation  on 
priest  and  patron  went  round,  with  many  such  phrases  as,  "  Och 
thin,  it's  his  riv'rance  can  do  it."  "  na  bocklish,"  "  and  why  not," 
&c.,  &c.  As  for  me,  I  have  already  "  confessed  "  to  my  crying  sin, 
a  fatal,  irresistible  inclination  to  follow  the  humor  of  the  moment 
wherever  it  led  me;  and  now  I  found  myself  as  active  a  partisan  in 
quizzing  Mickey  Oulahan,  as  though  I  was  not  myself  a  party  in- 
cluded in  the  jest.  I  was  thus  fairly  launched  into  my  inveterate 
habit,  and  nothing  could  arrest  my  progress. 

One  by  one  the  different  individuals  round  the  table  were  presented 
to  me,  and  made  known  their  various  wants,  with  an  implicit  con- 
fidence in  my  power  of  relieving  them,  which  I  with  equal  readiness 
ministered  to.  I  lowered  the  rent  of  every  man  at  table.  I  made  a 
general  jail  delivery,  an  act  of  grace  (I  blush  to  say)  which  seemed  to 
be  peculiarly  interesting  to  the  present  company.  I  abolished  all 
arrears — made  a  new  line  of  road  through  an  impassable  bog,  and 
over  an  inaccessible  mountain—  and  conducted  water  to  a  mill,  which 
Q.  learned  in  the  morning)  was  always  worked  by  wind.  The 
decanter  had  scarcely  completed  its  third  circuit  of  the  board,  when 
I  bid  fair  to  be  the  most  popular  specimen  of  the  peerage  that  ever 
visited  the  "far  west."  In  the  midst  of  my  career  of  universal 
benevolence,  I  was  interrupted  by  Father  Malachi,  whom  I  found 
on  his  legs,  pronouncing  a  glowing  eulogium  on  his  cousin's  late 
regiment,  the  famous  North  Cork. 

"That  was  ihe  corps!"  said  he.  "Bid  them  do  a  thing,  and 
they'd  never  leave  off ;  and  so,  when  they  got  orders  to  retire  from 
Wexford,  it's  little  they  cared  for  the  comforts  of  baggage,  like 
many  another  regiment,  for  they  threw  away  everything  but  their 
canteens,  and  never  stopped  till  they  ran  to  Ross,  fifteen  miles  fur- 
ther than  the  enemy  followed  them.  And  when  they  were  all  in  bed 
the  same  night,  fatigued  and  tired  with  their  exertions,  as  ye  may 
suppose,  a  drummer's  boy  called  out  in  his  sleep — '  here  they  are 
— they're  coming  ' — they  all  jumped  up  and  set  off  in  their  shirts, 
and  got  two  miles  out  of  town  before  they  discovered  it  was  a  false 
alarm." 

Peal  after  peal  of  laughter  followed  the  priest's  encomium  on  the 
doctor's  regiment;  and,  indeed,  he  himself  joined  most  heartily  in 
the  mirth,  as  he  might  well  afford  to  do,  seeing  that  a  braver  or  bet- 
ter corps  than  the  North  Cork,  Ireland  did  not  possess. 

"  Well,"  said  Fin,  "  it's  easy  to  see  ye  never  can  forget  what  they 
did  at  Maynooth." 

Father  Malachi  disclaimed  all  personal  feeling  on  the  subject ;  and 
I  was  at  last  gratified  by  the  following  narrative,  which  I  regret 
deeply  I  am  not  enabled  to  give  in  the  doctor's  own  verbiage;  but 
writing  as  I  do  from  memory  (in  most  instances),  I  can  only  convey 
the  substance. 

It  was  toward  the  latter  end  of  the  year  '98 — the  year  of  the 
troubles— that  the  North  Cork  were  ordered,  "  for  their  sins,"  I  be- 
lieve, to  march  from  their  snug  quarters  in  Fermoy,  and  take  up  a 
position  in  the  town  of  Maynooth— a  very  considerable  reverse  of 
fortune  to  a  set  of  gentlemen  extremely  addicted  to  dining  out,  and 
living  at  large  upon  a  very  pleasant  neighborhood.  Fermoy 
Abounded  in  gentry;  Maynooth  at  thai  time  had  few,  if  any,  except- 


48  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

ing  his  Grace  of  Leinster,  and  he  lived  very  privately,  and  saw  aj 
company  Maynooth  was  stupid  and  dull— there  were  neither  belles 
nor  balls.  Fermoy  (to  use  the  doctor's  well  remembered  words)  had 
a  great  "  feeding, "  and  "very  genteel  young  ladies,  that  carried 
their  handkerchiefs  in  bags,  and  danced  with  the  officers." 

They  had  not  been  many  weeks  in  their  new  quarters  when  they 
began  to  pine  over  their  altered  fortunes,  and  it  was  with  a  sense  of 
delight,  which  a  few  months  before  would  have  been  incomprehensi- 
ble to  them,  they  discovered  that  one  of  their  officers  had  a  brother, 
a  young  priest  in  the  college;  he  introduced  him  to  some  of  his  con- 
freres, and  the  natural  result  followed.  A  visiting  acquaintance 
began  between  the  regiment  and  such  of  the  members  of  the  college 
as  had  liberty  to  leave  the  precincts,  who,  as  time  ripened  the  ac- 
quaintance into  intimacy,  very  naturally  preferred  the  cuisine  of  the 
North  Cork  to  the  meager  fare  of  "  the  refectory."  At  last  seldom 
a  day  went  by  without  one  or  two  of  their  reverences  finding  them- 
selves guests  at  the  mess.  The  North  Corkians  were  of  a  most  hos- 
pitable turn,  and  the  fathers  were  determined  the  virtue  should  not 
rust  for  want  of  being  exercised ;  they  would  just  drop  in  to  say  a 
word  to  "  Captain  O 'Flaherty  about  leave  to  shoot  in  the  demesne," 
as  Carton  was  styled;  or,  they  had  a  "  frank  from  the  duke  for  the 
colonel,"  or  some  other  equally  pressing  reason;  and  they  would 
contrive  to  be  caught  in  the  middle  of  a  very  droll  story  just  as 
the  ' '  roast  beef  ' '  was  playing.  Very  little  entreaty  sufficed — a 
short  apology  for  the  "  dereglements  "  of  dress,  and  a  few  minutes 
more  found  them  seated  at  table  without  further  ceremony  on  either 
•ide. 

Among  the  favorite  guests  from  the  college,  two  were  peculiarly 
in  estimation — "the  Professor  of  the  Humanities,"  Father  Luke 
Mooney;  and  the  Abbe  D' Array,  "the  Lecturer  on  Moral  Philoso- 
phy and  Belles  Lettres,"  and  certain  it  is,  pleasanter  fellows,  or 
more  gifted  with  the  "  convivial  bump,"  there  never  existed.  He 
of  the  Humanities  was  a  droll  dog— a  member  of  the  Curran  Club, 
the  "monks  of  the  screw,"  told  an  excellent  story  and  sang  the 
"  Cruiskeen  Lawn  "  bettei  than  did  any  one  before  or  since  him — 
the  moral  philosopher,  though  of  a  different  genre,  was  also  a  most 
agrwable  companion,  an  Irishman  transplanted  in  his  youth  to  St. 
Omers,  and  who  had  grafted  upon  his  native  humor  a  considerable 
share  of  French  smartness  and  repartee— such  were  the  two,  who 
ru]ed  supreme  in  all  the  festive  arrangements  of  this  jovial  regiment, 
and  were  at  last  as  regular  at  table,  as  the  adjutant  and  the  paymas- 
ter, and  so  might  they  have  continued,  had  not  prosperity,  that,  in 
its  blighting  influence  upon  the  heart,  spares  neither  priests  nor 
laymen,  and  is  equally  severe  upon  mice  (see  ^Esop's  fable)  and 
moral  philosophers,  actually  di  prived  them,  for  the  "nonce"  of 
reason,  and  tempted  them  to  their  ruin.  You  naturally  ask,  what 
did  they  do?  Did  they  venture  upon  allusions  to  the  retreat  upon 
Ross?  Nothing  of  the  kind.  Did  they,  in  that  vanity  which  wine 
inspires,  refer  by  word,  act  or  innuendo,  to  the  well-known  order  of 
their  colonel  when  reviewing  his  regiment  in  "the  Phoenix,"  to 
"  advance  two  steps  backward,  and  dress  by  the  gutter?"  Far  be  it 
frcm  them;  though  indeed  either  of  Ihese  had  been  esteemed  light  in 
the  balance  compared  with  their  real  crime.  "Then,  what  was  their 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  49 

failing— come  tell  it,  and  burn  ye!"  They  actually, "  horresco  re- 
ferens,"  quizzed  the  Major  coram  the  whole  mess!  Now,  Major 
John  Jones  had  only  lately  exchanged  into  the  North  Cork  from 
the  "  Darry  Ragement,"  as  he  called  it.  He  was  a  red-hot  orange- 
man,  a  deputy  grand-something  and  vice-chairman  of  the  "  Pren- 
tice Boys  "  besides.  He  broke  his  leg  when  a  schoolboy,  by  a  fall 
incurred  in  tying  an  orange  handkerchief  around  King  William's 
august  neck  in  college-green,  on  one  12th  of  July,  and  three  several 
times  had  closed  the  gates  of  Derry  with  his  own  loyal  hands,  on 
the  famed  anniversary;  in  a  word,  he  was  one,  that  if  his  church 
had  enjoined  penance  as  an  expiation  for  sin,  would  have  looked 
upon  a  trip  to  Jerusalem  on  his  bare  knees,  as  a  very  light  punish- 
ment for  the  crime  on  his  conscience,  that  he  sat  at  table  with  two 
buck  priests  from  Maynooth,  and  carved  for  them  like  the  rest  of 
the  company. 

Poor  Major  Jones,  however,  had  no  such  solace,  and  the  canker 
worm  eat  daily  deeper  and  deeper  into  his  pining  heart.  During  the 
three  or  four  weeks  of  their  intimacy  with  his  regiment,  his  martyr- 
dom was  awful.  His  figure  wasted,  and  his  color  became  a  deeper 
tinge  of  orange,  and  all  around  averred  that  there  would  soon  be  a 
"  move  up  "  in  the  corps,  for  the  major  had  evidently  "got  his 
notice  to  quit  "  this  world  and  its  pomps  and  vanities.  He  felt  "  that 
he  was  dying,"  to  use  Haines  Bayly's  beautiful  and  apposite  words, 
and  meditated  an  exchange,  but  that,  from  circumstances,  was  out  of 
the  question.  At  last,  subdued  by  grief,  and  probably  his  spirit 
having  chafed  itself  smooth  by  such  constant  attrition,  he  became  to 
all  seeming,  calmer,  but  it  was  only  the  calm  of  a  broken  and  weaiy 
heart.  Such  was  Major  Jones  at  the  time,  when  "  suadente  diab- 
olo,"  it  seemed  meet  to  Fathers  Mooney  and  D' Array  to  make  him 
the  butt  of  their  raillery.  At  first,  he  could  not  believe  it;  the  thing 
was  incredible — impossible;  but  when  he  looked  around  the  table, 
when  he  heard  the  roars  of  laughter,  long,  loud  and  vociferous; 
when  he  heard  his  name  bandied  from  one  to  1  he  other  across  the 
table,  with  some  vile  jest  tacked  to  it,  ' '  like  a  tin  kettle  to  a  dog's 
tail,"  he  awoke  to  the  full  measure  of  his  misery — the  cup  was  full. 
Fat  j  had  done  her  worst,  "and  he  might  have  exclaimed  with  Lear, 
"  spit  fire — spout  rain,"  there  was  nothing  in  store  for  him  of  fur- 
ther misfortune. 

A  drum-head  court  martial — a  hint  "  to  sell  out  "—ay,  a  sentence 
of  "  dismissed  the  service,"  had  been  mortal  calamities,  and  like  a 
man,  he  would  have  borne  them ;  but  that  he,  Major  John  Jones, 
D.G.S.C.P.B.,  &c,.  &c.,  who  had  -drank  the  "pious,  glorious, 
and  immortal,"  sitting  astride  of  "the  great  gun  of  Athlone," 
should  come  to  this !  Alas,  and  alas !  He  retired  that  night  to  his 
chamber  a  "sadder  if  not  a  wiser  man;"  he  dreamed  that  the 
"  statue  "  had  given  place  to  the  unshapely  figure  of  Leo  X.  and 
that  "  Lundy  now  stood  where  Walker  stood  before,"  He  jumped 
from  his  bed  in  a  moment  of  enthusiasm,  he  vowed  his  revenge,  and 
he  kept  his  vow. 

That  day  the  major  was  "  acting  field  officer."  The  various  pa- 
trols, sentries,  pickets  and  out-posts,  were  all  under  his  osper'iul 
control ;  and  it  was  remarked  that  lie  took  peculiar  pains  in  selecting 


50  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

the  men  for  night  duty,  which,  in  the  prevailing  quietness  and  peace 
of  that  time,  seemed  scarcely  warrantable. 

Evening  drew  near,  and  Major  Jones,  summoned  by  the  "  oft- 
heard  beat,"  wended  his  way  to  the  mess.  The  officers  were  drop- 
ping in,  and  true  as  "  the  needle  to  the  pole,"  came  Father  Mooney 
and  the  Abbe.  They  were  welcomed  with  the  usual  warmth,  and 
strange  to  say,  by  none  more  than  the  major  himself,  whose  hilarity 
knew  no  bounds. 

How  the  evening  passed  I  shall  not  stop  to  relate;  suffice  it  to  say, 
that  a  more  brilliant  feast  of  wit  and  jollification,  not  even  the 
North  Cork  ever  enjoyed.  Father  Luke's  drollest  stories,  his  very 
quaintest  humor  shone  forth,  and  the  Abbe  sang  a  new  "  Chanson  d 
Soire,"  that  Beranger  might  have  envied. 

"  Waat  are  you  about  my  dear  Father  D 'Array!"  said  the  colonel ; 
"you  are  surely  not  rising  yet;  here's  a  fresh  cooper  of  port  just 
come  in;  sit  down,  I  entreat." 

"  I  say  it  with  grief,  my  dear  colonel,  we  must  away;  the  half  hour 
has  just  chimed,  and  we  must  be  within  '  the  gates  '  before  twelve. 
The  truth  is,  the  superior  has  been  making  himself  very  troublesome 
about  '  our  carnal  amusements  '  as  he  calls  our  innocent  mirth,  and 
we  must,  therefore,  be  upon  our  guard." 

"  Well,  if  it  must  be  so,  we  shall  not  risk  losing  your  society  alto- 
gether, for  an  hour  or  so  now;  so,  one  bumper  to  our  next  meeting 
— to-morrow,  mind,  and  now,  M.  D'Abbe,  au  revoir. " 

The  worthy  fathers  finished  their  glasses,  and  taking  a  most  affec- 
tionate leave  of  their  kind  entertainers,  sallied  forth  under  the  guid- 
ance of  Major  Jones,  who  insisted  upon  accompanying  them  part  of 
the  way,  as,  ' '  from  information  he  had  received,  the  sentries  were 
doubled  in  some  places,  and  the  usual  precautions  against  surprise 
all  taken."  Much  as  this  polite  attention  surprised  the  objects  of  it, 
his  brother  officers  wondered  still  more,  and  no  sooner  did  they  per- 
ceive the  major  and  his  companions  issue  forth,  than  they  set  out  in 
a  body  to  watch  where  this  most  novel  and  unexpected  complais- 
ance would  terminate. 

When  the  priests  reached  the  door  of  the  barrack-yard,  they  again 
turned  to  utter  their  thanks  to  the  major,  and  entreat  him  once 
more,  "  not  to  come  a  step  further.  There  now,  major,  we  know  the 
path  well,  so  just  give  us  the  pass,  and  don't  stay  out  in  the  night 
air." 

"Ah  oui,  Monsieur  Jones,"  said  the  Abbe,  "  retournez,  je  vous 
prie.  We  are,  I  may  say,  chez  nous.  Ces  braves  gens,  les  North 
Cork,  know  us  by  this  time." 

The  Major  smiled,  while  he  still  pressed  his  services  to  see  them 
past  the  pickets,  but  they  were  resolved  and  would  not  be  denied. 

"With  the  word  for  the  night,  we  want  nothing  more,"  said 
Father  Luke. 

"Well  then,"  said  the  major,  in  the  gravest  tone,  and  he  was 
naturally  grave,  "you  shall  have  your  way,  but  remember  to  call 
out  loud,  for  the  first  sentry  is  a  little  deaf,  and  a  very  passionate, 
til-tempered  fellow  to  boot." 

"  Never  fear,"  said  Father  Mooney,  laughing;  "  I'll  go  bail  he'll 
hcjir  me." 

'V, :•;!-— the  word  for  the  night  is—'  Bloody  end  to  the  Pope  '— 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  51 

don't  forget  now,  '  Bloody  end  to  the  Pope. '  "  and  with  these  words 
he  banged  the  door  between  him  and  the  unfortunate  priests ;  and 
as  bolt  was  fastened  after  bolt,  they  heard  him  laughing  to  himself 
like  a  fiend  over  his  vengeance. 

"  And  big  bad  luck  to  ye,  Major  Jones,  for  the  same,  every  day 
ye  see  a  paving  stone,"  was  the  faint  sub-audible  ejaculation  of 
Father  Luke,  when  he  was  recovered  enough  to  speak. 

"Sacristi!  que  nous  sommes  attrapes,"  said  the  Abbe,  scarcely 
able  to  avoid  laughing  at  the  situation  in  which  they  were  placed. 

"  Well,  there's  the  quarter  chiming  now;  we've  no  time  to  lose— 
Maior  Jones!  Major,  darling!  don't  now,  ah,  don't!  sure  ye  know 
we'll  be  ruined  entirely — there  now,  just  change  it,  like  a  dacent 
fellow — the  devil's  luck  to  him,  he's  gone.  Well,  we  can't  stay  here 
in  the  rain  all  night,  and  be  expelled  in  the  morning  afterward — so 
come  along." 

They  jogged  on  for  a  few  minutes  in  silence,  till  they  came  to 
that  part  of  the  "  Duke's  "  demesne  wall,  where  the  first  sentry  was 
stationed.  By  this  time  the  officers,  headed  by  the  major,  had  qui- 
etly slipped  out  of  the  gate,  and  were  following  their  steps  at  a  con- 
venient distance. 

The  fathers  had  stopped  to  consult  together,  what  they  should  do 
in  this  trying  emergency — when  their  whisper  being  overheard,  the 
sentinel  called  out  gruffly,  in  the  genuine  dialect  of  his  country, 
"  Who  goes  that  ?" 

"  Father  Luke  Mooney,  and  the  Abbe  D' Array,"  said  the  former, 
in  his  most  bland  and  insinuating  tone  of  voice,  a  quality  he  most 
eminently  possessed. 

"  Stand  and  give  the  countersign." 

"  We  are  coming  from  the  mess,  and  going  home  to  the  college," 
said  Father  Mooney,  evading  the  question,  and  gradually  advancing 
as  he  spoke. 

"  Stand,  or  I'll  shot  ye,"  said  the  North  Corkian. 

Father  Luke  halted,  while  a  muttered  "Blessed  Virgin"  an- 
nounced his  state  of  fear  and  trepidation. 

"  D' Array,  I  say,  what  are  we  to  do?" 

"  The  countersign,"  said  the  sentry,  whose  figure  they  could  per- 
ceive in  the  dim  distance  of  about  thirty  yards. 

"  Sure  ye'll  let  us  pass,  my  good  lad,  and  ye'll  have  a  friend  in 
Father  Luke  the  longest  day  ye  live,  and  ye  might  have  a  worse  in 
time  of  need;  ye  understand." 

Whether  he  did  understand  or  not,  he  certainly  did  not  heed,  for 
his  only  reply  was  the  short  click  of  his  gun-lock,  that  bespeaks  a 
preparation  to  fire. 

"  There's  no  help  now,"  said  Father  Luke.  "  I  see  he's  a  hay- 
then;  and  bad  luck  to  the  major,  I  say  again;"  and  this  in  the  full- 
ness of  his  heart  he  uttered  aloud. 

"  That's  not  the  countersign,"  said  the  inexorable  sentry,  striking 
the  but-end  of  the  musket  "on  the  ground  with  a  crash  that  smote 
teiror  into  the  hearts  of  the  priests. 

^ Mumble — mumble — "  to  the  Pope,"  said  Father  Luke,  pronoun- 
cing the  last  words  distinctly,  after  the  approved  practice  of  a  Dublin 
watchman,  on  being  awoke  "from  his  dreams  of  row  and  riot  by  the 
Jast  toll  of  the  Poet-office,  and  not  knowing  whether  it  has  struck 


52 

"twelve"  or  "three"  sings  out  the  word  "o'clock,"  in  a  long 
sonorous  drawl,  that  wakes  every  sleeping  citizen  and  yet  tells  noth- 
ing how  "  time  speeds  on  his  flight." 

"  Louder,"  said  the  sentry,  in  a  voice  of  impatience. 

"  to  the  Pope." 

"  I  don't  hear  the  first  part. " 

"  O  then,"  said  the  priest,  with  a  sigh  that  might  have  melted  the 
heart  of  anything  but  a  sentry,  "  Bloody  end  to  the  Pope;  and  may 
the  saints  in  heaven  forgive  me  for  saying  it." 

"  Again,"  called  out  the  soldier;  "  and  no  muttering." 

"  Bloody  end  to  the  Pope,"  cried  Father  Luke,  in  bitter  despera- 
tion. 

"  Bloody  end  to  the  Pope,"  echoed  the  Abbe. 

",Pass,  bloody  end  to  the  Pope,  and  good  night,"  said  the  sentry, 
resuming  his  rounds,  while  a  loud  and  uproarious  peal  of  laughter 
behind  told  the  unlucky  priests  they  were  overheard  by  others,  and 
that  the  story  would  be  over  the  whole  town,  hi  the  morning. 

•"NVh ether  it  was  that  the  penance  for  their  heresy  took  long  in  ac- 
complishing, or  that  they  never  could  summon  courage  sufficient  to 
face  their  persecutor,  certain  it  is,  the  North  Cork  saw  them  no  more, 
nor  were  they  ever  observed  to  pass  the  precincts  of  the  college, 
while  that  regiment  occupied  Maynooth. 

Major  Jones  himself,  and  his  confederates,  could  not  have  more 
heartily  relished  this  story,  than  did  the  party  to  whom  the  doctor 
related  it.  Much,  if  not  all  the  amusement  it  afforded,  however, 
resulted  from  his  inimitable  mode  of  telling,  and  the  power  of  mim- 
icry, with  which  he  conveyed  the  dialogue  with  the  sentry,  and  this, 
alas,  must  be  lost  to  my  readers,  at  least  to  that  portion  of  them 
not  fortunate  enough  to  possess  Dr.  Finucane's  acquaintance. 

"Fin!  Fin!  your  long  story  has  nearly  famished  me,"  said  the 
padre,  as  the  laugh  subsided;  "  and  there  you  sit  now  with  the  jug 
ut  your  elbow  this  half-hour;  I  never  thought  you  would  forget  your 
old  friend  Martin  Hanegan's  aunt. " 

"  Here's  to  her  health,"  said  Fin;  "  and  your  reverence  will  get  us 
the  chant. ' ' 

"Agreed,"  said  Father  Malachi,  finishing  a  bumper;  and  after 
giving  a  few  preparatory  hems,  he  sang  the  following  "  singularly 
wild  and  beautiful  poem,"  as  some  one  calls  Christabel: 

"  Here's  a  health  to  Martin  Hanegan's  aunt, 

And  I'll  tell  ye  the  reason  why — 
She  eats  bekase  she  is  hungry, 
And  drinks  bekase  she  is  dry. 

"  And  if  ever  a  man 

Stopped  the  course  of  a  can, 
Martin  Hanegan's  aunt  would  cry — 
•  Arrah,  fill  up  your  glass,' 

And  let  the  jug  pass: 
How  d'ye  know  but  your's  neighbor's  dhryf  " 

"  Come,  my  lord  and  gentlemen,  de  capo,  if  ye  please.  Fill  up 
your  glass,"  &c;  and  the  clian»on  was  chorused  with  a  strength  and 
vigor  that  would  have  astonished  the  Philharmonic. 

The  mirth  and  fun  now  grew  "  fast  and  furious,"  and  Fathef 
Malachi,  rising  with  the  occasion,  flung  his  reckless  drollery  and 


HARRY    LOUREQUER.  53 

fun  on  every  side,  sparing  none,  from  his  cousin  to  the  coadjutor. 
It  was  now  that  peculiar  period  in  the  evening's  enjoyment,  when 
an  expert  and  practical  chairman  gives  up  all  interference,  or  man- 
agement, and  leaves  everything  to  take  its  course;  this  then  was  the 
happy  moment  selected  by  Father  Malachi  to  propose  the  little 
"  contribution."  He  brought  a  plate  from  a  side-table,  and  placing 
it  before  him,  addressed  the  company  in  a  very  brief  but  sensible 
speech,  detailing  the  object  of  the  institution  he  was  advocating, 
and  concluding  with  the  following  words:  "And  now  ye '11  just 
give  whatever  ye  like,  according  to  your  means  in  life,  and  what  ye 
can  spare." 

The  admonition,  like  the  "  morale  "  of  an  income  tax,  having  the 
immediate  effect  of  pitting  each  man  against  his  neighbor,  and  sug- 
gesting to  their  already  excited  spirits  all  the  ardor  of  gambling, 
without,  however,  a  prospect  of  gain.  The  plate  was  first  handed  to 
me  hi  honor  of  my  "  rank,"  and  having  deposited  upon  it  a  handful 
of  small  silver,  the  priest  ran  his  fingers  through  the  coin,  and  called 
out: 

"  Five  pounds!  at  least;  not  a  farthing  less,  as  I'm  a  sinner.  Look 
then — see,  now;  they  tell  ye,  the  gentlemen  don't  care  for  the  like  of 
ye,  but  see  for  yourselves.  May  I  trouble  y'r  lordship  to  pass  the 
plate  to  Mr.  Mahony — he's  impatient,  I  see." 

Mr.  Mahony,  about  whom  I  perceived  very  little  of  the  impatience 
alluded  to,  was  a  grim-looking  old  Christian,  hi  a  rabbit-skin  waist- 
coat, with  long  flaps,  who  fumbled  in  the  recesses  of  his  breeches 
pocket  for  five  minutes,  and  then  drew  forth  three  shillings,  which 
he  laid  upon  the  plate,  with  what  I  fancied  very  much  resembled  a 
sigh. 

"  Six  and  sixpence,  is  it?  or  five  shillings? — all  the  same,  Mr. 
Mahony,  and  I'll  not  forget  the  thrifle  you  were  speaking  about  this 
morning  anyway, ' '  and  here  he  leaned  over  as  interceding  with  me 
for  him,  but  in  reality  to  whisper  into  my  ear,  "  the  greatest  miser 
from  this  to  Castlebar. " 

"  Who's  that  put  down  the  half -guinea  in  goold?"  (and  this  time 
he  spoke  the  truth).  "  Who's  that,  I  say?" 

"  Tim  Kennedy,  your  reverence,"  said  Tim,  stroking  his  hair 
down  with  one  hand,  and  looking  proud  and  modest,  at  the  same 
moment. 

"  Tim,  ye're  a  credit  to  us  any  day,  and  I  always  said  so.  It's  a 
gauger  he  d  like  to  be,  my  lord,"  said  he,  turning  to  me,  in  a  kind 
of  stage  whisper.  I  nodded  and  muttered  something,  when  he 
thanked  me  most  profoundly  as  if  his  suit  had  prospered. 

"Mickey  Oulahan — the  lord's  looking  at  ye,  Mickey."  This 
was  said  pianissime  across  the  table,  and  had  the  effect  of  increasing 
Mr.  Oulahan's  donation  from  five  shillings  to  seven — the  last  two 
being  pitched  in  very  much  in  the  style  of  a  gambler  making  his 
final  coup,  and  crying,  "  va  banque."  "The  Oulahans  were  al- 
ways dacent  people — dacent  people,  my  lord." 

' '  Be  gorra,  the  Oulahans  was  niver  dacenter  nor  the  Molowneys, 
anyhow,"  said  a  tall  athletic  young  fellow,  as  he  threw  down  three 
crown  pieces,  with  an  energy  that  made  every  com  leap  from  the 
plate. 

"  They'll  do  now,"  said  Father  Brennan;   "  I'll  leave  them  to 


54  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

themselves,"  and  truly  the  eagerness  to  get  the  plate  and  put  down 
the  subscription,  fully  equaled  the  rapacious  anxiety  I  have  witnessed 
in  an  old  maid  at  loo,  to  get  possession  of  a  thirty-shilling  pool,  be 
the  same  more  or  less,  which  lingered  on  its  way  to  her,  in  the 
hands  of  many  a  fair  competitor. 

"Mr.  M'Neesh" — Curzon  had  hitherto  escaped  all  notice — "Mr. 
M'Neesh,  to  your  good  health,"  cried  Father Brennan.  "  It's  many 
a  secret  they'll  be  getting  out  o'  ye  down  there  about  the  Scotch 
husbandry." 

Whatever  poor  Curzon  knew  of  "  drills,"  certainly  did  not  extend 
to  them  when  occupied  by  turnips.  This  allusion  of  the  priest's  be- 
ing caught  up  by  the  party  at  the  foot  of  the  table,  they  commenced 
a  series  of  inquiries  into  different  Scotch  plans  of  tillage — his  brief 
and  unsatisfactory  answers  to  which,  they  felt  sure,  were  given  in 
order  to  evade  imparting  information.  By  degrees,  as  they  continued 
to  press  him  with  questions,  his  replies  grew  more  short,  and  a  gen- 
eral feeling  of  dislike  on  both  sides  was  not  very  long  in  following. 

The  father  saw  this,  and  determining  with  his  usual  tact  to  repress 
it,  called  on  the  adjutant  for  a  song.  Now,  whether  he  had  but  one 
in  the  world,  or  whether  he  took  this  mode  of  retaliating  for  the  an- 
noyance he  had  suffered,  I  know  not ;  but  true  it  is,  he  finished  his 
tumbler  at  a  draught,  and  with  a  voice  of  no  veiy  peculiar  sweet- 
ness, though  abundantly  loud,  began  "  The  Boyne  Water." 

He  had  just  reached  the  word  "  battle,"  in  the  second  line,  upon 
which  he  was  bestowing  what  he  meant  to  be  a  shake,  when,  as  if 
the  word  suggested  it,  it  seemed  the  signal  for  a  general  engage- 
ment. Decanters,  glasses,  jugs,  candlesticks — ay,  and  the  money- 
dish,  flew  right  and  left — all  originally  intended,  it  is  true,  for  the 
head  of  the  luckless  adjutant,  but  as  they  now  and  then  missed  their 
aim,  and  came  in  contact  with  the  ' '  wrong  man, ' '  invariably  pro- 
voked retaliation,  and  in  a  very  few  minutes  the  battle  became  gen- 
eral. 

What  may  have  been  the  doctor's  political  sentiments  on  this  occa- 
sion 1  cannot  even  guess;  but  he  seemed  bent  on  performing  the 
part  of  a  "convivial  Lord  Stanley,"  and  maintaining  a  dignified 
neutrality.  With  this  apparent  object,  he  mounted  upon  the  table, 
to  raise  himself,  I  suppose,  above  the  din  and  commotion  of  party 
clamor,  and  brandishing  a  jug  of  scalding  water,  bestowed  it  with 
perfect  impartiality  on  the  combatants  on  either  side.  This  Whig 
plan  of  conciliation,  however  well  intended,  seemed  not  to  prosper 
with  either  party;  and  many  were  the  missiles  directed  at  the  ill- 
starred  doctor.  Meanwhile,  Father  Malachi,  whether  following  the 
pacific  instinct  of  his  order,  in  seeking  an  asylum  in  troublesome 
times,  or  equally  moved  by  an  old  habit  to  gather  coin  in  low  places 
(much  of  the  money  having  fallen),  was  industriously  endeavoring 
to  insert  himself  beneath  the  table;  in  this,  with  one  vigorous  push, 
he  at  last  succeeded,  but  in  so  doing,  lifted  it  from  its  legs,  and  thus 
destroying  poor  "  Fin's  "  gravity,  precipitated  hiui,  jug  and  all,  into 
the  thickest  of  the  fray,  where  he  met  witli  that  kind  reception  suck 
a  benefactor  ever  receives  at  the  hands  of  a  grateful  public.  I  mean- 
while hurried  to  rescue  poor  Curzon,  who,  having  fallen  to  the 
ground,  was  getting  a  cast  of  his  features  taken  in  pewter,  for  such 
geemed  the  operation  a  stout  farmer  was  performing  on  the  adju- 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  5,' 

tent's  face. with  a  quart.  With  considerable  difficulty,  notwithstand- 
ing my  supposed  "  lordship,"  I  succeeded  in  freeing  him  from  his 
present  position ;  and  he  concluding,  probably,  that  enough  had  been 
done  for  one  "  sitting,"  most  unwillingly  permitted  me  to  lead  him 
from  the  room.  1  was  soon  joined  by  the  doctor,  who  assisted  me 
in  getting  my  poor  friend  to  bed;  which  being  done,  he  most  eagerly 
entreated  me  to  join  the  company.  This,  however,  I  firmly  but 
mildly  declined;  very  much  to  his  surprise;  for  as  he  remarked, 
"  They'll  all  be  like  lambs  now,  for  they  don't  believe  there's  a 
whole  bone  in  his  body." 

Expressing  my  deep  sense  of  the  Christian-like  forbearance  of  the 
party,  I  pleaded  fatigue,  and  bidding  him  good  night,  adjourned  to 
my  bedroom;  and  here,  although  the  arrangements  fell  somewhat 
short  of  the  luxurious  ones  appertaining  to  my  late  apartment  at 
Callonby,  they  were  most  grateful  at  the  moment;  and  having  "  ad- 
dressed myself  to  slumber,"  fell  fast  asleep,  and  only  awoke  late  on 
the  following  morning  to  wonder  where  I  was ;  from  any  doubts  as 
to  which  1  was  speedily  relieved  by  the  entrance  of  the  priest's  bare- 
footed "  colleen  "  to  deposit  on  my  table  a  bottle  of  soda  water,  and 
announce  breakfast,  with  his  reverence's  compliments. 

Having  made  a  hasty  toilet,  1  proceeded  to  the  parlor,  which,  how- 
ever late  events  might  have  impressed  upon  my  memory,  1  could 
scarcely  recognize.  Instead  of  the  long  oak  table  and  the  wassail 
bowl,  there  stood  near  the  fire  a  small  round  table,  covered  with  a 
snow-white  cloth,  upon  which  shone  in  unrivaled  brightness  a  very 
handsome  tea  equipage— the  hissing  kettle  on  one  hob  was  vis-d-vis'd 
by  a  gridiron  with  three  newly  taken  trout,  frying  under  the  rever- 
ential care  of  Father  Malachi  himself— a  heap  of  egg's  ranged  like 
shot  in  an  ordnance  yard,  stood  in  the  middle  of  the  table,  while  a 
formidable  pile  of  buttered  toast  browned  before  the  grate — the  morn- 
ing papers  were  airing  upon  the  hearth — everything  bespoke  that 
attention  to  comfort  and  enjoyment  one  likes  to  discover  in  the  house 
where  chance  may  have  domesticated  him  for  a  day  or  two. 

"Good  morning,  Mr.  Lorrequer.  I  trust  you  have  rested  well," 
said  Father  Malachi,  as  1  entered. 

"  Never  better;  but  where  are  our  friends?" 

"  1  have  been  visiting  and  comforting  them  in  their  affliction,  and 
I  may  with  truth  assert  it  is  not  often  my  fortune  to  have  three  as 
sickly-looking  guests.  That  was  a  most  unlucky  affair  last  night, 
and  1  must  apologize." 

"  Don't  say  a  word,  1  entreat;  I  saw  how  it  all  occurred,  and  am 
quite  sure  if  it  had  not  been  for  poor  Curzon's  ill-timed  melody " 

"  You  are  quite  right,"  said  the  father  interrupting  me.  "  Your 
friend's  taste  for  music — bad  luck  to  it! — was  the  '  teterrtma  causa 
belli.'" 

"  And  the  subscription,"  said  I;  "  how  did  it  succeed?" 

"  Oh,  the  money  went  in  the  commotion;  and  although  1  have  got 
some  seven  pounds  odd  shillings  of  it,  the  war  was  a  most  expensive 
one  to  me.  1  caught  old  Mahoney  very  busy  under  the  table  during 
the  fray;  but  let  us  say  no  more  about  it  now — draw  over  your  chair. 
Tea  or  coffee!  there's  the  rum  if  you  like  it  '  chasse.' ' 

1  immediately  obeyed  the  injunction,  and  commenced  a  vigorous 


56  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

assault  upon  the  trout,  caught,  as  he  informed  me,  "  within  twenty 
perches  of  the  house." 

"  Your  poor  friend's  nose  is  scarcely  regimental,"  said  he,  "  this 
morning;  and  as  for  Fin,  he  was  never  remarkable  for  beauty,  so, 
though  they  might  cut  and  hack,  they  could  scarcely  disfigure  him, 
as  Juvenal  says — isn't  it  Juvenal? 

"  '  Vacuus  viator  cantabit  ante  latronem:' 
or  in  the  vernacular: 

"  '  The  empty  traveler  may  whistle 

Before  the  robber  aud  his  pistil '  (pistol). 

There's  the  Chili  vinegar— another  morsel  of  the  trout?" 
"  I  thank  you:  what  excellent  coffee,  Father  Malachi!" 
"  A  secret  I  learned  at  St.  Omer's  some  thirty  years  since.     Any 
letters,  Bridget?"— to  a  damsel  who  entered  with  a  packet  hi  her 
hand. 

"  A  gossoon  from  Kilrush,  y'r  reverence,  with  a  bit  of  note  for  the 
gentleman  there." 

"Forme!— ah,  true  enough.  Harry  Lorrequer,  Esq.,  Kilrush— 
try  Carrigaholt. "  So  ran  the  superscription — the  first  part  being  in 
a  lady's  handwriting;  the  latter  very  like  the  "rustic  paling''  of 
the  worthy  Mrs.  Healy's  style.  The  seal  was  a  large  one,  bearing  a 
coronet  at  top,  and  the  motto  in  old  Norman-French  told  me  it 
came  from  Callonby. 

With  what  a  trembling  hand  and  beating  heart  I  broke  it  open, 
and  yet  feared  to  read  it — so  much  of  my  destiny  might  be  in  that 
simple  page.  For  once  in  my  life  my  sanguine  spirit  failed  me,  my 
mind  could  take  in  but  one  casualty,  that  Lady  Jane  had  divulged 
to  her  family  the  nature  of  my  attentions,  and  that  in  the  letter  be- 
fore me  lay  a  cold  mandate  of  dismissal  from  her  presence  forever. 

At  last  1  summoned  courage  to  read  it ;  but  having  scrupled  to 
present  to  my  readers  the  Reverend  Father  Brcnnan  at  the  tail  of  a 
chapter,  let  me  not  be  less  punctilious  in  the  introduction  of  her  lady- 
ship's billet. 


CHAPTER  VII. 
THE  LADY'S  LETTER — PETER  AND  HIS  ACQUAINTANCE — TOO  LATE. 

HER  ladyship's  letter  ran  thus: 

"  CALLONBY,  Tuesday  morning. 

"  MY  DEAR  MR.  LORREQUER, — My  Lord  has  deputed  me  to  con- 
rcy  to  you  our  adieus,  and  at  the  same  time  to  express  our  very  great 
regret  that  we  should  not  have  seen  you  before  our  departure  from 
Ireland.  A  sudden  call  of  the  House,  and  some  unexpected  minis- 
terial changes,  require  Lord  Callonby's  immediate  presence  in  town-, 
and  probably  before  this  reaches  you  we  shall  be  on  the  road.  Lord 
Kilkee,  who  left  us  yesterday,  was  much  distressed  at  not  having 
seen  you — he  desired 'me  to  say  you  shall  hear  from  him  from  Leam- 
ington. Although  writing  amid  all  the  haste  and  bustle  of  depart- 
ure, 1  must  not  forget  the  principal  part  of  my  commission,  nor 
lady-like  defer  it  to  a  postscript;  my  lord  entreats  that  you  will,  if 


HAHXY  LOPJIT:Q::;:II.  57 

possible,  pass  a  month  or  two  with  us  in  London  this  season ;  and 
if  any  difficulty  should  occur  in  obtaining  leave  of  absence,  to  make 
any  use  of  his  name  you  think  fit  at  the  Horse  Guards,  where  he  has 
some  influence.  Knowing,  as  I  do,  with  what  kindness  you  ever 
accede  to  the  wishes  of  your  friends,  1  need  not  say  how  much  grati- 
fication this  will  afford  us  all;  but,  sans  response,  we  expect  you. 
Believe  me  to  remain,  yours  very  sincerely, 

"  CHARLOTTE  CALLONBY. 

"  P.S.— We  are  all  quite  well  except  Lady  Jane,  who  has  a  slight 
cold  and  has  been  feverish  for  the  last  day  or  two." 

Words  cannot  convey  any  idea  of  the  torrent  of  contending  emotions 
under  which  1  perused  this  letter.  The  suddenness  of  the  depart- 
ure, without  an  opportunity  of  even  a  moment's  leave-taking,  com- 
pletely unmanned  me.  What  would  i  not  have  given  to  be  able  to 
see  her  once  more,  even  for  an  instant  to  say  "  agood-by  "—to  watch 
the  feeling  with  which  she  parted  from  me,  and  augur  from  it  either 
favorably  to  my  heart's  dearest  hope,  or  darkest  despair.  As  I  con- 
tinued to  read  on,  the  kindly  tone  of  the  remainder  reassured  me, 
and  when  1  came  to  the  invitation  to  London,  which  plainly  argued 
a  wish  on  their  part  to  perpetuate  the  indmacy,  1  was  obliged  to  read 
it  again  and  again,  before  1  could  convince  myself  of  its  reality. 
There  it  was,  however,  most  distinctly  and  legibly  impressed  in  her 
ladyship's  fairest  calligraphy;  and  certainly  great  as  was  its  conse- 
quence to  me  at  the  time,  it  by  no  means  formed  the  principal  part 
of  the  communication.  The  two  lines  of  postscript  contained  more, 
far  more  food  for  hopes  and  fears  than  did  all  the  rest  of  the  epistle. 

Lady  Jane  was  ill  then,  slightly  however — a  mere  cold;  true,  but 
she  was  feverish.  1  could  not  help  asking  myself  what  share  had  1 
in  causing  that  flushed  cheek  and  anxious  eye,  and  pictured  to  my- 
self, perhaps  with  more  vividness  than  reality,  a  thousand  little  traits 
of  manner,  all  proofs  strong  as  holy  writ  to  my  sanguine  mind,  that 
my  affection  was  returned,  and  that  I  loved  not  in  vain.  Again  and 
again  1  read  over  the  entire  letter;  never  truly  did  a  nisi  prius  lawyer 
con  over  a  new  act  of  Parliament  with  more  searching  ingenuity,  to 
detect  its  hidden  meaning,  than  did  1  to  unravel  through  its  plain 
phraseology  the  secret  intention  of  the  writer  toward  me. 

There  is  an  old  and  not  less  true  adage,  that  what  we  wish  we 
readily  believe;  and  so  with  me — I  found  myself  an  easy  convert  to 
my  own  hopes  and  desires;  and  actually  ended  by  persuading  myself 
—no  very  hard  task— that  my  Lord  Callonby  had  not  only  witnessed 
but  approved  of  my  attachment  to  his  beautiful  daughter,  and  for 
reasons  probably  known  to  him,  but  concealed  from  me,  opined  that 
1  was  a  suitable  "parti,"  and  gave  all  due  encouragement  to  my 
suit.  The  hint  about  using  his  lordship's  influence  at  the  Horse 
Guards  I  resolved  to  benefit  by;  not,  however,  in  obtaining  leave  of 
absence,  which  I  hoped  to  accomplish  more  easily,  but  with  his  good 
sanction  in  pushing  my  promotion,  when  1  claimed  him  as  my  right 
honorable  father-in-law — a  point  on  the  propriety  of  which  1  had 
now  fully  satisfied  myself.  What  visions  of  rising  greatness  burst 
upon  my  mind,  as  I  thought  on  the  prospect  that  opened  before  me! 
but  here  let  me  do  myself  the  justice  to  record  that,  amid  all  my 
pleasure  and  exultation,  my  proudest  thought  was  in  the  anticipation 


58  HARRY    LORREQUKR. 

of  possessing  one  in  every  way  so  much  my  superior — the  very  con- 
sciousness of  which  imparted  a  thrill  of  fear  to  my  heart  that  such 
good  fortune  was  too  much  even  to  hope  for. 

How  long  1  might  have  luxuriated  in  such  Chateaux  en  Espagne 
heaven  knows;  thick  and  thronging  fancies  came  abundantly  to  my 
mind,  and  it  was  with  something  of  the  feeling  of  the  porter  in  the 
Arabian  Nights,  as  he  surveyed  the  fragments  of  his  broken  ware, 
hurled  down  in  a  moment  of  glorious  dreaminess,  that  I  turned  to 
look  at  the  squat  and  uuaristocratic  figure  of  Father  Malachi,  as  he 
sat  reading  his  newspaper  before  the  fire.  How  came  I  in  such 
company;  methinks  the  Dean  of  AVindsor,  or  the  Bishop  of  Durham, 
had  been  a  much  more  seemly  associate  for  one  destined  as  1  was  for 
the  flood-tide  of  the  world's  favor. 

My  eye  at  this  instant  rested  upon  the  date  of  the  letter,  which  was 
that  of  the  preceding  morning,  and  immediately  a  thought  struck 
me  that,  as  the  day  was  a  lowering  and  gloomy  one,  perhaps  they 
might  have  deferred  their  journey,  and  I  at  once  determined  to  hasten 
to  Uallonby,  and,  if  possible,  see  them  before  their  departure. 

"  Father  Brennan, "  said  1,  at  length.  "I  have  just  received  a 
letter  which  compels  me  to  reach  if il  rash  as  soon  as  possible.  Is 
there  any  public  conveyance  in  the  village?" 

"  You  don't  talk  of  leaving  us,  surely,"  said  the  priest,  "  and  a 
haunch  of  mutton  for  dinner,  and  Fin  says  he'll  be  down,  and  your 
friend,  too,  and  we'll  have  poor  Beamish  in  on  a  sofa." 

"  I  am  sorry  to  say  my  business  will  not  permit  of  delay,  but,  if 
possible,  1  shall  return  to  thank  you  for  all  your  kindness,  in  a  day  or 
two— perhaps  to-morrow." 

"  Oh,  then,"  said  Father  Brennan,  "  if  it  must  be  so,  why  you 
can  have  '  Pether,'  my  own  pad,  and  a  better  you  never  laid  leg  over ; 
only  give  him  his  own  time,  and  let  him  keep  the  '  canter,'  and  he'll 
never  draw  up  from  morning  till  night;  and  now  I'll  just  go  and 
have  him  in  readiness  for  you." 

After  professing  my  warm  acknowledgments  to  the  good  father 
for  his  kindness,  I  hastened  to  take  a  hurried  farewell  of  Curzon  before 
going.  I  found  him  sitting  up  in  bed,  taking  his  breakfast;  a  large 
strip  of  black  plaster,  extending  from  the  corner  of  one  eye  across 
the  nose,  and  terminating  near  the  mouth,  denoted  the  locale  of  a 
goodly  wound,  while  the  blue,  purple  and  yellow  patches  into  which 
his  face  was  partitioned  out,  left  you  in  doubt  whether  he  now  re- 
sembled the  knave  of  clubs  or  a  new  map  of  the  Ordnance  survey; 
one  nand  was  wrapped  up  in  a  bandage,  and  altogether  a  more  rueful 
and  woe-begone  figure  I  have  rarely  looked  upon ;  and  most  certain- 
ly I  am  of  opinion  that  the  "  glorious,  pious  and  immortal  memory  " 
would  have  brought  pleasanter  recollections  to  Daniel  O'Connell  him- 
self than  it  would  on  that  morning  to  the  adjutant  of  his  majesty's 
4-th. 

"  Ah,  Harry,"  said  he,  as  I  entered,  "  what  Pandemonium  is  this 
we've  got  into?  Did  you  ever  witness  such  a  business  as  last 
night's?" 

"  Why,  truly,"  said  I,  "  I  know  of  no  one  to  blame  but  yourself; 
surely  you  must  have  known  what  a  fracas  your  infernal  song  would 
bring  on." 

"  I  don't  know  whether  I  knew  it  or  not;  but  certainly  at  the  mo 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  59 

ment  I  should  have  preferred  anything  to  the  confounded  cross-ex- 
amination I  was  under,  and  was  glad  to  end  it  l>y  any  coup  d'etat. 
One  wretch  was  persecuting  me  about  green  crops,  and  another 
about  the  feeding  of  bullocks;  about  either  of  which  I  knew  as  much 
as  a  bear  does  of  a  ballet." 

"  Well,  truly,  you  caused  a  diversion  at  some  expense  to  j'our 
countenance,  for  I  never  beheld  anything " 

"  Stop  there,"  said  he,  "  you  surely  have  not  seen  the  doctor — he 
beats  me  hollow — they  have  scarcely  left  so  much  hair  on  his  head 
as  would  do  for  an  Indian's  scalp  lock;  and,  of  a  verity,  his  as-p- •••:! 
is  awful  this  morning;  he  has  just  been  here,  and  by-the-bye  has  told 
me  all  about  the  affair  with  Beamish.  It  appears  that  somewhere  you 
met  him  at  dinner,  and  gave  a  very  flourishing  account  of  a  relative 
of  his  who  you  informed  him  was  not  only  selected  for  some  very 
dashing  service,  but  actually  the  personal  friend  of  Picton;  and, 
after  the  family  having  blazed  the  matter  all  over  Cork,  and  given  a 
great  entertainment  in  honor  of  their  kinsman,  it  turns  out  that,  on 
the  glorious  18th,  he  ran  away  to  Brussels  faster  than  even  the  French 
to  Charleroi ;  for  which  act,  however,  there  was  no  aspersion  ever 
cast  upon  his  courage,  that  quality  being  defended  at  the  expense  of 
his  honesty;  in  a  word,  he  was  the  paymaster  of  his  company,  and 
had.  what  Theodore  Hook  calls  an  '  affection  of  his  chest,'  that 
required  change  of  air.  Looking  only  to  the  running  away  part  of 
the  matter,  I  unluckily  expressed  some"  regret  that  he  did  not  belong 
to  the  North  Cork,  and  I  remarked  the  doctor  did  not  seem  to  relish 
the  allusion,  and  as  I  only  now  remember,  it  was  his  regiment,  I  sup- 
pose I'm  in  for  more  mischief." 

I  had  no  time  to  enjoy  Curzon's  dilemma,  and  had  barely  informed 
him  of  my  intended  departure,  when  a  voice  from  without  the  room 
proclaimed  that  ' '  Pether' '  was  ready,  and,  having  commissioned  the 
adjutant  to  say  the  "  proper"  to  Mr.  Beamish  and  the  doctor,  hurried 
away,  and  after  a  hearty  shake  of  the  hand  from  Father  Brennan, 
and  a  faithful  promise  to  return  soon,  I  mounted  and  set  off. 

Peter's  pace  was  of  all  others  the  one  least  likely  to  disturb  the 
lucubrations  of  a  castle-builder  like  myself;  without  any  admonition 
from  whip  or  spur  he  maintained  a  steady  and  constant  canter,  which, 
I  am  free  to  confess,  was  more  agreeable  to  sit,  than  it  was  graceful 
to  behold;  for  his  head  being  much  lower  than  his  tail,  he  every 
moment  appeared  in  the  attitude  of  a  diver  about  to  plunge  into  tlio 
water,  and  more  than  once  I  had  misgivings  that  I  would  consult 
uiv  safety  better  if  I  sat  with  my  face  to  the  tail;  however,  what 
will  not  habit  accomplish?  Before  I  had  gone  a  mile  or  two,  I  was  so 
lost  in  my  own  reveries  and  reflections  that  I  knew  nothing  of  my 
mode  of  progression,  and  had  only  thoughts  and  feelings  for  the  des- 
tiny that  awaited  me;  sometimes  I  would  fancy  myself  seated  in 
the  House  of  Commons  (on  the  ministerial  benches,  of  course),  while 
some  leading  oppositionist  was  pronouncing  a  glowing  panegyric 
upon  the  eloquent  ami  statesmanlike  speech  of  the  gallant  colonel — 
myself;  then  1  thought  I  was  making  arrangements  for  setting  out 
for  my  new  appointment,  and  Saucho  Panza  never  coveted  the 
government  of  an  island  more  than  I  did,  though  only  a  West 
Indian  one;  and  lastly,  I  saw  myself  the  chosen  diplomat  on  a  diffi- 
cult mission,  and  was  actually  engaged  in  the  easy  and  agreeable 


60  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

occupation  of  outmaneuvering  Talleyrand  and  Pozzp  di  Borgo,  when 
Peter  suddenly  drew  up  at  the  door  of  a  small  cabin,  and  convinced 
me  that  1  was  still  a  mortal  man,  and  a  lieutenant  in  his  majesty's 
4-th.  Before  I  had  time  afforded  me  even  to  guess  at  the  reason  of 
this  sudden  halt,  an  old  man  emerged  from  the  cabin,  which  I  saw 
now  was  a  road-side  ale-house,  and  presented  Peter  with  a  bucket  of 
meal  and  water,  a  species  of  "  viaticum"  that  he  evidently  was  ac- 
customed to,  at  this  place,  whether  bestrode  by  a  priest  or  an  em- 
bassador.  Before  me  lay  a  long  straggling  street  of  cabins,  irregu- 
larly thrown,  as  if  riddled  over  the  ground ;  this  I  was  informed  was 
Kilkee.  While  my  good  steed,  therefore,  was  enjoying  his  potation, 
I  dismounted,  to  stretch  my  legs  and  look  about  me,  and  scarcely  had 
I  done  so  when  I  found  half  the  population  of  the  village  assembled 
round  Peter,  whose  claims  to  notoriety,  I  now  learned,  depended 
neither  upon  his  owner's  fame,  nor  even  my  temporary  possession  of 
him.  Peter,  in  fact,  had  been  a  racer  once  —when,  the  Wandering 
Jew  might  perhaps  have  told  had  he  ever  visited  CJlare,  for  not  the 
oldest  inhabitant  knew  the  date  of  his  triumphs  on  the  turf;  though 
they  were  undisputed  traditions,  and  never  did  any  man  appear  bold 
enough  to  call  them  in  question;  whether  it  was  from  his  patriarchal 
character,  or  that  he  was  the  only  race-horse  ever  known  in  his 
county  I  cannot  say,  but  of  a  truth,  the  Grand  Lama,  could  scarce- 
ly be  a  greater  object  of  reverence  in  Thibet,  than  was  Peter  in 
Silkee. 

"  Musha,  Peter,  but  it's  well  y'r  looking,"  cried  one. 

"  Ah,  thin,  maybe  ye  an't  fat  on  the  ribs,"  cried  another. 

"  An'  cockin'  his  tail  like  a  coult,"  said  a  third. 

I  am  very  certain,  if  I  might  venture  to  judge  from  the  faces  about, 
that,  had  the  favorite  for  the  St.  Leger  passed  through  Kilkee  at 
that  moment,  comparisons  very  little  to  his  favor  had  been  drawn 
from  the  assemblage  around  me.  With  some  difficulty  I  was  per- 
mitted to  reach  my  much  admired  steed,  and  with  a  cheer,  which 
was  sustained  and  caught  up  by  every  denizen  of  the  village  as  I 
passed  through,  I  rode  on  my  way,  not  a  little  amused  at  my  equivo- 
cal popularity. 

Being  desirous  to  lose  no  time,  I  diverged  from  the  straight  road 
which  leads  to  Kilrush,  and  took  a  cross  bridle-path  to  Callonby; 
this  I  afterward  discovered  was  a  deiour  of  a  mile  or  two,  and  it  was 
already  sunset  when  I  reached  the  entrance  to  the  park.  I  entered 
the  avenue,  and  now  my  impatience  became  extreme,  for,  although 
Peter  continual  to  move  at  the  same  uniform  pace,  I  could  not  per- 
suade myself  that  he  was  not  foundering  at  every  step,  and  was  quite 
sure  we  were  scarcely  advancing;  at  last  I  reached  the  wooden  bridge, 
and  ascended  the  steep  slope,  the  spot  where  I  had  first  met  her,  on 
•whom  my  every  thought  now  rested.  I  turned  the  angle  of  the  clump 
of  beech  trees  from  whence  the  first  view  of  the  house  is  caught — I 
perceived  to  my  inexpressible  delight  that  gleams  of  light  shone  from 
many  of  the  windows,  and  couia  trace  their  passing  from  one  to  the 
other.  I  now  drew  rein,  and  with  a  heart  relieved  from  a  load  of 
anxiety,  pulled  up  my  good  steed,  and  began  to  think  of  the  position 
hi  which  a  few  brief  seconds  would  place  me.  I  reached  the  small 
flower  garden,  sacred  by  a  thousand  endearing  recollections.  Oh, 
of  how  very  little  account  are  the  many  words  of  passing  kindness, 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  61 

and  moments  of  light-hearted  pleasure,  when  spoken  or  felt,  com- 
pared to  the  memory  of  them  when  hallowed  by  time  or  distance. 

"  The  place,  the  hour,  the  sunshine  and  the  shade,"  all  reminded 
me  of  the  happy  past,  and  all  brought  vividly  before  me  every  por- 
tion of  that  dream  of  happiness  in  which  I  was  so  utterly — so  com- 
pletely steeped— every  thought  of  the  hopelessness  of  my  passion  was 
lost  in  the  intensity  of  it,  and  I  did  not,  in  the  ardor  of  my  loving, 
atop  to  think  of  its  possible  success. 

it  was  strange  enough  that  the  extreme  impatience,  the  hurried 
anxiety,  1  had  felt  and  suffered  from,  while  riding  up  the  avenue, 
had  now  fled  entirely,  and  in  its  place  I  felt  nothing  but  a  diffident 
distrust  of  myself,  and  a  vague  sense  of  awkwardness  about  intrud- 
ing thus  unexpectedly  upon  the  family,  while  engaged  in  all  the  cares 
and  preparations  for  a  speedy  departure.  The  hall-door  lay  as  usual 
wide  open,  the  hall  itself  was  strewn  and  littered  with  trunks,  im- 
perials, and  packing-cases,  and  the  hundred  et  ceteras  of  traveling 
baggage.  I  hesitated  a  moment  whether  I  should  not  ring,  but  at 
last  resolved  to  enter  unannounced,  and,  presuming  upon  my  inti- 
macy, see  what  effect  my  sudden  appearance  would  have  on  Lady 
Jane,  whose  feelings  toward  me  would  be  thus  most  unequivocally 
tested.  I  passed  along  the  wide  corridor,  entered  the  music-room — 
it  was  still— I  walked  then  to  the  door  of  the  drawing-room — I  paused 
— I  drew  a  full  breath — my  hand  trembled  slightly  as  I  turnetl  the 
lock — I  entered — the  room  was  empty,  but  the  blazing  fire  upon  the 
hearth,  the  large  arm-chairs  drawn  around,  the  scattered  books  upon 
the  small  tables,  all  told  that  it  had  been  inhabited,  a  very  short  time 
before.  Ah!  thought  I  looking  at  my  watch,  they  are  at  dinner,  and 
I  began  at  once  to  devise  a  hundred  different  plans  to  account  for  my 
late  absence  and  present  visit.  I  knew  that  a  few  minutes  would 
probably  bring  them  into  the  drawing-room,  and  I  felt  flurried  and 
heated  as  the  time  drew  near.  At  last  I  heard  voices  without — I 
started  from  the  examination  of  a  pencil-drawing  but  partly  finished, 
but  the  artist  of  which  I  could  not  be  deceived  in — I  listened — the 
sounds  drew  near — I  could  not  distinguish  who  were  the  speakers — 
the  door-lock  turned,  and  I  rose  to  make  my  well-conned,  but  half- 
forgotten  speech;  and  oh,  confounded  disappointment,  Mrs.  Herbert, 
the  housekeeper;  entered.  She  started,  not  expecting  to  see  me, 
and  immediately  said : 

'Oh!  Mr.  Lorrequer!  then  you've  missed  them. " 

'  Missed  them!"  said  I;  "how — when — where?" 

'  Did  you  not  get  a  note  from  my  lord?" 

'  No;  when  was  it  written?" 

'  Oh,  dear  me,  that  is  so  very  unfortunate.  Why,  sir,  my  lord 
sent  off  a  servant  this  morning  to  Kilrush,  in  Lord  Kilkee's  tilbury, 
to  request  you  would  meet  them  all  in  Ennis  this  evening,  where  they 
had  intended  to  stop  for  to-night;  and  they  waited  here  till  near  four 
o'clock  to-day,  but  when  the  servant  came  back  with  the  intelligence 
that  you  were  from  home,  and  not  expected  to  return  soon,  they 
were  obliged  to  set  out,  and  are  not  going  to  make  any  delay  now  till 
they  reach  London.  The  last  direction,  however,  my  lord  gave,  waa 
to  forward  my  ladyship's  letter  as  soon  as  possible." 

What  I  thought,  said,  or  felt,  might  be  a  good  subject  of  confes- 
sion to  Father  Malachi,  for  I  fear  it  may  be  recorded  among  my  sinsf 


62  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

as  I  doubt  not  that  the  agony  I  suffered  vented  itself  in  no  measured 
form  of  speech  or  conduct ;  but  I  have  nothing  to  confess  here  on  the 
subject,  being  so  totally  overwhelmed  as  not  to  know  what  I  did  or 
said.  My  first  gleam  of  reason  elicited  itself  by  asking: 

"  Is  there,  then,  no  chance  of  their  stopping  in  Ennis,  to-night?" 
As  I  put  the  question  my  mind  reverted  to  Peter  and  his  eternal 
canter. 

"  Oh,  dear,  no,  sir;  the  horses  are  ordered  to  take  them,  since 
Tuesday;  and  they  only  thought  of  staying  in  Ennis,  if  you  came 
time  enough  to  meet  them — and  they  will  be  so  sony. " 

'  Do  you  think  so,  Mrs.  Herbert?  do  you  indeed  think  so?"  said 


I, 


n  a  most  insinuating  tone. 


'  I  am  perfectly  sure  of  it,  sir. " 

'  Oh,  Mrs.  Herbert,  you  are  too  kind  to  think  so;  but  perhaps— 

that  is— maybe,  Mrs.  Herbert,  she  said  something " 

'Who,  sir?" 

'  Lady  Callonby,  I  mean ;  did  her  ladyship  leave  any  message  for 
me  about  her  plants?  or  did  she  remember " 

Mrs.  Herbert  kept  looking  at  me  all  the  time,  with  her  great  wide 
gray  eyes,  while  I  kept  stammering  and  blushing  like  a  school-boy. 

"  No,  sir;  her  ladyship  said  nothing,  sir;  but  Lady  Jane " 

"  Yes;  well,  what  of  Lady  Jane,  my  dear  Mrs.  Herbert?" 

"  Oh,  sir!  but  you  look  pale;  would  not  you  like  to  have  a  little 
wine  and  water — or  perhaps " 

"  No,  thank,  nothing  whatever;  I  am  just  a  little  fatigued— but 
you  were  mentioning " 

"Yes,  sir;  I  was  saying  that  Lady  Jane  was  mighty  particular 
about  a  small  plant;  she  ordered  it  to  be  left  in  her  dressing-room, 
though  Collins  told  her  to  have  some  of  the  handsome  ones  of  the 
green-house  she  would  have  nothing  but  this,  and  if  you  were  only 
to  hear  half  the  directions  she  gave  about  keeping  it  watered  and  tak- 
ing off  dead  leaves,  you'd  think  her  heart  was  set  on  it." 

Mrs.  Herbert  would  have  had  no  cause  to  prescribe  for  my  pale- 
ness had  she  only  looked  at  me  this  time;  fortunately,  however,  she 
•was  engaged,  housekeeper  like,  in  bustling  among  books,  papers  etc., 
which  she  had  come  in  for  the  purpose  of  arranging  and  packing  up. 
She  being  left  behind  to  bring  up  the  rear,  and  the  heavy  baggage. 

Very  few  moments'  consideration  were  sufficient  to  show  me  that 
pursuit  was  hopeless;  whatever  might  have  been  Peter's  perform- 
ance in  the  reign  of  "  Queen  Anne,"  he  had  now  become  like  the 
goose  so  pathetically  described  by  my  friend  Lover,  rather  "  stiff  in 
his  limbs,"  and  the  odds  were  fearfully  against  his  overtaking  four 
horses,  starting  fresh  every  ten  miles,  not  to  mention  their  being  some 
hours  in  advance  already.  Having  declined  all  Mr*.  Herbert's  many 
kind  offers  anent  food  and  rest,  I  took  a  last  lingering  look  at  the 
beautiful  picture,  which  still  held  its  place  in  the  room  lately  mine, 
and  hurried  from  a  place  so  full  of  recollections;  and  notwithstand- 
ing the  many  reasons  I  had  for  self -grat illation,  every  object  around 
and  about  filled  me  with  sorrow  and  regret  for  hours  that  had  passed 
—never,  never  to  return. 

It  was  very  late  when  I  reached  my  old  quarters  at  Kilrush;  Mrs. 
Healy  fortunately  was  in  bed  asleep-^-fortiiuately,  I  say;  for  had  she 
selected  that  occasion  to  vent  her  indignation  for  my  long  absence,  I 


HARRY    LOKREQUER.  63 

greatly  fear  that,  in  my  then  temper,  I  should  have  exhibited  but 
little  of  that  Job-like  endurance  for  which  I  was  once  esteemed;  I  en- 
tered my  little  mean-looking  parlor,  with  its  three  chairs  and  lame 
table,  and,  as  I  flung  myself  upon  the  wretched  substitute  for  a  sofa, 
and  thought  upon  the  varied  events  which  a  few  weeks  had  brought 
about,  it  required  the  aid  of  her  lad}rship's  letter,  which  I  opened 
before  me,  to  assure  me  I  was  not  dreaming. 

The  entire  of  that  night  I  could  not  sleep;  my  destiny  seemed 
upon  its  balance;  and  whether  the  scale  inclined  to  this  side  or  that, 
good  or  evil  fortune  seemed  to  betide  me.  How  many  were  my  plans 
and  resolutions,  and  how  often  abandoned;  again  to  be  pondered 
over,  and  once  more  given  up.  The  gray  dawn  of  the  morning  was 
already  breaking,  and  found  me  still  doubting  and  uncertain.  At 
last  the  die  was  "thrown;  I  determined  at  once  to  apply  for  leave  to 
my  commanding  officer  (which  he  could,  if  he  pleased,  give  me,  with- 
out any  application  to  the  Horse  Guards),  set  out  for  Elton,  tell  Sir 
Guy  my  whole  adventure,  and  endeavor,  by  a  more  moving  love 
story  than  ever  graced  even  the  Minerva  Press,  to  induce  him  to 
make  some  settlement  on  me,  and  use  his  influence  with  Lord  Cal- 
lonby  in  my  behalf;  this  done,  set  out  for  London,  and  then — and 
then— what  then? — then  for  the  Morning  Post—"  Cadeau  de  nbces  " 
— "  happy  couple  " — "  Lord  Callonby's  seat  in  Hampshire,"  etc,  etc. 

"  You  wished  to  be  called  at  five,  sir,"  said  Stutber. 

"  Yes;  is  it  five  o'clock?" 

"  No,  sir;  but  I  heard  you  call  out  something  about '  four  horses,' 
and  I  thought  you  might  be  hurried,  so  I  came  a  little  earlier." 

"  Quite  right,  Stubber,  let  me  have  my  breakfast  as  soon  as  possi- 
ble, and  see  that  chestnut  horse  I  brought  here  last  night,  fed. ' ' 

"  And  now  for  it,"  said  I,  after  writing  a  hurried  note  to  Curzon, 
requesting  him  to  take  command  of  my  party  at  Kilrush,  till  he 
heard  from  me,  and  sending  my  kindest  remembrance  to  my  three 
iriends ;  I  dispatched  the  epistle  by  my  servant  on  Peter,  while  I 
hastened  to  secure  a  place  in  the  mail  for  Ennis,  on  the  box  seat  of 
which  let  my  kind  reader  suppose  me  seated,  as  wrapping  my  box- 
coat  around  me,  I  lit  my  cigar  and  turned  my  eyes  toward  Limerick. 


CHAPTER  VIII 

CONGRATULATIONS— SICK  LEAVE — HOW  TO  PASS  THE  BOARD. 

I  HAD  scarcely  seated  myself  at  breakfast  at  Swineburne's  hotel  in 
Limerick,  when  the  waiter  presented  me  with  a  letter.  As  my  first 
glance  at  the  address  showed  it  to  be  in  Colonel  Garden's  handwrit- 
ing, I  felt  not  a  little  alarmed  for  the  consequences  of  the  rash  step 
I  had  taken  in  leaving  my  detachment;  and,  while  quickly  thronging 
fancies  of  arrest  and  court-martial  flitted  before  me,  I  summoned 
resolution  at  last  to  break  the  seal,  and  read  as  follows: 

"  .My  dear  Lorrequer,"  ("  dear  Lorrequer!"  dear  me,  thought  I, 
cool  certainly,  from  one  I  have  ever  regarded  as  an  open  enemy) — 
"  My  dear  L'orrequer,  I  have  just  accidentally  heard  of  your  arrival 
here,  ami  hasten  to  inform  you,  that,  as  it  may  not  be  impossible 
your  reasons  for  so  abruptly  leaving  your  detachment  are  known  to 


64  HARRY    LOKREQUER. 

me,  I  shall  not  visit  your  breach  of  discipline  very  heavily.  My  old 
and  worthy  friend,  Lord  Callonhy,  who  passed  through  here  yester- 
day, has  so  warmly  interested  himself  in  your  behalf,  that  I  feel  dis- 
posed to  do  all  in  my  power  to  serve  you ;  independently  of  my  de- 
sire to  do  so  on  your  own  account.  Come  over  here  then,  as  soon 
as  possible,  and  let  us  talk  over  your  plans  together. 
"  Believe  me  most  truly  yours, 

"  HENRY  CARDEN. 
"  Barracks,  10  o'clock." 

However  mysterious  and  difficult  to  unravel,  have  been  some  of 
the  circumstances  narrated  in  these  "  Confessions,"  I  do  not  scruple 
to  avow  that  the  preceding  letter  was  to  me  was  by  far  the  most 
inexplicable  piece  of  fortune  I  had  hitherto  met  with.  That  Lord 
Callonby  should  have  converted  one  whom  I  believed  an  implacable 
foe,  into  a  most  obliging  friend,  was  intelligible  enough,  seeing  that 
his  lordship  had  through  life  been  the  patron  of  the  colonel ;  but 
why  he  had  so  done,  and  what  communications  he  could  possibly 
have  made  with  regard  to  me,  that  Colonel  Garden  should  speak  o'f 
"  my  plans  "  and  proffer  assistance  in  them,  was  a  perfect  riddle; 
and  the  only  solution,  one  so  ridiculously  flattering  that  I  dared  not 
think  of  it.  I  read  and  re-read  the  note;  misplaced  the  stops,  can- 
vassed every  expression;  did  all  to  detect  a  meaning  different  from 
the  obvious  one,  fearful  of  a  self-deception  where  so  much  was  at 
stake.  Yet'there  it  stood  forth,  a  plain,  Straightforward  proffer  of 
services,  for  some  object  evidently  known  to  the  writer;  and  my  only 
conclusion,  from  all,  was  this,  that  "  my  Lord  Callonby  was  the  gem 
of  his  order,  and  had  a  most  remarkable  talent  for  selecting  a  son- 
in-law." 

I  fell  into  a  deep  reverie  upon  my  past  life,  and  the  prospects 
which  I  now  felt  were  opening  before  me.  Nothing  seemed  extrav-. 
agant  to  hopes  so  well  founded — to  expectations  so  brilliant— and,  in 
my  mind's  eye,  I  beheld  myself  at  one  moment  leading  my  young 
and  beautiful  bride  through  the  crowded  salons  of  Devonshire  House; 
and  at  the  next  I  was  contemplating  the  excellence  and  perfection 
of  my  stud  arrangements  at  Melton,  for  I  resolved  not  to  give  up 
hunting.  While  in  this  pleasurable  exercise  of  my  fancy,  I  was  re- 
moving from  before  me  some  of  the  breakfast  equipage,  or,  as  I  then 
believed  it,  breaking  the  trees  into  better  groups  upon  my  lawn,  I 
was  once  more  brought  to  the  world  and  its  dull  reality,  by  the  fol- 
lowing passage  which  my  eye  fell  upon  in  the  newspaper  before  me 
— "  We  understand  that  the  4-th  are  daily  expecting  the  route  for 
Cork,  from  whence  they  are  to  sail,  early  in  the  ensuing  month,  for 
Halifax,  to  relieve  the  88th."  While  it  did  not  take  a  moment's  con- 
sideration to  show  me  that  though  the  regiment  there  mentioned  was 
the  one  I  belonged  to,  I  could  have  no  possible  interest  in  the  an- 
nouncement; it  never  coming  into  my  calculation  that  I  should  sub- 
mit to  such  expatriation;  yet  it  gave  me  a  salutary  warning  that  there 
was  no  time  to  be  lost  in  making  my  application  for  leave,  which, 
once  obtained,  I  should  have  ample  time  to  manage  an  exchange  into 
another  corps.  The  wonderful  revolution  a  few  days  had  effected  in 
all  my  tastes  and  desires,  did  not  escape  me  at  this  moment.  But  a 
week  or  two  before  and  I  should  have  regarded  an  order  for  foreign 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  fi5 

service  as  anything  rather  than  unpleasant— now  the  thought  was 
insupportable.  Then  there  would  have  been  some  charm  to  me  in 
the  very  novelty  of  the  locale,  and  the  indulgence  of  that  vagrant 
spirit  I  have  ever  possessed;  for,  like  Just  ice  Woodcock,  "  I  certainly 
should  have  been  a  vagabond  if  Providence  had  not  made  me  a  jus- 
tice of  the  peace  "—now,  I  could  not  even  contemplate  the  thing  ae 
possible;  and  would  have  actually  refused  the  command  of  a  regi- 
ment, if  the  condition  of  its  acceptance  were  to  sail  for  the  colonies. 

Besides,  I  tried  -  -and  how  ingenious  is  self-deception — I  tried  to  find 
arguments  in  support  of  my  determination  totally  different  from  the 
reasons  which  governed  me.  I  affected  to  fear  climate,  and  to  dread 
the  effect  of  the  tropics  upon  my  health.  It  may  do  very  well, 
thought  I,  for  men  totally  destitute  of  better  prospects;  with  neither 
talent,  influence,  or  powerful  connection,  to  roast  their  cheeks  at 
Sierra  Leone,  or  suck  a  sugar  cane  at  St.  Lucia.  But  that  you,  Harry 
Lorrequer,  should  waste  your  sweetness  upon  planters'  daughters — 
that  have  only  to  be  known  to  have  the  world  as  your  feet!  The 
thing  is  absurd,  and  not  to  be  thought  of!  Yes,  said  I,  half  aloud — 
we  read  in  the  army  lists  that  Major  A.  is  appointed  to  the  50th,  and 
Captain  B.  to  the  12th;  but  how  much  more  near  the  truth  would  it 
be  to  say — "  That  His  Majesty,  in  consideration  of  the  distinguished 

services  of  the  one,  has  been  graciously  pleased  to  appoint  him  to 

a  case  of  blue  and  collapsed  cholera,  in  India;  and  also  for  the 
bravery  and  gallant  conduct  of  the  other,  in  his  late  affair  with  the 

4  HOW-DOW-DALLAH  INDIANS,  '  has  promoted  him  to  the yellpw 

fever  now  devastating  and  desolating  Jamaica."  How  far  my  zeal 
for  the  service  might  have  carried  me  on  this  point  I  know  not,  for 
I  was  speedily  aroused  from  my  musings  by  the  loud  tramp  of  feet 
upon  the  stairs,  and  the  sound  of  many  well-known  voices  of  my 
brother  officers,  who  were  coming  to  visit  me. 

44  So,  Harry,  my  boy,"  said  the  fat  major,  as  he  entered,  4<  is  it 
trap,  we  are  not  to  have  the  pleasure  of  your  company  to  Jamaica 
this  time?" 

"  He  prefers  a  pale  face,  it  seems,  to  a  black  one;  and  certainly, 
with  thirty  thousand  in  the  same  scale,  the  taste  is  excusable." 

44  But,  Lorrequer,"  said  a  third,  "  we  heard  that  you  had  canvassed 
the  county  on  the  Callonby  interest.  Why,  man,  wnere  do  you 
intend  to  pull  up?" 

"As  for  me,"  lisped  a  large-eyed,  white-haired  ensign  of  three 
months'  standing,  "  I  think  it  devilish  hard,  old  Garden  didn't  send 
me  down  there  too,  for  I  hear  there  are  two  girls  in  the  family.  Eh, 
Lorrequer?" 

Having,  with  all  that  peculiar  bashfulness  such  occasions  are  sure 
to  elicit,  disclaimed  the  happiness  my  friends  so  clearly  ascribed  to 
me,  I  yet  pretty  plainly  let  it  be  understood  that  the  more  brilliant 
they  supposed  my  present  prospects  to  be,  the  more  near  were 
they  to  estimate  them  justly.  One  thing  certainly  gratified  me 
throughout.  All  seemed  rejoiced  at  rny  good  fortune,  .and  even  the 
old  Scotch  paymaster  made  no  more  caustic  remark  than  that  he 
"  wadna  wonder  if  the  duel's  black  whiskers  wad  get  him  made 
governor  of  Stirling  Castle  before  he'd  dee." 

Should  any  of  my  most  patient  listeners  to  these,  my  humble  con- 
fessions, wonder  either  hire,  or  ^Isewhere,  upon  what  every  slight 


66  HAKRY    LORREQUER. 

foundation  I  built  these  my  "  Chateaux  en  Espagne,"  I  have  only 
one  answer — "  that  from  my  boyhood  I  have  had  a  taste  for  florid 
architecture,  and  would  rather  put  up  with  any  inconvenience  of 
ground  than  not  build  at  all." 

As  it  was  growing  late,  I  hurriedly  bade  adieu  to  my  friends,  and 
hastened  to  Colonel  Garden's  quarters,  where  I  found  him  waiting 
for  me,  in  company  with  my  old  friend,  Fitzgerald,  our  regimental 
surgeon.  Our  first  greetings  over,  the  colonel  drew  me  aside  into  a 
window,  and  said  that,  from  certain  expressions  Lord  Callonby  had 
made  use  of — certain  hints  he  had  dropped — he  was  perfectly  aware 
of  the  delicate  position  in  which  I  stood  with  respect  to  his  lordship's 
family.  "In  fact,  my  dear  Lorrequer,"  he  continued,  "without 
wishing  in  the  least  to  obtrude  myself  upon  your  confidence,  I  must 
yet  be  permitted  to  say,  you  are  the  luckiest  fellow  in  Europe,  and  I 
most  sincerely  congratulate  you  on  the  prospect  before  you." 

"  But,  my  dear  colonel,  I  assure  you " 

"  Well,  well,  there — not  a  word  more;  don't  blush  now.  I  know 
there  is  always  a  kind  of  secrecy  thought  necessary  on  these  occa- 
sions, for  the  sake  of  other  parties ;  so  let  us  pass  to  your  plans. 
From  what  I  have  collected,  jrou  have  not  yet  proposed  formally. 
But,  of  course,  you  desire  a  leave.  You'll  not  quit  the  army,  I  trust; 
no  necessity  for  that;  such  influence  as  yours  can  always  ap'point  you 
to  an  unattached  commission." 

"  Once  more,  let  me  protest,  sir,  that  though  for  certain  reasons 
toost  desirous  to  obtain  a  leave  of  absence,  I  have  not  the  most  re- 
mote  " 

"That's  right,  quite  right;  I  am  sincerely  gratified  to  hear  you 
say  so,  and  so  will  be  Lord  Callonby;  for  he  likes  the  service." 

And  thus  was  my  last  effort  at  a  disclaimer  cut  short  by  the 
loquacious  little  colonel,  who  regarded  my  unfinished  sentence  as  a 
concurrence  with  his  own  opinion. 

"  Allah  il  Allah,"  thought  I,  "it  is  my  Lord  Callonby  '&  own  plot; 
and  his  friend  Colonel  Garden  aids  and  abets  him." 

"Now,  Lorrequer,"  resumed  the  colonel,  "  let  us  proceed.  You 
have,  of  course,  heard  that  we  are  ordered  abroad,  mere  newspaper 
report  for  the  present;  nevertheless,  it  is  extremely  difficult — almost 
impossible,  without  a  sick  certificate,  to  obtain  a  leave  sufficiently 
long  for  your  purpose." 

And  here  he  smirked,  and  I  blushed,  salon  les  regies. 

"  A  sick  certificate,"  said  I,  in  some  suiprise. 

"  The  only  thing  for  you,"  said  Fitzgerald,  taking  a  long  pinch  of 
snuff;  "  and  I  grieve  to  say  you  have  a  most  villainous  look  of  good 
health  about  you." 

"  I  must  acknowledge  I»have  seldom  felt  better." 

"  So  much  the  worse— so  much  the  worse,"'  said  Fitzgerald,  de- 
spondingly.  ' '  Is  there  no  family  complaint ;  no  respectable  heirloom 
of  infirmity,  you  can  lay  claim  to  from  your  kindred?" 

"  None  that  I  know  of,  unless  a  very  active  performance  on  the 
several  occasions  of  breakfast,  dinner,  and  supper,  with  a  tendency 
toward  port,  and  an  inclination  to  sleep  ten  in  every  twenty-four 
hours,  be  a  sign  of  sickness;  these,  svmptoms  I  have  known  many 
of  the  family  suffer  for  years,  without  the  slightest  alleviation, 


HARRY    LORREQUER,  67 

though,  strange  as  it  may  appear,  they  ocasionally  had  medical  ad- 
vice." 

Fitz  took  no  notice  of  my  sneer  at  the  faculty,  but  proceeded  to 
strike  my  chest  several  times  with  his  finger  tips.  "  Try  a  short 
cough  now,"  said  he.  "  Ah,  that  will  never  do!" 

"  Do  you  ever  flush?    Before  dinner,  I  mean?" 

"  Occasionally,  when  I  meet  with  a  luncheon." 

"I'm  fairly  puzzled,"  said  poor  Fitz,  throwing  himself  into  a 
chair;  "  gout  is  a  very  good  thing;  but  then  you  see  you  are  only  a 
sub.,  and  it  is  clearly  against  the  articles  of  war  to  have  it  before 
being  a  field  officer  at  least.  Apoplexy  is  the  best  I  can  do  for  you ; 
and,  to  say  the  truth,  any  one  who  witnesses  your  performance  at 
mess  may  put  faith  in  the  likelihood  of  it.  Do  you  think  you  could 
get  up  a  fit  for  the  medical  board?"  said  Fitz,  gravely. 

"  Why,  if  absolutely  indispensable,"  said  I,  "  and  with  good  in- 
struction— something  this  way.  Eh,  is  it  not?" 

"  Nothing  of  the  kind;  you  are  quite  wrong." 

"  Is  there  not  always  a  little  laughing  and  crying?"  said  I. 

"  Oh,  no,  no;  take  the  cue  from  the  paymaster  any  evening  after 
mess,  and  you'll  make  no  mistake — very  florid  about  the  cheeks, 
rather  a  lazy  look  in  one  eye,  the  other  closed  up  entirely;  snore  a 
little  from  time  to  time,  and  don't  be  much  disposed  to  talk." 

"  And  you  think  I  may  pass  muster  in  this  way?" 

"  Indeed  you  may,  if  old  Camie,  the  inspector,  happens  to  be 
(what  he  is  not  often)  in  a  good  humor.  But  I  confess  I'd  rather  you 
were  really  ill,  for  we've  passed  a  great  number  of  counterfeits  lat- 
terly, and  we  may  all  be  pulled  up  ere  long." 

"  Not  the  less  grateful  for  your  kindness,"  said  I>  "  but  still  I'd 
rather  matters  stood  as  they  do." 

Having  at  length  obtained  a  very  formidable  statement  of  my 
"  case  "  from  the  doctor,  and  a  strong  letter  from  the  colonel,  deplor- 
ing the  temporary  loss  of  so  promising  a  young  officer,  I  committed 
myself  and  my  portmanteau  to  the  inside  of  his  Majesty's  mail,  and 
started  for  Dublin  with  as  light  a  heart  and  high  spirits  as  were  con- 
sistent with  so  much  delicacy  of  health,  and  the  directions  of  my 
doctor. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

THE  ROAD — TRAVELING  ACQUAINTANCES — A  PACKET  ADVENTURE. 

I  SHALL  not  stop  now  to  narrate  the  particulars  of  my  visit  to  the 
worthies  of  the  medical  board ;  the  rather,  as  some  of  my ' '  confessions 
to  come  "  have  reference  to  Dublin,  and  many  of  those  that  dwell 
therein.  I  shall  therefore  content  myself  here  with  stating  that  with- 
out any  difficulty  I  obtained  a  six  months'  leave,  and  having  received 
much  advice  and  more  sympathy  from  many  members  of  that  body, 
took  a  respectful  leave  of  them,  and  adjourned  to  Bilton's.  where  I 
had  ordered  dinner,  and  (as  I  was  advised  to  live  lowl  a  bottle  of 
Sneyd's  claret.  My  hours  in  Dublin  were  numbered ;  at  eight  o'clock 
on  the  evening  of  my  arrival  I  hastened  to  the  Pidgeon  House  pier 
to  take  my  berth  in  the  packet  for  Liverpool ;  and  here,  gentle  reader, 
let  me  implore  you,  if  you  have  bowels  of  compassion,  to  connaiser- 


68  HARRY  LORREQUER, 

ate  the  condition  of  a  sorry  mortal  like  myself.  In  the  days  of  which 
I  now  speak,  steam  packets  were  not — men  knew  not  then  of  the 
pleasure  of  going  to  a  comfortable  bed  in  Kingston  harbor  and  wak- 
ing on  the  morning  after  in  the  Clarence  dock  at  Liverpool,  wilh 
only  the  addition  of  a  little  sharper  appetite  for  breakfast,  before  they 
set  out  on  an  excursion  of  forty  miles  per  hour  through  the  air. 

In  the  time  I  have  now  to  commemorate,  the  intercourse  between 
the  two  countries  wras  maintained  by  two  sailing  vessels  of  small  ton- 
nage, and  still  scantier  accommodations.  Of  the  one  now  in  ques- 
tion, I  well  recollect  the  name— she  was  called  the  "  ALERT,"  and 
certainly  a  more  unfortunate  misnomer  could  scarcely  be  conceived. 
Well,  there  was  no  choice,  so  I  took  my  place  upon  the  crowded  deck 
of  the  little  craft,  and  in  a  drizzling  shower  of  chilly  rain,  and  amid 
more  noise  and  confusion  and  bustle  than  would  prelude  the  launch 
of  a  line  of -battle  ship,  we  "  sidled,"  goose-fashion,  from  the  shore 
and  began  our  voyage  toward  England. 

It  is  not  my  intention,  in  the  present  state  of  "  my  Confessions," 
to  delay  on  the  road  toward  an  event  which  influenced  so  powerfully, 
and  so  permanently,  my  after  life ;  yet  I  cannot  refrain  from  chroni- 
cling a  slight  incident  which  occurred  on  board  the  packet,  and  which, 
I  have  no  doubt,  may  be  remembered  by  some  of  those  who  throw 
their  eyes  on  these  pages. 

One  of  my  fellow  passengers  was  a  gentleman  holding  a  high 
oflicial  appointment  in  the  viceregal  court,  either  comptroller  of  the 
household,  master  of  the  horse,  or  something  else  equally  magnifi- 
cent; however,  whatever  the  nature  of  the  situation,  one  thing  is 
certain — one  possessed  of  more  courtly  manners,  and  more  polished 
address,  cannot  be  conceived,  to  which  he  added  all  the  attractions 
of  a  very  handsome  person  and  a  most  prepossessing  countenance. 
The  only  thing  the  most  scrupulous  critic  could  possibly  detect  as 
faulty  in  his  whole  air  and  bearing  was  a  certain  ultra  refinement 
and  fastidiousness,  which  in  a  man  of  acknowledged  family  and  con- 
nections was  somewhat  unaccountable,  and  certainly  unnecessary. 
The  fastidiousness  I  speak  of  extended  to  everything  round  and 
about  him ;  he  never  eat  of  the  wrong  dish,  nor  spoke  to  the  wrong 
man  in  his  life,  and  that  very  consciousness  gave  him  a  kind  of  horror 
of  chance  acquaintances  which  made  him  shrink  within  himself 
from  persons  in  eveiy  respect  his  equals.  Those  who  knew  Sir 
Stewart  Moore  will  know  I  do  not  exaggerate  in  either  my  praise  or 
censure,  and  to  those  who  have  not  had  that  pleasure,  I  have  only  to 
say  theira  was  the  loss,  and  they  must  take  my  word  for  the  facts. 

The  very  antithesis  to  the  person  just  mentioned  was  another  pas- 
senger then  on  board.  She — for  even  in  sex  they  were  different — she 
was  a  short,  squat,  red-faced,  vulgar-looking  woman,  of  about  fifty, 
possessed  of  a  most  garrulous  tendency,  and  talking  indiscriminately 
with  every  one  about  her,  careless  what  reception  her  addresses  met 
with,  and  quite  indifferent  to  the  many  rebuffs  she  momentarily  en- 
countered. To  me — by  what  impulse  driven  Heaven  knows — this 
amorphous  piece  of  womanhood  seemed  determined  to  attach  her- 
self. Whether  in  the  smoky  and  most  impenetrable  recesses  of  the 
cabin,  or  braving  the  cold  and  penetrating  rain  upon  do? -k,  it  mat- 
tered not,  she  was  ever  at  my  side,  and  not  only  martyring  me  by 
tlie  insufferable  annoyance  of  her  vulgar  loquacity,  but  actually, 


HARRY    LOUREQUER.  69 

from  the  appearance  of  acquaintanceship  such  constant  association 
gave  rise  to,  frightening  any  one  else  from  conversing  with  me,  and 
rendering  me,  ere  many  hours,  a  perfect  Pariah  among  the  passengers. 
By  no  one  were  we — for,  alas,  we  had  become  Siamese — so 
thoroughly  dreaded  as  by  the  refined  baronet  I  have  mentioned;  he 
appeared  to  shrink  from  our  very  approach,  and  avoided  us  as  though 
we  had  the  plagues  of  Egypt  about  us.  I  saw  this — I  felt  it  deeply, 
and  as  deeply  and  resolutely  I  vowed  to  be  revenged,  and  the  time 
was  not  long  distant  in  affording  me  the  opportunity. 

The  interesting  Mrs.  Mulrooney,  for  such  was  my  fair  companion 
called,  was  on  the  present  occasion  making  her  debut  on  what  she 
was  pleased  to  call  the  "  says;"  she  was  proceeding  to  the  Liverpool 
market  as  proprietor  and  supercargo  over  some  legion  of  swine  that 
occupied  the  hold  of  the  vessel,  and  whose  mellifluous  tones  were 
occasionally  heard  in  all  parts  of  the  ship.  Having  informed  me  on 
these,  together  with  some  circumstances  of  her  birth  and  parentage, 
she  proceeded  to  narrate  some  of  the  cautions  given  by  her 
friends  as  to  her  safety  when  making  such  a  long  voyage,  and  also 
to  detail  some  of  the  antiseptics  to  that  dreadful  scourge,  sea-sick- 
ness, in  the  fear  and  terror  of  which  she  had  come  on  board,  and 
seemed  every  hour  to  be  increasing  in  alarm  about. 

"  Do  you  think,  then,  sir,  that  pork  is  no  good  agin  the  sickness? 
Mickey,  that's  my  husband,  sir,  says  it's  the  only  thing  in  life  for  it, 
av  it's  toasted." 

"  Not  the  least  use,  I  assure  you." 

"  Nor  sperits  and  wather?" 

"  Worse  and  worse,  ma'am." 

"  Oh,  thin,  maybe  oaten  mail  tay  would  do?  it's  a  beautiful  thing 
for  the  stomick,  anyhow." 

"  Rank  poison  on  the  present  occasion,  believe  me." 

"  Oh,  then,  Blessed  Mary,  what  am  I  to  do — what  is  to  become  of 
me?" 

"Go  down  at  once  to  your  berth,  ma'am;  lie  still  and  without 
speaking  till  we  come  in  sight  of  land;  or,"  and  here  a  bright 
thought  seized  me,  "  if  you  really  feel  very  ill,  call  for  that  man 
there  with  the  fur  collar  on  his  coat ;  he  can  give  you  the  only  thing 
I  ever  knew  of  any  efficacy;  he's  the  steward,  ma'am;  Stewart 
Moore;  but  you  must  be  on  your  guard,  too,  as  you  are  a  stranger, 
for  he  is  a  conceited  fellow,  and  has  saved  a  trifle,  and  sets  up  for 
a  half  gentleman ;  so  don't  be  surprised  at  his  manner;  though,  after 
all,  you  may  find  him  very  different;  some  people,  I've  heard,  think 
him" extremely  civil." 

"  And  he  has  a  cure,  ye  say?" 

"  The  only  one  I  ever  heard  of;  it  is  a  little  cordial  of  which  you 
take,  I  don't  know  how  much,  every  ten  or  fifteen  minutes." 

"  And  the  nay gur  doesn't  let  the  saycret  out,  bad  manners  to  him  1" 

"  No,  ma'am;  he  has  refused  eveiy  offer  on  the  subject." 

"  May  I  be  so  bowld  as  to  ax  his  name  again?" 

"  Stewart  Moore,  ma'am.  Moore  is  the  name,  but  people  always 
call  him  Stewart  Moore;  just  say  that  in  a  loud,  clear  voice,  and 
you'll  soon  have  him." 

With  the  most  profuse  protestations  of  gratitude  and  promises  of 


70  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

pork  "  d  discretion,"  if  I  ever  sojourned  at  Ballinasloe,  my  fair 
friend  proceeded  to  follow  my  advice,  and  descended  to  the  cabin. 

Some  hours  after,  I  also  betook  myself  to  my  rest,  from  which, 
however,  toward  midnight,  I  was  awakened  by  the  heavy  working 
and  pitching  of  the  little  vessel,  as  she  labored  in  a  rougli  sea.  As 
I  looked  forth  from  my  narrow  crib,  a  more  woe-begone  picture  can 
scarcely  be  imagined  than  that  before  me.  Here  and  there  through 
the  gloomy  cabin  lay  the  victims  of  the  fell  malady,  in  every  stage 
of  suffering,  and  in  every  attitude  of  misery.  Their  cries  and  la- 
mentings  mingled  with  the  creaking  of  the  bulk-heads  and  the  jar- 
ring twang  of  the  dirty  lamp,  whose  irregular  swing  told  plainly  how 
oscillatory  was  our  present  motion.  I  turned  from  the  unpleasant 
sight  and  was  about  again  to  address  myself  to  slumber  with  what 
success  I  might,  when  I  started  at  the  sound  of  a  voice  in  the  very 
berth  next  to  me — whose  tones,  once  heard,  there  was  no  forgetting. 
The  words  ran  as  nearly  as  I  can  recollect  thus: 

"  Oh,  then,  bad  luck  to  ye  for  pigs,  that  ever  brought  me  into  the 
like  of  this.  Oh,  Lord,  there  it  is  again."  And  here  a  slight  inter- 
ruption to  eloquence  took  place,  during  which  I  was  enabled  to  re- 
flect upon  the  author  of  the  complaint,  who,  I  need  not  say,  was 
Mrs.  Mulrooney. 

"  I  think  a  little  tay  would  settle  my  stomach,  if  I  only  could  get 
it;  but  what's  the  use  of  talking  in  this  horrid  place?  They  never 
mind  me  no  more  than  if  I  was  .a  pig.  Steward,  steward — oh,  then, 
it's  wishing  you  well  I  am  for  a  steward.  Steward,  I  say,"  and  this 
she  really  did  say,  with  an  energy  of  voice  and  manner  that  startled 
more  than  one  sleeper.  "  Oh,  j^ou're  coming  at  last,  Stewart." 

"  Ma'am, "  said  a  little  dapper  and  dirty  personage,  in  a  blue  jacket, 
•  with  a  greasy  napkin  negligently  thrown  over  one  arm,  "ex  ojjkio," 
"  Ma'am,  did  you  call?" 

"  Call,  is  it  call?  No,  but  I  am  roaring  for  you  this  half -hour. 
Come  here.  Have  you  any  of  the  cordial  dhrops  agin  the  sickness? 
— you  know  what  I  mean." 

"  Is  it  brandy,  ma'am?" 

"  No,  it  isn't  brandy." 

"  We  have  got  gin,  ma'am,  and  bottled  porter — cider,  ma'am,  if 
you  like." 

"  Agh,  no!  sure  I  want  the  dhrops  agin  the  sickness." 

"  Don't  know,  indeed,  ma'am." 

"Ah,  you  stupid  creature!  maybe  you're  not  the  real  steward. 
What's  your  name?" 

"  Smith,  ma'am." 

"  Ah,  I  thought  so;  go  away,  man,  go  away." 

This  injunction,  given  in  a  diminuendo  cadence,  was  quickly 
obeyed,  and  all  was  silence  for  a  moment  or  two.  Once  more  was  I 
dropping  asleep  when  the  same  voice  as  before  burst  out  with: 

"  Am  I  to  die  here  like  a  haythen,  and  nobody  to  come  near  me? 
Steward,  steward,  steward  Moore,  I  say." 

"  Who  calls  me?'  said  a  deep  sonorous  voice  from  the  opposite  side 
of  the  cabin,  while  at  the  same  instant  a  tall  green  silk  night-cap, 
surmounting  a  very  aristocratic-looking  forehead,  appeared  between 
the  curtains  of  the  opposite  berth. 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  71 

"  Steward  Moore,"  said  the  lady  again,  with  her  eyes  straining  in 
the  direction  of  the  door  by  which  she  expected  him  to  enter. 

"This  is  most  strange,"  muttered  the  baronet,  half  aloud. 
"  Why,  madam,  you  are  calling  me!" 

"  And  if  I  am,  said  Mrs.  Mulrooney,  "  and  if  ye  heerd  me,  have 
ye  no  manners  to  answer  your  name,  eh!  Are  ye  steward  Moore?" 

"  Upon  my  soul,  ma'am,  I  thought  so  last  night  when  I  came  on 
board,  but  you  really  have  contrived  to  make  me  doubt  my  own 
identity." 

"  And  is  it  there  ye're  lying,  on  the  broad  of  yer  back,  and  me  as 
sick  as  a  dog  foment  ye?" 

"  I  concede,  ma'am,  the  fact;  the  position  is  a  most  irksome  one 
on  every  account." 

"  Then  why  don't  ye  come  over  to  me?"  and  this  Mrs.  Mul- 
rooney said  with  a  voice  of  something  like  tenderness — wishing  at 
all  hazards  to  conciliate  so  important  a  functionary. 

"  Why,  really  you  are  the  most  incomprehensible  person  I  ever 
met." 

"I'm  what?"  said  Mrs.  Mulrooney;  her  blood  rushing  to  her  face 
and  temples  as  she  spoke — for  the  same  reason  as  her  fair  towns- 
woman  is  reported  to  have  borne  with  stoical  fortitude  every  harsh 
epithet  of  the  language,  until  it  occurred  to  her  opponent  to  tell  her 
that  "  the  divil  a  bit  better  she  was  nor  a  pronoun;"  so  Mrs.  Mul- 
rooney, taking  "  omne  ignotum  pro  horribili,"  became  perfectly  be- 
side herself  at  the  unlucky  phrase.  "  I'm  what?  repate  it  av  ye 
dare,  and  I'll  tear  yer  eyes  out!  Ye  dirty  bla — guard,  to  be  lying 
there  at  yer  ease  under  the  blankets,  grinning  at  me.  What's  your 
trade — answer  me  that — av  it  isn't  to  wait  on  the  ladies,  eh?" 

"  Oh,  the  woman  must  be  mad!"  said  Sir  Stewart. 

"  The  divil  a  taste  mad,  my  dear — I'm  only  sick.  Now  just  come 
over  to  me,  like  a  decent  creature,  and  give  me  the  dhrop  of  comfort 
ye  have.  Come,  avick ! ' ' 

"  Go  over  to  you?" 

"  Ay,  and  why  not?  or  if  it's  so  lazy  ye  are,  why  then  I'll  thry 
and  cross  over  to  your  side. ' ' 

These  words  being  accompanied  by  a  certain  indication  of  change 
of  residence  on  the  part  of  Mrs.  Mulrooney,  Sir  Stewart  perceived 
there  was  no  time  to  lose,  and  springing  from  his  berth,  he  rushed 
half -dressed  through  the  cabin,  and  up  the  companion-ladder,  just 
as  Mrs.  Mulrooney  had  protruded  a  pair  of  enormous  legs  from  her 
couch,  and  hung  for  a  moment  pendulous  before  she  dropped  upon 
the  floor,  and  followed  him  to  the  deck.  A  tremendous  shout  of 
laughter  from  the  sailors  and  the  deck  passengers  prevented  my 
hearing  the  dialogue  which  ensued;  nor  do  I  yet  know  how  Mrs. 
Mulrooney  learned  her  mistake.  Certain  it  is,  she  no  more  appeared 
among  the  passengers  in  the  cabin,  and  Sir  Stewart's  manner  the  fol- 
lowing morning  at  breakfast  amply  satisfied  me  that  I  had  had  my 
revenge. 


72  HARRY    LORREQUER. 


CHAPTER  X. 

UPSET — MIND  AND  BODY. 

No  sooner  in  Liverpool,  than  I  hastened  to  take  my  place  in  the 
earliest  conveyance  for  London.  At  that  time  the  Umpire  Coach 
was  the  perfection  of  fast  traveling;  and  seated  behind  the  box,  en-- 
veloped  in  a  sufficiency  of  broadcloth,  I  turned  my  face  toward  town 
with  as  much  anxiety  and  as  ardent  expectations  as  most  of  those 
about  me.  All  went  on  in  the  regular  monotonous  routine  of  such 
matters  until  we  reached  Northampton,  passing  down  the  steep  street 
of  which  town,  the  near  wheel-horse  stumbled  and  fell;  the  ecu.:!;, 
after  a  tremendous  roll  to  one  side,  toppled  over  on  the  other,  ai;d 
with  a  tremendous  crash,  and  sudden  shock,  sent  all  the  outside, 
myself  among  the  number,  flying  through  the  air  like  sea-gul's.  As 
for  me,  after  describing  a  very  respectable  parabola,  my  angle  of  in- 
cidence landed  me  in  a  bonnet-maker's  shop,  having  passed  through 
a  large  plate-glass  window,  and  destroyed  more  leghorns  and  dun- 
stables  than  a  year's  pay  would  recompense.  I  have  but  light  recol- 
lection of  the  details:  of  that  occasion  until  I  found  myself  lying  in  a 
very  spacious  bed  at  the  George  Inn,  having  been  bled  in  both  arms, 
and  discovering  by  the  multitude  of  bandages  in  which  I  was  envel- 
oped that  at  least  some  of  my  bones  were  broken  by  the  fall.  That 
such  fate  had  befallen  my  collar-bone  and  three  of  my  ribs  I  soon 
learned,  and  was  horror-struck  at  hearing  from  the  surgeon  who  at- 
tended me,  that  four  or  five  weeks  would  be  the  very  earliest  period 
I  could  bear  removal  with  safety.  Here  then  at  once  was  a  large 
deduction  from  my  six  months'  leave,  not  to  think  of  the  misery 
that  awaited  me  for  such  a  time,  confined  to  my  bed  in  an  inn,  with 
out  books,  friends  or  acquaintances.  However  even  this  could  be 
remedied  by  patience,  and  summoning  up  ail  I  could  command,  I 
"  bided  my  time,"  but  not  before  I  had  completed  a  term  of  two 
months'  imprisonment,  and  had  become,  from  actual  starvation, 
something  very  like  a  living  transparency. 

No  sooner,  however,  did  I  feel  myself  once  more  on  the  road,  than 
my  spirits  rose,  and  I  felt  myself  as  full  of  high  hope,  and  buoyant 
expectancy  as  ever.  It  was  late  at  night  when  I  arrived  hi  London. 
I  drove  to  a  quiet  hotel  in  the  west-end,  and  the  following  morning 
proceeded  to  Portman-square,  bursting  with  impatience  to  see  my 
friends  the  Callonbys  and  recount  all  my  adventures — for  as  I  was  too 
ill  to  write  from  Northampton,  and  did  not  wish  to  intrust  a  stranger 
the  office  of  communicating  with  them,  I  judged  that  they  must  be 
exceedingly  xmeasy  on  my  account,  and  pictured  to  myself  the  thou- 
sand emotions  my  appearance  so  indicative  of  illness  would  give  rise 
to ;  and  could  scarcely  avoid  running  in  my  impatience  to  be  onca 
more  among  them.  How  Lady  Jane  would  meet  me,  I  thought  of 
again  and  ag_  ain ;  whether  the  same  cautious  reserve  awaited  me,  or 
whether  her  family's  approval  would  have  wrought  a  change  in  her 
reception  of  me,  1  burned  to  ascertain.  As  my  thoughts  ran  on  in 
this  way,  I  found  myself  at  the  door;  but  was  much  alarmed  to 


HAKUV    LOliKEQUEE.  73 

perceive  that  the  closed  window-shutters  and  dismantled  look  of 
the  house  proclaimed  them  from  home.  I  rang  the  bell,  and  soon 
learned  from  a  servant,  whose  face  I  had  not  seen  before,  that  the 
family  had  gone  to  Paris  about  a  month  before,  with  the  intention 
of  spending  the  winter  there.  I  need  not  say  how  grievously  this 
piece  of  intelligence  disappointed  me,  and  for  a  minute  or  two  I 
could  not  collect  my  thoughts.  At  last  the  servant  said : 

"  If  you  have  anything  very  particular,  sir,  that  my  lord's  lawyer 
can  do,  I  can  give  you  his  address." 

"  No,  thank  you — nothing;"  at  the  same  time  I  muttered  to  my- 
eelf,  "  I'll  have  some  occupation  for  him  though  ere  long.  The 
family  were  all  quite  well,  didn't  you  say?" 

"  Yes,  sir,  perfectly  well.     My  lord  has  only  a  slight  cold." 

"  Ah — yes — and  their  address  is  '  Meurice;'  very  well." 

So  saying  I  turned  from  the  door,  and  with  slower  steps  than  I  had 
come,  returned  to  my  hotel. 

My  immediate  resolve  was  to  set  out  for  Paris;  my  second  was  to 
visit  my  uncle,  Sir  Guy  Lorrequer,  lirst,  and  having  explained  to 
him  the  nature  of  my  position  and  the  advantageous  prospects  before 
me,  endeavor  to  induce  him  to  make  some  settlements  on  Lady 
Jane,  in  the  event  of  my  obtaining  her  family's  consent  to  our  mar- 
riage. This,  from  his  liking  great  people  very  much,  and  laying  great 
stress  upon  the  advantages  of  connection,  I  looked  upon  -AS  a  matter 
of  no  great  difficulty;  so  that,  although  my  hopes  of  happiness  were 
delayed  in  their  fulfillment,  I  believed  they  were  only  about  to  be 
the  more  securely  realized.  The  same  day  I  set  out  for  Elton,  and 
by  ten  o'clock  at  night  I  reached  my  uncle's  house.  I  found  the  old 
gentleman  looking  just  as  I  had  left  him  three  years  before,  com- 
plaining a  little  of  gout  in  the  left  foot — praising  his  old  specific,  port 
wine — abusing  his  servants  for  robbing  him — and  drinking  the  Duke 
of  Wellington's  health  every  night  alter  supper;  which  meal  1  had 
much  pleasure  in  surprising  him  at  on  my  arrival — not  having  eaten. 
since  my  departure  from  London. 

"Well,  Harry,"  said  my  uncle,  when  Ihe  servants  had  left  the 
room,  and  we  drew  over  the  spider-table  to  the  fire  to  discuss  our 
wine  with  comfort,  "  what  good  wind  has  blown  you  down  to  me, 
my  boy?  for  it's  odd  enough,  five  minutes  before  I  heard  the  wheels 
on  the  gravel  I  was  just  wishing  some  good  fellow  would  join  me  at 
the  grouse — and  you  see  I  have  had  my  wish !  The  old  story,  I 
suppose,  '  out  of  cash. '  Would  not  come  down  here  for  nothing — 
eh?  Come,  lad,  tell  the  truth;  is  it  not  so?" 

"Why,  not  exactly,  sir;  but  I  really  had  rather  at  present  talk 
about  you,  than  about  my  own  matters,  which  we  can  chat  over  to- 
morrow. How  do  you  get  on,  sir,  with  the  Scotch  steward?" 

"  He's  a  rogue,  sir — a  cheat — a  scoundrel;  but  it'is  the  same  with 
them  all;  and  your  cousin,  Harry — your  cousin,  that  I  have  reared 
from  his  infancy  to  be  my  heir  (pleasant  topic  for  me!) — he  cares  no 
more  for  me  than  the  rest  of  them,  and  would  never  come  near  me 
if  it  were  not  that,  like  .yourself,  he  was  hard  run  for  money  and 
wanted  to  wheedle  me  out  of  a  hundred  or  two." 

"  But  you  forget,  Kir — I  told  you  I  have  not  come  with  such  an 
object. " 


74  HARRY    LOkREQUEK. 

"  "We'll  see  that — we'll  see  that  in  the  morning,"  replied  he,  with 
an  incredulous  shake  of  the  head. 

"  But  Guy,  sir — what  has  Guy  done?" 

"  What  has  he  not  done?  No  sooner  did  he  join  that  popinjay 
set  of  fellows,  the  — th  hussars,  than  he  turned  out  what  he  calls 
a  four-in  hand  drag,  which  dragged  nine  hundred  pounds  out  of  my 
pocket — then  he  has  got  a  yacht  at  Cowes — a  grouse  mountain  in 
Scotland— and  has  actually  given  Tattersall  an  unlimited  order  to 
purchase  the  Wreckington  pack  of  harriers,  which  he  intends  to  keep 
for  the  use  of  the  corps.  In  a  word,  there  is  not  an  amusement  of 
that  villainous  regiment,  not  a  flask  of  champagne  drank  at  their 
mess,  I  don't  bear  my  share  in  the  cost  of;  all  through  the  kind 
offices  of  your  worthy  cousin,  Guy  Lorrequer." 

This  was  an  exceedingly  pleasant  expose  for  me,  to  hear  of  my 
cousin  indulged  in  every  excess  of  foolish  extravagance  by  his  rich 
uncle,  while  I,  the  son  of  an  elder  brother  who  unfortunately  called 
me  by  his  own  name,  Harry,  remained  the  sub.  in  a  marching  regi- 
ment, with  not  three  hundred  pounds  a  year  above  my  pay,  and 
•whom  any  extravagance,  if  such  had  been  proved  against  me,  would 
have  deprived  of  even  that  small  allowance.  My  uncle,  however, 
did  not  notice  the  chagrin  with  which  1  heard  his  narrative,  but 
continued  to  detail  various  instances  of  wild  and  reckless  expense 
the  future  possessor  of  his  ample  property  had  already  launched  into. 

Anxious  to  say  something  without  well  knowing  what,  I  hinted 
that  probably  my  good  cousin  would  reform  some  of  these  days  and 
marry. 

"  Marry,"  said  my  uncle;  "  yes,  that  I  believe  is  the  best  thing  we 
can  do  with  him ;  and  I  hope  now  the  matter  is  in  good  train — so  the 
latest  accounts  say,  at  least." 

"Ah,  indeed,"  said  I,  endeavoring  to  take  an  interest  where  I 
really  felt  none — for  my  cousin  and  1  had  never  been  very  intimate 
friends,  and  the  difference  in  our  fortunes  had  not,  at  least  to  my 
thinking,  been  compensated  by  any  advances  which  he,  under  the 
circumstances,  might  have  made  to  me. 

"  Why,  Harry,  did  you  not  hear  of  it?"  said  my  uncle. 

"  No — not  a  word,  sir." 

' '  Very  strange,  indeed — a  great  match,  Harry — a  very  great  match, 
/ndeed." 

"  Some  rich  banker's  daughter,"  thought  I.  "  What  will  he  say 
when  he  hears  of  my  fortune?" 

"  A  very  fine  young  woman,  too,  I  understand — quite  the  belle  of 
London — and  a  splendid  property  left  by  an  aunt." 

I  was  bursting  to  tell  him  of  my  affair,  and  that  he  had  another 
nephew,  to  whom  if  common  justice  were  rendered,  his  fortune  was 
as  certainly  made  for  life. 

"  Guy's  business  happened  this  way,"  continued  my  uncle,  who 
«  was  quite  engrossed  by  the  thought  of  his  favorite's  success.  "  The 
father  of  the  young  lady  met  him  in  Ireland,  or  Scotland,  or  some 
such  place,  where  he  was  with  his  regmient — was  greatly  struck 
with  his  manner  and  address — found  him  out  to  be  my  nephew — 
asked  him  to  his  house — and,  in  fact,  almost  threw  this  lovely  girl 
at  his  head  before  they  were  two  months  acquainted. " 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  75 

"  As  nearly  as  possible  my  own  adventure,"  thought  I,  laughing 
to  myself. 

"  But  you  have  not  told  me  who  they  are,  sir,"  said  I,  dying  to 
have  his  story  finished,  and  to  begin  mine. 

"  I'm  coming  to  that — I'm  coming  to  that.  Guy  came  down  here, 
but  did  not  tell  me  one  word  of  his  having  ever  met  the  family,  but 
begged  of  me  to  give  him  an  introduction  to  them,  as  they  were  hi 
Paris,  where  he  was  going  on  a  short  leave;  and  the  first  thing  I 
heard  of  the  matter  was  a  letter  from  the  papa,  demanding  from  me 
if  Guy  was  to  be  my  heir,  and  asking  how  fur  his  intentions  in  his 
family  met  with  my  approval." 

"  Then  how  did  you  know,  sir,  that  they  were  previously  known 
to  each  other?" 

"  The  family  lawyer  told  me  who  heard  it  all  talked  over." 

"  And  why,  then,  did  Guy  get  the  letter  of  introduction  from  you 
when  he  was  already  acquainted  with  them?" 

"'I  am  sure  I  cannot  tell,  except  that  you  know  he  always  does 
everything  unlike  any  one  else,  and  to  be  sure  the  letter  seems  to 
have  excited  some  amusement.  I  must  show  you  his  answer  to  my 
first  note  to  know  how  all  was  going  on ;  for  I  felt  very  anxious 
about  matters,  when  I  heard  from  some  person  who  had  met  them, 
that  Guy  was  everlastingly  in  the  house,  and  that  Lord  Callonby 
could  not  live  without  him." 

"  Lord  who,  sir?"  said  I,  in  a  voice  that  made  the  old  man  upset 
his  glass  and  spring  from  his  chair  in  horror. 

"  What  the  devil  is  the  matter  with  the  boy?  What  makes  you 
so  pale?" 

"  Whose  name  did  you  say  at  that  moment,  sir?"  said  I,  with  a 
slowness  of  speech  that  cost  me  agony. 

"  Lord  Callonby,  my  old  school-fellow  and  fag  at  Eton." 

"  And  the  lady's  name,  sir?"  said  I,  in  scarcely  an  audible  whisper. 

"  I'm  sure  I  forgot  her  name,  but  here's  the  letter  from  Guy,  and 
I  think  he  mentions  her  name  in  the  postscript." 

I  snatched  rudely  the  half-opened  letter  from  the  old  man,  as  he 
was  vainly  endeavoring  to  detect  the  place  he  wanted,  and  read  as 
follows : 

"My  adored  Jane  is  all  your  fondest  wishes  for  my  happiness 
could  picture,  and  longs  to  see  her  dear  uncle,  as  she  already  calls 
you  on  every  occasion. ' '  I  read  no  more — my  eyes  swam — the  paper, 
the  candles,  everything  before  me,  was  misty  and  confused ;  and 
although  I  heard  my  uncle's  voice  still  going  on,  I  knew  nothing  of 
what  he  said. 

For  some  time  my  mind  could  not  take  in  the  full  extent  of  the  base 
treachery  I  had  met  with,  and  I  sat  speechless  and  stupefied.  By  de- 
grees my  faculties  became  clearer,  and  with  one  glance  I  read  the 
whole  business,  from  my  first  meeting  with  them  at  Kilrush  to  the 
present  moment.  I  saw  that  in  their  attentions  to  me,  they  thought 
they  were  winning  the  heir  of  Elton,  the  future  proprietor  of  fifteen 
thousand  per  annum.  From  this  tangled  web  of  heartless  intrigue, 
I  turned  my  thoughts  to  Lady  Jane  herself.  How  had  she  betrayed 
me !  for  certainly  she  had  not  only  received,  but  encouraged  my  ad- 
dresses— and  so  soon  too.  To  think  that  at  the  very  moment  when 
my  own  precipitate  haste  to  see  her  had  involved  me  in  a  nearly  fatal 


76  HARRY    LORREQUEB. 

accident,  she  was  actually  receiving  the  attentions  of  another!  Oh, 
it  was  too,  too  bad. 

But  enough — even  now  I  can  scarcely  dwell  upon  the  memory  of 
that  moment,  when  the  hopes  and  dreams  of  many  a  long  day  and 
night  were  destined  to  be  thus  rudely  blighted.  I  seized  the  first 
opportunity  of  bidding  my  uncle  good  night;  and  having  promised 
him  to  reveal  all  my  plans  on  the  morrow,  hurried  to  my  room. 

My  plans!  alas,  I  had  none — that  one  fatal  paragraph  had  scattered 
them  to  the  winds;  and  I  threw  myself  upon  my  bed,  wretched  and 
almost  heart-broken. 

I  have  once  before  in  these  "  Confessions"  claimed  to  myself  the 
privilege  not  inconsistent  with  a  full  disclosure  of  the  memorabilia 
of  my  life,  to  pass  slightly  over  those  passages,  the  burden  of  which 
was  unhappy,  and  whose  memory  is  still  painful.  I  must  now, 
therefore,  claim  the  "  benefit  of  this  act,"  and  beg  the  reader  to  let 
me  pass  from  this  sad  portion  of  my  history,  and  for  the  full  expres- 
sion of  my  mingled  rage,  contempt,  disappointment,  and  sorrow,  let 
me  beg  of  him  to  receive  instead,  what  a  learned  pope  once  gave  as  his 
apology  for  not  reading  a  rather  polysyllabic  word  in  a  Latin  letter — 
"  As  for  this,"  said  he,  looking  at  the  phrase  in  question,  "  soit  qui'l 
dit,"  so  say  I.  And  now  en  route. 


CHAPTER  XI. 

CHELTENHAM— MATRIMONIAL  ADVENTURE— SHOWING  HOW  TO  MAKE 
LOVE  FOR  A  FRIEND. 

IT  was  a  cold  raw  evening  in  February  as  1  sat  in  the  coffee-room  of 
the  Old  Plough  in  Cheltenham,  Lvcuttus  c.  Lucullo — no  companion 
save  my  half -finished  decanter  of  port.  I  had  drawn  my  chair  to  the 
corner  of  the  ample  fire-place,  and  in  a  half  dreamy  state  was  review- 
ing the  incidents  of  my  early  life,  and  like  most  men  who,  however 
young,  have  still  to  lament  talents  misapplied,  opportunities  neglected, 
profitless  labor,  and  disastrous  idleness.  The  dreary  aspect  of  the 
large  and  ill- lighted  room — the  close  -curtained  boxes — the  unsocial 
look  of  everything  and  body  about  suited  the  habit  of  my  soul,  and  I 
was  on  the  verge  of  becoming  excessively  sentimental— the  un- 
broken .silence,  where  several  p  eople  were  present,  had  also  its  effect 
•  upon  rhe,  and  I  felt  oppressed  and  dejected.  So  sat  I  for  an 
hour;  the  clock  over  the  mantel  ticked  sharply  on — the  old  man  in 
the  brown  surtout  had  turned  in  his  chair,  and  now  snored  louder — 
the  gentleman  who  read  the  Times  had  got  the  Chromcle,  and  I 
thought  I  saw  him  nodding  over  the  advertisements.  The  father 
who,  with  a  raw  son  of  about  nineteen,  had  dined  at  six,  sat  still 
and  motionless  opposite  his  offspring,  and  only  breaking  the  silence 
around  by  the  grating  of  the  decanter  as  he  posted  it  across  the 
table.  The  only  thing  denoting  active  existence,  was  a  little  shriv- 
eled man,  who,  with  spectacles  on  his  forehead,  and  hotel  slippers 
on  his  feet,  rapidly  walked  up  and  down,  occasionally  stopping  at 
his  table  to  sip  a  little  weak-looking  negus,  which  was  his  moderate 
potation  for  two  hours.  I  have  been  particular  in  chronicling  theso 
few  and  apparently  trivial  circumstances,  for  by  what  mere  trifles 
are  our  greatest  and  most  important  movements  induced — had  the 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  77 

near  wheeler  of  the  Umpire  been  only  safe  on  his  fore  legs,  and 
while  I  write  this  I  might — but  let  me  continue.  The  gloom  and 
melancholy  which  beset  me  momentarily  increased.  But  three 
months  before,  and  my  prospects  presented  eveiything  that  was 
fairest  and  brightest — now  all  the  future  was  dark  and  dismal.  Then 
my  best  friends  could  scarcely  avoid  envy  at  my  fortune — now  my 
reverses  might  almost  excite  compassion  even  in  an  enemy.  It  was 
singular  enough,  and  I  should  not  like  to  acknowledge  it,  were  not 
these  Confessions  in  their  very  nature  intended  to  disclose  the  very 
penetralia  of  my  heart ;  but  singular  it  certainly  was  —and  so  I  have 
always  felt  it  since,  when  reflecting  on  it— that  although  much  and 
warmly  attached  to  Lady  Jane  Callonby,  and  feeling  most  acutely 
what  I  must  call  her  abandonment  of  me,  yet,  the  most  constantly 
recurring  idea  of  my  mind  on  the  subject  was,  what  will  the  mess 
say — what  will  they  think  at  headquarters ! — the  raillery,  the  jesting, 
the  half-concealed  allusion,  the  tone  of  assumed  compassion,  which 
all  awaited  me,  as  each  of  my  comrades  took  Tip  his  line  of  behavior 
toward  me,  was,  after  all,  the  most  difficult  thing  to  be  borne,  and  I 
absolutely  dreaded  to  join  my  regiment,  more  thoroughly  than  did 
ever  schoolboy  to  return  to  his  labor  on  the  expiration  of  his  holi- 
daj'S.  I  had  framed  to  myself  all  manner  of  ways  of  avoiding  this 
dread  event ;  sometimes  I  meditated  an  exchange  into  an  African 
corps — sometimes  to  leave  the  army  altogether.  However  I 
turned  the  affair  over  in  my  mind — innumerable  difficulties 
presented  themselves,  and  I  was  at  last  reduced  to  that  stand- 
still point,  in  which,  after  continual  vacillation,  one  only  waits  for 
the  slightest  impulse  of  persuasion  from  another,  to  adopt  any,  no 
matter  what,  suggestion.  In  this  enviable  frame  of  mind  I  sat  sip- 
ping wine,  and  watching  the  clock  for  that  hour  at  which,  with  a 
safe  conscience,  I  might  retire  to  my  bed,  when  the  waiter  roused 
me  by  demanding  if  my  name  was  Mr.  LoiTequer,  for  that  a  gentle- 
man having  seen  my  card  in  the  bar,  had  been  making  inquiry  for 
the  owner  of  it  all  through  the  hotel. 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  "  such  is  my  name;  but  I  am  not  acquainted  with 
any  one  here,  that  I  can  remember." 

"  The  gentleman  has  only  arrived  an  hour  since  by  the  London 
mail,  sir,  and  here  he  is." 

At  this  moment,  a  tall,  dashing-looking,  half -swaggering  fellow, 
in  a  very  sufficient  envelope  of  box-coats,  entered  the  coffee-room, 
and  unwinding  a  shawl  from  his  throat,  showed  me  the  honest  and 
manly  countenance  of  my  friend  Jack  Waller,  of  the  — th  dragoons, 
with  whom  I  had  served  in  the  Peninsula. 

Five  minutes  sufficed  for  Jack  to  tell  me  that  he  was  come  down 
on  a  bold  speculation  at  this  unseasonable  time  for  Cheltenham; 
that  he  was  quite  sure  his  fortune  was  about  to  be  made,  in  a  few 
weeks  at  furthest,  and  what  seemed  nearly  as  engrossing  a  topic — 
that  he  was  perfectly  famished,  and  desired  a  hot  supper,  "  de  suite." 

Jack  having  dispatched  this  agreeable  meal  with  a  traveler's  appe- 
tite, proceeded  to  unfold  his  plans  to  me  as  follows: 

There  resided  somewhere  near  Cheltenham,  in  what  direction  he 
did  not  absolutely  know,  an  old  East  India  colonel,  who  had  re- 
turned from  a  long  career  of  successful  staff-duties  and  government 
contracts,  with  the  moderate  fortune  of  two  hundred  thousand.  H« 


78  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

possessed,  in  addition,  a  son  and  a  daughter;  the  f owner  being  s. 
rake  and  a  gambler,  he  had  long  since  consigned  to  his  own  de- 
vices, and  to  the  latter  he  had  avowed  his  intention  of  leaving  all 
his  wealth.  That  she  was  beautiful  as  an  angel — highly  accom- 
plished— gifted — agreeable — and  all  that,  Jack,  who  had  never  seen 
her,  was  firmly  convinced;  that  she  was  also  bent  resolutely  on 
marrying  him,  or  any  other  gentleman  whose  claims  were  princi- 
pally the  want  of  money,  he  was  quite  ready  to  swear  to;  and,  in 
fact,  so  assured  did  he  feel  that  "  the  whole  affair  was  feasible  "  (I 
use  his  own  expression),  that  he  had  managed  a  two  mouths'  leave, 
and  was  come  down  express  to  see,  make  love  to,  and  carry  her  off 
at  once. 

"  But,"  said  I,  with  difficulty  interrupting  him,  "  how  long  have 
you  known  her  father?" 

"  Know  him?    I  never  saw  him." 

"  Well,  that  certainly  is  cool:  and  how  do  you  propose  making  his 
acquaintance.  Do  you  intend  to  make  him  a  particeps  criminis  in 
the  elopement  of  his  own  daughter  for  a  consideration  to  be  here- 
after paid  out  of  his  own  money?" 

"  Now,  Harry,  you've  touched  upon  the  .point  in  which,  you 
must  confess,  my  genius  always  stood  unrivaled — acknowledge,  if 
you  are  not  dead  to  gratitude-^-acknowledge  how  often  should  you 
have  gone  supperless  to  bed  in  our  bivouacs  in  the  Peninsula,  had  it 
not  been  for  the  ingenuity  of  your  humble  servant — avow,  that  if 
mutton  was  to  be  had,  and  beef  to  be  purloined,  within  a  circuit  of 
twenty  miles  round,  our  mess  certainly  kept  no  fast  days.  I  need  not 
remind  you  of  the  cold  morning  on  the  retreat  from  Burgos,  when 
the  inexorable  Lake  brought  five  men  to  the  halberds  for  stealing 
turkeys,  that  at  the  same  moment  I  was  engaged  in  devising  an  ox- 
tail soup  from  a  heifer  brought  to  our  tent  in  jack  boots  the  evening 
before,  to  escape  detection  by  her  foot  tracks." 

"  True,  Jack,  I  never  questioned  your  Spartan  talent;  but  this 
affair,  time  considered,  does  appear  rather  difficult." 

"  And  if  it  were  not,  should  I  have  ever  engaged  in  it?  No,  no, 
Harry.  I  put  all  proper  value  upon  the  pretty  girl,  with  her  two 
hundred  thousand  pounds  pin-money.  But  I  honestly  own  to  you 
the  intrigue,  the  scheme,  has  as  great  a  charm  for  me  as  any  part  of 
the  transaction." 

"  Well,  Jack,  now  for  the  plan!" 

"  The  plan!  oh,  the  plan.  Why,  I  have  several;  but  since  I  have 
seen  you,  and  talked  the  matter  over  with  you,  I  have  begun  to 
think  of  a  new  mode  of  opening  the  trenches." 

"  Why,  I  don't  see  how  I  can  possibly  have  admitted  a  single  new 
ray  of  light  upon  the  affair." 

"  There  you  are  quite  wrong.  Just  hear  me  out  without  interrup- 
tion and  I'll  explain.  I'll  first  discover  the  locale  of  this  worthy 
colonel — 'Hydrabad  Cottage'  he  calls  it;  good,  eh!— then  I  shall 
proceed  to  make  a  tour  of  the  immediate  vicinity,  and  either  be  taken 
dangerously  ill  in  his  grounds,  within  ten  yards  of  the  hall  door,  or 
be  thrown  from  my  gig  at  the  gate  of  his  avenue,  and  fracture  my 
skull;  I  don't  care  much  which.  Well,  then,  as  I  learn  that  the  old 
gentleman  is  the  most  kind,  hospitable  fellow  in  the  world,  he'll 
admit  me  *t  once;  his  daughter  will  tend  my  sick  couch — nurse— 


HARBT    LORREQUER.  79 

read  to  me.  glorious  fun,  Harry.  I'll  make  fierce  love  to  her;  and 
now,  the  only  point  to  be  decided  is  whether,  having  partaken  of  the 
colonel's  hospitality  so  freely,  1  ought  to  carry  her  off,  or  marry  her 
•with  papa's  consent.  You  see  there  is  much  to  be  said  for  either  line 
of  proceeding." 

"  I  certainly  agree  with  you  there;  but  since  you  seem  to  see  your 
way  so  clearly  up  to  that  point,  why,  I  should  advise  you  leaving 
that  an  '  open  question,'  as  the  ministers  say,  when  they  are  hard 
pressed  for  an  opinion." 

"  Well,  Harry,  I  consent;  it  shall  remain  so.  Now  for  your  part, 
for  I  have  not  come  to  that." 

"Mine!"  said  I  in  amazement;  "  why  how  can  I  possibly  have 
any  character  assigned  me  in  the  drama?" 

"  I'll  tell  you,  Harry,  you  shall  come  with  me  in  the  gig  in  the 
capacity  of  my  valet." 

"  Your  what?"  said  I,  horror-struck  at  his  impudence. 

"  Come,  no  nonsense,  Harry,  you'll  have  a  glorious  time  of  it — 
shall  choose  as  becoming  a  livery  as  you  like — and  you'll  have  the 
whole  female  world  below  stairs  dying  for  you:  and  all  I  ask  for 
such  an  opportunity  vouchsafed  to  you  is  to  puff  me,  your  master, 
in  every  possible  shape  and  form,  and  represent  me  as  the  most  lib- 
eral fellow  in  the  world,  rolling  in  wealth,  and  only  striving  to  get 
rid  of  it." 

The  unparalleled  effrontery  of  Master  Jack  in  assigning  to  me 
such  an  office,  absolutely  left  me  unable  to  reply  to  him ;  while  he 
continued  to  expatiate  upon  the  great  field  of  exertion  thus  open  to 
us  both.  At  last  it  occurred  to  me  to  benefit  by  an  anecdote  of  a. 
something  similar  arrangement  of  capturing,  not  a  young  lady,  but 
a  fortified  town,  by  retorting  Jack's  proposition. 

"  Come,"  said  I,  "  I  agree  with  only  one  difference — I'll  be  the 
master,  and  you  the  man  on  this  occasion." 

To  my  utter  confusion,  and  without  a  second's  consideration. 
Waller  grasped  my  hand,  and  cried,  "  done."  Of  course  I  laughed 
heartily  at  the  utter  absurdity  of  the  whole  scheme,  and  rallied  my 
friend  on  his  prospects  for  Botany  Bay  for  such  an  exploit,  never 
contemplating  in  the  most  remote  degree  the  commission  of  such  ex- 
travagance. 

Upon  this  Jack,  to  use  the  expressive  French  phrase,  "  pris  la 
parole,"  touching  with  a  master-like  delicacy  on  my  late  defeat 
among  the  Callonbys  (which  up  to  this  instant  I  believed  him  in  ig- 
norance of);  he  expatiated  upon  the  prospect  of  my  repairing  that 
misfortune,  and  obtaining  a  fortune  considerably  larger;  he  cau- 
tiously abstainedfrom  mentioning  the  personal  charms  of  the  young 
lady,  supposing  from  my  lachrymose  look  that  my  heart  had  not  yet 
recovered  the  shock  of  Lady  Jane's  perfidy,  and  rather  preferred  to 
dwell  upon  the  escape  such  a  marriage  could  open  to  me  from  the 
mockery  of  the  mess-table,  the  jesting  of  my  brother  officers,  and 
the  life  long  raillery  of  the  service,  wherever  the  story  reached. 

The  fatal  facility  of  my  disposition  so  often  and  so  frankly  chron- 
icled in  these  Confessions — the  openness  to  be  led  whither  any  one 
might  take  the  trouble  to  condiict  me— the  easy  indifference  to  as- 
sume any  character  which  might  be  pressed  upon  me,  by  chance, 
accident  or  design,  assisted  by  my  share  of  three  flasks  of  cham- 


80  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

pagne,  induced  me  first  to  listen — then  to  attend  to — soon  after  to 
suggest — and  finally,  absolutely  to  concur  in  and  agree  to  a  proposal 
which,  at  any  other  moment,  I  must  have  regarded  as  downright  in- 
sanity. As  the  clock  struck  two,  I  had  just  affixed  my  name  to  an 
agreement,  for  Jack  Waller  had  so  much  of  method  in  his  madness 
that,  fearful  of  my  retracting  in  the  morning,  he  had  committed  the 
whole  to  writing,  which,  as  a  specimen  of  Jack's  legal  talents,  I 
copy  from  the  original  document  now  hi  my  possession. 

"  The  Plough,  Cheltenham,  Tuesday  night  or  morning,  two 
o'clock — be  the  same  more  or  less.  I,  Harry  Lorrequer,  sub.  in  his 
majesty's  — th  regiment  of  foot,  on  the  one  part;  and  I,  John  Wal- 
ler, commonly  called  Jack  Waller,  of  the  — th  light  dragoons  on  the 
other;  hereby  promise  and  agree,  each  for  himself,  and  not  one  for 
the  other,  to  the  following  conditions,  which  are  hereafter  subjoined, 
to  wit,  the  aforesaid  Jack  Waller  is  to  serve,  obey,  and  humbly  fol- 
low the  afore-mentioned  Harry  Lorrequer,  for  the  space  of  one 
month  of  four  weeks,  conducting  himself  in  all  respects,  modes, 
ways,  manners,  as  his,  the  aforesaid  Lorrequer's  own  man,  skip, 
valet,  or  saucepan— duly  praising,  puffing,  and  lauding  the  aforesaid 
Lorrequer,  and  in  every  way  facilitating  his  success  to  the  hand  and 
fortune  of " 

"  Shall  we  put  in  her  name,  Harry,  here?"  said  Jack. 

"  I  think  not;  we'll  fill  it  up  in  pencil;  that  looks  very  knowing." 

" at  the  end  of  which  period,  if  successful  in  his  suit,  the  afore- 
said Harry  Lorrequer  is  to  render  to  the  aforesaid  Waller,  the  sum 
of  ten  thousand  pounds  three  and  a  half  per  cent,  with  a  faithful 
discharge  in  writing  for  his  services  as  may  be.  If,  on  the  other 
hand,  and  which  heaven  forbid,  the  aforesaid  Lorrequer  fail  in  ob- 
taining the  hand  of ,  that  he  will  evacuate  the  territory  within 

twelve  hours,  and  repairing  to  a  convenient  spot  selected,  by  the 
aforesaid  Waller,  then  and  there  duly  invest  himself  with  a  livery 
chosen  by  the  aforesaid  Waller " 

"  You  know,  each  man  uses  his  choice  in  this  particular,"  said 
Jack. 

" and  for  the  space  of  four  calendar  weeks,  be  unto  the 

aforesaid  Waller,  as  his  skip,  or  valet,  receiving,  in  the  event  of 
success,  the  alike  compensation  as  aforesaid,  each  promising  strictly 
to  maintain  the  terms  of  this  agreement,  and  binding,  by  a  solemn 
pledge,  to  divest  himself  of  every  right  appertaining  to  his  former 
condition,  for  the  space  of  time  there  mentioned." 

We  signed  and  sealed  it  foimally,  and  finished  another  flask  to  its 
perfect  ratification.  This  done,  and  after  a  hearty  shake  hands,  we 
parted  and  retired  for  the  night. 

The  first  thing  I  saw  on  waking  the  following  morning  was  Jack 
Waller  standing  beside  my  bed,  evidently  in  excellent  spirits  with 
himself  and  all  the  world. 

"  Harry,  my  boy,  1  have  dene  it  gloriously,"  said  he.  "  I  only  re- 
membered on  parting  with  you  last  night,  that  one  of  the  most 
marked  features  in  our  old  colonel's  character  is  a  certain  vague  idea, 
he  has  somewhere  picked  up,  that  he  has  been  at  some  very  remote 
period  of  his  history  a  most  distinguished  officer.  This  notion,  it 
appears,  haunts  his  mind,  and  he  absolutely  believea  he  has  been  in 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  81 

every  egagement,  from  the  seven  years  war,  down  to  the  Battle  of 
Waterloo.  You  cannot  mention  a  siege  he  did  not  lay  down  the  first 
parallel  for,  nor  a  storming  party  where  he  did  not  lead  the  forlorn 
hope;  and  there  is  not  a  regiment  in  the  service,  from  those  that 
formed  the  fighting  brigade  of  Picton,  down  to  the  London  tram- 
bands,  with  which,  to  use  his  own  phrase,  he  has  not  fought  and 
bled.  This  mania  of  heroism  is  droll  enough,  when  one  consider* 
that  the  sphere  of  his  action  was  necessarily  so  limited;  but  yet  we 
have  every  reason  to  be  thankful  for  the  peculiarity,  as  you'll  say, 
when  I  inform  you  that  this  morning  I  dispatched  a  hasty  messenger 
to  his  villa,  with  a  most  polite  note,  setting  forth  that  as  Mr.  Lorre- 
quer — ay,  Harry,  all  above  board — there  is  nothing  like  it — '  as  Mr. 
Lorrequer,  of  the  — th,  was  collecting  for  publication,  such  materials 
as  might  serve  to  commemorate  the  distinguished  achievements  of 
British  officers,  who  have,  at  any  time,  been  in  command — he  most 
respectfully  requests  an  interview  with  Colonel  Kamworth,  whose 
distinguished  services,  on  many  gallant  occasions,  have  called  forth 
the  unqualified  approval  of  his  majesty's  government.  Mr.  Lorre- 
quer's  stay  is  necessarily  limited  to  a  few  days,  as  he  proceeds  from 
this  to  visit  Lord  Anglesey;  and  therefore,  would  humbly  suggest 
as  early  a  meeting  as  may  suit  Colonel  K.  's  convenience. '  "What  think 
you  now?  Is  this  a  master-stroke  or  not?" 

"  Why,  certainly,  we  are  in  for  it  now,"  said  I,  drawing  a  deep 
sigh.  "  But  Jack,  what  is  all  this?  Why,  you're  in  livery  already!" 

I  now,  for  the  first  time,  perceived  that  Waller  was  arrayed  in  a  very- 
decorous  suit  of  dark  gray,  with  cord  shorts  and  boots,  and  looked  a 
very  knowing  style  of  servant  for  the  side  of  a  tilbury. 

"  You  like  it,  do  you?  Well,  I  should  have  preferred  something 
a  little  more  showy  myself;  but  as  you  chose  this  last  night,  I,  of 
course,  gave  way,  and  after  all,  I  believe  you're  right;  it  certainly  is 
neat." 

"  Did  I  choose  it  last  night?  I  have  not  the  slightest  recollection 
of  it." 

"  Yes,  you  were  most  particular  about  the  length  of  the  waistcoat, 
and  the  height  of  the  cockade,  and  you  see  I  have  followed  your 
orders  tolerably  close;  and  now,  adieu  to  sweet  equality  for  the  sea- 
son, and  I  am  your  most  obedient  servant  for  four  weeks — see  that 
you  make  the  most  of  it." 

While  we  were  talking,  the  waiter  entered  with  a  note  addressed 
to  me,  which  I  rightly  conjectured  could  only  come  from  Colonel 
Kamworth.  It  ran  thus : 

"  Colonel  Kamworth  feels  highly  flattered  by  the  polite  attention 
of  Mr.  Lorrequer,  and  will  esteem  it  a  particular  favor,  if  Mr.  L.  can. 
afford  him  the  few  days  his  stay  in  this  part  of  the  country  will  per- 
mit, by  spending  them  at  Hydrabad  Cottage.  Any  information  as 
to  Colonel  Kamworth 's  services  in  the  four  quarters  of  the  globe,  he 
need  not  say,  is  entirely  at  Mr.  L.  's  disposal. 

"  Colonel  K.  dines  at  six  precisely." 

When  Waller  had  read  the  note  through,  he  tossed  his  hat  up  in 
the  air,  and  with  something  little  short  of  an  Indian  whoop,  shouted 
out: 


82  HARRY    LORREQtJEB. 

"  The  game  is  won  already.  Harry,  my  man,  give  me  the  check 
for  the  ten  thousand:  she  is  your  own  this  minute." 

Without  participating  entirely  in  Waller's  exceeding  delight,  I 
could  not  help  feeling  a  growing  interest  in  the  part  I  was  advertised 
to  perform,  and  began  my  rehearsal  with  more  spirit  than  I  thought 
I  should  have  been  able  to  command. 

That  same  evening,  at  the  same  hour  as  that  in  which  on  the  pre- 
ceding I  sat  lone  and  comfortless  by  the  coffee-room  fire,  I  was  seated 
opposite  a  very  pompous,  respectable-looking  old  man,  with  a  large 
stiff  queue  of  white  hah-,  who  pressed  me  repeatedly  to  fill  my  glass 
and  pass  the  decanter.  The  room  was  a  small  library,  with  hand- 
somely fitted  shelves ;  there  were  but  four  chairs,  but  each  would  have 
made  at  least  three  of  any  modern  one ;  the  curtains  of  deep  crimson 
cloth  effectually  secured  the  room  from  draught;  and  the  cheerful 
wood  fire  blazing  on  the  hearth,  which  was  the  only  light  in  the 
apartment,  gave  a  most  inviting  look  of  comfort  and  snugness  to 
everything.  This,  thought  1,  is  excellent,"  and  however  the  advent- 
ure ends,  this  is  certainly  pleasant,  and  I  never  tasted  better  Ma- 
deira. 

"  And  so,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  you  heard  of  my  affair  at  Cantantrabad, 
when  I  took  the  Rajah  prisoner!" 

"  Yes,"  said  I;  "  the  governor-general  mentioned  the  gallant  busi- 
ness the  very  last  time  I  dined  at  Government- House. " 

"  Ah,  did  he?  kind  of  him,  though.  Well,  sir,  I  received  two 
millions  of  rupees  on  the  morning  after,  and  a  promise  of  ten  more 
if  I  would  permit  him  to  escape — but  no — I  refused  flatly." 

"  Is  it  possible?  and  what  did  you  do  with  the  two  millions? — sent 
them,  of  course " 

"  No;  that  I  didn't;  the  wretches  know  nothing  of  the  use  of 
money.  No,  no;  I  have  them  this  moment  in  good  government  se- 
curity. 

"  I  believe  I  never  mentioned  to  you  the  storming  of  Java.  Fill 
yourself  another  glass,  and  I'll  describe  it  all  to  you,  for  it  will  be  of 
infinite  consequence  that  a  true  narrative  of  this  meets  the  public 
eye — they  really  are  quite  ignorant  of  it.  Here  now  is  Fort  Corne- 
lius, and  there  is  the  moat,  the  sugar  basin  is  the  citadel,  and  the 
tongs  is  the  first  trench,  the  decanter  will  represent  the  tall  tower 
toward  the  sou'-west  angle,  and  here,  the  wine  glass — this  is  me. 
Well,  it  was  a  little  after  ten  at  night  that  1  got  the  order  from  the 
general  in  command  to  march  upon  this  plate  of  figs,  which  was  an 
open  space  before  Fort  Cornelius,  and  to  take  up  my  position  in  front 
of  the  Fort,  and  with  four  pieces  of  field  artillery — these  walnuts 
here — to  be  ready  to  open  fire  at  a  moment's  warning  upon  the  sou'- 
west  tower;  but  my  dear  sir,  you  have  moved  the  tower;  I  thought 
you  were  drinking  Madeira.  As  I  said  before,  to  open  my  fire  upon 
the  sou'-west  tower,  or  if  necessary  protect  the  sugar  tongs,  which  I 
explained  to  you  was  the  trench.  Just  at  the  same  time  the  besieged 
were  making  preparations  for  a  sortie  to  occupy  this  dish  of  almonds 
and  raisins— the  high  ground  to  the  left  of  my  position — put  another 
leg  on  the  fire,  if  you  please,  sir,  for  I  cannot  see  myself — 1  thought 
I  was  up  near  the  figs,  and  I  find  myself  down  near  the  half-moon." 

"  It  i»  past  nine,"  said  a  servant,  entering  the  room;  "  shall  I  tnkw 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  83 

the  carriage  for  Miss  Kam  worth,  sir?"  This  being  the  first  time  the 
name  of  the  young  \-M\y  was  mentioned  since  my  arrival,  I  felt  some- 
what anxious  to  hear  more  of  her,  in  which  laudable  desire  I  was 
not  however  to  be  gratified,  for  the  colonel,  feeling  considerably  an- 
noyed by  the  interruption,  dismissed  the  servant  by  saying: 

"  What  do  you  mean,  sirrah,  by  coming  in  at  this  moment;  don't 
you  see  I  am  preparing  for  the  attack  on  the  half -moon?  Mr.  Lor- 
requer,  I  beg  your  pardon  for  one  moment;  this  fellow  has  com- 
pletely put  me  out;  and  besides,  I  perceive,  you  have  eat  en  the  flying 
artillery,  and  in  fact,  my  dear  sir,  I  shall  be  obliged  to  lay  down  the 
position  again." 

With  this  praiseworthy  interest  the  colonel  proceeded  to  arrange 
the  "  materiel"  of  our  dessert  in  battle  array,  when  the  door  was  sud- 
denly thrown  open,  and  a  very  handsome  girl,  in  a  most  becoming 
demt  toilette,  sprung  into  the  room,  and  either  not  noticing  or  not 
caring  that  a  stranger  was  present,  threw  herself  into  the  old  gentle- 
man's arms,  with  a  degree  of  emprcssement  exceedingly  vexatious  for 
any  third  and  unoccupied  party  to  witness. 

"Mary,  my  dear,"  said  the  colonel,  completely  forgetting  Java 
and  Fort  Cornelius  at  once,  "  you  don't  perceive  I  have  a  gentleman 
to  introduce  to  you;  Mr.  Lorrequer,  my  daughter,  MissKamworth;" 
here  the  young  lady  courtesied  somewhat  stiffly,  and  I  bowed  rever- 
ently ;  and  we  all  resumed  places.  I  now  found  out  that  Miss  Kam- 
worth  had  been  spending  the  preceding  four  or  five  days  at  a  friend's 
in  the  neighborhood,  and  had  preferred  coming  home  somewhat  un- 
expectedly to  waiting  for  her  own  carriage. 

My  Confessions,  if  recorded  verbatim,  from  the  notes  of  that  four 
weeks'  sojourn,  would  only  increase  the  already  too  prolix  and  un- 
interesting details  of  this  chapter  in  my  life ;  I  need  only  say  that 
without  falling  hi  love  with  Mary  Kamworth,  I  felt  prodigiously 
disposed  thereto;  she  was  extremely  pretty;  had  a  foot  and  ankle  to 
swear  by,  the  most  silvery  toned  voice  I  almost  ever  heard,  and  a 
certain  witchery  and  archness  of  manner  that  by  its  very  tantalizing 
uncertainty  continually  provoked  attention,  and  by  suggesting  a 
difficulty  in  the  road  to  success,  imparted  a  more  than  common  zest 
in  the  pursuit.  She  was  a  little,  a  very  little  blue,  rather  a  dabbler 
in  the  "  ologies,"  than  a  real  disciple.  Yet  she  made  collections  of 
minerals,  and  brown  beetles,  and  cryptogamias,  and  various  other 
homeopathic  doses  of  the  creation,  infinitesimally  small  in  their  sub- 
division ;  in  none  of  which  I  felt  any  interest,  save  in  the  excuse  they 
gave  for  accompanying  her  in  her  pony-phaeton.  This  was,  how- 
ever, a  rare  pleasure,  for  every  morning  for  at  least  three  or  four 
hours  I  was  obliged  to  sit  opposite  the  colonel,  engaged  in  the  compila- 
tion of  that  narrative  of  his  res  genta,  which  was  to  eclipse  the  career 
of  Napoleon  and  leave  Wellington's  laurels  but  a  very  faded  luster 
in  comparison.  In  this  agreeable  occupation  did  I  pass  the  greater 
part  of  my  day,  listening  to  the  insufferable  prolixity  of  the  most 
prolix  of  colonels,  and  at  times,  notwithstanding  the  propinquity  of 
relationship  which  awaited  us,  almost  regretting  that  he  was  not 
blown  up  in  any  of  the  numerous  explosions  his  memoir  abounded 
with.  I  may  here  mention,  that  while  my  literary  labor  was  thus 
progressing,  the  young  lady  continued  her  avocations  as  before — not 


84  HARRY    LORREQUEB. 

indeed  with  me  for  her  companion — but  Waller;  foi  Colonel  Kam 
worth,  "having  remarked  the  steadiness  and  propriety  of  my  man, 
felt  no  scruple  in  sending  him  out  to  drive  Miss  Kamworth,"  partic- 
ularly as  I  gave  him  a  most  excellent  character  for  every  virtue  un 
der  Heaven. 

1  must  hasten  on : — The  last  evening  of  my  four  weeks  was  draw- 
ing to  a  close.  Colonel  Kamworth  had  pressed  me  to  prolong  my 
visit,  and  1  only  waited  for  Waller's  return  from  Cheltenham, 
whither  1  had  sent  him  for  my  letters,  to  make  arrangements  with 
him  to  absolve  me  from  my  ridiculous  bond,  and  accept  the  invita- 
tion. We  were  sitting  round  the  libraiy  fire,  the  colonel,  as  usual, 
narrating  his  early  deeds  and  hair-breadth  'scapes;  Mary,  embroider- 
ing an  indescribable  something  ,  which  every  evening  made  its  ap- 
pearance, but  seemed  never  to  advance,  was  rather  in  better  spirits 
than  usual,  at  the  same  time  her  manner  was  nervous  and  and  un- 
certain ;  and  I  could  perceive  by  her  frequent  absence  of  mind,  that 
her  thoughts  were  not  so  much  occupied  by  the  siege  of  Java  as  her 
worthy  father  believed  them.  Without  laying  any  stress  upon  the 
circumstance,  I  must  yet  avow  that  Waller's  not  having  returned 
from  Cheltenham  gave  me  some  uneasiness,  and  I  more  than  once 
had  recourse  to  the  bell  to  demand  if  "  my  servant  had  come  back 
yet?"  At  each  of  these  tunes  1  well  remember  the  peculiar  expres- 
sion of  Mary's  look,  the  half  embarrassment,  half  drollery,  with 
which  she  listened  to  the  question,  and  heard  the  answer  in  the  neg- 
ative. Supper  at  length  made  its  appearance;  and  I  asked  the  serv- 
ant who  waited,  '  if  my  man  had  brought  me  any  letters,"  varying 
my  inquiry  to  conceal  my  anxiety;,  and  again  1  heard  he  had  not 
returned.  Resolving  now  to  propose  in  all  form  for  Miss  Kamworlli 
the  next  morning,  and  by  referring  the  colonel  to  my  uncle  Sir  Guy, 
smooth,  as  far  as  I  could,  all  difficulties,  1  wished  them  good-niivht 
and  retired;  not,  however,  before  the  colonel  had  warned  me  that 
they  were  to  have  an  excursion  to  some  place  in  the  neighborhood 
the  next  day;  and  begging  that  I  might  be  in  the  breakfast-room  at 
nine,  as  they  were  to  assemble  there  from  all  parts,  and  start  early 
on  the  expedition.  I  was  in  a  sound  sleep  the  following  morning, 
when  a  gentle  tap  at  the  door  awoke  me ;  at  the  same  time  I  recog- 
nized the  voice  of  the  colonel  s  servant,  saying,  "  Mr.  Lorrequer, 
breakfast  is  waiting,  sir." 

I  sprung  up  at  once,  and  replying,  "  Very  well,  1  shall  come 
down,"  proceeded  to  dress  in  all  haste,  but  to  my  horror,  I  could 
not  discern  a  vestige  of  my  clothes ;  nothing  remained  of  the  habili- 
ments 1  possessed  only  the  day  before — even  my  portmanteau  had 
disappeared.  After  a  most  diligent  search,  1  discovered,  on  a  chair 
in  the  corner  of  the  room,  a  small  bundle  tied  up  in  a  handkerchief, 
on  opening  which  T  perceived  a  new  suit  of  livery  of  the  most  gaudy 
and  showy  description;  the  vest  and  breeches  of  yellow  plush,  with 
light  blue  binding  and  lace;  of  which  color  was  also  the  coat,  which 
had  a  standing  collar  and  huge  cuffs,  deeply  ornamented  with  worked 
button  holes  and  large  buttons.  As  I  turned  the  things  over,  wish- 
out  even  a  guess  of  what  they  could  mean,  for  1  was  scarcely  well 
awake,  1  perceived  a  small  slip  of  paper  fastened  to  the  coat  sleeve, 
upon  which,  in  Waller's  handwriting,  the  following  words  were 
written: 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  85 

'•  The  livery  1  hope  will  fit  you,  as  I  am  rather  particular  about 
how  you'll  look;  get  quietly  down  the  stable-yard,  and  drive  the 
tilbury  into  Cheltenham,  where  wait  for  further  orders  from  your 
kind  master. 

"  JOHH  WALLEB." 

The  horrible  villainy  of  this  wild  scamp  actually  paralyzed  me. 
That  1  should1  put  on  such  ridiculous  trumpery  was  out  of  the  ques- 
tion; yet  what  was  to  be  done?  I  rang  the  bell  violently;  "  Where 
are  my  clothes,  Thomas?" 

"  Don't  know,  sir;  1  was  out  all  the  morning,  sir,  and  never  seed 
them." 

"  There,  Thomas,  be  smart  now,  and  send  them  up,  will  you?" 
Thomas  disappeared,  and  speedily  returned  to  say,  "  that  my  clothes 
could  not  be  found  anywhere;  no  one  knew  anything  of  them,  and 
begged  me  to  come  down,  as  Miss  Kamworth  desired  him  to  say  that 
they  were  still  waiting,  and  she  begged  Mr.  Lorrequer  would  not 
make  an  elaborate  toilet,  as  they  were  going  on  a  country  excursion." 

An  elaborate  toilet!  1  wish  to  heaven  she  saw  my  costume;  no, 
I'll  never  do  it.  "Thomas,  you  must  tell  the  ladies,  and  the  col- 
onel, too,  that  1  feel  very  ill;  1  am  not  able  to  leave  my  bed;  1  am 
subject  to  attacks— very  violent  attacks  in  my  head,  and  must  always 
be  left  quiet  and  alone — perfectly  alone— mind  me,  Thomas— for  a 
day  at  least."  Thomas  departed;  and  as  I  lay  distracted  in  my  bed, 
I  heard,  from  the  breakfast  room,  the  loud  laughter  of  many  persons 
evidently  enjoying  some  excellent  joke;  could  it  be  me  they  were 
laughing  at ;  the  thought  was  horrible. 

"  Colonel  Kamworth  wishes  to  know  if  you'd  like  the  doctor,  sir," 
said  Thomas,  evidently  suppressing  a  most  inveterate  fit  of  laughing, 
as  he  again  appeared  at  the  door. 

"No,  certainly  not,"  said  I,  in  a  voice  of  thunder;  "what  the 
devil  are  you  grinning  at?" 

"  You  may  as  well  come,  my  man;  you're  found  out:  they  ail 
know  it  now,"  said  the  fellow  with  an  odious  grin. 

I  jumped  out  of  the  bed,  and  hurled  the  boot- jack  at  him  with  all 
my  strength ;  but  had  only  the  satisfaction  to  hear  him  go  down 
stairs  chuckling  at  his  escape;  and  as  he  reached  the  parlor,  the  in- 
crease of  mirth  and  the  loudness  of  the  laughter  told  me  that  he  was 
not  the  only  one  who  was  merry  at  my  expense.  Anything  was  pref- 
erable to  this;  down  stairs  I  resolved  to  go  at  once — but  how;  a 
blanket,  I  thought,  would  not  be  a  bad  thing,  and  particularly  as  I 
had  said  I  was  ill;  I  could  at  least  get  as  far  as  Colonel  Kamworth 's 
dressing-room,  and  explain  to  him  the  whole  affair;  but  then  if  I  was 
detected  en  route  ,  which  I  was  almost  sure  to  be,  with  so  many  peo- 
ple parading  about  the  house!  No;  that  would  never  do;  there  was 
but  one  alternative,  and  dreadful,  shocking  as  it  was,  I  could  not 
avoid  it,  and  with  a  heavy  heart,  and  as  much  indignation  at  Waller 
for  what  I  could  not  but  consider  a  most  scurvy  trick,  I  donned  the 
yellow  inexpressibles ;  next  came  the  vest,  and  last  the  coat,  with  ita 
broad  flaps  and  lace  excrescences,  fifty  times  more  absurd  and  merry, 
andrew  than  a  113'  stage  servant  who  makes  off  with  his  table  and  two 
chairs  amid  the  hisses  and  gibes  of  an  upper  gallery. 

If  my  costume  leaned  toward  the  ridiculous,  I  resolved  that  my  air 


86  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

and  bearing  shouM  be  more  than  usually  austere  and  haughty,  and 
with  something  of  the  stride  of  John  Kemble  in  Coriolanus,  I  wao 
leaving  my  bedroom,  when  I  accidentally  caught  a  view  of  myself 
in  the  glass;  and  so  mortified,  so  shocked  was  I,  that  I  sank  into  a 
chair,  and  almost  abandoned  my  resolution  to  go  on ;  the  very  gesture 
I  had  assumed  for  my  vindication  only  increased  the  ridicule  of  my 
appearance;  and  the  strange  quaintness  of  the  costume  totally  oblit- 
erated every  trace  of  any  characteristic  of  the  wearer,  so  infernally- 
cunning  was  its  contrivance.  I  don't  think  that  the  most  saturnine 
martyr  of  gout  and  dyspepsia  could  survey  me  without  laughing. 
With  a  bold  effort  I  flung  open  my  door,  hurried  down  the  stairs,  and 
reached  the  hall.  The  first  person  I  met  was  a  kind  of  pantry  boy, 
a  beast  only  lately  emancipated  from  the  plow,  and  destined  after' a 
dozen  years'  training  as  a  servant  again  to  be  turned  back  to  his  old 
employ,  for  incapacity;  he  grinned  horribly  for  a  minute,  as  I  passedj 
and  then  in  a  half  whisper  said : 

"  Maester,  I  advise  ye  run  for  it;  they're  awaiting  for  ye  with  the 
constables  in  the  justice's  room."  I  gave  him  a  look  of  contemptu- 
ous superiority  at  which  he  grinned  the  more,  and  passed  on. 

Without  stopping  to  consider  where  I  was  going,  I  opened  the 
door  of  the  break!  ast-parlor,  and  found  myself  in  one  plunge  among 
a  room  full  of  people.  My  first  impulse  was  to  retreat  again ;  but  so 
shocked  was  I  at  the  very  first  thing  that  met  my  sight,  that  I  was 
perfectly  powerless 'to  do  anything.  Among  a  considerable  number 
of  people  who  stood  in  small  groups  round  the  breakfast-table,  I  dis- 
cerned Jack  Waller,  habited  in  a  very  accurate  black  frock  and  dark 
trousers,  supporting  upon  his  arm — shall  I  confess?— no  less  a  person 
than  Mary  Kamworth,  who  leaned  on  him  with  the  familiarity  of 
an  old  acquaintance,  and  chatted  gayly  with  him.  The  buzz  of 
conversation  which  filled  the  apartment  when  I  entered  ceased  for  a 
second  of  deep  silence ;  and  then  followed  a  peal  of  laughter  so  long 
and  vociferous,  that  in  my  momentary  anger  I  prayed  some  one 
might  burst  a  blood-vessel,  and  frighten  the  rest.  I  put  on  a  look  of 
indescribable  indigation,  and  cast  a  glance  of  what  I  intended  should 
be  most  withering  scorn  on  the  assembly;  but  alas!  my  infernal 
harlequin  costume  ruined  the  effect;  and  confound  me,  if  they  did 
not  laugh  the  louder.  I  turned  from  one  to  the  other  with  the  air 
of  a  man  who  marks  out  victims  for  his  future  wrath;  but  with  no 
better  success ;  at  last,  amid  the  continued  mirth  of  the  party,  I  made 
my  way  to  ward  where  Waller  stood  absolutely  suffocated  with  laugh- 
ter, and  scarcely  able  to  stand  without  support. 

"  Waller,"  said  I,  in  a  voice  half  tremulous  with  rage  and  shame 
together;  "  Waller,  if  this  rascally  trick  be  yours,  rest  assured  no 

former  term  of  intimacy  between  us  shall " 

Before  I  could  conclude  my  sentence,  a  bustle  at  the  door  of  the 
room  called  every  attention  in  that  direction ;  I  turned  and  beheld 
Colonel  Kamworth,  followed  by  a  strong  posse  comitatus  of  con- 
stables, tipstaffs,  etc.,  armed  to  the  teeth,  and  evidently  prepared  for 
vigorous  battle.  Before  I  was  aole  to  point  out  my  woes  to  my  kind 
host,  he  burst  out  with : 

"  So,  you  scoundrel,  you  impostor,  you  damned  young  villain, 
pretendinjr  to  be  a  gentleman,  you  get  admission  into  a  man's  house 
and  dine  ac  his  table,  when  your  proper  place  had  been  behind  his 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  87 

chair.  How  far  he  might  have  gone,  heaven  can  tell,  if  that  excel- 
lent young  gentleman,  his  master,  had  not  traced  him  here  this  morn- 
ing— but  you'll  pay  dearly  for  it,  you  young  rascal,  that  vou  shall." 

"  Colonel  Kamworth,"  said  I,  drawing  myself  proudly  up  (and  I 
confess  exciting  new  bursts  of  laughter),  "  Colonel  Kamworth,  for 
the  expressions  you  have  just  applied  to  me,  a  heavy  reckoning 
awaits  you;  not,  however,  before  another  individual  now  present 
shall  atone  for  the  insult  he  has  dared  to  pass  upon  me."  Colonel 
Kamworth 's  passion  at  this  declaration  knew  no  bounds;  he  cursed 
and  swore  absolutely  like  a  madman,  and  vowed  that  transportation 
for  life  would  be  a  mild  sentence  for  such  iniquity. 

Waller,  at  length  wiping  the  tears  of  laughter  from  his  eyes,  inter- 
posed between  the  colonel  and  his  victim,  and  begged  that  I  might  be 
forgiven;  "  for,  indeed,  my  dear  sir,"  said  he,  "  the  poor  fellow  is  of 
rather  respectable  parentage,  and  such  is  his  taste  for  good  society 
that  he'd  run  any  risk  to  be  among  his  betters,  although,  as  in  the 
present  case,  the  exposure  brings  a  rather  heavy  retribution;  how- 
ever, let  me  deal  with  him.  Come,  Henry,"  said  he,  with  an  air  of 
insufferable  superiority,  "take  my  tilbury  into  town,  and  wait  for 
Hie  at  the  George.  I  shall  endeavor  to  make  your  peace  with  my 
excellent  friend,  Colonel  Kamworth,  and  the  best  mode  you  can  con- 
tribute to  that  object,  is  to  let  us  have  no  more  of  your  society." 

I  cannot  attempt  to  picture  my  rage  at  these  words ;  however, 
escape  from  this-  diabolical  predicament  was  my  only  present  object; 
and  I  rushed  from  the  room,  and  springing  into  the  tilbury  at  the 
door  drove  down  the  avenue  at  the  rate  of  fifteen  miles  per  hour, 
amid  the  united  cheers,  groans,  and  yells  of  the  whole  servants'  hall, 
who  seemed  to  enjoy  my  "  detection,"  more  even  than  their  betters. 
Meditating  vengeance,  sharp,  short,  and  decisive,  on  Waller,  the 
colonel,  and  every  one  else  in  the  infernal  conspiracy  against  me,  for 
I  utterly  forgot  every  vestige  of  our  agreement  in  the  surprise  by 
which  I  was  taken,  I  reached  Cheltenham.  Unfortunately  I  had  no 
friend  there  to  whose  management  I  could  commit  the  bearing  of  a 
message,  and  was  obliged,  as  soon  as  I  could  procure  suitable  cos- 
tume, to  hasten  up  to  Coventry  where  the — th  dragoons  were  then 
quartered.  I  lost  no  time  in  selecting  an  adviser,  and  taking  the 
necessary  steps  to  bring  Master  Waller  to  a  reckoning,  and  on  the 
third  morning  we  again  reached  Cheltenham,  I  thirsting  for  venge- 
ance, and  bursting  still  with  anger;  not  so,  my  friend,  however,  who 
never  could  discuss  the  affair  with  common  gravity,  and  even  vent- 
ured every  now  and  then  on  a  sly  allusion  to  my  yellow  shorts.  Aa 
we  passed  the  last  tollbar,  a  traveling  carriage  came  whirling  by  with 
four  horses  at  a  tremendous  pace;  and  as  the  morning  was  frosty,  and 
the  sun  scarcely  risen,  the  whole  team  was  smoking  and  steaming, 
so  as  to  be  halt  invisible.  We  both  remarked  on  the  precipitancy  of 
the  party ;  for  as  our  own  pace  was  considerable,  the  two  vehicles 
passed  like  lightning.  We  had  scarcely  dressed,  and  ordered  break- 
fast, when  a  more  than  usual  bustle  in  the  yard  called  us  to  the  win- 
dow ;  the  waiter  who  came  in  at  the  same  instant  told  us  that  four 
horses  were  ordered  out  to  pursue  a  young  lady  who  had  eloped  that 
morning  with  an  officer. 

"Ah,  our  friend  in  the  green  traveling  chariot,  I'll  be  bound," 
gajd  my  companion;  but  as  neither  of  us  knew  that  part  of  the  coun- 


88  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

try;  and  I  was  too  engrossed  by  my  own  thoughts,  I  never  in- 
quired further.  As  the  chaise  in  chase  drove  round  to  the  door,  I 
looked  to  set!  what  the  pursuer  was  like;  and  as  he  issued  from  the 
inn,  recognized  my  ci-devant  host,  Colonel  Kamworth.  I  need  not 
say  that  my  vengeance  was  sated  at  once;  he  had  lost  his  daughter, 
and  Waller  was  on  the  road  to  be  married.  Apologies  and  explana- 
tions came  in  due  time,  for  all  my  injuries  and  sufferings ;  and  I  con- 
fess, the  part  which  pleased  me  most  was,  that  I  saw  no  more  of  Jack 
for  a  considerable  period  after;  he  started  for  the  Continent,  where 
he  has  lived  ever  since  on  a  small  allowance,  granted  by  his  father- 
in-law,  and  never  paying  me  the  stipulated  sum,  as  I  had  clearly 
broken  the  compact. 

So  much  for  my  second  attempt  at  matrimony;  one  -would  suppose 
that  such  experience  should  be  deemed  suflicient  to  show  that  iny 
talent  did  not  lie  in  that  way.  And  here  I  must  rest  for  the  present, 
with  the  additional  confession,  that  so  strong  was  the  memory  of 
that  vile  adventure,  that  1  refused  a  lucrative  appointment  under 
Lord  Anglesey's  government,  when  I  discovered  that  his  livery  in- 
cluded "  yellow  plush  breeches:"  to  have  such  "  souvenirs  "  flitting 
around  and  about  me,  at  dinner  and  elsewhere,  would  have  left  md 
•without  a  pleasure  in  existence. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

DUBLIN — TOM     O 'FLAHERTY —A    REMINISCENCE    OF   THE   PENINSTT- 

LAB. 

.  DEAR,  dirty  Dublin — "  lo  te  salute  "—how  many  excellent  things 
may  be  said  of  thee,  if  unfortunately,  it  did  not  happen  that  the 
theme  is  an  old  one,  and  has  been  much  better  sung  than  it  can  ev.er 
now  be  said.  With  thus  much  of  apology  for  no  more  lengthened 
panegyric,  let  me  beg  of  my  reader,  if  he  be  conversant  with  that  most 
moving  melody — the  Groves  of  Blarney  —to  hum  the  following  lines, 
which  I  heard  shortly  after  my  landing,  and  which  will  express  my 
own  feelings  for  the  "  loved  spot:" 

"  O !  Dublin  sure  there  is  no  doubtin' 

Beats  every  city  upon  the  say, 
'Tis  there  you'll  see  O'Connell  spouting, 

And  the  Lady  Morgan  making  '  fay.' 
For  'tis  the  capital  of  the  greatest  nation, 

With  finest  peasantry  on  a  fruitful  sod, 
Fighting  like  devils  for  conciliation, 

And  hating  each  other  for  the  love  of  God." 

Once  more,  then,  I  found  myself  in  "  the  most  car-drivingest  city, " 
tn  r»i>te  to  join  on  the  expiration  of  my  leave.  Since  my  departure, 
iny  regiment  had  been  ordered  to  Kilkenny,  that  sweet  city,  so  famed 
in  songs  for  its  '•  fire  without  smoke;"  but  which,  were  its  character 
in  :uiy  way  to  be  derived  from  its  past  or  present  representative,  might 
cor!;.; nly,  with  more  propriety,  reverse  the  epithet,  and  read  "  smoke 
without  fire."  My  last  communication  from  head-quarters  was  full 
of  nothing  but  gay  doings — balls,  dinners,  dejeunes,  and  more  than 
all,  private  theatricals,  seemed  to  occupy  the  entire  attention  of  every 
wan  of  the  gallant  — th,.  I  was  earnestly  entreated  to  come,  without 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  89 


•waiting  for  the  end  of  my  leave  —  that  several  of  my  old  "  parti 
kept  open  for  me;"  and  that,  in  fact,  the  "  boys  of  Kilkenny  "  were 
on  tip-toe  expectation  of  my  arrival,  as  though  his  majesty's  mail 
were  to  convey  a  Kean  or  a  Kemble.  I  shuddered  a  little  as  I  read 
this,  and  recollected  '  '  my  last  appearance  on  any  stage,  '  '  little  antici- 
pating, at  the  moment,  that  my  next  was  to  be  nearly  as  productive 
of  the  ludicrous,  as  tune  and  my  confessions  will  show.  One  cir- 
cumstance, however,  gave  me  considerable  pleasure.  It  was  this: 
I  took  it  for  granted,  that  in  the  varied  and  agreeable  occupations 
which  so  pleasurable  a  career  opened,  my  adventures  in  love  would 
escape  notice,  and  that  I  should  avoid  the  merciless  raillery  my 
two  failures,  in  six  months,  might  reasonably  be  supposed  to  call 
forth.  I  therefore  wrote  a  hurried  note  to  Curzon,  setting  forth  the 
great  interest  all  their  proceedings  had  for  me,  and  assuring  him  that 
my  stay  in  town  should  be  as  short  as  possible,  for  that  1  longed 
once  more  to  "strut  the  monarch  of  the  boards,"  and  concluded 
with  a  sly  paragraph,  artfully  intended  to  act  as  a  "  paratonnere  " 
to  the  gibes  and  jests  which  I  dreaded,  by  endeavoring  to  make  light 
of  my  matrimonial  speculations.  The  postscript  ran  somewhat  thus 
—  "  Glorious  fun  have  I  had  since  we  met;  but  were  it  not  that  my 
good  angel  stood  by  me,  I  should  write  these  hurried  lines  with  a  wife 
at  my  elbow  ;  but  luck,  that  never  yet  deserted,  is  still  faithful  to  your 
old  friend,  H.  Lorrequer." 

My  reader  may  suppose  —  for  he  is  sufficiently  behind  the  scenes 
with  me  —  with  what  feelings  I  penned  these  words  ;  yet  anything  was 
better  than  the  attack  I  looked  forward  to  :  and  I  should  rather  have 
changed  into  the  Cape  Rifle  Corps,  or  any  other  army  of  martyrs, 
than  meet  my  mess  with  all  the  ridicule  my  late  proceedings  exposed 
me  to.  Having  disburdened  my  conscience  of  this  dread,  I  finished 
my  breakfast,  and  set  out  on  a  stroll  through  the  town. 

I  believe  it  is  Coleridge  who  somewhere  says,  that  to  transmit  the 
first  bright  and  early  impressions  of  our  youth,  fresh  and  uninjured, 
to  a  remote  period  of  life,  constitutes  one  of  the  loftiest  prerogatives 
of  genius.  If  this  be  true  —  and  I  am  not  disposed  to  dispute  it  — 
what  a  gifted  people  must  be  the  worthy  inhabitants  of  Dublin;  for 
I  scruple  not  to  affirm,  that  of  all  cities  of  which  we  have  any  record 
in  history,  sacred  or  profane,  tiiere  is  not  one  so  little  likely  to 
disturb  the  tranquil  current  of  such  reminiscences.  "As  it  was  of 
old,  so  it  is  now,"  enjoying  a  delightful  permanency  in  all  its  habits 
and  customs,  which  no  changes  elsewhere  disturb  or  affect;  and  in 
this  respect  I  defy  O'Connell  and  all  the  tail  to  refuse  it  the  epithei 
of  "  Conservative." 

Had  the  excellent  Rip  Van  Winkle,  instead  of  seeking  his  repose 
upon  the  cold  and  barren  acclivities  of  the  Catskills  —  as  we  are  veri- 
tably informed  by  Irving  —  but  betaken  himself  to  the  comfortable 
bed  "at  Morrison's  or  the  Bilton,  not  only  would  he  have  enjoyed  a 
more  agreeable  siesta,  but,  what  the  event  showed  of  more  conse- 
quence, the  pleasing  satisfaction  of  not  being  disconcerted  by  novelty 
on  his  awakening.  It  is  possible  that  the  waiter  who  brought  him 
the  water  to  shave  —  for  Rip's  beard,  we  are  told,  had  grown  uncom- 
monly long—  might  exhibit  a  little  of  that  wear  and  tear  to  which. 
humanity  is  liable  from  time;  but  had  he  questioned  him  as  to  the 
ruling  topics  —  the  popular  amusements  of  the  day  —  be  would  have 


90  HAllllY     LOliltEQUER. 

heard,  as  he  might  have  clone  twenty  years  before,  that  there  was  a 
meeting  to  convert  Jrws  at  the  Rotunda;  another  to  rob  parsons  at 
the  Corn  Exchange;  that  the  viceroy  was  dining,  with  the  corpora- 
tion, and  congratulating  them  on  the  prosperity  of  Ireland,  while  the 
inhabitants  were  regaled  with  a  procession  of  the  "  broad  ribbon 
weavers,"  who  had  not  weaved,  heaven  knows  when!  This,  with 
an  occasional  letter  from  Mr.  O' Council,  and  now  and  then  a  duel  in 
the  "  Phayuix,"  constituted  the  current  pastimes  of  the  city.  Such 
at  least  were  they  in  my  day;  and  though  far  from  the  dear  locale, 
an  odd  flitting  glance  at  the  newspapers  induces  me  to  believe  that 
matters  are  not  much  changed  since. 

I  rambled  through  the  streets  for  some  hours,  revolving  such 
thoughts  as  were  pressed  upon  me  involuntarily  by  all  I  saw.  The 
same  little  gray  hpmunculus  that  filled  my  "  prince's  mixture  "  years 
before,  stood  behind  the  counter  at  Lundy  Foot's  weighing  out  rappee 
and  high  toast,  just  as  I  last  saw  him.  The  fat  college  porter,  that  I 
used  to  mistake  in  my  school-days  for  the  Provost,  God  forgive  me! 
was  there  as  fat  and  as  ruddy  as  heretofore,  and  wore  his  Roman 
costume  of  helmet  and  plush  breeches,  with  an  ah-  as  classic.  The 
old  state  trumpeter  at  the  castle,  another  object  of  my  youthful  ven- 
eration, poor  "old  God  save  the  king,"  as  we  used  to  call  him, 
walked  the  streets  as  of  old ;  his  cheeks,  indeed,  a  little  more  lank 
and  tendonous ;  but  then  there  had  been  many  viceregal  changes,  and 
the  "  one  sole  melody  his  heart  delighted, "  had  been  more  frequently 
called  into  requisition,  as  he  marcheu  in  solemn  state  with  the  other 
antique  gentlemen  in  tabards.  As  I  walked  along,  each  moment 
some  old  and  early  association  being  suggested  by  the  objects  around, 
I  felt  my  arm  suddenly  seized.  I  turned  hastily  round,  and  beheld 
a  very  old  companion  in  many  a  hard-fought  field  and  merry 
bivouac,  Tom  O 'Flaherty  of  the  8th.  Poor  Tom  was  sadly  changed 
since  we  last  met,  which  was  a  ball  in  Madrid.  He  was  then  one  of  the 
best-looking  fellows  of  his  "  style  "  I  ever  met — tall,  athletic,  with 
the  easy  bearing  of  a  man  of  the  world,  and  a  certain  jauntiness  that  I 
have  never  seen  but  in  Irishmen  who  have  mixed  much  in  society. 

There  was  also  a  certain  peculiar  devil -may- care  recklessness  about 
the  self-satisfied  swagger  of  his  gait,  and  the  free-and-easy  glance  of 
his  sharp  black  eye,  united  with  a  temper  that  nothing  could  ruffle, 
and  a  courage  nothing  could  daunt.  With  such  qualifications  as 
these,  he  had  been  the  prime  favorite  of  his  mess,  to  which  he  never 
came  without  some  droll  stoiy  to  relate,  or  some  choice  expedient  for 
future  amusement.  Such  had  Tom  once  been;  now  he  was  much 
altered,  and  though  the  quiet  twinkle  of  his  dark  eye  showed  that 
the  spirit  of  fun  within  was  not  "  dead,  but  only  sleeping, " —to  my- 
self, who  knew  something  of  his  history,  it  seemed  almost  cruel  to 
awaken  him  to  anything  which  might  bring  him  back  to  the  memory 
of  by-gone  days.  A  momentary  glance  showed  me  that  he  was  no 
longer  what  he  had  been,  and  that  the  unfortunate  change  in  his 
condition,  the  loss  of  all  his  earliest  and  oldest  associates,  and  his 
blighted  prospects,  had  nearly  broken  a  heart  that  never  deserted  a 
friend,  nor  quailed  before  an  enemy.  Poor  O 'Flaherty  was  no  more 
the  delight  of  the  circle  he  once  adorned;  the  wit  that  "  set  the  table 
in  a  roar  "  was  all  but  departed.  He  had  been  dismissed  the  service? 
The  story  is  a  brief  one: 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  91 

In  the  retreat  from  Burgos,  the  —  Light  Dragoons,  after  a  most 
fatiguing  day's  march,  halted  at  the  wretched  village  of  Cabenas. 
It  had  been  deserted  by  the  inhabitants  the  day  before,  who  on  leav- 
ing had  set  it  on  fire;  and  the  blackened  walls  and  fallen  roof -trees 
were  nearly  all  that  now  remained  to  show  where  the  little  hainlet 
had  once  stood. 

Amid  a  pour-down  of  rain,  that  had  fallen  for  several  hours, 
drenched  to  the  skin,  cold,  weary,  and  nearly  starving,  the  gallant 
8th  reached  this  melancholy  spot  at  nightfall,  with  little  better  pros- 
pect of  protection  from  the  storm  than  the  barren  heath  through 
which  their  road  led  might  afford  them.  Among  the  many  who 
muttered  curses,  not  loud  but  deep,  on  the  wretched  termination  to 
their  day's  suffering,  there  was  one  who  kept  up  his  usual  good 
spirits,  and  not  only  seemed  himself  nearly  regardless  of  the  priva- 
tions and  miseries  about  him,  but  actually  succeeded  in  making  the 
others  who  rode  alongside  as  perfectly  forgetful  of  their  annoj'ances 
and  troubles  as  was  possible  iiuder  such  circumstances.  Good 
stories,  joking  allusions  to  the  more  discontented  ones  of  the  party, 
ridiculous  plans  for  the  night's  encampment,  followed  each  other 
so  rapidly,  that  the  weariness  of  the  way  was  forgotten;  and  while 
some  were  cursing  their  hard  fate,  that  ever  betrayed  them  into  such 
misfortunes,  the  little  group  round  O 'Flaherty  were  almost  convulsed 
with  laughter  at  the  wit  and  drollery  of  one  over  whom,  if  the  cir- 
cumstances had  any  influence,  they  seemed  only  to  heighten  his  pas- 
sion for  amusement.  In  the  early  part  of  the  morning  he  had  capt- 
ured a  turkey;  which  hung  gracefully  from  his  holster  on  one  side, 
while  a  small  goatskin  of  Valencia  wine  balanced  it  on  the  other. 
These  good  things  were  destined  to  form  a  feast  that  evening,  to 
which  he  had  invited  four  others ;  that  being,  according  to  his  most 
liberal  calculation,  the  greatest  number  to  whom  he  could  afford  a 
reasonable  supply  of  wine. 

When  the  halt  was  made;  it  took  some  time  to  arrange  the  dis- 
positions for  the  night ;  and  it  was  nearly  midnight  before  all  that 
regiment  had  got  their  billets  and  were  housed,  even  with  such  scanty 
accommodation  as  the  place  afforded.  Tom's  guests  had  not  yet 
arrived,  and  he  himself  was  busily  engaged  in  roasting  the  turkey 
before  a  large  fire,  on  which  stood  a  capacious  vessel  of  spiced  wine, 
when  the 'party  appeared.  A  very  cursory  "  reconnaisance  "  through 
the  house,  one  of  the  only  ones  untouched  in  the  village,  showed  tliat 
from  the  late  rain  it  would  be  impossible  to  think  of  sleeping  in  the 
lower  story,  which  already  showed  signs  of  being  flooded;  they  there- 
fore proceeded  in  a  body  up  stairs,  and  what  was  their  delight  to  find 
a  most  comeortable  room,  neatly  furnished  with  chairs,  and  a  table; 
but  above  ali,  a  large  old  fashioned  bed,  an  object  of  such  luxury  as 
only  an  old  campaigner  can  duly  appreciate.  The  curtains  were 
closely  tucked  in  all  round,  and,  in  their  fleeting  and  hurried  glance, 
they  felt  no  inclination  to  disturb  them,  and  rather  proceeded  to  draw 
up  the  table  before  the  hearth,  to  which  they  speedily  removed  the 
fire  from  below;  and,  ere  many  minutes,  with  that  activity  which  a 
bivouac  life  invariably  teaches,  their  suppers  smoked  before  them, 
and  five  happier  fellows  did  not  sit  down  that  night  within  u  large 
circuit  around.  Tom  was  unusually  great ;  stories  of  drollery,  un- 
locked before,  poured  from  him  unceasingly,  and  what  with  his  high 


92  HARRY    LOUREQUER. 

spirits  to  excite  them,  and  the  reaction  inevitable  after  a  hard  day'a 
severe  march,  the  party  soon  lost  the  little  reason  that  usually  sufficed 
to  guide  them,  and  became  as  pleasantly  tipsy  as  can  well  be  con- 
ceived. However,  all  good  things  must  have  an  end,  and  so  had  the 
wine-skin.  Tom  had  placed  it  affectionately  under  his  arm  like  a 
bag-pipe,  and  failed,  with  even  a  most  energetic  squeeze,  to  extract 
a  drop;  there  was  now  nothing  for  it  but  to  go  to  rest,  and  indeed  it 
seemed  the  most  prudent  thing  for  the  party. 

The  bed  became  accordingly  a  subject  of  grave  deliberation ;  for 
as  it  could  only  hold  two"  and  the  party  were  five,  there  seemed 
some  difficulty  in  submitting  their  chances  to  lot,  which  all  agreed 
was  the  fairest  way.  While  this  was  under  discussion,  one  of  the 
party  had  approached  the  contested  prize,  and  taking  up  the  cur- 
tains, proceeded  to  jump  in — when,  what  was  his  astonishment  to 
discover  that  it  was  already  occupied.  The  exclamation  of  surprise 
he  gave  forth  soon  brought  the  others  to  his  side,  and  to  their  hor- 
ror, drunk  as  they  were,  thev  found  that  the  body  before  them  was 
that  of  a  dead  man,  arrayed  in  all  the  ghastly  pomp  of  a  corpse.  A 
little  nearer  inspection  showed  that  he  had  been  a  priest,  probably 
the  Padre  of  the  village;  on  his  head  he  had  a  small  velvet  cap,  em- 
broidered with  a  cross,  and  his  body  was  swathed  in  a  vestment,  such 
as  priests  usually  wear  at  the  mass;  in  his  hand  he  held  a  large  wax 
taper,  which  appeared  to  have  burned  only  half  down,  and  probably 
been  extinguished  by  the  current  of  air  on  opening  the  door.  After 
the  first  brief  shock  which  this  sudden  apparition  had  caused,  the 
party  recovered  as  much  of  their  senses  as  the  wine  had  left  them, 
and  proceeded  to  discuss  what  was  to  be  done  under  the  circum- 
stances ;  for  not  one  of  them  ever  contemplated  giving  up  a  bed  to  a 
dead  priest,  while  five  living  men  slept  on  the  ground.  After  much 
altercation,  O 'Flaherty,  who  had  hitherto  listened  without  speaking, 
interrupted  the  contending  parties,  saying,  "  Stop,  lads,  1  have  it. 

"  Come,"  said  one  of  them,  "  let  us  hear  Tom's  proposal." 

"  Oh,"  said  he,  with  difficulty  steadying  himself  while  he  spoke, 
"we'll  put  him  to  bed  with  old  Ridgeway  the  quartermaster." 

The  roar  of  loud  laughter  that  followed  Tom's  device  was  renewed 
again  and  again,  till  not  a  man  could  speak  from  absolute  fatigue. 
There  was  not  a  dissentient  voice.  Old  Ridgeway  was  hated  in  t  he- 
corps,  and  a  better  way  of  disposing  of  the  priest  and  paying  off  the 
quartermaster  could  not  be  thought  of. 

Very  little  time  sufficed  for  their  preparations;  and  if  they  had 
been  brought  up  under  the  Duke  of  Portland  himself,  they  could 
not  have  exhibited  a  greater  taste  for  a  "  black  job."  The  door  of 
the  room  was  quickly  taken  from  its  hinges,  and  the  priest  placed 
upon  it  at  full  length ;  a  moment  more  sufficed  to  lift  the  door  upon 
their  shoulders,  and  preceded  by  Tom,  who  lit  a  candle  in  honor  of 
being,  as  he  said,  "chief  mourner,"  thev  took  their  way  through  the 
camp  toward  Ridgeway's  quarters.  When  they  reached  the  hut 
where  their  victim  lay,  Tom  ordered  a  halt,  and  proceeded  stealthily 
into  the  house  to  reconnoiter.  The  old  quartermaster  he  found 
stretched  on  his  sheep-skin  before  a  large  fire,  the  remnants  of  an 
ample  supper  strewed  about  him,  and  two  empty  bottles  standing  on 
the  hearth — his  deep  snoring  showed  that  all  was  safe,  and  that  no 
feara  of  his  awaking  need  disturb  them.  His  shako  and  sword  lay 


HA11EY    LORHEQUER.  93 

near  him,  but  his  sabertasche  was  under  his  head;  Tom  carefully 
withdrew  the  former;  and  hastening  to  his  friends  without,  pro- 
ceeded to  decorate  the  priest  with  them ;  expressing,  at  the  same  time, 
considerable  regret  that  he  feared  it  might  wake  Ridgeway,  if  he 
were  to  put  the  velvet  skull-cap  on  him  for  a  night-cap. 

Noiselessly  and  stealthily  they  now  entered,  and  proceeded  to  put 
down  their  burden,  which,  after  a  moment's  discussion,  tkey  agreed 
to  place  between  the  quartermaster  and  the  fire,  of  which,  hitherto, 
he  had  reaped  ample  benefit.  This  done,  they  stealthily  retreated, 
and  hurried  buck  to  their  quarters,  unable  to  speak  with  laughter  at 
the  success  of  their  plot,  and  their  anticipation  of  Ridgeway's  rage 
'  on  awakening  in  the  morning. 

It  was  in  the  dim  twilight  of  a  hasty  morning,  that  the  bugler  of 
the  8th  aroused  the  sleeping  soldiers  from  their  miserable  couches, 
which,  wretched  as  they  were,  they  nevertheless  rose  from  reluct- 
antly— so  wearied  and  fatigued  had  they  been  by  the  preceding  day's 
march ;  not  one  among  the  number  felt  so  indisposed  to  stir  as  the 
worthy  quartermaster;  his  peculiar  avocations  had  demanded  a 
more  than  usual  exertion  on  his  part,  and  in  the  posture  he  had  lain 
down  at  night,  he  rested  till  morning  without  stirring  a  limb.  Twice 
the  reveille  had  rung  through  the  little  encampment,  and  twice  the 
quartermaster  had  essayed  to  open  his  eyes,  but  in  vain ;  at  last  he 
made  a  tremendous  effort,  and  sat  bolt  upright  on  the  floor,  hoping 
that  the  sudden  effort  might  sufficiently  arouse  him ;  slowly  his  eyes 
opened,  and  the  first  thing  that  they  beheld  was  the  figure  of  the  dead 
priest,  with  a  light  cavalry  helmet  on  his  head,  seated  before  him. 
Ridgeway,  who  was  "bon  Catholique,"  trembled  in  every  joint — it 
might  be  a  ghost,  it  might  be  a  warning,  he  knew  not  what  to  think 
— he  imagined  the  lips  moved,  and  so  overcome  with  terror  was  he  at 
last,  that  he  absolutely  shouted  like  a  maniac ;  and  never  ceased  till 
the  hut  was  filled  with  officers  and  men,  who  hearing  the  uproar 
ran  to  his  aid.  The  surprise  of  the  poor  quartermaster  at  the  appari- 
tion was  scarcely  greater  than  that  of  the  beholders.  No  one  was 
able  to  afford  any  explanation  of  the  circumstances,  though  all  were 
assured  that  it  must  have  been  done  in  jest.  The  door  upon  which  the 
priest  had  been  conveyed,  afforded  the  clew — they  had  forgotten  to 
restore  it  to  its  place.  Accordingly  the  different  billets  were  exam- 
ined, and  at  last  O 'Flaherty  was  discovered  in  a  most  commodious 
bed,  in  a  large  room  without  a  door,  still  fast  asleep,  and  alone;  how 
and  when  he  had  parted  from  his  companions,  he  never  could  pre- 
cisely explain,  though  he  has  since  confessed  it  was  part  of  his 
scheme  to  lead  them  astray  in  the  village,  and  then  retire  to  the  bed, 
which  lie  had  determined  to  appropriate  to  his  sole  use. 

Old  Ridgeway's  rage  knew  no  bounds;  he  absolutely  foamed  with 
passion,  and  in  proportion  as  he  was  laughed  at  his  choler  rose 
higher;  had  this  been  the  only  result,  it  had  been  well  for  poor  Tom, 
but  unfortunately  the  affair  got  to  be  rumored  through  the  country 
— the  inhabitants  of  the  villages  learned  the  indignity  with  which 
the  Padre  had  been  treated ;  they  addressed  a  memorial  to  Lord 
Wellington — inquiry  was  immediately  instituted — O'Flaherty  was 
tried  by  court-martial,  and  found  guilty;  nothing  short  of  the  heav- 
iest punishment  that  could  be  inflicted  under  the  circumstances 
would  satisfy  the  Spaniards,  and  at  that  precise  period  it  was  part  of 


94  HAKRT    LORREQUER. 

our  policy  to  conciliate  their  esteem  by  every  means  in  our  power. 
The  commander- in-chief  resolved  to  make  what  he  called  an  "  ex- 
ample," and  poor  O 'Flaherty — the  life  and  soul  of  his  regiment — th4 
darling  of  his  mess,  was  broke,  and  pronounced  incapable  of  ever 
serving  his  Majesty  again.  Such  was  the  event  upon  which  my  poor 
friend's  fortune  in  life  seemed  to  hinge — he  returned  to  Ireland,  if 
not  entirely  broken-hearted,  so  altered  that  his  best  friends  scarcely 
knew  him;  his  "occupation  was  gone;"  themeeshad  been  his  home; 
his  brother  officers  were  to  him  in  place  of  relatives,  and  he  had  lost 
all.  His  after  life  was  spent  in  rambling  from  one  watering  place 
to  another,  more  with  the  air  of  one  who  seeks  to  consume  than  en- 
joy his  time ;  and  with  such  a  change  in  appearance  as  the  alteration 
m  his  fortune  had  effected,  he  now  stood  before  me,  but  altogether 
so  different  a  man,  that  but  for  the  well-known  tones  of  a  voice  that 
had  so  often  convulsed  me  with  laughter,  1  should  have  scarcely 
iccognized  him. 

'  Lorrequer,  my  old  friend,  I  never  thought  of  seeing  you  here; 
this  is  indeed  a  piece  of  good  luck." 

"  Why,  Tom?    You  surely  knew  that  the  were  in  Ireland, 

didn't  you?" 

"To  be  sure.  I  dined  with  them  only  a  few  days  ago,  but  they 
told  me  you  were  off  to  Paris,  to  marry  something  superlatively 
beautiful,  and  most  enormously  rich,  the  daughter  of  a  duke,  if  I  re- 
member right;  but,  certes,  they  said  your  fortune  was  made,  and  I 
need  not  tell  you,  there  was  not  a  man  among  them  better  pleased 
than  1  was  to  hear  it." 

"  Oh!  they  said  so,  did  they?  Droll  dogs — always  quizzing — I 
wonder  you  did  not  perceive  the  hoax — eh — very  good,  was  it  not?" 
This  1  poured  out  in  short  broken  sentences,  blushing  like  scarlet, 
and  fidgeting  like  a  schoolgirl  in  downright  nervousness. 

"  A  hoax!  devilish  well'done,  too," — said  Tom,  "  for  old  Garden 
believed  the  whole  story,  and  told  me  that  he  had  obtained  a  six 
months'  leave  for  you  to  make  your  cour,  and,  moreover,  said  that 

he  had  got  a  letter  from  the  nobleman,  Lord confound  his 

name." 

"  Lord  Grey,  is  it?"  said  I,  with  a  sly  look  at  Tom. 

"  No,  my  dear  friend,"  said  he  dryly,  "  it  was  not  Lord  Grey — but 
to  continue — he  had  got  a  letter  from  him,  dated  from  Paris,  stating 
his  surprise  that  you  had  never  joined  them  there,  according  to 
promise,  and  that  they  knew  your  cousin  Guy,  and  a  great  deal  of 
other  matter  I  can't  remember — so  what  does  all  this  mean?  Did 
you  hoax  the  noble  Lord  as  well  as  the  Horse  Guards,  Harry?" 

This  was  indeed  a  piece  of  news  for  mo;  I  stammered  out  some 
ridiculous  explanation,  and  promised  a  fuller  detail.  Could  it  bo 
that  I  had  done  the  Callonbys  injustice,  and  that  they  never  intended 
to  break  off  my  attentions  to  Lady  Jane — that  she  was  still  faithful, 
and  that  of  all  concerned  I  alone  had  been  to  blame?  Oh,  how  I 
hoped  that  this  might  be  the  case;  heavily  as  my  conscience  might 
accuse,  I  longed  ardently  to  forgive  and  deal  mercifully  with  myself. 
Tom  continued  to  talk  about  indifferent  matters,  as  these  thoughts 
flitted  through  my  mind ;  perceiving  at  last  that  I  did  not  attend, 
he  stopped  suddenly  and  said : 

"  Harry,  I  see  clearly  that  something  has  gone  wrong,  and  per- 


HA&RY    LORHEQUEE.  95 

haps  I  can  make  a  guess  at  the  mode  too;  but,  however,  you  can  do 
nothing  about  it  now;  come  and  dine  with  me  to-day,  and  we'll  dis- 
cuss the  affair  together  after  dinner;  or  if  you  prefer  a  '  distraction,' 
as  we  used  to  say  in  Dunkerque,  why  then,  I'll  arrange  something 
fashionable  for  your  evening's  amusement.  Come,  what  say  j'ou  to 
hearing  Father  Keogh  preach,  or  would  you  like  a  supper  at  the 
Carlingford,  or  perhaps  you  prefer  a  smree  cliez  Maladi? — for  all  of 
these  Dublin  affords — all  three  good  iii  their  way  and  very  intellect- 
ual." 

"Well,  Tom,  I'm  yours;  but  I  should  prefer  your  dining  with 
me;  I  am  at  Bilton's;  we'll  have  our  cutlet  quite  alone,  and " 

"  And  be  heartily  sick  of  each  other,  you  were  going  to  add.  No, 
no,  Harry;  you  must  dine  with  me;  I  have  some  remarkably  mce 

people  to  present  to  you — six  is  the  hour — sharp  six — mimber 

Molesworth  street,  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle's — easily  find  it — large  fanlight 
over  the  door — huge  lamp  hi  the  hall,  and  a  strong  odor  of  mutton, 
broth  for  thirty  yards  on  each  side  of  the  premises — and  as  good  luck 
would  have  it,  I  see  old  Daly,  the  counselor,  as  they  call  him ;  he  is 
the  very  man  to  get  to  meet  you — you  always  liked  a  character,  eh?" 

Saying  this,  O 'Flaherty  disengaged  himself  from  my  arm,  and 
hurried  across  the  street  toward  a  portly  middle-aged  looking  gen- 
tleman, with  the  reddest  face  I  ever  beheld.  After  a  brief  but  very 
animated  colloquy,  Tom  returned,  and  informed  me  that  all  was 
right ;  he  had  secured  Daly. 

'  And  who  is  Daly?"  said  I,  inquiringly,  for  I  was  rather  interest- 
ed hi  hearing  what  peculiar  qualification  as  a  diner-out  the  counsel- 
or might  lay  claim  to,  many  of  Tom 's  friends  being  as  remarkable  for 
being  the  quizzed  as  the  quizzers. 

"  Daly,"  said  he,  "  is  the  brother  of  a  most  distinguished  member 
of  the  Irish  bar,  of  which  he  himself  is  also  a  follower,  bearing, 
however,  no  other  resemblance  to  the  clever  man  than  the  name,  for 
assuredly  as  the  reputation  of  the  one  is  inseparably  linked  with 
success,  so  unerringly  is  the  other  coupled  with  failure;  and 
strange  to  say,  the  stupid  man  is  fairly  convinced  that  liis 
brother  owes  all  his  success  to  him,  and  that  to  his  disinterested 
kindness  the  other  is  indebted  for  his  present  exalted  station.  Thua 
it  is  through  life ;  there  seems  ever  to  accompany  dullness  a  sustaining 
power  of  vanity,  that  like  a  life-buojr,  keeps  a  mass  afloat  whoso 
weight  unassisted  would  sink  into  obscurity.  Do  you  know  that  my 
friend  Denis  there  imagines  himself  the  first  man  that  ever  enlight- 
ened Sir  Robert  Peel  as  to  Irish  affairs;  and,  upon  my  word,  his 
reputation  on  this  head  stands  incontestably  higher  than  on  most 
others." 

"  You  surely  cannot  mean  that  Sir  Robert  Peel  ever  consulted 
with,  much  less  relied  upon,  the  statements  of  such  a  person  as  you 
describe  your  friend  Denis  to  be?" 

"  He  did  both — and  if  he  was  a  little  puzzled  by  the  information, 
the  only  disgrace  attaches  to  a  govenment  that  send  men  to  rule  over 
us  unacquainted  with  our  habits  of  thinking,  and  utterly  ignorant  of 
the  language— ay,  I  repeat  it — but  come,  you  shall  judge  for  your- 
self; the  story  is  a  short  one,  and  fortunately  so,  for.  I  must  hasten 
home  to  give  timely  notice  of  your  coming  to  dine  with  me.  When 
the  present  Sir  Robert  Peel,  then  Mr.  Peel,  came  over  here  as  secre- 


96  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

tary  to  Ireland,  a  very  distinguished  political  leader  of  the  day  invited 
a  party  to  meet  him  at  dinner,  consisting  of  men  of  different  political 
leanings ;  among  whom  were,  as  may  be  supposed,  many  members 
of  the  Irish  bar;  the  elder  Daly  was  too  remarkable  a  person  to  be 
omitted,  but  as  the  two  brothers  resided  together,  there  was  a  diffi- 
culty about  getting  him.  However,  he  must  be  had,  and  the  only 
alternative  that  presented  itself  was  adopted — both  were  invited. 
When  the  party  descended  to  the  dining-room,  by  one  of  those 
unfortunate  accidents,  which,  as  the  proverb  informs  us,  occasion- 
ally take  place  in  the  best-regulated  establishments,  the  wrong  Mr. 
Daly  got  placed  beside  Mr.  Peel,  which  post  of  honor  had  been  des- 
tined by  the  host  for  tiie  more  agreeable  and  talented  brother.  There 
was  now  no  help  for  it;  and  with  a  heart  somewhat  nervous  for  the 
consequences  of  the  proximity,  the  worthy  entertainer  sat  down  to 
do  the  honors  as  best  he  might;  he  was  consoled  during  dinner  by 
observing  that  the  devotion  bestowed  by  honest  Denis  on  the  viands 
before  him  effectually  absorbed  his  faculties,  and  thereby  threw  the 
entire  of  Mr.  Peel's  conversation  toward  the  gentleman  on  his  other 
flank.  This  happiness  was,  like  most  others,  destined  to  be  a  brief 
one.  As  the  dessert  made  its  appearance,  Mr.  Peel  began  to  listen 
with  some  attention  to  the  conversation  of  the  persons  opposite; 
with  one  of  whom  he  was  struck  most  forcibly — so  happy  a  power 
of  illustration,  so  vivid  a  fancy,  such  logical  precision  in  argument 
as  he  evinced,  perfectly  charmed  and  surprised  him.  Anxious  to 
learn  the  name  of  so  gifted  an  individual,  he  turned  toward  his 
hitherto  silent  neighbor  and  demanded  who  he  was. 

"  '  Who  is  he,  is  it?'  said  Denis,  hesitatingly,  as  if  he  half  doubted 
such  extent  of  ignorance  as  not  to  know  the  person  alluded  to. 

Mr.  Peel  bowed  in  acquiescence. 

'  That's  Bushe!"  said  Denis,  giving  at  the  same  time  the  same 
•ound  to  the  vowel  u  as  it  obtains  when  occuring  in  the  word '  rush. ' 

'  I  beg  pardon, '  said  Mr.  Peel ;  '  I  did  not  hear. ' 

'  Bushe!'  replied  Denis,  with  considerable  energy  of  tone. 

'  Oh,  yes!  I  know,'  said  the  secretary;  '  Mr.  Bushe,  a  very  dis- 
tinguished member  of  your  bar,  I  have  heard.' 

"  'Faith,  you  may  say  that!'  said  Denis,  tossing  off  his  wine  at 
•what  he  esteemed  a  very  trite  observation. 

"  '  Pray,'  said  Mr.  Peel,  again  returning  to  the  charge,  though  cer- 
tainly feeling  not  a  little  surprised  at  the  singular  laconicism  of  his 
informant,  no  less  than  the  mellifluous  tones  of  an  accent  then  per- 
fectly new  to  him.  '  Pray,  may  I  ask  what  is  the  peculiar  characicr 
of  Mr.  Bushe 's  eloquence?  I  mean,  of  course,  in  his  professional 
capacity. ' 

'Eh?'  said  Denis,  '  I  don't  comprehend  you  exactly.' 

'  I  mean,'  said  Mr.  Peel — '  in  one  word,  what's  his  forte?' 

'His  forte!' 

'  I  mean  ~hat  his  peculiar  gift  consist  in ' 

'  Oh,  I  perceive — I  have  ye  now — the  juries.' 

'Ah!  addressing  a  jury. 

'  Ay,  the  juries. ' 

' '  Can  you  oblige  me  by  giving  me  any  idea  of  the  manner  in 
which  he  obtains  such  signal  success  in  this  difficult  branch  of  elo- 
quence?" 


HAtlllY    LORREQUER.  97 

"  '  I'll  tell  ye,'  said  Denis,  leisurely  finishing  his  glass,  and  smack- 
Ing  his  lips,  with  the  air  of  a  man  girding  up  his  loins  for  a  mighty 
effort.  "  I'll  tell  ye — well,  ye  see  the  way  he  has  is  this,' — here  Mr, 
Peel's  expectation  rose  to  the  highest  degree  of  interest — '  the  way 
he  has  is  this — he  first  butthers  them  up  and  then  slithers  tkem  down, 
that's  all;  a  devil  a  more  of  a  secret  there's  in  it.'  ' 

How  much  reason  Denis  had  to  boast  of  imparting  early  informa- 
tion to  the  new  secretary  I  leave  my  English  readers  to  guess;  my 
Irish  ones  I  may  trust  to  do  him  ample  justice.  My  friend  now  left 
me  to  my  own  devices  to  while  away  the  hours  till  the  time  to  dress 
for  dinner.  Heaven  help  the  gentleman  so  left  in  Dublin,  say  I. 
It  is,  perhaps,  the  only  city  of  its  size  in  the  world,  where  there  is 
no  lounge — no  promenade.  Very  little  experience  of  it  will  convince 
you  that  it  abounds  in  pretty  women,  and  has  its  fair  share  of  agree- 
able men;  but  where  are  they  in  the  morning?  I  wish  Sir  Dick 
Lauder,  instead  of  speculating  where  salmon  spent  the  Christmas 
holidays,  would  apply  his  most  inquiring  mind  to  such  a  question  as 
this.  True  it  is,  however,  they  are  not  to  be  found.  The  squares 
are  deserted — the  streets  are  very  nearly  so — and  all  that  is  left  to  the 
luckless  wanderer  in  search  of  the  beautiful,  is  to  ogle  the  beauties 
of  Dame-street,  who  are  shopkeepers  in  Graf  ton-street,  or  the  beauties 
of  Grafton-street,  who  are  shop-keepers  in  Dame-street.  But,  con- 
found it,  how  cranky  I  am  getting — I  must  be  tremendously  hungry. 
True  it's  past  six.  So  now  for  my  suit  of  sable,  and  then  to  din- 
ner. 


CHAPTER  XI1L 

DUBLIN — THE  BOARDING-HOUSE — SELECT  SOCIETY. 

PUNCTUAL  to  my  appointment  with  O 'Flaherty,  I  found  myself  a 
yery  few  minutes  after  six  o'clock  at  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle's  door.  My  very 
authoritative  summons  at  the  bell  was  answered  by  the  appearance 
of  a  young,  pale-faced  invalid,  in  a  suit  of  livery  the  taste  of  which 
bore  a  very  unpleasant  resemblance  to  the  one  I  so  lately  fisrured  in. 
It  was  with  considerable  difficulty  I  persuaded  this  functionary  to 
permit  my  carrying  my  hat  with  me  to  the  drawing-room,  a  species 
of  caution  on  my  part — as  he  esteemed  it — savoring  much  of  distrust 
This  point,  however,  I  carried,  and  followed  him  up  a  very  ill- 
lighted  stair  to  the  drawing-room ;  here  I  was  announced  by  some 
faint  resemblance  to  my  real  name,  but  sufficiently  near  to  bring  my 
friend  Tom  at  once  to  meet  me,  who  immediately  congratulated  me 
on  my  fortune  in  coming  off  so  well,  for  that  the  person  who  pre- 
ceded me,  Mr.  Jones  Blennerhasset,  had  been  just  announced  as  Mr. 
Blatherhashit — a  change  the  gentleman  himself  was  not  disposed  to 
adopt.  "  But  come  along,  Harry,  while  we  are  waiting  for  Daly,  let 
me  make  you  known  to  some  of  our  party ;  this,  you  must  know, 
is  a  boarding-house,  and  always  has  some  capital  fun — queerest 
people  you  ever  met — I  have  only  one  hint — cut  every  man,  woman, 
and  child  of  them,  if  you  meet  them  hereafter — I  do  it  myself, 
though  I  have  lived  here  these  six  months."  Pleasant  people, 
thought  I,  these  muet  be,  with  whom  such  a  line  ia  advisable,  much 
less  practicable. 


98  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

"  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle,  my  friend  Mr.  Lorrcquer;  thinks  he'll  stay  the 

summer  in  town.     Mrs.  Clan ,  should  like  him  to  be  one  of  us." 

This  latter  was  said  sotto  wee,  and  was  a  practice  he  continued  to 
adopt  in  presenting  me  to  his  several  friends  through  the  room. 

Miss  Riley,  a  horrid  old  fright,  in  a  bird  of  paradise  plume,  and 
corked  eyebrows,  gibbeted  in  gilt  chains  and  pearl  ornaments,  and 
looking  as  the  gnsettes  say,  "superb  en  chrysolite" — "Miss  Riley, 
Captain  Lorrequer,  a  friend  I  have  long  desired  to  present  to  you — 
fifteen  thousand  a  year  and  a  baronetcy,  if  he  has  sixpence,"  sotto 
again.  "  Surgeon  M'Culloch — he  likes  the  title,"  said  Tom,  in  a 
whisper — "  Surgeon,  Captain  Lorrequer.  By  the  bye,  lest  I  forget  it, 
he  wishes  to  speak  to  you  in  the  morning  about  his  health ;  he  is 
stopping  at  Sandymount  for  the  baths;  you  could  go  out  there,  eh?" 
The  tall  thing  in  green  spectacles  bowed,  and  acknowledged  Tom's 
kindness  by  a  knowing  touch  of  the  elbow.  In  this  way  he  made 
the  tour  of  the  room  for  about  ten  minutes,  during  which  brief  space, 
I  was,  according  to  the  kind  arrangements  of  O'Flaherty,  booked 
as  a  resident  in  the  boarding-house — a  lover  to  at  least  five  elderly, 
and  three  young  ladies — a  patient — a  client — a  second  in  a  duel  to  a 
clerk  in  the  post-office — and  had  also  volunteered  (through  him  al- 
ways) to  convey,  by  all  of  his  majesty's  mails,  as  many  parcels, 
packets,  band-boxes,  and  bird-cages,  as  would  have  comfortably  filled 
one  of  Pickford's  vans.  All  this  he  told  me  was  requisite  to  my 
being  well  received,  though  no  one  thought  much  of  any  breach  of 

compact,  subsequently,  except  Mrs.  Clan herself.     The  ladies 

had,  alas!  been  often  treated  vilely  before;  the  doctor  had  never  had 
a  patient;  and  as  for  the  belligerent  knight  of  the  dead  office,  he'd 
rather  die  than  fight  any  day. 

The  last  person  to  whom  my  friend  deemed  it  necessary  to  intro- 
duce me,  was  a  Mr.  Garret  Cudmore,  from  the  Reeks  of  Kerry,  lately 
matriculated  to  all  the  honors  of  freemanship  in  the  Dublin  univer- 
sity. This  latter  was  a  low-sized,  dark- browed  man,  with  round 
shoulders,  and  particularly  long  arms,  the  disposal  of  which  seemed 
sadly  to  distress  him.  He  possessed  the  most  perfect  brogue  I  ever 
listened  to;  but  it  was  difficult  to  get  him  to  speak,  for  on  copiing 
up  to  town  some  weeks  before,  he  had  been  placed  by  some  intelli- 
gent friend  at  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle's  establishment,  with  the  express  direc- 
tion to  mark  and  thoroughly  digest  as  much  as  he  could  of  the  habits 
and  customs  of  the  circle  about  him,  which  he  was  rightly  informed 
was  the  very  focus  of  good  breeding  and  haut  ton; "but  on  no  ac- 
count, unless  driven  thereto  by  the  pressure  of  sickness,  or  the  wants 
of  nature,  to  trust  himself  with  speech,  which  in  his  then  uninformed 
state,  he  was  assured  would  inevitably  ruin  him  among  his  fastidi- 
ously cultivated  associates. 

To  the  letter  and  the  spirit  of  the  dispatch  he  had  received,  the 
worthy  Garret  acted  rigidly,  and  his  voice  was  scarcely  ever  known 
to  transgress  the  narrow  limits  prescribed  by  his  friends.  In  more 
respects  than  one  was  this  a  good  resolve ;  for  so  completely  had  he 
identified  himself  with  college  habits,  things  and  phrases,  that  when 
ever  he  conversed,  he  became  little  short  of  unintelligible  to  the 
vulgar — a  difficulty  not  decreased  by  his  peculiar  pronunciation. 

My  round  of  presentation  was  just  completed,  when  the  pale  figure 
fc\  light  blue  livery  announced  Counselor  Daly  and  dinner,  for  both 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  99 

came  fortunately  together.  Taking  the  post  of  honor,  Miss  Riley's 
arm,  I  followed  Tom,  whom  I  soon  perceived  ruled  the  whole  con- 
cern, as  he  led  the  way  with  another  ancient  vestal  in  black  satin  and 
bugles.  The  long  procession  wound  its  snake-like  length  down  the 
narrow  stair,  and  into  the  dining-room,  where  at  last  we  all  got  seated; 
and  here  let  me  briefly  vindicate  the  motives  of  my  friend — should 
any  unkind  person  be  found  to  impute  to  his  selection  of  a  residence, 
any  base  and  groveling  passion  for  gourmaudais,  that  day's  experi- 
ence should  be  an  eternal  vindication  of  him.  The  soup — alas!  that 
I  should  so  far  prostitute  the  word;  for  the  black  broth  of  Sparta 
was  mock  turtle  in  comparison — retired  to  make  way  for  a  mass  of 
beef,  whose  tenderness  I  did  not  question;  for  it  sank  beneath  the 
knife  of  the  carver  like  a  feather  bed — the  skill  of  Saladin  himself 
would  have  failed  to  divide  it.  The  fish  was  a  most  rebellious  pike, 
and  nearly  killed  every  loyal  subject  at  table;  and  then  down  the 
sides  were  various  comestibles  of  chickens,  with  azure  bosoms,  and 
hams  with  hides  like  a  rhinoceros;  covered  dishes  of  decomposed 
vegetable  matter,  called  spinach  and  cabbage;  potatoes  arrayed  in 
small  masses,  and  browned,  resembling  those  ingenious  architectural 
structures  of  mud  children  raise  in  the  highways,  and  call  dirt-pies. 
Such  were  the  chief  constituents  of  the  "  feed;"  and  such,  I  am 
bound  to  confess,  waxed  beautifully  less  under  the  vigorous  onslaught 
of  the  party. 

The  conversation  soon  became  both  loud  and  general.  That  happy 
familiarity — which  I  had  long  believed  to  be  the  exclusive  preroga- 
tive of  a  military  mess,  where  constant  daily  association  sustains  the 
interest  of  the  veriest  trifles — I  here  found  in  a  perfection  I  had  not 
anticipated,  with  this  striking  difference  that  there  was  no  absurd 
deference  to  any  existing  code  of  etiquette  in  the  conduct  of  the 
party  generally,  each  person  quizzing  his  neighbor  in  the  most  free 
and  easy  style  imaginable,  and  all,  evidently  from  long  habit  and. 
conventional  usage,  seeming  to  enjoy  the  practice  exceedingly. 
Thus,  droll  allusions,  good  stories,  and  smart  repartees,  fell  thick  as 
hail,  and  twice  as  harmless,  which  anywhere  else  that  I  had  ever 
heard  of,  would  assuredly  have  called  for  more  explanations,  and 
perhaps  gunpowder,  in  the  morning,  than  usually  are  deemed  agreea- 
ble! Here,  however,  they  know  better;  and,  though  the  lawyer 
quizzed  the  doctor  for  never  having  another  patient  than  the  house 
dog,  all  of  whose  arteries  he  had  tied  in  the  course  of  the  winter  for 
practice — and  the  doctor  retorted  as  heavily,  by  showing  that  the 
sawyer's  practice  had  been  other  than  beneficial  to  those  for  whom 
IK-  v.as  concerned — his  one  client  being  found  guilty,  mainly  through 
his  ingenious  defense  of  him;  yet  they  never  showed  any,  the  slight- 
est irritation — on  the  contrary,  such  little  playful  badinage  ever  led 
to  some  friendly  passages  of  taking  wine  together,  or  in  arrangements 
for  a  party  to  the  "  Dargle,"  or  "  Dunleary;"  and  thus  went  on  the 
entire  party,  the  young  ladies  darting  an  occasional  slight  at  their 
elders,  who  certainly  returned  the  fire,  often  with  advantage;  all 
imiting  now  and  then,  however,  in  one  common  cause,  an  attack  of 
the  whole  line  upon  Mrs.  Claufrizzle  herself,  for  the  beef,  or  the 
mutton,  or  the  fish,  or  the  poultry,  each  of  which  was  sure  to  find 
some  sturdv  defamer  ready  and  willing  to  give  evidence  in  dispraise. 
Yet  even  these — and  i  thought  them  rather  dangerous  sallies — led  to 


100  HARRY    LORREQTJER. 

no  more  violent  results  than  dignified  replies  from  the  worthy  host- 
ess upon  the  goodness  of  her  fare,  and  the  evident  satisfaction  it 
afforded  -while  being  eaten,  if  the  appetites  of  the  party  were  a  test. 
While  this  was  at  its  height,  Tom  stooped  behind  my  chair,  and 
•whispered  gentlv: 

"  This  is  good — isn't  it,  eh? — life  in  a  boarding-house — quite  new 
to  you ;  but  they  are  civilized  now  compared  to  what  you'll  find 
them  in  the  drawing-room.  When  short  whist  for  five-penny  points 
Bets  in — then  Greek  meets  Greek,  and  we'll  have  it." 

During  all  this  melee  tournament,  I  perceived  that  the  worthy  jib, 
as  he  would  be  called  in  the  parlance  of  Trinity,  Mr.  Cudmore, 
remained  perfectly  silent,  and  apparently  terrified.  The  noise,  the 
din  of  voices,  and  the  laughing  so  completely  addled  him,  that  he 
was  like  one  in  a  very  horrid  dream.  The  attention  with  which  I 
had  observed  him,  having  been  remarked  by  my  friend  O' Flaherty, 
he  informed  me  that  the  scholar,  as  he  was  called  there,  was  then 
under  a  kind  of  cloud — an  adventure  which  occurred  only  two 
nights  before,  being  too  fresh  in  his  memory  to  permit  him  enjoying 
himself  even  to  the  limited  extent  it  had  been  his  wont  to  do.  As 
illustrative,  not  only  of  Mr.  Cudmore,  but  the  life  I  have  been  speak- 
ing' of,  I  may  as  well  relate  it. 

boon  after  Mr.  Cudmore's  enlistment  under  the  banners  of  the 
Clanfrizzle,  he  had  sought  and  found  an  asylum  in  the  drawing- 
room  of  the  establishment,  which  promised,  from  its  geographical 
relations,  to  expose  him  less  to  the  molestations  of  conversation  than 
most  other  parts  of  the  room.  This  was  a  small  recess  beside  the 
fire-place,  not  uncommon  in  old-fashioned  houses,  and  which,  from 
its  incapacity  to  hold  more  than  one",  secured  to  the  worthy  recluse 
the  privacy  he  longed  for,  and  here,  among  superannuated  hearth- 
brushes,  an  old  hand-screen,  an  asthmatic  bellows,  and  a  kettle- 
holder,  sat  the  timid  youth,  "  alone,  but  in  a  crowd."  Not  all  the 
seductions  of  loo,  limited  to  threepence,  nor  even  that  most  appro- 
priately designated  game,  beggar-rny-neighbor — could  withdraw  him 
from  his  blest  retreat.  Like  his  countryman,  St.  Kevin — my  friend 
Petrie  has  ascertained  that  the  saint  was  a  native  of  Tralee — he  fled 
from  the  temptations  of  the  world,  and  the  blandishments  of  the 
fair;  but,  alas!  like  the  saint  himself,  the 

"poor  jib  little  knew 
All  that  wily  sex  can  do ;" 

for  while  he  hugged  himself  in  the  security  of  his  fortress,  the  web 
of  his  destiny  was  weaving.  So  true  is  it,  as  he  himself  used,  no  less 
pathetically  than  poetically,  to  express  it,  "  misfortune  will  find  you 
out  if  you  were  hid  in  a  tay  chest. " 

It  happened  that  in  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle's  establishment  the  "  enfant 
blue,"  already  mentioned,  was  the  only  individual  of  his  sex  re- 
tained; and  without  for  a  moment  disparaging  the  ability  or  atten- 
tions of  this  gifted  person,  yet  it  may  reasonably  be  credited,  that  in 
waiting  on  a  party  of  twenty -five  or  thirty  persons  at  dinner,  all  of 
whom  he  had  admitted  as  porter,  and  announced  as  maitre  d 'hotel, 
with  the  subsequent  detail  of  his  duties  in  the  drawing-room,  that 
Peter,  blue  Peter — his  boarding-house  soubriquet — not  enjoying  the 
bird-like  privilege  of  "  being  in  two  places  at  once,"  gave  one  rather 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  102 

the  impression  of  a  person  of  hasty  and  fidgety  habits — for  which 
nervous  tendency  the  treatment  he  underwent  was  certainly  injudi- 
cious— it  being  the  invariable  custom  for  each  guest  to  put  his  serv- 
ices in  requisition,  perfectly  irrespective  of  all  other  claims  upon 
him,  from  whatsoever  quarter  coming — and  then,  at  the  precise  mo- 
ment that  the  luckless  valet  was  snuffing  the  candles,  he  was  abused 
by  one  for  not  bringing  coal;  by  another  for  having  carried  off 
his  tea-cup,  on  an  expedition  for  sugar;  by  a  third  for  having  left 
the  door  open,  which  lie  had  never  been  near;  and  so  on  to  the  end 
of  the  chapter. 

It  chanced,  that  a  few  evenings  previous  to  my  appearance  at  the 
house,  this  indefatigable  Caleb  was  ministering  as  usual  to  the  van 
ous  and  discrepant  wants  of  the  large  party  assembled  in  the  draw- 
ing-room. With  his  wonted  alacrity  he  had  withdrawn,  from  their 
obscure  retreat  against  the  wall,  sundry  little  tables,  destined  for  the 
players  at  whist,  or  "  spoil  five" — the  popular  game  of  the  estab- 
lishment. With  a  dexterity  that  savored  much  of  a  stage  education, 
he  had  arranged  the  candles,  the  cards,  the  counters;  he  had  poked 
the  fire,  settled  the  stool  for  Miss  Riley's  august  feet,  and  was  busily 
engaged  in  changing  five  shillings  into  small  silver,  for  a  desperate 
victim  of  loo — when  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle's  third,  and,  as  it  appeared, 
last  time,  of  asking  for  the  kettle  smote  upon  his  ear.  His  loyalty 
would  have  induced  him  at  once  to  desert  everything  on  such  an 
occasion;  but  the  other  party  engaged  held  him  fast,  saying: 

"  Never  mind  Tier,  Peter — you  have  sixpence  more  to  give  me." 

Poor  Peter  rummaged  one  pocket,  then  another — discovering  at 
last  threepence  in  copper,  and  some  farthings,  with  which  he  seemed 
endeavoring  to  make  a  composition  with  his  creditor  for  twelve 
shillings  in  the  pound;  when  Mrs.  Clan's  patience  finally  becoming 
exhausted,  she  turned  toward  Mr.  Cudmore,  the  only  unemployed 
person  she  could  perceive,  and  with  her  blandest  smile  said: 

"Mr.  Cudmore,  may  I  take  the  liberty  of  requesting  you  would 
hand  me  the  kettle  beside  you?" 

Now,  though  the  kettle  aforesaid  was,  as  the  hostess  very  properly 
observed,  beside  him,  yet  the  fact  that  in  complying  with  the  demand  it 
was  necessary  for  the  bashful  youth  to  leave  the  recess  he  occupied, 
and  with  the  kettle,  proceed  to  walk  half  across  the  room — there  to 
perform  certain  manual  operations  requiring  skill  and  presence  of 
mind,  before  a  large  and  crowded  assembly — was  horror  to  the  mind 
of  the  poor  Jib ;  and  he  would  nearly  as  soon  have  acceded  to  a  de- 
sire to  dance  a  hornpipe,  if  such  had  been  suggested  as  the  wish  of 
the  company.  However,  there  was  nothing  for  it ;  and  summon- 
ing up  all  his  nerve — knitting  his  brows — clinching  his  teeth  like  one 
prepared  to  "  do  or  die,"  he  seized  the  hissing  caldron,  and  strode 
through  the  room,  like  the  personified  genius  of  steam,  very  much 
to  the  alarm  of  all  the  old  ladies  in  the  vicinity;  whose  tasteful 
drapery  benefited  but  little  from  his  progress.  Yet  he  felt  but  little 
of  all  this:  he  had  brought  \ip  his  courage  to  the  sticking  place,  and 
he  was  absolutely  half  unconscious  of  the  whole  scene  before  him: 
nor  was  it  till  some  kind  mediator  had  seized  his  arm,  while  another 
drew  him  back  by  the  skirts  of  the  coat,  that  he  desisted  from  the 
deluge  of  hot  water,  with  which,  having  filled  the  tea-pot,  he  pro- 
ceeded to  swamp  everything  else  upon  the  tray,  in  his  unfortunate 


102  HARRY    LORREQt'ER. 

abstraction.     Mrs.  Clanfrizzle  screamed — the  old  ladies  accompanied 

her — the  young  ones  tittered — the  men  laughed — and,  in  a  word 

poor  Cudmore,  perfectly  unconscious  of  anything  extraordinary,  fell 

himself  the  admired  of  all  admirers — very  little,  ft  is  true,  to  his  own 

satisfaction.     After  some  minutes'  exposure  to  these  ecla'ts  de  rire.  lie 

succeeded  in  depositing  the  source  of  his  griefs  within  the  fender, 

and  once  more  retired  to  his  sanctuary — having  registered  a  vow 

^  which,  should  I  speak  it,  would  forfeit  his  every  claim  to  gallantry 

*  forever. 

Whether  in  the  vow  aforesaid  Mr.  Cudmore  had  only  been  engaged 
in  that  species  of  tesselating  which  furnishes  the  pavement  so  cele- 
brated in  the  lower  regions,  I  know  not;  but  true  it  is,  that  he  retired 
that  night  to  his  chamber  very  much  discomfited  at  his  debut  in  the 
great  world,  and  half  disposed  to  believe  that  nature  had  neither  in- 
tended him  for  a  Brummel  nor  a  D'Orsay.  While  he  was  ruminating 
on  such  matters,  he  wras  joined  by  O 'Flaherty,  Avith  whom  he  had 
been  always  more  intimate  than  any  other  inmate  of  the  house — 
Tom's  tact  haying  entirely  concealed  what  the  manners  of  the  others 
too  plainly  evinced,  the  perfect  appreciation  of  the  student's  oddity 
and  singularity.  After  some  few  observations  on  general  matters, 
O 'Flaherty  began  with  a  tone  of  some  seriousness  to  express  toward 
Cudmore  the  warm  interest  he  had  ever  taken  in  him,  since  his  first 
coming  among  them;  his  great  anxiety  for  his  welfare,  and  his  firm 
resolve  that  no  chance  or  casual  inattention  to  mere  ceremonial  ob- 
servances on  his  part  should  ever  be  seized  on  by  the  other  guests  as 
a  ground  for  detraction  or  an  excuse  for  ridicule  of  him. 

"  Rely  upon  it,  my  dear  boy,"  said  he,  "  I  have  watched  over  you 
like  a  parent ;  and  having  partly  foreseen  that  something  like  this 
affair  of  to-night  would  take  place  sooner  or  later " 

"  What  affair?"  said  Cudmore — his  eyes  starting  half  out  of  his 
head. 

"  That  business  of  the  kettle." 

"  Kett— el.     The  kettle!    What  of  that?"  said  Cudmore. 

"  What  of  it?  Why,  if  you  don't  feel  it,  I  am  sure  it  is  not  my 
duty  to  remind  you;  only " 

"  Feel  it — oh  yes.  I  saw  them  laughing,  because  I  spilled  the 
•water  over  old  Mrs.  Jones,  or  something  of  that  sort." 

"  No,  no,  my  dear  young  friend,  they  were  not  laughing  at  tfiat — 
their  mirth  had  another  object." 

"  What  the  devil  was  it  at,  then?" 

"  You  don't  know,  don't  you?" 

"  No;  I  really  do  not." 

"  Nor  can't  guess — eh?" 

"  Confound  me  if  I  can." 

"  Well,  I  see,  Mr.  Cudmore,  you  are  really  too  innocent  for  these 
people.  But  come — it  shall  never  be  said  that  youth  and  inexperi- 
ence ever  suffered  from  the  unworthy  ridicule  and  cold  sarcasm  of  the 
base  world,  while  Tom  O'Flaherty  stood  by  a  spectator. 

"  Sir,"  said  Tom,  striking  his  hand  with,  energy  on  the  table,  and 
dartinga  look  of  fiery  indignation  from  his  eye,  "  Sir,  you  were  this 
night  Trepanned — yes  sir,  vilely,  shamefully  trepanned— I  repeat  the 
expression — into  the  performance  of  a  menial  office — an  office  so  de- 
grading, so  offensive,  so  unbecoming  the  rank,  the  station  and  the 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  103 

habits  of  a  gentleman,  my  very  blood  recoils  when  I  only  think  of 
the  indignity." 

The  expression  of  increasing  wonder  and  surprise  depicted  in  Mr. 
Cudmore's  face  at  these  words,  my  friend  Phiz  might  convey — I  can- 
not venture  to  describe  it — suffice  it  to  say,  that  even  O 'Flaherty 
himself  found  it  difficult  to  avoid  a  burst  of  laughter,  as  he  looked 
at  him  and  resumed : 

"  Witnessing  as  I  did,  the  entire  occurrence;  feeling  deeply  for 
the  inexperience  which  the  heartless  worldlings  had  dared  to  trample 
upon,  I  resolved  to  stand  by  you,  and  here  I  am  come  for  that  pur- 
pose." 

"  Well,  but  what  in  the  devil's  name  have  I  done  all  this  time?" 
"  What!  are  you  still  ignorant? — is  it  possible?   Did  you  not  hanrt 
the  kettle  from  the  fire-place,  and  fill  the  tea-pot? — answer  me  that. ' ' 
"  I  did,"  said  Cudmore,  with  a  voice  already  becoming  tremulous 
"  Is  that  the  duty  of  a  gentleman? — answer  me  that." 
A  dead  pause  stood  in  place  of  a  reply,  while  Torn  proceeded: 
"  Did  you  ever  hear  any  one  ask  me,  or  Counselor  Daly,  or  Mr. 
Fogarty,  or  any  other  person  to  do  so? — answer  me  that." 
"  No;  never,"  muttered  Cudmore,  with  a  sinking  spirit. 
"  AVell,  then,  why,  may  I  ask,  were  you  selected  for  an  office 
that,  by  your  own  confession,  no  one  else  would  stoop  to  perform? 
I'll  tell  you,  because  from  your  youth  and  inexperience,  your  inno- 
cence was  deemed  a  fit  victim  to  the  heartless  sneers  of  *a  cold  and 
unfeeling  world. ' '    And  here  Tom  broke  forth  into  a  very  beautiful 
apostrophe,  beginning.    "  Oh,  virtue!"  (this  I  am  unfortunately  un- 
able to  present  to  my  readers ;  and  must  only  assure  them  that  it 
was  a  very  faithful  imitation  of  the  well-known  one  delivered  by 
Burke  in  the  case  of  Warren  Hastings),  and  concluded  with  an  ex- 
hortation to  Cudmore  to  wipe  out  the  stain  of  his  wounded  honor, 
by  repelling  with  indignation  the  slightest  future  attempt  at  such  an 
insult. 

This  done,  O 'Flaherty  retired,  leaving  Cudmore  to  dig  among 
Greek  roots,  and  chew  over  the  cud  of  his  misfortunes.  Punctual 
to  the  time  and  place,  that  same  evening  beheld  the  injured  Cudmore 
resume  his  wonted  corner,  pretty  much  with  the  feelings  with  which 
a  forlorn  hope  stands  match  in  hand  to  ignite  the  train  destined  to 
explode  with  ruin  to  thousands — himself  perhaps  among  the  number; 
there  he  sat  with  a  brain  as  burning  and  a  heart  as  excited  as  though, 
instead  of  sipping  his  bohea  beside  a  sea-coal  fire,  he  was  that  instant 
trembling  beneath  the  frown  of  Dr.  Elrington  for  the  blunders  in 
his  Latin  theme,  and  what  terror  to  the  mind  of  a  "  Jib  "  can  equal 
that  one? 

As  luck  would  have  it,  this  was  a  company  night  in  the  boarding- 
house.  Various  young  ladies  in  long  blue  sashes,  and  very  broad 
ribbon  sandals,  paraded  the  rooms,  chatting  gayly  with  very  distin- 
guished looking  young  gentlemen,  with  gold  brooches,  and  parti- 
colored inside  waistcoats :  sundry  elderly  ladies  sat  at  card-tables,  dis- 
cussing the  "  lost  honor  by  an  odd  trick  they  played,"  spruce  clerks 
in  public  offices  (whose  vocation  the  expansive  tendency  of  the  right 
ear,  from  long  pen-carrying,  betokened)  discussed  fashion,  "  and  the 
musical  glasses  "  to  some  very  over-dressed  married  ladies,  who  pre- 
ferred flirting  to  five-and-ten.  The  tea-table,  over  which  the  amiable 


104  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

hostess  presided,  had  also  its  standing  notaries:  mostly  grave  parlia- 
mentary-looking gentlemen,  with  powdered  heads,  and  very  long- 
waisted  black  coats,  among  whom  the  Sir  Oracle  was  a  functionary 
of  his  Majesty's  High  Court  of  Chancery,  though  I  have  reason  to 
believe,  not,  Lord  Manners;  meanwhile,  in  all  parts  of  the  room 
might  be  seen  Blue  Peter,  distributing  tea,  coffee,  and  biscuit,  and 
occasionally  interchanging  a  joke  with  the  dwellers  in  the  house. 
While  all  these  pleasing  occupations  proceeded,  the  hour  of  Cud- 
more's  trial  was  approaching.  The  tea-pot  which  had  stood  the 
attack  of  fourteen  cups  without  flinching,  at  last  began  to  fail,  and 
discovered  to  the  prying  eyes  of  Mrs.  Clanfrizzlc  nothing  but  an 
olive-colored  deposit  of  soft  matter,  closely  analogous  in  appearance 
and  chemical  property  to  the  residuary  precipitate  in  a  drained  fish- 
pond; she  put  down  the  lid  with  a  gentle  sigh,  and  turning  toward 
the  fire  bestowed  one  of  her  very  blandest  and  most  captivating  looks 
on  Mr.  Cudmore,  saying — as  plainly  as  looks  could  say — "  Cudmore, 
you're  wanting,"  Whether  the  youth  did  or  did  not  understand  I 
am  unable  to  record :  I  can  only  say,  the  appeal  was  made  without 
acknowledgment.  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle  again  essayed,  and  by  a  little 
masonic  movement  of  her  hand  to  the  tea-pot,  and  a  sly  glance  at 
the  hob,  intimated  her  wish — still  hopelessly ;  at  last  there  was  noth  - 
ing  for  it  but  speaking;  and  she  donned  her  very  softest  voice,  and 
most  persuasive  tone,  saying,  "  Mr.  Cudmore,  I  am  really  very 
troublesome:  will  you  permit  me  to  ask  you " 

"  Is  it  for  the  kettle,  ma'am?"  said  Cudmore,  with  a  voice,  that 
startled  the  whole  room,  disconcerting  three  whist  parties,  and  so 
absorbing  the  attention  of  the  people  at  loo,  that  the  pool  disappeared 
without  any  one  being  able  to  account  for  the  circumstance. 

"  Is  it  for  the  kettle,  ma'am?" 

"  If  you  will  be  so  very  kind,"  lisped  the  hostess. 

"  Well,  then,  upon  my  conscience,  you  are  impudent,"  said  Cud- 
more,  with  his  face  crimsoned  to  the  ears,  and  his  eyes  flashing  fire. 

"  Why,  Mr.  Cudmore,"  began  the  lady,  "why  really  this  is  so 
strange.  Why,  sir,  what  can  you  mean?" 

"  Just  that,"  said  the  imperturbable  jib,  who,  now  that  his  cour- 
age was  up,  dared  everything. 

"  But  sir,  you  must  surely  have  misunderstood  me.  I  only  asked 
for  the  kettle,  Mr.  Cudmore." 

"  The  devil  a  more,"  said  Cud,  with  a  sneer. 

"  Well,  then,  of  course " 

"  Well,  then,  I'll  tell  you  of  course,"  said  he,  repeating  her 
•words;  "  the  sorrow  taste  of  the  kettle  I'll  give  you.  Call  your  own 
skip — Blue  Pether  there —damn  me,  if  I'll  be  your  skip  any  longer." 

For  the  uninitiated  I  have  only  to  add,  that,  "  skip  "  is  theTrinily 
College  appellation  for  servant,  which  was  therefore  employed  by 
Mr.  Cudmore  on  this  occasion,  as  expressing  more  contemptuously 
his  sense  of  the  degradation  of  the  office  attempted  to  be  put  upon 
Mm.  Having  already  informed  my  reader  on  some  particulars  of  the 
company,  I  leave  him  to  suppose  how  Mr.  Cudmore's  speech  was 
received.  Whist  itself  was  at  an  end  for  that  evening,  and  nothing 
but  laughter,  long,  loud,  and  reiterated,  burst  from  every  corner  of 
the  room  for  hcurs  after. 

A»  I  have  so  far  traveled  out  of  the  record  of  my  own  peculiar 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  105 

confessions  as  to  give  a  leaf  from  what  might  one  day  form  the  mat- 
ter of  Mr.  Cudmore's,  I  must  now  make  the  only  amende  in  my 
power,  by  honestly  narrating  that,  short  as  my  visit  was  to  the  clas- 
sic precincts  of  this  agreeable  establishment,  I  did  not  escape  with- 
out exciting  my  share  of  ridicule,  though  I  certainly  had  not  the 
worst  of  the  joke,  and  may,  therefore,  with  better  grace,  tell  the 
story,  which,  happily  for  my  readers,  is  a  very  brief  one.  A  custom 
prevailed  in  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle's  household,  which  from  my  unhappy 
ignorance  of  boarding-houses,  I  am  unable  to  predicate  if  it  belong  to 
the  general  at  large,  or  this  one  specimen  in  particular;  however,  it 
is  a  sufficiently  curious  fact,  even  though  thereby  hang  no  tale,  for 
my  stating  it  here.  The  decanters  on  the  dinner  table  were  never 
labeled,  with  their  more  appropriate  designation  of  contents,  whether 
claret,  sherry,  or  port,  but  with  the  names  of  then-  respective  owners, 
it  being  a  matter  of  much  less  consequence  that  any  individual  at 
table  should  mix  his  wine,  by  pouring  "  port  upon  madeira,"  than 
commit  the  truly  legal  offense  of  appropriating  to  his  own  use  and 
benefit,  even  by  mistake,  his  neighbor's  bottle.  However  well  the 
system  may  work  among  the  regular  members  of  the  "  domestic 
circle"— and  I  am  assured  that  it  does  succeed  extremely— to  the 
newly  arrived  guest,  or  uninitiated  visitor,  the  affair  is  perplexing, 
and  leads  occasionally  to  awkward  results. 

It  so  chanced  from  my  friend  O'Flaherty's  habitual  position  at 
the  foot  of  the  table,  and  my  post  of  honor  near  the  head,  that  on 
the  first  day  of  my  appearing  there  the  distance  between  us  not  only 

Erecluded  all  possible  intercourse,  but  any  of  those  gentle  hints  as  to 
abits  and  customs,  a  new  arrival  looks  for  at  the  hands  of  his  bet- 
ter informed  friend.  The  only  mode  of  recognition,  to  prove  that 
we  belonged  to  each  other,  being  by  that  excellent  and  truly  English 
custom  of  drinking  wine  together,  Tom  seized  the  first  idle  moment 
from  his  avocation  as  carver,  to  say: 

"  Lorrequer,  a  glass  of  wine  with  you." 

Having,  of  course,  acceded,  he  again  asked. 

"  "What  wine  do  you  drink?"  intending  thereby,  as  I  afterward 
learned  to  send  me,  from  his  end  of  the  table,  what  wine  I  selected. 
Not  conceiving  the  object  of  the  inquiry,  and  having  hitherto  with- 
out hesitation  helped  myself  from  the  decanter  which  bore  some 
faint  resemblance  to  sherry,  I  immediately  turned  for  correct  infor- 
mation to  the  bottle  itself,  upon  whose  slender  neck  was  ticketed  the 
usual  slip  of  paper.  My  endeavor  to  decipher  the  writing  occupied 
time  sufficient  again  to  make  O 'Flaherty  ask: 

"  Well,  Harry,  I'm  waiting  for  you.  Will  you  have  port?" 
"  No,  I  thank  you,"  I  replied,  having  by  this  revealed  the  inscrip- 
tion. "  No,  I  thank  you.  I'll  just  stick  to  my  old  friend  here,  Bob 
M'Grotty;"  for  thus  I  rendered  familiarly  the  name  of  Rt.  M'Grotty 
on  the  decanter,  and  which  I  in  my  ignorance  believed  to  be  the 
boarding-house  soubriquet  for  bad  sherry.  That  Mr  M'Grotty  him- 
self little  relished  my  familiarity  with  either  his  name  or  property  I 
had  a  very  decisive  proof,  for,  turning  round  upon  his  chair,  and 
surveying  my  person  from  head  to  foot  with  a  look  of  fiery  wrath, 
he  thundered  out  in  very  broad  Scotch: 

"  And  by  my  saul,  my  freend,  ye  may  just  as  weel  finish  it  noo, 


100  HAUKY     LORREQUER. 

for  dcfl  a  glass  o'  his  ain  wine  did  Bob  M 'Grotty,  as  ye  ca'  him, 
swallow  this  day." 

The  convulsion  of  laughter  into  which  my  blunder  and  tin;  Scotch- 
man's passion  threw  the  whole  board  lusted  till  the  cloth  was  with- 
drawn, and  the  ladies  had  retired  to  the  drawing-room,  the  only  in- 
dividual at  table  not  relishing  the  mistake  being  the  injured  proprie- 
tor of  the  bottle,  who  was  too  proud  to  accept  reparation  from  my 
friend's  decanter,  and  would  scarcely  condescend  to  open  his  lips 
during  the  evening;  notwithstanding  which  display  of  honest  indig- 
nation, we  contrived  to  become  exceedingly  merry  and  jocose,  most 
of  the  party  communicating  little  episodes  of  their  life,  in  which,  it 
is  true,  they  frequently  figured  in  situations  that  nothing  but  their 
native  and  natural  candor  would  venture  to  avow.  One  story  I  was 
considerably  amused  at :  it  was  told  b>  the  counselor,  Mr.  Daly,  in 
illustration  of  the  difficulty  of  rising  at  the  bar,  and  which,  as  show- 
ing his  own  mode  of  obviating  the  delay  that  young  professional 
men  submit  to  from  hard  necessity,  as  well  as  in  evidence  of  his 
strictly  legal  turn,  I  shall  certainly  recount,  one  of  these  days,  for 
the  edification  of  the  junior  bar. 


CHAPTER  XTV. 

THE  CHASE. 

ON  the  morning  after  my  visit  to  the  boarding-house,  I  received  a 
few  hurried  lines  from  Curzon,  informing  me  that  no  time  was  to  be 
lost  in  joining  the  regiment — that  a  grand  fancy  ball  was  about  to  be 
given  by  the  officers  of  the  Dwarf  frigate,  then  stationed  off  Dun- 
more;  who,  when  inviting  the ,  specially  put  in  a  demand  for 

my  well-known  services  to  make  it  go  off,  and  concluding  with  an 
extract  from  the  Kilkenny  Moderator,  which  ran  thus:  "  An  intima- 
tion has  just  reached  us,  from  a  quarter  on  which  we  can  place  the 
fullest  reliance  that  the  celebrated  amateur  performer,  Mr.  Lorrequer, 
may  shortly  be  expected  amongst  us;  from  the  many  accounts  we 
have  received  of  this  highly-gifted  gentleman's  powers,  we  anticipate 
a  great  treat  to  the  lovers  of  the  drama,"  &c.,  &c.  "  So  you  see,  my 
dear  Hal,"  continued  Curzon,  "  thy  vocation  calls  thee;  therefore 
come,  and  come  quickly — provide  thyself  with  a  black  satin  cos- 
tume, slashed  with  light'blue — point  lace  collar,  and  ruffles — a  Span- 
ish hat  looped  in  front — and,  if  possible,  a  long  rapier,  with  a  flap 
hilt.  Garden  is  not  here;  so  you  can  show  your  face  under  any 
color  with  perfect  impunity,  "iours  from  the  side  scenes, 

"  C.  CURZON." 

This  clever  epistle  sufficed  to  show  me  that  the  gallant  — th  had 
gone  clean  theatrical  mad;  and  although  from  my  "  last  appear- 
ance on  any  stage,"  it  might  be  supposed  I  should  feel  no  peculiar 
desire  to  repeat  the  experiment,  yet  the  opportunity  of  joining  during 
Col.  Garden's  absence  was  too  tempting  to  resist,  and  I  at  once  made 
up  my  mind  to  set  out,  and  without  a  moment's  delay,  hurried  across 
the  street  to  the  coach  office,  to  book  myself  an  inside  in  the  mail  of 
that  night ;  fortunately  no  difficulty  existed  in  my  securing  a  seat, 
for  the  way-bill  was  a  perfect  blank,  and  I  found  myself  the  only 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  107 

person  who  had,  as  yet,  announced  himself  a  passenger.  On  return. 
Ing  to  my  hotel,  I  found  O'Flaherty  waiting  for  me;  he  was  greatly 
distressed  on  hearing  my  determination  to  leave  town — explained 
how  he  had  been  catering  for  my  amusement  for  the  week  to  come- 
that  a  picnic  to  the  Dargle  was  arranged  in  a  committee  of  the  whole 
house,  and  a  boating  party,  with  a  dinner  at  the  Pigeon-house  was 
then  under  consideration.  Resisting,  however,  such  extreme  temp- 
tations, I  mentioned  the  necessity  of  my  at  once  proceeding  to  head- 
quarters, and  all  other  reasons  for  my  precipitanc3r  failing,  concluded 
with  that  really  knock-down  argument,  "I  have  taken  my  place;" 
this,  I  need  scarcely  add,  finished  the  matter— at  least  /  have  never 
known  it  to  fail  in  such  cases.  Tell  ,your  friends  that  your  wife  is 
hourly  expected  to  be  confined;  your  favorite  child  is  in  the  measles: 
your  best  friend  waiting  yoiir  aid  in  an  awkward  scrape — your  one 
vote  only  wanting  to  turn  the  scale  in  an  election.  Tell  them,  I  say, 
each  or  all  of  these,  or  a  hundred  more  like  them,  and  to  any  one  you 
so  speak,  the  answer  is — "  Pooh,  pooh,  my  dear  fellow,  never  fear — 
don't  fuss  yourself — take  it  easy — to-morrow  will  do  just  as  well." 
If,  on  the  other  hand,  however,  you  reject  such  flimsy  excuses,  and 
simply  say,  "  I'm  booked  in  the  mail,"  the  opposition  at  once  falls 
to  the  ground,  and  your  quondam  antagonist,  who  was  ready  to 
quarrel  with  you,  is  at  once  prepared  to  assist  in  packing  your  port- 
manteau. 

Having  soon  satisfied  my  friend  Tom  lhat  resistance  was  in  vain,  I 
promised  to  eat  an  early  dinner  with  him  at  Morrison's,  and  spent 
the  better  part  of  the  morning  in  putting  down  a  few  notes  of  my 
Confessions,  as  well  as  the  particulars  of  Mr.  Daly's  story,  which,  I 
believe,  I  half  or  wholly  promised  my  readers  at  the  conclusion  of 
my  last  chapter;  but  which  I  must  defer  to  a  more  suitable  oppor- 
tunity, when  mentioning  the  next  occasion  of  my  meeting  him  on  the 
southern  circuit. 

My  dispositions  were  speedily  made.  I  was  fortunate  in  securing 
the  exact  dress  my  friend's  letter  alluded  to  among  the  stray  costumes 
of  Fishamble  street;  and  rich  in  the  possession  of  the  only  "  prop- 
erties" it  has  been  my  lot  to  acquire,  I  despatched  my  treasure  to 
the  coach  office,  and  hastened  to  Morrison's,  it  being  by  this  time 
nearly  five  o'clock.  There,  true  to  time,  I  found  O'Flaherty  deep 
in  the  perusal  of  the  bill,  along  which  figured  the  novel  expedients 
for  dining,  1  had  been  in  the  habit  of  reading  in  every  Dublin  hotel 
since  my  boyhood.  "  Mock  turtle,  mutton,  gravy,  roast  beef,  and 
potatoes — shoulder  of  mutton  and  potatoes!  ducks,  peas  and  pota- 
toes ! !  ham  and  chicken,  cutlet  steak  and  potatoes ! ! !  apple  tart  and 
cheese;"  with  a  slight  cadenza  of  a  sigh  over  the  distant  glories  of 
Very,  or  still  better  the  "  Frfires,"  we  sat  down  to  a  very  patriarchal 
repast,  and  what  may  be  always  had  par  excellence  in  Dublin,  a 
bottle  of  Sneyd's  claret. 

Poor  Tom's  spirits  were  rather  below  their  usual  pitch;  and  al- 
though he  made  many  efforts  to  rally  and  appear  gay,  he  could  not 
accomplish  it.  However,  we  chatted  away  over  old  times  and  old 
friends,  and  forgetting  all  else  but  the  topics  we  talked  of,  the  time- 
piece over  the  chimney  first  apprised  me  that  two  whole  hours  had 
gone  by,  and  that  it  was  now  seven  o'clock,  the  very  hour  the  roach 
was  to  start.  I  started  up  at  once,  and  notwithstanding  all  Tom's 


108  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

representations  of  the  impossibility  of  my  being  in  time,  had  dis- 
patched waiters  in  different  directions  for  a  jarvey,  more  than  ever 
determined  upon  going;  so  often  is  it  that  when  real  reasons  for  our 
conduct  are  wanting,  any  casual  or  chance  opposition  confirms  us  in 
an  intention  which  before  was  but  uncertain.  Seeing  me  so  resolved, 
Tom  at  length  gave  way,  and  advised  my  pursuing  the  mail,  which 
must  be  gone  now  at  least  ten  minutes,  and  which,  with  smart  driv- 
ing, I  should  probably  overtake  before  getting  free  of  the  city,  as 
they  have  usually  many  delays  in  so  doing.  I  at  once  ordered  out 
the  "yellow  post-chaise,"  and  before  many  minutes  had  elapsed, 
what  with  imprecation  and  bribery,  I  started  in  pursuit  of  his 
Majesty's  Cork  and  Kilkenny  mail-coach,  then  patiently  waiting  in 
the  court-yard  of  the  Post  Ofhce. 

"  Which  way  now,  your  honor?"  said  a  shrill  voice  from  the  dark 
• — for  such  the  night  had  already  become;  and  threatened,  with  a  few 
heavy  drops  of  straight  rain,  the  fall  of  a  tremendous  shower. 

"  The  Naas  road,"  said  I;  "  and  harkye,  my  fine  fellow,  if  you 
overtake  the  coach  in  half  an  hour,  I'll  double  your  fare. " 

"  Begorra,  I'll  do  my  endayvor,"  said  the  youth;  at  the  same  in- 
Btant  dashing  in  both  spurs,  we  rattled  down  Nassau  street  at  a 
very  respectable  pace  for  harriers.  Street  after  street  we  passed,  and 
at  last  I  perceived  we  had  "got  clear  of  the  city,  and  were  leaving  the 
long  line  of  lamp-lights  behind  us.  The  night  was  now  pitch-dark. 
I  could  not  see  anything  whatever.  The  quick  clattering  of  the 
wheels,  the  sharp  crack  of  the  postilion's  whip,  or  the  still  sharper 
tones  of  his  "  gee-up,"  showed  me  we  were  going  at  a  tremendous 
rate,  had  I  not  even  had  the  experience  afforded  by  the  frequent 
visits  my  head  paid  to  the  roof  of  the  chaise,  so  often  as  we  bounded 
over  a  stone,  or  splashed  through  a  hollow.  Dark  and  gloomy  as  it 
was,  I  constantly  let  down  the  window,  and  with  half  my  body  pro- 
truded, I  endeavored  to  catch  a  glimpse  of  the  "  Chase;"  but  noth- 
ing could  I  see.  The  rain  fell  in  actual  torrents;  and  a  more  miser- 
able night  it  is  impossible  to  conceive. 

After  about  an  hour  so  spent,  we  at  last  came  to  a  check,  so  sudden 
and  unexpected  on  my  part,  that  I  was  nearly  precipitated,  harlequin 
fashion,  through  the  front  window.  Perceiving  that  we  no  longer 
moved,  and  suspecting  that  some  part  of  our  tackle  had  given  away, 
I  let  down  the  sash  and  cried  out — "  Well  now,  my  lad,  anything 
wrong?"  My  question  was,  however,  unheard;  and  although  amid 
the  steam  arising  from  the  wet  and  smoking  horses,  I  could  per- 
ceive several  figures  indistinctly  moving  about,  I  could  not  distin- 
guish what  they  were  doing,  nor  what  they  said.  A  laugh  I  certainly 
did  hear,  and  heartily  cursed  the  unfeeling  wretch  as  I  supposed  him 
to  be,  who  was  enjoying  himself  at  my  disappointment.  I  again,  en- 
deavored to  find  out  what  had  happened,  and  called  out  still  louder 
than  before. 

"  We  are  at  Ra'coole,  your  honor,"  said  the-boy,  approaching  the 
door  of  the  chaise,  "  and  she's  only  beat  us  by  hafe  a  mile." 

"  Who  the  devil  is  she?"  said  I. 

"  The  mail,  your  honor,  is  always  a  female  in  Ireland." 

"  Then  why  do  you  stop  now?  You're  not  going  to  feed,  I  sup. 
pose?" 

"  Of  course  not,  your  honor,  it's  little  feeding  troubles  these 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  109 

bastes,  anyhow,  but  they  tell  me  the  road  is  so  heavy  we'll  never 
take  the  chaise  over  the  next  stage  without  leaders." 

"  Without  leaders!"  said  I.  "  Pooh!  my  good  fellow,  nohumbug- 
ging;  four  horses  for  a  light  post-chaise  and  no  luggage;  come,  get 
up,  and  no  nonsense."  At  this  moment  a  man  apprached  the  win- 
dow with  a  lantern  in  his  hand,  and  so  strongly  represented  the 
dreadful  state  of  the  roads  from  the  late  rains — the  length  of  the 
stage — the  frequency  of  accidents  latterly  from  under-horsing,  &c. 
&c.,  that  I  yielded  a  reluctant  assent,  and  ordered  out  the  leaders, 
comforting  myself  the  while,  that,  considering  the  inside  fare  of  the 
coach  I  made  such  efforts  to  overtake  was  under  a  pound,  and  time 
was  no  object  to  me,  I  certainly  was  paying  somewhat  dearly  for  my 
character  for  resolution. 

At  last  we  got  under  way  once  more,  and  set  off  cheered  by  a  tre- 
mendous shout  from  at  least  a  dozen  persons,  doubtless  denizens  of 
that  interesting  locality,  amongst  which  I  once  again  heard  the  laugh 
that  had  so  much  annoyed  me  already.  The  rain  was  falling,  if  pos- 
sible, more  heavily  than  before,  and  had  evidently  set  in  for  the  entire 
night.  Throwing  myself  back  into  a  corner  of  the  "  leathern  con- 
venience," I  gave  myself  up  to  the  full  enjoyment  of  the  Rouche- 
f oucauld  maxim  that  there  is  always  a  pleasure  felt  in  the  misfortunes 
of  even  our  best  friends,  and  certainly  experienced  no  small  comfort 
in  my  distress,  by  contrasting  my  present  position  with  that  of  my 
two  friends  in  the  saddle,  as  they  sweltered  on  through  mud  and 
mire,  rain  and  storm.  On  we  went,  splashing,  bumping,  rocking  and 
jolting,  till  I  began  at  last  to  have  serious  thoughts  of  abdicating  the 
seat  and  betaking  myself  to  the  bottom  of  the  chaise,  for  safety  and 
protection.  Mile  after  mile  succeeded,  and  as  after  many  a  short 
and  fitful  slumber,  which  my  dreams  gave  an  apparent  length  to, 
I  woke  only  to  find  myself  still  in  pursuit — the  time  seemed  so  enor 
mously  protracted,  that  I  began  to  fancy  my  whole  life  was  to  be 
passed  in  the  dark,  in  chase  of  the  Kilkenny  mail,  as  we  read  in  the 
true  history  of  the  flying  Dutchman,  who,  for  his  sins  of  impatience 
— like  mine — spent  centuries  vainly  endeavoring  to  double  the  Cape, 
or  the  Indian  mariner  in  Moore's  beautiful  ballad,  of  whom  we  are 
told  as — 

"  Many  a  day  to  night  grave  way. 

And  many  a  morn  succeeded, 
Yet  still  his  flight  by  day  and  night, 

That  restless  mariner  speeded." 

This  might  have  been  all  very  well  in  the  tropics,  with  a  smart 
craft  and  doubtless  plenty  of  sea-store — but  in  a  chaise,  at  night, 
and  on  the  Naas  road,  I  humbly  suggest  I  had  all  the  worst  of  the 
parallel. 

At  last  the  altered  sound  of  the  wheels  gave  notice  of  our  approach 
to  a  town,  and  after  about  twenty  minutes'  rattling  over  the  pavement 
we  entered  what  I  supposed  correctly  to  be  Naas.  Here  I  had  long 
since  determined  my  pursuit  should  cease.  I  had  done  enough,  and 
more  than  enough,  to  vindicate  my  fame  against  any  charge  of  irres- 
olution as  to  leaving  Dublin,  and  was  bethinking  me  of  the  various 
modes  of  prosecuting  my  journey  on  the  morrow,  when  we  drew 
suddenly  up  at  the  door  of  the  Swan.  The  arrival  of  a  chaise  and 
four  at  a  small  country  town  inn  suggests  to  the  various  employe* 


110  1IAKKY     LOKHKQUER. 

therein  anything  rather  than  the  traveler  in  pursuit  of  the  mail,  and 
so  the  moment  I  arrived  I  was  assailed  with  innumerable  proffers 
of  horses,  supper,  bed,  &c.  3Iy  anxious  query  was  thrice  repeated 
in  vain,  "  When  did  the  coach  pass?" 

"The  mail,"  replied  the  landlord,  at  length.  "  Is  it  the  down 
mail?" 

Not  understanding  the  technical,  I  answered,  "  Of  course  not  the 
Down — the  Kilkenny  and  Cork  mail?" 

"  From  Dublin,  sir?" 

"  Yes,  from  Dublin." 

"  Not  arrived  yet,  sir,  nor  will  it  for  three  quarters  of  an  hour; 
they  never  leave  Dublin  till  a  quarter  past  seven;  that  is,  in  fact, 
half  past,  and  their  time  here  is  twenty  minutes  to  eleven." 

"  Why,  you  stupid  son  of  a  boot-top,  we  have  been  posting  on  all 
night  like  the  devil,  and  all  this  time  the  coach  has  been  ten  miles 
behind  us." 

"  Well,  we've  cotch  them  anyhow,"  said  the  urchin,  as  he  disen- 
gaged himself  from  his  wet  saddle  and  stood  upon  the  ground,  ' '  and 
it  is  not  my  fault  that  the  coach  is  not  before  us." 

With  a  satisfactory  anathema  upon  all  innkeepers,  waiters,  hostlers, 
and  post-boys  with  a  codicil  including  coach  proprietors,  I  followed 
the  smirking  landlord  into  a  well-lighted  room,  with  a  blazing  lire, 
•when,  having  ordered  supper,  I  soon  regained  my  equanimity. 

My  rasher  and  poached  eggs,  all  Naas  could  afford  me,  were  speed- 
ily dispatched,  and  as  my  last  glass  from  one  pint  of  sherry  was 
poured  out,  the  long-expected  coach  drew  up.  A  minute  after  the 
coachman  entered  to  take  his  dram,  followed  by  the  guard,  a  more 
lamentable  spectacle  of  condensed  moisture  cannot  be  conceived ;  the 
rain  fell  from  the  entire  circumference  of  his  broad-brimmed  hat,  like 
the  ever-flowing  drop  from  the  edge  of  an  antique  fountain ;  his  drab 
coat  had  become  of  a  deep  orange  hue,  while  his  huge  figure  loomed 
still  larger  as  he  stood  amid  a  nebula  of  damp  that  would  have  made 
an  atmosphere  for  the  Georgium  Sidus. 

"  Going  on  to-night,  sir?"  said  he,  addressing  me,  "  severe  weath- 
er, and  no  chance  of  its  clearing,  but  of  course  you're  inside." 

•''Why,  there  is  very  little  doubt  of  that,"  said  I.  "Are  you 
aearly  full  inside?" 

"Only  one,  sir;  but  he  seems  a  real  queer  chap;  made  fifty  in- 
quiries at  the  office  if  he  could  not  have  the  whole  inside  to  himself, 
»nd  when  he  heard  that  one  place  had  been  taken — yours,  I  believe, 
sir — he  seemed  like  a  scalded  bear. ' ' 

"  You  don't  know  his  name,  then?" 

"  No,  sir,  he  never  gave  a  name  at  the  office,  and  his  only  luggage 
is  two  brown  paper  parcels,  without  any  ticket,  and  he  has  them  in- 
eide;  indeed,  he  never*lets  them  from  him  even  for  a  second." 

Here  the  guard's  horn,  announcing  all  ready,  interrupted  the  col- 
loquy, and  prevented  my  learning  anything  further  of  my  fellow- 
traveler,  whom,  however,  I  at  once  set  down  in  my  own  mind  for 
some  confounded  old  churl  that  made  himself  comfortable  every- 
where, without  ever  thinking  of  any  one  else's  convenience. 

As  I  passed  from  the  inn  door  to  the  coach,  I  once  more  congrat- 
ulated myself  that  I  was  about  to  be  housed  from  the  terrific  storm  o£ 
wind  and  rain  that  railed  without. 


HARRY    LORREQUER,  111 

*'  Here's  the  step,  sir,"  said  the  guard.  "  Get  in,  sir;  two  minutes 
iate  already." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  sir,"  said  I,  as  I  half  fell  over  the  legs  of  my 
unseen  companion.  "  May  I  request  leave  to  pass  you?"  While  he 
made- way  for  me  for  this  purpose,  I  perceived  that  he  stooped  down- 
toward  the  guard  and  said  something— who,  from  his  answer,  had 
evidently  been  questioned  as  to  who  1  was.  "  And  how  did  he  get 
here,  if  he  took  his  place  in  Dublin?"  asked  the  unknown. 

"  Came  half  an  hour  since,  sir,  in  a  chaise  and  four,"  said  the 
guard,  as  lie  banged  the  door  behind  him,  and  closed  the  interview. 

Whatever  might  have  been  the  reasons  for  my  fellow-traveler's 
anxiety  about  my  name  and  occupation,  I  knew  not,  yet  could  not 
help  feeling  gratified  at  thinking  that,  as  1  had  not  given  my  name  at 
the  coach-office,  I  was  as  great  a  puzzle  to  him  as  he  to  me. 

"A  severe  night,  sir,"  said  I,  endeavoring  to  break  ground  in 
conversation. 

"  Mighty  severe, "  briefly  and  half  crushingly  replied  the  unknown 
with  a  richness  of  brogue  that  might  have  stood  for  a  certificate  of 
baptism  in  Cork  or  its  vicinity. 

"  And  a  bad  road,  too,  sir,"  said  I,  remembering  my  lately  accom- 
plished stage. 

''  That's  the  reason  I  always  go  armed,"  said  the  unknown,  clink- 
ing at  the  same  moment  something  like  the  barrel  of  a  pistol. 

Wondering  somewhat  at  his  readiness  to  mistake  my  meaning,  I 
felt  disposed  to  drop  any  further  effort  to  draw  him  out,  and  was 
about  to  address  myself  to  sleep,  as  comfortably  as  I  could. 

"  I'll  jist  trouble  ye  to  lean  aff  that  little  parcel  there,  sir,"  said  he, 
as  he  displaced  from  its  position  beneath  my  elbow  one  of  the  paper 
packages  the  guard  had  already  alluded  to. 

In  complying  with  this  rather  gruff  demand,  one  of  my  pocket 
pistols,  which  I  carried  in  my  breast-pocket,  fell  out  upon  his  knee, 
upon  which  he  immediately  started,  and  asked  hurriedly — "  and  are 
you  armed  too?" 

"Why,  yes,"  said  I,  laughingly;  "men  of  my  trade  seldom  go 
without  something  of  this  kind." 

"  Be  gorra,  I  was  just  thinking  that  same,"  said  the  traveler,  with 
a  half  sigh  to  himself. 

Why  he  should  or  should  not  have  thought  so,  I  never  troubled 
myself  to  canvass,  and  was  once  more  settling  myself  in  my  corner, 
when  I  was  startled  by  a  very  melancholy  groan,  which  seemed  to 
come  from  the  bottom  of  my  companion's  heart. 

"  Are  you  ill,  sir?"  said  I,  in  a  voice  of  some  anxiety. 

"  You  may  say  that,"  replied  he— "  if  you  knew  who  you  were 
talking  to— although  maybe  you've  heard  enough  of  me,  though  you 
never  saw  me  till  now." 

"Without  having  that  pleasure  even  yet,"  said  I,  "it  would 
grieve  me  to  think  you  should  be  ill  in  the  coach." 

"  Maybe  it  might,"  briefly  replied  the  unknown,  with  a  species  of 
meaning  in  his  words  I  could  not  then  understand.  "  Did  ye  never 
hear  tell  of  Barney  Doyle?"  said  he. 

"  Not  to  my  recollection." 

"  Then  I'm  Barney,"  said  he;  "  that's  in  all  the  newspapers  in  the 
metropolis;  I'm  seventeen  weeks  in  Jervis-street  hospital,  and  fourii? 


112  HARRY    LORREQUEE. 

the  Lunatic,  and  the  devil  a  better  after  all;  you  must  be  a  stranger, 
I'm  thinking,  or  you'd  know  me  now." 

"  Why  I  do  confess,  I've  only  been  a  few  hours  in  Ireland  for  tha 
last  six  months." 

*    "  Ay,  that's  the  reason;  I  knew  you  would  not  be  fond  of  travel- 
ing with  me,  if  you  knew  who  it  was." 

"  Why,  really,"  said  I,  beginning  at  the  moment  to  fathom  some 
of  the  hints  of  my  companion,  "  I  did  not  anticipate  the  pleasure  of 
meeting  you." 

"  It's  pleasure  ye  call  it;  then  there's  no  accountin'  for  tastes,  as 
Dr.  Colics  said,  when  he  saw  me  bite  Cusack  Rooney's  thumb  off." 

"  Bite  a  man's  thumb  off?"  said  I,  in  a  horror. 

"  Ay,"  said  he,  with  a  kind  of  fiendish  animation,  "  in  one  chop. 
I  wish  you'd  see  how  I  scattered  the  consultation;  begad  they  didn't 
wait  to  ax  for  a  fee." 

Upon  my  soul,  a  very  pleasant  vicinity,  thought  I.  "  And  may  I 
ask,  sir,"  said  I,  in  a  very  mild  and  soothing  tone  of  voice,  "  may  I 
ask  the  reason  for  this  singular  propensity  of  yours?" 

"  There  it  is  now,  my  dear,"  said  he,  laying  his  hand  upon  my 
knee  familiarly,  "that's  just  the  very  thing  they  can't  make  out. 
Colles  says,  it's  all  the  ceribellum,  ye  see,  that's  inflamed  and  com- 
busted, and  some  of  the  others  think  it's  the  spine;  and  more,  the 
muscles ;  but  my  real  impression  is,  the  devil  a  bit  they  know  about 
Hat  all." 

"  And  have  they  no  name  for  the  malady?"  said  I. 


"Oh,  sure  enough,  they  have  a  name  for  it." 
"  And,  may  I  ask " 


may 

"  Why,  I  think  you'd  better  not,  because,  ye  see,  maybe  I  might 
be  troublesome  to  ye  in  the  night,  though  I'll  not  if  I  can  help  it, 
and  it  might  be  uncomfortable  to  you  to  be  here  if  I  was  to  get  one 
of  the  fits." 

"  One  of  the  fits.  Why,  it's  not  possible,  sir,"  said  I,  "  you  would 
travel  in  a  public  conveyance  in  the  state  you  mention ;  your  friends 
surely  would  not  permit  it?" 

"  Why,  if  they  knew,  perhaps,"  slyly  responded  the  interesting  in 
valid,  "  if  they  knew,  they  might  not  exactly  like  it;  but  ye  see  1 
escaped  only  last  night,  and  there'll  be  a  fine  hubbub  in  the  morn- 
ing, when  they  find  I'm  off;  though  I'm  thinking  Rooney's  barking 
away  by  this  time." 

"  Kooney  barking!  why,  what  does  that  mean?" 

"  They  always  bark  for  a  day  or  two  after  they're  bit,  if  the  in- 
fection comes  first  from  the  dog." 

"  You  are  surely  not  speaking  of  hydrophobia,"  said  I,  my  hair 
actually  bristling  with  horror  and  consternation. 

"  Ayn't  I?"  replied  he;  "  maybe  you've  guessed  it,  though." 

"  And  have  you  the  malady  on  you  at  present?"  said  I,  trembling 
for  the  answer. 

"  This  is  the  ninth  day  since  I  took  to  biting,"  said  he,  gravely, 
perfectly  unconscious,  as  it  appeared,  of  the  terror  such  information 
was  calculated  to  convey. 

"And  with  such  a  propensity,  sir,  do  you  think  yourself  war- 
ranted in  traveling  in  a  public  coach,  exposing  others " 


HARRY    LORREQUEE.  US 

"You'd  better  not  raise  your  voice  that  way,"  quietly  responded 
ner;  "  if  I'm  roused,  it'll  be  worse  for  ye,  that's  all." 

"  Well,  but,"  said  I,  moderating  my-zeal,  "  is  it  exactly  prudent, 
fa  your  delicate  state,  to  undertake  a  journey?" 

"  Ah,"  said  he,  with  a  sigh,  "  I've  been  longing  tc  see  the  fox 
hounds  throw  off,  near  Kilkenny;  these  three  weeks  I've  been 
thinking  of  nothing  else;  but  I'm  not  sure  how  my  nerves  will  stand 
the  cry;  I  might  be  throublesome. " 

"  Upon  my  soul,"  thought  I,  "  I  shall  not  select  .that  morning  for 
my  debut  in  the  field. " 

•'  I  hope,  sir,  there's  no  river  or  water-course  on  this  road — any- 
thing else  I  can,  I  hope,  control  myself  against;  but  water — running 
water  particularly — makes  me  throublesome. " 

Well  knowing  what  he  meant  by  the  latter  phrase,  I  felt  the  cold 
perspiration  settling  on  my  forehead,  as  I  remembered  that  we  must 
be  within  about  ten  or  twelve  miles  of  Leighlin -bridge,  where  we 
should  have  to  pass  a  very  wide  river.  I  strictly  concealed  this  fact 
from  him,  however,  and  gave  him  to  understand  that  there  was  not  a 
well,  brook  or  rivulet,  for  forty  miles  on  either  side  of  us.  He  now 
sunk  into  a  kind  of  moody  silence,  broken  occasionally  by  a  low 
muttering  noise,  as  if  speaking  to  himself — what  this  might  portend, 
I  knew  not — but  thought  it  better,  under  all  circumstances,  not  to 
disturb  him.  How  comfortable  my  present  condition  was,  I  need 
scarcely  remark — sitting  vis-d-vis  to  a  lunatic,  with  a  pair  of  pistols 
in  his  possession — who  had  already  avowed  his  consciousness  of  his 
tendency  to  do  mischief,  and  his  inability  t6  master  it;  all  this  in  the 
dark,  and  in  the  narrow  limits  of  a  mail-coach,  where  there  wag 
scarcely  room  for  defense,  and  no  possibility  of  escape — how  heartily 
I  wished  myself  back  in  the  coffee-room  at  Morrison's,  with  my  poor 
friend  Tom — the  infernal  chaise  that  I  cursed  a  hundred  times, 
would  have  been  an  "  exchange,"  better  than  into  the  Life  Guards 
— ay,  even  the  outside  of  the  coach,  if  I  could  only  reach  it,  would, 
under  present  circumstances,  be  a  glorious  alternative  to  my  existing 
misfortune.  What  were  rain  and  storm  and  thunder  and  lightning 
compared  with  the  chances  that  awaited  me  here? — wet  through  I 
•hould  inevitably  be,  but  then  I  had  not  yet  contracted  the  horror  of 
moisture  my  friend  opposite  labored  under.  "  Ha!  what  is  that?  is 
it  possible  he  can  be  asleep;  is  it  really  a  snore?  Heaven  grant  that 
little  snort  be  not  what  the  medical  people  call  a  premonitory  symp- 
tom —if  so,  he'll  be  in  upon  me  now  in  no  time.  Ah  there  it  is  again ; 
he  must  be  asleep  surely;  now  then  is  my  time  or  never. "  With 
these  words  muttered  to  myself,  and  a  heart  throbbing  almost  audi- 
bly at  the  risk  of  his  awakening,  I  slowly  let  down  the  window  of  the 
coach,  and  stretching  forth  my  hand,  turned  the  handle  cautiously 
and  slowly;  I  next  disengaged  my  legs,  and  by  a  long  continuous 
effort  of  creeping — which  I  had  learned  perfectly  once,  when  prac- 
ticing to  go  as  a  boa  constrictor  to  a  fancy  ball — I  withdrew  myself 
from  the  seat  and  reached  the  step,  when  I  muttered  something  very 
like  a  thanksgiving  to  Providence  for  my  rescue.  With  little  diffi- 
culty I  now  climbed  up  beside  the  guard,  whose  astonishment  at  my 
appearance  was  indeed  considerable — that  any  man  should  prefer  the 
out  to  the  inside  of  a  coach  in  such  a  night  was  rather  remarkable: 
but  that  the  person  so  doing  should  be  totally  unprovided  with  a 


114  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

box- coat,  or  other  similar  protection,  argued  something  so  strange, 
that  I  doubt  not,  if  he  were  to  decide  upon  the  applicability  of  the 
statute  of  lunacy  to  a  traveler  in  the  mail,  the  palm  would  certainly 
have  been  awarded  to  me,  and  not  to  my  late  companion.  Well,  on 
we  rolled,  and  heavily  as  the  rain  poured  down,  so  relieved  did  I 
feel  at  my  change  of  position,  that  I  soon  fell  fast  asleep,  and  never 
woke  till  the  coach  was  driving  up  Patrick-street.  Whatever  solace 
to  my  feelings  reaching  the  outside  of  the  coach  might  have  been 
attended  with  at  night,  the  pleasure  I  experienced  on  awaking,  was 
really  not  unalloyed.  More  dead  than  alive  I  sat  a  mass  of  wet 
clothes,  like  nothing  under  heaven  except  it  be  that  morsel  of  black 
and  spongy  wet  cotton  at  the  bottom  of  a  school-boy's  ink-bottle, 
saturated  with  rain,  and  the  black  dye  of  my  coat.  My  hat,  too,  had 
contributed  its. share  of  coloring  matter,  and  several  long  black 
streaks  coursed  down  my  "  wrinkled  front  "  giving  me  very  much 
the  air  of  an  Indian  warrior,  who  had  got  the  fiist  priming  of  his 
war  paint.  1  certainly  must  have  been  a  rueful  object,  were  I  only  to 
judge  from  the  faces  of  the  waiters  as  they  gazed  on  me  when  the 
coach  drew  up  at  Rice  &  Walsh's  hotel.  Cold,  wet  and  weary  as  I 
was,  my  curiosity  to  learn  more  of  my  late  agreeable  companion  was 
strong  as  ever  within  me — perhaps  stronger,  from  the  sacrifices  his 
acquaintance  had  exacted  from  me.  Before,  however,  I  had  disen- 
gaged myself  from  the  pile  of  trunks  and  carpet-bags  I  had  sur- 
rounded myself  with — he  had  got  out  of  the  coach,  and  all  I  could 
catch  a  glimpse  of  was  the  back  of  a  little  short  man  in  a  kind  of 
gray  upper  coat,  and  long  galligaskins  on  his  legs.  He  earned  his 
two  bundles  under  his  arm  and  stepped  nimbly  up  the  steps  of  the 
hotel,  without  ever  turning  his  head  to  either  side. 

"  Don't  fancy  you  shall  escape  me  now,  my  good  friend,"  I  cried 
out,  as  I  sprang  from  the  roof  tft  the  ground,  with  one  jump,  and 
hurried  after  the  great  unknown  into  the  coffee-room.  By  the  time 
I  reached  it  he  had  approached  the  fire,  on  the  table  near  which, 
having  deposited  the  mysterious  paper  parcels,  he  was  now  busily 
engaged  hi  divesting  himself  of  his  great  coat;  his  face  was  stili 
turned  from  me,  so  that  I  had  time  to  appear  employed  in  divesting 
myself  of  my  wet  drapery  before  he  perceived  me;*  at  last  (ho  coat 
was  unbuttoned,  the  gaiters  followed,  and  throwing  them  carelessly 
on  a  chair,  he  tucked  up  the  skirts  of  his  coat,  and  spreading  himself 
comfortably  a  I'Anglaise  before  the  fire,  displayed  to  my  wondering 
and  stupefied  gaze  the  pleasant  features  of  Dr.  Finucanc. 

"Why,  Dr.— Dr.  Finucane,"  cried  I;  "is  this  possible!  Were 
you  then  really  the  inside  in  the  mail  last  night  ?" 

"  Devil  a  doubt  of  it,  Mr.  Lorrequer;  and  may  I  make  bould  to 
ask — were  you  the  outside?" 

"  Then  what,  may  I  beg  to  know,  did  you  mean  by  your  damned 
story  about  Barney  Doyle,  and  the  hydrophobia,  and  Cusack 
Rooney's  thumb — eh?" 

"  Oh,  by  the  Lord,"  said  Finucane,  "  this  will  be  the  death  of  me; 
and  it  was  you  that  I  drove  outside  in  all  the  rain  last  night !  Oh, 
it  will  kill  Father  Malachi  outright  with  laughing,  when  1  tell  him!" 
and  he  burst  out  into  a  fit  of  merriment  that  nearly  induced  me  to 
break  his  head  with  the  poker. 

"  Am  I  to  understand,  then,  Mr.  Finucane,  that  this  practical  joke 


HARRY    LORRBQUER.  115 

of  yours  vvas  contrived  for  my  benefit,  and  for  the  purpose  of  hold- 
ing me  up  to  the  ridicule  of  your  confounded  acquaintances." 

"  Nothing  of  the  kind,  upon  my  conscience,"  said  Fin,  drying  his 
eyes,  and  endeavoring  to  look  sorry  and  sentimental.  "  If  I  had 
only  the  least  suspicion  in  life  that  it  was  you,  upon  my  oath  I'd  not 
have  had  the  hydrophobia  at  all,  and  to  tell  you  the  truth,  you  were 
not  the  only  one  frightened— you  alarmed  me  devilishly  too." 

"  I  alarmed  you!    Why,  how  can  that  be?" 

"  Why,  the  real  affair  is  this:  I  was  bringing  these  two  packages 
of  notes  down  to  rny  cousin  Callaghan's  bank  in  Cork— fifteen  thou- 
sand pounds— devil  a  less ;  and  when  you  came  into  the  coach  at 
Naas,  after  driving  there  with  your  four  horses,  I  thought  it  was  all 
up  with  me.  The  guard  just  whispered  in  my  ear  that  he  saw  you 
look  at  the  priming  of  your  pistols  before  getting  in ;  and  faith  I 
said  four  paters,  and  a  hail  Mary,  before  you'd  count  five.  Well, 
when  you  got  seated,  the  thought  came  into  my  mind  that  may  be, 
highwayman  as  you  were,  you  would  not  like  dying  a  natural  death, 
more  particularly  if  you  were  an  Irishman ;  and  so  I  trumped  up  that 
long  story  about  the  hydrophobia,  and  the  gentleman's  thumb,  and 
devil  knows  what  besides ;  and  while  I  was  telling  it,  the  cold  per- 
spiration was  running  down  my  head  and  face,  for  every  time  you 
stirred,  I  said  to  myself,  now  he'll  do  it.  Two  or  three  times,  do 
you  know,  I  was  going  to  offer  you  ten  shillings  in  the  pound,  and 
spare  my  life ;  and  once,  God  forgive  me,  I  thought  it  would  not  be 
a  bad  plan  to  shoot  you  by  '  mistake,'  do  you  perceave." 

"  Why,  upon  my  soul,  I'm  very  much  obliged  to  you  for  your  ex- 
cessivel}'  kind  intentions;  but  really  I  feel  you  have  done  quite 
enough  for  me  on  the  present  occasion.  But,  come  now,  doctor,  I 
must  get  to  bed,  and  before  I  go,  promise  me  two  things— to  dine 
with  us  to-day  at  the  mess,  and  not  to  mention  a  syllable  of  what 
occurred  last  night— it  tells,  believe  me,  very  badly  for  both;  so, 
keep  the  secret,  for  if  these  confounded  fellows  of  ours  ever  get  hold 
of  it,  I  may  sell  out,  or  quit  the  army;  I'll  never  hear  the  end  of  it." 

"  Never  fear,  my  boy;  trust  me.  I'll  dine  with  you,  and  you're 
as  safe  as  a  church-mouse  for  anything  I'll  tell  them;  so,  now  you'd 
better  change  your  clothes,  for  I'm  thinking  it  rained  last  night." 

Muttering  some  very  dubious  blessings  upon  the  learned  Fin,  I 
left  the  room,  infinitely  more  chagrined,  and  chopfallen  at  the  dis- 
covery I  had  made,  than  at  all  the  misery  and  exposure  the  trick  had 
consigned  me  to.  "  However,"  thought  I,  "  if  the  doctor  keeps  his 
word,  all  goes  well:  the  whole  affair  is  between  us  both  solely;  but, 
should  it  not  be  so,  I  may  shoot  half  the  mess  before  the  other  half 
would  give  up  quizzing  me."  Revolving  such  pleasant  thoughts,  I 
betook  myself  to  bed,  and  what  with  mulled  port,  and  a  blazing  fire, 
became  once  more  conscious  of  being  a  warm-blooded  animal,  and 
fell  sound  asleep  to  dream  of  doctors,  strait  waistcoats,  shaved  heads, 
and  all  the  pleasing  associations  my  late  companion's  narrative  so 
readily  suggested. 


116  HARRY    LORREQUER. 


CHAPTER  XV. 

MEMS.  OF  THE  NORTH  CORK. 

AT  six  o'clock  I  had  the  pleasure  of  presenting  the  worthy  Dr. 
Finucane  to  our  mess,  taking  at  the  same  time  an  opportunity  unob- 
served by  him,  to  inform  three  or  four  of  my  brother  officers  that 
my  friend  was  really  a  character,  abounding  in  native  drollery,  and 
richer  in  good  stories  than  even  the  generality  of  his  countrymen. 

Nothing  could  possibly  go  on  better  than  the  early  part  of  the 
evening.  Fin,  true  to  his  promise,  never  once  alluded  to  what  I 
could  plainly  perceive  was  ever  uppermost  in  his  mind,  and  what 
with  his  fund  of  humor,  quaintness  of  expression,  and  quickness  at 
reply,  garnished  throughout  by  his  most  mellifluous  brogue,  the  true 
"  Bocca  Corkana,"  kept  us  from  one  roar  of  laughter  to  another.  It 
was  just  at  the  moment  in  which  his  spirits  seemed  at  their  highest, 
that  I  had  the  misfortune  to  call  upon  him  for  a  story,  which  his 
cousin  Father  Malachi  had  alluded  to  on  the  ever-memorable  even- 
ing at  his  house,  and  which  I  had  a  great  desire  to  hear  from  Fin's 
own  lips.  He  seemed  disposed  to  escape  telling  it,  and  upon  my 
continuing  to  press  my  request,  dryly  remarked ; 

"  You  forget,  surely,  my  dear  Mr.  Lorrequer,  the  weak  condition 
I'm  in;  and  these  gentlemen  here,  they  don't  know  what  a  severe 
illness  I've  been  laboring  under  lately,  or  they  would  not  pass  the 
decanter  so  freely  down  this  quarter." 

I  had  barely  time  to  throw  a  mingled  look  of  entreaty  and  menace 
across  the  table,  when  half  a  dozen  others  rightly  judging  from  the 
doctor's  tone  and  serio-comic  expression,  that  his  malady  had  many 
more  symptoms  of  fun  than  suffering  about  it,  called  out  together: 

"  Oh,  doctor,  by  all  means,  tell  us  the  nature  of  your  late  attack; 
pray  relate  it." 

"With  Mr.  Lorrequer's  permission,  I'm  your  slave,  gentlemen," 
said  Fin,  finishing  oil'  his  glasss. 

"  Oh,  as  for  me,"  I  cried,  "  Dr.  Finucane  has  my  full  permission 
to  detail  whatever  he  pleases  to  think  a  fit  subject  for  your  amuse- 
ment." 

"  Come,  then,  doctor,  Harry  has  no  objection,  you  see;  so  out  with 
it;  and  we  are  all  prepared  to  sympathize  with  your  woes  and  mis- 
fortunes, whatever  they  be." 

"  Well,  I  am  sure  I  never  could  think  of  mentioning  it  without 

his  leave;  but  now  that  he  sees  no  objection Eh,  do  you, 

though?  if  so,  then,  don't  be  winking  and  making  faces  at  me;  but 
say  the  word,  and  devil  a  syllable  of  it  I'll  tell  to  man  or  mortal." 

The  latter  part  of  this  delectable  speech  was  addressed  to  me  across 
the  table,  hi  a  species  of  singe  whisper,  in  reply  to  some  telegraphic 
signals  I  had  been  throwing  him,  to  induce  him  to  turn  the  conver- 
sation into  any  other  channel. 

"Then,  that's  enough,"  continued  he,  sotto  toce— "  I  see  you'd 
rather  I'd  not  tell  it." 

"  Tell  it  and  be  d— — d,"  said  I,  wearied  by  the  incorrigible  per- 


HARRY    LORREQUEE.  117 

tinacity  with  which  the  villain  assailed  me.  My  most  unexpected 
energy  threw  the  whole  table  into  a  roar,  at  the  conclusion  of  which 
Fin  began  his  narrative  of  the  mail-coach  adventure. 

I  need  not  tell  my  reader,  who  has  followed  me  throughout  in 
these  my  Confession,  that  such  a  story  lost  nothing  of  its  absurdity 
when  intrusted  to  the  doctor's  power  of  narration;  he  dwelt  with  a 
poet's  feeling  upon  the  description  of  his  own  sufferings,  and  my 
sincere  condolence  and  commiseration ;  he  touched  with  the  utmost 
delicacy  upon  the  distant  hints  by  which  he  broke  the  news  to  me ; 
but  when  he  came  to  describe  my  open  and  undisguised  terror,  and 
my  secret  and  precipitate  retreat  to  the  roof  of  the  coach,  there  was 
not  a  man  at  the  table  that  was  not  convulsed  with  laughter — and 
shall  I  acknowledge  it,  even  I  myself  was  unable  to  withstand  the 
effect,  and  joined  in  the  general  chorus  against  myself. 

"  Well,"  said  the  remorseless  wretch,  as  he  finished  his  story,  "  if 
ye  haven't  the  hard  hearts  to  laugh  at  such  a  melancholy  subject ! 
May  be,  however,  you  are  not  so  cruel  after  all  —here's  a  toast  for 
you,  'a  speedy  recovery  to  Cusack  Rooney.' '  This  was  drank 
amid  renewed  peals,  with  all  the  honors ;  and  I  had  abundant  tune 
before  the  uproar  was  over,  to  wish  every  man  of  them  hanged.  It 
was  to  no  purpose  that  I  endeavored  to  turn  the  tables,  by  describing 
Fin's  terror  at  my  supposed  resemblance  to  a  highwayman — his  story 
had  the  precedence,  and  I  met  nothing  during  my  recital  but  sly 
allusions  to  mad  dogs,  muzzles,  and  doctors;  and  contemptible  puns 
were  let  off  on  every  side  at  my  expense. 

"  It's  little  shame  I  take  to  myself  for  the  mistake,  anyhow," 
said  Fin,  "  for,  putting  the  darkness  of  the  night  out  of  the  question, 
I'm  not  so  sure  I  would  not  have  ugly  suspicions  of  you  by  day- 
light." 

"  And  besides,  doctor,"  added  I,  "it  would  not  be  your  first 
blunder  in  the  dark." 

"  True  for  you,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  he,  good-humoredly;  "  and 
now  that  I  have  told  them  your  story,  I  don't  care  if  they  hear  mine, 
though  may  be  some  of  ye  have  heard  it  already — it's  pretty  well 
known  in  the  North  Cork." 

We  all  gave  our  disclaimers  on  this  point,  and  having  ordered  in  a 
fresh  cooper  of  port,  disposed  ourselves  in  our  most  easy  attitudes, 
while  the  doctor  proceeded  as  follows : 

"  It  was  in  the  hard  winter  of  the  year  '99  that  we  were  quartered 
in  Maynooth,  as  many  said  for  our  sins— fora  more  stupid  place, 
the  Lord  be  merciful  to  it,  never  were  men  coademned  to.  The  peo- 
ple at  the  college  were  much  better  off  than  us — they  had  whatever 
was  to  be  got  in  the  country,  and  never  were  disturbed  by  mounting 
guard,  or  night  patrols.  Many  of  the  professors  were  good  fellows, 
that  liked  grog  fully  us  well  as  Greek,  and  understood  short  whist, 
and  five  and  ten  quite  as  iniimately  as  they  knew  the  vulgate,  or  the 
confessions  of  St.  Augustine — they  made  no  ostentatious  display  of 
their  pious  zeal,  but  whenever  they  were  not  fasting  or  praying,  or 
something  of  that  kind,  they  were  always  pleasant  and  agreeable;  and 
to  do  them  justice,  never  refused,  by  any  chance,  an  invitation  to 
dinner— no  matter  at  what  inconvenience.  Well,  even  this  little 
solace  in  our  affliction  we  soon  lost,  by  an  unfortunate  mistake  of 
that  Orange  rogue  of  the  world,  Major  Jones,  that  gave  a  wrong 


118  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

pass  one  night — Mr.  Lorrequer  knows  the  story  (here  he  alluded  to 
an  adventure  detailed  in  an  early  chapter  of  my  Confession),  and 
from  that  day  forward  we  never  saw  the  pleasant  faces  of  the  Abbe 
D'Array,  or  the  Professor  of  the  Humanities,  at  the  mess.  Well,  the 
only  thing  I  could  do,  was  just  to  take  an  opportunity  to  drop  in  at 
the  College  hi  the  evening,  where  we  had  a  quiet  rubber  of  whist, 
and  a  little  social  and  intellectual  conversation,  with  may  be  an  oyster 
and  a  glass  of  punch,  just  to  season  the  thing,  before  we  separated; 
all  done  discreetly  and  quietly— no  shouting  iior  even  singing,  for 
the  '  superior  '  had  a  prejudice  about  profane  songs.  Well,  one  of 
those  nights,  it  was  about  the  first  week  in  February,  I  was  detained 
by  stress  of  weather  from  eleven  o'clock,  when  we  usually  bade  good 
night,  to  past  twelve,  and  then  to  one  o'clock,  waiting  for  a  dry 
moment  to  get  home  to  the  barracks— a  good  mile  and  a  half  off. 
Every  time  old  Father  Mahoney  went  to  look  at  the  weather,  he  came 
back  saying,  '  It's  worse  it's  getting;  such  a  night  of  rain,  glory  be 
to  God,  never  was  seen. '  So  there  was  no  good  in  going  out  to  be 
drenched  to  the  skin,  and  I  sat  quietly  waiting,  taking  between 
times  a  little  punch,  just  not  to  seem  impatient,  nor  distress  their 
rev'rances.  At  last  it  struck  two,  and  I  thought — '  well,  the  decanter 
is  empty  now  and  I  think,  if  I  mean  to  walk,  I've  taken  enough  for 
the  present;'  so  wishing  them  all  manner  of  happiness  and  pleasant 
dreams  I  stumbled  my  way  down  stairs,  and  set  out  on  my  journey. 
I  was  always  in  the  habit  of  taking  a  short  cut  on  my  way  home, 
across  the  '  gurt  na  brocha,'  the  priest's  meadows,  as  they  call  them; 
it  saved  nearly  a  half  a  mile,  although  on  the  present  occasion  it  ex- 
posed one  wof ully  to  the  rain,  for  there  was  nothing  to  shelter  under 
the  entire  way,  not  even  a  tree.  Well,  out  I  set  in  a  half  trot,  for  I 
stayed  so  late  I  was  pressed  for  time ;  besides  I  felt  it  easier  to  run  than 
walk ;  I'm  sure  I  can't  tell  why;  may  be  the  drop  of  drink  I  took  got 
into  my  head.  Well,  I  was  just  joggin'  on  across  the  common,  the 
rain  beating  hard  in  my  face,  and  my  clothes  pasted  to  me  with  the 
wet,  notwithstanding  I  was  singing  to  myself  a  verse  of  an  old  song 
to  lighten  the  road,  when  1  heard  suddenly  a  noise  near  me,  like 
a  man  sneezing.  I  stopped  and  listened— in  fact  it  was  impossible 
to  see  your  hand,  the  night  was  so  dark — but  I  could  hear  nothing; 
the  thought  then  came  over  me,  may  be  it's  something  '  not  good,' 
for  there  were  veiy  ugly  stories  going  about  what  the  priests  used  to 
do  formerly  in  these  meadows;  and  bones  were  often  found  in  differ 
ent  parts  of  them.  Just  as  I  was  thinking  this,  another  voice  came 
nearer  than  the  last;  it  might  be  only  a  sneeze,  after  all;  but  in  real 
earnest  it  was  mighty  like  a  groan.  '  The  Lord  be  about  us, '  I  said 
to  myself,  '  what's  this? — have  ye  the  pass?'  I  cried  out  '  have  ye 
the  pass?  or  what  brings  ye  walking  here  in  nomine  patri?'  for  I  was 
80  confused  whether  it  was  a  '  sperit '  or  not,  I  was  going  to  address 
him  in  Latin — there's  nothing  equal  to  the  dead  languages  to  lay  a 
ghost  everybody  knows.  Faith  the  moment  I  said  these  words  he 
gave  another  groan,  deeper  and  more  melancholy  like  than  before. 
'  If  it's  uneasy  ye  are,'  says  I,  '  for  any  neglect  of  your  f  riends, '  f  or  I 
thought  he  might  be  in  purgatory  longer  than  he  thought  convenient, 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  119 

than  you  should  fret  yourself  this  way. '  The  words  were  not  well 
out  of  my  mouth  when  he  came  so  near  me  that  the  sigh  he  gave 
went  through  both  my  ears.  '  The  Lord  be  merciful  to  me,'  said 
I,  trembling.  '  Amen,'  says  he,  '  whether  you 're  joking  or  not.'  The 
moment  he  said  that  my  mind  was  relieved,  for  I  knew  it  was  not  a 
spirit,  and  1  began  to  laugh  heartily  at  my  mistake.  '  And  who  are 
ye  at  all,'  said  I,  '  that's  roving  about  at  this  hour  of  the  night?  Ye 
can't  be  Father  Luke,  for  I  left  himself  asleep  on  the  carpet  before  I 
quitted  the  college,  and  faith,  my  friend,  if  you  hadn't  the  taste  for 
devarsion,  ye  would  not  be  out  now. '  He  coughed  then  so  hard  that 
I  could  not  make  out  well  what  he  said,  but  just  perceived  that  he 
had  lost  his  way  on  to  the  common,  and  was  a  little  disguised  in 
liquor.  '  It's  a  good  man's  case,'  said  I,  '  to  take  a  little  too  much, 
though  it's  what  I  don't  do  myself;  so,  take  hold  of  my  hand  and 
I'll  see  you  safe. '  I  stretched  out  my  hand,  and  got  him,  not  by  the 
arm,  as  I  hoped,  but  by  the  hair  of  the  head,  for  he  was]  all  dripping 
with  wet,  and  had  lost  his  hat.  '  Well,  you'll  not  be  better  of  this 
night's  excursion,'  thought  I,  '  if  ye  are  liable  to  the  rheumatism; 
and  now,  where  about  do  you  live,  my  friend?  for  I'll  see  you  safe 
before  I  leave  you. '  What  he  said  then  I  never  could  make  out,  for 
the  wind  and  rain  were  beating  so  hard  against  my  face  that  I  could 
not  hear  a  vrord;  however,  I  was  able  just  to  perceive  that  he  was 
veiy  much  disguised  in  drink,  and  spoke  rather  thick.  '  Well,  never 
mind,  said  I,  '  it's  not  a  time  of  day  for  much  conversation;  so  come 
along;  and  I'll  see  you  safe  to  the  guard-house,  if  you  can't  remem- 
ber your  own  place  of  abode  in  the  meanwhile. '  It  was  just  at  the 
moment  I  said  this  that  1  first  discovered  he  was  not  a  gentleman. 
Well,  now  you'd  never  guess  how  I  did  it;  and,  faith  I  always 
thought  it  a  very  cute  thing  of  me,  and  both  of  us  in  the  dark." 

"  Well,  I  realty  confess  it  must  have  been  a  very  difficult  thing, 
under  the  circumstances;  pray  how  did  you  contrive?"  said  the 
major. 

"  Just  guess  how." 

"  By  the  tone  of  his  voice,  perhaps,  and  his  accent,"  said  Curzon. 

"  Devil  a  bit,  for  he  spoke  remarkably  well,  considering  how  far 
gone  he  was  in  liquor." 

"  Well,  probably  by  the  touch  of  his  hand;  no  bad  test." 

' '  No ;  you're  wrong  again,  for  it  was  by  the  hair  I  had  a  hold  of 
him  for  fear  of  falling,  for  he  was  always  stooping  down.  Well, 
you'd  never  guess  it;  it  was  just  by  the  touch  of  his  foot." 

"  His  foot!    Why,  how  did  that  give  you  any  information?" 

"  There  it  is,  now;  that's  just  what  only  an  Irishman  would  ever 
have  made  anything. out  of;  for,  while  he  was  stumbling  about,  he 
happened  to  tread  upon  my  toes,  and  never  since  I  was  born  did  I 
feel  anything  like  the  weight  of  him.  '  Well,'  said  I,  '  the  loss  of 
your  hat  may  give  you  a  cold,  my  friend;  but  upon  my  conscience 
you  are  in  no  danger  of  wet  feet  with  such  a  pair  of  strong  brogues 
as  you  have  on  you.'  Well,  he  laughed  at  that  till  I  thought  he'd 
split  his  sides;  and,  in  good  truth,  I  could  not  help  joining  in 
the  fun,  although  my  foot  was  smarting  like  mad;  and  so  we  jogged 
along  through  the  rain,  enjoying  UK-  joke  just  as  if  we  were  sitting 
by  a  good  fire,  with  a  jorum  of  punch  between  us.  I  am  sure  I  can't 
tell  you  how  often  we  fell  that  night,  but  my  clothes  the  next  mom- 


120  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

ing  were  absolutely  covered  with  mud,  and  my  hat  crushed  in  two; 
for  he  was  so  confoundedly  drunk  it  was  impossible  to  keep  him  up, 
and  he  always  kept  boring  along  with  his  head  down,  so  that  my 
heart  was  almost  broke  in  keeping  him  upon  his  legs.  I'm  sure  I 
never  had  a  more  fatiguing  march  in  the  whole  Peninsula  than  that 
blessed  mile  and  a  half;  but  every  misfortune  has  an  end  at  last,  and 
it  was  four  o'clock,  striking  by  the  college  clock,  as  we  reached  the 
barracks.  After  knocking  a  couple  of  times,  and  giving  the  counter- 
sign, the  sentry  opened  the  small  wicket,  and  my  heart  actually 
leaped  with  joy  that  I  had  done  with  my  friend;  so  I  just  called  out 
the  sergeant  of  the  guard,  and  said,  '  Will  you  put  that  poor  fellow 
on  the  guard-bed  till  morning?  for  I  found  him  on  the  common,  and 
he  could  neither  find  his  way  home  nor  tell  me  where  he  lived.' 
'  And  where  is  he?'  said  the  sergeant.  '  He's  outside  the  gate  there,' 
said  I,  '  wet  to  the  skin,  and  shaking  as  if  he  had  the  ague. '  '  And 
is  this  him?'  said  the  sergeant,  as  he  went  outside.  '  It  is,'  said  I, 
'  may  be  you  know  him?'  '  May  be  I've  a  guess,'  said  he,  bursting 
into  a  fit  of  laughing  that  I  thought  he'd  choke  with.  '  Well,  ser- 
geant,' said  I,  'I  always  took  you  for  a  humane  man;  but  if  that's 
the  wav  you  treat  a  fellow- creature  in  distress.'  'A  fellow-creat- 
ure,' said  he,  laughing  louder  than  before.  '  Ay,  a  fellow-creature,' 
said  I — for  the  sergeant  was  an  Orangeman — '  and  if  he  differs  from 
you  in  matters  of  religion,  sure  he's  your  fellow-creature  still.' 
'  Troth,  doctor,  I  think  there's  another  trifling  difference  betune  us,' 
said  he.  '  Damn  your  politics,'  said  I, '  never  let  them  interfere  with 
true  humanity.'  Wasn't  I  right,  major?  '  Take  good  care  of  him 
and  here's  half  a  crown  for  ye. '  So  saying  these  words,  I  steered 
along  by  the  barrack  wall,  and,  after  a  little  groping  about,  got  up 
stairs  to  my  quarters,  when,  thanks  to  a  naturally  good  constitution, 
and  regular  habits  of  life,  I  soon  fell  fast  asleep." 

When  the  doctor  had  said  thus  much,  he  pushed  his  chair  slightly 
from  the  table,  and,  taking  off  his  wine,  looked  about  him  with  the 
composure  of  a  man  who  has  brought  his  tale  to  a  termination. 

"  Well,  but  doctor,"  said  the  major,  "you  are  surely  not  done. 
You  have  not  yet  told  us  who  your  interest  ing  friend  turned  out  to 
be." 

"  That's  the  very  thing,  then,  I'm  not  able  to  do." 

"  But,  of  course,"  said  another,  "  your  story  does  not  end  there." 

"And  where  the  devil  would  you  have  it  end?"  repliedhe.  "Didn't 
I  bring  my  hero  home,  and  go  asleep  afterward  myself,  and  then, 
with  virtue  rewarded,  how  could  I  finish  it  better?"  ' 

"Oh,  of  course;  but  still  you  have  not  accounted  for  a  principal 
character  in  the  narrative,"  said  I. 

"  Exactly  so,"  said  Curzon.  "  We  were  all  expecting  some  splen- 
did catastrophe  in  the  morning;  that  your  companion  turned  out  to 
be  the  Duke  of  Leinster,  at  least — or  perhaps  a  rebel  general,  with  an 
immense  price  upon  his  head." 

"  Neither  the  one  nor  the  other,"  said  Fin,  dryly. 

"  And  do  you  mean  to  say  there  never  was  any  clew  to  the  discov- 
ery of  him?" 

"  The  entire  affair  is  wrapped  in  mystery  to  this  hour,"  said  he. 
"  There  was  a  joke  about  it,  to  be  sure,  among  the  officers;  but  the 
North  Cork  never  wanted  something  to  laugh  at." 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  121 

"  And  what  was  the  joke?"  said  several  voices  together. 

"  Just  a  complaint  from  old  Mickey  Oulahan,  the  postmaster,  to 
the  colonel  in  the  morning,  that  some  of  the  officers  took  away  his 
blind  mare  off  the  common,  and  that  the  letters  were  late  in  conse- 
quence." 

"  And  so,  doctor,"  called  out  seven  or  eight,  "  your  friend  turned 
out  to  be •" 

"  Upon  my  conscience  they  said  so,  and  that  rascal,  the  sergeant, 
would  take  his  oath  of  it;  but  my  own  impression  I'll  never  disclose 
to  the  hour  of  my  death." 


CHAPTER  XVI.  ' 

THEATBICALS. 

OTJK  seance  at  the  mess  that  night  was  a  late  one,  for  after  we  had 
discussed  some  coopers  of  claret,  there  was  a  very  general  public 
feeling  in  favor  of  a  broiled  bone  and  some  deviled  kidneys,  fol- 
lowed by  a  very  ample  bowl  of  bishop,  over  which  simple  condi- 
ments we  talked  "  green-room  "  till  near  the  break  of  day. 

From  having  been  so  long  away  from  the  corps  I  had  much  to 
learn  of  their  doings  and  intentions  to  do,  and  heard  with  much 
pleasure  that  they  possessed  an  exceedingly  handsome  theater,  well 
stocked  with  scenery,  dresses,  and  decorations;  that  they  were  at 
the  pinnacle  of  public  estimation,  from  what  they  had  already  ac- 
complished, and  calculated  on  the  result  of  my  appearance  to  crown 
them  with  honor.  I  had  indeed  very  little  choice  left  me  in  the 
matter;  for  not  only  had  they  booked  me  for  a  particular  part,  but 
bills  were  already  in  circulation,  and  sundry  little  three-cornered 
notes  enveloping  them  were  sent  to  the  elite  of  the  surrounding 
country,  setting  forth  that  "  on  Friday  evening  the  committee  of  the 
garrison  theatricals,  intending  to  perform  a  dress  rehearsal  of  the 

'Family  Party,'  request  the  pleasure  of  Mr. and  Mrs. 's 

company  on  the  occasion.  Mr.  Lorrequerwill  undertake  the  part  of 
Captain  Beaugarde.  Supper  at  twelve.  An  answer  will  oblige. " 

The  sight  of  one  of  these  pleasant  little  epistles — of  which  the 
foregoing  is  a  true  copy — was  presented  to  me  as  a  great  favor  that 
evening,  it  having  been  agreed  upon  that  I  was  to  know  nothing  of 
their  high  and  mighty  resolves  till  the  following  morning.  It  was  to 
little  purpose  that  I  assured  them  all,  collectively  and  individually, 
that  of  Captain  Beaugarde  I  absolutely  knew  nothing — had  never 
ri'.-id  the  piece — nor  even  seen  it  performed.  I  felt,  too,  that  my  last 
appearance  in  character  in  a  "  Family  Party  "  was  anything  but  suc- 
cessful ;  and  I  trembled  lest,  in  the  discussion  of  the  subject,  some 
confounded  allusion  to  my  adventure  at  Cheltenham  might  come  out. 
Happily  they  seemed  all  ignorant  of  this;  and  fearing  to  bring  con- 
versation in  any  way  to  the  matter  of  my  late  travels,  I  fell  in  with 
their  humor,  and  agreed  if  it  were  possible,  in  the  limited  time  al- 
lowed me  to  manage  it — I  had  but  four  days — I  should  undertake 
the  character.  My  concurrence  failed  to  give  the  full  satisfaction  I 
had  expected,  and  they  so  habitually  did  what  they  pleased  with  me, 
that,  like  all  men  so  disposed,  I  never  got  the  credit  for  concession 
which  a  man  more  niggardly  of  his  service*  may  always  command. 


122  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

"  To  be  sure  you  will  do  it,  Harry,"  said  the  major;  "  why  not? 
I  could  learn  the  thing  myself  in  a  couple  of  hours,  as  for  that." 

Now,  be  it  known  that  the  aforesaid  major  was  so  incorrigibly 
slow  of  study,  and  dull  of  comprehension,  that  he  had  been  succes- 
sively degraded  at  our  theatrical  board  from  the  delivering  of  a  stage 
message  to  the  office  of  a  check-taker. 

"  He's  so  devilish  good  in  the  love-scene,"  said  the  junior  ensign, 
with  the  white  eye-brows.  "  I  say,  Curzon,  you'll  be  confoundedly 
jealous  though,  for  he  is  to  play  with  Fanny." 

"  I  rather  think  not,"  said  Curzon,  who  was  a  little  tipsy. 

"Oh,  yes,"  said  Frazer.  "  Hepton  is  right.  Lorrequer  has 
Fanny  for  his  '  Frou,'  and  upon  my  soul,  I  should  feel  tempted  to 
take  the  part  myself  upon  the  same  terms ;  though  I  verily  believe 
I  should  forget  I  was  acting,  and  make  fierce  love  to  her  on  the 
stage." 

And  who  may  la  charmante  Fanny  be?"  said  I,  with  something 
of  the  air  of  the  "  Dey  of  Algiers  "  in  my  tone. 

"Let  Curzon  tell  him,"  said  several  voices  together;  "  he  is  the 
only  man  to  do  justice  to  such  perfection." 

"  Quiz  away,  my  merry  men,"  said  Curzon;  "all  I  know  is,  that 
you  are  a  confoundedly  envious  set  of  fellows ;  and  if  so  lovely  a 
girl  had  thrown  her  eyes  on  one  amongst  you " 

"Hip!  hip!  hurrah!"  said  old  Fitzgerald;  "Curzon  is  a  gone 
man.  He'll  be  off  to  the  palace  for  a  license  some  fine  morning,  or 
I  know  nothing  of  such  matters." 

"  Well,  Bat,v>  said  I,  "  if  matters  are  really  as  you  all  say,  why 
does  not  Curzon  take  the  part  you  destine  for  me?" 

"We  dare  not  trust  him,"  said  the  major.  "Lord  bless  you, 
when  the  call-boy  would  sing  out  for  Captain  Beaugarde  in  the  sec- 
ond act,  we'd  find  that  he  had  levanted  with  our  best  slashed  trou- 
sers, and  a  bird  of  paradise  feather  in  his  cap. : ' 

"  Well,"  thought  I,  "  this  is  better  at  least  than  I  anticipated,  for 
if  nothing  else  offers,  I  shall  have  rare  fun  teasing  my  friend 
Charley  " — for  it  was  evident  that  he  had  been  caught  by  the  lady  in 
question. 

"  And  so  you'll  stay  with  us;  give  me  your  hand — you  are  a  real 
trump."  These  words,  which  proceeded  from  a  voice  at  the  lower 
end  of  the  table,  were  addressed  to  my  friend  Finucane. 

"I'll  stay  with  ye,  upon  my  conscience,"  said  Fin;  "  ye  have  a 
most  seductive  way  about  ye;  and  a  very  superior  taste  in  milk 
punch." 

"But,  doctor,"  said  I,  "you  must  not  be  a  drone  in  the  hive; 
what  will  ye  do  for  us?  You  should  be  a  capital  Sir  Lucius  O 'Trig- 
ger,-if  we  could  get  up  the  Rivals." 

' '  My  forte  is  the  drum — the  big  drum ;  put  me  among  what  the 
Greeks  call  the  '  Mousikoi,'  and  I'll  astonish  ye." 

It  was  at  once  agreed  that  Fin  should  foHow  the  bent  of  his 
genius;  and  after  some  other  arrangements  for  the  rest  of  the  party 
we  separated  for  the  night,  having  previously  toasted  the  "  Fanny," 
to  which  Curzon  attempted  to  reply,  but  sank,  overpowered  by 
punch  and  feelings,  and  looked  unutterable  things,  without  the 
power  to  frame  a  sentence. 
During  the  time  which  intervened  between  the  dinner  and  the 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  123 

night  appointed  for  our  rehearsal,  I  had  more  business  upon  my 
hands  than  a  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer  the  week  of  the  budget 
being  produced.  The  whole  management  of  every  department  fell, 
as  usual,  to  my  share,  and  all  those  who,  previously  to  my  arrival, 
had  contributed  their  quota  of  labor,  did  nothing  whatever  now  bud 
to  lounge  about  the  stage,  or  sit  half  the  day  in  the  orchestra,  listen- 
ing to  some  confounded  story  of  Finucane's,  who  contrived  to  have 
an  everlasting  mob  of  actors,  scene-painters,  fiddlers  and  call-boys 
always  about  him,  who,  from  their  uproarious  mirth,  and  repeated 
shouts  of  merriment,  nearly  drove  me  distracted,  as  I  stood  almost 
alone  and  unassisted  in  the  whole  management.  Of  la  belle  Fanny, 
all  I  learned  was,  that  she  was  a  professional  actress  of  very  consid- 
erable talent,  and  extremely  pretty;  that  Curzon  had  fallen  desper- 
ately in  love  with  her  the  only  night  she  had  appeared  on  the  boards 
there ;  and  that,  to  avoid  his  absurd  persecution  of  her,  she  had  de- 
termined not  to  come  into  town  until  the  morning  of  the  rehearsal, 
she  being  at  that  time  on  a  visit  to  the  house  of  a  country  gentleman 
in  the  neighborhood.  Here  was  a  new  difficulty  I  had  to  contend 
with— to  go  through  my  part  alone  was  out  of  the  question  to  mak- 
ing it  effective;  and  I  felt  so  worried  and  harassed  that  I  often  fairly 
resolved  on  taking  the  wings  of  the  mail,  and  flying  away  to  the 
uttermost  parts  of  the  south  of  Ireland,  till  all  was  still  and  tranquil 
again.  By  degrees,  however,  I  got  matters  into  better  train,  and  by 
getting  over  our  rehearsal  early  before  Fin  appeared,  as  he  usually 
slept  somewhat  later  after  his  night  at  mess,  I  managed  to  have 
things  in  something  like  order;  he  and  his  confounded  drum,  which, 
whenever  he  was  not  story-telling,  he  was  sure  to  be  practicing  on, 
being  in  fact,  the  greatest  difficulties  opposed  to  my  managerial  func- 
tions. One  property  he  possessed,  so  totally  at  variance  with  all 
habits  of  order,  that  it  completely  baffled  me.  So  numerous  were 
his  narratives,  that  no  occasion  could  possibly  arise,  no  chance  ex- 
pression be  let  fall  on  the  stage,  but  Fin  had  something  he  deemed 
apropos,  and  which,  sans  faqon,  he  at  once  related  for  the  benefit  of 
all  whom  it  might  concern;  that  was  usually  the  entire  corps 
dramatique,  who  eagerly  turned  from  stage  directions  and  group- 
ings, to  laugh  at  his  ridiculous  jests.  I  shall  give  an  instance  of  this 
habit  of  interruption,  and  let  the  unhappy  wight  who  has  filled  suck 
an  office  as  mine  pity  my  woes. 

I  was  standing  one  morning  on  the  stage  drilling  my  "  corps,"  as 
usual.  One  most  refractory  spirit,  to  whom  but  a  few  words  Avere 
intrusted,  and  who  bungled  even  those,  I  was  endeavoring  to  train 
into  something  like  his  part. 

"  Come  now,  Elsmore,  try  it  again — just  so.  Yes,  come  forward 
in  this  manner— take  her  hand  tenderly — press  it  to  your  lips ;  re- 
treat toward  the  flat,  and  then  bowing  deferentially — thus  say, 
'  Good -night,  good-night' — that's  very  simple,  eh?  Well,  now, 
that's  all  you  have  to  do,  and  that  brings  you  over  here — so  you 
make  your  exit  at  once." 

"  Exactly  so,  Mr.  Elsmore,  always  contrive  to  be  near  the  door 
under  such  circumstances.  That  was  the  way  with  my  poor  friend, 
Curran.  Poor  Phil  pot,  when  he  dined  with  the  Guild  of  Merchant 
Tailors,  they  gave  him  a  gold  box  with  their  arms  upon  it — a  goose 
proper,  with  needles  saltier  wise,  or  something  of  that  kind;  and 


124  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

they  made  him  free  of  their  '  ancient  and  loyal  corporation,' and 
gave  him  a  very  grand  dinner.  Well,  Curran  was  mighty  pleasant 
and  agreeable  and  kept  them  laughing  all  night,  till  the  moment  he 
arose  to  go  away,  and  then  he  told  them  that  he  never  spent  so  happy 
an  evening,  and  all  that.  '  But,  gentlemen,'  said  he,  business  has 
its  calls,  I  must  tear  myself  away;  so  wishing  you  now' — there  were 
just  eighteen  of  them— '  wishing  you  'now  every  happiness  and 
prosperity,  permit  me  to  take  my  leave ' — and  here  he  stole  near  the 
door — '  to  take  my  leave— and  bid  you  both  good- night.'  >:  With  a 
running  fire  of  such  stories,  it  may  be  supposed  how  difficult  was 
my  task  in  getting  anything  done  upon  the  stage. 

Well,  at  last  the  long-expected  Friday  arrived,  and  I  arose  in  the 
morning  with  all  that  peculiar  tourbillion  of  spirits  thai  a  man  feels 
when  he  is  half  pleased  and  whole  frightened  with  the  labor  before 
him.  I  had  scarcely  accomplished  dressing  when  a  servant  tapped 
at  my  door,  and  begged  to  know  if  I  could  spare  a  few  moments  to 
speak  to  Miss  Ersler,  who  was  hi  the  drawing-room.  I  replied,  of 
course,  in  the  affirmative,  and  rightly  conjecturing  that  my  fair 
friend  must  be  the  lovely  Fanny  already  alluded  to,  followed  the 
servant  down  stairs. 

"Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  the  servant,  and  closing  the  door  behind 
me,  left  me  in  sole  possession  of  the  lady. 

"  Will  you  do  me  the  favor  to  sit  here,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  one 
of  the  sweetest  voices  in  the  world,  as  she  made  room  for  me  on  the 
sofa  beside  her.  "  I  am  particularly  short-sighted;  so  pray  sit  near 
me,  as  I  really  cannot  talk  to  any  one  I  don't  see." 

I  blundered  out  some  platitude  of  a  compliment  to  her  eyes — the 
fullest  and  most  lovely  blue  that  ever  man  gazed  into — at  which  she 
smiled  as  if  pleased,  and  continued,  ' '  Now,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  have 
really  been  longing  for  your  coming;  for  your  friends  of  the  4-th  are 
doubtless  very  dashing,  spirited  young  gentlemen,  perfectly  versed  in 
war's  alarms;  but  pardon  me  if  I  say  that  a  more  wretched  company 
of  strolling  wretches  never  graced  a  barn.  Now,  come,  don't  be 
angry;  but  let  me  proceed.  Like  all  amateur  people,  they  have  the 
happy  knack  in  distributing  the  characters,  to  put  every  man  in  his 
most  unsuitable  position,  and  then  that  poor,  dear  thing,  Curzon — I 
hope  he's  not  a  friend  of  yours — by  some  dire  fatality,  always  plays 
the  lover's  parts,  ha!  ha!  ha!  True,  I  assure  you,  so  that  if  you 
had  not  been  announced  as  coming  this  week,  I  should  have  left 
them  and  gone  on  to  Bath." 

Here  she  rose  and  adjusted  her  brown  ringlets  at  the  glass,  giving 
me  ample  time  to  admire  one  of  the  most  perfect  figures  I  ever  be- 
held. She  was  most  becomingly  dressed,  and  betrayed  a  foot  and 
ankle  whicn,  for  symmetry  and  "  chassures,"  might  have  challenged 
the  Rue  Ilivoli  itself  to  match  it. 

My  first  thought  was  poor  Curzon ;  my  second,  happy  and  thrice 
fortunate  Harry  Lorrequer.  There  was  no  time,  however,  for  in- 
dulgence hi  such  veiy  pardonable  gratulation ;  so  I  at  once  pro- 
ceeded "  pourfaire  I'aimable,"  to  profess  my  utter  inability  to  do 
justice  to  her  undoubted  talents,  but  slj-ly  added,  that  in  the  love- 
making  part  of  the  matter  she  should  never  be  able  to  discover  that 
I  was  not  in  earnest.  We  then  chatted  gayly  for  upward  of  an  hour, 
until  the  arrival  of  her  friend's  carriage  was  announced,  when  ten- 


HABRT    LORREQUER.  125 

tiering  me  most  graciously  her  hand,  she  smiled  benignly,  and  say- 
ing, "  au  rewir  done,"  drove  off. 

As  I  stood  upon  the  steps  of  the  hotel,  viewing  her  "  out  of  the 
visible  horizon,"  I  was  joined  by  Curzon,  who  evidently,  from  his 
self -satisfied  air,  and  jaunty  gait,  little  knew  how  he  stood  in  the 
fair  Fanny's  estimation. 

"  Very  pretty,  very  pretty  indeed,  deeper  and  deeper  still,"  cried 
he,  alluding  to  my  most  courteous  salutation  as  the  carriage  rounded 
the  comer,  and  its  lovely  occupant  kissed  her  hand  once  more.  "  I 
say,  Harry,  my  friend,  you  don't  think  that  was  meant  for  you,  I 
should  hope?" 

"  What!  the  kiss  of  the  hand?    Yes,  faith,  but  I  do." 
"  Well,  certainly,  that  is  good!  why,  man,  she  just  saw  me  com- 
ing up  that  instant.     She  and  I — we  understand  each  other — never 
mind,  don't  be  cross — no  fault  of  yours,  you  know." 

"  Ah,  so  she  is  taken  with  you,"  said  I.  "  Eh,  Charley?" 
"  Why,  I  believe  that  I  may  confess  to  you  the  real  state  of  mat- 
ters. She  was  devilishly  struck  with  me  the  first  time  we  rehearsed 
together.  We  soon  got  up  a  little  flirtation ;  but  the  other  night  when 
I  played  Mirabel  to  her,  it  finished  the  affair.  She  was  quite  nerv- 
ous, and  could  scarcely  go  through  with  her  part.  I  saw  it,  and 
upon  my  soul  I  am  sorry  for  it;  she's  a  prodigiously  fine  girl — such 
lips  and  such  teeth!  Egad,  I  was  delighted  when  you  came;  for, 

{ou  see,  I  was  in  a  manner,  obliged  to  take  one  line  of  character,  and 
saw  pretty  plainly  where  it  must  end ;  and  you  know  with  you  it's 
quite  different,  she'll  laugh  and  chat,  and  all  that  sort  of  thing,  but 
she'll  not  be  carried  away  by  her  feelings;  you  understand  me?" 

"  Oh,  perfectly:  it's  quite  different  as  you  observed." 

If  I  had  not  been  supported  internally  during  this  short  dialogue 
by  the  recently  expressed  opinion  of  the  dear  Fanny  herself  upon. 
Toy  friend  Curzon's  merits,  I  think  I  should  have  been  tempted  to 
take  the  liberty  of  wringing  his  neck  off.  However,  the  affair  was 
much  better  as  it  stood,  as  I  had  only  to  wait  a  little  with  proper 
patience,  and  I  had  no  fears  but  that  my  friend  Charley  would  be- 
come the  hero  of  a  veiy  pretty  episode  for  the  mess. 

"  So  I  suppose  you  must  feel'considerably  bored  by  this  kind  of 
thing,"  I  said,  endeavoring  to  draw  him  out. 

"Why,  I  do,"  replied  he,  "and  I  do  not.  The  girl  is  very 
pretty.  The  place  is  dull  in  the  morning;  and  altogether  it  helps  to 
fill  up  time." 

"  Well,"  said  I,  "  you  are  always  fortunate,  Curzon.  You  have 
ever  your  share  of  what  floating  luck  the  world  affords." 

"  1 1  is  not  exactly  all  luck,  my  dear  friend;  for,  as  I  shall  explain 
to  you " 

"  Not  now,"  replied  I,  "  for  Ihave  notyet  breakfasted."  So  say- 
ing, I  turned  into  the  coffee-room,  leaving  the  worthy  adjutant  to 
revel  in  his  fancied  conquest,  and  pity  such  unfortunates  as  myself. 

After  an  early  dinner  at  the  club-house,  I  hastened  down  to  the 
theater,  where  numerous  preparations  for  the  night  were  going  for- 
ward. The  green-room  was  devoted  to  the  office  of  a  supper-room, 
to  which  the  audience  had  been  invited.  The  dressing-rooms  were 
many  of  them  filled  with  the  viands  destined  for  the  entertainment. 
Where,  among  the  wooden  fowls  and  "  impracticable "  flagons, 


126  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

were  to  be  seen  very  imposing  pasties  and  flasks  of  champagne,  Ut- 
tered together  in  the  most  admirable  disorder.  The  confusion  nat- 
urally incidental  to  all  private  theatricals,  was  tenfold  increased  by 
the  circumstances  of  our  projected  supper.  Cooks  and  scene-shift- 
ers, fiddlers  and  waiters,  were  most  inextricably  mingled;  and,  as  in 
all  similar  cases,  the  least  important  functionaries  took  the  greatest 
airs  upon  them,  and  appropriated  without  hesitation  whatever  came 
to  their  hands — thus  the  cook  would  not  have  scrupled  to  light  a  fire 
with  the  violoncello  of  the  orchestra;  and  I  actually  caught  one  of 
the  "gens  de  cuisine  "  making  a  "  souffle  "  in  a  brass  helmet  I  had 
once  worn  when  astonishing  the  world  as  Coriolanus. 

Six  o'clock  struck.  In  another  short  hour  and  we  begin,  thought 
I,  with  a  sinking  heart,  as  I  looked  upon  the  littered  stage  crowded 
with  hosts  of  fellows  that  had  nothing  to  do  there.  Figaro  himself 
never  wished  for  ubiquity  more  than  1  did,  as  I  hastened  from  place 
to  place,  entreating,  cursing,  begging,  scolding,  execrating,  and  im- 
ploring by  turns.  To  mend  the  matter,  the  devils  in  the  orchestra 
had  begun  to  tune  their  instruments,  and  I  had  to  bawl  like  a  boat- 
swain of  a  man-of-war  to  be  heard  by  the  person  beside  me. 

As  seven  o'clock  struck  I  peeped  through  the  small  aperture  in  the 
curtain,  and  saw,  to  my  satisfaction,  mingled,  I  confess,  with  fear, 
that  the  house  was  nearly  filled — the  lower  tier  of  boxes  entirely  so. 
There  were  a  great  many  ladies  handsomely  dressed,  chatting  gayly 
with  their  chaperons,  and  I  recognized  some  of  my  acquaintances  on 
every  side;  in  fact,  there  was  scarcely  a  family  of  rank  in  the  county 
that  had  not  at  least  some  members  of  it  present.  As  the  orchestra 
struck  up  the  overture  to  Don  Giovanni,  I  retired  from  my  place  to 
inspect  the  arrangements  beliind. 

Before  the  performance  of  the  "  Family  Party  "  we  were  to  have 
a  little  one- act  piece  called  "  A  day  in  Madrid,"  written  by  myself — 
the  principal  characters  being  expressly  composed  for  "  Miss  Ersler 
and  Mr.  Lorrequer." 

The  story  of  this  trifle  it  is  not  necessary  to  allude  to;  indeed,  if  it 
were,  I  should  scarcely  have  patience  to  do  so,  so  connected  is  my 
recollection  of  it  with  the  distressing  incident  which  followed. 

In  the  first  scene  of  the  piece,  the  curtain  rising  displays  la  belle 
Fanny  sitting  at  her  embroidery  in  the  midst  of  a  beautiful  garden, 
surrounded  with  statues,  fountains,  &c. ;  at  the  back  is  seen  a  pavilion 
in  the  ancient  Moorish  style  of  architecture,  over  which  hang  the 
branches  of  some  large  and  shady  trees;  she  comes  forward,  express- 
ing her  impatience  at  the  delay  of  her  lover,  whose  absence  she  tort- 
ures herself  to  account  for  by  a  hundred  different  suppositions,  and 
after  a  very  sufficient  expose  of  her  feelings,  and  some  little  explana- 
tory details  of  her  private  history,  conveying  a  very  clear  intimation 
of  her  own  amiability,  and  her  guardian's  cruelty,  she  proceeds,  after 
the  fashion  of  other  young  ladies  similarly  situated,  to  give  utterance 
to  her  feelings  by  a  song;  after,  therefore,  a  suitable  prelude  from  the 
orchestra,  for  which,  considering  the  impassioned  state  of  her  mind, 
she  waits  patiently,  she  comes  forward  and  begins  a  melody: 

"  0,  why  is  he  far  from  the  heart  that  adores  him?" 

In  which,  for  two  verses,  she  proceeds  with  sundry  solfeggios,  to 
account  for  the  circumstances,  and  show  her  own  disbelief  of  the  ex- 


HARRY    LORREQITER.  12? 

planation  in  a  very  satisfactory  manner.  Meanwhile,  for  I  must  not 
expose  my  reader  to  an  anxiety  on  my  account,  similar  to  what  the 
dear  Fanny  here  labored  under,  I  was  making  the  necessary  prepa- 
rations for  flying  to  her  presence,  and  clasping  her  to  my  heart — that  is 
to  say,  I  had  already  gummed  on  a  pair  of  mustaches,  had  corked  and 
arched  a  pair  of  ferocious  eyebrows,  which,  with  my  rouged  cheeks, 
gave  me  a  look  half  Whiskerando,  half  Grimaldi ;  these  operations  were 
performed,  from  the  stress  of  circumstances,  sufficiently  near  the  ob- 
ject of  my  ait'ections,  to  afford  me  the  pleasing  satisfaction  of  hearing, 
from  her  own  sweet  lips,  her  solicitude  about  me.  In  a  word,  all 
the  dressing-rooms  but  two  were  filled  with  hampers  of  provisions, 
glass,  china,  and  crockery,  and  from  absolute  necessity,  I  had  no 
other  spot  where  I  could  attire  myself  unseen,  except  in  the  iden- 
tical pavilion  already  alluded  to.  Here,  however,  I  was  quite  secure, 
and  had  abundant  time  also,  for  I  was  not  to  appear  till  scene  the 
second,  when  I  was  to  come  forward  in  full  Spanish  costume, 
"  every  inch  a  Hidalgo."  Meantime,  Fanny  had  been  singing— 

"  O,  why  is  he  far,"  &c.,  &c. 

At  the  conclusion  of  the  last  verse,  just  as  she  repeats  the  words 
"  why,  why,  why,"  in  a  very  distracted  and  melting  cadence,  a  voice 
behind  her  startles  her.  She  turns  and  beholds  her  guardian — so  at 
least  runs  the  course  of  events  in  the  real  drama — that  it  should  fol- 
low thus  now,  however,  "  Diis  aliter  visum," — for  just  as  she  came 
to  the  very  moving  apostrophe  alluded  to,  and  called  out,  "  why 
comes  he  not?"  a  gruff  voice  from  behind  answered  in  a  strong  Cork 
brogue — "  ah!  would  you  have  him  come  in  a  state  of  nature?"  At 
the  "instant  a  loud  whistle  rang  through  the  house,  and  the  pavilion 
scene  slowly  drew  up,  discovering  me,  Harry  Lorrequer,  seated  on  a 
small  stool  before  a  cracked  looking  glass,  my  only  habiliment,  as  I 
am  an  honest  man,  being  a  pair  of  long  white  silk  stockings,  and  a 
very  richly  embroidered  shirt  wjth  point  lace  collar.  The  shouts  of 
laughter  are  yet  in  my  ears;  the  loud  roar  of  inextinguishable  mirth 
which,  after  the  first  brief  pause  of  astonishment  gave  way,  shook 
the  entire  building.  My  recollection  may  well  have  been  confused 
at  such  a  moment  of  unutterable  shame  and  misery ;  yet,  I  clearly 
remember  seeing  Fanny,  the  sweet  Fanny  herself  fall  into  an  arm 
chair  nearly  suffocated  with  convulsions  of  laughter.  I  cannot  go  on; 
what  I  did  I  know  not.  I  suppose  my  exit  was  additionally  ludi- 
crous, for  a  new  eclat  de  rite  followed  me  out.  I  rushed  out  of  the 
theater,  and  wrapping  only  my  cloak  round  me,  ran  without  stopping 
to  the  barracks.  But  I  must  cease;  these  are  woes  too  sacred  for 
even  confessions  like  mine,  so  let  me  close  the  curtain  of  my  room 
and  my  chapter  together,  and  say  adieu  for  a  season. 


CHAPTER  XVIL    ' 

THE  WAGER. 

IT  might  have  been  about  six  weeks  after  the  events  detailed  in 
jiiy  last  chapter  had  occurred,  that  Curzon  broke  suddenly  into 
:ny  room  one  morning  before  I  had  arisen,  and  throwing  a  precau- 
tionary glance  around,  as  if  to  assure  himself  that  we  were  alone, 


128  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

seized  my  hand  with  a  most  unusual  earnestness,  and  steadfastly 
looking  at  me,  said: 

"  Harry  Lorrequer,  will  you  stand  by  me?" 

So  sudden  and  unexpected  was  his  appearance  at  the  moment,  that 
I  really  felt  but  half  awake,  and  kept  puzzling  myself  for  an  ex- 
planation to  the  scene,  rather  than  thinking  of  a  reply  to  his  ques- 
lon ;  perceiving  which,  and  arguing  but  badly  from  my  silence,  he 
continued: 

"  Am  I  then,  really  deceived  in  what  I  believe  to  be  an  old  and 
true  friend?" 

"  Why,  what  the  devil's  the  matter?"  I  cried  out.  "  If  you  are  in 
a  scrape,  why  of  course  you  know  I'm  your  man;  but  still,  it's  only 
fair  to  let  one  know  something  of  the  matter  in  the  meanwhile. " 

"  In  a  scrape,"  said  he,  with  a  long  drawn  sigh,  intended  to  beat 
the  whole  Minerva  press  in  its  romantic  cadence. 

"  Well,  but  get  on  a  bit,"  said  I,  rather  impatiently;  "  who  is  the 
fellow  you've  got  the  row  with?  Not  one  of  ours,  I  trust?" 

"  Ah,  my  dear  Hal,"  said  he,  in  the  same  melting  tone  as  before, 
"  how  j-our  imagination  does  run  upon  rows,  and  broils,  and  dueling 
rencontres,"  (he,  the  speaker,  be  it  known  to  the  reader,  was  the  fire- 
eater  of  the  regiment),  "  as  if  life  had  nothing  better  to  offer  than 
the  excitement  of  a  challenge,  or  the  mock  heroism  of  a  meeting." 

As  he  made  a  dead  pause  here,  after  which  he  showed  no  dispo- 
sition to  continue,  I  merely  added : 

"  Well,  at  this  rate  of  proceeding  we  shall  get  at  the  matter  in 
hand,  on  our  way  out  to  Corfu,  for  I  hear  we  are  the  next  regiment 
for  the  Mediterranean. " 

The  observation  seemed  to  have  some  effect  in  rousing  him  from 
his  lethargy,  and  he  added: 

"  If  you  only  knew  the  nature  of  the  attachment,  and  how  com- 
pletely all  my  future  hopes  are  concerned  upon  the  issue " 

"  Ho!"  said  I,  "  so  it's  a  money  affair,  is  it?  and  is  it  old  Watson 
has  issued  the  writ?  I'll  bet  a  hundred." 

"Well,  upon  my  soul,  Lorrequer,"  said  he,  jumping  from  his 
chair,  and  speaking  with  more  energy  than  he  had  before  evinced, 
"  you  are,  without  exception,  the  most  worldly-minded,  cold-blooded 
fellow  I  ever  met.     What  have  I  said  that  could  have  led  you  to 
suppose  I  had  either  a  duel  or  a  law-suit  upon  my  hands  this  morn- 
ing?   Learn,  once  and  for  all,  man,  that  I  am  in  love — desperately 
and  over  head  and  ears  in  love." 
'  Et  puts?"  said  I,  coolly. 
'  And  intend  to  marry  immediately." 

'  Oh,  very  well,"  said  I,  "  the  fighting  and  debt  will  come  later; 
that's  all.     But  to  return — now  for  the  lady." 
'  Come,  you  must  make  a  guess." 

'Why,  then,  I  really  must  confess  my  utter  inability;  for  your 
attentions  have  been  so  generally  and  impartially  distributed  since 
our  arrival  here  that  it  may  be  any  fair  one,  from  your  venerable 
partner  at  whist  last  evening  to  Mrs.  Henderson,  the  pastry-cooks  in- 
clusive, for  whose  macaroni  and  cherry-brandy  your  feelings  have 
been  as  warm  as  they  are  constant." 

"  Come,  no  more  quizzing,  Hal.  You  surely  must  have  remarked 
that  lovely  girl  I  waltzed  with  at  Power's  ball  on  Tuesday  last." 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  129 

"  Lovely  girl!  Why,  in  all  seriousness,  you  don't  mean  the  small 
woman  with  the  tow  wig." 

"  No,  I  do  not  mean  any  such  thing — but  a  beautiful  creature  with 
dhe  brightest  locks  in  Christendom — the  very  light  brown  waving 
ringlets  Dominicheno  loved  to  paint,  and  a  foot — did  you  see  her 
foot?" 

"No;  that  was  rather  difficult,  for  she  kept  continually  bobbing 
up  and  down,  like  a  boy's  cork-float  in  a  fish-pond." 

"  Stop  there.     I  shall  not  permit  this  any  longer — I  came  not  here 

to  listen  to " 

But,  Curzon,  my  boy,  you're  not  angry?" 
Yes,  sir,  I  am  angry." 

Why,  surely,  you  have  not  been  serious  all  this  tune?" 
And  why  not,  pray?" 

Oh!  1  don't  exactly  know — that  is,  faith  I  scarcely  thought  you 
were  in  earnest,  for  if  I  did,  of  course  I  should  honestly  have  con- 
fessed to  you  that  the  lady  in  question  struck  me  as  one  of  the  hand- 
somest persons  I  ever  met." 

"  You  think  so,  really,  Hal?" 

"  Certainly  I  do,  and  the  opinion  is  not  mine  alone;  she  is,  in  fact, 
universally  admired." 

"  Come,  Harry,  excuse  my  bad  temper.  I  ought  to  have  known 
you  better — give  me  your  hand,  old  boy,  and  wish  me  joy,  for  with 
you  aiding  and  abetting  she  is  mine  to-morrow  morning." 

I  wrung  his  hand  heartily — congratulating  myself,  meanwhile, 
how  happily  I  had  got  out  of  my  scrape ;  as  I  now,  for  the  first  time, 
perceived  that  Curzon  was  bona  fide  in  earnest. 

"  So,  you  will  stand  by  me,  Hal?"  said  he. 

"  Of  course.  Only  show  me  how,  and  1  am  perfectly  at  your  serv- 
ice. Anything  from  riding  postilion  on  the  leaders  to  officiating  as 
bridemaid,  and  I  am  your  man.  And  if  you  are  in  want  of  such  a 
functionary,  I  shall  stand  in  loco  parentis  to  the  lady,  and  give  her 
away  with  as  much  onction  and  tenderness  as  though  I  had  as 
many  marriageable  daughters  as  King  Priam  himself.  It  is  with  me 
in  marriage  as  in  duelling — I'll  be  anything  rather  than  a  principal; 
and  I  have  long  since  disapproved  of  either  method  as  a  .means  of 
'  obtaining  satisfaction. ' ' 

"  Ah,  Many,  I  shall  not  be  discouraged  by  your  sneers.  You've 
been  rather  unlucky,  I'm  aware;  but  now  to  return.  Your  office, 
on  this  occasion,  is  an  exceeding  simple  one,  and  yet  that  which  I 
could  only  confide  to  one  as  much  my  friend  as  yourself.  You  must 
carry  my  dearest  Louisa  off." 

' '  Carry  her  off  ?    Where  ?— when  ?— how  ? ' ' 

"  All  that  I  have  already  arranged,  as  you  shall  hear." 

"  Yes.  But  first  of  all  please  to  explain  why,  if  going  to  run  away 
with  the  lady,  you  don't  accompany  her  yourself?" 

"  Ah!  I  knew  you  would  say  that ;  I  could  have  laid  a  wager  you'd 
ask  that  question,  for  it  is  just  that  very  explanation  will  show  all  the 
native  delicacy  and  feminine  propriety  of  my  darling  Loo;  and  first, 
I  must  tell  you,  that  old  Sir  Alfred  Jonson,  her  father,  has  some  con- 
founded prejudice  against  the  army,  and  never  would  consent 
to  her  marriage  with  a  red-roat — so  thnt,  his  consent  being  out  of  the 
question,  our  only  resource  is  an  elopement. 


130  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

"  Louisa  consents  to  this,  but  only  upon  one  condition — and  thi« 
she  insists  upon  so  firmly — I  had  almost  said  obstinately — that,  not- 
withstanding all  my  arguments  and  representations,  and  even  entrea- 
ties against  it,  she  remains  inflexible;  so  that  I  have  at  length  yielded, 
and  she  is  to  have  her  own  way. ' ' 

"  Well,  and  what  is  the  condition  she  lays  such  stress  upon?" 

"  Simply  this — that  we  are  never  to  travel  a  mile  together  until  I 
obtain  my  right  to  do  so,  by  making  her  my  wife.  Shehas got  some 
trumpery  notions  in  her  head  that  any  slight  transgression,  over  the 
bounds  of  delicacy,  made  by  women  before  marriage  is  ever  after  re- 
membered by  the  husband  to  their  disadvantage;  and  she  is,  there- 
fore, resolved  not  to  sacrifice  her  principle  even  at  such  a  crisis  as  the 
present." 

"  All  very  proper,  I  have  no  doubt;  but  still,  pray  explain  what  I 
confess  appears  somewhat  strange  to  me  at  present.  How  does  so 
very  delicately-minded  a  person  reconcile  herself  to  traveling  with  a 
perfect  stranger  under  such  circumstances?" 

"  That  I  can  explain  perfectly  to  you.  You  must  know  that  when 
my  darling  Loo  consented  to  take  this  step,  which  I  induced  her  to 
do  with  the  greatest  difficulty,  she  made  the  proviso  I  have  just  men 
tioned ;  I  at  once  showed  her  that  I  had  no  maiden  aunt  or  married 
sister  to  confide  her  to  at  such  a  moment,  and  what  was  to  be  done? 
She  immediately  replied,  '  Have  you  no  elderly  brother  officer,  whose 
years  and  discretion  will  put  the  transaction  in  such  a  light  as  to 
silence  the  slanderous  tongues  of  the  world?  for  with  such  a  man  I 
am  quite  ready  and  willing  to  trust  myself. '  You  see  I  was  hard 
pushed  there.  What  could  I  do? — whom  could  I  select?  Old  Hayes, 
the  paymaster,  is  always  tipsy;  Jones  is  five-and-forty — but  still  if  he 
found  out  there  were  thirty  thousand  pounds  in  the  case,  egad!  I'm 
not  so  sure  I'd  have  found  my  betrothed  at  the  end  of  the  stage.  You 
were  my  only  hope;  I  knew  I  could  rely  upon  you.  You  would 
carry  on  the  whole  affair  with  tact  and  discretion ;  and  as  to  age,  your 
stage  experience  would  enable  you,  with  a  little  assistance  from  cos- 
tume, to  pass  muster;  besides  that,  I  have  always  represented  you  as 
the  very  Methuselah  of  the  corps ;  and  in  the  gray  dawn  of  an  autumnal 
morning — with  maiden  bashfulness  assisting — the  scrutiny  is  not 
likely  to  be  a  close  one.  So,  now,  your  consent  is  alone  wanting  to 
complete  the  arrangements,  which,  before  this  time  to-morrow,  shall 
have  made  me  the  happiest  of  mortals." 

Having  expressed,  in  fitting  terms,  my  full  sense  of  obligation  for 
the  delicate  flattery  with  which  he  pictured  me  as  "  Old  Lorrequer  " 
to  the  lady,  I  begged  a  more  detailed  account  of  his  plan,  which  I 
shall  shorten  for  my  reader's  sake,  by  the  following  brief  expose. 

A  post-chaise  and  four  was  to  be  in  waiting  at  five  o'clock  in  the 
morning  to  convey  me  to  Sir  Alfred  Jonson's  residence,  about  twelve 
miles  distant.  There  I  was  to  be  met  by  a  lady  at  the  gate  lodge, 
who  was  subsequently  to  accompany  me  to  a  small  village  on  the 
Nore,  where  an  old  college  friend  of  Curzon's  happened  to  reside  as 
parson,  and  by  whom  the  treaty  was  to  be  concluded. 

This  was  all  simple  and  clear  enough — the  only  condition  necessary 
to  insure  success  being  punctuality,  particularly  on  the  lady's  part. 
As  to  mine,  I  readily  promised  my  best  aid  and  warmest  efforts  la 
my  friend'tf  behalf. 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  131 

"  There  is  only  one  thing  more,"  said  Curzon.  "  Louisa's  younger 
brother  is  a  devilish  hot-headed,  wild  sort  of  a  fellow ;  and  it  would 
be  as  well,  just  for  precaution's  sake,  to  have  your  pistols  along  with 
you,  if,  by  any  chance,  he  should  make  out  what  was  going  forward 
— not  but  that  you  know  if  anything  serious  was  to  take  place,  I 
should  be  the  person  to  take  all  that  upon  my  hands." 

"Oh!  of  course — I  understand, "  said  I.  Meanwhile  I  could  not 
help  running  over  in  my  mind  the  pleasant  possibilities  such  an  ad- 
venture presented,  heartily  wishing  that  Curzon  had  been  content  to 
marry  by  bans,  or  any  other  of  the  legitimate  modes  in  use,  without 
risking  his  friend's  bones.  The  other  pros  and  cons  of  the  matter, 
with  full  and  accurate  directions  as  to  the  road  to  be  taken  on  ob- 
taining possession  of  the  lady,  being  all  arranged,  we  parted,  I  to 
settle  my  costume  and  appearance  for  my  first  performance  in  an  old 
man's  part,  and  Curzon  to  obtain  a  short  leave  for  a  few  days  from 
the  commanding  officer  of  the  regiment. 

When  we  again  met,  which  was  at  the  mess- table,  it  was  not  with- 
out evidence  on  either  side  of  that  peculiar  consciousness  which  per- 
sons feel  who  have,  or  think  they  have,  some  secret  in  common, 
which  the  world  wots  not  of.  Curzon's  unusually  quick  and  excited 
manner  would  at  once  have  struck  any  close  observer  as  indicating 
the  eve  of  some  important  step,  no  less  than  continual  allusions  to 
whatever  was  going  on,  by  sly  and  equivocal  jokes  and  ambiguous 
jests.  Happily,  however,  on  the  present  occcasion,  the  party  were 
otherwise  occupied  than  watching  him — being  most  profoundly  and 
learnedly  engaged  in  discussing  medicine  and  matters  medical  with 
all  the  acute  and  accurate  knowledge  which  characterizes  such  dis- 
cussions among  the  non-medical  public. 

The  present  conversation  originated  from  some  mention  our  senior 
surgeon,  Fitzgerald,  had  just  made  of  a  consultation  which  he  was 
invited  to  attend  on  the  next  morning,  at  the  distance  of  twenty 
miles,  and  which  necessitated  him  to  start  at  a  most  uncomfortably 
sarly  hour.  While  he  continued  to  deplore  the  hard  fate  of  such 
men  as  himself,  so  eagerly  sought  after  by  the  world  that  their  own 
hours  were  eternally  broken  in  upon  by  external  claims,  the  juniors 
were  not  sparing  of  their  mirth  on  the  occasion,  at  the  expense  of  the 
worthy  doctor,  who  in  plain  truth,  had  never  been  disturbed  by  a  re- 
quest like  the  present,  within  any  one's  memory.  Some  asserted  that 
the  whole  thing  was  a  puff,  got  up  by  Fitz  himself,  who  was  only  going 
'to  have  a  day's  partridge-shooting;  others  hinted  that  it  was  a  blind, 
to  escape  the  vigilance  of  Mrs.  Fitzgerald — a  well-known  virago  in 
i  the  regiment — while  Fitz  enjoyed  himself ;  and  a  third  party,  pretend- 
ling  to  sympathize  with  the  doctor,  suggested  that  a  hundred  pounds 
would  be  the  least  he  could  possibly  be  offered  for  such  services  as  his 
on  so  grave  an  occasion. 

"  No,  no,  only  fifty,"  said  Fitz,  gravely. 

"  Fifty!  Why,  you  tremendous  old  humbug,  you  don't  mean  to 
say  you'll  make  fifty  pounds  before  we  are  out  of  our  beds  hi  the 
morning?"  cried  one. 

"I'll  take  your  bet  on  it,"  said  the  doctor,  who  had,  in  this  in- 
stance, reason  to  suppose  his  fee  would  be  a  large  one. 

During  this  discussion,  the  claret  had  been  pushed  round  rather 
freely;  and  fully  bent,  as  I  was,  upon  the  adventure  before  me,  I 


132  HAllilY    LOJtKKQUER. 

had  taken  my  share  of  it  as  a  preparation.  I  thought  of  the  amaz- 
ing prize  I  was  about  to  be  instrumental  in  securing  for  my  friend— 
for  the  lady  had  really  thirty  thousand  pounds — and  I  could  not  con- 
ceal my  triumph  at  such  a  prospect  of  success  in  comparison  with 
the  meaner  object  of  ambition.  They  all  seemed  to  envy  poor  Fitz- 
gerald. I  struggled  with  my  secret  for  some  time— but  my  pride 
and  the  claret  together  got  the  better  of  me,  and  I  called  out,  "  Fifty 
pounds  on  it,  then,  that  before  ten  to-morrow  morning,  I'll  make  a 
better  hit  of  it  than  you— and  the  mess  shall  decide  between  us  after- 
ward as  to  the  winner. 

"  And  if  you  will,"  said  I,  seeing  some  reluctance  on  Fitz's  part 
to  take  the  wager,  and  getting  emboldened  in  consequence,  "  let  the 
judgment  be  pronounced  over  a  couple  of  dozen  of  champagne 
paid  by  the  loser." 

This  was  a  coup  d'etat  on  my  part,  for  I  knew  at  once  that  there 
were  so  many  parties  to  benefit  by  the  bet,  terminate  which  way  it 
might,  there  could  be  no  possibility  of  evading  it.  Myr-wse  succeed- 
ed, and  poor  Fitzgerald,  fairly  badgered  into  a  wager,  the  terms  of 
which  he  could  not  in  the  least  comprehend,  was  obliged  to  sign  the 
conditions  inserted  in  the  adjutant's  note-book— his  greatest  hope  hi 
so  doing  being  in  the  quantity  of  wine  he  had  seen  me  drink  during 
the  evening.  As  for  myself,  the  bet  was  no  sooner  made  than  I 
began  to  think  upon  the  very  little  chance  I  had  of  winning  it-  for 
even  supposing  my  success  perfect  hi  the  department  allotted  to' me 
it  might  with  great  reason  be  doubted  what  peculiar  benefit  I  myself 
denved  as  a  counterbalance  to  the  fee  of  the  doctor.  For  this,  my 
only  trust  lay  hi  the  justice  of  a  decision  which  I  conjectured  would 
lean  more  toward  the  goodness  of  a  practical  joke  than  the  equity  of 
the  transaction.  The  party  at  mess  soon  after  separated  and  I 
wished  my  friend  good  night  for  the  last  time  before  meeting  him  as 
a  bridegroom. 

I  arranged  everything  in  order  for  my  start.  My  pistol-case  I 
placed  conspicuously  before  me,  to  avoid  being  forgotten  in  the  haste 
of  departure;  and  having  ordered  my  servant  to  sit  up  all  night  in 
the  guard-room  until  he  heard  the  carriage  at  the  barrack-gate  threw 
myself  on  my  bed  but  not  to  sleep.  The  adventure  I  was  about  to 
engage  in  suggested  to  my  mind  a  thousand  associations,  into  which 
many  of  the  scenes  I  have  already  narrated  entered.  I  thought  how 
frequently  I  had  myself  been  on  the  verge  of  that  state  whiclTCurzon 
was  about  to  try,  and  how  it  always  happened  that  when  nearest  to 
success,  failure  had  intervened.  From  my  very  school-boy  days  my 
love  adventures  had  the  same  unfortunate  abruptness  in  their  issue- 
and  there  seemed  to  be  something  very  like  a  fatality  in  the  invaria- 
ble unsuccess  of  my  efforts  at  marriage.  I  feared,  too,  that  my 
friend  Curzon  had  placed  himself  in  very  unfortunate  hands— if 
augury  were  to  be  relied  upon.  Something  will  surely  happen 
thought  I,  from  my  confounded  ill  luck,  and  all  will  be  blown  up 
Wearied  at  last  with  thinking,  I  fell  into  a  sound  sleep  for  about 
three-quarters  of  an  hour,  at  the  end  of  which  I  was  awoke  by  my 
servant  informing  me  that  a  chaise  and  four  were  drawn  up  at  the 
end  of  Barrack-lane. 

surely>  the7  are  too  early,   Stubber?     It's   only   four 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  133 

"  Yes,  sir;  but  they  say  that  the  road  for  eight  miles  is  very  bad, 
and  they  must  go  it  almost  at  a  walk." 

That  is  certainly  pleasant,  thought  I;  but  I'm  in  for  it  now,  so 
can't  help  it. 

In  a  few  minutes  I  was  up  and  dressed,  and  so  perfectly  trans- 
formed  by  the  addition  of  a  brown  scratch-wig  and  large  green  spec- 
tacles, and  a  deep-flapped  waistcoat,  that  my  servant,  on  re-entering 
my  room,  could  not  recognize  me.  I  followed  him  now  across  the 
barrack-yard,  as  with  my  pistol-case  under  one  arm  and  a  lantern  in 
his  hand  he  proceeded  to  the  barrack-gate. 

As  I  passed  beneath  the  adjutant's  window  I  -saw  a  light — the  sash. 
was  quickly  thrown  open,  and  Curzon  appeared. 

"  Is  that  you,  Harry?" 

"  Yes — when  do  you  start?" 

"  In  about  two  hours.  I've  only  eight  miles  to  go — you  have  up- 
ward of  twelve,  and  no  time  to  lose.  God  bless  you,  my  boy — we'll 
meet  soon." 

"  Here's  the  carriage,  sir,  this  way." 

"  Well,  my  lads,  you  know  the  road,  I  suppose?" 

"  Eveiy  inch  of  it,  your  honor's  glory;  we're  always  coming  it  for- 
doctors  and  'pothe caries;  they're  never  a  week  without  them. 

I  was  soon  seated,  the  door  clapped  to,  and  the  words  "  all  right  " 
given,  and  away  we  went. 

Little  as  I  had  slept  during  the  night,  my  mind  was  too  much 
occupied  with  the  adventure  I  was  engaged  in  to  permit  any  thoughts 
of  sleep  now,  so  that  I  had  abundant  opportunity  afforded  me  of 
pondering  over  all  the  bearings  of  the  case,  with  much  more  of  de- 
liberation and  caution  than  I  had  yet  bestowed  upon  it.  One  thing 
was  certain,  whether  success  did  or  did  not  attend  our  undertaking, 
the  risk  was  mine  and  mine  only;  and  if  by  any  accident  the  affair 
should  be  already  known  to  the  family,  I  stood  a  very  fair  chance  of 
"being  shot  by  one  of  the  sons,  or  stoned  to  death  by  the  tenantry; 
while  my  excellent  friend  Curzon  should  be  eating  bis  breakfast  with 
his  reverend  friend,  and  only  interrupting  himself  in  his  fourth 
muffin,  to  wonder  "  what  could  keep  them,"  and  besides,  for  minor 
miseries  will,  like  the  little  devils  in  Don  Giovanni,  thrust  up  their 
heads  among  their  better-grown  brethren,  my  fifty  pound  bet.  looked 
rather  blue;  for  even  under  the  most  favorable  light  considered, 
however  Curzon  might  be  esteemed  a  gainer,  it  might  be  well  doubt- 
ed how  far  I  had  succeeded  better  than  the  doctor,  when  producing 
his  fee  in  evidence.  Well,  well,  I'm  hi  for  it  now;  but  certainly  it 
is  strange,  all  these  very  awkward  circumstances  never  struck  me  so 
forcibly  before;  and*  after  all  it  was  not  quite  fair  of  Curzon  to  put 
any  man  forward  in  such  a  transaction ;  the  more  so  as  such  a  repre- 
sentation might  be  made  of  it  at  the  Horse-Guards  as  to  stop  a  man's 
promotion,  or  seriously  affect  his  prospects  for  life,  and  I  at  last 
began  to  convince  myself  that  many  a  man  so  placed  would  carry 
the  lady  off  himself,  and  leave  the  adjutant  to  settle  the  affair  with 
the  family.  For  two  mortal  hours  did  I  conjure  up  eveiy  possible 
disagreeable  contingency  that  might  arise.  My  being  mulcted  of  my 
fifty  and  laughed  at  by  the  mess  seemed  inevitable,  even  were  I  fort- 
unate enougli  to  escape  a  duel  with  the  lire-eaiing  brother.  Mean- 
"  a  thick  misty  rain  continued  to  fall,  adding  so  much  to  the 


134  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

darkness  of  the  early  hour,  that  I  could  see  nothing  of  the  country 
about  me,  and  knew  nothing  of  where  I  was. 

Troubles  are  like  laudanum,  a  small  dose  only  excites,  a  strong 
one  sets  you  to  sleep — not  a  very  comfortable  sleep  mayhap — but 
still  it  is  sleep,  and  often  very  sound  sleep ;  so  it  now  happened  with 
me.  I  had  pondered  over,  weighed  and  considered  all  the  pros, 
cons,  turnings,  and  windings  of  this  awkward  predicament,  till  I  had 
fairly  convinced  myself  that  I  was  on  the  high  road  to  a  confounded 
scrape;  and  then  having  established  that  fact  to  my  entire  satisfac- 
tion, I  fell  comfortably  back  in  the  chaise,  and  sunk  into  a  most  pro- 
found slumber. 

If  to  any  of  my  readers  I  may  appear  here  to  have  taken  a  very 
despondent  view  of  this  whole  affair,  let  him,  only  call  to  mind  my 
invariable  ill  luck  in  such  matters,  and  always  how  it  had  been  my 
lot  to  see  myself  on  the  fair  road  to  success,  only  up  to  that  point  at 
which  it  is  certain,  besides — but  why  explain?  These  are  my  Con- 
fessions. I  may  not  alter  what  are  matters  of  fact,  and  my  reader 
must  only  take  me  with  all  the  imperfections  of  wrong  motives  and 
headlong  impulses  upon  my  head,  or  abandon  me  at  once. 

Meanwhile  the  chaise  rolled  along,  and  the  road  being  better  and 
the  pace  faster,  my  sleep  became  more  easy ;  thus,  about  an  hour  and 
a  half,  after  I  had  fallen  asleep,  passed  rapidly  over,  when  the  sharp 
turning  of  an  angle  disturbed  me  from  my  leaning  position  and  I 
awoke.  I  started  up  and  rubbed  my  eyes ;  several  seconds  elapsed 
before  I  could  think  where  I  was  or  whither  going.  Consciousness 
at  last  came,  and  I  perceived  that  we  were  driving  up  a  thickly 
planted  avenue.  Why,  confound  it,  they  can't  have  mistaken  it, 
thought  I,  or  are  we  really  going  up  to  the  house,  instead  of  waiting 
at  the  lodge?  I  at  once  lowered  the  sash,  and  stretching  out  my 
head,  cried  out,  "  Do  you  know  what  ye  are  about,  lads;  is  this  all 
right?"  but,  unfortunately,  amid  the  rattling  of  the  gravel  and  the 
clatter  of  the  horses,  my  words  were  unheard;  and  thinking  I  was 
addressing  a  request  to  go  faster,  the  villains  cracked  their  whips, 
and  breaking  into  a  full  gallop,  before  five  minutes  flew  over, 
they  drew  up  with  a  jerk  at  the  foot  of  a  long  portico  to  a  large  and 
spacious  cut-stone  mansion.  When  I  rallied  from  the  sudden  check, 
which  had  nearly  thrown  me  through  the  window,  I  gave  myself  up 
for  lost;  here  l"was  a  vis-a-vis  to  the  very  hall  door  of  the  man 
whose  daughter  I  was  about  to  elope  with,  whether  so  placed  by  the 
awkwardness  and  blundering  of  the  wretches  who  drove  me,  or  de- 
livered up  by  their  treachery,  it  mattered  not,  my  fate  seemed  certain; 
before  I  had  tune  to  determine  upon  any  line  of  acting  in  this  con- 
founded dilemma,  the  door  was  jerked  open  by  a  servant  in  a  somber 
livery;  who,  protruding  his  head  and  shoulders  into  the  chaise, 
looked  at  me  steadily  for  a  moment,  and  said,  "  Ah!  then,  doctor, 
darlin',  but  ye're  welcome."  With  the  speed  with  which  sometimes 
the  bar  of  an  air  long  since  heard,  or  the  passing  glance  of  an  old 
familiar  face  can  call  up  the  memory  of  our  very  earliest  childhood, 
bright  and  vivid  before  us,  so  that  one  single  phrase  explained  the 
entire  mystery  of  my  present  position,  and  I  saw  in  one  rapid  glance 
that  I  had  got  into  the  chaise  intended  for  Dr.  Fitzgerald,  and  was 
absolutely  at  that  moment  before  the  hall  door  of  the  patient.  My 
first  impulse  was  an  honest  one,  to  avow  the  mistake  and  retrace 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  135 

my  steps,  taking  my  chance  to  settle  with  Curzon,  whose  matrimonial 
scheme  I  foresaw  was  doomed  to  the  untimely  fate  of  all  those  I  had 
ever  been  concerned  in.  My  next  thought,  how  seldom  is  the  adage 
true  which  says  "that  second  thoughts  are  best,"  was  upon  my 
luckless  wager,  for,  even  supposing  that  Fitzgerald  should  follow 
me  in  the  other  chaise,  yet  as  I  had  the  start  of  him,  if  I  could  only 
pass  muster  for  half  an  hour,  I  might  secure  the  fee,  and  evacuate 
the  territory;  besides  that  there  was  a  great  chance  of  Fitz's  having 
gone  on  my  errand,  while  I  was  journeying  on  Ms,  in  which  case  I 
should  be  safe  from  interruption.  Meanwhile,  heaven  only  could 
tell,  what  his  interference  in  poor  Curzon's  business  might  not  in- 
volve. These  serious  reflections  took  about  ten  seconds  to  pass 
through  my  mind  as  the  grave  looking  old  servant  proceeded  to  en- 
cumber himself  with  my  cioaK  and  my  pistol-case,  remarking  as  he 
lifted  the  latter,  "  And  may  the  Lord  grant  you  won't  want  the 
instruments  this  time,  doctor,  for  they  say  he  is  better  this  morn- 
ing;" heartily  wishing  amen  to  the  benevolent  prayer  of  the  honest 
domestic,  for  more  reasons  than  one,  I  descended  leisurely,  as  I  con- 
jectured a  doctor  ought  to  do,  from  the  chaise,  and  with  a  solemn 
pace  and  grave  demeanor  followed  him  into  the  house. 

In  the  small  parlor  to  which  I  was  ushered,  sat  two  gentlemen 
somewhat  advanced  in  years,  who  I  rightly  supposed  were  my  medi- 
cal confreres.  One  of  these  was  a  tall,  pale,  ascetic-looking  man, 
with  gray  hair  and  retreating  forehead,  slow  in  speech,  and  lugubri- 
ous in  demeanor.  The  other,  his  antithesis,  was  a  short,  rosy- 
cheeked,  apoplectic  looking  subject ;  with  a  laugh  like  a  suffocating 
Wheeze,  and  a  paunch  like  an  alderman;  his  quick,  restless  eye,  and 
full  nether  lip  denoting  more  of  the  bon  vivant  than  the  abstemious 
disciple  of  Esculapius.  A  moment's  glance  satisfied  me  that  if  I 
had  only  these  to  deal  with,  I  was  safe,  for  I  saw  that  they  were  of 
that  stamp  of  country  practitioner,  half-physician,  half-apothecary, 
Who  rarely  come  in  contact  with  the  higher  orders  of  their  art,  and 
then  only  to  be  dictated  to,  obey  and  grumble. 

"  Doctor,  my  I  beg  to  intrude  myself,  Mr.  Phipps,  on  your 
notice?  Dr.  Phipps  or  Mr.,  it's  all  one;  but  I  have  only  a  license  in 
pharmacy,  though  they  call  me  doctor." 

"  Surgeon  Riley,  sir;  a  very  respectable  practitioner,"  said  he, 
waving  his  hand  toward  his  rubicund  confrere. 

I  at  once  expressed  the  great  happiness  it  afforded  me  to  meet  such 
highly  informed  and  justly  celebrated  gentlemen;  and  fearing  every 
moment  the  arrival  of  the  real  Simon  Pure  should  cover  me  with 
shame  and  disgrace,  begged  they  would  afford  me  as  soon  as  pos- 
sible, some  history  of  the  case  we  were  concerned  for.  They  accord- 
ingly proceeded  to  expound  in  a  species  of  duet,  some  curious  par- 
ticulars of  an  old  gentlemen,  who  had  the  evil  fortune  to  have  them 
for  his  doctors,  and  who  labored  under  some  swelling  of  the  neck, 
which  they  differed  as  to  the  treatment  of,  and  in  consequence  of 
which,  the  aid  of  a  third  party  (myself,  God  bless  the  mark!)  was 
requested. 

As  I  could  by  no  means  divest  myself  of  the  fear  of  Fitz's  arrival, 
I  pleaded  the  multiplicity  of  my  professional  engagements  as  a 
reason  for  at  once  seeing  the  patient;  upon  which  I  was  conducted 
up  stairs  by  my  two  brethren,  and  introduced  into  a  half -lighted 


136  HAKRY    LORREQUER. 

chamber.  In  a  large  easy  chair,  sat  a  florid-looking  old  man,  with  a 
face  in  which  pain  and  habitual  ill-temper  had  combined  to  absorb 
every  expression. 

"  This  is  the  doctor  of  the  regiment,  sir,  that  you  desired  to  see," 
said  my  tall  coadjutor. 

"Oh!  then,  very  well;  good  morning,  sir.  I  suppose  you  will 
find  out  something  new  the  matter,  for  them  two  there  have  been 
doing  so  every  day  this  two  months." 

"  I  trust,  sir,"  I  replied  stiflly,  "  that  with  the  assistance  of  my 
learned  friends,  much  may  be  done  for  you.  Ha!  Hem!  so  this  is 
the  malady.  Turn  your  head  a  little  to  that  side;"  here  an  awful 
groan  escaped  the  sick  man,  for  1,  it  appears,  had  made  considerable 
impression  upon  rather  a  delicate  part,  not  unintentionally  I  must 
confess;  for  as  I  remembered  Hoyle's  maxim  at  whist,  "when  in 
doubt  play  a  trump,"  so  I  thought  it  might  be  true  in  physic,  when 
posed  by  a  difficulty  to  do  a  bold  thing  also.  "  Does  that  hurt  you, 
sir?"  said  I,  in  a  soothing  and  affectionate  tone  of  voice.  "  Like  the 
devil,"  growled  the  patient.  "And  here?"  said  I.  "Oh!  oh!  I 
can't  bear  it  any  longer."  "Oh!  I  perceive,"  said  I,  "the  thing 
is  just  as  I  expected."  Here  I  raised  my  eyebrows,  and  looked  in- 
describably wise  at  my  confreres. 

"  No  aneurism,  doctor,"  said  the  tall  one. 

"  Certainly  not." 

"  Maybe,"  said  the  short  man,  "  maybe  it's  a  stay-»t-home-with- 
us  tumor  after  all;"  so  at  least  he  appeared  to  pronounce  a  con- 
founded technical,  which  I  afterward  learned  was  "  steatomatous. " 
Conceiving  that  my  rosy  friend  was  disposed  to  jeer  at  me,  I  gave 
him  a  terrific  frown,  and  resumed:  "  This  must  not  be  touched." 

"  So  you  won't  operate  upon  it,"  said  the  patient. 

"I  would  not  take  a  thousand  pounds  and  do  so,"  1  replied. 
"  Now  if  you  please,  gentlemen,"  said  I,  making  a  step  toward  the 
door,  as  if  to  withdraw  for  consultation,  upon  which  they  accompa- 
nied me  down  stairs  to  the  breakfast-room.  As  it  was  the  only  time 
in  my  life  I  had  performed  in  this  character,  I  had  some  doubts  as 
to  the  propriety  of  indulging  a  very  hearty  breakfast  appetite,  not 
knowing  if  it  were  unprofessional  to  eat;  but  from  this  doubt  my 
learned  friends  speedily  relieved  me,  by  the  entire  devotion  which 
they  bestowed  for  about  twenty  minutes  upon  ham,  rolls,  eggs,  and 
cutlets,  barely  interrupting  these  important  occupations  by^sly  allu- 
sions -to  the  old  gentleman's  malady,  and  his  chance  of  recovery. 

"  Well,  doctor,"  said  the  pale  one,  as  at  length  he  rested  from  his 
labors,  "  what  are  we  to  do?" 

"  Ay,"  said  the  other,  "  there's  the  question." 

"Go  on,"  said  I,  "go  on  as  before;  I  can't  advise  you  better. " 
Now,  this  was  a  deep  stroke  of  mine;  for  up  to  the  present  moment 
I  did  not  know  what  treatment  they  were  practicing:  but  it  looked  a 
Bhrewd  thing  to  guess  it,  and  it  certainly  was  civil  to  approve  of  it. 

"  So  you  think  that  will  be  best?" 

"  I'm  certain — I  know  nothing  better,"  I  answered. 

"  Well,  I'm  sure,  sir,  we  have  every  reason  to  be  gratified  for  the 
yery  candid  manner  in  which  you  have  treated  us.  Sir,  I'm  your 
most  obediert  servant,"  said  the  fat  one. 

"  Gentlemen,  both  your  good  healths   and  professional   success 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  137 

also;"  here  I  swallowed  a  petit  vewe  of  brandy;  thinking  all  the 
while  there  were  worse  things  than  the  practice  of  physic. 

"  I  hope  you  are  not  going,"  said  one,  as  my  chaise  drew  up  at 
the  door. 

"  Business  calls  me,"  said  I,  "  and  I  can't  help  it." 

"  Could  not  you  manage  to  see  our  friend  here  again,  in  a  day  or 
two?"  said  the  rosy  one. 

"  I  fear  it  will  be  impossible,"  replied  I;  "  besides  I  have  a  notion 
he  may  not  desire  it." 

"  I  have  been  commissioned  to  hand  you  this,"  said  the  tall  doc- 
tor, with  a  half  sigh,  as  he  put  a  check  into  my  hand. 

I  bowed  slightly,  and  stuffed  the  crumpled  paper  with  a  half  care- 
less air  into  my  waistcoat  pocket,  and  wishing  them  both  every  spe- 
cies of  happiness  and  success,  shook  hands  four  times  with  each  and 
drove  off;  never  believing  myself  safe  till  I  saw  the  gate-lodge  be- 
hind me,  and  felt  myself  flying  on  the  road  to  Kilkenny  at  about 
twelve  miles  Irish  an  hour. 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

THE  ELOPEMENT. 

IT  was  past  two  o'clock  when  I  reached  the  town.  On  entering, 
the  barrack-yard,  I  perceived  a  large  group  of  officers  chatting  to- 
gether, and  every  moment  breaking  into  immoderate  fits  of  laugh- 
ter. I  went  over,  and  immediately  learned  the  source  of  their  mirth, 
which  was  this:  No  sooner  had  it  been  known  that  Fitzgerald  was 
about  to  go  to  a  distance,  on  a  professional  call,  than  a  couple  of 
young  officers  laid  their  heads  together,  and  wrote  an  anonymous 
note  to  Mrs.  Fitz,  who  was  the  very  dragon  of  jealousy,  informing 
her  that  her  husband  had  feigned  the  whole  history  of  the  patient 
and  consultation  as  an  excuse  for  absenting  himself  on  an  excursion 
of  gallantry;  and  that  if  she  wished  to  satisfy  herself  of  the  truth  of 
the  statement  she  had  only  to  follow  him  in  the  morning,  and  de- 
tect his  entire  scheme ;  the  object  of  these  amiable  friends  being  to 
give  poor  Mrs.  Fitz  a  twenty  miles  jaunt,  and  confront  her  with  her 
injured  husband  at  the  end  of  it. 

Having  a  mind  actively  alive  to  suspicions  of  this  nature,  the 
worthy  woman  made  all  her  arrangements  for  a  start,  and  scarcely 
was  the  chaise  and  four,  with  her  husband,  put  of  the  town,  than 
she  was  on  the  track  of  it,  with  a  heart  bursting  with  jealousy,  and 
vowing  vengeance  to  the  knife  against  all  concerned  in  this  scheme 
to  wrong  her. 

So  far  the  plan  of  her  persecutors  had  perfectly  succeeded ;  they 
saw  her  depart  on  a  trip  of,  as  they  supposed,  twenty  miles,  and  their 
whole  notions  of  the  practical  joke  were  limited  to  the  eclaircisse- 
ment  that  must  ensue  at  the  end.  Little,  however,  were  they  aware 
how  much  more  nearly  the  suspected  crime  was  the  position  of  the 
poor  doctor  to  turn  out ;  for,  as  by  one  blunder  I  had  taken  his 
chaise,  so  he,  without  any  inquiry  whatever,  had  got  into  the  one 
intended  for  me,  and  never  awoke  from  a  most  refreshing  slumber 
till  shaken  by  the  shoulder  b}*  the  postilion,  who  whispered  in  his 
ear,  "  Here  we  are,  sir:  this  is  the  gate." 


*38  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

'  But  why  stop  at  the  gate?    Drive  up  the  avenue,  my  boy. " 

"  His  honor  told  me,  sir,  not  for  the  world  to  go  further  than  the 
lodge:  nor  to  make  as  much  noise  as  a  mouse." 

"Ah!  very  true.  He  may  be  very  irritable,  poor  man!  Well, 
etop  here,  and  I'll  get  out." 

Just  as  the  doctor  had  reached  the  ground,  a  very  smart-looking 
soubrette  tripped  up  and  said  to  him : 

"  Beg  pardon,  sir;  but  you  are  the  gentleman  from  the  barrack, 
sir?" 

"  Yes,  my  dear,"  said  Fitz,  with  a  knowing  look  at  the  pretty 
face  of  the  damsel,  "  what  can  I  do  for  you?" 

"  Why,  sir,  my  mistress  is  here  in* the  shrubbery;  but  she  is  so 
nervous,  and  so  frightened,  I  don't  know  how  she'll  go  through  it." 

"Ah!  she's  frightened,  poor  thing;  is  she!  Oh!  she  must  keep 
up  her  spirits,  while  there's  life  there's  hope." 

"  Sir." 

"  I  say,  my  darling,  she  must  not  give  way.  I'll  speak  to  her  a 
little.  Is  not  he  rather  advanced  in  life?" 

"Oh!  Lord!  no,  sir.  Only  two-and-thirty,  my  mistress  tells  me." 
Two-and-thirty !  Why  I  thought  he  was  above  sixty. ' ' 

:' Above  sixty!  Law!  sir.  You  have  a  bright  fancy.  This  is  the 
gentleman,  ma'am.  Now,  sir,  I'll  just  slip  aside  for  a  moment,  and 
let  jrou  talk  to  her." 

"  I  am  grieved,  ma'am,  that  I  have  not  the  happiness  to  make 
your  acquaintance  under  happier  circumstances." 

"  I  must  confess,  sir — though  I  am  ashamed " 

"  Never  be  ashamed,  ma'am.  Your  grief,  although  I  trust  cause- 
less, does  you  infinite  honor.  Upon  my  soul  she  is  rather  pretty, " 
said  the  doctor  to  himself,  here. 

"  Well,  sir,  as  I  have  the  most  perfect  confidence  in  you,  from  all 


'  Dangerous !    Is  he  in  so  critical  a  si  ate  as  that  then?" 
"  Critical  a  state,  sir!    Why  what  do  you  mean?" 
"  I  mean,  ma'am,  do  you  think,  then,  it  must  be  done  to-day?" 
"  Of  course  I  do,  sir,  and  I  shall  never  leave  the  spot  without 

your  assuring  me  of  it." 

"  Oh !  in  that  case  make  your  mind  easy.     I  have  the  instruments 

in  the  chaise." 

"  The  instruments  in  the  chaise!  Really,  sir,  if  you  are  not  jest- 
ing—I trust  you  don't  think  this  a  fitting  time  for  such— I  entreat 
of  you  to  speak  more  plainly  and  intelligibly." 

"  Jesting,  ma'am!    I'm  incapable  of  jesting  at  such  a  moment." 
"  M'am!  ma'am!    I  see  one  of  the  rangers,  ma'am,  at  a  distance; 
so  don't  lose  a  moment,  but  get  into  the  chaise  at  once." 

"  Well,  sir,  let  us  away;  for  I  have  now  gone  too  far  to  retract." 

"  Help  my  mistress  into  the  chaise,  sir.  Lord!  what  a  man  he  is." 

A  moment  more  saw  the  poor  doctor  seated  beside  the  young 

lady,   while  the  postilions   plied   whip   and  spur  with  their  best 

energy;    and  the  road  flew  beneath  them.      Meanwhile  the   delay 

caused  by  this  short  dialogue  enabled  Mrs.  Fitz's  slower  conveyance 

to  come  up  with  tht  pursuit,  and  her -chaise  had- just  turned  the 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  139 

angle  of  the  road  as  she  caught  a  glimpse  of  a  muslin  dress  stepping 
into  the  carriage  with  her  husband. 

There  are  no  words  capable  of  conveying  the  faintest  idea  of  the 
feelings  that  agitated  Mrs.  Fitz  at  this  moment.  The  fullest  con- 
firmation to  her  worst  fears  was  before  her  eyes — just  at  the  very  in- 
stant when  a  doubt  was  beginning  to  cross  over  her  mind  that  it 
might  have  been  merely  a  hoax  that  was  practiced  on  her,  and  that 
the  worthy  doctor  was  innocent  and  blameless.  As  for  the  poor  doc- 
tor himself,  there  seemed  little  chance  of  his  being  enlightened  as  to 
the  real  state  of  matters;  for  from  the  moment  the  young  lady  had 
taken  her  place  in  the  chaise,  she  had  buried  her  face  in  her  hands, 
and  sobbed  continually.  Meanwhile  he  concluded  that  they  were 
approaching  the  house  by  some  back  entrance,  to  avoid  noise  and 
confusion,  and  waited  with  due  patience  for  the  journey's  end. 

As,  however,  her  grief  continued  unabated,  Fitz  at  length  began 
to  think  of  the  many  little  consolatory  acts  he  had  successfully  prac- 
ticed in  his  professional  career,  and  was  just  insinuating  some  very 
tender  speech  on  the  score  of  resignation,  his  head  inclined  toward 
the  weeping  lady  beside  him,  when  the  chaise  of  Mrs.  Fitz  came  up 
alongside,  and  the  postilions  having  yielded  to  the  call  to  halt,  drew 
suddenly  up,  displaying  to  the  enraged  wife  the  tableau  we  have 
mentioned. 

"  So,  wretch,"  she  screamed  rather  than  spoke,  "  I  have  detected 
you  at  last." 

"  Lord  bless  me!    Why  it  is  my  wife." 

"  Yes,  villain!  your  injured,  much-wronged  wife!  And  you, 
madam,  may  I  ask  what  you  have  to  say  for  thus  eloping  with  a 
married  man?" 

"  Shame!  My  dear  Jemima,"  said  Fitz,  "  how  can  you  possibly 
permit  your  foolish  jealousy  so  far  to  blind  your  reason?  Don't  you 
see  I  am  going  upon  a  professional  call?" 

"  Oh!  you  are,  are  you!    Quite  professional,  I'll  be  bound." 

"  Oh,  sir!  oh,  madam!  I  beseech  you,  save  me  from  the  anger  of 
my  relatives,  and  the  disgrace  of  exposure.  Pray,  bring  me  back 
at  once." 

"  Why,  my  God,  ma'am,  what  do  you  mean?  You  are  not  gone 
mad,  as  well  as  my  wife." 

"  Really,  Mr.  Fitz,"  says  Mrs.  F.,  "  this  is  carrying  the  joke  too 
far.  Take  your  unfortunate  victim — as  I  suppose  she  is  such — home 
to  her  parents,  and  prepare  to  accompany  me  to  the  barrack;  and 
if  there  be  law  and  justice  in " 

"  Well!  may  the  Lord  in  his  mercy  preserve  my  senses,  or  you  will 
both  drive  me  clean  mad." 

"  Oh,  dear!  Oh,  dear!"  sobbed  the  young  lady,  while  Mrs.  Fitz- 
gerald continued  to  upbraid  at  the  top  of  her  voice,  heedless  of  the 
disclaimers  and  protestations  of  innocence  poured  out  with  the  elo- 
quence of  despair  by  the  poor  doctor.  Matters  were  in  this  state, 
when  a  man,  dressed  in  a  fustian  jacket,  like  a  groom,  drove  up  to 
the  side  of  the  road,  in  a  tax-cart;  he  immediately  got  down,  and 
tearing  open  the  door  of  the  doctor's  chaise,  lifted  out  the  young 
»dy,  and  deposited  her  safely  in  his  own  conveyance,  merely  adding: 
I  say,  master,  you're  in  luck  this  morning,  that  Mr.  William 


140  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

took  the  lower  road ;  for  if  Tie  had  come  up  with  you,  instead  of  me, 
he'd  blow  the  roof  off  your  skull,  that's  all." 

While  these  highly  satisfactory  words  were  being  addressed  to  poor 
Fitz,  Mrs.  Fitzgerald  had  removed  from  her  carriage  to  that  of  her 
husband,  perhaps  preferring  four  horses  to  two;  or  perhaps  she  had 
still  some  unexplained  views  of  the  transaction,  which  might  as  well 
be  told  on  the  road  homeward. 

Whatever  might  have  been  the  nature  of  Sirs.  F.  's  dissertation, 
nothing  is  known.  The  chaise  containing  these  turtle  doves  arrived 
late  at  night  at  Kilkenny,  and  Fitz  was  installed  safely  in  his  quarters 
before  any  one  knew  of  his  having  come  back.  The  following 
morning  he  was  reported  ill;  and  for  three  weeks  he  was  but  once 
seen,  and  that  time  only  at  his  window,  with  a  flannel  night-cap  on 
his  head,  looking  particularly  pale,  and  rather  dark  under  one  eye. 

As  for  Curzon — the  last  thing  known  of  him  that  luckless  morning 
was  his  hiring  a  post-chaise  for  the  Royal  Oak,  from  whence  he 
posted  to  Dublin,  and  hastened  on  to  England.  In  a  few  days  we 
learned  that  the  adjutant  had  exchanged  into  a  regiment  in  Canada; 
and  to  this  hour  there  are  not  three  men  in  the  — th  who  know  the 
real  secret  of  that  morning's  misadventures. 


CHAPTER  XT7T 

DETACHMENT  DUTY — AN  ASSIZE  TOWN. 

As  there  appeared  to  be  but  little  prospect  of  poor  Fitzgerald  ever 
requiring  any  explanation  from  me  as  to  the  events  of  that  morning, 
for  he  feared  to  venture  from  his  room,  lest  he  might  be  recognized 
and  prosecuted  for  abduction,  I  thought  it  better  to  keep  my  own 
secret  also;  and  it  was  therefore  with  a  feeling  of  anything  but  regret 
that  I  received  an  order  which,  under  other  circumstances,  would 
have  rendered  me  miserable— to  march  on  detachment  duty.  To  any 
one  at  all  conversant  with  the  life  we  lead  in  the  army,  I  need  not 
say  how  unpleasant  such  a  change  usually  is.  To  surrender  your 
capital  mess,  with  all  its  well  appointed  equipments— your  jovial 
brother  officers — your  West  India  Madeira — your  cool  Lafitte — your 
daily,  hourly,  and  half-hourly  flirtations  with  the  whole  female 
population — never  a  deficient  one  in  a  garrison  town — not  to  speak 
of  your  matches  at  trotting,  coursing,  and  pigeon  shooting,  and  a 
hundred  other  delectable  modes  of  getting  over  the  ground  through 
life,  till  it  please  your  ungrateful  country  and  the  Horse  Guards  to 
make  you  a  major-general— to  surrender  all  these,  I  say,  for  the 
noise,  dust,  and  damp  disagreeables  of  a  country  inn,  with  bacon  to 
eat,  whisky  to  drink,  and  the  priest,  or  the  constabulary  chief,  to  get 
drunk  with — I  speak  of  Ireland  here — and  your  only  affair  'par  amours 
being  the  occasional  ogling  of  the  apothecary's  daughter  opposite, 
as  of  ten  as  she  visits  the  shop,  in  the  soi-disant  occupation  of  meas- 
uring out  garden  seeds  and  senna.  These  are,  indeed,  the  exchanges 
with  a  difference,  for  which  there  is  co  compensation;  and,  for  my 
own  part,  I  never  went  upon  such  duty,  that  I  did  not  exclaim  with 
the  honest  Irishman,  whea  the  mail  went  over  him,  "  Oh,  Lord! 
what  is  this  for?" — firmly  believing  that  in  the  earthly  purgatory  of 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  141 

such  duties,  1  was  reaping  the  heavy  retribution  attendant  on  past 
offenses. 

Besides,  from  being  rather  a  crack  man  in  my  corps,  I  thought  it 
somewhat  hard  that  my  turn  for  such  duty  should  come  round  about 
twice  as  often  as  that  of  my  brother  officers ;  but  so  it  is — I  never 
knew  a  fellow  a  little  smarter  than  his  neighbors  that  was  not  pounced 
upon  by  his  colonel  for  a  victim.  Now,  however,  I  looked  at  these 
matters  in  a  very  different  light.  To  leave  head-quarters  was  to 
escape  being  questioned;  while  there  was  scarcely  any  post  to  which 
I  could  be  sent,  where  something  strange  or  adventurous  might  not 
turn  up,  and  serve  me  to  erase  the  memory  of  the  past,  and  turn  the 
attention  of  my  companions  in  any  quarter  rather  than  toward  myself. 

My  orders  on  the  present  occasion  were  to  march  to  Clonmel,  from 
whence  I  was  to  proceed  a  short  distance  to  the  house  of  a  magis- 
trate, upon  whose  information,  transmitted  to  the  Chief  Secretary, 
the  present  assistance  of  a  military  party  had  been  obtained ;  and  not 
without  every  appearance  of  reason.  The  assizes  of  the  town  were 
about  to  be  held,  and  many  capital  offenses  stood  for  trial  in  the 
calendar;  and  as  it  was  strongly  rumored  that,  in  the  event  of  certain 
convictions  being  obtained,  a  rescue  would  be  attempted,  a  general 
attack  upon  the  town  seemed  a  too  natural  consequence;  and  if  so, 
the  house  of  so  obnoxious  a  person  as  him  I  have  alluded  to,  would 
be  equally  certain  of  being  assailed.  Such,  at  least,  is  too  frequently 
the  history  of  stich  scenes :  beginning  with  no  one  definite  object — 
sometimes  a  slight  one — more  ample  views  and  wider  conceptions  of 
mischief  follow ;  and  what  has  begun  in  a  drunken  riot — a  casual 
rencontre — may  terminate  in  the  slaughter  of  a  family  or  the  burning 
of  a  village.  The  finest  peasantry — God  bless  them — are  a  vif  people, 
and  quicker  at  taking  a  hint  than  most  others,  and  have,  withal,  a 
natural  taste  for  fighting,  that  no  acquired  habits  of  other  nations  can 
pretend  to  vie  with. 

As  the  worthy  person  to  whose  house  I  was  now  about  to  proceed 
was,  and  if  I  am  rightly  informed  is,  rather  a  remarkable  character 
in  the  local  history  of  Irish  politics,  I  may  as  well  say  a  few  words 
concerning  him.  Mr.  Joseph  Larkins,  Esq.,— (for  so  he  signed  him- 
self)— had  only  been  lately  elevated  to  the  bench  of  magistrates.  He 
was  originally  one  of  that  large  but  intelligent  class  called  in  Ireland 
"  small  farmers,"  remarkable  chiefly  for  a  considerable  tact  in  driv- 
ing hard  bargains — a  great  skill  in  wethers — a  rather  national  dislike 
to  pay  all  species  of  imposts,  whether  partaking  of  the  nature  of  tax, 
title,  grand  jury  cess,  or  anything  of  that  nature  whatsoever.  So 
very  accountable — I  had  almost  said  (for  I  have  been  long  quartered  in 
Ireland),  so  very  laudable,  a  propensity,  excited  but  little  of  surprise 
or  astonishment  in  his  neighbors,  the  majority  of  whom  entertain 
very  similar  views — none,  however,  possessing  anj'thing  like  the  able 
and.  lawyer-like  ability  of  the  worthy  Larkins,  for  the  SUM 
evasion  of  these  inroads  upon  the  liberty  of  the  subject.  Such,  in 
fact,  was  his  talent,  and  so  great  his  success  in  this  respect,  that  he 
had  established  what,  if  it  did  not  exactly  amount  to  a  statute  of 
exemption  in  law,  served  equally  well  in  reality;  and  for  severa/ 
years  he  enjoyed  a  perfect  immunity  on  the  subject  of  money-paying 
in  general.  His  "little  houldin',"  as  he  unostentatiously  called  some 
five  hundred  acres  of  bog,  mountain,  and  sheep-walk,  lay  in  a  remote 


142  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

Eart  of  the  county,  the  roads  were  nearly  impassable  for  several  milee 
i  that  direction,  and  was  of  little  value;  the  agent  was  a  timid  man 
with  a  large  family;  of  three  tithe  proctors  who  had  penetrated  into 
the  forbidden  territory,  two  labored  under  a  dyspepsia  for  life,  not 
being  able  to  digest  parchment  and  sealing-wax,  for  they  usually 
dined  on  their  own  writs,  and  the  third  gave  five  pounds  out  of  his 
pocket  to  a  large,  fresh-looking  man,  with  brown  whiskers  and  beard, 
that  concealed  him  two  nights  in  a  hay-loft  to  escape  the  vengeance 
of  the  people,  which  act  of  philanthropy  should  never  be  forgotten, 
if  some  ill-nfliurcd  people  were  not  bold  enough  to  say  that  the  kind 

individual  in  question  was  no  other  man  than 

However  this  may  be,  true  it  is  that  this  was  the  last  attempt  made 
to  bring  within  the  responsibilities  of  the  law  so  refractory  a  subject; 
and  so  powerful  is  habit,  that,  although  he  was  to  be  met  with  at 
every  market  and  cattle-fan-  in  the  county,  an  arrest  of  his  person  was 
no  more  contemplated  than  if  he  enjoyed  the  privilege  of  parliament 
to  go  at  large  without  danger. 

When  the  country  became  disturbed,  and  nightly  meetings  of  the 
peasantry  were  constantly  held,  followed  by  outrages  against  life  and 
property  to  the  most  frightful  extent,  the  usual  resources  of  the  law 
were  employed  unavailingly.  It  was  in  vain  to  offer  high  rewards. 
Approvers  could  not  be  found;  and  so  perfectly  organized  were  the 
secret  associations,  that  few  beyond  the  very  ringleaders  knew  any- 
thing of  consequence  to  communicate.  Special  commissioners  were 
sent  down  from  Dublin ;  additional  police  force,  detachments  of  mil- 
itary; long  correspondence  took  place  between  the  magistracy  and 
the  government— but  all  in  vain.  The  disturbances  continued;  and 
at  last  to  such  a  height  had  they  arisen,  that  the  country  was  put 
under  martial  law:  and  even  this  was  ultimately  found  perfectly  in- 
sufficient to  repel  what  now  daily  threatened  to  become  an  open  re- 
bellion rather  than  mere  agragrian  disturbance.  It  was  at  this  precise 
moment,  when  all  resources  seemed  to  be  fast  exhausting  them- 
selves, that  certain  information  reached  the  Castle,  of  the  most  im- 
portant nature.  The  individual  who  obtained  and  transmitted  it 
had  periled  his  life  in  so  doing— but  the  result  was  a  great  one— no 
less  than  the  capital  conviction  and  execution  of  seven  of  the  most 
influential  among  the  disaffected  peasantry.  Confidence  was  at  once 
shaken  in  the  secrecy  of  their  associates:  distrust  and  suspicion  fol- 
lowed. Many  of  the  boldest  sunk  beneath  the  fear  of  betrayal,  and 
themselves  became  evidence  for  the  crown ;  and  in  five  months,  a 
county  shaken  with  midnight  meetings,  and  blazing  with  insurrec- 
tionary fires,  became  almost  the  most  tranquil  in  its  province.  It 
may  well  be  believed,  that  he  who  rendered  this  important  service  on 
this  trying  emergency  could  not  be  passed  over,  and  the  name  of  J. 
Larkins  soon  after  appeared  in  the  Gazette  as  one  of  his  Majesty's 
justices  of  the  peace  for  the  county;  pretty  much  in  the  same  spirit 
in  which  a  country  gentleman  converts  the  greatest  poacher  in  his 
neighborhood  by  making  him  his  gamekeeper. 

In  person  he  was  a  large  and  powerfully  built  man,  consideiably 
above  six  feet  in  height,  and  possessing  great  activity,  combined 
with  powers  of  enduring  fatigue  almost  incredible.  With  an  eye 
like  a  hawk,  and  a  heart  that  never  knew  fear,  he  was  the  person,  of 
all  others,  calculated  to  strike  terror  into  the  minds  of  the  country 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  143 

people.  The  reckless  daring  with  which  he  threw  kimself  into 
danger — the  almost  impetuous  quickness  with  which  he  followed  up 
a  scent,  whenever  information  reached  him  of  an  important  char- 
acter—had their  full  effect  upon  a  people  who,  long  accustomed  to 
the  slowness  and  the  uncertainty  of  the  law  were  almost  paralyzed 
at  beholding  detection  and  punishment  follow  on  crime,  as  certainly 
as  the  thunder-crash  follows  the  lightning. 

His  great  instrument  for  this  purpose  was  the  obtaining  informa- 
tion from  sworn  members  of  the  secret  societies,  and  whose  names 
never  appeared  in  the  course  of  a  trial  or  prosecution,  until  the 
measure  of  their  iniquity  was  completed,  when  they  usually  received 
a  couple  of  hundred  pounds  blood-money,  as  it  was  called,  with 
which  they  took  themselves  away  to  America  or  Australia — their 
lives  being  only  secured  while  they  remained  by  the  shelter  afforded 
them  in  the  magistrate's  own  house.  And  so  it  happened  that  con- 
stantly there  numbered  from  ten  to  twelve  of  these  wretches,  inmates 
of  his  family,  each  of  whom  had  the  burden  of  participation  in  one 
murder  at  least,  waiting  for  an  opportunity  to  leave  the  country,  un- 
noticed and  unwatched. 

Such  a  frightful  and  unnatural  state  of  things  can  hardly  be  con- 
ceived ;  and  yet,  shocking  as  it  was,  it  was  a  relief  to  that  which  led 
to  it.  I  have  dwelt,  perhaps,  too  long  upon  this  painful  subject;  but 
let  my  reader  now  accompany  me  a  little  further,  and  the  scene  shall 
be  changed.  Does  he  see  that  long,  low,  white  house  with  a  tall, 
steep  roof,  perforated  with  innumerable  narrow  windows.  There 
are  a  few  straggling  beech  trees,  upon  a  low,  bleak -looking  field  be- 
fore the  house,  which  is  called,  par  excellence,  the  lawn ;  a  pig  or 
two,  some  geese,  and  a  tethered  goat  are,  here  and  there,  musing 
over  the  state  of  Ireland,  while  some  rosy,  curly-headed,  noisy,  and 
bare-legged  urchins  are  gamboling  before  the  door.  This  is  the 
dwelling  of  the  worshipful  justice  to  which  myself  and  my  party 
were  now  approaching,  with  that  degree  of  activity  which  attends  on 
most  marches  of  twenty  miles,  under  the  oppressive  closeness  of  a 
day  in  autumn.  Fatigued  and  tired  as  I  was,  yet  I  could  not  enter 
the  little  inclosure  before  the  house,  without  stopping  for  a  moment 
to  admire  the  view  before  me.  A  large  tract  of  rich  country,  un- 
dulating on  every  side,  and  teeming  with  corn  fields,  in  all  the  yel- 
low gold  of  ripeness;  here  and  there,  almost  hid  by  small  clumps  of 
ash  and  alder,  were  scattered  some  cottages,  from  which  the  blue 
smoke  rose  in  a  curling  column  into  the  calm  evening's  sky.  All 
was  graceful,  and  beautifully  tranquil ;  and  you  might  have  selected 
the  picture  as  emblematic  of  that  happiness  and  repose  we  so  con- 
stantly associate  with  our  ideas  of  the  country;  and  yet,  before  that 
sun  had  even  set,  which  now  gilded  the  landscape,  its  glories  would 
be  replaced  by  the  lurid  glare  of  nightly  incendiarism,  and — but 
here,  fortunately  for  my  reader,  and  perhaps  myself,  I  am  inter- 
rupted in  my  meditations  by  a  rich,  mellifluous  accent  saying,  in  the 
true  Doric  of  the  South : 

"  Mr.  Loorequer!  you're  welcome  to  Curryglass,  sir.  You've  had 
a  hot  day  for  your  march.  Maybe  you'd  take  a  taste  of  sherry  be- 
fore dinner?  Well,  then,  we'll  no),  wait  for  Molowny,  but  order  it 
up  at  once." 

So  saying,  I  was  ushered  into  a  long,  low  drawing-room,  in  which. 


144  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

were  collected  together  about  a  dozen  men,  to  whom  I  was  specially 
and  severally  presented,  and  among  whom  I  was  happy  to  find  my 
boarding-house  acquaintance,  Mr.  Daly,  who,  with  the  others,  had 
arrived  that  same  day,  for  the  assizes,  and  who  were  all  members  of 
the  legal  profession,  either  barristers,  attorneys,  or  clerks  of  the  peace. 
The  hungry  aspect  of  the  convives,  no  less  than  the  speed  with 
which  dinner  made  its  appearance  after  my  arrival,  showed  me  that 
my  coming  was  only  waited  for  to  complete  the  party — the  Mr. 
Molowny,  before  alluded  to,  being  unanimously  voted  present.    The 
meal  itself  h»d  but  slight  pretensions  to  elegance;  there  were  neither 
vol  au  vents,  nor  croquettes;  neither  were  ^here  poulets  aux  truffes, 
nor  coteUettes  a  la  soubise  •  but  in  their  place  stood  a  lordly  fish  of  some 
five-and- twenty  pounds  weight,  a  massive  sirloin,  with  all  the  usual 
armament  of  fowls,  ham,  pigeon-pie,  beefsteak,  &c.,  lying  in  rather 
a  promiscuous  order  along  either  side  of  the  table.     The  party  were 
evidently  disposed  to  be  satisfied,  and,  I  acknowledge,  I  did  not  prove 
an  exception  to  the  Earned  individuals  about  me,  either  in  my  relish 
for  good  things,  or  my  appetite  to  enjoy  them.     Duke  est  desipere  in 
loco,  says  some  one,  by  which  I  suppose  is  meant  that  a  rather  slang 
company  is  occasionally  good  fun.     Whether  from  my  taste  for  the 
"  humanities,"  or  not,  I  am  unable  to  say,  but  certainly  in  my  then 
humor  I  should  not  have  exchanged  my  position  for  one  of  much 
greater  pretensions  to  elegance  and  tone.     There  was  first  a  general 
onslaught  upon  the  viands,  crashing  of  plates,  jingling  of  knives, 
mingling  with  requests  for  "  more  beef,"  "  the  hard  side  of  the  sal- 
mon," or  "another  slice  of  ham."    Then  came  a  dropping  fire  of 
drinking  wine,  which  quickly  increased,  the  decanters  of  sherry  for 
about  ten  minutes  resting  upon  the  table  about  as  long  as  Taglioni 
touches  this  mortal  earth  in  one  of  her  flying  ballets.     Acquaintances 
were  quickly  formed  between  the  members  of  the  bar  and  myself, 
and  I  found  that  my  momentary  popularity  was  likely  to  terminate 
in  my  downfall;  for,  as  each  introduction  was  followed  by  a  bumper 
of  strong  sherry,  I  did  not  expect  to  last  till  the  end  of  the  feast. 
The  cloth  at  length  disappeared,  and  I  was  just  thanking  Providence 
for  the  respite  from  hob-nobbing  which  1  imagined  was  to  follow, 
when  a  huge,  square  decanter  of  whisky  appeared,  flanked  by  an 
enormous  jug  of  boiling  water,  and  renewed  preparations  for  drink- 
ing upon  a  large  scale  seriously  commenced.     It  was  just  at  this 
moment  that  I,  for  the  first  tune,  perceived  the  rather  remarkable 
figure  who  had  waited  upon  us  at  dinner,  and  who,  while  I  chronicle 
so  many  things  of  little  import,  deserves  a  slight  mention.     He  was 
a  little  old  man  of  about  fifty-five  or  sixty  years,  wearing  upon  his 
head  a  barrister's  wig,  and  habited  in  clothes  which  originally  had 
been  the  costume  of  a  very  large  and  bulky  person,  and  which  con- 
sequently added  much  to  the  drollery  of  his  appearance.     He  had 
been,  for  forty  years,  the  servant  of  Judge  Vandeleur,  and  had 
entered  his  present  service  rather  in  the  light  of  a  preceptor  than  a 
menial,  invariably  dictating  to  the  worthy  justice  upon  every  occasion 
of  etiquette  or  propriety,  by  a  reference  to  what  "  the  judge  himself  " 
did,  which  always  sufficed  to  carry  the  day  in  Nicholas's  favor,  op- 
position to  so  correct  a  standard  never  being  thought  of  by  the  jus- 
tice. 
"  That's  Billy  Crow's  own  whisky,  the  '  small  still,'  "  said  Nich- 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  145 

olas,  placing  the  decanter  upon  the  table;  "  make  much  of  it,  for 
there  isn't  such  dew  in  the  county." 

With  this  commendation  upon  the  liquor,  Nicholas  departed,  and 
we  proceeded  to  fill  our  glasses. 

I  cannot  venture — perhaps  it  is  so  much  the  better  that  1  cannot — 
to  give  any  idea  of  the  conversation  which  at  once  broke  out,  as  if  the 
barriers  that  restrained  it  had  at  length  given  way.  But  law  talk 
in  all  its  plenitude  followed;  and  for  two  hours  I  heard  of  nothing 
but  writs,  detainers,  declarations,  traverses  in  prox,  and  alibis,  with 
sundry  hints  for  qui  tarn  processes,  interspersed,  occasional^,  with 
sly  jokes  about  packing  juries  and  confusing  witnesses,  among  which 
figured  the  usual  number  of  good  things  attributed  to  the  Chief 
Baron  O'Grady,  and  the  other  sayers  of  smart  sayings  at  the  bar. 

"  Ah!"  said  Mr.  Daly,  drawing  a  deep  sigh  at  the  same  instant — 
"  the  bar  is  sadly  fallen  off  since  I  was  called  in  the  year  seventy-six. 
There  was  not  a  leader  in  one  of  the  circuits  at  that  time  that 
couldn't  puzzle  any  jury  that  ever  sat  in  a  box:  and  as  for  driving 
through  an  act  of  parliament,  it  was,  as  Sancho  Panza  says,  cakes 
and  gingerbread  to  them.  And  then,  there  is  one  especial  talent  lost 
forever  to  the  present  generation— just  like  stained  glass  and  illu- 
minated manuscripts,  and  slow  poisons  and  the  like — that  were  all 
known  years  ago — I  mean  the  beautiful  art  of  addressing  the  judge 
before  the  jury,  and  not  letting  them  know  you  were  quizzing  them, 
if  ye  liked  to  do  that  same.  Poor  Peter  Purcell  for  that— rest  his 
ashes— he  could  cheat  the  devil  himself  if  he  had  need — and  maybe 
he  has  had  before  now.  Peter  is  sixteen  years  dead  last  November. " 

"  And  what  was  Peter's  peculiar  tact  in  that  respect,  Mr.  Daly?" 
said  I. 

"  Oh,  then  I  might  try  for  hours  to  explain  it  to  you  in  vain;  but 
I'll  just  give  you  an  instance,  that'll  show  you  better  than  all  my 
dissertations  on  the  subject,  and  I  was  present  myself  when  it  hap- 
pened, more  by  token,  it  was  the  first  time  lever  met  him  on  circuit: 

"  I  suppose  there  is  scarcely  any  one  here  now,  except  myself ,  that 
remembers  the  great  cause  of  Mills  versus  Mulcahy,  a  widow  and 
others,  that  was  tried  at  Ennis,  in  the  year  '82.  It's  no  matter  if 
there  is  not.  Perhaps  it  may  be  more  agreeable  for  me,  for  I  can  tell 
my  story  in  my  own  version,  and  not  be  interrupted.  Well,  that 
was  called  the  old  record,  for  they  tried  it  seventeen  times.  I  be- 
lieve, on  my  conscience,  it  killed  old  Jones,  who  was  in  the  Common 
Pleas;  he  used  to  say,  if  he  put  it  for  trial  on  the  Day  of  Judgment, 
one  of  the  parties  would  be  sure  to  lodge  an  appeal.  Be  that  as  it 
may,  the  Millses  engaged  Peter,  special,  and  brought  him  down  with 
a  great  retainer,  in  a  chaise  and  four,  flags  flying,  and  favors  in  the 
postilions'  hats,  and  a  fiddler  on  the  roof,  playing  the  '  Hare  in  the 
Corn. '  The  inn  was  illuminated  the  same  evening,  and  Peter  made 
n,  speech  from  the  windows  upon  the  liberty  of  the  press  and  relig- 
ious freedom  all  over  the  globe,  and  there  wasn't  a  man  in  the  mob 
didn't  cheer  him,  which  was  the  more  civil,  because  few  of  them 
knew  a  word  of  English,  and  the  others  thought  he  was  a  play-actor. 
But  it  all  went  off  well,  nevertheless,  for  Peter  was  a  clever  fellow; 
and  although  he  liked  money  well,  he  liked  popularity  more,  and  he 
never  went  anywhere  special  that  he  hadn't  a  public  meeting  of  some 
kind  or  other,  either  to  abolish  rents,  or  suppress  parsons,  or  some 


146  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

such  popular  and  beneficial  scheme,  which  always  made  him  a  great 
favorite  with  the  people,  and  got  him  plenty  of  clients.  But  I  am 
•wandering  from  the  record.  Purcell  came  down,  as  I  said  before, 
special  for  Mills;  and  when  he  looked  over  his  brief,  and  thought  of 
the  case,  he  determined  to  have  it  tried  by  a  gentlemen  jury,  for, 
although  he  was  a  great  man  with  the  mob,  he  liked  the  country 
gentlemen  better  in  the  jury  box,  for  he  was  always  coming  out  with 
quotations  from  the  classics,  which,  whether  the  grand  jury  under- 
stood or  not,  they  always  applauded  very  much.  Well,  when  he 
came  into  court  that  morning,  you  may  guess  his  surprise  and 
mortification  to  find  that  the"  same  jury  that  had  tried  a  common 
ejectment  case  were  still  in  the  box,  and  waiting,  by  the  chief  jus- 
tice's direction,  to  try  Mills  versus  Mulcahy,  the  great  case  of  the 
Assizes. 

"  I  hear  they  were  a  set  of  common  clod-hopping  wretches,  with. 
•  frieze  coats  and  brogues,  that  no  man  could  get  round  at  all,  for  they 
were  as  cunning  as  foxes,  and  could  tell  blarney  from  good  sense, 
rather  better  than  people  with  better  coats  on  them. 

"  Now,  the  moment  that  Mr.  Purcell  came  into  the  court,  after 
bowing  politely  to  the  judge,  he  looked  up  to  the  box,  and  when  he 
saw  the  dirty  faces  of  the  dealers  in  pork  and  potatoes,  and  the  un- 
shaven chins  of  the  small  farmers,  his  heart  fell  within  him,  and  he 
knew  in  a  minute  how  little  they'd  care  for  the  classics — if  he  quoted 
Caesar's  Commentaries  itself  for  them — ignorant  creatures  as  they 
were! 

"  Well,  the  cause  was  called,  and  up  gets  Peter,  and  he  began  to 
'express,'  (as  he  always  called  it  himself),  '  the  great  distress  his 
«lient  and  himself  would  labor  under,  if  the  patient  and  most  intelli- 
gent jury  then  on  the  panel  should  come  to  the  consideration  of  so 
very  tedious  a  case  as  this  promised  to  be,  after  their  already  most 
fatiguing  exertions;'  he  commented  upon  their  absence  from  their 
wives  and  and  families,  their  farms  neglected,  their  crops  hazarded, 
and  in  about  fifteen  minutes  he  showed  them  they  were,  if  not  speed- 
ily released  and  sent  home,  worse  treated  and  harder  used  than  many 
of  the  prisoners  condemned  to  three  months'  imprisonment;  and 
actually  so  far  worked  upon  the  feelings  of  the  chief  himself,  that 
he  turned  to  the  foreman  of  the  jury  and  said,  '  that  although  it  was 
a  great  deviation  from  liis  habitual  practice,  if  at  this  pressing  season 
(heir  prospects  were  involved  to  the  extent  the  learned  counsel  had 
pictured,  why  then,  that  he  would  so  far  bend  his  practice  on  this 
occasion,  and  they  should  be  dismissed. '  Now,  Peter,  I  must  con- 
fess, here  showed  the  most  culpable  ignorance  in  not  knowing  that  a 
set  of  country  fellows,  put  up  in  a  jury  box,  would  rather  let  every 
blade  of  corn  rot  in  the  ground,  than  give  up  what  they  always  sup- 
posed so  very  respectable  an  appointment ;  for  they  invariably  imag- 
ine in  these  cases  that  they  are  something  very  like  my  lord  the  judge, 
'  barrin'  the  ermine;'  besides,  that  on  the  present  occasion,  Peter's 
argument  in  their  favor  decided  them  upon  staying,  for  they  now 
felt  like  martyrs,  and  firmly  believed  that  they  were  putting  the  chief 
justice  under" an  obligation'for  life. 

"  When,  therefore,  they  heard  the  question  of  the  court,  it  did  not 
take  a  moment's  time  for  the  whole  body  to  rise  en  masse,  and  bow- 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  147 

Ing  to  the  judge,  call  out,  '  We'll  stay,  my  lord,  and  try  every  moth- 
er's son  of  them  for  you ;  ay,  if  it  lasted  till  Christmas. ' 

"  '  I  am  sure,  my  lord,'  said  Peter,  collecting  himself  for  an  effort, 
'  I  cannot  sufficiently  express  my  gratitude  for  the  great  sacrifice 
these  gifted  and  highly  intelligent  gentlemen  are  making  in  my  client's 
behalf;  for,  being  persons  who  have  great  interest  in  the  country  at 
stake,  their  conduct  on  the  present  occasion  is  the  more  praiseworthy : 
and  I  am  certain  they  fully  appreciate,  as  does  your  lordship,  the 
difficulty  of  the  case  before  us,  when  documents  will  be  submitted, 
requiring  a  certain  degree  of  acquaintance  with  such  testimonials 
sufficiently  to  comprehend.  Many  of  the  title  deeds,  as  your  lordship 
is  aware,  being  obtained  under  old  abbey  charters,  are  in  the  learned 
languages ;  and  we  all  know  how  home  to  our  hearts  and  bosoms 
comes  the  beautiful  line  of  the  Greek  poet,  "  vacuus  viator  cantabit 
ante  latronem."  The  sound  of  the  quotation  roused  the  chief 
justice,  who  had  been  in  some  measure  inattentive  to  the  preceding 
part  of  the  learned  counsel's  address,  and  he  called  out  rather  sharply, 
'  Greek !  Mr.  Purcell — why  I  must  have  mistaken — will  you  repeat 
\he  passage?' 

"  '  With  pleasure,  my  lord.  I  was  just  observing  to  your  lordship 
and  the  jury,  with  the  elegant  poet,  Hergesius,  "  vacuus  viator  canta- 
bit flute  latronem." 

"  '  Greek,  did  you  call  it?' 

"  '  Yes,  my  lord,  of  course  I  did.' 

"  '  Why,  Mr.  Purcell,  you  are  quoting  Latin  to  me — and  what  do 
you  mean  by  talking  of  the  learned  Hergesius,  and  Greek  all  the 
time! — the  line  is  Juvenal's.' 

"  '  My  lord,  with  much  submission  to  your  lordship,  and  every 
deference  to  your  great  attainments  and  very  superior  talents,  let 
me  still  assure  you  that  I  am  quoting  Greek,  and  that  your  lordship 
is  in  error.' 

"  '  Mr.  Purcell,  I  have  only  to  remark,  that  if  you  are  desirous  to 
make  a  jest  of  the  court,  you  had  better  be  cautious,  sir;'  and  here 
the  judge  waxed  exceeding  wroth.  '  I  say  the  line  is  Latin — Latin, 
sir,  Juvenal's  Latin,  sir —  very  schoolboy  knows  it!' 

"  '  Of  course,  my  lord,'  said  Peter,  with  great  humility,  '  I  bow 
myself  to  the  decision  of  your  lordship ;  the  line  is,  therefore,  Latin. 
Yet  I  may  be  permitted  to  hint  that  were  your  lordship  disposed  to 
submit  this  question,  as  you  are  shortly  about  to  do  another  and  a 
similar  one,  to  those  clear-sighted  and  intelligent  gentlemen  there, 
I  am  satisfied,  my  lord,  it  would  be  Greek  to  every  man  of  them. ' 

"  The  look,  the  voice,  and  the  peculiar  emphasis  with  which  Peter 
gave  these  words,  were  perfectly  successful.  The  acute  judge  antici- 
pated the  wish  of  the  counsel — the  jury  were  dismissed,  and  Peter 
proceeded  in  his  case  before  those  he  knew  better  how  to  deal  with 
and  with  whom  the  result  was  more  certain  to  be  as  he  wished  it." 

To  this  anecdote  of  the  counselor,  succeeded  many  others,  of 
which,  as  the  whisky-was  potent  and  the  hour  late,  my  memory  is 
not  over  retentive;  the  party  did  not  break  up  till  near  four  o'clock; 
and  even  then,  our  seance  only  concluded  because  some  one  gravely 
remarked,  "  that  as  we  should  be  all  actively  engaged  on  the  mor- 
row, early  hours  were  advisable. " 


148  HAKKY    LORKEQUEB, 


CHAPTER  XX. 

THE    ASSIZE    TOWN. 

I  HAD  not  been  above  a  week  in  my  new  quarters,  when  my  serv- 
ant presented  me,  among  my  letters,  one  morning,  with  a  packet, 
which,  with  considerable  pains,  1  at  length  recognized  to  be  directed 
to  me.  The  entire  envelope  was  covered  with  writing  in  various 
hands,  among  which  I  detected  something  which  bore  a  faint  re- 
semblance to  my  name;  but  the  address  which  followed  was  perfectly 
unreadable,  not  only  to  me  as  it  appeared,  but  also  the  "  experts  "  of 
the  different  post-offices,  for  it  had  been  followed  by  sundry  directions 
to  try  various  places  beginning  with  T,  which  seemed  to  be  the  let- 
ter commencing  the  "  great  unknown  locality;"  thus  I  read  "  try 
Tralee,"  "try  Tyrone,"  "  Try  Tanderagee,"  &c.,  &c.  I  wonder 
that  they  didn't  add,  "  try  Teheran,"  and  I  suppose  they  would  at 
last,  rather  than  abandon  the  pursuit. 

"  But,  Stubbes,"  said  I,  as  I  conned  over  the  various  addresses  on 
this  incomprehensible  cover,  "  are  you  sure  this  is  for  me?" 

"  The  postmaster,  sir,  desired  me  to  ask  you  if  you'd  have  it,  for 
he  has  offered  it  to  every  one  down  in  these  parts  lately;  the  water- 
guard  offices  will  take  it  at  8d.  sir,  if  you  won't,  but  I  begged  you 
might  have  the  refusal." 

' '  Oh !  very  well ;  I  am  happy  to  find  matters  are  managed  so  im- 
partially in  the  post-office  here.  Nothing  like  a  public  auction  for 
making  matters  find  their  true  level.  Tell  the  .postmaster,  then,  I'll 
keep  the  letter,  and  the  rather,  as  it  happens,  by  good  luck,  to  be 
intended  for  me. " 

"  And  now  for  the  interior,"  said  I,  as  I  broke  the  seal  and  read: 

"  PARIS,  RUE  CASTIGLIONE. 

"  MY  DEAB  M.  LOBREQUER — As  her  ladyship  and  my  son  have 
in  vain  essayed  to  get  anything  from  you  in  the  shape  of  reply  to 
their  letters,  it  has  devolved  upon  me  to  try  my  fortune,  which, 
were  I  to  augur  from  the  legibility  of  my  writing,  may  not,  I  should 
fear,  prove  more  successful  than  the  " — (what  can  the  word  be?) 
"  the — the  " — why,  it  can't  be  damnable,  surely? — no,  it  is  amiable 
I  see — "  than  the  amiable  epistle  of  my  lady.  1  cannot,  however, 
permit  myself  to  leave  this  without  apprising  you  that  we  are  about 
to  start  for  Baden,  where  we  purpose  remaining  a  month  or  two. 
Your  cousin  Guy,  who  has  been  staying  here  for  some  time  with  us, 
has  been  obliged  to  set  out  for  Geneva,  but  hopes  to  join  us  some 
weeks  hence.  He  is  a  great  favorite  with  us  all,  but  has  not  effaced 
the  memory  of  our  older  friend,  yourself.  Could  you  not  find  means 
to  come  over  and  see  us — if  only  a  flying  visit?  Rotterdam  is  the 
route,  and  a  few  days  would  bring  you  to  our  quarters.  Hoping 
that  you  may  feel  so  disposed,  I  nave  inclosed  herewith  a  letter  to 
the  Horse  Guards,  which  I  trust  may  facilitate  your  obtaining  leave 
of  absence.  I  know  of  no  other  ruodu  of  making  your  peace  with 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  149 

the  ladies,  who  are  too  highly  incensed  at  your  desertion  to  send  one 
civil  postscript  to  this  letter;  and  Kilkee  and  myself  are  absolutely 
exhausted  in  our  defense  of  you.  Believe  me  yours,  truly, 

"  CALLONBY." 

Had  1  received  an  official  notification  of  my  being  appointed  pay- 
master to  the  forces,  or  chaplain  to  Chelsea  hospital,  I  believe  I 
should  have  received  the  inf  onnation  with  less  surprise  than  I  perused 
this  letter.  That  after  the  long  interval  which  had  elapsed,  during 
which  I  had  considered  myself  totally  forgotten  by  this  family,  I 
should  now  receive  a  letter — and  such  a  letter  too — quite  in  the  vein 
of  our  former  intimacy  and  good  feeling,  inviting  me  to  their  house, 
and  again  professing  their  willingness  that  I  should  be  on  the  terms 
of  our  old  familiarity — was  little  short  of  wonderful  to  me:  1  read 
too — with  what  pleasure? — that  slight  mention  of  my  cousin,  whom 
I  had  so  long  regarded  as  my  successful  rival,  but  who  I  began  now 
to  hope  had  not  been  preferred  to  me.  Perhaps  it  was  not  yet  too 
late  to  think  that  all  was  not  hopeless.  It  appeared,  too,  that  several 
letters  had  been  written  which  had  never  reached  me;  so,  while  I  ac- 
cused them  of  neglect  and  forgetfulness,  I  was  really  more  amenable 
to  the  charge  myself ;  for  from  the  moment  I  had  heard  of  my  cousin 
Guy's  having  been  domesticated  amongst  them,  and  the  rumors  of  his 
marriage  had  reached  me,  I  suffered  my  absurd  jealousy  to  blind  my 
reason,  and  never  wrote  another  line  after.  I  ought  to  have  known 
how  "  bavard  "  Guy  always  was;  that  he  never  met  with  the  most 


ten  thousand  times  quicker  than  my  hopes  were  extinguished  before, 
were  they  again  kindled,  and  I  could  not  refrain  from  regarding 
Lady  Jane  as  a  mirror  of  constancy,  and  myself  the  most  fortunate 
man  in  Europe.  My  old  castle-building  propensities  came  back  to 
me  in  an  instant,  and  I  pictured  myself  with  Lady  Jane  as  my  com- 
panion, wandering  among  the  beautiful  scenery  of  the  Neckar,  be- 
neath the  lofty  ruins  of  Heidelberg,  or  skimming  the  placid  surface 
of  the  Rhine,  while,  "  mellowed  by  distance,"  came  the  rich  chorus 
of  a  student's  melody,  filling  the  air  with  its  flood  of  song.  How 
delightful,  I  thought,  to  be  reading  the  lyrics  of  Uhland  01  Burger 
with  one  so  capable  of  appreciating  them  with  all  the  hallowed 
associations  of  the  "  Vaterland  "  about  us.  "  Yes,"  said  I  aloud, 
repeating  the  well-known  line  of  a  German  "  Lied:" 

"  Bekranzt  mit  Laub,  den  lieben  vollen  Becher." 

"  Upon  my  conscience,"  said  Mr.  Daly,  who  had  for  some  time  past 
been  in  silent  admiration  of  my  stage-struck  appearance — "  upon  my 
conscience,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  had  no  conception  you  knew  Irish." 

The  mighty  talisman  of  the  counselor's  voice  brought  me  back 
in  a  moment  to  a  consciousness  of  where  I  was  then  standing,  and 
the  still  more  unfortunate  fact  that  I  was  only  a  subaltern  in  his 
majesty's  — th . 

"  Why,  my  dear  counselor,  that  was  German  I  was  quoting,  not 
Irish." 

"  With  all  my  heart,"  said  Mr.  Daly,  breaking  the  top  of  his  third 


150  HAHRY    LORREQUEIt. 

egg — "  with  all  my  heart;  I'd  rather  you'd  talk  it  than  me.  Mucfc 
conversation  in  that  tongue,  I'm  thinking,  would  be  mighty  apt  to 
loosen  one's  teeth." 

"  Not  at  all,  it  is  the  most  beautiful  language  in  Europe,  and  the 
most  musical  too.  Why,  even  for  your  own  peculiar  taste  in  such 
matters,  where  can  you  find  any  language  so  rich  in  Bacchanalian 
songs  as  the  German?" 

"  I'd  rather  hear  the  '  Cruiskeen  Lawn  '  or  the  '  Jug  of  Punch,' 
as  my  old  friend  Pat  Sampson  could  sing  them,  than  a  score  of  your 
high  Dutch  jaw-breakers." 

"  Shame  upon  ye,  Mr.  Daly;  and  for  pathos,  for  true  feeling, 
where  is  there  anything  equal  to  Schiller's  ballads?" 

"  I  don't  think  I  ever  heard  any  of  his;  but  if  you  will  talk  of 
ballads,"  said  the  counselor,  "give  me  old  Mosey  McGarry's; 
what's  finer  than  " — and  here  began,  with  a  most  nasal  twang  and 
dolorous  emphasis,  to  sing: 

"  '  And  I  stepp'd  up  unto  her, 

An'  I  made  a  congee — 
An'  I  ax'd  her  her  pardon, 
For  the  making  so  free.' 

"  And  then  the  next  verse,  she  says: 

"  '  Are  you  poin'  to  undo  me, 
In  this  desert  alone?' 

"  There's  a  shake  there." 

"  For  heaven's  sake,"  I  cried,  "  stop;  when  I  spoke  of  ballads,  I 
mever  meant  such  infernal  stuff  as  that, " 

"  I'll  not  give  up  my  knowledge  of  ballads  to  any  man  breathing," 
aaid  Mr.  Daly;  "and,  with  God's  blessing,  I'll  sing  you  one  this 
evening,  after  dinner,  that  will  give  you  a  cramp  in  the  stomach." 

An  animated  discussion  upon  lyrical  poetry  was  here  interrupted  by 
a  summons  from  our  host  to  set  out  for  the  town.  My  party  were,  by 
the  desire  of  the  magistracy,  to  be  in  readiness  near  the  court  house,  in 
the  event  of  any  serious  disturbance,  which  there  existed  but  too  much 
reason  to  fear  from  the  highly  excited  state  of  feeling  on  the  subject 
of  the  approaching  trials.  The  soldiers  were,  under  the  guidance  of 
Mr.  Larkins,  safely  ensconced  hi  a  tan  yard,  and  I  myself  having 
consigned  them  for  the  present  to  a  non-commissioned  officer,  was 
left  at  perfect  liberty  to  dispose  of  my  time  and  person  as  it  might 
please  mo. 

While  these  arrangements  were  taking  place,  I  had  entirely  lost 
sight  of  Mr.  Daly,  under  whose  guidance  and  protection  I  trusted  to 
obtain  a  place  within  the  bar  1o  hear  the  trials;  so  that  I  was  now 
perfectly  alone,  for  my  host's  numerous  avocations  entirely  preclud- 
ed any  thought  of  putting  myself  under  his  care. 

My  first  object  was  to  reach  the  court-house,  and  there  could  be 
little  difficulty  in  finding  it,  for  the  throng  of  persons  in  the  streets 
were  all  eagerly  bending  their  way  thither.  I  accordingly  followed 
With  the  stream,  and  soon  found  myself  among  an  enormous  multi- 
tude of  frieze-coated  and  red-cloake'd  people,  of  both  sexes,  in  a  large 
oper.  square,  which  formed  the  market-place,  one  side  of  which  was 
fiajiked  by  the  court-house— for  as  such  I  immediately  recognized  a 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  151 

in&ssive-looking  gray  stone  building — in  which  the  numerous  win- 
dows, all  open  and  filled  with  people,  exhaled  a  continued  stream 
from  the  crowded  atmosphere  within.  To  approach  it  was  perfectly 
impossible:  for  the  square  was  packed  so  closely,  that  as  the  people 
approached,  by  the  various  streets,  they  were  obliged  to  stand  in  the 
avenues  leading  to  it,  and  regard  what  was  going  on  from  a  dis- 
tance. Of  this  large  multitude  I  soon  became  one,  hoping  that  at 
length  some  fortunate  opportunity  might  enable  me  to  obtain  admis- 
sion through  some  of  my  legal  acquaintances. 

That  the  fate  of  those  who  were  then  upon  their  trial  for  their  live* 
absorbed  the  entire  feeling  of  those  without,  a  momentary  glance  at 
the  hundreds  of  anxious  and  careworn  faces  in  the  crowd  would 
completely  satisfy.  Motionless  and  silent  they  stood;  they  felt  no 
fatigue — no  want  of  food  or  refreshment — their'interest  was  one  and 
undivided — all  their  hopes  and  fears  were  centered  in  the  events  then 
passing  at  a  short  distance  from  them,  but  to  which  their  ignorance 
imparted  an  additional  and  more  painful  excitement — the  only  infor- 
mation of  how  matters  were  going  on  being  by  an  ocasional  word, 
sometimes  a  mere  gesture  from  some  one  stationed  in  the  windows  to 
a  friend  in  the  crowd. 

When  the  contemplation  of  this  singularly  impressive  scene  was 
beginning  to  weary  from  the  irksomeness  of  my  position,  I  thought 
of  retiring;  but  soon  discovered  how  impossible  was  such  a  step. 
The  crowd  had  blocked  up  so  completely  all  the  avenues  of  approach, 
that  even  had  I  succeeded  in  getting  from  the  market-place,  it  would 
be  only  to  remain  firmly  impacted  among  the  mob  in  the  street. 

It  now  also  occurred  to  me,  that  although  I  had  been  assured  by 
Larkins  no  call  could  possibly  be  made  upon  my  services,  or  those 
of  my  party,  till  after  the  trial,  yet,  were  that  to  conclude  at  any  mo- 
ment, I  should  be  perfectly  unable  to  regain  the  place  where  I  had 
stationed  them,  and  the  most  serious  consequences  might  ensue  from 
the  absence  of  their  officer,  if  the  men  were  required  to  act. 

From  the  time  this  thought  took  possession  of  me,  I  became  exces- 
sively uncomfortable.  Every  expression  of  the  people  that  denoted 
the  progress  of  the  trial,  only  alarmed  me  for  the  conclusion,  which, 
I  supposed,  might  not  be  distant,  and  I  began,  with  all  my  ingenuity, 
to  attempt  my  retreat,  which,  after  half  an  hour's  severe  straggle.  I 
completely  abandoned,  finding  myself  scarcely  ten  yards  from  where 
I  started. 

At  length,  the  counsel  for  the  crown,  who  had  been  speaking  to 
evidence,  ceased ;  and  an  indistinct  murmur  was  heard  through  the 
court-house,  which  was  soon  repressed  by  the  voice  of  the  crier  call- 
ing "  silence."  All  now  seemed  still  and  silent  as  the  grave — yet,  on 
listening  attentively  for  some  time,  you  could  catch  the  low  tones  of 
a  voice  speaking,  as  it  appeared,  with  great  deliberation  and  slowness. 
This  was  the  judge  addressing  the  jury.  In  a  short  time  this  also 
ceased ;  and,  for  about  half  an  hour,  the  silence  was  perfectly  un- 
broken, and  both  within  and  without  there  reigned  one  intense  and 
aching  sense  of  anxiety  that  absorbed  every  feeling,  and  imparted  to 
every  face  an  expression  of  almost  agonizing  uncertainty.  It  was, 
indeed,  a  space  well  calculated  to  excite  such  emotions.  The  jury 
had  retired  to  deliberate  upon  their  verdict.  At  length  a  door  was 
heard  to  open,  and  the  footsteps  of  the  jury,  as  they  resumed  their 


152  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

place?,  sounded  through  the  court,  and  were  heard  by  those  without. 
Ho\v  heavily  upon  many  a  stout  heart  those  footsteps  fell!  They  had 
taken  their  seats — then  came  another  pause — after  which  the  monoto- 
nous tones  of  the  clerk  of  the  court  were  heard,  addressing  the  jury 
for  their  verdict.  As  the  foreman  rises  every  ear  is  bent — every  eye- 
strained— every  heart-string  vibrates :  his  lips  move,  but  he  is  not 
heard;  he  is  desired  by  the  judge  to  speak  louder;  the  color  mounts 
to  his  before  bloodless  face;  he  appears  to  labor  fora  few  seconds 
with  a  mighty  effort,  and,  at  last,  pronounces  the  word,  "  Guilty,  my 
Lord,  all  guilty!" 

I  have  heard  the  wild  war-whoop  of  the  red  Indian,  as,  in  his  own 
pine  forest,  he  has  unexpectedly  come  upon  the  tiack  of  his  foe,  and 
the  almost  extinguished  hope  of  vengeance  has  been  kindled  again 
in  his  cruel  heart;  I  have  listened  to  the  scarcely  less  savage  hurrah 
of  a  storming  party,  as  they  have  surmounted  the  crumbling  ruins 
of  a  breach,  and  devoted  to  fire  and  sword,  with  that  one  yell,  all 
who  await  them;  and  once  in  my  life  it  has  been  mv  fortune  to  have 
heard  the  last  yell  of  defiance  from  a  pirate  crew,  as  they  sunk  be- 
neath the  raking  fire  of  a  frigate,  rather  than  surrender,  and  went 
down  with  a  cheer  of  defiance  that  rose  even  above  the  red  artillery 
that  destroyed  but  could  not  subdue  them;  but  never,  in  any  or  all 
of  these  awful  moments,  did  my  heart  vibrate  to  such  sounds  as  rent 
the  air  when  the  fatal  "  Guilty  "  was  heard  by  those  within,  and  re- 
peated to  those  without.  It  was  not  grief — it  was  not  despair — 
neither  was  it  the  cry  of  sharp  and  irrepressible  anguish,  from  a 
suddenly  blighted  hope ;  but  it  was  the  long  pent-up  and  carefully 
concealed  burst  of  feeling  which  called  aloud  for  vengeance — red 
and  reeking  revenge  upon  all  who  had  been  instrumental  in  the  sen- 
tence then  delivered.  It  ceased,  and  I  looked  toward  the  court-house, 
expecting  that  an  immediate  and  desperate  attack  upon  the  building 
and  those  whom  it  contained  would  at  once  take  place.  But  noth- 
ing of  the  kind  ensued.  The  mob  were  already  beginning  to  dis- 
perse, and  before  I  recovered  perfectly  from  the  excitement  of  these 
few  and  terrible  moments,  the  square  was  nearly  empty,  and  I  al- 
most felt  as  if  the  wild  and  frantic  denunciation  that  still  rang 
through  my  ears  had  been  conjured  up  by  heated  and  fevered  imagi- 
nation. 

AVhen  I  again  met  our  party  at  the  dinner-table,  I  could  not  help 
feeling  surprised  on  perceiving  how  little  they  sympathized  hi  my 
feeling  for  the  events  of  the  day;  which,  indeed,  they  only  alluded 
to  in  a  professional  point  of  view,  criticising  the  speeches  of  the 
counsel  on  both  sides,  and  the  character  of  the  different  witnesses 
who  were  examined. 

"  Well,"  said  Mr.  Daly,  addressing  our  host,  "you  never  could 
have  had  a  conviction  to-day  if  it  wasn't  for  Mike.  He's  the  best 
evidence  I  ever  heard.  I'd  like  to  know  very  much  how  you  ever 
got  so  clever  a  fellow  completely  in  your  clutches?" 

"  By  a  mere  accident,  and  very  simply,"  replied  the  justice.  "  It 
was  upon  one  of  our  most  crowded  fair-days— half  the  county  was 
in  town — when  the  information  arrived  that  the  Walshes  were  mur- 
dered the  night  before,  at  the  cross-roads  above  Telenamuck  mills. 
The  news  reached  me  as  I  was  signing  some  tithe  warrants,  one  of 
which  was  against  Mickey.  I  sent  for  him  into  the  office,  knowing 


HARRY    LORREQUER,  153 

that,  as  lie  was  In  the  secret  of  all  the  evil  doings,  I  might  as  well 
pretend  to  dp  him  a  service,  and  offer  to  stop  the  warrant,  out  of 
kindness,  as  it  were.  Well,  one  way  or  another,  he  was  kept  wait- 
Ing  for  several  hours  while  I  was  engaged  in  writing,  and  all  the 
country  people,  as  they  passed  the  window,  could  look  hi  and  see 
Mickey  Sheehan  standing  before  me  while  I  was  employed  busily 
writing  letters.  It  was  just  at  this  lime  that  a  mounted  policeman 
rode  in  with  the  account  of  the  murder;  upon  which  I  immediately 
issued  a  warrant  to  arrest  the  two  MacNeils  and  Owen  Shirley  upon 
suspicion.  I  thought  I  saw  Mike  turn  pale,  as  I  said  the  names  over 
to  the  sergeant  of  police,  and  I  at  once  determined  to  turn  it  to  ac- 
count ;  so  I  immediately  began  talking  to  Mickey  about  his  own. 
affairs,  breaking  off,  every  now  and  then,  to  give  some  directions 
about  the  men  to  be  captured.  The  crowd  outside  was  increasing 
every  instant,  and  you  need  not  have  looked  at  their  faces  twice  to 
perceive  that  they  had  regarded  Mickey  as  an  approver;  and  the  same 
night  that  saw  the  MacNeils  in  custody  witnessed  the  burning  of 
Phehan's  house  and  haggard,  and  he  only  escaped  by  a  miracle  over 
to  Curryglass,  where,  once  under  my  protection,  with  the  imputation 
upon  his  character  of  having  turned  king's  evidence,  I  had  little  trou- 
ble in  persuading  him  that  he  might  as  well  benefit  by  the  report  as 
enjoy  the  name  without  the  gain.  He  soon  complied,  and  the  con- 
victions of  this  day  are  partly  the  result." 

When  the  applause  which  greeted  this  clever  stroke  of  our  host 
had  subsided,  I  inquired  what  results  might,  in  all  likelihood,  follow 
the  proceedings  of  which  I  had  that  day  been  a  witness? 

"Nothing  will  be  done  immediately,"  replied  the  justice,  "be- 
cause we  have  a  large  force  of  police  and  military  about  us;  but  let 
either,  or  unhappily  both  be  withdrawn,  and  the  cry  you  heard  given 
in  the  market-place  to-day  will  be  the  death-wail  for  more  than  one 
of  those  who  are  well  and  hearty  at  this  moment." 

The  train  of  thought  inevitably  forced  upon  me  by  all  I  had  been 
a  spectator  of  during  the  day  but  little  disposed  me  to  be  a  partaker 
in  the  mirth  and  conviviality,  which,  as  usual,  formed  the  staple  of 
the  assize  dinners  of  Mr.  Larkins ;  and  I  accordingly  took  an  early 
opportunity  to  quit  the  company  and  retire  for  the  night. 


CHAPTER  XXI. 

A   DAY    IN    DUBLIN. 

ON  the  third  day  of  my  residence  at  Curryglass,  arrived  my  friend, 
Mortimer,  to  replace  me,  bringing  my  leave  from  the  colonel,  and  a 
most  handsome  letter,  in  which  he  again  glanced  at  the  prospect  be- 
fore me  in  the  Callonby  family,  and  hinted  at  my  destination,  which 
I  had  not  alluded  to,  adding  that  if  I  made  the  pretense  of  study  hi 
Germany  the  reason  for  my  application  at  the  Horse  Guards,  I  should 
be  almost  certain  to  obtain  a  six  months'  leave.  With  what  spirits 
I  ordered  Stubbes  to  pack  up  my  portmanteau,  and  secure  our  places 
in  the  Dublin  mail  for  that  night,  while  I  myself  hurried  to  take 
leave  of  my  kind  entertainer  and  his  guests,  as  well  as  to  recommend 
to  their  favor  and  attention  my  excellent  friend  Mortimer,  who,  being 
a  jovial  fellow,  not  at  all  hi  love,  was  a  happy  exchange  for  me. 


154  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

who,  despite  Daly's  capital  stories,  had  spent  the  last  two  days  in 
watching  the  high-road  for  my  successor's  arrival. 

Once  more,  then,  I  bade  adieu  to  Curryglass  and  its  hospitable 
owner,  whose  labors  for  "  justice  to  Ireland  "  I  shall  long  remem- 
ber, and  depositing  myself  in  the  bowels  of  his  majesty's  mail,  gave 
way  to  the  full  current  of  my  hopes  and  imaginings,  which  at  last 
ended  in  a  sound  and  refreshing  sleep,  from  which  I  only  awoke  as 
we  drew  up  at  the  door  of  the  Hibernian  in  Dawson-street. 

Even  at  that  early  hour  there  was  considerable  bustle  and  activity 
of  preparation,  which  I  was  at  some  loss  to  account  for,  till  informed 
by  the  waiter  that  there  were  upward  of  three  hundred  strangers  in 
the  house,  it  being  the  day  of  his  majesty's  expected  arrival  on  his 
visit  to  Ireland,  and  a  very  considerable  section  of  the  county  Gal- 
way  being  at  that  moment,  with  their  wives  and  families,  installed, 
for  the  occasion,  in  this,  their  favorite  hotel. 

Although  I  had  been  reading  of  this  approaching  event  every  day 
for  the  last  three  months,  I  could  not  help  f eeling  surprised  at  the 
intense  appearance  of  excitement  it  occasioned,  and,  in  the  few  min- 
utes' conversation  I  held  with  the  waiter,  learned  the  total  impossi- 
bility of  procuring  a  lodging  anywhere,  and  that  I  could  not  have  a 
bed,  even  were  I  to  offer  nve  guineas  for  it.  Having  therefore  no 
inclination  to  sleep  even  upon  easier  terms,  I  ordered  my  breakfast 
to  be  ready  at  ten,  and  set  out  upon  a  stroll  through  the  town.  I 
could  not  help  in  my  short  ramble  through  the  streets,  perceiving 
how  admirably  adapted  were  the  worthy  Dublinites  for  all  the  hon- 
ors that  awaited  them ;  garlands  of  flowers,  transparencies,  flags,  and 
the  other  insignia  of  rejoicing,  were  everywhere  in  preparation,  and, 
at  the  end  of  Sackville-street,  a  considerable  erection,  very  much  re- 
sembling an  impromptu  gallows,  was  being  built,  for  the  purpose, 
as  I  afterward  learned,  of  giving  the  worshipful,  the  lord  mayor, 
the  opportunity  of  opening  the  city  gates  to  royalty,  creating  the 
obstacle  where  none  existed;  being  a  very  ingenious  conceit,  and 
considerable  Irish  into  the  bargain.  I  could  not  help  feeling  some 
desire  to  witness  how  all  should  go  off,  to  use  the  theatrical  phrase; 
but  in  my  anxiety  to  get  on  to  the  continent,  I  at  once  abandoned 
every  thought  of  delay.  When  I  returned  to  the  coffee-room  of  my 
hotel,  I  found  it  crowded  to  excess;  every  little  table,  originally  des- 
tined for  the  accommodation  of  one,  having  at  least  two,  and  some- 
times three  occupants.  In  my  hurried  glance  round  the  room,  to  de- 
cide where  I  should  place  myself,  I  was  considerably  struck  with  the 
appearance  of  a  stout  elderly  gentleman  with  red  whiskers,  and  a 
high  bald  forehead ;  he  had,  although  the  day  was  an  oppressively 
hot  one,  three  waistcoats  on,  and  by  the  brown  York  tan  of  his  long 
topped  boots,  evinced  a  very  considerable  contempt  either  for  weather 
or  fashion ;  in  the  quick  glance  of  his  sharp  gray  eye,  I  read  that  he 
listened  half  doubtingly  to  the  narrative  of  his  companion,  whose 
back  was  turned  toward  me,  but  who  appeared  from  the  occasional 
words  which  reached  me,  to  be  giving  a  rather  marvelous  and  melo- 
dramatic version  of  the  expected  pleasures  of  the  capital.  There  waa 
something  in  the  tone  of  the  speaker's  voice  that  I  thought  I  recog- 
nized; I  accordinglv  drew  near,  and  what  was  my  surprise  to  dis- 
cover my  friend  T*om  O'Flaherty.  After  our  first  salutation  was 
over,  Tom  presented  me  to  hi*  friend.  Mr.  Burke,  of  somewhere, 


HAKRY    LORREQUER.  155 

who,  he  continued  to  inform  me,  in  a  stage  whisper,  was  a  "  regular 
dust,"  and  never  in  Dublin  in  his  life  before. 

"And  so  you' say,  sir,  that  his  Majesty  cannot  enter  without  the 
permission  of  the  lord  mayor?" 

"  And  the  aldermen,  too,"  replied  Tom.  "It  is  an  old  feudal 
ceremony;  when  his  majesty  comes  up  to  the  gate,  he  demands  ad- 
mission, and  the  lord  mayor  refuses,  because  he  would  be  thus  sur- 
rendering his  great  prerogative  of  head  of  the  city;  then  the  alder- 
men get  about  him,  and  cajole  him,  and  by  degrees  he's  won  over  by 
the  promise  of  being  knighted,  and  the  king  gains  the  day,  and 
enters." 

"  Upon  my  conscience,  a  mighty  ridiculous  ceremony  it  is,  after 
all,"  said  Mr.  Burke,  "  and  very  like  a  bargain  for  sheep  in  Ballina- 
sloe  fair,  when  the  buyer  and  seller  appear  to  be  going  to  fight,  till 
a  mutual  friend  settles  the  bargain  between  them." 

At  this  moment  Mr.  Burke  suddenly  sprung  from  his  chair, 
•which  was  nearest  the  window,  to  look  out;  I  accordingly  followed 
his  example,  and  beheld  a  rather  ludicrous  procession,  if  such  it 
could  be  called,  consisting  of  so  few  persons.  The  principal  individual 
in  the  group  was  a  florid,  fat,  happy -looking  gentleman  of  about 
fifty,  with  a  profusion  of  nearly  white  whiskers,  which  met  at  his 
chin,  mounted  upon  a  sleek  charger,  whose  half-ambling,  half- 
prancing  pace  had  evidently  been  acquired  by  long  habit  of  going  in 
procession ;  this  august  figure  was  habited  in  a  scarlet  coat  and 
cocked  hat,  having  aiguillettes,  and  all  the  other  appanage  of  a  gen- 
eral officer;  he  also  wore  tight  buckskin  breeches  and  high  jack- 
boots, like  those  of  the  Blues  and  Horse  Guards;  as  he  looked  from 
side  to  side  with  a  self-satisfied,  contented  air,  he  appeared  quite  in- 
sensible of  the  cortege  which  followed  and  preceded  him ;  the  latter, 
consisting  of  some  score  of  half-ragged  boj's,  yelling  and  shouting 
with  all  their  might,  and  the  former  being  a  kind  of  installment  in 
hand  of  the  Dublin  Militia  Band,  and  who,  in  numbers  and  equip- 
ment, closely  resembled  the  ''  army  which  accompanies  the  first  ap- 
pearance of  Bombastes."  The  only  difference,  that  these  I  speak  of 
did  not  play  "  the  Rogue's  March,"  which  might  have  perhaps  ap- 
peared personal. 

As  this  goodly  procession  advanced,  Mr.  Burke's  eyes  beoame  riv- 
eted upon  it;  it  was  the  first  wonder  he  had  yet  beheld,  and  ho 
devoured  it.  "  May  I  ask,  sir,"  said  he  at  length:  "  who  that  is?" 

"  Who  that  is,"  said  Tom,  surveying  him  leisurely  as  he  spoke, 
"  why,  surely,  sir,  you  must  be  jesting,  or  you  would  not  ask  such  a 
question;  I  trust,  indeed,  every  one  knows  who  he  is.  Eh,  Harry?" 
said  he,  looking  at  me  for  a  confirmation  of  what  he  said,  and  to 
which  of  course  I  assented  by  a  look. 

"  Well,  but,  my  dear  Mr.  O 'Flaherty,  you  forget  how  ignorant  I 
am  of  everything  here " 

"  All,  true,"  said  Tom,  interrupting;  "I  forget  you  never  saw 
him  before." 

"  And  who  is  he,  sir?" 

"  Why,  that's  the  Duke  of  Wellington." 

"  Lord  have  mercy  upon  me,  is  it?"  said  Mr.  Burke,  as  he  upset 
the  table  and  all  its  breakfast  equipage,  and  rushed  through  the 
coffee-room  like  one  possessed.  Before  I  could  half  recover  from 


156  HARRY    LOHREQUER. 

the  fit  of  laughing  this  event  threw  me  into,  I  heard  him  as  he  ran  a\ 
full  speed  down  Dawson-streei,  waving  hi*  hat  and  shouting  out  at 
the  top  of  his  lungs,  "  God  bless  your  grace— Long  life  to  your  grace 
— Hurrah  for  the  hero  of  Waterloo;  the  great  captain  of  the  age, " 
&c.,  <fcc. ;  which,  I  grieve  to  say,  for  the  ingratitude  of  the  individual 
lauded,  seemed  not  to  afford  him  half  the  pleasure,  and  none  of  the 
amusement  it  did  the  moh,  who  re-echoed  the  shouts  and  cheering 
till  he  was  hid  within  the  precincts  of  the  Mansion  House. 

"  And  now,"  said  Tom  to  me,  "  finish  your  breakfast  as  i  >-t  as 
possible;  for,  when  Burke  comes  back  he  will  be  boring  me  tr  dine 
with  him,  or  some  such  thing,  as  a  kind  of  acknowledgment  of  bis 
gratitude  for  showing  hum  the  duke.  Do  you  know  he  has  seen 
more  wonders  through  my  poor  instrumentality,  within  the  last  three 
days  in  Dublin,  than  a  six  months'  trip  to  the  continent  would  show 
most  men.  I  have  made  him  believe  that  Burke  Bethel  is  Lord 
Brougham,  and  I  am  about  to  bring  him  to  a  soiree  at  Mi-Ladi's  whom 
he  supposes  to  be  the  Marchioness  of  Conyngham.  Apropos  to  the 
Belissima,  let  me  tell  you  of  a  '  good  hit  'I  was  witness  to  a  few 
nights  since;  you  know,  perhaps,  old  Sir  Charles  Giesecke,  eh?" 

"  1  have  seen  him  once,  1  think — the  professor  of  mineralogy. " 

"  Well,  poor  old  Sir  Charles,  one  of  the  most  modest  and  retiring 
men  in  existence,  was  standing  the  other  night  among  the  mob,  hi 
one  of  the  drawing-rooms,  while  a  waltzing-party  were  figuring 
away,  at  which,  with  that  fondness  for  '  la  danse '  that  characterizes 
every  German  of  any  age,  he  was  looking  with  much  interest,  when 
my  lady  came  tripping  up,  and  the  following  short  dialogue  ensued 
within  ear-shot: 

"  '  Ah,  mon  cher,  Sir  Charles,  ravi  de  vous  voir.  But  why  are 
you  not  dancing?' 

"  '  Ah,  mi  ladi,  je  ne  puis  pas,  c'est  &  dire,  Ich  kann  es  nicht;  I 
am  too  old ,  Ich  bin ' 

"  '  Oh,  you  horrid  man;  I  understand  you  perfectly.  You  hate 
ladies,  that  is  the  real  reason.  You  do — you  know  you  do. ' 

' '  Ah,  mi  ladi,  Gnadige  frau;  glauben  sie  mir;  1  do  loave  de  la- 
dies ;  I  do  adore  de  sex.  Do  you  know,  mi  ladi,  when  I  was  hi 
Greenland  1  did  keep  four  womans!5 

"  '  Oh,  shocking,  horrid,  vile  Sir  Charles,  how  could  you  tell  me 
such  a  story?  I  shall  die  of  it. ' 

'  'Ah,  mine  Gott;  mi  ladi;  sie  irren  sich,  vous  vous  trompez. 
You  are  quite  hi  mistake;  it  was  only  to  rmc  my  boat !' 

"  I  leave  ynu  to  guess  how  my  lady's  taste  for  the  broadside  of 
my  story,  and  poor  Sir  Charles's  vindication  of  himself,  in  regard  to 
his  estimation  of  '  le  beau  sexe/  armised  all  who  heard  it;" as  for 
me,  I  had  to  leave  the  room,  half  choked  with  suppressed  laughter. 
And  now  let  us  bolt,  for  I  see  Burke  coming,  and,  upon  my  soul ,  I  am 
tired  of  telling  him  lies,  and  must  rest  on  my  oars  for  a  few  hours, 
at  least." 

"But  where  is  the  necessity  for  so  doing?"  said  I;  "surely, 
where  there  is  so  much  novelty  as  a  large  city  presents  to  a  visitor, 
for  the  first  time,  there  is  little  occasion  to  draw  upon  imagination 
for  your  facts." 

"Ah,  my  dear  Harry,  how  little  do  you  know  of  life;  there  is  a 
Kind  of  maa  whose  appetite  for  the  marvelous  is  such  that  he  must 


SARRY    LORREQUER.  .      157 

be  cfiunmed  with  miracles  or  he  dies  of  inanition,  and  you  might  as 
well  attempt  to  feed  a  tiger  upon  pdte  de  fois  gras  as  satisfy  him  by 
mere  naked,  unvarnished  truth.  I'll  just  give  you  an  easy  illustra- 
tion; you  saw  his  delight  this  morning  when  the  '  duke  '  rode  past; 
well,  I'll  tell  you  the  converse  of  that  proposition  now.  The  night 
before  last,  having  nothing  better  to  do,  we  went  to  the  theater;  the 
piece  was  '  La  Perouse, '  which  they  have  been  playing  here  for  the 
last  two  months  to  crowded  houses,  to  exhibit  some  North  American 
Indians  whom  some  theatrical  speculator  brought  over  '  expres, '  in 
all  the  horrors  of  fur,  wampum  and  yellow  ocher.  Finding  the 
'  spectacle  '  rather  uninteresting,  I  leaned  back  in  my  box,  and  fell 
into  a  doze.  Meanwhile,  my  inquiring  friend,  Mr.  Burke,  who  felt 
naturally  anxious,  as  he  always  does,  to  get  au  fond  at  matters,  left 
his  place  to  obtain  information  about  the  piece,  the  author,  and 
above  all,  the  authenticity  of  the  Indians,  who  certainly  astonished 
him  considerably. 

"  Now  it  so  happened  that  about  a  fortnight  previously  some  vio- 
lent passion  to  return  home  to  their  own  country  had  seized  these  in- 
teresting individuals,  and  they  felt  the  most  irresistible  longing  to 
abandon  the  ^savage  and  unnatural  condiments  of  roast  beef  and 
Guinness's  porter,  and  resume  their  ancient  and  more  civilized  hab- 
its of  life.  In  fact,  like  the  old  African  lady,  mentioned  by  the  mis- 
sionary at  the  Cape,  they  felt  they  could  die  happy  if  they  '  could 
only  once  more  have  a  roast  child  for  supper,'  and  as  such  luxuries 
are  dear  in  this  country,  stay  another  week  they  would  not,  whatever 
the  consequences  might  be;  the  manager  reasoned,  begged,  implored 
and  threatened,  by  turns;  all  would  not  do,  go  they  were  deter- 
mined, and  all  the  unfortunate  proprietor  could  accomplish  was,  to 
make  a  purchase  of  their  properties  in  fur,  belts,  bows,  arrows,  and 
feathers,  and  get  them  away  quietly,  without  the  public  being  the 
wiser.  The  piece  was  too  profitable  a  one  to  abandon,  so  he  looked 
about  anxiously,  to  supply  the  deficiency  hi  his  corps  dramatique. 
For  several  days  nothing  presented  itself  to  his  thoughts,  and  the 
public  were  becoming  more  clamorous  for  the  repetition  of  a  drama 
which  had  greatly  delighted  them.  "What  was  to  be  done?  In  a 
mood  of  doubt  and  uncertainty  the  wretched  manager  was  taking 
his  accustomed  walk  upon  the  light-house  pier,  while  a  number  of 
unfortunate  country  fellows,  bare  legged  and  lanky,  with  hay  ropes 
fastening  their  old  gray  coats  around  them,  were  standing  beside  a 
packet,  about  to  take  their  departure  for  England  for  the  harvest. 
Their  uncouth  appearance,  their  wild  looks,  their  violent  gestures, 
and,  above  all,  their  strange  and  guttural  language,  for  they  were  all 
speaking  Irish,  attracted  the  attention  of  the  manager;  the  effect  to 
his  professional  eye  was  good,  the  thought  struck  him  at  once. 
Here  were  the  very  fellows  he  wanted.  It  was  scarcely  necessary  to 
alter  anything  about  them,  they  were  ready  made  to  his  hand,  and 
in  many  respects  better  savages  than  their  prototypes.  Through  the 
mediation  of  some  whisky,  the  appropriate  liquor  in  all  treaties  of 
this  nature,  a  bargain  was  readily  struck,  and  in  two  hours  more 
'  Hi. -so  forty  thieves  '  were  rehearsing  upon  the  classic  boards  of  our 
theater,  and  once  more  La  Perouse,  in  all  the  glory  of  red  capital 
letters,  shone  forth  in  the  morning  advertisements.  The  run  of  the 
piece  continued  unabated;  the  Indians  were  the  rage;  nothing  elef 


158  HAKilY    LOKItEQUEB. 

was  thought  or  spoken  of  in  Dublin,  and  already  the  benefit  W 
Ashewaballagh  Ho  was  announced,  who,  by  the  by,  was  a  little  fel- 
low from  Martin's  estate  in  Connernara,  and  one  of  the  drollest 
doges  I  ever  heard  of.  Well,  it  so  happened  that  it  was  upon  one  of 
their  nights  of  performing  that  I  found  myself,  with  Mr.  Burke,  a 
spectator  of  their  proceedings.  I  had  fallen  into  an  easy  slumber, 
when  a  dreadful  row  in  the  box  lobby  roused  me  from  my  dream, 
and  the  loud  cry  of  'turn  him  out,'  'pitch  him  over,'  '  beat  his 
brains  out,'  and  other  humane  proposals  of  the  like  nature,  effect- 
ually restored  me  to  consciousness ;  I  rushed  out  of  the  box  into  the 
lobby,  and  there,  to  my  astonishment,  in  the  midst  of  a  considerable 
crowd,  beheld  my  friend  Mr.  Burke,  belaboring  the  box-keeper  with 
all  his  might  with  a  cotton  umbrella  of  rather  unpleasant  propor- 
tions, accompanying  each  blow  with  an  exclamation  of  '  Well,  are 
they  Connaughtmen,  now,  you  rascal,  eh?  Are  they  all  west  of 
Athlone;  tell  me  that,  now?  I  wonder  what's  preventing  me  beating 
the  soul  of  ye. '  After  obtaining  a  short  cessation  of  hostilities,  and 
restoring  poor  Sharkey  to  his  legs,  much  more  dead  than  alive  from 
pure  fright,  I  learned,  at  last,  the  teterrima  caiisa  belli.  Mr.  Burke, 
it  seems,  had  entered  into  conversation  with  Sharkey,  the  box-keeper, 
»s  to  all  the  particulars  of  the  theater,  and  the  present  piece,  but  es- 
pecially as  to  the  real  and  authentic  history  of  the  Indians,  whose 
language,  he  remarked,  in  many  respects  to  resemble  Irish.  Poor 
Sharkey,  whose  benefit-night  was  approaching,  thought  he  might  se- 
cure a  friend  for  life,  by  imparting  to  him  an  important  stage  secret; 
and  when,  therefore,  pressed  rather  closely  as  to  the  '  savages' 
whereabouts, '  resolved  to  try  a  bold  stroke,  and  trust  his  unknown  in- 
terrogator. '  And  so  you  don't  really  know  where  they  come  from, 
nor  can't  guess?'  'Maybe,  Peru,'  said  Mr.  Burke,  innocently. 
'  Try  again,  sir, '  said  Sharkey,  with  a  knowing  grin.  '  Is  it  Behr- 
ing  Straits!'  said  Mr.  Burke.  'What  do  you  think  of  Galway, 
sir!"  said  Sharkey,  with  a  leer  intended  to  cement  a  friendship  for 
life.  The  words  were  no  sooner  out  of  his  lips  than  Burke,  who 
immediately  took  them  as  a  piece  of  direct  insolence  to  himself  and 
his  county,  felled  him  to  the  earth,  and  was  in  the  act  of  continu- 
ing the  discipline  when  I  arrived  on  the  field  of  battle." 

CHAPTER  XXTT. 

A    NIGHT    AT    HOWTH. 

"  AND  must  you  really  leave  us  so  soon,"  said  Tom,  as  we  issued 
forth  into  the  street;  "why  I  was  just  planning  a  whole  week's 
adventure  for  you.  Town  is  so  full  of  all  kinds  of  idle  people,  I 
think  I  could  manage  to  make  your  time  pass  pleasantly  enough." 

"  Of  that,"  I  replied,  "  I  have  little  doubt;  but  for  the  reasons  I 
have  just  mentioned,  it  is  absolutely  necessary  that  I  should  not  lose 
a  moment;  and  after  arranging  a  few  things  here,  I  shall  start  to- 
morrow by  the  earliest  packet,  and  hasten  up  to  London  at  once." 

"By  Jupiter,"  said  Tom,  "how  lucky.  I  just  remember  some- 
filing,  which  comes  admirably  apropos.  You  are  going  to  Paris- 
Is  it  not  so?" 

"Yes,  direct  to  Paris." 


HARRY    LORREQUEK.  159 

44  Nothing  could  be  better.  There  is  a  particularly  nice  person  a 
great  friend  of  mine,  Mrs.  Bingham,  waiitng  for  several  days  in 
hopes  of  a  chaperon  to  take  care  of  herself  and  daughter — a  lovelv 
girl,  only  nineteen,  you  wretch — to  London,  en  route  to  the  Conti- 
nent; the  mamma  a  delightful  woman  and  a  widow,  with  a  very  sat- 
isfactory jointure — you  understand — but  the  daughter,  a  regular 
downright  beauty,  and  a  ward  in  chancery,  with  how  many  thou- 
sand pounds,  I  am  afraid  to  trust  myself  to  say.  You  must  know, 

then,  they  are  the  Binghams  of ,  upon  my  soul,  I  forget  where; 

but  highly  respectable." 

"  I  regret  1  have  not  the  pleasure  of  their  acquaintance,  and  the 
more  because  1  shall  not  be  able  to  make  it  now." 

"  As  why?"  said  Tom,  gravely. 

"  Because,  in  the  first  place,  I  am  so  confoundedly  pressed  for 
time  that  I  could  not  possibly  delay  under  any  contingency  that 
might  arise ;  and  vour  fair  friends  are,  doubtless,  not  so  eagerly  de- 
termined on  traveling  night  and  day  till  they  reach  Paris.  Secondly, 
to  speak  candidly,  with  my  present  hopes  and  fears  weighing  upon 
my  mind,  I  should  not  be  the  most  agreeable  traveling  companion  to 
two  ladies  with  such  pretensions  as  you  speak  of;  and  thirdly ' 

"  Confound  your  thirdly.  I  suppose  we  shall  have  sixteenthly, 
like  a  Presbyterian  minister's  sermon,  if  I  let  you  go  on.  Why, 
they'll  not  delay  you  one  hour.  Mrs.  Bingham,  man,  cares  as  little 
for  the  road,  as  yourself;  and  as  for  your  petits  soins,  I  suppose  if 
you  get  the  fair  ladies  through  the  custom-house,  and  see  them  safe 
in  a  London  hotel,  it  is  all  that  will  be  reqxiired  at  your  hand." 

"  Notwithstanding  all  you  say,  I  see  the  downright  impossibility 
of  my  taking  such  a  charge  at  this  moment,  when  my  own  affairs 
require  all  the  little  attention  I  can  bestow ;  and  when,  were  I  once 
involved  with  your  fair  friends,  it  might  be  completely  out  of  my 
power  to  prosecute  my  own  plan*." 

As  I  said  this,  we  reached  the  door  of  a  handsome-looking  house 
in  Kildare  Street :  upon  which  Tom  left  my  arm,  and  informing  me 
that  he  desired  to  drop  a  card,  knocked  loudly. 

"  Is  Mrs.  Bingham  at  home?"  said  he,  as  the  servant  opened  the 
door. 

"  Xo  sir,  she's  out  in  the  carriage." 

"  Well,  you  see,  Harry,  your  ill-luck  befriends  you;  for  I  was  re- 
solved in  presenting  you  to  my  friends  and  leaving  the  rest  to  its 
merits." 

"  I  can  safely  assure  you  that  I  should  not  have  gone  up-stairs," 
said  I.  "  Little  as  I  know  of  myself,  there  is  one  point  of  my  char- 
acter I  have  never  been  deceived  in,  the  fatal  facility  by  which  every 
new  incident  or  adventure  can  turn  me  from  following  up  my  best 
matured  and  longest  digested  plans;  and  as  I  feel  this  weakness, 
and  cannot  correct  it,  the  next  best  thing  I  can  do  is  to  fly  the 
causes." 

"  Upon  my  soul,"  said  Tom,  "  you  have  become  quite  a  philoso- 
pher since  we  met.  There  is  an  old  adage  which  says,  '  no  king  ia 
ever  thoroughly  gracious  if  lie  has  not  passed  a  year  or  two  in  de- 
thronement,' so  I  believe  your  regular  lady-killer,  yourself  for  in- 
stance, becomes  a  very  quiet  animal  for  being  occasionally  jilted. 
But  now,  as  you  have  some  commissions  to  do,  pray  get  done  witlj 


160  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

them  as  fast  as  possible,  and  let  us  meet  at  dinner.     Where  do  you 
dine  to-day?" 

"  Why,  upon  that  point,  I  am  at  your  service,  completely." 
"  Well,  then,  I  have  got  a  plan  which  I  think  will  suit  you.  You 
said  you  wished  to  go  by  Hplyhead,  for  fear  of  delay,  so,  we'll  drive 
down  at  six  o'clock  to  Skinner's  and  dine  with  him  on  board  the 
packet  at  Howth.  Bring  your  luggage  with  you  and  it  will  save  you 
a  vast  deal  of  fuss  and  trouble  in  the  morning." 

Kothing  could  be  better  management  for  me  than  this,  so  I  ac- 
cordingly promised  acquiescence;  and  having  appointed  a  rendezvous 
for  six  o'clock,  bade  O'Flaherty  good-by,  inwardly  rejoiced  that  my 
plans  were  so  far  forwarded,  and  that  I  was  not  to  be  embarrassed 
with  either  Mrs.  Bingham  or  her  daughter,  for  whose  acquaintance 
or  society  I  had  no  peculiar  ambition. 

My  commissions,  though  not  very  numerous,  occupied  the  few 
hours  which  remained,  and  it  was  already  a  few  minutes  past  six 
o'clock  when  I  took  my  stand  under  the  piazza  of  the  post-office  to 
wait  for  O'Flaherty.  I  had  not  long  to  do  so,  for  immediately  after 
I  reached  the  spot,  he  arrived  in  an  open  barouche  and  four  posters, 
with  three  other  young  men  to  whom  he  severally  introduced  me, 
but  whose  names  I  have  totally  forgotten;  I  only  remember  that 
two  of  the  party  were  military  men  then  quartered  m  town. 

When  I  had  taken  my  seat,  I  could  not  help  whispering  to  Tom, 
that  although  his  friend  Skinner  might  be  "  bon  "  for  a  visitation 
for  two  at  dinner,  yet  as  we  were  now  so  strong  a  party,  it  might  be 
as  well  to  dine  at  the  hotel. 

"  Oh,"  said  he,  "I  have  arranged  all  that;  I  have  sent  him  a 
special  messseuger  two  hours  since,  and  so  make  your  mind  easy — 
we  shall  not  be  disappointed,  nor  be  short-taken." 

Our  drive,  although  a  long  one,  passed  quickly  over,  and  before 
we  had  reached  our  destination,  I  had  become  tolerably  intimate 
with  all  the  party,  who  were  evidently  picked  men,  selected  by 
O'Flaherty  for  a  pleasant  evening. 

We  drove  along  the  pier  to  the  wharf,  where  the  steamer  lay,  and 
were  received  at  once  by  Tom's  friend  with  all  the  warm  welcome 
and  hospitality  of  a  sailor,  united  with  the  address  and  polish  of  a 
very  finished  gentleman.  As  we  descended  the  companion-ladder  to 
the  cabin,  my  mind  became  speedily  divested  of  any  fears  I  might 
have  indulged  in,  as  to  the  want  of  preparation  of  "our  entertainer. 
The  table  was  covered  with  all  the  appanage  of  handsome  plate  and 
cut  glass,  while  tl.e  side-tables  glittered  with  a  magnificent  dessert, 
and  two  large  wine-coolers  presented  an  array  of  champagne  necks 
shining  with  their  leaden  cravats  that  would  have  tempted  an  an- 
chorite. 

I  remember  very  little  else  of  that  evening  than  the  coup  d'ceil  I 
have  mentioned:  besides,  were  my  memory  more  retentive,  I  might 
scruple  to  -trespass  further  on  my  reader's  patience  by  the  detaif  of 
those  pleasures,  which  like  love-letters,  however  agreeable  to  the 
parties  immediately  concerned,  are  very  unedifying  to  all  others. 
I  do  remember,  certainly,  that  good  stories  and*  capital  songs  suc- 
ceeded each  other  with  a  rapidity  only  to  be  equaled  by  the  pop- 
ping of  corks;  and  have  also  a  very  vague  and  indistinct  recollec- 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  161 

tion  of  a  dance  round  the  table,  evidently  to  finish  a  chorus,  but 
which,  it  appears,  finished  me,  too,  for  I  saw  no  more  that  night. 

How  many  men  have  commemorated  the  waking  sensation  of 
their  fellow-men,  after  a  night's  debauch;  yet  at  the  same  time,  I 
am  not  aware  of  any  one  having  perfectly  conveyed  even  a  passing 
likeness  to  the  mingled  throng  of  sensations  which  crowd  one's  brain 
on  such  an  occasion.  The  doubt  of  what  has  passed,  by  degrees 
yielding  to  the  half -consciousness  of  the  truth,  the  feeling  of  shame, 
inseparable  except  to  the  habitually  hard-goer,  for  the  events  thus 
dimly  pictured,  the  racking  headache  and  intense  thirst  with  the  hor- 
ror of  the  potation  recently  indulged  in;  the  recurring  sense  of  the 
fun  or  drollery  of  a  story  or  an  incident  which  provokes  us  again  to 
laugh  despite  the  jarring  of  our  brain  from  the  shaking.  All  this 
and  more  most  men  have  felt,  and  happy  are  they  when  their  wak- 
ing thoughts  are  limited  to  such,  at  such  times  as  these — the  matter 
becomes  considerably  worse,  when  the  following  morning  calls  for 
some  considerable  exertion,  for  which,  even  in  your  best  and  calmest 
moments,  you  only  find  yourself  equal'. 

It  is  truly  unpleasant,  on  rubbing  your  eyes  and  opening  your 
ears,  to  discover  that  the  great  bell  is  ringing  the  half  hour  before 
your  quarterly  examination  at  college,  while  Locke,  Lloyd,  and 
Lucian  are  dancing  a  reel  through  your  brain,  little  short  of  mad- 
ness ;  scarcely  less  agreeable  is  it,  to  learn  that  your  friend  Captain 
Wildfire  is  at  the  door  in  his  cab,  to  accompany  you  to  the  Phenix, 
to  stand  within  twelve  paces  of  a  cool  gentleman  who  has  been  sit- 
ting with  his  arm  in  Eau  de  Cologne  for  the  last  half  hour  that  he 
may  pick  you  out  "  artist-like."  There  are,  besides  these,  innumera- 
ble situations  in  which  our  preparations  of  the  night  would  appear 
as  none  of  the  wisest ;  but  I  prefer  going  at  once  to  my  own,  which, 
although  considerably  inferior  in  difficulty,  was  not  without  its  own 
"  desagrements." 

When  I  awoke,  therefore,  on  board  the  "  Fire-fly,"  the  morning 
after  our  dinner-party,  I  was  perfectly  unable,  by  any  mental  proc- 
ess within  my  reach,  to  discover  where  I  was.  On  ship-board  I  felt 
I  must  be — the  narrow  berth — the  gilded  and  paneled  cabin  which, 
met  my  eye,  through  my  half-open  curtains,  and  that  peculiar  swell- 
ing motion  inseparable  from  a  vessel  in  the  water,  all  satisfied  me  of 
this  fact.  I  looked  about  me,  but  could  see  no  one  to  give  me  the 
least  idea  of  my  position.  Could  it  be  that  we  were  on  our  way  out 
to  Corfu,  and  that  I  had  been  ill  for  some  time  past? 

But  this  cabin  had  little  resemblance  to  a  transport;  perhaps  it 
might  be  a  frigate.  I  knew  not.  Then,  again,  were  we  sailing  or 
at  anchor?  for  the  chip  was  nearly  motionless.  At  this  instant  a 
tremendous  noise  like  thunder  crashed  through  my  head,  and  for  a 
moment  I  expected  we  had  exploded,  and  would  all  be  blown  up; 
but  an  instant  after  I  discovered  it  must  be  the  escape  of  the  steam, 
and  that  I  was  on  board  a  packet  ship.  Here,  then,  was  some  clew 
to  my  situation,  and  one  which  would  probably  have  elicited  all  ta 
due  season ;  but  just  at  this  moment  a  voice  on  deck  saved  me  from 
any  further  calculations.  Two  persons  were  conversing  whose 
voices  were  not  altogether  unknown  to  me,  but  why  I  knew  not. 

"  Then,  captain,  I  suppose  you  consider  this  an  excellent  passage?" 

"  Yes,  of  course  I  do,"  replied  the  captain;  "  it's  only  five  hourg 


163  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

since  we  left  Howth,  and  now  you  see  we  are  nearly  in.  If  we 
have  the  run  of  the  tide,  we  shall  reach  the  head  before  twelve 
o'clock." 

"Ha!  ha!"  said  I  to  myself,  "  now  I  begin  to  learn  something. 
So  we  have  crossed  the  channel  while  I  was  sleeping — not  the  least 
agreeable  thing  for  a  man  to  hear  who  suffers  martyrdom  from  sea- 
sickness. But  let  me  listen  again." 

"  And  that  large  mountain  there — is  that  Snowden?" 

"  No.  You  cannot  see  Snowden;  there  is  too  much  mist  about 
it;  that  mountain  is  Capel  Craig;  and  there  that  bold  bluff  to  the 
eastward,  that  is  Penmen  Mawr." 

"  Come,  there  is  no  time  to  be  lost,"  thought  I;  so  springing  out 
of  my  berth  aecoutered  as  I  was,  in  merely  trousers  and  slippers, 
with  a  red  handkerchief,  fastened  night-cap  fashion  round  my  head, 
I  took  my  way  through  the  cabin. 

My  first  thought  on  getting  upon  my  legs  was  how  tremendously 
the  vessel  pitched,  which  I  had  not  remarked  while  in  my  berth,  but 
now  I  could  scarcely  keep  myself  from  falling  at  every  step.  I  was 
just  about  to  call  the  steward,  when  I  again  heard  the  voices  on  deck. 

"  You  have  but  few  passengers  this  trip." 

**"  I  think  only  yourself  and  a  Captain  Lorrequer,"  replied  the  cap- 
tain, "  who,  by  the  by,  is  losing  all  this  fine  coast,  which  is  certainly 
a  great  pity." 

"  He  shall  not  do  so  much  longer,"  thought  I;  "  for  as  I  find  that 
there  are  no  other  passengers,  I'll  make  my  toilet  on  deck,  and  enjoy 
the  view  besides."  With  this  determination  1  ascended  slowly  and 
cautiously  the  companion  ladder,  and  stepped  out  upon  the  deck; 
but  scarcely  had  I  done  so,  when  a  roar  of  the  loudest  laughter  made 
me  turn  my  head  toward  the  poop,  and  there,  to  my  horror  of  hor- 
rors, I  beheld  Tom  O 'Flaherty  seated  between  two  ladies,  whose 
most  vociferous  mirth  I  soon  perceived  was  elicited  at  my  expense. 

All  the  party  of  the  preceding  night  were  also  there,  and  as  I 
turned  from  their  grinning  faces  to  the  land,  I  saw  to  my  shame  and 
confusion,  that  we  were  still  lying  beside  the  pier  at  Howth ;  while 
the  band-boxes,  trunks,  and  imperials  of  new  arrivals  were  inces- 
santly pouring  in,  as  traveling  carriages  kept  driving  up  to  the  place 
of  embarkation.  I  stood  perfectly  astounded  and  bewildered — shame 
for  my  ridiculous  costume  would  have  made  me  fly  at  any  other 
time — but  there  I  remained  to  be  laughed  at  patiently,  while  that 
villain  O 'Flaherty,  leading  me  passively  forward,  introduced  me  to 
his  friends — "  Mrs.  Bingham,  Mr.  Lorrequer;  Mr.  Lorrequer,  Miss 
Bingham.  Don't  be  prepossessed  against  him,  ladies,  for  when  not 
in  lore,  and  properly  dressed,  he  is  a  marvelously  well -looking  young 
gentleman;  and  as " 

What  the  remainder  of  the  sentence  might  be,  I  knew  not,  for  I 
rushed  down  into  the  cabin,  and  locking  the  door,  never  opened  it 
until  I  could  perceive  from  the  stern  windows  that  we  were  really  off 
on  our  way  to  England,  and  recognized  once  more  the  laughing 
face  of  O 'Flaherty,  who,  as  he  waved  his  hat  to  his  friends  from  the 
pier,  reminded  them  that  "  they  were  under  the  care  and  protection 
of  his  friend  Lorrequer,  who,  he  trusted,  would  condescend  to  uv 
cre*»e  his  wearing  apparel  under  the  circumstances." 


HAEEY    LOKBEQUIfU  163 


CHAPTER  XXIH. 

THE  JOURNEY. 

WHEK  I  did  at  last  venture  upon  deck,  it  was  with  a  costume 
studiously  accurate,  and  as  much  of  manner  as  I  could  possibly  mus- 
ter, to  endeavor  at  once  to  erase  the  unfortunate  impression  of  my 
first  appearance;  this,  however,  was  not  destined  to  be  a  perfectly 
successful  maneuver,  and  I  was  obliged  after  a  few  minutes  to  join 
the  laugh,  which  I  found  could  not  be  repressed,  at  my  expense. 
One  good  result  certainly  followed  from  all  this.  I  became  almost 
immediatelv  on  intimate  terms  with  Mrs.  Bingham  and  her  daugh- 
ter, and  much  of  the  awkwardness  in  my  position  as  their  chaperon, 
which  bon-yre  mal-gre  I  was  destined  to  be,  was  at  once  got  over.  Mrs. 
Bingham  herself  was  of  that  "  genre  "  of  widow,  which  comes  under 
the  "  fat,  fair,  and  forty  "  category,  with  a  never-ceasing  flow  of 
high,  almost  boisterous,  spirits — an  excellent  temper,  good  health — 
and  a  well-stocked  purse.  Life  to  her  was  like  a  game  of  her 
favorite  "  speculation."  When  as  she  believed  the  "  company  hon- 
est," and  knew  her  cards  trumps,  she  was  tolerably  easy  for  the 
result.  She  liked  Kingstown — she  liked  short  whist — she  liked  the 
military — she  liked  the  "junior  bar,"  of  which  she  knew  a  good 
number — she  had  a  well-furnished  house  in  Kildare-street — and  a 
well-cushioned  pew  in  St.  Anne's;  she  was  a  favorite  at  the  castle — 
and  Dr.  Labatt  "  knew  her  constitution."  Why,  with  all  these  ad- 
vantages, she  should  ever  have  thought  of  leaving  the  "happy 
valley  "  of  her  native  city,  it  was  somewhat  hard  to  guess.  Was  it 
that  thoughts  of  matrimony,  which  the  continent  held  out  more  pros- 
pect for,  had  invaded  the  fair  widow's  heart?  Was  it  that  the  altered 
condition  to  which  politics  had  greatly  reduced  Dublin  had  effected 
this  change  of  opinion?  or  was  it  like  that  indescribable  longing  for 
the  unknown  something,  which  we  read  of  in  the  pathetic  history 
of  the  fair  lady  celebrated,  I  believe,  by  Petrarch,  but  1  quote  from 
memory: 

"  Mrs.  Gill  is  very  ill, 

Nothing  can  improve  her, 
But  to  see  the  Tuillerie, 

And  waddle  through  the  Louvre." 

None  of  these,  I  believe,  however  good  and  valid  reasons  in  them- 
selves, were  the  moving  powers  upon  the  present  occasion;  the  all- 
suflicient  one  being  that  Mrs.  Bingham  had  a  daughter.  Now  Miss 
Bingham  was  Dublin,  too — but  Dublin  of  a  later  edition — and  a  finer, 
more  hot-pressed  copy  than  her  mamma.  She  had  been  educated  at 
Mrs.  Somebody's  seminary,  in  Mount  joy-square — had  been  taught 
to  dance  by  Montagu — and  had  learned  French  from  a  Swiss  gov- 
erness— with  a  number  of  similar  advantages — a  very  pretty  figure — 
dark  eyes — long  eye-lashes  and  a  dimple — and  last,  but  of  course 
least,  the  deserved  reputation  of  a  large  fortune.  She  had  made  a 
most  successful  debut  in  the  Dublin  world,  where  she  was  much  ad- 
mired and  nattered,  and  which  soon  suggested  to  her  quick  mind,  as 


164  HARKY    LOKKEQUER. 

It  lias  often  done  in  similar  cases  to  a  young  provincial  debutante,  not 
to  waste  her  "  fraicheur  "  upon  the  minor  theaters,  but  at  once  to 
appear  upon  the  "  great  boards;"  so  far  evidencing  a  higher  flight  of 
imagination  and  enterprise,  than  is  usually  found  among  the  clique 
of  her  early  associates,  who  may  be  characterized  as  that  school  of 
young  ladies  who  like  the  "  Corsair  "  and  Dunleary,  and  say,  "  Ah, 
don't!" 

She  possessed  much  more  common  sense  than  her  mamma,  and 
promised,  under  proper  advantages,  to  become  speedily  quite  suffi- 
ciently acquainted  with  the  world  and  its  habitudes.  In  the  mean- 
while, I  perceived  that  she  ran  a  very  considerable  risk  of  being  car- 
ried off  by  some  mustached  Pole,  with  a  name  like  a  sneeze,  who 
might  pretend  to  enjoy  the  entree  into  the  fashionable  circles  of  the 
continent. 

Very  little  study  of  my  two  fair  friends  enabled  me  to  see  thus 
much;  and  very  little  "  usage  "  sufficed  to  render  me  speedily  in- 
timate with  both;  the  easy  bonhomie  of  the  marnma,  who  had  a  very 
methodistical  appreciation  of  what  the  "  connection  "  call  "  creature 
comforts,"  amused  me  much,  and  opened  one  ready  path  to  her  good 
graces  by  the  opportunity  afforded  of  getting  up  a  luncheon  of  veal 
cutlets  and  London  porter,  of  which  I  partook,  not  a  little  to  the  loss 
of  the  fair  daughter's  esteem. 

While,  therefore,  I  made  the  tour  of  the  steward's  cell  in  search 
of  Harvey's  sauce,  I  brushed  up  my  memory  of  the  Corsair  and 
Childe  Harold,  and  alternately  discussed  Stilton  and  Southey,  Lover 
and  lobsters,  Haynes  Bayley  and  ham. 

The  day  happened  to  be  particularly  calm  and  delightful,  so  that 
we  never  left  the  deck ;  and  the  six  hours  which  brought  us  from 
land  to  land  quickly  passed  over  in  this  manner;  and  ere  we  reached 
"  the  Head  "  I  had  become  the  warm  friend  and  legal  adviser  of  the 
mother;  and  with  the  daughter  I  was  installed  as  chief  confidant  of 
all  her  griefs  and  sorrows,  both  of  which  appointments  cost  me  a 
solemn  promise  to  take  care  of  them  till  their  arrival  in  Paris,  where 
they  had  many  friends  and  acquaintances  awaiting  them.  Here, 
then,  as  usual,  was  the  invincible  facility  with  which  I  gave  myself 
up  to  any  one  who  took  the  trouble  to  influence  me.  One  thing, 
nevertheless,  1  was  determined  on — to  let  no. circumstance  defer  my 
arrival  at  Paris  a  day  later  than  was  possible ;  therefore,  though  my 
office  as  chaperon  might  diminish  my  comforts  en  route,  it  should 
not  interfere  with  the  object  before  me.  Had  my  mind  not  been  so 
completely  engaged  with  my  own  immediate  prospects,  when  hope, 
suddenly  and  unexpectedly  revived,  had  become  so  tinged  with  fears 
and  doubts  as  to  be  almost  torture,  I  must  have  been  much  amused 
with  my  present  position,  as  I  found  myself  seated  with  my  two 
friends,  rolling  along  through  Wales  in  their  comfortable  traveling 
carriage — giving  all  the  orders  at  the  different  hotels — seeing  after 
the  luggage — and  acting  en  maitre  in  every  respect. 

The  good  widow  enjoyed  particularly  the  difficulty  which  my  pre- 
cise position,  with  regard  to  her  and  her  daughter,  threw  the  differ- 
ent innkeepers  on  the  road  into,  sometimes  supposing  me  to  be  her 
husband,  sometimes  her  son,  and  once  her  son-in-law ;  which  very 
alarming  conjecture  brought  a  crimson  tinge  to  the  fair  daughter's 


HARRY    LORREQTJER.  165 

cheek,  fin  expression,  which,  in  my  ignorance,  I  thought  looked  very 
like  an  inclination  to  faint  in  my  arms. 

At  length  we  reached  London,  and  having  been  there  safely  in- 
stalled at  "  Mivart's,"  I  sallied  forth  to  present  my  letter  to  the  Horse 
Guards,  and  obtain  our  passport  for  the  continent. 

'"  Number  nine,  Poland-street,  sir,"  said  the  waiter,  as  I  inquired 
the  address  of  the  French  consul.  Having  discovered  that  my  in- 
terview with  the  commander-in-chief  was  appointed  for  four  o'clock, 
I  determined  to  lose  no  time,  but  make  every  possible  arrangement 
for  leaving  London  in  the  morning. 

A  cab  quietly  conveyed  me  to  the  door  of  the  cons\il,  around  which 
stood  several  other  vehicles,  of  every  shape  and  fashion,  while  in  the 
doorway  were  to  be  seen  numbers  of  people,  thronging  and  pressing, 
like  the  Opera  pit  on  a  full  night.  Into  the  midst  of  this  assemblage 
I  soon  thrust  myself,  and,  borne  upon  the  current,  at  length  reached 
a  small  back  parlor,  filled  also  with  people ;  a  door  opening  into  an- 
other small  room  in  the  front,  showed  a  similar  mob  there,  with  the 
addition  of  a  small  elderly  man,  in  a  bag  wig  and  spectacles,  very 
much  begrimed  with  snuff,  and  speaking  in  a  very  choleric  tone  to 
the  various"  applicants  for  passports,  who,  totally  ignorant  of  French, 
insisted  upon  interlarding  their  demands  with  an  occasional  stray 
phrase,  making  a  kind  of  tessellated  pavement  of  tongues,  which 
would  have  shamed  Babel.  Nearest  to  the  table  at  which  the  func- 
tionary sat,  stood  a  mustached  gentleman,  in  a  blue  frock  and 
white  trousers,  a  white  hat  jauntily  set  upon  one  side  of  his  head, 
and  primrose  gloves.  He  cast  a  momentary  glance  of  a  very  under- 
valuing import  upon  the  crowd  around  him,  and  then,  turning  to 
the  consul,  said,  in  a  very  soprano  tone: 

"Passport,  monsieur!" 

'"  Que  voulez  vous  que  je  fasse,"  replied  the  old  Frenchman, 
gruffly. 

"  Je  suis  j'ai — that  is,  donnez  moi  passport." 

"  Where  do  you  go?"  replied  the  consul. 

"Calai." 

"  Comment  diable,  speak  Inglis,  and  I  understan  you  as  besset. 
Your  name?" 

"  Lorraine  Snaggs,  gentilhomme. " 

"  What  age  have  you? — how  old?" 

"Twenty-two." 

"  C'est  ca,"  said  the  old  consul,  flinging  the  passport  across  the 
table,  with  the  air  of  a  man  who  thoroughly  comprehended  the  ap- 
plicant's pretension  to  the  designation  of  gentilhomme  Anglais. 

As  I  followed  the  worthy  representative  of  Seven-dials  with 
my  eye,  another  person  had  neared  the  table.  She  was  a  rather  pretty 
young  woman,  with  blue  eyes,  and  brown  hair  braided  quietly  on 
her  forehead,  and  wearing  a  plain  close  bonnet  of  a  very  coquettish 
appearance. 

"Will  you  be  seated,  ma'mselle?"  said  the  polite  old  French- 
man,  who  had  hitherto  been  more  like  a  bear  than  a  human  being. 
"  Oft  allez  vous  done;  where  to,  ma  chfire?" 

"  To  Paris,  sir." 

"  By  Calais?" 

"  No,  sir,  by  Boulogne " 


166  HARKY    LORREQUER. 

'  O'est  bon;  quel  fige  avez  vous?    What  old,  ma  belle?" 
'  Nineteen,  sir,  in  June." 
'  And  are  you  alone,  quite,  eh?" 
'  No,  sir,  my  little  girl." 
'  Ah!  your  leetle  girl — c'est  fort  bien— ,ie  m'ape^ois;  and  your 
name?" 

'  Fanny  Lin  wood,  sir." 

'C'est  flni,  ma  chere,  Mademoiselle  Fanni  Linwood,"  said  the 
old  man  as  he  wrote  down  the  name. 

"  Oh,  sir,  I  beg  your  pardon,  but  you  have  put  me  down  Made- 
moiselle; and — and — you  see,  sir,  1  have  my  little  girl." 

"  A  c'est  egal,  ma'mselle,  they  don't  mind  these  things  in  France 
— au  plaisir  de  vous  voir.  Adieu." 

"  They  don't  mind  these  things  in  France,"  said  I  to  myself,  re- 
peating the  old  consul's  phrase,  which  I  could  not  help  feeling  as 
a  whole  chapter  on  his  nation. 

My  business  was  soon  settled,  for  I  spoke  nothing  but  English — 
veiy  little  knowledge  of  the  world  teaching  me  that  when  we  have 
any  favor,  however  slight,  to  ask,  it  is  always  good  policy  to  make 
the  amende  by  gratifying  the  amour  propre  of  the  granter — if,  hap- 
pily, there  be  an  opportunity  for  so  doing. 

When  I  returned  to  Mivart's,  I  found  a  written  answer  to  my  let- 
ter of  the  morning,  stating  that  his  lordship  of  the  Horse  Guards 
was  leaving  town  that  afternoon,  but  would  notMelay  my  departure 
for  the  Continent,  to  visit  which  a  four  months'  leave  was  granted 
me,  with  a  recommendation  to  study  at  Weimar. 

The  next  day  brought  us  to  Dover,  in  time  to  stroll  about  the  cliffs, 
during  the  evening,  when  I  again  talked  sentiment  with  the  daughter 
till  very  late.  The  madame  herself  was  too  tired  to  come  out,  so 
that  we  had  our  walk  quite  alone.  It  is  strange  enough  how  quickly 
this  traveling  together  has  shaken  us  into  intimacy.  Isabella  say_s 
ehe  feels  as  if  I  were  her  brother;  and  I  begin  to  think  myself  she  is 
not  exactly  like  a  sister.  She  has  a  marvelously  pretty  foot  and 
ankle. 

The  climbing  of  cliffs  is  a  very  dangerous  pastime.  How  true  the 
French  adage  —  "  C'est  plus  facile  de  gliaser  sur^  la  gazon  que  sur  la, 
glace."  But  still  nothing  can  come  of  it;  for  if  Lady  Jane  be  not 
false,  I  must  consider  myself  an  engaged  man. 

"Well,  but  I  hope,"  said  I,  rousing  myself  from  a  reverie  of 
some  minutes,  and  inadvertently  pressing  the  arm  which  leaned  upon 
me —  "  your  mamma  will  not  be  alarmed  at  our  long  absence?" 

"  Oh,  not  in  the  least,  for  she  knows  I'm  with  you." 

And  here  I  felt  a  return  of  the  pressure — perhaps  also  inadvertently 
given,  but  which,  whether  or  not,  effectually  set  all  my  reasonings 
and  calculations  astray;  and  we  returned  to  the  hotel,  silent  on  both 
sides. 

The  appearance  of  la  che"re  mamma,  beside  the  hissing  tea-urn, 
brought  us  both  back  to  ourselves,  and,  after  an  hour's  chatting,  we 
wished  good-night,  to  start  on  the  morrow  for  the  Continent. 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  167 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

CALAIS. 

IT  was  upon  a  lovely  evening  in  autumn,  as  the  Dover  steamboat 
rounded  the  wooden  pier  at  Calais,  amid  a  fleet  of  small  boats  filled 
with  eager  and  anxious  faces,  soliciting,  in  every  species  of  bad 
English  and  "patois"  French,  the  attention  and  patronage  of  the 
passengers. 

"  Hotel  de  Bain,  milor'." 

"Hotel  d'Angleterre,"  said  another,  in  a  voice  of  the  most  im- 
posing superiority.  "  C'est  superbe — pretty  well." 

"  Hotel  du  Nord,  votre  Excellence — remise  de  poste  and  '  delays' 
(quere  relays)  at  all  hoxirs. ' ' 

"  Commissionnaire,  miladi,"  sung  out  a  small  strill  treble  from  the 
midst  of  a  crowded  cock-boat,  nearly  swamped  beneath  our  paddle- 
wheel. 

What  a  scene  of  bustle,  confusion,  and  excitement  does  the  deck 
of  a  steamer  present  upon  such  an  occasion.  Every  one  is  running 
hither  or  thither.  "  Sauve  qui  peut  "  is  now  the  watchword ;  and 
friendships,  that  promised  a  life-long  endurance  only  half  an 
hour  ago,  find  here  a  speedy  dissolution.  The  lady  who  slept 
all  night  upon  deck,  enveloped  in  the  folds  of  your  Astracan 
cloak,  scarcely  deigns  an  acknowledgment  of  you,  as  she  ad- 
justs her  ringlets  before  the  looking-glass  over  the  stove  in  the  cabin. 
The  polite  gentleman,  that  would  have  flown  for  a  reticule  or  a 
smelling-bottle  upon  the  high  seas,  won't  leave  his  luggage  in  the 
harbor;  and  the  gallantry  and  devotion  that  stood  the  test  of  half  a 
gale  of  wind  and  a  wet  jacket,  is  not  proof  when  the  safety  of  a 
carpet-bag  or  the  security  of  a  "  Mackintosh  "  is  concerned. 

And  thus  here,  as  elsewhere,  is  prosperity  the  touchstone  of  good 
feeling.  All  the  various  disguises  which  have  been  assumed  per 
viaggio,  are  here  immediately  abandoned,  and,  stripped  of  the  travel- 
ing costume  of  urbanity  and  courtesy,  which  they  put  on  for  the  voy- 
age, they  stand  forth  in  all  the  unblushing  front  of  selfishness  and 
self-interest. 

Some  tender  scenes  yet  find  their  place  amid  the  debris  of  this 
chaotic  state.  Here  may  be  seen  a  careful  mother  adjusting  innu- 
merable shawls  and  handkerchiefs  round  the  throat  of  a  sea-green 
young  lady  with  a  cough ;  her  maid  is  at  the  same  instant  taking  a 
tender  farewell  of  the  steward  in  the  after-cabin. 

Here  is  a  very  red- faced  and  hot  individual,  with  punch-colored 
breeches  and  gaiters,  disputing  "  one  brandy  too  much  "  in  his  bill, 
and  vowing  that  the  company  shall  hear  of  it  when  he  returns  to 
England.  There,  a  tall,  elderly  woman,  with  a  Scotch-gray  eye,  and 
a  sharp  cheek-bone,  is  depositing  within  her  muff  various  seizable 
articles,  that,  until  now  had  been  lying  quietly  in  her  trunk. 
Yonder,  that  raw-looking  young  gentleman,  with  the  crumpled 
frock-coat,  and  loose  cravat,  and  sea-sick  visage,  is  asking  every 
one,  "  if  they  think  he  may  land  without  a  passport."  You  scarcely 


1G8  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

recognize  him  for  the  cigar-smoking  dandy  of  yesterday,  that  talked 
as  if  he  had  lived  half  his  life  on  the  Continent.  While  there,  a  rather 
pretty  girl  is  looking  intently  at  some  object  in  the  blue  water,  beside 
the  rudder  post,  louare  surprised  you  cannot  make  it  out;  but 
then,  she  has  the  advantage  of  you,  for  the  tall,  well-looking  man, 
with  the  knowing  whiskers,  is  evidently  whispering  something  into 
her  ear. 

'  Steward,  this  is  not  my  trunk — mine  was  a  leather " 

'  All  the  '  leathers '  are  gone  in  the  first  boat,  sir." 

'  Most  scandalous  way  of  doing  business." 

'  Trouble  you  for  two-and  sixpence,  sir." 

'  There's  Matilda  coughing  again,"  says  a  thin,  shrewish  woman, 
with  a  kind  of  triumphant  scowl  at  her  better  half;  "  but  you  teovM 
have  her  wear  that  thin  shawl !: ' 

"  Whatever  may  be  the  fault  of  the  shawl,  I  fancy  no  one  will  re- 
proach her  ankles  for  thinness,"  murmurs  a  young  Guardsman,  as 
he  peeps  up  the  companion-ladder. 

Amid  all  the  Babel  of  tongues  and  uproar  of  voices,  the  thorough 
bass  of  the  escape  steam  keeps  up  its  infernal  thunders,  till  the  very 
brain  reels,  and,  sick  as  you  have  been,  of  the  voyage,  you  half  wish 
yourself  once  more  at  sea,  if  only  to  have  a  moment  of  peace  and 
tranquillity. 

Numbers  now  throng  the  deck  who  have  never  made  their  ap- 
pearance before.  Pale,  jaundiced,  and  crumpled,  they  have  all  the 
sea-sick  look  and  haggard  cheek  of  the  real  martyr — all  except  one, 
a  stout,  swarthy,  brown-visaged  man  of  about  forty,  with  a  frame  of 
iron,  and  a  voice  like  the  fourth  string  of  a  violoncello.  You  wonder 
why  he  should  have  taken  to  his  bed:  learn,  then,  that  he  is  his 
Majesty's  courier  from  the  foreign  office,  going  with  dispatches  to 
Constantinople;  and  that,  as  he  is  not  destined  to  lie  down  in  a  bed 
for  the  next  fourteen  days,  he  is  glad  even  of  the  narrow  resemblance 
to  one  he  finds  in  the  berth  of  a  steamboat.  At  length  you  are  on 
shore,  and  marched  off  in  a  long  string,  like  a  gang  of  convicts  to 
the  Bureau  de  1'octroi,  and  here  is  begun  an  examination  of  the  lug- 
gage, which  promises,  from  its  minuteness,  to  last  for  the  three 
months  you  destined  to  spend  in  Switzerland.  At  the  end  of  an  hour 
you  discover  that  the  soidisnni  commissionnaire  will  transact  all  this 
affair  for  a  few  francs;  and,  after  a  tiresome  wait  in  a  filthy  room, 
jostled,  elbowed,  and  trampled  upon,  by  boors  with  sabots,  you  ad- 
journ to  your  inn,  and  begin  to  feel  that  you  are  not  in  England. 

Our  little  party  had  but  few  of  the  miseries  here  recounted  to  con- 
tend with.  My  "  savoir  faire,"  with  all  modesty  be  it  spoken,  has 
been  long  schooled  hi  the  art  and  practice  of  traveling:  and  while 
our  less  experienced  fellow-travelers  were  deep  in  the  novel  mysteries 
of  cotton  stockings  and  petticoats,  most  ostentatiously  displayed  upon 
every  table  of  the  Bureau,  we  were  comfortably  seated  in  the  hand- 
some saloon  of  the  Hotel  du  Nord,  looking  out  upon  a  pretty  grass 
plot  surrounded  with  orange  trees,  and  displaying  in  the  middle  a 
jet  d'eau  about  the  size  of  a  walking-stick. 

"  Now,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  Mrs.  Bingham,  as  she  seated  herself 
by  the  open  window  ' '  never  forget  how  totally  dependent  we  are 
upon  your  kind  offices.  Isabella  has  discovered  already  that  the 
French  of  Mountjoy-square,  however  intelligible  in  that  neighbor 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  169 

,  and  even  as  far  as  Mount-street,  is  Coptic  and  Sanscrit  here; 
and  as  for  myself,  I  intend  to  affect  deaf  and  dumbness  till  I  reach. 
Paris,  where  I  hear  every  one  can  speak  English  a  little." 

"Now,  then,  to  begin  my  functions,"  said  I,  as  I  rung  for  the 
waiter,  and  ran  over  in  my  mind  rapidly  how  many  invaluable  hints 
for  ray  new  position  my  present  trip  might  afford  me,  "  always  pro- 
vided'0 Cas  the  lawyers  say),  that  Lady  Jane  Callonby  might  feel  her- 
self tempted  to  become  my  traveling  companion,  in  which  case 

But,  confound  it,  how  I  am  castle-building  again.  Meanwhile,  Mrs. 
Bingham  is  looking  as  hungry  and  famished  as  though  she  would 
eat  the  waiter.  "Ha!  this  is  the  '  carte.'  ' 

'  Allons  faire  petit  souper." 

'  Cotelletes  d'agneau." 

'  Maionnaise  d'homard." 

'  Perdreaux  rouges  aux  truffes— mark  that,  aux  truffes." 

'  Gelee  au  maraschin. " 

'  And  the  wine,  sir,"  said  the  waiter,  with  a  look  of  approval  at 
my  selection,  "  Champagne— no  other  wine,  sir?" 

"  No,"  said  I,  "  Champagne  only;  frappe  de  glace,  of  course,"  I 
added,  and  the  waiter  departed  with  a  bow  that  would  have  graced 
St.  James's. 

As  long  as  our  immaterial  and  better  part  shall  be  doomed  to  keep 
company  with  its  fleshy  tabernacle,  with  all  its  attendant  miseries  of 
gout  and  indigestion,  how  much  of  our  enjoyment  in  this  world  is 
dependent  upon  the  mere  accessory  circumstances  by  which  the 
business  of  life  is  carried  on  and  maintained,  and  to  despise  which 
is  neither  good  policy  nor  sound  philosophy.  In  this  conclusion  a 
somewhat  long  experience  of  the  life  of  a  traveler  has  fully  estab- 
lished me.  And  nowhere  does  it  press  more  forcibly  upon  the  mind 
than  when  first  arrived  in  a  continental  inn,  after  leaving  the  best 
hotels  in  England  still  fresh  in  your  memory.  I  do  not  for  a  moment 
dispute  the  very  great  superiority  in  comfort  of  the  latter,  by  which 
I  would  be  understood  to  mean  all  those  resemblances  to  one's  own 
home  which  an  English  hotel  so  eminently  possesses,  and  every  other 
one  so  markedly  wants,  but  I  mean  that  in  contrivances  to  elevate 
the  spirit,  cheer  the  jaded  and  tried  wayfarer  by  objects  which,  how- 
ever they  may  appeal  to  tho  mere  senses,  seem,  at  least,  but  little 
•ensual,  give  me  a  foreign  inn ;  let  me  have  a  large  spacious  saloon, 
with  its  lofty  walls  and  its  airy,  large  paned  windows  (1  shall  not 
object  if  the  cornices  and  moldings  be  gilded,  because  such  is  usually 
the  case) — let  the  sun  and  heat  of  a  summer's  d&y  come  tempered 
through  the  deep  lattices  of  a  well-fitting  '  ja.ousie,"  bearing  upon 
them  the  rich  incense  of  a  fragrant  ora  ge  tree  in  blossom — and  the 
sparkling  drops  of  a  neighboring  fountain,  the  gentle  plash  of  which 
is  faintly  audible  amid  the  hum  of  a  drone-bee — let  such  be  the 
"  agremens  "  without— while  within,  let  the  more  substantial  joys 
of  the  table  await,  in  such  guise  as  only  a  French  cuisine  can  present 
them — give  me  these,  I  say,  and  I  shall  never  sigh  for  the  far-famed 
and  long  deplored  comforts  of  a  box  in  a  coffee-room,  like  a  pew  hi  a 
parish  church,  though  certainly  not  so  well  cushioned,  and  fully  as 
dull,  with  a  hot  waiter  and  a  cold  beefsteak — the  only  thing  higher 
than  your  game  being  your  bill,  and  the  only  thing  less  drinkable 
than  your  port  being  the  porter. 


170  HARRY    LORREQTJER. 

With  such  exotic  notions,  figurez  rous,  my  dear  reader,  whether  o* 
not  I  felt  happy  as  I  found  myself  seated  between  my  two  fan* 
friends  doing  the  honors  of  a  little  supper,  and  assisting  the  exhilar- 
ation of  our  champagne  by  such  efforts  of  wit  as,  under  favortxe  cir- 
cumstances like  these,  are  ever  successful — and  which,  being  like 
the  foaming  liquid  which  washes  them  down,  to  be  swallowed  with- 
out waiting,  are  ever  esteemed  good,  from  the  excitement  that  results, 
and  never  seriously  canvassed  for  any  more  sterling  merit.  Nothing 
ever  makes  a  man  so  agreeable  as  a  belief  that  he  is  so :  and  certainly 
my  fair  companions  appeared  to  have  the  most  excellent  idea  of  my 
powers  in  that  respect;  and  I  fancy  that  I  made  more  ban  mots,  hit 
off  more  epigrams  and  invented  more  choice  incidents  on  that  happy 
evening,  than,  if  now  remembered,  would  suffice  to  pay  my  tailor's 
bill,  when  collated  for  Bentley's  Miscellany,  and  illustrated  by  Cruik- 
shank.  Alas!  that,  like  the  good  liquor  that  seasoned  them, 'both  are 

tone  by,  and  I  am  left  but  to  chronicle  the  memory  of  the  fun  in 
ullness,  and  counterfeit  the  effervescence  of  the  grape  jui'ce,  by 
soda-water.  One  thing,  however,  is  certain — we  formed  a  most 
agreeable  party;  and  if  a  feeling  of  gloom  ever  momentarily  shot 
through  my  m'ind,  it  was,  that  evenings  like  these  came  so  rarely  in 
this  work-a-day  world — that  each  such  should  be  looked  on  as  our 
last. 

"  If  I  had  not  already  shown  myself  up  to  my  reader  as  a  gargon 
volage  of  the  first  water,  perhaps  I  should  now  hesitate  about  confess- 
ing that  1  half  regretted  the  short  space  during  which  it  should  be 
my  privilege  to  act  as  the  guide  and  mentor  of  my  two  friends.  The 
impetuous  haste  which  I  before  felt  necessary  to  exercise  in  reaching 
Paris  immediately,  was  now  tempted  by  prudent  thoughts  about 
traveling  at  night,  and  reflections  about  sun-'stroke  by  day;  and  even 
moments  most  devoted  to  the  object  of  my  heart's  aspirations  were 
fettered  by  the  very  philosophic  idea,  that  it  could  never  detract  from 
the  pleasure  of  the  happiness  that  awaited  me,  if  I  traveled  on  the 
primrose  path  to  its  attainment.  I  argued  thus :  if  Lady  Jane  be 
true — if — if,  in  a  word,  I  am  destined  to  have  any  success  in  the  Cal- 
lonby  family,  then  will  a  day  or  two  more  not  risk  it.  My  present 
friends  I  shall,  of  course,  take  leave  of  at  Paris,  where  their  own 
acquaintances  await  them ;  and  on  the  other  hand,  should  I  be  doomed 
once  more  to  disappointment,  I  am  equally  certain  I  should  feel  no 
disposition  to  form  a  new  attachment.  Thus  did  I  reason,  and  thus 
I  believed ;  and  though  I  was  a  kind  of  consultation  opinion  among 
my  friends  in  "  suits  of  love,"  I  was  really  then  unaware  that  at  no 
time  is  a  man  so  prone  to  fall  in  love,  as  immediately  after  his  being 
jilted.  If  common  sense  will  teach  us  not  to  dance  a  bolero  upon  a 
sprained  ankle,  so  might  it  also  convey  an  equally  important  lesson, 
not  to  expose  our  more  vital  inflammatory  organ  to  the  fire  the  day 
after  its  being  singed. 

Reflections  like  these  did  not  occur  to  me  at  this  moment;  besides 
that,  I  was  "  going  the  pace  "  with  a  forty-horse  power  of  agree- 
ability  that  left  me  little  time  for  thought— least  of  all,  if  serious.  So 
stood  matters.  I  had  just  filled  our  tall  slender  glasses  with  the 
creaming  and  "  petillan  "  source  of  wit  and  inspiration,  when  the 
loud  crack,  crack,  crack  of  a  postilion's  whip,  accompanied  by  the 
shaking  trot  of  a  heavy  team,  and  the  roll  of  wheels,  announced  a 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  171 

new  arrival.  "  Here  they  come,"  said  I;  "  only  look  at  them — four 
horses  and  one  postilion,  all  apparently  straggling  and  straying  after 
their  own  fancy,  but  yet  going  surprisingly  straight,  notwithstand- 
ing. See  how  they  come  through  that  narrow  archway— it  might 
puzzle  the  best  four-in-hand  in  England  to  do  it  better."" 

' '  What  a  handsome  young  man,  if  he  had  not  those  odious  mus- 
taches. Why,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  he  knows  you  :  see  he  is  bowing  to 
you." 

"Me?  Oh!  no.  Why,  surely,  it  must  be— the  devil— it  is  Killcce, 
Lady  Jane's  brother.  I  know  his  temper  well.  One  five  minutes' 
observation  of  my  present  intimacy  with  my  fair  friends,  and  adieu 
to  all  hopes  for  me  of  calling  Lord  Callonby  my  father-in-law. 
There  is  not,  therefore,  a  moment  to  lose." 

As  these  thoughts  revolved  through  my  mind,  the  confusion  I  felt 
had  covered  my  face  with  scarlet;  and  with  a  species  of  blundering 
apology  for  abruptly  leaving  them  for  a  moment,  I  ran  down  stairs 
only  in  time  sufficient  to  anticipate  Kilkee's  questions  as  to  the  num- 
ber of  my  apartments,  to  which  he  was  desirous  of  proceeding  at 
once.  Our  first  greetings  over,  Kilkee  questioned  me  as  to  my  route 
— adding,  that  his  now  was  necessarily  an  undecided  one,  for  if  his 
family  happened  not  to  be  at  Paris,  he  should  be  obliged  to  seek 
after  them  among  the  German  watering-places.  "  In  any  case,  Mr. 
Lorrequer,"  said  he,  "  we  shall  hunt  them  in  couples.  I  must  insist 
upon  your  coming  along  with  me." 

"Oh!  that,"  said  I,  "  you  must  not  think  of.  Your  carriage  is  a 
coupe,  and  I  cannot  think  of  crowding  you." 

"  Why,  you  don't  seriously  want  to  affront  me,  I  hope;  for  I  flat- 
ter myself  that  a  more  perfect  carriage  for  two  people  cannot  be 
built.  Hobson  made  it  on  a  plan  of  my  own,  and  I  am  excessively 
proud  of  it,  I  assure  you.  Come,  that  matter  is  decided — now  for 
supper.  Are  there  many  English  here  just  now?  By-the-bye,  those 
new  '  natives  '  I  think  I  saw  you  standing  with  on  the  balcony— who 
are  they?" 

"Oh!  the  ladies— oh!  yes,  people  I  came  over  with " 

"One  was  pretty.  ]  fancied.  Have  you  supped?  Just  order 
something,  will  you— meanwhile,  I  shall  write  a  few  lines  before  the 
post  leaves."  Saying  which  he  dashed  up  stairs  after  the  waiter, 
and  left  me  to  my  meditations. 

"  This  begins  to  be  pleasant,"  thought  T,  as  the  door  closed,  leav- 
ing me  alone  in  the  "  saloon."  In  circumstances  of  such  moment, 
I  had  never  felt  so  nonplussed  as  now,  how  to  decline  Kilkee's  invi- 
tation, without  discovering  my  intimacy  with  the  Binghams—  and 
yet  I  could  not,  by  any  possibility,  desert  them  thus  abruptly.  Such 
was  the  dilemma.  "I  see  but  one  thing  for  it,"  said  I,  gloomily,  as 
I  strode  through  the  coffee-room,  with  my  head  sunk  and  my  hands 
behind  my  back — "  1  see  but  one  thing  left — I  must  be  taken  ill  to- 
night, and  not  be  able  to  leave  my  bed  in  the  morning — a  fever — a 
contagious  fever— blue  and  red  spots  all  over  me— and  be  raving 
wildly  before  breakfast  time;  and  if  ever  any  discovery  takes  place 
of  my  intimacy  above  stairs,  I  must  only  establish  it  as  a  premoni- 
tory symptom  of  insanity,  which  seized  me  in  the  packet.  And  now 
for  a  doctor  that  will  understand  my  case,  and  listen  to  reason,  «u 
they  would  call  it  in  Ireland."  With  this  idea  uppermost,  I  walked 


J72  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

Dut  into  the  court-yard  to  look  for  a  commissioimaire  to  guide  me  ia 
my  search.  Around  on  every  .«ide  of  me  stood  the.  various  carriages 
&nd  voitures  of  the  hotel  and  its  inmates,  to  the  full  as  distinctive 
and  peculiar  in  character  as  their  owners.  "  Ah !  there  is  Kilkee's," 
said  I,  as  my  eye  lighted  upon  the  well-balanced  and  elegant  little  car- 
riage which  he  had  been  only  with  justice  encomiumizing.  "  It  is 
certainly  perfect,  and  yet  I'd  give  a  handful  of  louis-d'ors  if  it  was 
like  that  venerable  cabriolet  yonder,  with  the  one  wheel  and  no 
shafts.  But,  alas!  those  springs  give  little  hope  of  a  break-down, 
and  that  confounded  axle  will  outlive  the  patentee.  But  still,  can 
nothing  be  done?— eh?  Come,  the  thought  is  a  good  one— I  say, 
gay  garcon,  who  greases  the  wheels  of  the  carriages  here?" 

'"  C'est  moi,  monsieur,"  said  a  great  oaf,  in  wooden  shoes  and  a 
blouse. 

"  Well,  then,  do  you  understand  these?"  said  I,  touching  the 
patent  axle-boxes  with  my  cane. 

He  shook  his  head. 

"  Tnen  who  does,  here?" 

"  Ah!  Michael  understands  them  perfectly." 

"  Then  bring  him  here,"  said  I. 

In  a  few  minutes,  a  little,  shrewd  old  fellow,  with  a  smith's  apron, 
made  his  appearance,  and  introduced  himself  as  M.  Michael.  I  had 
not  much  difficulty  in  making  him  master  of  my  plan,  which  was, 
to  detach  one  of  the  wheels,  as  if  for  the  purpose  of  oiling  the  axle, 
and  afterward  render  it  incapable  of  being  replaced — at  least  for 
twenty-four  hours. 

"  This  is  my  idea,"  said  I;  "  nevetherless,  do  not  be  influenced  by 
me.  All  I  ask  is,  disable  the  carriage  from  proceedings  to-morrow, 
and  here  are  three  louis-d'ors  at  your  service." 

"  Sovez  bien  tranquille,  monsieur,  mi  lor  shall  spend  to-morrow, 
in  Calais,  if  I  know  anything  of  my  art;"  saying  which  he  set  out  in 
search  of  his  tools,  while  I  returned  to  the  saloon  with  my  mind 
relieved,  and  fully  prepared  to  press  the  urgency  of  my  reaching  Paria 
without  any  delay. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  Kilkee,  as  I  entered,  "  here  is  supper 
waiting,  and  I  am  as  hungry  as  a  wolf." 

"Oh!  I  beg  pardon— I've  been  getting  everything  in  readiness 
for  our  start  to  morrow  morning,  for  I  have  not  told  you  how  anx- 
ious I  am  to  get  to  Paris  before  the  8th — some  family  business  which 
requires  my  looking  after,  compelling  me  to  do  so. 

' '  As  to  that,  let  your  mind  be  at  rest,  for  I  shall  travel  to-morrow 
night,  if  you  prefer  it.  Now  for  the  Volnay.  Why,  you  are  not 
drinking  your  wine.  What  do  you  say  to  our  paying  our  respects  to 
the  fair  ladies  above  stairs?  I  am  sure  the  petits  soins  you  have  prac- 
ticed coming  over  would  permit  the  liberty. ' ' 

"  Oh!  hang  it,  no.  There's  neither  of  them  pretty,  and  I  should 
rather  avoid  the  risk  of  making  a  regular  acquaintance  with  them," 
said  I. 

"  As  you  like,  then — only,  as  you'll  not  take  any  wine,  let  us  have 
a  stroll  through  the  town." 

After  a  short  stroll  through  the  town,  in  which  Kilkee  talked  the 
entire  time,  but  of  what  I  know  not,  my  thoughts  being  upon  my 
own  immediate  concerns,  we  returned  to  the  hotel.  As  we  entered 


HAKEY    LORREQUER.  178 

the  porte  coch&re,  my  friend  Michael  passed  me,  and  as  he  took 
off  his  hat  in  salutation,  gave  me  one  rapid  glance  of  his  knowing 
eye,  that  completely  satisfied  me  that  Hobson's  pride  in  my  friend's 
carriage  had  by  that  time  received  quite  sufficient  provocation  to 
throw  him  into  an  apoplexy. 

"  By-the-byc,"  said  I,  "  let  us  see  your  carriage.  I  am  curious  to 
look  at  it  " — (and  so  I  was). 

"  Well,  then,  come  along,  this  way;  they  have  placed  it  under 
some  of  the  sheds,  which  they  think  coach-houses." 

I  followed  my  friend  through  the  court  till  we  arrived  near  the 
fatal  spot ;  but  before  reaching,  he  had  caught  a  glimpse  of  the  mis- 
chief, and  shouted  out  a  most  awful  imprecation  upon  the  author  of 
the  deed  which  met  his  eye.  The  fore- wheel  of  the  coupe  had  been 
taken  from  the  axle,  and  in  the  difficulty  of  so  doing,  from  the  ex- 
cellence of  the  workmanship,  two  of  the  spokes  were  broken— the 
patent  box  was  a  mass  of  bent  metal,  and  the  end  of  the  axle  turned 
downward  like  a  hoe. 

I  cannot  convey  any  idea  of  poor  Kilkee's  distraction;  and,  in 
reality,  my  own  was  little  short  of  it ;  for  the  wretch  had  so  far  out- 
stripped my  orders,  that  I  became  horrified  at  the  cruel  destruction  be- 
fore me.  We  both,  therefore,  stormed  in  the  most  impossible  English 
and  French,  first  separately  and  then  together.  We  offered  a  reward 
for  the  apprehension  of  the  culprit,  whom  no  one  appeared  to  know, 
although,  as  it  happened,  eveiy  one  in  a  large  household  was  aware 
of  the  transaction  but  the  proprietor  himself.  We  abused  all— the 
innkeeper,  waiters,  hostlers  and  chambermaids,  collectively  and  indi- 
vidually—condemned Calais  as  a  den  of  iniquity,  and  branded  all 
Frenchmen  as  rogues  and  vagabonds.  This  seemed  to  alleviate  con- 
siderably my  friend's  grief,  and  excite  my  thirst — fortunately,  per- 
haps, for  us ;  for  if  our  eloquence  had  held  out  much  longer,  I  am 
afraid  our  auditory  might  have  lost  their  patience ;  and,  indeed,  I  am 
quite  certain  if  our  French  had  not  been  in  nearly  as  disjointed  a 
condition  as  the  spokes  of  the  caUcJie,  such  must  have  been  the  case. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  suppose,  then,  we  are  not  destined  to  be 
fellow-travelers — for  if  you  must  go  to-morrow " 

"  Alas!  it  is  imperative,"  said  I. 

"  Then,  in  any  case,  let  us  arrange  where  we  shall  meet,  for  I 
hope  to  be  in  Paris  the  day  after  you." 

"I'll  stop  at  Meurice. "" 

"  Meurice  be  it,"  said  he,  "  so  now  good- night,  till  we  meet  in 
Paris." 


CHAPTER  XXV. 

THE    GENDAKME. 

I  HAD,  fortunately,  sufficient  influence  upon  my  fair  friends  to 
persuade  them  to  leave  Calais  early  on  the  morning  following:  andl 
two  hours  before  Kilkee  had  opened  his  eyes  upon  this  mortal  life, 
we  were  far  upon  the  road  to  Paris. 

Having  thus  far  perfectly  succeeded  in  my  plot,  my  spirit  rose 
rapidly,  and  I  made  everv  exertion  lo  make  the  road  appear  short  to 
my  fellow-travelers.  This  part  of  France  la  unfortunately  deficient 


174:  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

in  any  interest  from  scenery;  large  undivided  tracts  of  waving 
corn-fields,  with  a  back-ground  of  apparently  interminable  forests, 
and  occasionally,  but  rarely,  the  glimpse  of  some  o]d  time-worn 
chateau,  with  is  pointed  gable  and  terraced  walk,  are  nearly  all  that 
the  eye  can  detect  in  the  intervals  between  the  small  towns  and  vil- 
lages. Nothing,  however,  is  "flat  or  unprofitable"  to  those  who 
desire  to  make  it  otherwise;  good  health,  good  spirits,  and  fine 
weather,  are  wonderful  traveling  companions,  and  render  one  toler- 
ably independent  of  the  charms  of  scenery.  Every  mile  that  sepa- 
rated me  from  Calais,  and  took  away  the  chance  of  being  overtaken, 
added  to  my  gayety,  and  I  flatter  myself  that  a  happier  party  have 
rarely  traveled  that  well  frequented  road. 

We  reached  Abbeville  to  dinner,  and  adjourned  to  the  beautiful 
little  garden  of  the  inn  for  our  coffee;  the  evening  was  so  delightful 
that  I  proposed  to  walk  on  the  Paris  road,  until  the  coining  up^bf  the 
carriage,  which  required  a  screw,  or  a  washer,  or  some  such  trifle  as 
always  occurs  in  French  posting.  To  this  la  chere  mamma  objected, 
she  being  tired,  but  added,  that  Isabella  and  I  might  go  on,  and  that 
Bhe  would  take  us  up  in  half  an  hour.  This  was  an  arrangement  so 
very  agreeable  and  unlocked  for  by  me,  that  I  pressed  Miss  Binghnm 
as  far  as  I  well  could,  and  at  last  succeeded  in  overcoming  her  scru- 
ples, and  permitting  me  to  shawl  her.  One  has  always  a  tremendous 
power  of  argument  with  the  uninitiated  abroad,  by  a  reference  to  a 
standard  of  manners  and  habits  totally  different  from  our  own. 
Thus  the  talismanic  words — "Oh!  don't  be  shocked;  remember  you 
are  in  France,"  did  more  to  satisfy  my  young  friend's  mind  than  all 
I  could  have  said  for  an  hour.  Little  did  she  know  that  in  England 
only  has  an  unmarried  young  lady  any  liberty,  and  that  the  stand- 
ard of  foreign  propriety  on  this  head  is  far,  very  far,  more  rigid 
than  our  own." 

"  La  premiere  rue  3,  gauche,"  said  an  old  man,  of  whom  I  in- 
quired the  road;  "  et  puis,"  added  I. 

"  And  then  quite  straight ;  it  is  a  chaussee  all  the  way,  and  you 
cannot  mistake  it." 

"  Now  for  it,  Mademoiselle,"  said  I.  "  Let  us  try  if  we  cannot 
see  a  good  deal  of  the  country  before  the  carriage  comes  up." 

We  had  soon  left  the  town  behind  and  reached  a  beautifully 
shaded  high-road,  with  blossoming  fruit  trees,  and  honeysuckle-cov- 
ered cottages;  there  had  been  several  light  showers,  during  the  day, 
and  the  air  had  all  the  fresh,  fragrant  feeling  of  an  autumn  evening, 
BO  tranquilizing  and  calming  that  few  there  are  who  have  not  felt, 
at  some  time  or  other  of  their  lives,  its  influence  upon  their  minds. 
I  fancied  my  fair  companion  did  so,  for,  as  she  walked  beside  me, 
her  silence,  and  the  gentle  pressure  of  her  arm,  were  far  more  elo- 
quent than  words. 

If  that  extraordinary  flutter  and  flurry  of  sensations  which  will 
now  and  then  seize  you,  when  walking  upon  a  lonely  country  road 
with  a  pretty  girl  for  your  companion,  whose  arm  is  linked  in  yours, 
and  whose  thoughts,  as  far  as  you  can  guess  at  least,  are  traveling 
the  same  path  with  your  own— if  this  be  animal  magnetism,  or  one 
of  its  phenomena,  then  do  I  swear  by  Mepmer,  whatever  it  be,  de- 
lusion or  otherwise,  it  has  given  me  the  brightest  moments  of  my 
life — these  are  the  real  "  winged  dreams  "  of  pleasures  which  outlive 


HARRY    LORREQI7ER.  175 

Others  of  more  absorbing  and  actual  interest  at  the  time.  After  all, 
for  how  many  of  our  happiest  feelings  are  we  indebted  to  the  weak- 
ness of  our  nature!  The  man  that  is  wise  at  nineteen,  "  Je  Ten  fais 
mon  compliment,"  but  I  assuredly  do  not  envy  him;  and  now,  even 
now,  when  I  number  more  years  than  I  should  like  to  "  confess," 
rather  than  suffer  the  suspicious  watchfulness  of  age  to  creep  on  me, 
I  prefer  to  "  go  on 'believing,"  even  though  every  hour  of  the  day 
should  show  me  duped  and  deceived.  While  I  plead  guilty  to  this 
impeachment,  let  me  show  in  mitigation,  that  it  has  its  enjoyments 
— first,  although  I  am  the  most  constant  and  devoted  man  breathing, 
as  a  very  cursory  glance  at  these  Confessions  may  prove,  yet  I  have 
never  been  able  to  restrain  myself  from  a  propensity  to  make  love, 
merely  as  a  pastime.  The  gambler  that  sits  down  to  play  cards,  or 
hazard  against  himself,  may  perhaps  be  the  only  person  that  can 
comprehend  this  tendency  of  mine.  We  both  of  us  are  playing  for 
nothing  (or  love,  which  I  suppose  is  synonymous) ;  we  neither  of  us 
put  forth  our  strength;  for  that  very  reason,  and  in  fact  like  the 
waiter  at  Vauxhall,  who  was  complimented  upon  the  dexterity  with 
which  he  poured  out  the  lemonade,  and  confessed  that  he  spent  his 
mornings  "practicing  with  vater,"  we  pass  a  considerable  portion 
of  our  lives  in  a  mimic  warfare,  which,  if  it  seem  unprofitable,  is 
nevertheless,  pleasant. 

After  all  this  long  tirade,  need  I  say  how  our  walk  proceed?  We 
had  fallen  into  a  kind  of  discussion  upon  the  singular  intimacy  which 
had  so  rapidly  grown  up  amongst  us,  and  which  years  long  might 
have  failed  to  engender.  Our  attempts  to  analyze  the  reasons  for, 
and  the  nature  of  the  friendship  thus  so  suddenly  established — a 
rather  dangerous  and  difficult  topic,  when  the  parties  are  both  young 
— one  eminently  handsome,  and  the  other  disposed  to  be  most  agree- 
able. Oh,  my  dear  young  friends  of  either  sex,  whatever  your  feel- 
ings be  for  one  another,  keep  them  to  yourselves ;  I  know  of  nothing 
half  so  hazardous  us  that  "  comparing  of  notes  "  which  sometimes 
happens.  Analysis  is  a  beautiful  thing  in  mathematics  or  chemistry, 
but  it  makes  sad  havoc  when  applied  to  the  "  functions -of  the  heart." 

"  Mamma  appears  to  have  forgoten  us,"  said  Isabella,  as  she  spoke, 
after  walking  for  some  time  in  silence  beside  ine. 

"  Oh,  depend  upon  it,  the  carriage  has  taken  all  this  time  to  repair; 
but  are  you  tired?" 

"  Oh,  by  no  means;  the  evening  is  delightful,  but " 

"  Then  perhaps  you  are  ennuyee,"  said  I,  half  pettishly,  to  pro- 
yoke  a  disclaimer  if  possible.  To  this  insidiously  put  query  I  re- 
ceived, as  I  deserved,  no  answer,  and  again  we  sauntered  on  without 
speaking. 

"  To  whom  does  that  chateau  belong,  my  old  friend?"  said  I,  ad- 
dressing a  man  on  the  roadside. 

"  A  Monsieur  le  Marquis,  sir,"  replied  he, 

"  But  what's  his  name,  though?" 

"  Ah,  that  I  can't  tell  you,"  replied  the  man  again. 

There  you  may  perceive  how,  even  yet,  in  provincial  France,  the 
old  respect  for  the  aristocracy  still  survives;  it  is  sufficient  that  the 
possessor  of  that  fine  place  is  "  Monsieur  le  Marquis;"  but  any  other 
Knowledge  of  who  he  is,  and  what,  is  superfluous. 

"  How  far  are  we  irom  the  next  vii';i?,e,  do  you  know?" 


176  HARRY    LORREQUEB. 

"  About  a  league." 

"  Indeed.    Wny  I  thought '  La  Scrape  '  was  quite  near  m'* 

"  Ah,  you  are  thinking  of  the  Amiens  road?" 

"  Yes,  of  course;  and  is  not  this  the  Amiens  road?" 

"  Oh,  no;  the  Amiens  road  lies  beyond  those  low  hilla  to  the 
right.  You  passed  the  turn  at  the  first '  barriere.'  " 

"  Is  it  possible  we  could  have  come  wrong?" 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  don't  say  so,  I  entreat  you!" 

"  And  what  road  is  this,  then,  my  friend?" 

"  This  is  the  road  to  Albert  and  Peronne." 

"  Unfortunately,  I  believe  he  is  quite  right.  Is  there  any  cross- 
road from  the  village  before  us  now  to  the  Amiens  road?" 

"  Yes;  you  can  reach  it  about  three  leagues  hence." 

"  And  we  can  get  a  carriage  at  the  inn,  probably?" 

"  Ah,  that  I  am  not  sure  of.    Perhaps  at  the  Lion  d'Oryou  may." 

"  But  why  not  go  back  to  Abbeville?" 

"  Oh,  Mrs.  Bingham  must  have  left  long  since,  ar/1  besides  you 
forget  the  distance;  we  have  been  walking  two  hours. " 

"  Now  for  the  village,"  said  I,  as  I  drew  my  friend's  arm  closer 
within  mine,  and  we  set  out  in  a  fast  walk. 

Isabella  seemed  terribly  frightened  at  the  whole  affair;  what  her 
mamma  might  think,  and  what  might  be  her  fears  at  not  finding  us 
on  the  road,  and  a  hundred  other  encouraging  reflections  of  this 
nature  she  poured  forth  unceasingly.  As  for  myself,  I  did  not 
know  well  what  to  think  of  it;  my  old  fondness  for  adventure  being 
ever  sufficiently  strong  in  me  to  give  a  relish  to  anything  which  bore 
the  least  resemblance  to  one.  This  I  now  concealed,  and  sympa- 
thized with  my  fair  friend  upon  our  mishap,  and  assuring  her,  at 
the  same  time,  that  there  could  be  no  doubt  of  our  overtaking  Mrs. 
Bingham  before  her  arrival  at  Amiens. 

"  Ah,  there  is  the  village  in  the  valley;  how  beautifully  situated." 

"  Oh,  I  can't  admire  anything  now,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  am  so 
frightened." 

"  But  surely  without  cause,"  said  I,  looking  tenderly  beneath  her 
bonnet. 

"Is  this,"  she  answered,  "nothing?"  and  we  walked  on  in 
silence  again. 

On  reaching  the  Lion  d'Or,  we  discovered  that  the  only  convey- 
ance to  be  had  was  a  species  of  open  market-cart,  dr.iwn  by  two 
horses,  and  in  which  it  was  necessary  that  my  fair  friend  and  my- 
self should  seat  ourselves  side  by  side  upon  straw;  there  was  no 
choice,  and  as  for  Miss  Bingham,  I  believe  if  an  ass  with  panniers 
had  presented  itself,  she  would  have  preferred  it  to  remaining  where 
she  was.  "We  therefore  took  our  places,  and  she  could  not  refrain 
from  laughing,  as  we  set  out  upon  our  journey  in  this  absurd  equipage, 
every  jolt  of  which  threw  us  from  side  to  side,  and  rendered  every 
attention  on  my  part  requisite  to  prevent  her  being  upset. 

After  about  two  hours'  traveling  we  arrived  at  the  Amiens  road, 
and  stopped  at  the  barriere.  I  immediately  inquired  if  a  carriage 
had  passed,  resembling  Mrs.  Bingham's,  and  learaed  that  it  had, 
about  an  hour  before,  and  that  the  lady  in  it  had  been  informed  that 
two  persons  like  those  she  asked  after  had  been  seen  in  a  caliche 


HARBY    LOKEEQUEK.  17? 

driviiag  rapidly  to  Amiens,  upon  which  she  set  out  as  fast  as  possi- 
ble in  pursuit. 

"Certainly,"  said  I;  "the  plot  is  thickening;  but  for  that  un 
lucky  mistake  she  might  in  all  probability  have  waited  here  for  us. 
Amiens  is  only  two  leagues  now,  so  our  drive  will  not  be  long,  and 
before  six  o'clock  we  shall  all  be  laughing  over  the  matter  as  a  very 
good  joke." 

On  we  rattled,  and  as  the  road  became  less  frequented,  and  the 
shadows  lengthened,  I  could  not  but  wonder  at  the  strange  situations 
which  the  adventurous  character  of  my  life  had  so  often  involved  me 
in.  Meanwhile,  my  fair  friend's  spirits  became  more  and  more  de- 
pressed, and  it  was  not  without  the  greatest  difficulty  I  was  enabled 
to  support  her  courage.  I  assured  her,  and  not  altogether  without 
reason,  that  though  so  often  in  my  eventful  career  accidents  were 
dccurring  which  rendered  it  dubious  and  difficult  to  reach  the  goal 
I  aimed  at,  yet  the  results  had  so  often  been  more  pleasant  than  I 
aould  have  anticipated,  that  I  always  felt  a  kind  of  involuntary  sat- 
isfaction at  some  apparent  obstacle  to  my  path,  setting  it  down  as 
some  especial  means  of  fortune,  to  heighten  the  pleasure  awaiting  me; 
"  and  now,"  added  I,  "  even  here,  perhaps,  in  this  very  mistake  of 
our  road — the  sentiments  I  have  heard — the  feelings  I  have  given 
utterance  to —  What  I  was  about  to  say  Heaven  knows — perhaps 
laothing  less  than  a  downright  proposal  was  coming;  but  at  that 
critical  moment  a  gendarme  rode  up  to  the  side  of  our  wagon,  and 
surveyed  us  with  the  peculiarly  significant  scowl  his  order  is  gifted 
with.  After  trotting  alongside  for  a  few  seconds  he  ordered  the 
driver  to  halt,  and,  turning  abruptly  to  us,  demanded  our  passports. 
Now  our  passports  were  at  that  precise  moment  peaceably  reposing 
in  the  side  pocket  of  Mrs.  Bingham's  carriage;  I  therefore  explained 
to  the  gendarme  how  we  were  circumstanced,  and  added,  that 
en  arriving  at  Amiens  the  passport  shoxild  be  produced.  To  this  he 
replied,  that  all  might  be  perfectly  true,  but  he  did  not  believe  a  word 
of  it — that  he  hact  received  an  order  for  the  apprehension  of  two 
English  persons  traveling  that  road— and  that  he  should  accordingly 
request  our  company  back  to  Chantraine,  the  commissaire  of 
which  place  was  his  officer. 

"  But  why  not  take  us  to  Amiens?"  said  I;  "  particularly  when  I 
tell  you  that  we  can  then  show  our  passports?" 

"I  belong  to  the  Chantraine  district,"  was  the  laconic  answer, 
and,  like  the  gentleman  who  could  not  weep  at  the  sermon  because 
he  belonged  to  another  parish,  this  specimen  of  a  French  Dogberry 
would  not  hear  reason  except  in  his  own  "  commune." 

No  arguments  that  1  could  think  of  had  any  effect  upon  him,  and 
amid  a  volley  of  entreaty  and  imprecation,  both  equally  vain,  we 
saw  ourselves  turn  back  upon  the  road  to  Amiens,  and  set  out  at  a 
round  trot  to  Chantraine,  on  the  road  to  Calais. 

Poor  Isabella!  I  really  pitied  her;  hitherto  her  courage  had  been 
principally  sustained  by  the  prospect  of  soon  reaching  Amiens; 
now  there  was  no  seeing  where  our  adventure  was  to  end.  Besides 
that,  actual  fatigue  from  the  wretched  conveyance  began  to  distress 
her,  and  she  was  scarcely  able  to  support  herself,  though  assisted 
by  my  arm.  What  a  perilous  position  mine,  whispering  consolation 
and  comfort  to  a  pretty  girl  on  a  lonely  road,  the  only  person  near 


173  BARRY    LORREQrER.         » 

bekff  one  who  comprehended  nothing  of  the  laf  ^TJ&ge  we  spoka 
in.  Ai,  how  little  do  we  know  of  fate,  and  how  often  do  we  de- 
spise circumstances  that  determine  all  our  fortunes  in.  the  world.  To 
think  that  a  gendarme  should  have  anything  to  do  with  nay  future 
lot  in  life,  and  that  the  real  want  of  a  passport  to  travel  should 
involve  the  probable  want  of  a  license  to  many.  "  Yes,  it  is  quite  in 
keeping,"  thought  I,  "  with  every  step  1  have  taicen  through  life.  ^  J 
may  be  brought  before  the  '  maire,'  as  a  culprit,  and  leave  him 
as  a  Benedick." 

On  reaching  the  town,  we  were  not  permitted  to  drive  to  the  inn, 
but  at  once  conveyed  to  the  house  of  the  "  commissaire,"  who  was 
also  the  "  maire"  of  the  district.  The  worthy  functionary  was  long 
since  in  bed,  and  it  was  only  after  ringing  violently  for  half  an  hour 
that  a  head,  surmounted  with  a  dirty  cotton  night -cap,  peeped  from 
an  upper  window,  and  seemed  to  survey  the  assemblage  beneath 
with  patient  attention.  By  this  time  a  considerable  crowd  had  col- 
lected from  the  neighboring  ale-houses  and  cabarets,  who  deemed  i] 
a  most  fitting  occasion  to  honor  us  with  the  most  infernal  yells  and 
shouts,  as  indicating  their  love  of  justice,  and  delight  in  detecting 
knavery;  and  lhat  we  were  both  involved  in  such  suspicion  we  had 
not  long  to  learn.  Meanwhile,  the  poor  old  "  maire,"  who  had  been 
an  employe  in  the  stormy  days  of  the  revolution,  and  also  under 
Napoleon,  and  who  fully  concurred  with  Swift,  that  a  "  crowd  is  a 
mob,  if  composed  even  of  bishops,"  firmly  believed  that  the  uproar 
beneath  in  the  street  was  the  announcement  of  a  new  change  of 
affairs  at  Paris,  determined  to  be  early  in  the  field,  and  shouted  there- 
fore with  all  his  lungs,  "  Vive  lepeuple,"  "  vive  la  charte,"  "  &  bas 
les  autres."  A  tremendous  shout  of  laughter  saluted  this  exhibition 
of  unexpected  republicanism,  and  the  poor  "maire  "  retired  from 
the  window,  having  learned  his  mistake,  covered  with  shame  and  con- 
fusion. 

Before  the  mirth  caused  by  this  blunder  had  subsided  the  door  had 
opened,  and  we  were  ushered  into  the  bureau  of  the  commissaire, 
accompanied  by  the  anxious  crowd,  all  curious  to  know  the  particu- 
lars of  our  crime. 

The  maire  soon  appeared,  his  night-cap  being  replaced  by  a  small 
black  velvet  skull-cap,  and  his  lanky  figure  enveloped  in  a  tarnished 
silk  dressing-gown;  he  permitted  us  to  be  seated,  while  the  gen- 
d'arme  recounted  the  suspicious  circumstances  of  our  traveling,  and 
produced  the  order  to  arrest  an  Englishman  and  his  wife  who  had 
arrived  in  one  of  the  late  Boulogne  packets,  and  who  had  carried 
off  from  some  banking-house  money  and  bills  for  a  large  amount. 

"  I  have  no  doubt  these  are  the  people,  "said  the  gendarme,  "  and 
here  is  the  '  carte  descriptive. '  Let  us  compare  it—'  Forty-two  or 
forty -three  years  of  age. '  " 

"  I  trust,  M.  le  Maire,"  said  I,  overhearing  this,  "'that  ladies  do 
not  recognize  me  so  much." 


you  please,  sir,"  said  the  gendarme. 

Upon  this,  the  old  functionary,  wiping  his  spectacles  with  a  snuffy 
handkerchief,  as  if  preparing  tliern  to  examine  an  eclipse  of  the  sun, 


HAJRRY    LORREQUEB.  179 

regarded  me  fixedly  for  several  minutes,  and  said — "  Oh,  yes,  I  per- 
ceive it  plainly,  continue  the  description." 

"  Five  feet  three  inches,"  said  the  gendarme. 

"  Six  feet  one  in  England,  whatever  this  climate  may  have  done 
since." 

"  Speaks  broken  and  bad  French." 

"Like  a  native,"  said  I;  "at  least,  so  said  my  friends  hi  the 
Chaussee  d'Antin,  in  the  year  fifteen." 

Here  the  catalogue  ended,  and  a  short  conference  between  the 
maire  and  the  gendarme  ensued,  which  ended  in  our  being  com- 
mitted for  examination  on  the  morrow;  meanwhile  we  were  to  re- 
main at  the  inn,  under  the  surveillance  of  the  gendarme. 

On  reaching  the  inn  my  poor  friend  was  so  completely  exhausted 
that  she  at  once  retired  to  her  room,  and  I  proceeded  to  fulfill  a 
promise  I  had  made  to  her  to  dispatch  a  note  to  Mrs.  Bingham  at 
Amiens  by  a  special  messenger,  acquainting  her  with  all  our  mis- 
haps, and  requesting  her  to  come  or  send  to  our  assistance.  This 
done,  and  a  good  supper  smoking  before  me,  of  tvhich  with  difficulty 
1  persuaded  Isabella  to  partake  in  her  own  room,  I  again  regained 
my  equanimity,  and  felt  once  more  at  ease. 

The  gendarme  into  whose  guardianship  I  had  been  left  was  a 
fine  specimen  of  his  caste;  a  large  and  powerfully-built  man  of  about 
fifty,  with  an  enormous  beard  of  grizzly  brown  and  gray  hair,  meet- 
ing above  and  beneath  his  nether  lip;  his  eyebrows  were  heavy  and 
beetling,  and  nearly  concealed  his  sharp  gray  eyes,  while  a  deep 
sabre- wound  had  left  upon  his  cheek  a  long  white  scar,  giving  a 
most  warlike  and  ferocious  look  to  his  features. 

As  he  sat  apart  from  me  for  some  time,  silent  and  motionless,  L 
could  not  help  imagining  in  how  many  a  hard-fought  day  he  had 
borne  a  part ;  for  he  evidently,  from  his  age  and  bearing,  had  been 
one  of  the  soldiers  of  the  empire.  I  invited  him  to  partake  of  my 
bottle  of  Medoc,  by  which  he  seemed  flattered.  When  the  flask  be- 
came low,  and  was  replaced  by  another,  he  appeared  to  have  lost 
much  of  his  constrained  air,  and  seemed  forgetting  rapidly  the  sus- 
picious circumstances  which  he  supposed  attached  to  me — waxed 
wondrous  confidential  and  communicative,  and  condescended  to  im- 
part some  traits  of  a  life  which  was  not  without  its  vicissitudes,  for 
he  had  been,  as  I  suspected,  one  of  the  "  Garde  " — the  old  guard — 
was  wounded  at  Marengo,  and  received  the  croix  d'honneur  in  the 
field  of  Wagram,  from  the  hands  of  the  emperor  himself.  The 
headlong  enthusiasm  of  attachment  to  Napoleon  which  his  brief  and 
stormy  career  elicited  even  from  those  who  suffered  long  and  deeply 
in  his  behalf,  is  not  one  of  the  least  singular  circumstances  which 
this  portion  of  history  displays.  While  the  rigors  of  the  conscription 
had  invaded  every  family  hi  France  from  Normandie  to  La  Vendee 
— while  the  untilled  fields,  the  ruined  granaries,  the  half -deserted 
villages,  all  attested  the  depopulation  of  the  land,  those  talismanic 
words  "  1'Empereur  et  la  gloire,"  by  some  magic  mechanism  seemed 
'all- sufficient  not  only  to  repress  regret  and  suffering,  but  even  stimu- 
late pride,  and  nourish  valor;  and  even  yet,  when  it  might  be  sup- 
posed that,  like  the  brilliant  glass  of  a  magic-lantern,  the  gaudy 
pageant  had  passed  away,  leaving  only  the  darkness  and  desolation  be- 
hind it— the  memory  of  those  days  under  the  empire  survives  uu« 


180  HAPJIY    LOKEEQUER. 

tarnished  >nd  unimpaired,  and  every  sacrifice  of  friends  or  fortunft 
is  accounted  but  little  in  the  balance  when  the  honor  of  La  Belle 
France  and  the  triumphs  of  the  grand  "  armee  "  are  weighed  against 
them.  The  infatuated  and  enthusiastic  followers  of  this  great  man 
would  seem,  in  some  respects,  to  resemble  the  drunkard  in  the 
"  Vaudeville,"  who  alleged  as  his  excuse  for  drinking,  that  whenever 
he  was  sober  his  poverty  disgusted  him.  "  ]VIy  cabin,"  said  he,  "is 
a  cell,  my  wife  a  mass  of  "old  rags,  my  child  a  wretched  object 
of  misery  and  malady.  But  give  me  brandy;  let  me  only  have  that, 
and  then  my  hut  is  a  palace,  my  wife  is  a  princess,  and  my  child  the 
very  picture  of  health  and  happiness;"  so  with  these  people — intoxi- 
cated with  the  triumphs  of  their  nation  "  tete  monte  "  with  victory — 
they  cannot  exist  in  the  horror  of  sobriety  which  peace  necessarily  en- 
forces; and  whenever  the  subject  turns  in  conversation  upon  the 
distresses  of  the  time  or  the  evil  prospects  of  the  country,  they  call 
out,  not  like  the  drunkard  for  brandy,  but  in  the  same  spirit  they 
say — "  Ah,  if  you  would  again  see  France  flourishing  and  happy,  1st 
us  once  more  have  our  croix  d'honneur,  our  epaulettes,  our  voluntary 
contributions,  our  Murillos,  our  Velasquez,  our  spoils  from  Venice, 
and  our  increased  territories  to  rule  over."  This  is  fne  language  of 
the  Bonapartists  everywhere,  and  at  all  seasons?;  and  the  mass  of  the 
nation  is  wonderfully  disposed  to  participate  in  the  sentiment.  The 
empire  was  the  ^Eneid  of  the  nation,  and  Napoleon  the  only  hero 
they  could  believe  in.  You  may  satisfy  yourself  of  this  easily.  Every 
cafe  will  give  evidence  of  it,  every  society  bears  its  testimony  to  it, 
and  even  the  most  wretched  Vaudeville,  however  trivial  the  interest 
— however  meager  the  story,  and  poor  the  diction,  let  the  emperor 
but  have  his  "  role  " — let  him  be  as  laconic  as  possible,  carry  his 
hands  behind  his  back,  bear  the  well-known  cocked-cat  and  the 
"  redingote  gris  " — the  success  is  certain — every  sentence  ne  utters  is 
applauded,  and  not  a  single  allusion  to  the  Pyramids,  the  sun  of 
Austerlitz,  1'honneur,  et  la  vielle  garde,  but  is  sure  to  bring  down 
thunders  of  acclamation.  But  I  am  forgetting  myself,  and  perhaps 
my  reader  too;  the  conversation  of  the  old  gendarme  accidentally 
led  me  into  reflections  like  these,  and  he  was  well  calculated,  ra  man^r 
ways,  to  call  them  forth.  _  His  devoted  attachment — his  personal 
love  of  the  emperor — of  which  he  gave  me  some  touching  instances, 
was  admirably  illustrated  by  an  incident,  which  1  am  Inclined  to  tell, 
and  hope  it  may  amuse  the  reader  as  much  as  it  did  myself  on  hear- 
ing it. 

When  Napoleon  had  taken  possession  of  the  Papal  dominions,  as 
he  virtually  did,  and  carried  off  the  pope,  Pius  VI.,  to  Paris,  this 
old  soldier,  then  a  musketeer  in  the  Garde,  formed  part  of  the  com- 
pany that  mounted  guard  over  the  holy  father.  During  the  earlier 
months  of  the  holy  father's  confinement,  he  was  at  liberty  to  leave 
his  apartments  at  any  hour  he  pleased,  and  cross  the  court-yard  of  the 
palace  to  the  chapel  where  he  performed  mass.  At  such  moments 
the  portion  of  the  Imperial  Guard  then  on  duty  stood  under  arms, 
and  received  from  the  august  hand  of  the  pope  his  benediction  as  he 
passed.  But  one  morning  a  hasty  express  arrived  from  the  Tuileries, 
and  the  officer  on  duty  communicated  his  instructions  to  his  party, 
that  the  apostolic  vicar  was  not  to  be  permitted  to  pass,  as  heretofore 
to  the  chapel,  and  that  a  most  rigid  superintendence  was  to  be  exer 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  181 

efaed  over  "his  movements.  My  poor  companion  had  his  turn  for  duty 
on  that  ill  starred  day;  he  had  not  been  long  at  his  post  when  the 
sound  of  footsteps  was  heard  approaching,  and  he  soon  saw  the  pro- 
cession which  always  attended  the  holy  father  to  his  devotions,  ad- 
vancing toward  him;  he  immediately  placed  himself  across  the  pas- 
sage, and  with  his  musket  in  rest,  barred  the  exit,  declaring,  at  the 
'same  time,  that  such  were  his  orders.  In  vain  the  priests  who  formed 
the  cortege  addressed  themselves  to  his  heart,  and  spoke  to  his  feelings  ; 
and  at  last  finding  little  success  by  these  methods,  explained  to  him 
the  mortal  sin  and  and  crime  for  which  eternal  damnation  itself  might 
not  be  a  too  heavy  retribution  if  he  persisted  in  preventing  his  holi- 
ness to  pass,  and  thus  be  a  means  of  opposing  an  obstacle  to  the  head 
of  the  whole  Catholic  church  for  celebrating  the  mass.  The  soldier  re- 
mained firm  and  unmoved,  the  only  answer  he  returned  being  "  that 
he  had  his  orders  and  dared  not  disobey  them. "  The  pope,  how- 
ever, persisted  in  his  resolution  and  endeavored  to  get  by,  when  the 
hardy  veteran  retreated  a  step,  and  placing  his  musket  and  bayonet 
at  the  charge,  called  out:  "  Au  nom  de  1'Empereur,"  when  the 
pious  party  at  last  yielded  and  slowly  retired  within  the  palace. 

Not  many  days  after  this,  severe  restriction  was  recalled,  and  once 
more  the  holy  father  was  permitted  to  go  to  and  from  the  chapel  to  the 
palace,  at  such  times  as  he  pleased;  and  again  as  before,  in  passing 
the  corridor,  the  guards  presented  arms  and  received  the  holy  benedic- 
tion, all  except  one;  upon  him  the  head  of  the  church  frowned 
severely,  and  turned  his  back,  while  extending  his  pious  hands  to- 
ward the  others.  "  And  yet,"  said  the  poor  fellow  in  concluding 
his  story,  "  and  yet  I  could  not  have  done  otherwise;  I  had  my  orders 
and  must  have  followed  them,  and  had  the  emperor  commanded  it, 
I  should  have  run  my  bayonet  through  the  body  of  the  holy  father 
himself." 

"  Thus,  you  see,  my  dear  sir,  how  I  have  loved  the  emperor,  for 
I  have  many  a  day  stood  under  fire  for  him  in  this  world,  '  etilfaut 
que  j' aime  encore  aufeu  pour  kiidpres  ma  mart.' ' 

He  received  in  good  part  the  consolations  I  offered  him  on  this  head ; 
but  I  plainly  saw  they  did  not,  could  not,  relieve  his  mind  from  the 
horrible  conviction  he  lay  under,  that  his  soul's  safety  forever  had 
been  bartered  for  his  attachment  to  the  emperor. 

The  story  had  brought  us  to  the  end  of  the  third  bottle  of  Medoc; 
and,  as  I  was  neither  the  pope,  nor  had  any  very  decided  intentions  of 
saying  mass,  he  offered  no  obstacle  to  my  retiring  for  the  night,  and 
betaking  myself  to  my  bed. 

CHAPTER  XXVI. 

THE  INN  AT  CHANTRAINE. 

WHEN  contrasted  with  the  comforts  of  an  English  bedroom,  in  a 
good  hotel,  how  miserably  short  does  the  appearance  of  a  French  one 
fall  in  the  estimation  of  the  tired  traveler.  In  exchange  for  the  car- 
peted floor,  the  well- curtained  windows,  the  richly  tapestried  bed, 
the  well-cushioned  arm-chair,  and  the  innumerable  other  luxuries 
which  await  him ;  he  has  naught  but  a  narrow,  uncurtained  bed,  a 
bare  floor,  occasionally  a  flagged  one,  three  hard  cane-bottomed 
chairs,  and  a  looking-glass  which  may  convey  an  idea  of  how  you 


182  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

would  look  under  the  combined  influence  of  the  cholera,  and  a 
stroke  of  apoplexy,  one  half  of  your  face  being  twice  the  length  of 
the  other,  and  the  entire  of  it  a  bluish-green  tint — pretty  enough  in 
one  of  Turner's  landscapes,  but  not  at  all  becoming  whi-u  applied  to 
the  "  human  face  divine."  Let  no  late  arrival  from  the  Continent 
contradict  me  here  by  his  late  experiences,  which  a  stray  twenty 
pounds  and  the  railroa"ds — confound  them  for  the  same — have  enabled 
him  to  acquire.  I  speak  of  matters  before  it  occurred  to  all  Charing 
Cross  and  Chcapside  to  "  take  the  water  "  between  Dover  and  Calais 
and  inundate  the  world  with  the  wit  of  the  Cider  Cellar  and  the 
Hole  in  the  Wall.  No  I  In  the  days  I  write  of  the  traveled  were 
of  another  genus,  and  you  might  dine  at  Very's,  or  have  your  loge 
at  "  Les  Italiens,"  without  being  dunned  by  your  tailor  at  the  one, 
or  confronted  with  your  washerwoman  at  the  other.  Perhaps  I  have 
written  all  this  in  the  spite  and  malice  of  a  man  who  feels  that  his 
louis-d'or  only  goes  half  as  far  now  as  heretofore,  and  attributes  all 
his  diminished  enjoyments  and  restricted  luxuries  to  the  unceasing 
current  of  his  countrymen,  whom  fate  and  the  law  of  imprisonment 
for  debt  impel  hither.  Whether  I  am  so  far  guilty  or  not,  is  not  now 
the  question ;  suffice  it  to  say  that  Harry  Lorrequer,  for  reasons  best 
known  to  himself,  lives  abroad,  where  he  will  be  most  happy  to  see 
any  of  his  old  and  former  friends  who  take  his  quarters  en  route ; 
and,  in  the  words  of  a  bellicose  brother  of  the  pen,  but  in  a  far  differ- 
ent spirit,  he  would  add,  '  that  any  person  who  feels  himself  here 
alluded  to  may  learn  the  author's  address  at  his  publisher's." 
' '  Now  let  us  go  back  to  our  muttons, ' '  as  Barney  Coyle  used  to  say 
in  the  Dublin  Librarv  formerly — for  Barney  was  fond  of  French 
allusions,  which  occasionally,  too,  he  gave  in  their  own  tongue,  as 
once  describing  an  interview  with  Lord  Cloncurry,  in  which  he  broke 
off  suddenly  the  conference,  adding,  "I  told  him  I  never  would 
consent  to  such  a  proposition,  and  putting  my  chateau  (chapeau)  on 
ray  head,  I  left  the  house  at  once." 

It  was  nearly  three  o'clock  in  the  morning,  as,  accompanied  by  the 
waiter,  who,  like  others  of  his  tribe,  had  become  a  kind  of  somnam- 
bulist ex-officio,  I  wended  my  way  up  one  flight  of  stairs,  and  down 
another,  along  a  narrow  corridor,  down  two  steps,  through  an  ante- 
chamber, and  into  another  corridor,  to  No.  82,  my  habitation  for  the 
night.  Why  I  should  have  been  so  far  conducted  from  the  habitable 
portion  of  the  house  I  had  spent  my  evening  in,  I  leave  the  learned 
in  such  matters  to  explain;  as  for  me,  I  have  ever  remarked  it, 
while  asking  for  a  chamber  in  a  large  roomy  hotel,  the  singular  pride 
with  which  you  are  ushered  tip  grand  staircases,  down  passages, 
through  corridors,  and  up  nairow  back  flights,  till  the  blue  sky  is 
seen  through  the  sky-light,  to  No.  199,  "  the  only  spare  bedroom  in 
the  house,"  while  the  silence  and  desolation  of  the  whole  establish- 
ment would  seem  to  imply  far  otherwise — the  only  evidence  of  occu- 
pation being  a  pair  of  dirty  Wellingtons  at  the  door  of  No.  72. 

"  Well,  we  have  arrived  at  last,"  said  I,  drawing  a  deep  sigh  as  I 
threw  myself  upon  a  rickety  chair,  and  surveyed  rapidly  my  meager- 
looking  apartment. 

"  Yes,  this  is  Monsieur's  chamber,"  said  the  waiter,  with  a  very 
peculiar  look,  Lalf  servile,  half  dull.  "Madame  se  couche.  No. 
28." 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  183 

"  Very  well,  good  night,"  said  I,  closing  the  door  hastily,  and  not 
liking  the  further  scrutiny  of  the  fellow's  eye,  as  he  fastened  it  on 
me,  as  if  to  search  what  precise  degree  of  relationship  existed  be- 
tween myself  and  my  fair  friend,  whom  he  had  called  "  Madame  " 
purposely  to  elicit  an  observation  from  me.  "  Ten  to  one  though," 
said  I,  as  I  undressed  myself,  "  but  they  think  she  is  my  wife — how 

f3od— but  again — ay,  it  is  very  possible,  considering  we  are  in 
ranee.  Nurnero  vingt-huit — quite  far  enough  from  this  part  of  the 
house,  I  should  suppose  from  my  number.  That  old  gendarme 
was  a  fine  fellow — what  strong  attachment  to  Napoleon ;  and  the 
story  of  the  pope ;  I  hope  I  may  remember  that.  Isabella,  my  poor 
girl — this  adventure  must  really  distress  her — hope  she  is  not  crying 
over  it — what  a  devil  of  a  hard  bed — and  it  is  not  five  feet  long  too — 
and,  bless  my  soul,  is  this  all  by  way  of  covering!  why  I  shall  be 
perished  here.  Oh !  I  must  certainly  put  all  my  clothes  over  me  in 
addition;  unfortunately,  there  is  no  hearth-rug—well,  there  is  no 
help  for  it  now — so  let  me  try  to  sleep — numero  vingt-huit." 

How  long  1  remained  in  a  kind  of  uneasy,  fitful  slumber,  I  cannot 
tell ;  but  I  awoke  shivering  with  cold — puzzled  to  tell  where  I  was, 
and  my  brain  addled  with  the  broken  fragments  of  half  a  dozen 
dreams,  all  mingling  and  mixing  themselves  with  the  unpleasant 
realities  of  my  situation.  What  an  infernal  contrivance  for  a  bed, 
thought  I,  as  my  head  came  thump  against  the  top,  while  my  legs 
projected  far  beyond  the  foot-rail;  the  miserable  portion  of  clothing 
over  me  at  the  same  time  being  only  sufficient  to  temper  the  night 
air,  which  in  autumn  is  occasionally  severe  and  cutting.  This  will 
never  do.  I  must  ring  the  bell  and  rouse  the  house,  if  only  to  get  a 
fire,  if  they  don't  possess  such  a  thing  as  blankets.  I  immediately 
rose,  and  groping  my  way  along  the  wall,  endeavored  to  discover 
the  bell.  But  in  vain ;  and  for  the  same  satisfactory  reason  that  Von 
Troil  did  not  devote  one  chapter  of  his  work  on  "Iceland  "  to 
' '  snakes, ' '  because  there  were  none  such  there.  What  was  now  to  be 
done?  About  the  geography  of  my  present  abode  I  knew,  perhaps, 
as  much  as  the  public  at  large  know  about  the  Coppermine  river, 
and  Behring's  straits.  The  world,  it  was  true,  was  before  me, 
"  where  to  choose,"  admirable  things  for  an  epic,  but  decidedly  an 
unfortunate  circumstance  for  a  very  cold  gentleman  in  search  of  a 
blanket.  Thus  thinking,  I  opened  the  door  of  my  chamber,  and  not 
in  any  way  resolved  how  I  should  proceed,  1  stepped  forth  into  the 
long  corridor,  which  was  dark  as  midnight  itself. 

Tracing  my  path  along  the  wall,  I  soon  reached  a  door  which  1  in 
vain  attempted  to  open ;  in  another  moment  I  found  another  and  an- 
other, each  of  which  were  locked.  Thus  along  the  entire  corridor  I 
felt  my  way,  making  every  effort  to  discover  where  any  of  the  people 
of  the  house  might  have  concealed  themselves,  but  without  success. 
What  was  to  be  done  now?  It  was  of  no  use  to  go  back  to  my  late 
abode,  and  find  it  comfortless  as  I  left  it ;  so  I  resolved  to  proceed  in 
my  search.  By  this  time  I  had  arrived  at  the  top  of  a  small  flight 
of  stairs,  which  I  remembered  having  come  up,  and  which  led  to 
another  long  passage  similar  to  the  one  I  had  explored,  but  running 
in  a  transverse  direction.  Down  this  I  now  crept,  and  reached  the 
landing,  along  the  wall  of  which  I  was  guided  by  my  hand,  as  well 
for  safety  as  to  discover  the  architrave  of  some  friendly  door, 


HARRY    LORREQUER. 

where  the  inhabitant  might  he  sufficiently  Samaritan  to  lend  some 
portion  of  his  hed-clothes ;  door  after  door  followed  in  succession 
along  this  confounded  passage,  which  I  began  to  think  as  long  as  the 
gallery  of  the  lower  one.  At  last,  however,  just  as  my  heart  was 
sulking  within  me  from  disappointment,  the  handle  of  a  lock  turned 
and  I  found  myself  inside  a  chamber.  How  was  I  now  to  proceed? 
for  if  this  apartment  did  not  contain  any  of  the  people  of  the  hotel, 
had  but  a  sorry  excuse  for  disturbing  the  repose  of  any  traveler 
who  might  have  been  more  fortunate  than  myself  in  the  article  of 
blankets.  To  go  back,  however,  would  be  absurd,  havino-  already 
ken  so  much  trouble  to  find  out  a  room  that  was  inhabited— for 
that  such  was  the  case,  a  short,  thick  snore  assured  me— so  that  my 
resolve  was  at  once  made,  to  waken  the  sleeper,  and  endeavor  to  in- 
terest him  in  my  destitute  situation.  I  accordingly  approached  the 
place  where  the  nasal  sound  seemed  to  issue  from,  and  soon  reached 
the  post  of  a  bed.  I  waited  for  an  instant,  and  then  began: 

I  Monsieur,  voulez  vous  bien  me  permettre " 

"  As.<*>  sllorfc  wnist  *  never  could  make  it  out,  so  there  is  an  end  of 
ft,      said  my  unknown  friend,   in    a  low,   husky  voice    which 
strangely  enough,  was  not  totally  unfamiliar  tome:  but  when  or 
how  I  had  heard  it  before  1  could  not  then  think. 

Well,  thought  I,  he  is  an  Englishman,  at  all  events,  so  I  hope  his 
patriotism  may  forgive  my  intrusion,  so  here  goes  once  more  to  rouse 
Jam,  though  he  seems  a  confoundedly  heavy  sleeper.  "  I  beo-  your 
pardon,  sir,  but  unfortunately,  in  a  point  like  the  present  per- 
haps  " 

"  Well,  do  you  mark  the  points,  and  I'll  score  the  rubber  "  said 
he. 

"The  devil  take  the  gambling  fellow's  dreaming"  thought  I 
raising  my  voice  at  the  same  time. 

!'  Perhaps  a  cold  night,  sir,  may  suffice  as  my  apology." 

Cold,  oh,  ay!  put  a  hot  poker  in  it,"  muttered  he;  "a  hot 
poker,  a  little  sugar,  and  a  spice  of  nutmeg— nothing  else— then  it's 
delicious." 


us  see 


^*o  *-'*-*  uj  — 

— 7 — — .v  u*v,  imvi  j.  a*  i;^n  you  where  I  hid  the 

«igars— they  are  under  my  straw  hat  in  the  window." 

"  Well,  really,"  thought  I,  "if  this  gentleman's  confessions  were 

of  an  interesting  nature,  this  might  be  good  fun;  but  as  the  night  is 

cold  I  must  shorten  the  '  seance,'  so  here  goes  for  one  effort  more  " 

It    sir,  you  could  kindly  spare  me  even  a  small  portion  of  your 

bedclothes.  J 

"No,  thank  you,  no  more  wine;   but  I'll  sing  with  pleasure-" 

and  here  the  wretch,  in  something  like  the  voice  of  a  frog  with 

the  quinsy,    began,    '   '  I'd  mourn  the  hopes  that    leave    me  '" 

You  shall  mourn  something  else  for  the  same  reason,"  said  I  as 

3sing  all  patience,  I  seized  quilt  and  blankets  by  the  corner  and 

with  one  vigorous  pull  wrenched  them  from  the  bed,  and  darted 

Ironi  the  room— in  a  second  I  was  in  the  corridor,  trailing  my  spoil 

-which,  in  my  haste,  I  had  not  time  to  collect  in  a  bundle 

lew  rather  than  ran  along  the  passage,  reached  the  stairs,  and  in 

other  minute  had  reached  the  second  gallery,  but  not  before  I 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  •          185 

heard  the  slam  of  a  door  behind  me,  and  the  same  instant  the  foot- 
Bteps  of  a  person  running  along  the  corridor,  who  could  be  no  other 
than  my  pursuer,  effectually  aroused  by  my  last  appeal  to  his  char- 
ity. I  darted  along  the  dark  and  narrow  passage;  but  soon,  to  my 
horror,  discovered  that  I  must  have  passed  the  door  of  my  chamber, 
for  I  had  reached  the  foot  of  a  narrow  back  stair,  which  led  to  the 
grenier  and  the  servants'  rooms,  beneath  the  roof.  To  turn  now 
only  would  have  led  me  plump  in  the  face  of  my  injured  countryman, 
of  whose  thew  and  sinew  I  was  perfectly  ignorant,  and  did  not 
much  like  to  venture  upon.  There  was  little  time  for  reflection,  for 
he  had  now  reached  the  top  of  the  stair,  and  was  evidently  listening 
for  some  clew  to  guide  him  on;  stealthily  and  silently,  and  scarcely 
drawing  breath,  I  mounted  the  narrow  stairs,  step  by  step,  but  be- 
fore I  had  arrived  at  the  landing,  he  heard  the  rustle  of  the  bed- 
clothes, and  again  gave  chase.  There  was  something  in  the  unre- 
lenting ardor  of  his  pursuit  which  suggested  to  my  mind  the  idea  of 
a  most  uncompromising  foe;  and  as  fear  added  speed  to  my  steps, 
I  dashed  along  beneath  the  low-roofed  passage,  wondering  what 
chance  of  escape  would  yet  present  itself.  Just  at  this  instant,  the 
hand  by  which  I  had  guided  myself  along  the  wall,  touched  the 
handle  of  a  door— I  turned  it — it  opened — I  drew  in  my  precious 
bundle,  and  closing  the  door  noiselessly,  sat  down,  breathless  and 
still,  upon  the  floor. 

Scarcely  was  this,  the  work  of  a  second,  accomplished,  when  the 
heavy  tread  of  my  pursuer  resounded  on  the  floor. 

"  Upon  my  conscience,  it's  strange  if  I  haven't  you  now,  my 
friend,"  said  he;  "  you're  in  a  culde  sac  here,  as  they  say,  if  I  know 
anything  of  the  house;  and  faith  I'll  make  a  salad  of  you,  when  I 
get  you,  that's  all.  Devil  a  dirtier  trick  ever  I  heard  tell  of. " 

Need  I  say  that  these  words  had  the  true  smack  of  an  Irish  accent, 
which  circumstance,  from  whatever  cause,  did  not  by  any  means 
tend  to  assuage  my  fears  in  the  event  of  discovery. 

However,  from  such  a  misfortune  my  good  genius  now  delivered 
me;  for  after  traversing  the  passage  to  the  end,  he  at  last  discovered 
another,  which  led  by  a  long  flight  to  the  second  stoiy,  down  which 
he  proceeded,  venting  at  every  step  his  determination  for  vengeance 
and  his  resolution  not  to  desist  from  the  j  ursuit,  if  it  took  the  entire 
night  for  it. 

"Well,  now,"  thought  I  "as  he  will  scarcely  venture  up  here 
again,  and  as  I  may,  by  leaving  this,  be  only  incurring  the  risk  of 
encountering  him,  my  best  plan  is  to  stay  where  I  am,  if  it,  be  possi- 
ble." With  this  intent  I  proceeded  to  explore  the  apartment,  which 
from  its  perfect  stillness  I  concluded  to  be  unoccupied.  After  some 
few  minutes'  groping  I  reached  a  low  bed,  fortunately  empty,  and 
although  the  touch  of  the  bed-clothes  led  to  no  veiy  favorable  augury 
of  its  neatness  or  elegance,  there  was  little  choice  at  this  moment,  so 
I  rolled  myself  up  in  my  recent  booty,  and  resolved  to  wait  patiently 
for  daybreak  to  regain  my  apartment. 

As  always  happens  in  such  circumstances,  sleep  came  on  me  un- 
awares— so  at  least  every  one's  experience  I  am  sure  can  testify,  that 
if  you  are  forced  to  wake  early  to  start  by  some  morning  coach,  and 
that  unfortunately  you  have  not  got  to  bed  till  late  at  night,  the 
chances  are  ten  to  one  that  you  get  no  sleep  whatever,  simply  because 


186  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

jou  are  desirous  for  it;  but  make  up  your  mind  ever  so  resolutely 
that  you'll  not  sleep,  and  whether  your  determination  be  built  on 
motives  of  propriety,  duty,  convenience  or  health,  and  the  chances 
are  just  as  strong  that  you  are  sound  and  snoring  before  ten  minutes. 
How  many  a  man  has  found  it  impossible,  with  every  effort  of  his 
heart  and  brain  aiding  his  good  wishes,  to  sit  with  unclosed  eyes  and 
ears  through  a  dull  sermon  in  the  dog-days;  how  many  an  expectant 
longing  heir  has  yielded  to  the  drowsy  influence  when  endeavoring  to 
look  contrite  under  the  severe  correction  of  a  lecture  on  extravagance 
from  his  uncle.  Who  has  not  felt  the  irresistible  tendency  to  "  drop 
off  "  in  the  half  hour  before  dinner  at  a  stupid  country  house?  I 
need  not  catalogue  the  thousand  other  situations  hi  life  infinitely 
more  "  sleep-compelling  "  than  morphine;  for  myself,  rnypleasantest 
and  soundest  moments  of  perfect  forgetfulness  of  this  dreary  world 
and  all  its  cares,  have  been  taken  on  an  oaken  bench,  seated  bolt 
upright  and  vis  d  vis  to  a  lecturer  on  botany,  whose  calming  accents, 
united  with  the  softened  light  of  an  autumnal  day,  piercing  its  diffi- 
cult rays  through  the  narrow  and  cobwebed  windows,  the  odor  of 
the  recent  plants  and  flowers  aiding  and  abetting,  all  combined  to 
Bteep  the  soul  in  sleep,  and  you  sank  by  imperceptible  and  gradual 
steps  into  that  state  of  easy  slumber  in  which  ' '  come  no  dreams, ' '  and 
the  last  sounds  of  the  lecturer's  ' '  hypogenous  and  perigenous  ' '  died 
away,  becoming  beautifully  less,  till  your  senses  sank  into  rest,  the 
syllables  "  rigging  us,  rigging  us,"  seemed  to  melt  away  in  the  dis- 
tance and  fade  from  your  memory Peace  be  with  you, 

Dr.  A.  If  I  owe  gratitude  anywhere,  I  have  my  debt  with 
you.  The  very  memory  I  bear  of  you  has  saved  me  no  inconsider- 
able sum  in  hop  and  henbane.  Without  any  assistance  from  the 
sciences  on  the  present  occasion,  1  was  soon  asleep,  and  woke  not 
till  the  cracking  of  whips  and  the  trampling  of  horses'  feet  on  the 
pavement  of  the  coach-yard  apprised  me  that  the  world  had  risen  to 
its  daily  labor,  and  so  should  I.  From  the  short  survey  of  my  pres- 
ent chamber,  which  I  took  on  waking,  I  conjectured  it  must  have 
been  the  den  of  some  of  the  servants  of  the  house  upon  occasion — 
two  low  truckle-beds  of  the  meanest  description  lay  along  the  wall 
opposite  to  mine ;  one  of  1  icm  appeared  to  have  been  slept  in  during 
the  past  night,  but  by  wnat  species  of  animal  the  Fates  alone  can 
tell.  An  old  demi-peak  saddle,  capped  and  tipped  with  brass,  some 
rusty  bits  and  stray  stirrup- irons,  lay  here  and  there  upon  the  floor; 
while  upon  a  species  of  clothes-rack,  attached  to  a  rafter,  hung  a 
tarnished  suit  of  postilion's  livery,  cap,  jacket,  leathers,  jack-boots, 
all  ready  for  use ;  and  evidently  from  their  arrangement  supposed 
by  the  owner  to  be  rattier  a  creditable  "  turn  out. " 

1  turned  over  these  singular  habiliments  with  much  of  the  curios- 
ity with  which  an  antiquary  would  survey  a  suit  of  chain  armor, 
the  long  epaulets  of  j'ellow  cotton  cord,  the  heavy  belt,  with  its 
brass  buckle,  the  cumbrous  boots,  plaited  and  bound  with  iron  like 
churns,  were  in  rather  a  ludicrous  contrast  to  the  equipment  of  our 
light  and  jockey-like  boys,  in  nunkeen  jackets  and  neat  tops,  that 
spin  along  over  our  level  "  macadam." 

"  But,"  thought  I,  "  it  is  full  time  I  should  get  back  to  No.  82, 
and  make  my  appearance  below  stairs;"  though  in  what  part  of  the 
building  my  room  lay,  and  how  I  was  to  reach  it  without  iny  clothes 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  187 

I  had  aot  the  least  idea,  A  blanket  is  an  excessively  comfortable 
article  of  wearing  apparel  when  in  bed,  but  as  a  walking  costume  is 
by  no  means  convenient  or  appropriate,  while  to  making  a  sortie  en 
f  mirage,  however  appropriate  during  the  night,  there  were  many  seri- 
ous objections  if  done  "  en  plein  jour  "  and  with  the  whole  estab- 
lishment awake  and  active.  The  noise  of  mopping;  scrubbing  and 
polishing,  which  is  eternally  going  forward  in  a  foreign  inn,  amply- 
testified  there  was  nothing  which  I  could  adopt  in  my  present 
naked  and  forlorn  condition  save  the  bizarre  and  ridiculous  dress  of 
the  postilion,  and  I  need  not  say  the  thought  of  so  doing  presented 
nothing  agreeable.  I  looked  from  the  narrow  window  out  upon 
the  tiled  roof,  but  without  any  prospect  of  being  heard  if  I  called 
ever  so  loudly. 

The  infernal  noise  of  floor  cleansing,  assisted  by  a  Norman  peas- 
ant's "  chanson  du  pays,"  the  time  being  well  marked  by  her  heavy 
sabots,  gave  even  less  chance  to  me  within;  so  that  after  more  than 
half  an  hour  passed  in  weighing  difficulties  and  canvassing  plans, 
upon  donning  the  blue  and  yellow,  and  setting  out  for  my  own  room 
without  delay,  hoping  sincerely  that,  with  proper  precaution,  I 
should  be  able  to  reach  it  unseen  and  unobserved. 

As  I  laid  but  little  stress  upon  the  figure  I  should  make  in  my 
new  habiliments,  it  did  not  cause  me  much  mortification  to  find  that 
the  clothes  were  considerably  too  small,  the  jacket  scarcely  coming 
beneath  my  arms  and  the  sleeves  being  so  short  that  my  hands  and 
wrists  projected  beyond  the  cuffs  like  two  enormous  claws,  the 
leathers  were  also  limited  in  their  length,  and  when  drawn  up  to  a 
proper  height,  permitted  my  knees  to  be  seen  beneath  like  the  short 
costume  of  a  Spanish  Taundor,  but  scarcely  as  graceful;  not  wish- 
ing to  encumber  myself  in  the  heavy  and  noisy  masses  of  wood,  iron, 
and  leather,  they  call  "  les  pottes  forts,"  I  slipped  my  feet  into  my 
slippers,  and  stole  gently  from  the  room.  How  I  must  have  looked 
at  the  moment  I  leave  my  reader  to  guess,  as  with  anxious  and 
stealthy  pace  I  crept  along  the  low  gallery  that  led  to  the  narrow 
staircase,  down  which  I  proceeded,  step  by  step;  but  just  as  I 
reached  the  bottom,  perceived  a  little  distance  from  me,  with  her 
baca  turned  toward  me,  a  short,  squat  peasant  on  her  knees,  labor- 
ing with  a  brush  the  well- waxed  floor;  to  pass,  .therefore,  unob- 
served, was  impossible,  so  that  I  did  not  hesitate  to  address  her,  and 
endeavor  to  interest  her  in  my  behalf,  and  enlist  her  as  my  guide. 

"  Bon  jour,  ma  chere,  bon  jour." 

"  Bon  jour,  ma  chere,"  said  I,  hi  a  soft  insinuating  tone;  she  did 
not  hear  me,  so  I  repeated : 

Upon  this  she  turned  round,  and  looking  fixedly  at  me  for  a  sec- 
ond, called  out  in  a  thick  patois,  "  Ah,  le  bon  Dieu!  qu'il  est  drole 
comme  93,  Francois,  savez-vous,  mais  ce  n'est  pas  Francois,"  say- 
ing which,  she  sprang  from  her  kneeling  position  to  her  feet,  and 
with  a  speed  that  her  shape  and  sabots  seemed  little  to  promise, 
rushed  down  the  stairs  as  if  she  had  seen  the  devil  himself. 

"  Why,  what  is  the  matter  with  the  woman?"  said  I,  "  surely  if  I 
am  not  FranQois-— which  God  be  thanked  is  true — yet  I  cannot  look  so 
frightful  as  all  this  would  imply."  I  had  not  much  time  given  me 
for  consideration  now,  for  before  I  had  well  deciphered  the  number 
over  a  door  before  me,  the  loud  noise  of  several  voices  on  the  floor 


188  HAERT    LORREQUER. 

beneath  attracted  my  attention,  and  the  moment  after  the  heavy 
tramp  of  feet  followed,  and  in  an  instant  the  gallery  was  thronged 
by  the  men  and  women  of  the  house — waiters,  hostlers,  cooks,  scull- 
ions, fllles  de  chambre,  mingled  with  gendarmes,  peasants,  and 
townspeople,  all  eagerly  forcing  their  way  up  stairs ;  jet  all,  on  ar- 
riving at  the  landing-place,  seemed  disposed  to  keep  at  a  respectful 
distance,  and  bundling  themselves  at  one  end  of  the  corridor,  while 
I,  feelingly  alive  to  the  ridiculous  appearance  I  made,  occupied  the 
other — the  gravity  with  which  they  seemed  at  first  disposed  to  regard 
me,  soon  gave  way,  and  peal  after  peal  of  laughter  broke  out,  and 
young  and  old,  men  and  women,  even  to  the  most  farouche  gen- 
darmes, all  appearing  incapable  of  controlling  the  desire  for  merri- 
ment my  most  singular  figure  inspired;  and  unfortunately,  this 
emotion  seemed  to  promise  no  very  speedy  conclusion,  for  the  jokes 
and  witticisms  made  upon  my  appearance  threatened  to  renew  the 
festivities,  ad  libitum. 

"  Regardez  done  ses  epaules,"  said  one. 

"  Ah,  mon  Dieu!  II  me  fait  1'idee  d'une  grenouille  aves  ses 
jambes  jaunes,"  cried  another. 

"  II  vaut  son  pesant  de  fromage  pour  une  Vaudeville,"  said  the 
director  of  the  strolling  theater  of  the  place. 

"  I'll  give  seventy  francs  a  week,  '  d'appointment,'  and  '  Scribe  ' 
shall  write  a  piece  express  for  himself,  if  he'll  take  it." 

"  May  the  devil  fly  away  with  your  grinning  baboon  faces,"  said 
I,  as  I  rushed  up  the  stairs  again,  pursued  by  the  mob  at  full  cry; 
scarcely,  however,  had  I  reached  the  top  step,  when  the  rough  hand 
of  the  gendarme  seized  me  by  the  shoulder,  while  he  said  in  a  low, 
husky  voice,  "  c'est  inutile,  Monsieur,  you  cannot  escape— the  thing 
was  well  contrived,  it  is  true;  but  the  gendarmes  of  France  are 
not  easily  outwitted,  and  you  could  not  have  long  avoided  detection, 
even  in  that  dress. "  It  was  my  turn  to  laugh  now ;  which,  to  their  very 
great  amazement,  I  did,  loud  and  long,  that  I  should  have  thought  my 

E resent  costume  could  ever  have  been  the  means  of  screening  me 
rom  observation,  however  it  might  have  been  calculated  to  attract  it, 
was  rather  too  absurd  a  supposition  even  for  the  mayor  of  a  village 
to  entertain ;  besides,  it  only  now  occurred  to  me  that  I  was  figuring 
in  the  character  of  a  prisoner.  The  continued  peals  of  laughing 
which  this  mistake  on  their  part  elicited  from  me,  seemed  to  afford 
but  slight  pleasure  to  my  captor,  who  gruffly  said: 

"  When  you  have  done  amusing  yourself,  mon  ami,  perhaps  you 
will  do  us  the  favor  to  come  before  the  mayor. " 

"  Certainly,"  I  replied;  "  but  you  will  first  permit  me  to  resume 
my  own  clothes,  I  am  quite  sick  of  masquerading  '  en  postilion.'  " 

"Not  so  fast,  my  friend,"  said  the  suspicious  old  follower  of 
Fouche — not  so  fast;  it  is  but  right  the  maire  should  see  you  in  the 
disguise  you  attempted  your  escape  in.  It  must  be  especially  men- 
tioned in  the  proems  verbal." 

"Well,  this  is  becoming  too  ludicrous,"  said  I.  "It  need  not 
take  five  minutes  to  satisfy  you  why,  how,  and  where,  I  put  on  these 
confounded  rags " 

"  Then  tell  it  to  the  maire.  at  the  Bureau." 

"  But  lor  that  purpose  it  is  not  ii"  •  -  ;;ry  I  should  be  conducted 


HARRY    LORHEQUER.  189 

through  the  streets  in  broad  day,  to  be  laughed  at.  No,  positively, 
I'll  not  go.  In  my  own  dress,  I'll  accompany  you  with  pleasure." 

"Victor,  Henri,  Guiliaume,"  said  the  gendarme,  addressing  his 
companions,  who  immediately  closed  round  me.  "  You  see,"  added 
he,  "  there  is  no  use  in  resisting." 

Need  I  recount  my  own  shame  and  ineffable  disgrace?  Alas!  it 
is  too,  too  true.  Harry  Lorrequer — whom  Stultze  entreated  to  wear 
his  coats,  the  ornament  of  Hyde  Park,  the  last  appeal  hi  dress,  fash- 
ion, and  equipage— was  obliged  to  parade  through  the  mob  of  a  mar- 
ket town  in  France,  with  four  gendarmes  for  his  companions,  and 
he  himself  habited  in  a  mongrel  character — half  postilion,  half 
Delaware  Indian.  The  incessant  yells  of  laughter — the  screams  of  the 
children,  and  the  outpouring  01  every  species  of  sarcasm  and  ridi- 
cule, at  my  expense,  were  not  all — for  as  I  emerged  from  the  porte 
eoch&re,  I  saw  Isabella  in  the  window;  her  eyes  were  red  with  weep- 
ing; but  no  sooner  had  she  beheld  me,  than  she  broke  out  into  a  fit 
of  laughter,  that  was  audible  even  in  the  street. 

Rage  had  now  taken  such  a  hold  upon  me,  that  I  forgot  my 
ridiculous  appearance  in  my  thirst  for  vengeance.  I  marched  on 
through  the  grinning  crowd,  with  the  step  of  a  martyr.  I  suppose 
my  heroic  bearing  and  warlike  deportment  must  have  heightened  the 
drollery  of  the  scene;  for  the  devils  only  laughed  the  more.  The 
bureau  of  the  maire  could  not  contain  one  tenth  of  the  anxious  and 
curious  individuals  who  thronged  the  entrance,  and  for  about  twenty 
minutes  the  whole  efforts  of  the  gendarmes  were  little  enough  to 
keep  order  and  maintain  silence.  At  length  the  maire  made  his  ap- 
pearance, and  accustomed  as  he  had  been  for  a  long  life  to  scenes  of 
an  absurd  and  extraordinary  nature,  yet  the  ridicule  of  my  look  and 
costume  was  too  much,  and  he  laughed  outright.  This  was  of 
course  the  signal  for  renewed  mirth  for  the  crowd,  while  those  with- 
eut  doors,  infected  by  the  example,  took  up  the  jest,  and  I  had  the 
pleasure  of  a  short  calculation,  a  la  Bdbbage,  of  how  many  max- 
illary jaws  were  at  that  same  moment  wagging  at  my  expense. 

However,  the  examination  commenced;  and  I  at  length  obtained 
an  opportunity  of  explaining  under  what  circumstances  I  had  left 
my  room,  and  how  and  why  I  had  been  induced  to  don  this  con- 
founded cause  of  all  my  misery. 

"  This  may  be  very  true,"  said  the  mayor,  "  as  it  is  very  plausible; 
if  you  have  evidence  to  prove  what  you  have  stated ' 

"  If  it's  evidence  only  is  wanting  Mr.  Maire,  I'll  confirm  one  part 
of  the  story,"  said  a  voice  in  the  crowd,  in  an  accent  and  tone  that 
assured  me  the  speaker  was  the  injured  proprietor  of  the  stolen 
blankets.  I  turned  round  hastily  to  look  at  my  victim,  and  what 
was  my  surprise  to  recognize  a.  very  old  Dublin  acquaintance,  Mr. 
Fitzmaurice  O'Leary. 

"Good  morning,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  he;  "this  is  mighty  like 
our  old  practices  in  College  Green;  but  upon  my  conscience,  the 
maire  has  the  advantage  of  Gabbet.  It's  lucky  for  you  I  know  his 
worship,  as  we'd  call  him  at  home,  or  this  might  be  a  serious  busi- 
ness. Nothing  would  persuade  them  that  you  were  not  Lucien 
Buonaparte,  or  the  iron  mask,  or  something  of  that  sort,  if  they  took 
it  into  their  heads." 

Mr.  O'Leary  was  as  good  as  his  word.    In  a  species  of  French, 


190  HARRY    L011REQUER. 

that  I'd  venture  to  say  would  be  perfectly  intelligible  in  Mullingat, 
he  contrived  to  explain  to  the  maire  that  I  was  neither  a  runaway 
nor  a  swindler,  but  a  very  old  friend  of  his,  and  consequently  sans 
reproche.  The  official  was  now  as  profuse  of  his  civilities  as  he  had 
before  been  of  his  suspicions,  and  most  hospitably  pressed  us  to  stay 
for  breakfast.  This,  for  many  reasons,  I  was  obliged  to  decline — 
not  the  least  of  which  was  my  impatience  to  get  out  of  my  present 
costume.  We  accordingly  procured  a  carriage,  and  I  returned  to 
the  hotel,  scieened  from  the  gaze,  but  still  accompanied  by  the  shouts 
of  the  mob,  who  evidently  took  a  most  lively  interest  in  the  entire 
proceeding. 

I  lost  no  time  in  changing  my  costume,  and  was  about  to  descend 
to  the  saloon  when  the  master  of  the  house  came  to  inform  me  that 
Mrs.  Bingham's  courier  had  arrived  with  the  carriage,  and  that  she 
expected  us  at  Amiens  as  soon  as  possible. 

"  That  is  all  right.  Now,  Mr.  O'Leary,  I  must  pray  you  to  for- 
give all  the  liberty  I  have  taken  -with  you,  and  also  permit  me  to 
defer  the  explanation  of  many  circumstances  vrhich  seem  at  present 
strange,  till " 

"Till  sine  die,  if  the  story  be  a  long  one,  my  dear  sir — there's 
nothing  I  hate  so  much,  except  cold  punch." 

"  You  are  going  to  Paris,"  said  I;  "  is  it  not  so?" 

"  Yes,  I'm  thinking  of  it.  I  was  up  at  Trolhatten,  in  Norway, 
three  weeks  ago,  and  I  was  obliged  to  leave  it  hastily,  for  I've  an 
appointment  with  a  friend  in  Geneva." 

"  Then  how  do  you  travel?" 

"  On  foot,  just  as  you  see,  except  that  I've  a  tobacco  bag  up  stairs, 
and  an  umbrella." 

"  Light  equipment,  certainly;  but  you  must  allow  me  to  give  you 
a  set  down  as  far  as  Amiens,  and  also  to  present  you  to  my  friends 
there." 

To  this  Mr.  O'Leary  made  no  objection;  and  as  Miss  Bingham 
could  not  bear  any  delay,  in  her  anxiety  to  join  her  mother,  we  set 
out  at  once — the  only  thing  to  mar  my  full  enjoyment  at  the  mo- 
ment, being  the  sight  of  the  identical  vestments  I  had  so  lately  fig- 
ured in,  bobbing  up  and  down  before  my  eyes  for  the  whole  length 
of  the  stage,  and  leading  to  innumerable  mischievous  allusions  from 
my  friend  Mr.  O'Leary,  which  were  far  too  much  relished  by  my 
fair  companion. 

At  twelve  we  arrived  at  Amiens,  when  I  presented  my  friend,  Mr. 
O'Leary,  to  Mrs.  Bingham. 


CHAPTER  X5VII. 
MR.  O'LEAKT. 

AT  the  conclusion  of  my  last  chapter,  I  was  about  to  introduce  to 
my  reader's  acquaintance  my  friend  Mr.  O'Leary;  and,  as  he  is  des- 
tined to  occupy  some  place  in  the  history  of  these  Confessions,  I 
may,  perhaps,  be  permitted  to  do  so  at  more  length  thai*  his  intrinsic 
merit  at  first  sight  might  appear  to  warrant. 

Mr.  O'Leary  was,  and  I  am  induced  to  believe  is,  a  particularly 
short,  fat,  greasy-looking  gentleman,  with  a  head  as  free  from  phren- 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  191 

ological  development  as  a  billiard-ball,  and  a  countenance  which,  in 
feature  and  color,  nearly  resembled  the  face  of  a  cherub,  carved  in 
oak,  as  we  see  them  in  old  pulpits. 

Short  as  is  his  stature,  his  limbs  compose  the  least  part  of  it.  His 
hands  and  feet  forming  some  compensation  by  their  ample  propor- 
tions, give  to  his  entire  air  and  appearance  somewhat  the  look  of  a 
small  fish,  with  short,  thick  fins,  vulgarly  called  a*  cobbler's  thumb. 
His  voice,  varying  in  cadence  from  a  deep. baritone  to  a  high  falsetto, 
maintains  throughout  the  distinctive-characteristic"  of*a  Dublin  accent 
and  pronunciation,  and  he  talks  of  the  "  veel  of  Ovoca,  and  a  beef- 
ateek,"  with  some  pride  of  intonation.  What  part  of  the  island  he 
came  originally  from,  or  what  may  be  his  age,  are  questions  I 
have  the  most  profound  ignorance  of;  I  have  heard  many  anecdotes 
which  would  imply  his  being  what  the  French  call  "  d'un  age  mur  " 
— but  his  own  observations  are  generally  limited  to  events  occurring 
since  the  peace  of  "fifteen."  To  his  personal  attractions,  such  as 
they  are,  he  has  never  been  solicitous  of-  contributing  by  the  meretri- 
cious aids  of  dress.  His  coat,  calculating  from  its  length  of  waist, 
and  ample  skirt,  would  fit  Dumbo  Green,  while  his  trousers,  being 
made  of  some  cheap  and  shrinking  material,  have  gradually  con- 
tracted their  limits  and  look  now  exactly  like  knee-breeches,  with- 
out the  usual  buttons  at  the  bottom. 

These,  with  the  addition  of  a  pair  of  green  spectacles,  the  glass  of 
one  being  absent,  and  permitting  the  lookout  of  a  sharp,  gray  eye, 
twinkling  with  drollery  and  good  humor,  form  the  most  palpable  of 
his  externals.  In  point  of  character  they  who  best  knew  him  repre- 
sented him  as  the  best-tempered,  best-hearted  fellow  breathing;  ever 
ready  to  assist  a  friend,  and  always  postponing  his  own  plans  and  his 
own  views,  when  he  had  any,  to  the  wishes  and  intentions  of  others. 
Among  the  many  odd  things  about  him  was  a  constant  preference 
for  traveling  on  foot,  and  a  great  passion  for  living  abroad,  both  of 
which  tastes  he  gratified,  although  his  size  might  seem  to  offer 
obstacles  to  the  one,  and  his  total  ignorance  of  every  continental  lan- 
guage, would  appear  to  preclude  the  other;  with  a  great  liking  for 
tobacco,  which  he  smoked  all  day — a  fondness  for  whist  and  malt 
liquors — his  antipathies  were  few ;  so  that,  except  when  called  upon 
to  shave  more  than  once  in  the  week,  or  wash  his  hands  twice  on  the 
same  day,  it  was  difficult  to  disconcert  him.  His  fortune  was  very 
ample ;  but  although  his  mode  of  living  was  neither  very  ostentatious 
nor  costly,  he  contrived  always  to  spend  his  income.  Such  was  the 
gentleman  I  now  presented  to  my  friends,  who,  I  must  confess,  ap- 
peared strangely  puzzled  by  his  manner  and  appearance.  This  feel- 
ing, however,  soon  wore  off;  and  before  he  had  spent  the  morning 
in  their  company,  he  had  made  more  way  in  their  good  graces,  and 
gone  further  to  establish  intimacy,  than  many  a  more  accomplished 
person,  with  an  unexceptionable  coat  and  accurate  whisker,  might  have 
effected  hi  a  fortnight.  What  were  his  gifts  in  this  way  I  am,  alas, 
most  deplorably  ignorant  of ;  it  was  not,  Heaven  knows,  that  he  pos- 
sessed any  conversational  talent — of  successful  flattery  he  knew  as 
much  as  a  negro  does  of  the  national  debt,  and  yet  the  "  bonhom- 
mie  "  of  his  character  seemed  to  tell  at  once;  and  I  never  knew  him 
fail  in  any  one  instance  to  establish  an  interest  for  himself  before  he 
had  completed  the  ordinary  period  of  a  visit. 


192  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

I  think  it  is  Washington  Irving  who  has  so  admirably  depicted  the 
mortification  of  a  dandy  angler,  who,  with  his  beaver  garnished  with 
brown  hackles,  his  well-poised  rod,  polished  guff,  and  handsome 
landing-net,  with  everything  befitting,  spends  his  long  summer  day 
whipping  a  trout  stream  without  a  rise  or  even  a  ripple  to  reward 
him,  while  a  ragged  urchin,  with  a  willow  wand  and  a  bent  pin,  not 
ten  yards  distant,  is  covering  the  greensward  with  myriads  of 
speckled  and  scaly  backs,  from  one  pound  weight  to  four;  so  it  is  in 
everything — "  the  race  is  not  to  the  swift;"  the  elements  of  success 
in  life,  whatever  be  the  object  of  pursuit,  are  very,  very  different 
from  what  we  think  of  them  at  first  sight,  and  so  it  was  with  Mr. 
O'Leary;  and  I  have  more  than  once  witnessed  the  triumph  of  his 
homely  manner  and  blunt  humor  over  the  more  polished  and  well- 
bred  taste  of  his  competitors  for  favor;  and  what  might  have  been 
the  limit  to  such  success  Heaven  alone  can  tell,  if  it  weie  not  that  ho 
labored  under  a  counterbalancing  infirmity,  sufficient  to  have 
swamped  a  line-of-battle  ship  itself.  It  was  simply  this — a  most 
unfortunate  propensity  to  talk  of  the  wrong  place,  person,  or  time, 
in  any  society  he  found  himself;  and  this  taste  for  the  mal-apropot 
extended  so  far,  that  no  one  ever  ventured  into  company  with  him 
as  his  friend,  without  trembling  for  the  result;  but  even  this,  I  be- 
lieve his  only  fault,  resulted  from  the  natural  goodness  of  his  char- 
acter and  intentions;  for  believing,  as  he  did,  in  his  honest  sim- 
plicity, that  the  arbitrary  distinctions  of  class  and  rank  were  held  as 
cheaply  by  others  as  by  himself,  he  felt  small  scruple  at  recounting 
to  a  duchess  a  scene  in  a  cabaret,  and  with  as  little  hesitation  would 
he,  if  asked,  have  sung  the  "  Cruiskeen  Lawn,"  or  the  "Jug  of 
Punch,"  after  Lablanche  had-  finished  the  "  A  Idea,"  from  Figaro. 
Mauvaise  honte  he  had  none;  indeed,  I  am  not  sure  he  had  any  kind 
of  shame  whatever,  except  possibly  when  detected  with  a  coat  that 
bore  any  appearance  of  newness,  or  if  ever  persuaded  to  wear  gloves, 
which  he  ever  considered  as  a  special  effeminacy. 

Such,  in  a  few  words,  was  the  gentleman  I  now  presented  to  my 
friends,  and  how  far  he  insinuated  himself  into  their  good  graces,  let 
the  fact  tell,  that  on  my  return  to  the  breakfast-room,  after  about  an 
hour's  absence,  I  heard  him  detailing  the  particulars  of  a  route  they 
were  to  take  by  his  advice,  and  also  learned  that  he  had  been  offered 
and  had  accepted  a  seat  in  their  carriage  to  Paris. 

"  Then  I'll  do  myself  the  pleasure  of  joining  your  party,  Mrs. 
Bingham,"  said  he.  "  Bingham,  I  think,  madam,  is  your  name." 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  Any  relation,  may  I  ask,  of  a  most  dear  friend  of  mine,  of  the 
same  name,  from  Currynaslattery,  in  the  county  Wexford?" 

"I  am  really  not  aware,"  said  Mrs.  Biugham.  "My  husband's 
family  are,  I  believe,  many  of  them  from  that  county." ' 

"  Ah,  what  a  pleasant  fellow  was  Tom!"  said  Mr.  O'Leary,  mus- 
ingly, and  with  that  peculiar  tone  which  made  me  tremble,  for  I 
knew  that  a  reminiscence  was  coming.  "A  pleasant  fellow,  in- 
deed." 

"  Is  he  alive,  sir,  now?" 

"  I  believe  so,  ma'am;  but  I  hear  the  climate  does  not  agree  with 
him." 

"  Ah,  then  he's  abroad!    In  Italy,  probably?" 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  193 

"  No,  ma'am,  in  Botany  Bay.  His  brother,  they  say,  might  have 
saved  him,  but  he  left  poor  Tom  to  his  fate;  for  he  was  just  then, 
paying  his  court  to  a  Miss  Crow,  I  think,  with  a  large  fortune.  Oh, 
Lord,  what  have  I  said;  it's  always  the  luck  of  me!"  The  latter 
exclamation  was  the  result  of  a  heavy  saugh  upon  the  floor,  Mrs. 
Bingham  having  fallen  in  a  faint — she  being  the  identical  lady  allud- 
ed to,  and  her  husband  the  brother  of  pleasant  Tom  Bingham. 

To  hurl  Mr.  O'Leary  out  of  the  room  by  one  hand,  and  ring  the 
bell  with  the  other,  was  the  work  of  a  moment;  and  with  proper 
care,  and  in  due  time,  Mrs.  Bingham  was  brought  to  herself ,  when, 
most  fortunately,  she  entirely  forgot  the  cause  of  her  sudden  indis- 
position; and,  of  course,  neither  her  daughter  nor  myself  suffered 
any  clew  to  escape  us  which  might  lead  to  its  discovery. 

When  we  were  once  more  upon  the  road,  to  efface  if  it  might  be 
necessary,  any  unpleasant  recurrence  to  the  late  scene,  I  proceeded  to 
give  Mrs.  Bingham  an  account  of  my  adventure  at  Chantraine,  in 
which,  of  course,  I  endeavored  to  render  my  friend  O'Leary  all  the 
honors  of  being  laughed  at  in  preference  to  myself,  laying  little  stress 
upon  my  masquerading  in  the  jack-boots. 

"  You  are  quite  right,"  said  O'Leary,  joining  in  the  hearty  laugh 
against  him, ' '  quite  right ;  I  was  always  a  very  heavy  sleeper—  indeed, 
if  i  wasn't,  I  wouldn't  be  here  now,  traveling  about  en  garcon,  free 
as  air;"  here  he  heaved  a  sigh,  which,  from  its  incongruity  with  his 
jovial  look  and  happy  expression,  threw  us  all  into  renewed  laughter. 

"  But  why,  Mr.  O'Leary— what  can  your  sleepiness  have  to  do 
with  such  tender  recollections,  for  such,  I  am  sure,  that  sigh  be- 
speaks them?" 

"  Ah!  ma'am,  it  may  seem  strange,  but  it  is  nevertheless  true,  if 
it  were  not  for  that  unfortunate  tendency,  I  should  now  be  the  happy 
possessor  of  a  most  accomplished  and  amiable  lady,  and  eight  hun- 
dred per  annum  three  and  a  half  per  cent  stock." 

"  You  overslept  yourself  on  the  wedding-day,  I  suppose." 

"  You  shall  hear,  ma'am;  the  story  is  a  very  short  one.  It  is  now 
about  eight  years  ago,  I  was  rambling  through  the  south  of  France, 
and  had  just  reached  Lyons,  where  the  confounded  pavement  that 
sticks  up  like  spears,  with  the  point  upward,  had  compelled  me  to 
rest  some  days  and  recruit;  for  this  purpose  I  Installed  myself  in  the 
pension  of  Madame  Gourgead,  Rue  de  Petits  Carmes,  a  quiet 
house — where  we  dined  at  twelve,  ten  in  number,  upon  about, 
two  pounds  of  stewed  beef,  with  garlic  and  carrots — a  light  soup, 
being  the  water  which  accompanied  the  same,  to  render  it  tender  in 
stewing— some  preserved  cherries,  and  an  omelet,  with  a  pint  bottle 
of  Beaune,  6me  qualite,  I  believe — a  species  of  pyroligneous  wine 
made  from  the  vine  stalks,  but  pleasant  in  summer  with  your  salad; 
then  we  played  dominoes  in  the  evening,  or  whist  for  sous  points, 
leading  altogether  a  very  quiet  and  virtuous  existence,  or,  as  Madame 
herself  expressed  it,  '  une  vie  tout-a-fait  patriarchate ;'  of  this  I  can- 
not myself  affirm  how  far  she  was  right  in  supposing  the  patriarchs 
did  exactly  like  us.  But  to  proceed,  in  the  same  establishment  there 
lived  a  widow  whose  late  husband  had  been  a  wine  merchant  at 
Dijon — he  had  also,  I  suppose,  from  residing  in  that  country,  been, 
imitating  the  patriarchs,  for  he  died  one  day.  Well,  the  lady  was 
delayed  at  Lyons  for  some  law  business,  and  thus  it  came  about  that 


194  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

her  husband's  testament  and  the  sharp  paving  stones  in  the  streets 
determined  we  should  be  acquainted.  I  cannot  express  to  you  the 
delight  of  my  fair  countrywoman  at  finding  that  a  person  who  spoke 
English  had  arrived  at  the  '  pension  ' — a  feeling  I  myself  somewhat 
participated  in,  for,  to  say  truth,  I  was  not  at  that  time  a  very  great 
proficient  in  French.  W  e  soon  became  intimate,  in  less  time  proba- 
bly than  it  would  otherwise  have  happened,  for  from  the  ignorance 
of  all  the  others  of  one  word  of  English,  I  was  enabled  during  dinner 
to  say  many  soft  and  tender  things,  which  one  does  not  usually  vent- 
ure on  in  company. 

"  I  recounted  my  travels,  and  told  various  adventures  of  my  wan- 
derings, till  at  last,  from  being  merely  amused,  I  found  that  my  fair 
friend  began  to  be  interested  in  my  narratives ;  and  frequently,  when 
passing  the  bouillon  to  her,  I  have  seen  a  tear  in  the  corner  of 
her  eye;  in  a  word,  '  she  loved  me  for  the  dangers  I  had  passed,'  as 
Othello  says.  "Well,  laugh  away  if  you  like,  but  it's  truth  I'm  tell- 
ing you."  At  this  part  of  Mr.  O'Leary's  story  we  all  found  it  im- 
possible to  withstand  the  ludicrous  mock  heroic  of  his  face  and  tene, 
and  laughed  loud  and  long.  When  we  at  length  became  silent  he 
resumed—"  Before  three  weeks  had  passed  over,  I  had  proposed 
and  was  accepted,  just  your  own  way,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  taking  the 
ball  at  the  hop,  the  very  same  way  you  did  at  Cheltenham,  the  time 
the  lady  jilted  you,  and  ran  off  with  your  friend  Mr.  Waller.  I  read 
it  all  hi  the  news,  though  I  was  then  in  Norway  fishing. "  Here 
there  was  another  interruption  by  a  laugh,  not,  however,  at  Mr. 
O'Leary's  expense.  I  gave  him  a  most  menacing  look,  while  he 
continued — "  The  settlements  were  soon  drawn  up,  and  consisted, 
like  all  great  diplomatic  documents,  of  a  series  of  '  gams  and  com- 
pensations ;'  thus,  she  was  not  to  taste  anything  stronger  than  kirsch 
wasser,  or  Nantz  brandy;  and  I  limited  myself  to  a  pound  of  short- 
cut weekly,  and  so  on;  but  to  proceed:  the  lady  being  a  good 
Catholic,  insisted  upon  being  married  by  a  priest  of  her  own  persua- 
sion, before  the  performance  of  the  ceremony  at  the  British  embassy 
in  Paris ;  to  this  I  could  offer  no  objection,  and  we  were  accordingly 
united  in  the  holy  bonds  the  same  morning,  after  signing  the  law 
papers." 

"  Then,  Mr  O'Leary,  you  are  really  a  married  man?" 
"That's  the  very  point  I'm  coming  to,  ma'am;  for  I  have  con- 
sulted all  the  jurists  upon  the  subject,  and  they  never  can  agree. 
But  you  shall  hear.  I  dispatched  a  polite  note  to  Bishop  Luscombe, 
and  made  every  arrangement  for  the  approaching  ceremony,  took  a 
quarter  in  the  Rue  Helder,  near  the  Estaminet,  and  looked  forward 
with  anxiety  for  the  day  which  was  to  make  me  happy;  for  our  mar- 
riage ha  Lyons  was  only  a  kind  of  betrothal.  Now,  my  fair  friend 
had  but  one  difficulty  remaining,  poor,  dear  soul — I  refrain  from 
mentioning^  her  name  for  delicacy  sake;  but  poor  dear  Mrs.  Ram 
could  not  bear  the  notion  of  our  going  up  to  Paris  in  the  same  con- 
veyance, for,  long  as  she  had  lived  abroad,  she  had  avoided  every- 
thing French,  even  the  language ;  so  she  proposed  that  I  should  go  in 
the  early  '  diligence,'  which  starts  at  four  o'clock  hi  the  morning, 
while  she  took  her  departure  at  nine;  thus  I  should  be  some  hours 
sooner  in  Paris,  and  ready  to  receive  her  on  her  arriving ;  besides 
sparing  her  bashf  ulness  all  reproach  of  our  traveling  together.  It 


HARRY    LOliREQUER.  195 

•was  no  use  my  telling  her  that  I  always  traveled  on  foot,  and 
hated  a  '  diligence;'  she  coolly  replied  that  at  our  time  of  life  we 
could  not  spare  the  time  necessary  for  a  pilgrimage  to  Jerusalem,  for 
so  she  supposed  the  journey  from  Lyons  to  Paris  to  be;  so,  fearing 
lest  any  doubt  might  be  thrown  upon  the  ardor  of  my  attachment,  I 
yielded  at  once,  remembering  at  the  moment  what  rny  poor  friend  Tom 
Bing — Oh  Lord,  I'm  at  it  again  1" 

"  Sir,  I  did  not  hear." 

"  Nothing,  ma'am.  I  was  just  going  to  observe  that  ladies  of  a 
certain  time  of  life,  and  especially  widows,  like  a  lover  that  seems 
a  little  ardent  or  so  all  the  better."  Here  Mrs.  Bingham  blushed,  her 
daughter  bridled,  and  I  nearly  suffocated  with  shame  and  suppressed 
laughter. 

"  After  a  most  tender  farewell  of  my  bride  or  wife,  I  don't  know 
which,  I  retired  for  the  night,  with  a  mind  vacillating  between  my 
hopes  of  happiness  and  my  fears  for  the  result  of  a  journey  so  foreign 
to  all  my  habits  of  traveling,  and  hi  which  I  could  not  but  tremble 
at  the  many  casualties  my  habitual  laziness  and  dislike  to  any  hours 
but  of  my  own  choosing  might  involve  me  in. 

"  I  had  scarcely  laid  down  in  bed,  ere  these  thoughts  took  such 
possession  of  me,  that  sleep  for  once  in  my  life  was  out  of  the  ques- 
tion; and  then  the  misery  of  getting  up  at  four  in  the  morning — 
putting  on  your  clothes  by  the  flickering  light  of  the  porter's  candle 
— getting  your  boots  on  the  wrong  feet,  and  all  that  kind  of  annoy- 
ance— I  am  sure  I  fretted  myself  into  the  feeling  of  a  downright 
martyr  before  an  hour  was  over.  Well,  at  least,  thought  I,  one  thing 
is  well  done — I  have  been  quite  right  in  coming  to  sleep  here  at  the 
Massagerie  Hotel,  where  the  diligence  starts  from,  or  the  chances 
are  ten  to  one  that  I  should  never  wake  till  the  time  was  past.  Now, 
however,  they  are  sure  to  call  me;  so  I  may  sleep  tranquilly  till  then. 
Meanwhile  I  had  forgotten  to  pack  my  trunk — my  papers,  etc.,  ly- 
ing all  about  the  room  in  a  state  of  considerable  confusion.  I  rose 
at  once  with  all  the  dispatch  I  could  muster;  this  took  a  long  time 
to  effect,  and  it  was  nearly  two  o'clock  ere  1  finished,  and  sat  down 
to  smoke  a  solitary  pipe — the  last,  I  supposed,  it  might  be  my  lot 
to  enjoy  for  heaven  knows  how  long,  Mrs.  R.  having  expressed, 
rather  late  in  our  intimacy,  I  confess,  strong  opinions  against  tobacco 
within  doors. 

"  When  I  had  finished  my  little  sac  of  the  '  weed,'  the  clock  struck 
three,  and  I  started  to  think  how  little  time  I  was  destined  to  have  in 
bed.  In  bed !  why,  said  I,  there  is  no  use  thinking  of  it  now,  for  I 
shall  scarcely  have  lain  down  ere  I  shall  be  obliged  to  get  up  again. 
So  thinking,  I  set  about  dressing  myself  for  the  road;  and  as  the  sea- 
son was  winter,  and  the  weather  dreadfully  severe,  took  care  to  array, 
myself  in  all  the  covering  I  could  lay  hands  upon ;  and  by  the  time 
I  had  enveloped  myself  in  a  pair  of  long  Hungarian  gaiters,  and  a 
kurtcha  of  sheep's  wool,  with  a  brown  bear- skin  outside,  with  a 
Welsh  wig,  and  a  pair  of  large  dark  glass  goggles  to  defend  the  eyes 
from  the  snow,  I  was  not  only  perfectly  impervious  to  all  effects  of 
the  weather,  but  so  thoroughly  defended  from  any  influence  of  sight 
or  sound,  that  a  volcano  might  be  hissing  and  thundering  within  ten 
yards  of  me,  without  attracting  the  slightest  attention.  Now,  1 
thought,  instead  of  remaining  here,  I'll  just  step  down  to  the  coach, 


196  HARET    LOEEEQUEB. 

and  get  snugly  into  the  diligence,  and  having  secured  the  corner  of 
the  coupe,  resign  myself  to  sleep  with  the  certainty  of  not  heing  left 
behind,  and,  probably,  too,  be  some  miles  on  my  journey  before 
awaking. 

"  I  accordingly  went  down  stairs,  and  to  my  surprise  found,  even 
at  that  early  hour,  that  many  of  the  garcons  of  the  house  were  stir- 
ring and  bustling  about,  getting  all  the  luggage  up  in  the  huge  wooden 
leviathan  that  was  to  convey  us  on  our  road.  There  they  stood,  like 
bees  around  a  hive,  clustering  and  buzzing,  and  all  so  engaged  that 
with  difficulty  could  I  get  an  answer  to  my  question  of,  What  dili- 
gence it  was?  '  La  diligence  pour  Paris,  Monsieur.' 

"  '  Ah,  all  right  then,'  said  I;  so  watching  an  opportunity  to  do  so 
unobserved,  for  I  supposed  they  might  have  laughed  at  me,  I  stepped 
quietly  into  the  coupe,  and  amid  the  creaking  of  cordage,  and  the 
thumping  of  feet  on  the  roof,  fell  as  sound  asleep  as  ever  I  did  hi 
my  life — these  sounds  coming  to  my  muffled  ears,  soft  as  the  echoes 
on  the  Rhine.  When  it  was  that  I  awoke  I  cannot  say ;  but  as  I 
rubbed  my  eyes  and  yawned  after  a  most  refreshing  sleep,  I  per- 
ceived that  it  was  still  quite  dark  all  around,  and  that  the  diligence 
was  standing  before  the  door  of  some  inn  and  not  moving.  Ah, 
thought  I,  this  is  the  first  stage;  how  naturally  one  alwavs  wakes  at 
the  change  of  horses— a  kind  of  instinct  implanted  by  Providence, 
I  suppose,  to  direct  us  to  a  little  refreshmeut  on  the  road.  With 
these  pious  feelings  I  let  down  the  glass,  and  called  out  to  the  gallon 
for  a  glass  of  brandy  and  a  cigar.  While  he  was  bringing  them,  I 
had  time  to  look  about,  and  perceived  to  my  very  great  delight,  that 
I  had  the  whole  coupe  to  myself.  '  Are  there  any  passengers  coming 
hi  here?'  said  I,  as  the  waiter  came  forward  with  my  petit  verre.  '  I 
should  think  not,  sir,'  said  the  fellow  with  a  leer!  '  Then  I  shall 
have  the  whole  coupe  to  myself?'  said  I.  '  Monsieur  need  have  no 
fear  of  being  disturbed;  I  can  safely  assure  him  that  he  will  have  no 
one  there  for  the  next  twenty-four  hours. '  This  was  really  pleasant 
intelligence;  so  I  chucked  him  a  ten  sous  piece,  and  closing  up  the 
window,  as  the  morning  was  cold,  once  more  lay  back  to  sleep  with 
a  success  that  has  never  failed  me.  It  was  to  a  bright  blue  cloudless 
sky,  and  the  sharp  clear  air  of  a  fine  day  in  whiter,  that  I  at  length 
opened  my  eyes.  I  pulled  out  my  watch,  and  discovered  it  was  ex- 
actly two  o'clock;  I  next  lowered  the  glass  and  looked  about  me,  and 
very  much  to  my  surprise  discovered  that  the  diligence  was  not  mov- 
ing, but  standing  very  peaceably  in  a  very  crowded  congregation  of 
other  similar  and  dissimiliar  conveyances,  all  of  which  seemed,  I 
thought,  to  labor  under  some  physical  ailment,  some  wanting  a  box, 
others-  a  body,  etc. ,  etc. ,  and  in  fact  suggesting  the  idea  of  an  in- 
firmary for  old  and  disabled  carriages  of  either  sex,  mails  and  others. 
'  Oh,  I  have  it,'  cried  I,  '  we  are  arrived  at  Mont-Geran,  and  they  are 
all  at  dinner,  and  from  my  being  alone  hi  the  coupe  they  have  for- 
gotten to  call  me. '  I  immediately  opened  the  door,  and  stc 


into  the  inn-yard,  crowded  with  conducteurs,  grooms  and  "hostlers ; 
who,  I  thought,  looked  rather  surprised  at  seeing  me  emerge  from 
the  diligence. 

'  You  did  not  know  I  was  there,'  said  I,  with  a  knowing  wink 
at  one  of  them  as  I  passed. 

' '  Assurement  non,'  said  the  fellow  with  a  laugh,  that  was  th< 


HARRY    LORREQUEB.  197 

signal  for  all  the  others  to  join  in  it.  '  Is  the  table  d'h6te  over?' 
said  I,  regardless  of  the  mirth  around  me.  '  Monsieur  is  just  in 
time,'  said  the  waiter,  who  happened  to  pass  with  a  soup-tureen  in 
his  hand.  '  Have  the  goodness  to  step  this  way. '  I  had  barely  lime 
to  remark  the  close  resemblance  of  the  waiter  to  the  fellow  who  pre- 
sented me  with  my  brandy  and  cigar  in  the  morning,  when  he  ushered 
me  into  a  large  room  with  about  forty  persons  sitting  at  a  long  table, 
evidently  waiting  with  impatience  for  the  '  pottige  '  to  begin  their 
dinner.  Whether  it  was  they  enjoyed  the  joke  ot  having  neglected 
to  call  me,  or  that  they  were  laughing  at  my  traveling  costume,  1 
cannot  say,  but  the  moment  I  came  in,  I  could  perceive  a  general  titter 
run  through  the  assembly.  '  Not  too  late,  after  all,  gentlemen, '  said 
I,  marching  gravely  up  the  table. 

"  '  Monsieur  is  in  excellent  time,'  said  the  host,  making  room  for 
me  beside  his  chair.  Notwithstanding  the  incumbrance  of  my 
weighty  habiliments,  I  proceeded  to  do  ample  justice  to  the  viands 
before  me,  apologizing  laughingly  to  the  host,  by  pleading  a  traveler's 
appetite. 

"  '  Then  you  have  perhaps  come  far  this  morning/  said  a  gentle- 
man opposite. 

"  '  Yes/  said  I,  '  I  have  been  on  the  road  since  four  o'clock.' 

"  '  And  how  are  the  roads?'  said  another.  '  Very  bad/  said  I, 
'  the  first  few  stages  from  Lyons,  afterward  much  better. '  This 
was  said  at  a  venture,  as  I  began  to  be  ashamed  of  being  always 
asleep  before  my  fellow-travelers.  They  did  not  seein,  however,  to 
understand  me  perfectly;  and  one  old  fellow,  putting  down  his  spec- 
tacles from  his  forehead,  leaned  over  and  said,  '  And  where,  may  I 
ask,  has  Monsieur  come  from  this  morning?' 

"  '  From  Lyons/  said  I,  with  the  proud  air  of  a  man  who  has  done 
a  stout  feat,  and  is  not  ashamed  of  the  exploit. 

"  '  From  Lyons!'  said  one.  '  From  Lyons!'  cried  another.  '  From 
Lyons!'  repeated  a  third. 

"  '  Yes/  said  I;  '  what  the  devil  is  so  strange  in  it?  traveling  is*so 
quick  nowadays,  one  thinks  nothing  of  twenty  leagues  before  dinner. ' ' 

' '  The  inf emal  shout  of  laughing  that  followed  my  explanation  is 
still  in  my  ears ;  from  one  end  of  the  table  to  the  other  there  was  one 
continued  ha,  ha,  ha — from  the  greasy  host  to  the  little  hunch- 
backed waiter,  they  were  all  grinning  away. 

"  '  And  how  did  Monsieur  travel?'  said  the  old  gentleman,  who 
seemed  to  carry  on  the  prosecution  against  me. 

"  '  By  the  diligence,  the  "  Aigle  noir,"  '  said  I,  giving  the  name 
with  some  pride,  that  I  was  not  altogether  ignorant  of  the  convey- 
ance. 

"  '  Then  you  should  certainly  not  complain  of  the  roads/  said  Hie 
host,  chuckling;  '  for  the  only  journey  that  diligence  has  made  this 
day  has  been  from  the  street-door  to  the  inn  yard;  for,  as  they  found 
when  the  luggage  was  nearly  packed  that  the,  axle  was  almost  broken 
through,  they  wheeled  it  round  to  the  cour,  and  prepared  another  for 
the  travelers.' 

'  '  And  where  am  I  now?'  said  I. 

"  '  In  Lyons/  said  twenty  voices,  half -choked  with  laughter  at  my 
question. 

"  I  was  thunderstruck  at  the  news  at  first;  but  as  I  proceeded  with 


198  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

my  dinner,  I  joined  in  the  mirth  of  the  party,  which  certainly  wa* 
not  diminished  on  my  telling  them  the  object  of  my  intended  journey. 
' '  I  think,  young  man,'  said  the  old  fellow  with  the  spectacles, 
'  that  you  should  take  the  occurrence  as  a  warning  of  Providence 
that  marriage  will  not  suit  you. '  I  began  to  be  of  the  same  opinion; 
but  then  there  was  the  jointure.  To  be  sure,  I  was  to  give  up  to- 
bacco; and  perhaps  I  should  not  be  as  free  to  ramble  about  as  when 
en  gargon.  So  taking  all  things  into  consideration,  I  ordered  in 
another  bottle  of  Burgundy,  to  drink  Mrs.  Ram's  health— got  my 
passport  vised  for  Barege— and  set  out  for  the  Pyrenees  the  same 
evening." 

"  And  have  you  never  heard  anything  more  of  the  lady?"  said 
Mrs.  Bingham. 

"  Oh  yes.  She  was  faithful  to  the  last;  for  I  found  out  when  at 
Rome  last  winter  that  she  had  offered  a  reward  for  me  in  the  news- 
papers, and  indeed  had  commenced  a  regular  pursuit  of  me  through 
the  whole  continent.  And  to  tell  the  real  fact,  I  should  not  now 
fancy  turning  my  steps  toward  Paris,  if  I  had  not  very  tolerable  in- 
formation that  she  is  in  full  cry  after  me  through  the  Wengen  Alps. 
I  have  contrived  a  paragraph  in  Galignani  to  seduce  her  thither,  and 
where,  with  the  blessing  of  Providence,  if  the  snow  set  in  early  she 
must  pass  the  whiter." 

CHAPTER  XXVIIL 

PARIS. 

NOTHING  more  worthy  of  recording  occurred  before  our  arrival  at 
Meurice  6  on  the  third  day  of  our  -journey.  My  friend  O'Leary  had 
with  his  usual  good  fortune,  become  indispensable  to  his  new  ac- 
quaintance, and  it  was  not  altogether  without  some  little  lurking  ^dis- 
content that  I  perceived  how  much  less  often  my  services  were  called 
in  request  since  his  having  joined  our  party:  his  information  not- 
withstanding its  very  scanty  extent,  was  continually  relied  upon 
and  his  veiy  imperfect  French  everlastingly  called  into  requisition 
to  interpret  a  question  for  the  ladies.  Yes,  thought  I,  "  Othello's 
occupation's  gone;"  one  of  two  things  has  certainly  happened  •  either 
Mrs.  Bingham  and  her  daughter  have  noticed  my  continued  ab- 
straction of  mind,  and  have  attributed  it  to  the  real  cause,  the  pre- 
occupation of  my  affections;  or,  thinking,  on  the  other  hand  that  I 
am  desperately  in  love  with  one  or  the  other  of  them,  have  thought 
that  a  little  show  of  preference  to  Mr.  O'Leary  may  stimulate  meto 
a  proposal  at  once.  In  either  case,  I  resolved  to  lose  no  time  in  tak- 
ing my  leave,  which  there  could  be  no  difficulty  in  doing  now  as 
tbe  ladies  had  reached  their  intended  destination,  and  had  numerous 
tnends  in  Paris  to  advise  and  assist  them;  besides  that  I  had  too 
long  neglected  the  real  object  of  my  trip,  and  should  lose  no  time  in 
finding  out  the  Callonbys,  and  at  once  learn  what  prospect  of  suc- 
cess awaited  me  in  that  quarter.  leaving  my  fair  friends  then  to 
reiresh  themselves  after  the  journey,  and  consigning  Mr.  O'Leary  to 
the  enjoyment  of  his  meerschaum,  through  the  aid  of  which  he  had 
rendered  his  apartment  like  a  Dutch  swamp  in  autumn  the  only 
portion  of  his  own  figure  visible  through  the  mist  being  his  short 
legs  and  heavy  shoes,  1  set  forth  at  Just 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  199 

On  reaching  the  house  in  the  Rue  de  la  Paix,  where  the  Callonbys 
had  resided,  I  learned  that  they  were  still  at  Baden,  and  were  not 
expected  in  Paris  for  some  weeks ;  that  Lord  Kilkee  had  arrived  that 
morning,  and  was  then  dining  at  the  Embassy,  having  left  an  invi- 
tation for  me  to  dine  with  him  on  the  following  day,  if  I  happened 
to  call.  As  I  turned  from  the  door,  uncertain  whither  to  turn  my 
steps,  I  walked  on  unconsciously  toward  the  Boulevard,  and  occu- 
pied as  I  was,  thinking  over  all  the  chances  before  me,  did  not  per- 
ceive where  I  stood  till  the  bright  glare  of  a  large  gas  lamp  over  my 
head  apprised  me  that  I  was  at  the  door  of  the  well-known  Salon 
des  Etrangers,  at  the  corner  of  the  Rue  Richelieu ;  carriages,  cita- 
dines,  and  vigilantes,  were  crowding,  crashing,  and  clattering  on 
all  sides,  as  the  host  of  fashion  and  the  gaming-table  were  hasten- 
ing to  the  champ  de  battaille.  Not  being  a  member  of  the  Salon, 
and  having  little  disposition  to  enter,  if  I  had  been,  I  stood  for  some 
.  minutes  looking  at  the  crowd  as  it  continued  t©  press  on  toward 
the  splendid  and  brilliantly  lighted  stairs,  which  leads  from  the  very 
street,  to  the  rooms  of  this  palace,  for  such,  in  magnificence  and 
luxury  of  its  decorations,  it  really  is.  As  I  was  on  the  very  eve  of 
turning  away,  a  large  and  very  handsome  cab-horse  turned  the  corner 
from  the  balustrade,  with  the  most  perfect  appointment  of  harness 
and  carriage  I  had  seen  for  a  long  time. 

While  I  continued  to  admire  the  taste  and  propriety  of  the  equi- 
page, a  young  man  in  deep  mourning  sprung  from  the  inside,  and 
stood  upon  the  pavement  before  me.  "A  deux  heures,  Charles," 
said  he  to  his  servant,  as  the  cab  turned  slowly  round.  The  voice 
struck  me  as  well  known.  I  waited  till  he  approached  the  lamp,  to 
catch  a  glimpse  of  the  face;  and  what  was  my  surprise  to  recognize 
my  cousin,  Guy  Lorrequer  of  the  10th,  whom  I  had  not  met  with 
for  six  years  before.  My  first  impulse  was  not  to  make  myself 
known  to  him.  Our  mutual  position  with  regard  to  Lady  Jane  was 
so  much  a  mystery,  as  regarded  myself,  that  I  feared  the  result  of 
any  meeting,  until  I  was  sufficiently  aware  of  how  matters  stood,  and 
whether  we  were  to  meet  as  friends  and  relations,  or  rivals,  and  con- 
sequently enemies. 

Before  I  had  time  to  take  my  resolution,  Guy  had  recognized  me, 
and  seizing  me  by  the  hand  with  both  his,  called,  "  Harry,  my  old 
friend,  how  are  you?  how  long  have  you  been  here,  and  never  to  call 
on  me?  Why,  man,  what  is  the  meaning  of  this?"  Before  I  had 
time  to  say  that  I  was  only  a  few  hours  in  Paris,  he  again  interrupted 
me  by  saying,  "  And  how  comes  it  that  you  are  not  in  mourning? 
You  must  surely  have  heard  it."  "Heard  what?"  I  cried,  nearly 
hoarse  from  agitation.  "  Our  poor  old  friend,  Sir  Guy,  didn't  you 
know,  is  dead?"  Only  those  who  have  felt  how  strong  the  ties  of 
kindred  are,  as  they  decrease  in  number,  can  tell  how  this  news  fell 
upon  my  heart..  All  my  poor  uncle's  kindnesses  came  one  by  one 
full  upon  my  memory;  his  affectionate  letters  of  advice;  his 'well- 
meant  chidings,  too,  even  dearer  to  me  than  his  praise  and  approval, 
completely  unmanned  me;  and  I  stood  speechless  and  powerless  be- 
fore my  cousin  as  he  continued  to  detail  to  me  the  rapid  progress  of 
Sir  Guy's  malady,  an  attack  of  gout  in  the  head,  which  carried  him 
off  in  three  days.  Letters  had  been  sent  to  me  in  different  places, 
but  none  reached;  and  at  the  very  moment  the  clerk  of  my  uncle's 


200     '  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

lawyer  was  in  pursuit  of  me  through  the  Highlands,  where  some  mis- 
taken  information  had  induced  him  to  follow  me. 

"  You  are,  therefore,"  continued  Guy,  "  unaware  that  your  uncle 
has  dealt  so  fairly  by  you,  and  indeed  by  both  of  us;  I  have  got  the 
Somersetshire  estates,  which  go  with  the  baronetcy;  but  the  Cum- 
berland property  is  all  yours;  and  I  heartily  wish  you  joy  of  having 
nearly  eight  thousand  per  annum,  and  one  of  the  sweetest  villas  that 
ever  man  fancied  on  Derw  cutwater.  But  come  along  here,"  con- 
tinued he;  and  he  led  me  through  the  crowded  corridor  and  up  the 
wide  stair;  "  I  have  much  to  tell  you,  and  we  can  be  perfectly  alone 
here;  no  one  will  trouble  themselves  with  us."  Unconscious  of  all 
around  me,  I  followed  Guy  along  the  gilded  and  glittering  lobby 
which  led  to  the  salon,  and  it  was  only  as  the  servant  in  rich  livery 
came  forward  to  take  my  hat  and  cane  that  I  remembered  where  I 
was.  Then  the  full  sense  of  dll  I  had  been  listening  to  rushed  upon 
me,  and  the  unfitness,  and  indeed  the  indecency  of  the  place  for 
such  communications  as  we  were  engaged  in,  came  most  forcibly 
before  me.  Sir  Guy,  it  is  true,  always  preferred  my  cousin  to  me; 
he  it  was  who  was  always  destined  to  succeed  both  to  his  title  and 
estates,  and  his  wildness  and  extravagance  had  ever  met  with  a  milder 
rebuke  and  weaker  chastisement  than  my  follies  and  my  misfortunes. 
Yet  still  he  was  my  last  remaining  relative;  and  the  only  one  I  pos- 
sessed in  all  the  world  to  whom  in  any  difficulty  or  trial  I  had  to 
look  up;  and  I  felt,  in  the  very  midst  of  my  newly-acquired  wealth 
and  riches,  poorer  and  more  alone  than  ever  I  had  done  in  my  life- 
time. I  followed  Guy  to  a  small  and  dimly  -lighted  cabinet  off  the 
great  salon,  where,  having  seated  ourselves,  he  proceeded  to  detail  to 
me  the  various  events  which  a  few  short  weeks  had  accomplished. 
Of  himself  he  spoke  but  little,  and  never  once  alluded  to  the  Callon- 
bys  at  all ;  indeed  all  I  could  learn  was  that  he  had  left  the  army, 
and  purposed  remaining  for  the  winter  at  Paris,  where  he  appeared 
to  have  entered  into  all  its  gayety  and  dissipation  at  once. 

"  Of  course,"  said  he,  "  you  will  give  up  '  sodgering'  now;  at  the 
best  it  is  but  poor  sport  after  flve-and- twenty;  and  is  perfectly 
unendurable  when  a  man  has  the  means  of  pushing  himself  in  the 
gay  world;  and  now,  Harry,  let  us  mix  a  little  among  the  mob  here; 
for  Messieurs  les  Banquiers  don't  hold  people  in  estimation  who 
come  here  only  for  the  '  chapons  au  riz, '  and  the  champagne  glacee 
as  we  should  seem  to  do  were  we  to  stay  here  much  longer." 

Such  was  the  whirl  of  my  thoughts,  and  so  great  the  confusion  in 
my  ideas  from  all  I  had  just  heard',  that  I  felt  myself  implicitly  fol- 
lowing every  direction  of  my  cousin,  with  a  child-like  obedience,  of 
the  full  extent  of  which  I  became  only  conscious  when  I  found  my- 
self seated  at  the  table  of  the  sa  on,  between  my  cousin  Guy  and  an  old, 
harcl-visaged,  pale-countenanced  man,  who  he  told  me  in  a  whisper 
was  Vilelfe  the  Minister. 

_  "What  a  study  for  a  man  who  would  watch  the  passions  and  emo- 
tions of  his  fellow-men  would  the  table  of  a  rouge  et  noir  gambling- 
house  present — the  skill  and  dexterity  which  games  of  other  kinds 
require,  being  here  wanting, .  leave  the  player  free  to  the  full  aban- 
donment of  the  passion.  The  interest  is  not  a  gradually  increasing 
or  vacillating  one,  as  fortune  and  knowledge  of  the  game  favor; 


.HARRY    LORREQUER.  301 

the  result  Is  uninfluenced  by  anything  of  his  doing;  with  the  last 
turned  card  of  the  croupier  is  he  rich  or  ruined;  and  thus  in 
the  very  abstraction  of  the  anxiety  is  this  the  most  painfully 
exciting  of  all  gambling  whatever;  the  very  ratttle  of  the  dice- 
box  to  the  hazard  player  is  a  relief;  and  the  thought  that  he  is  in 
some  way  instrumental  in  his  good  or  bad  fortune  gives  a  turn  to  his 
thoughts.  There  is  something  so  like  the  inevitable  character  of 
fate  associated  with  the  result  of  a  chance,  which  you  can  in  no  way 
effect  or  avert,  that  I  have,  notwithstanding  a  strong  bias  for  play, 
ever  dreaded  and  avoided  the  rouge  et  noir  table:  hitherto  prudential 
motives  had  their  share  in  the  resolve;  a  small  loss  at  play  becomes  a 
matter  of  importance  to  a  sub  in  a  marching  regiment ;  and,  there- 
fore, I  was  firm  in  my  determination  to  avoid  the  gambling-table. 
Now  my  fortunes  were  altered;  and  as  I  looked  at  the  heap  of  shin- 
ing louis-d'or,  which  Guy  pushed  before  me  in  exchange  for  a  billet 
de  banque  of  large  amount,  I  felt  the  full  importance  of  my  altered 
position,  mingling  with  the  old  and  long  practiced  prejudices  which 
years  had  been  accumulating  to  fix.  There  is  besides  some  wonder- 
ful fascination  to  most  men  in  the  very  aspect  of  high  play;  to  pit 
your  fortune  against  that  of  another — to  see  whether  or  not  your  luck 
shall  not  exceed  some  other's— are  feelings  that  have  a  place  in  most 
bosoms,  and  are  certainly,  if  not  naturally  existing,  most  easily  gen- 
erated in  the  bustle  and  excitement  of  the  gambling-house.  The 
splendor  of  the  decorations;  the  rich  profusion  of  gilded  ornaments; 
the  large  and  gorgeously  framed  mirrors ;  the  sparkling  lusters,  min- 
gling their  effects  with  the  perfumed  air  of  the  apartment,  filled  with 
orange  trees  and  other  aromatic  shrubs ;  the  dress  of  the  company, 
among  whom  were  many  ladies  in  costumes  not  inferior  to  those  of 
a  court;  the  glitter  of  diamonds ;  the  sparkle  of  stars  and  decorations, 
rendered  more  magical  by  knowing  that  the  wearers  were  names  in 
history.  There,  with  his  round,  but  ample  shoulders,  and  large, 
massive  head,  covered  with  long,  snow-white  hair,  stands  Talley- 
rand, the  maker  and  unmaker  of  kings,  watching  with  a  look  of  un- 
concealed anxiety  the  progress  of  his  game.  Here  is  Soult,  with  his 
dogged  look  and  beetled  brow ;  there  stands  Balzac,  the  author ;  his 
gains  here  are  less  derived  from  the  betting  than  the  bettors ;  he  is 
evidently  making  his  own  of  some  of  them,  while,  in  the  seeming 
bonhomie  of  his  careless  manner  and  easy  abandon,  they  scruple  not 
to  trust  him  with  anecdotes  and  traits  that  from  the  crucible  of  his 
fiery  imagination  come  forth  like  the  purified  gold  from  the  furnace. 
And  there— look  at  that  old  and  weather-beaten  man,  with  gray  eye- 
brows and  mustaches,  who  throws  from  the  breast-pocket  of  his 
frock,  ever  and  anon,  a  handful  of  gold  pieces  upon  the  tabls ;  he 
evidently  neither  knows  nor  cares  for  the  amount,  for  the  banker  him 
self  is  obliged  to  count  over  the  stake  for  him — that  is  Blucher,  the 
never-wanting  attendant  at  the  Salon ;  he  has  been  an  immense  loser, 
but  plays  on  with  the  same  stern  perseverance  with  which  he  would 
pour  his  bold  cavalry  through  a  ravine  torn  by  artillery;  he  stands 
by  the  still  waning  chance  with  a  courage  that  never  falters. 

One  strong  feature  of  the  leveling  character  of  a  taste  for  play  has 
never  ceased  to  impress  me  most  forcibly— not  only  do  the  individual 
peculiarities  of  the  man  give  way  before  the  all-absorbing  passion — 
but  stranger  still,  the  very  boldest  traits  of  nationality  even  fade  and 


202  HARRY    LORREQTJER. 

disappear  before  it;  and  man  seems,  under  the  high-pressure  power 
of  this  greatest  of  all  stimulants,  resolved  into  a  most  abstract  state 
Among  all  the  traits  which  distinguish  Frenchmen  from  natives  of 
every  other  country,  none  is  more  prominent  than  a  kind  of  never- 
failing  elasticity  of  temperament,  which  seems  almost  to  defy  all  the 
power  of  misfortune  to  depress.  Let  what  will  happen,  the  French- 
man seems  to  possess  some  strong  resource  within  himself,  in  his 
ardent  temperament  upon  which  he  can  draw  at  will,  and  whether 
on  the  day  after  a  defeat,  the  moment  of  being  deceived  in  his  strong- 
est hopes  of  returned  affection— the  overthrow  of  some  long-cher- 
ished ivish — it  matters  not — he  never  gives  way  entirely;  but  see 
him  at  the  gaming-table— watch  the  intense,  the  aching  anxiety  with 
which  his  eye  follows  every  card  as  it  falls  from  the  hand  of  the 
croupier— behold  the  look  of  cold  despair  that  tracks  his  stake  as 
the  banker  rakes  it  in  among  his  gains— and  you  will  at  once  per- 
ceive that  here,  at  least,  his  wonted  powers  fail  him.  No  jest  escapes 
the  lips  of  one,  that  would  badinet  upon  the  steps  of  the  guillotine. 
The  mocker  who  would  jeer  at  the  torments  of  revolution,  stands 
like  a  coward,  quailing  before  the  impassive  eye  and  pale  cheek  of  a 
croupier.  While  I  continued  to  occupy  myself  by  observing  the 
different  groups  about  me,  I  had  been  almost  mechanically  following 
the  game,  placing  at  each  deal  some  gold  upon  the  table;  the  result 
however  had  interested  me  so  slightly,  that  it  was  only  by  remarking 
the  attention  my  game  had  excited  in  others,  that  my  own  was 
drawn  toward  it.  I  then  perceived  that  I  had  permitted  my  win- 
nings to  accumulate  upon  the  board,  and  that  in  the  very  deal  then 
commencing,  I  had  a  stake  of  nearly  five  hundred  pounds  upon  the 
deal. 

||  Faites  votre  jeu,  le  jeuestfait,"  said  the  croupier;  "  trente-deux. " 
"  You  have  lost,  by  Jove,"  said  Guy,  in  a  low  whisper,  in  which 
I  could  detect  some  trait  of  agitation. 

"  Trente  et  une,"  said  the  croupier.     "  Rouge  perd,  et  couJeur." 
There  was  a  regular  buzz  of  wonder  through  the  room  at  my  ex- 
traordinary luck,  for  thus  with  every  chance  against  me,  I  had  won 
again. 

As  the  croupier  placed  the  billets  de  banque  upon  the  table,  I 
overheard  the  muttered  commendations  of  an  old  veteran  behind  me 
upon  the  coolness  and  judgment  of  my  play;  so  much  for  fortune, 
thought  I,  my  judgment  consists  in  a  perfect  ignorance  of  the 
chances,  and  my  coolness  is  merely  a  thorough  indifference  to  suc- 
cess. Whether  it  was  now  that  the  flattery  hud  its  effect  upon  me, 
or  that  the  passion  for  play,  so  long  dormant,  had  suddenly  seized 
hold  upon  me,  I  know  not,  but  my  attention  became  from  that 
moment  riveted  upon  the  game,  and  I  played  every  deal.  Guy,  who 
had  been  from  the  first  betting  with  the  indifferent  success  which  I 
have  so  often  observed  to  attend  upon  the  calculations  of  old  and 
experienced  gamblers,  now  gave  up,  and  employed  himself  merely  in 
watching  my  game. 
"Harry,"  said  he,  at  last,  "  I  am  completely  puzzled  as  to 


HAKRY    LORREQUER.  203 

"Fifteen  thousand  francs!"  said  the  croupier,  with  a  look  of 
surprise. 

"  Then  be  it,"  said  I,  "  quinze  mille  francs,  rouge." 

In  a  moment  the  rouge  won,  and  the  second  deal  I  repeated  the 
bet,  and  so  continuing  on  with  the  like  success;  when  I  was  prepar 
ing  my  rouleau  for  the  fifth,  the  banker  rose,  and  sajring: 

'•  Messieurs,  la  banque  est  ferine  pour  ce  sou1,"  proceeded  to  lock 
his  cassette,  and  closed  the  table. 

"You  are  satisfied  now,"  said  Guy,  rising;  "  you  see  you  have 
broke  the  bank,  and  a  veiy  pretty  incident  to  commence  with  on 
your  first  introduction  to  a  campaign  in  Paris." 

Having  changed  my  gold  for  notes,  I  stuffed  them  with  an  air  of 
well-affected  carelessness  into  my  pocket,  and  strolled  through  the 
Salon,  where  I  had  now  become  an  object  of  considerably  more  in- 
terest than  all  the  marshals  and  ministers  about  me. 

"  Now,  Hal,"  said  Guy;  "  I'll  just  order  our  supper  in  the  cabi- 
net, and  join  you  in  a  moment." 

As  I  remained  for  some  minutes  awaiting  Guy's  return,  my  atten- 
tion was  drawn  toward  a  crowd  in  a  smaller  saloon,  among  whom 
the  usual  silent  decorum  of  the  play-table  seemed  held  in  but  small 
respect,  for  every  instant  some  burst  of  hearty  laughter  or  some  ex- 
pression of  joy  or  anger  burst  forth,  by  which  I  immediately  per- 
ceived that  they  were  the  votaries  of  the  roulette  table,  a  game  at 
which  the  strict  propriety  and  etiquette  ever  maintained  at  rouge  et 
noir,  are  never  exacted.  As  I  pressed  near,  to  discover  the  cause  of 
the  mirth,  which  every  moment  seemed  to  augment,  guess  my  sur- 
prise to  perceive  among  the  foremost  rank  of  the  players,  my  ac- 
quaintance, Mr.  O'Leary,  whom  I  at  that  moment  believed  to  be  solac- 
ing himself  with  his  meerschaum  at  Meurice's!  My  astonishment  at 
how  he  obtained  admission  to  the  Salon  was  even  less  than  my  fear 
of  his  recognizing  me.  At  no  time  is  it  agreeable  to  find  that  the 
man  who  is  regarded  as  the  buffo  of  a  party  turns  out  to  be  your 
friend,  but  still  less  is  this  so,  when  the  individual  claiming  ac- 
quaintance with  you  presents  any  striking  absurdity  in  his  dress  or 
manner,  strongly  at  contrast  with  the  persons  and  things  about  him; 
and  thus  it  now  happened — Mr.  O'Leary 's  external  man,  as  we  met 
him  on  the  Calais  road,  with  its  various  accompaniments  of  blouse- 
cap,  spectacles,  and  tobacco-pipe,  were  nothing  very  outre  or  re- 
markable, but  when  the  same  figure  presents  itself  among  the  ele- 
gants of  the  Parisian  world,  redolent  of  eau  de  Portugal,  and  superb 
in  the  glories  of  brocade  waistcoats  and  velvet  coats,  the  thing  was 
too  absurd,  and  I  longed  to  steal  away  before  any  chance  should 
present  itself  of  a  recognition.  This,  however,  was  impossible,  as 
the  crowd  from  the  other  table  were  all  gathered  round  us,  and  I  was 
obliged  to  stand  fast,  and  trust  that  the  excitement  of  the  game,  in 
which  he  appeared  to  be  thoroughly  occupied,  might  keep  his  eye 
fixed  on  another  quarter.  I  now  observed  that  the  same  scene  in  which 
I  had  so  lately  been  occupied  at  the  rouge  et  noir  table,  was  enacting 
here,  under  rather  different  circumstances.  Mr.  O'Leary  was  the 
only  player,  as  I  had  just  been — not,  however,  because  his  success 
absorbed  all  the  interest  of  the  bystanders,  but  that,  unfortunately, 
his  constant  want  of  it  elicited  some  strong  expression  of  discontent 
and  mistrust  from  him,  which  excited  the  loud  laughter  of  the  others} 


204  HAKRY    LORREQUER. 

but,  of  which,  from  his  great  anxiety  in  his  game,  he  seemed  totalh, 
unconscious. 

"  Faites  votre  jeu,  messieurs,"  said. the  croupier. 

"  Wait  a  bit  till  I  change  this,"  said  Mr.  O'Leary,  producing  an 
English  sovereign.  .  The  action  interpreted  his  wishes,  and  the 
money  was  converted  into  cmipons  dejeu.  I  now  discovered  one 
great  cause  of  the  mirth  of  the  bystanders,  at  least  the  English  por- 
tion of  them.  Mr.  O'Leary,  when  placing  his  money  upon  the  table, 
observed  the  singular  practice  of  announcing  aloud  the  amount  of 
his  bet,  which,  for  his  own  information,  he  not  only  reduced  to  En- 
glish, but  also  Irish  currency.  Thus  the  stillness  of  the  room  was 
every  instant  broken  by  a  strong  Irish  accent,  pronouncing  some- 
thing of  this  sort:  "five  francs,"  "four  and  a  penny;"  "ten 
francs,"  "  eight  and  three  ha'pence. "  The  amusement  thus  caused 
was  increased  by  the  excitement  his  losses  threw  him  into.  He  now 
ceased  to  play  for  several  times,  when  at  last  he  made  an  offering  of 
his  usual  stake. 

"  Perd,"  said  the  croupier,  raking  in  the  piece  with  a  contempt- 
uous air  at  the  smallness  of  the  bet,  and  in  no  way  pleased  that  the 

event  the  other  players  from 

)ivil  another  song  you  sing 
you're  not  cheating  all  the 


uv>uo  au.   ciu   iric  ouiauiic»»  Ui     tile   UUl,    ULIU    111    11U   WttJ   pltJSlSKU     iUdl  IU.K 

interest  Mr.  O'Leary  excited  should  prevent  the  other  players  from 
betting. 

"Perd,"  said  O'Leary,   "again.     Divil  another  song  you  sing 
than  'perd,'  and  I'm  not  quite  clear 


while— only,  God  help  you  if  you  are-!" 

As  he  so  said,  the  head  of  a  huge  black-thorn  stick  was  half  pro- 
truded across  the  table,  causing  renewed  mirth ;  for,  among  other 
regulations,  every  cane,  however  trifling,  is  always  demanded  at  the 
door;  and  thus  a  new  subject  of  astonishment  arose  as  to  how  he  had 
succeeded  in  carrying  it  with  him  into  the  Salon. 

"  Here's  at  you  again,"  said  O'Leary,  regardless  of  the  laughter, 
and  covering  three  or  four  numbers  with  lu&jetons. 

Round  went  the  ball  once  more  and  once  more  he  lost. 

"  Look  now,  divil  a  lie  in  it,  he  makes  them  go  wherever  he 
pleases.  I'll  take  a  turn  now  at  the  tables;  fair  play's  a  jewel— and 
we'll  see  how  you'll  get  on." 

So  saying,  he  proceeded  to  insinuate  himself  into  the  chair  of  the 
croupier,  whom  he  proposed  to  supersede,  by  no  very  gentle  means. 
This  was  of  course  resisted,  and  as  the  loud  mirth  of  the  bystanders 
grew  more  and  more  boisterous,  the  cries  of  "  a  la  porte!  a  la  porte!" 
from  the  friends  of  the  bank  rung  through  the  crowd. 

"  Go  it,  Pat — go  it,  Pat!"  said  Guy,  over  my  shoulder,  who 
seemed  to  take  a  prodigious  interest  in  the  proceedings. 

At  this  unexpected  recognition  of  his  nativity,  for  Mr.  O'Leary 
never  suspected  he  could  be  discovered  by  his  accent,  he  looked 
across  the  table  and  caught  my  eye  at  once. 

"  Oh,  I'm  safe  now!  Stand  by  me,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  and  we'll  clear 
the  room!" 

So  saying,  and  without  further  provocation,  he  upset  the  croupier, 
cliair  and  all,  with  one  sudden  jerk  upon  the  floor,  and  giving  a  tre- 
rcendous  kick  to  the  cassette,  sent  all  the  five-franc  pieces  flying  over 
fcim;  he  then  jumped  upon  the  table,  and  brandishing  his  blackthorn 
trough  the  ormolu  luster,  scattered  the  wax-lights  on  all  sides,  ac- 
companying the  exploit  by  a  yell  that  would  have  called  up  all  Con- 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  205 

nemara  at  midnight,  if  it  had  only  been  heard  there.  In  an  instant 
the  gendarmes,  always  sufficiently  near  to  be  called  in  if  required, 
came  pouring  into  the  room,  and  supposing  the  whole  affair  had 
been  a  preconcerted  thing  to  obtain  possession  of  the  money  hi  the 
bank,  commenced  capturing  different  members  of  the  company  who 
appeared,  by  enjoying  the  confusion,  to  be  favoring  and  assisting  it. 
My  cousin  Guy  was  one  of  the  first  so-treatel — a  proceeding  to  which 
he  responded  by  an  appeal  rather  in  favor  with  most  Englishmen, 
and  at  once  knocked  down  the  gendarme;  this  was  the  signal  for  a 
general  engagement,  and  accordingly,  before  an  explanation  could 
possibly  be  attempted,  a  most  terrific  combat  ensued,  the  Frenchmen 
in  the  room  siding  with  the  gendarmerie,  and  making  common 
cause  against  the  English,  who,  although  greatly  inferior  in  number, 
possessed  considerable  advantage  from  long  habit  hi  street  rowi  and 
boxing  encounters.  :  As  for  myself,  I  had  the  good  fortune  to  be 
pitted  against  a  very  pursy  and  unwieldy  Frenchman,  who  sacre'd 
to  admiration,  but  never  put  in  a  single  blow  at  me.  While,  there- 
fore, I  amused  myself  practicing  what  old  Cribb  called  "  the  one, 
two  "  upon  his  fat  carcass,  I  had  abundant  tune  and  opportunity  to 
watch  all  that  was  doing  about  me,  and  truly  a  more  ludicrous  affair 
I  never  beheld.  Imagine  about  fifteen  or  sixteen  young  Englishmen, 
most  of  them  powerful,  athletic  fellows,  driving  an  indiscriminate 
mob  of  about  five  times  their  number  before  them,  who,  with  cour- 
age enough  to  resist,  were  yet  so  totally  ignorant  of  the  boxing  art, 
that  they  retreated,  pell-mell,  before  the  battering  phalanx  of  their 
sturdy  opponents — the  most  ludicrous  figure  of  all  being  Mr. 
O'Leary  himself,  who,  standing  upon  the  table,  laid  about  him  with 
a  brass  luster  that  he  had  unstrung,  and  did  considerable  mischief 
with  this  novel  instrument  of  warfare,  crying  out  the  entire  time. 
"  Murder  every  mother's  son  of  them!"  "  Give  them  another  taste 
of  Waterloo!"  Just  as  he  had  uttered  the  last  patriotic  sentiment, 
he  received  a  slight  admonition  from  behind,  by  the  point  of  a  gen- 
darme's sword,  which  made  him  leap  from  the  table  with  the  alac- 
rity of  a  harlequin,  and  come  plump  down  among  the  thickest  of  the 
fray.  My  attention  was  now  directed  elsewhere,  for  above  all  the  din 
and  "  tapage  "  of  the  encounter  I  could  plainly  hear  the  row-dow- 
dow  of  the  drums,  and  the  measured  tread  of  troops  approaching, 
and  at  once  guessed  that  a  reinforcement  of  the  gendarmerie  were 
coming  up.  Behind  me  there  was  a  large  window,  with  a  heavy 
scarlet  curtain  before  it;  my  resolution  was  at  once  taken;  I  floored 
my  antagonist,  whom  I  had  till  now  treated  with  the  most  merciful 
forbearance,  and  immediately  sprung  behind  the  cur  tain.  A  second's 
consideration  showed  that  in  the  search  that  must  ensue  this  would 
afford  no  refuge,  so  I  at  once  opened  the  sash,  and  endeavored  to 
ascertain  at  what  height  I  was  above  the  ground  beneath  me ;  the 
night  was  so  dark  that  I  could  see  nothing,  but  judging  from  the 
leaves  and  twigs  that  reached  to  the  window,  that  it  was  a  garden 
beneath,  and  auguring  from  the  perfumed  smell  of  the  shrubs,  that 
they  could  not  be  tall  trees,  I  resolved  to  leap,  a  resolve  I  had  little 
time  to  come  to,  for  the  step  of  the  soldiers  was  already  heard  upon 
the  stair.  Fixing  my  hat  then  down  upon  my  brows,  and  buttoning 
my  coat  tightly,  I  let  myself  down  from  the  window-sill  by  my 
hands,  and  fell  upon  my  legs  iu  the  soft  earth  of  the  garden,  safo 


206  HAREY    LORREQUER. 

and  unhurt.  From  the  increased  clamor  and  din  overhead,  I  could 
learn  the  affray  was  at  its  height,  and  had  little  difficulty  in  detect- 
ing the  sonorous  accent  and  wild  threats  of  my  friend  Mr.  O'Leary 
high  above  all  the  other  sounds  around  him.  I  did  not  wait  long, 
however,  to  enjoy  them ;  but  at  once  set  about  securing  my  escape 
from  my  present  bondage.  In  this  I  had  little  difficulty,  for  I  was 
directed  by  a  light  to  a  small  door,  which,  as  I  approached,  I  found 
that  it  led  into  the  den  of  the  Concierge,  and  also  communicated  by 
another  door  with  the  street.  I  opened  it,  therefore,  at  once,  and 
was  in  the  act  of  opening  the  second,  when  I  felt  myself  seized  by 
the  collar  by  a  strong  hand;  and  on  turning  round  saw  the  sturdy 
figure  of  the  Concierge  himself  with  a  drawn  bayonet  within  a  few 
inches  of  my  throat:  "  Tenez,  mon  ami,"  said  I,  quietly,  and  plac- 
ing half  a  dozen  louis,  some  of  my  recent  spoils,  in  his  hand,  at  once 
satisfied  him  that,  even  if  I  were  a  robber,  I  was  at  least  one  who 
understood  and  respected  the  convenances  of  society.  He  at  once 
relinquished  his  hold  and  dropped  his  weapon,  and  pulling  off  his 
cap  with  one  hand,  to  draw  the  cord  which  opened  the  Porte  Co- 
chere  with  the  other,  bowed  rne  politely  to  the  street,  I  had  scarcely 
had  time  to  insinuate  myself  into  the  dense  mass  of  people  whom  the 
noise  and  confusion  within  had  assembled  around  the  house,  when 
the  double  door  of  the  building  opened,  and  a  file  of  gendarmerie 
came  forth,  leading  between  them  my  friend  Mr.  O'Leary  and  some 
others  of  the  rioters— among  whom  I  rejoiced  to  find  my  cousin  did 
not  figure.  If  I  were  to  judge  from  his  disordered  habiliments  and 
scarred  visage,  Mr.  O'Leary 's  resistance  to  the  constituted  authori- 
ties must  have  been  a  vigorous  one;  and  the  drollery  of  his  appear- 
ance was  certainly  not  decreased  by  his  having  lost  the  entire  brim  of 
his  hat— the  covering  of  his  head  bearing,  under  these  distressing  cir- 
cumstances, a  strong  resemblance  to  a  saucepan. 

As  I  could  not  at  that  moment  contribute  in  any  way  to  his  rescue, 
I  determined  on  the  following  day  to  be  present  at  his  examination 
and  render  him  all  the  assistance  in  my  power.  Meanwhile,  I  re- 
turned to  Meurice's,  thinking  of  every  adventure  of  the  evening  much 
more  than  of  my  own  changed  condition  and  altered  fortunes. 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 

PABIB. 

THE  first  thing  which  met  my  eye,  when  walking  in  the  morning, 
after  the  affair  at  the  Salon,  was  the  rouleau  of  billets  de  banque 
which  I  had  won  at  play;  and  it  took  several  minutes  before  I  could 
persuade  myself  that  the  entire  recollection  of  the  evening  had  any 
more  solid  foundation  than  a  heated  brain  and  fevered  imagination. 

The  sudden  spring  from  being  a  subaltern  in  the  — th,  with  a  few 
hundreds  per  annum — "  pour  tout  potage,"  to  becoming  the  verita- 
ble proprietor  of  several  thousands,  with  a  handsome  house  in  Cum- 
berland, was  a  consideration  which  I  could  scarcely  admit  into  my 
mind — so  fearful  was  I,  that  the  very  first  occurrence  of  the  day 
should  dispel  the  illusion,  and  throw  me  back  into  the  dull  reality 
which  I  was  hoping  to  escape  from. 

There  is  no  adags  more  true  than  the  old  Latin  one — "  that  what 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  207 

tve  wish,  we  readily  believe;"  so,  I  had  little  difficulty  in  convincing 
myself  that  all  was  as  I  desired — although,  certainly,  mv  confused 
memory  of  the  past  evening  contributed  little  to  that  conviction.  It 
was,  then,  arnid  a  veiy  whirl  of  anticipated  pleasures,  and  new 
schemes  for  enjoying  life,  that  I  sat  down  to  a  breakfast,  at  which, 
that  I  might  lose  no  time  in  commencing  my  race,  I  had  ordered  the 
most  recherche  viands  which  even  French  cookery  can  accomplish 
for  the  occasion. 

My  plans  were  soon  decided  upon.  I  resolved  to  remain  only  long 
enough  in  Paris  to  provide  myself  with  a  comfortable  traveling  car- 
riage— secure  a  good  courier — and  start  for  Baden ;  when  I  trusted 
that  my  pretensions,  whatever  favor  they  might  have  been  once  re- 
ceived with,  would  certainly  now,  at  least,  be  listened  to  with  more 
prospect  of  being  successful. 

I  opened  the  Galignani's  paper  of  the  day,  to  direct  me  in  my 
search,  and  had  scarcely  read  a  few  lines  before  a  paragraph  caught 
my  eye,  which  not  a  little  amused  me;  it  was  headed — Serious  riot 
at  tTie  Salon  des  Strangers,  and  attempt  to  rob  the  Bank: 

"  Last  evening,  among  the  persons  who  presented  themselves  at 
the  table  of  this  fashionable  resort,  were  certain  individuals,  who,  by 
their  names  and  dress,  bespoke  anything  rather  than  the  rank  and 
condition  of  those  who  usually  resort  there,  and  whose  admission  is 
still  unexplained,  notwithstanding  the  efforts  of  the  police  to  unravel 
the  mystery.  The  proprietors  of  the  bank  did  not  fail  to  remark 
these  persons;  but  scrupled,  from  fear  of  disturbing  the  propriety  of 
the  Salon,  to  take  the  necessary  steps  for  their  exclusion — reserving 
their  attention  to  the  adoption  of  precautions  against  such  intrusion 
in  future — unfortunately,  as  it  turned  out  eventually,  for,  toward 
eleven  o'clock,  one  of  these  individuals,  having  lost  a  considerable 
sum  at  play,  proceeded  in  a  very  violent  and  outrageous  manner  to 
denounce  the  bank,  and  went  so  far  as  to  accuse  the  croupier  of 
cheating.  This  language  having  failed  to  excite  the  disturbance  it 
was  evidently  intended  to  promote,  was  soon  followed  up  by  a  most 
dreadful  personal  attack  upon  the  banquier,  in  which  he  was  thrown 
from  his  seat,  and  the  cassette,  containing  several  thousand  francs  in 
gold  and  notes,  immediately  laid  hold  of.  The  confusion  now  be- 
came  considerable,  and  it  wag  apparent  that  the  whole  had  been  a  pre- 
concerted scheme.  Several  persons,  leaping  upon  the  table,  at- 
tempted  to  extinguish  the  great  luster  of  the  salon,  in  which  bold 
attempt  they  were  most  spiritedly  resisted  by  some  of  the  other  play- 
ers and  the  gendarmes,  who  by  this  time  had  arrived  in  force.  The 
riot  was  quelled  after  a  prolonged  and  desperate  resistance,  and  the 
rioters,  with  the  exception  of  two,  were  captured,  and  conveyed  to 
prison,  where  they  await  the  result  of  a  judicial  investigation — of 
which  we  shall  not  fail  to  lay  the  particulars  before  our  readers. 

"  Since  our  going  to  press,  we  have  learned  that  one  of  the  ring- 
leaders in  this  vile  scheme  is  a  noted  English  escroc—a  swindler  who 

was  already  arrested  at  C for  traveling  with  a  false  passport;  but 

who  contrives,  by  some  collusion  with  another  of  the  gang,  to  evade 
the  local  authorities.  If  this  be  the  case,  we  trust  he  will  be  speedily 
detected  and  brought  to  punishment. ' ' 

Whatever  amusement  1  had  found  in  reading  the  commencing 
portion  of  this  ridiculous  misstatement,  the  allusion  in  the  latter  part 


208  HAKRT    LORREQUER. 

by  no  means  afforded  me  equal  pleasure;  and  I  saw,  in  one  rapid 
glance,  how  much  annoyance,  and  how  many  delays  and  impedi- 
ments, a  charge,  even  of  this  ridiculous  nature,  might  give  rise  to  in 
my  present  circumstances.  My  passport,  however,  will  settle  all — 
thought  I— as  I  thrust  my  hand  toward  my  pocket,  in  which  I  had 
placed  it  along  with  some  letters. 

Guess  my  misery  to  discover  that  the  whole  of  the  pocket  had  been 
cut  away,  probably  in  the  hope  of  obtaining  the  billets  de  banque  I 
had  won  at  play,  but  which  I  had  changed  from  that  pocket  to  a 
breast  one  on  leaving  the  table.  This  at  once  led  me  to  suspect  that 
there  might  be  some  truth  in  the  suspicion  of  the  newspaper  writer 
of  a  preconcerted  scheme,  and  at  once  explained  to  me  what  had 
puzzled  me  much  before— the  extreme  rapidity  with  which  the  ele- 
ments of  discord  were  propagated,  for  the  whole  affair  was  the  work 
of  a  few  seconds.  While  I  continued  to  meditate  on  these  matters, 
the  waiter  entered  with  a  small  note  in  an  envelope,  which  a  com- 
missionaire had  just  left  at  the  hotel  for  me,  and  went  away,  saying 
there  was  no  answer.  I  opened  it  hastily,  and  read: 

'  DEAR  H :    The  confounded  affair  of  last  night  has  induced  me 

to  leave  this  for  a  few  days:  besides  that  I  have  obtained  a  most 
excellent  reason  for  absenting  myself  in  the  presence  of  a  black  eye, 
which  will  prevent  my  appearance  in  public  for  a  week  to  come. 
As  you  are  a  stranger  here,  you  aeed  not  fear  being  detected.  With 
all  its  desagrements,  1  can't  help  laughing  at  the  adventure,  and  I 
am  heartily  glad  to  have  had  the  opportunity  of  displaying  old  Jack- 
son's science  upon  those  wretched  gendarmes. 

"  Yours  truly,  G.  L." 

This,  certainly,  thought  I,  improves  my  position.  Here  is  my 
cousin  Guy — the  only  one  to  whom,  in  any  doubt  or  difficulty  here, 
I  could  refer— here  he  is — flown — without  letting  me  know  where  to 
address  him  or  find  him  out.  I  rang  my  bell  hastily,  and  having 
written  a  line  on  my  card,  requesting  Lord  Kilkee  to  come  to  me  as 
soon  as  he  could,  dispatched  it  to  the  Kue  de  la  Paix.  The  messen- 
ger soon  returned  with  an  answer,  that  Lord  Kilkee  had  been  obliged 
to  leave  Paris  late  the  evening  before,  having  received  some  import- 
ant letters  <rom  Baden.  My  anxiety  now  became  greater.  I  did  not 
know  but  that  the  moment  I  ventured  to  leave  the  hotel  I  should  be 
recognized  by  some  of  the  witnesses  of  the  evening's  fray;  and  all 
thoughts  of  succoring  poor  O'Leary  were  completely  forgotten  in 
my  fear  for  the  annoyances  the  whole  of  this  ridiculous  affair  might 
involve  me  in.  Without  any  decisions  as  to  my  future  steps,  I 
dressed  myself,  and  proceeded  to  pay  my  respects  to  Mrs.  Bingham 
and  her  daughter,  who  were  in  the  same  hotel,  and  whom  I  had  not 
seen  since  our  arrival. 

As  I  entered  the  drawing-room,  I  was  surprised  to  find  Miss  Bing- 
ham alone.  She  appeared  to  have  been  weeping— at  least,  the  efforts 
she  made  to  appear  easy  and  in  good  spirits  contrasted  a  good  deal 
with  the  expression  of  her  features  as  I  came  in.  To  my  inquiries 
for  Mrs.  Bingham,  I  received  for  Answer  (hat  the  friends  Mrs.  Bing- 
ham had  expected  having  left  a  few  clays  before  for  Baden,  she  had 
resolved  on  following  them,  and  had  now  merely  driven  out  to  make 


HARKY    LOERBQUEB,  200 

A  few  purchases  before  her  departure,  which  was  to  take  place  in  the 
morning. 

There  is  something  so  sad  in  the  thought  of  being  deserted  and  left 
by  one's  friends  under  any  circumstances,  that  I  cannot  express  how 
much  this  intelligence  affected  me.  It  seemed,  too,  like  the  last 
stroke  of  bad  news  filling  up  the  full  measure,  that  I  was  to  be  sud- 
denly deprived  of  the  society  of  the  very  few  friends  about  me,  just 
as  I  stood  most  in  need  of  them. 

Whether  or  not  Miss  Bingham  noticed  my  embarrassment,  I  cannot 
say ;  but  certainly  she  seemed  not  displeased,  and  there  was  in  the 
half-encouraging  tone  of  her  manner  something  which  led  me  to  sus- 
pect that  she  was  not  dissatisfied  with  the  impression  her  news 
seemed  to  produce  upon  me. 

Without  at  all  alluding  to  my  own  improved  fortune,  or  to  the 
events  of  the  preceding  night,  I  began  to  talk  over  the  coming  jour- 
ney and  expressed  my  sincere  regret  that,  having  lost  my  passport 
under  circumstances  which  might  create  some  delay  in  retrieving  it, 
I  could  not  join  their  party  as  I  should  otherwise  have  done. 

Miss  Bingham  heard  this  speech  with  rather  more  emotion  than 
so  simple  a  declaration  was  calculated  to  produce;  and,  while  she 
threw  down  her  eyes  beneath  their  long,  dark  lashes,  and  colored 
slightly,  asked: 

"  And  did  you  really  wish  to  come  with  us?" 

"  Undoubtedly,"  said  I. 

"  And  is  there  no  other  objection  than  the  passport?" 

"  None  whatever,"  said  I,  wanning  as  I  spoke,  for  the  interest  she 
appeared  to  take  in  me  completely  upset  all  my  calculations,  besides 
that  I  had  never  seen  her  looking  so  handsome,  and  that,  as  the 
French  wisely  remark,  "  vaut  toujours  quelque  chose." 

"  Oh,  then,  pray  come  with  us,  which  you  can  do,  for  mamma  has 
just  got  her  passport  for  her  nephew  along  with  her  own ;  and  as 
we  really  don't  want  him  nor  he  us,  we  shall  both  be  better  pleased 
to  be  free  of  each  other,  and  you  can  easily  afterward  have  your  own 
forwarded  to  Baden  by  post." 

"  Ah,  but,"  said  I,  "  how  shall  I  be  certain,  if  I  take  so  nattering 
an  offer,  that  you  will  forgive  me  for  filling  up  the  place  of  the  dear 
cousin ;  for,  if  I  conjecture  aright,  it  is  '  Le  Cher  Edouard  '  that  pur- 
poses to  be  your  companion." 

"  Yes,  you  have  guessed  quite  correctly;  but  you  must  not  tax  me 
with  inconsistency,  but  really  I  have  grown  quite  tired  of  my  poor 
cousin  since  I  saw  him  last  night." 

"  And  you  used  to  admire  him  prodigiously." 

"  Well,  well,  that  is  all  true;  but  I  do  so  no  longer." 

"Eh!  perche,"  said  I,  looking  cunningly  in  her  eye. 

"  For  reasons  that  Mr.  Lorrequer  shall  never  know,  if  he  has  to 
ask  them,"  said  the  poor  girl  covering  her  eyes  with  her  hands  and 
sobbing  bitterly. 

What  I  thought,  said,  or  did,  upon  this  occasion,  with  all  my  most 
sincere  desire  to  make  a  "  clean  breast  of  it  in  these  Confessions,"  I 
know  not;  but  this  I  do  know,  that  two  hours  after,  I  found  myself 
still  sitting  upon  the  sofa  beside  M^s  Bingham,  whom  I  had  been 
culling  Emily  all  the  while,  and  talking  more  of  personal  matters  aw3 


210  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

my  own  circumstances  than  is  ever  safe  or  prudent  for  a  young  man 
to  with  any  lady  under  the  age  of  his  mother. 

All  I  can  now  remember  of  this  interview,  is  the  fact  of  having 
arranged  my  departure  in  the  manner  proposed  by  Miss  Bingham — a 
proposition  to  which  I  acceded  with  an  affectation  of  satisfaction  that 
I  fear  went  very  far  to  deceive  my  fair  friend.  "Not  that  the  pleas- 
ure I  felt  in  the  prospect  was  altogether  feigned;  but  certainly  the 
liabit  of  being  led  away  by  the  whim  and  temper  of  the  moment  had 
so  much  become  part  of  my  nature,  that  I  had  long  since  despaired 
of  ever  guarding  myself  against  the  propensity  I  had  acquired,  of  fol- 
lowing every  lead  which  any  one  might  throw  out  for  me.  And 
thus,  as  poor  Harry  Lorrequer  was  ever  the  first  man  to  get  into  a 
row  at  the  suggestion  of  a  friend,  so  he  only  waited  the  least  possible 
pressing  on  any  occasion,  to  involve  himself  in  any  scrape  or  misfort- 
une that  presented  itself,  provided  there  was  only  some  one  good 
eoough  to  advise  him  to  do  so. 

As  I  entered  my  own  room,  to  make  preparations  for  my  depart- 
ure, I  could  not  help  thinking  over  all  the  events  thus  crowded  into 
the  space  of  a  few  hours.  My  sudden  possession  of  wealth — my 
prospects  at  Callonby  still  undecided— my  scrape  at  the  Salon— my 
late  interview  with  Miss  Bingham,  in  which  I  had  only  stopped 
short  of  a  proposal  to  marry,  were  almost  sufficient  to  occupy  any 
reasonable  mind;  and  so  I  was  beginning  to  suspect,  when  the  waiter 
informed  me  that  the  Commissaire  of  Police  was  in  waiting  below, 
and  wished  to  speak  to  me.  Affecting  some  surprise  at  the  request, 
which  1  at  once  perceived  the  object  of,  I  desired  him  to  be  intro- 
duced. I  was  quite  correct  in  my  guess.  The  information  of  my 
being  concerned  in  the  affair  at  the  Salon  had  been  communicated  to 
the  authorities,  and  the  Commissaire  had  orders  to  obtain  bail  for  my 
appearance  at  the  Tribunal  de  Justice  on  that  day  week,  or  commit 
me  at  once  to  prison.  The  Commissaire  politely  gave  me  till  even- 
ing to  procure  the  required  bail,  satisfying  himself  that  he  could 
adopt  measures  to  prevent  my  escape,  and  took  his  leave.  He  had 
scarcely  gone,  when  Mr.  Edward  Bingham  was  announced — the  rea- 
son for  this  visit  I  could  not  so  easily  divine;  but  I  had  little  time 
allowed  for  my  conjectures,  as  the  same  instant  a  very  smart,  dapper 
little  gentleman  presented  him,  dressed  in  all  the  extravagance  of 
French  mode.  His  hair,  which  was  permitted  to  curl  upon  his  shoul- 
ders, was  divided  along  the  middle  of  the  head ;  his  mustaches  were 
slightly  upturned  and  carefully  waxed,  and  his  small  chin-tuft,  or 
Henri-quatre,  most  gracefully  pointed;  he  wore  three  most  happily 
contrasting  colored  waistcoats,  and  spurs  of  glittering  brass.  His 
visit  was  of  scarcely  five  minutes' duration;  but  was  evidently  the 
opening  of  a  breaching  battery  by  the  Bingham  family  in  all  form — 
the  object  of  which  I  could  at  least  guess  at. 

My  embarrassments  were  not  destined  to  end  here;  for  scarcely 
had  I  returned  Mr.  Bingham's  eighth  salutation  at  the  head  of  the 
staircase,  when  another  individual  presented  himself  before  me. 
This  figure  was  in  every  respect  the  opposite  of  my  last  visitor.  Al- 
though framed  perfectly  upon  the  late  Parisian  school  of  dandyism, 
his,  however,  was  the  "  ccole  militaire."  Le  Captaine  Eugene  de 
Joncourt,  for  so  he  introduced  himself,  was  a  portly  personage,  of 
about  live-and-thirty  or  forty  years  of  age,  with  that  mixture  of  bon> 


HARKF.    LOiUtEQUEB. 

hotnie  and  ferocity  in  his  features  which  the  soldiers  of  Napoleon's 
army  either  affected  or  possessed  naturally.  His  features,  which 
were  handsome,  and  the  expression  of  which  was  pleasing,  were, 
as  it  seemed,  perverted  by  the  warlike  turn  of  a  most  terrific  pair  of 
whiskers  and  mustaches,  from  their  naturally  good-humored  bent; 
and  the  practiced  frown  and  quick  turn  of  his  dark  eyes  were  evi- 
dently only  the  acquired  advantages  of  his  military  career;  a  hand- 
some mouth,  with  singularly  regular  and  good  teeth,  took  much  away 
from  the  farouche  look  of  the  upper  part  of  his  face;  and  contributed, 
with  the  aid  of  a  most  pleasing  voice,  to  impress  you  in  his  favor;  his 
dress  was  a  blue  braided  frock  decorated  with  the  cordon  of  the 
legion ;  but  neither  these  nor  the  clink  of  his  long  cavalry  spurs, 
were  necessary  to  convince  you  that  the  man  was  a  soldier;  besides 
that,  there  was  that  mixture  of  urbanity  and  aplomb  in  his  manner 
which  showed  him  to  be  perfectly  accustomed  to  the  usages  of  the 
best  society. 

"  May  I  beg  to  know,"  said  he,  as  he  seated  himself  slowly,  "  if 
this  card  contains  your  name  and  address?"  handing  me  at  the  same 
moment  one  of  my  visiting-cards.  I  immediately  replied  in  the  affir- 
mative. 

"  You  are  then  in  the  English  service?" 

"Yes." 

"  Then,  may  I  entreat  your  pardon  for  the  trouble  of  these  ques- 
tions, and  explain  the  reason  of  my  visit.  I  am  the  friend  of  Le 
Baron  D'Haulpenne,  with  whom  you  had  the  altercation  last  night 
in  the  Salon,  and  in  whose  name  I  have  come  to  request  the  address 
of  a  friend  on  your  part." 

Ho,  ho,  thought  I,  the  baron  is  then  the  stout  gentleman  that  I 
pummeled  so  unmercifully  near  the  window ;  but  how  came  he  by 
my  card?  and  besides  hi  a  row  of  that  kind,  I  am  not  aware  how  far 
the  matter  can  be  conceived  to  go  further  that  what  happens  at  the 
moment.  These  were  the  thoughts  of  a  second  of  time,  and  before 
I  could  reply  anything,  the  captain  resumed : 

"  You  seem  to  have  forgotten  the  circumstance,  and  so  indeed 
should  I  like  to  do;  but  unfortunately  D'Haulpenne  says  that  you 
struck  him  with  your  walking-cane;  so  you  know,  under  such  a  state 
of  things,  there  is  but  one  course." 

"  But  gently,"  added  I;  "  I  had  no  cane  whatever  the  last  even- 
ing." 

"  Oh!  I  beg  pardon,"  interrupted  he;  "  but  my  friend  is  most  posi- 
tive in  his  account,  and  describes  the  altercation  as  having  continued 
from  the  Salon  to  the  street,  when  you  struck  him,  and  at  the  same 
time  threw  him  your  card.  Two  of  our  officers  were  also  pi 
and  although,  as  it  appears  from  your  present  forgetfulness.  that  the 
thing  took  place  in  the  heat  and  excitement  of  the  moment,  still ' 

"  But  still,"  said  I,  catching  up  his  last  words,  "  I  never  did  strike 
the  gentleman  as  you  describe — never  had  any  altercation  in  the 
street — and " 

"  Is  that  your  address?"  said  the  Frenchman,  with  a  single  bow. 

"  Yes,  certainly  it  is." 

"  Why  then,"  said  he,  with  a  slight  curl  of  his  upper  lip— half 
emile,  half  derision 

"Oh!  make  yourself  perfectly  easy,"  I  replied.    "  If  any  one  has 


HARRY    LORREQUER. 

by  an  accident  made  use  of  my  name,  it  shall  not  suffer  by  such  a  mis- 
take. I  shall  be  quite  at  your  service,  the  moment  I  can  find  out  a 
friend  to  refer  you  to. " 

I  had  much  difficulty  to.  utter  these  few  words  with  a  suitable 
degree  of  temper,  so  stung  was  I  by  the  insolent  demeanor  of  the 
Frenchman,  whose  coolness  and  urbanity  seemed  only  to  increase 
every  m.oment. 

"  Then  I  have  the  honor  to  salute  you,"  said  he,  rising,  with  great 
mildness  in  his  voice;  "  and  shall  take  the  liberty  to  leave  my  card 
for  the  information  of  your  friend." 

So  saying,  he  placed  his  card  upon  the  table — "  Le  Capitaine  Eugene 
de  Joncourt,  Cuirassiers  de  la  Garde." 

"  I  need  not  press  upon  Monsieur  the  value  of  dispatch." 

"I  shall  not  lose  a  moment,"  said  I,  as  he  clattered  down  the 
stairs  of  the  hotel,  with  that  perfect  swaggering  noncfialance  whHi 
a  Frenchman  is  always  an  adept  in;  and  I  returned  to  my  room,  to 
meditate  upon  my  numerous  embarrassments,  and  think  over  the 
difficulties  which  every  moment  was  contributing  to  increase  the 
number  of. 

"  The  indictment  has  certainly  many  counts,"  thought  I. 

Imprimis— A  half -implied,  but  fully  comprehended  promise  to 
marry  a  young  lady,  with  whom,  I  confess,  I  only  intend  to  journey 
this  life — as  far  as  Baden. 

Secondly,  a  charge  of  swindling — for  such  the  imputation  amounts 
to — at  the  Salon. 

Thirdly,  another  unaccountable  delay  in  joining  the  Callonbys, 
with  whom  I  am  every  hour  in  the  risk  of  being  "  compromis;"  and 
lastly,  a  duel  in  perspective  with  some  confounded  Frenchman  who 
is  at  this  very  moment  practicing  at  a  pistol  gallery. 

Such  were  the  heads  of  my  reflections,  and  such  the  agreeable  im- 
pressions my  visit  to  Paris  was  destined  to  open  with;  how  they  were 
to  be  followed  up  I  reserve  for  another  chapter. 


CHAPTER  XXX. 

CAPTAIN  TREV ACTION'S  ADVENTURE. 

As  the  day  was  now  waning  apace,  and  I  was  still  unprovided 
with  any  one  who  could  act  as  my  second,  I  set  out  upon  a  search 
through  the  various  large  hotels  in  the  neighborhood,  trusting  that 
amid  my  numerous  acquaintance  I  should  be  fortunate  enough  to 
find  some  of  them  at  Paris.  With  a  most  anxious  eye  I  scanned  the 
list  of  arrivals  at  the  usual  haunts  of  my  countrymen,  in  the  Rue 
Rivoli  and  the  Place  Vendome,  but  without  success;  there  were  long 
catalogues  of  "Milors,"  with  their  "couriers,"  &c.,  but  not  one 
name  known  to  me  in  the  number. 

I  repaired  to  Gaglinani's  library,  which,  though  crowded  as  ever 
with  English,  did  not  present  to  me  one  familiar  face.  From  thence 
I  turned  into  the  Palais  Royal,  and  at  last,  completely  jaded  by  walk- 
ing, and  sick  from  disappointment,  I  sat  down  upon  a  bench  in  the 
Tuilleries  Garden. 

I  had  scarcely  been  there  many  minutes  when  a  gentleman  accost- 
ed me  in  English,  saying,  "May  I  ask  if  this  be  your  property?" 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  213 

Bhowing,  at  the  same  time,  a  pocket-book  which  I  had  inadvertently 
dropped  in  pulling  out  my  handkerchief.  As  I  thanked  him  for  his 
attention,  and  was  about  to  turn  away,  I  perceived  that  he  continued 
to  look  very  steadily  at  me.  At  length  he  said: 

"  I  think  I  am  not  mistaken.  I  have  the  pleasure  to  see  Mr.  Lor- 
requer,  who  may  perhaps  recollect  my  name,  Trevanion  of  the  43d. 
The  last  time  we  met  was  at  Malta."* 

"  Oh,  I  remember  perfectly.  Indeed  I  should  be  very  ungrateful 
if  I  did  not;  for  to  your  kind  offices  there  I  am  indebted  for  my  life. 
You  must  surely  recollect  the  street  row  at  '  the  Caserne  '?" 

"Yes;  that  was  rather  a  brisk  affair  while  it  lasted;  but,  pray, 
how  long  are  you  here?" 

"  Merely  a  few  days;  and  most  anxious  am  I  to  leave  a"s  soon  as 
possible ;  for  independently  of  pressing  reasons  to  wish  myself  else- 
where, I  have  had  nothing  but  trouble  and  worry  since  my  arrival, 
and  at  this  instant  am  involved  in  a  duel,  without  the  slightest 
cause  that  I  can  discover,  and,  what  is  still  worse,  without  the  aid 
of  a  single  friend  to  undertake  the  requisite  negotiations  for. me." 

"  If  my  services  can  in  any  way  assist " 

"  Oh,  my  dear  captain,  this  is  really  so  great  a  favor  that  I  cannot 
say  how  much  I  thank  you." 

*'  Say  nothing  whatever,  but  rest  quite  assured  that  1  am  com- 
pletely at  your  disposal;  for  although  we  are  not  veiy  old  friends, 
yet  I  have  heard  so  much  of  you  from  some  of  ours,  that  I  feel  as  if 
we  had  been  long  acquainted." 

This  was  an  immense  piece  of  good  fortune  for  me;  for  of  all  the 
persons  I  knew,  he  was  the  most  suited  to  aid  me  at  this  moment. 
In  addition  to  a  thorough  knowledge  of  the  Continent  and  its  habits, 
he  spoke  French  fluently,  and  had  been  the  most  renomme  authority 
in  the  duello  to  a  large  military  acquaintance;  joining  to  a  consum- 
mate tact  and  cleverness  in  his  diplomacy,  a  temper  that  never  per- 
mitted itself  to  be  ruffled,  and  a  most  unexceptionable  reputation 
for  courage.  In  a  word,  to  have  had  Trevanion  for  your  second, 
was  not  only  to  have  secured  odds  in  your  favor,  but  still  better,  to 
have  obtained  the  certainty  that,  let  the  affair  take  what  turn  it 
might,  you  were  sure  of  coming  out  of  it  with  credit. 

He  was  the  only  man  I  have  ever  met,  who  had  much  mixed  him- 
self in  transactions  of  this  nature,  and  yet  never  by  any  chance  had 
degenerated  into  the  fire-eater;  more  quiet,  unassuming  manners  it 
was  impossible  to  meet  with,  and  in  the  various  anecdotes  I  have 
heard  of  him,  I  have  always  traced  a  degree  of  forbearance,  that  men 
of  less  known  bravery  might  not  venture  to  practice.  At  the  same 
time,  when  once  roused  by  anything  like  premeditated  insult — or 
pre-determined  affront — he  became  almost  ungovernable,  and  it 
would  be  safer  to  beard  the  lion  in  his  den  than  cross  his  path. 
Among  the  many  stories,  and  there  were  a  great  many  current  in  his 
regiment  concerning  him,  there  was  one  so  singularly  characteristic 
of  the  man,  that,  as  I  have  passingly  mentioned  his  name  here,  I 
may  as  well  relate  it;  at  the  same  time  premising  that,  as  it  is  well 
known,  I  may  only  be  repeating  an  often-heard  tale  to  many  of  my 
readers. 

When  the  regiment  to  which  Trevanion  belonged  became  part  of 
the  army  of  occupation  in  Paris,  he  was  left  at  Versailles  seriously 


914:  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

ill  from  the  effects  of  a  saber-wound  he  received  at  "Waterloo,  and 
from  which  his  recovery  at  first  was  exceedingly  doubtful.  At  the 
end  of  several  weeks,  however,  he  became  out  of  danger,  and  was 
able  to  receive  the  visits  of  his  brother  officers,  whenever  they  were 
fortunate  enough  to  obtain  a  day's  leave  of  absence  to  run  down  and 
see  him.  From  them  he  leained  that  one  of  his  oldest  friends  in  the 
regiment  had  fallen  in  a  duel,  during  the  time  of  his  illness,  and 
that  two  other  officers  were  dangerously  wounded — one  of  whom 
was  not  expected  to  survive.  When  he  inquired  as  to  the  reasons  of 
these  many  disasters,  he  was  informed  that  since  the  entrance  of  the 
allies  into  Paris,  the  French  officers,  boiling  with  rage  and  indigna- 
tion for  their  recent  defeat,  and  smarting  under  the  hourly  disgrace 
which  the  presence  of  their  conquerors  suggested,  sought  out,  by 
every  means  in  their  power,  opportunities  of  insult;  but  always  so 
artfully  contrived  as  to  render  the  opposite  party  the  challenger,  thus 
reserving  to  themselves  the  choice  of  the  weapons.  When,  there- 
fore, it  is  borne  in  mind  that  the  French- are  the  most  expert  swords- 
men in  Europe,  little  doubt  can  exist  as  to  the  issue  of  these  com- 
bats; and,  in  fact,  scarcely  a  morning  passed  without  three  or  four 
English  or  Prussian  officers  being  carried  through  the  Barriere  de 
1'Etoile,  if  not  dead,  at  least  seriously  wounded,  and  condemned  to 
carry  with  them  through  life  the  inflictions  of  a  sanguinary  and  sav- 
age spirit  of  revenge. 

While  Trevanion  listened  to  this  sad  recital,  and  scarcely  did  a  day 
come  without  adding  to  the  long  catalogue  of  disasters,  he  at  once 
perceived  that  the  quiet  deportment  and  unassuming  demeanor, 
which  so  strongly  characterize  the  English  officer,  were  construed  by 
their  French  opponents  into  evidences  of  want  of  courage,  and  saw 
that  to  so  systematic  a  plan  for  slaughter  no  common  remedy  could 
be  applied;  and  that  some  "  coup  d'etat  "  was  absolutely  necessary 
to  put  it  down  once  and  forever. 

In  the  history  of  these  sanguinary  rencontres,  one  name  wa* 
continually  recurring,  generally  as  the  principal,  sometimes  the  in- 
stigator, of  the  quarrel.  This  was  an  officer  of  a  chasseur  regiment, 
who  had  the  reputation  of  being  the  best  swordsman  in  the  whole 
French  army,  and  was  no  less  distinguished  for  his  "  skill  at  fence," 
than  his  uncompromising  hatred  of  the  British,  with  whom  alone, 
of  all  the  allied  forces,  he  was  ever  known  to  come  in  contact.  So 
celebrated  was  the  "  Capitaine  Augustin  Gendemar"  for  his  pur- 
suits, that  it  was  well  known  at  that  time  in  Paris  that  he  was  the 
president  of  a  dueling  club,  associated  for  the  expressed  and  avowed 
object  of  provoking  to  insult,  and  as  certainly  dooming  to  death, 
every  English  officer  upon  whom  they  could  fasten  a  quarrel. 

The  Cafe  Philidor,  at  that  period  in  the  Rue  Vivienne,  was  the 
rendezvous  of  this  reputable  faction,  and  here,  "  le  Capitaine " 
reigned  supreme,  receiving  accounts  of  the  various  "  affairs  "  which 
were  transacting — counselling  and  plotting  for  the  future.  His 
ascendancy  among  his  countrymen  was  perfectly  undisputed,  and 
being  possessed  of  great  muscular  strength,  with  that  peculiarly 
"  farouche  "  exterior,  without  which  courage  is  nothing  in  France, 
he  was  in  every  way  calculated  for  the  infamous  leadership  he  as- 
sumed. 

It  was,    mfortunately,  to  this  same  cafe,  being  situated  in  what 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  215 

was  called  the  English  quarter,  that  the  officers  of  the  43d  regiment 
were  in  the  habit  of  resorting,  totally  unaware  of  the  plots  by  which 
they  were  surrounded,  and  quite  unsuspecting  the  tangled  web  of 
deliberate  and  cold-blooded  assassination  in  which  they  were  In- 
volved, and  here  took  place  the  quarrel,  the  result  of  which  was  the 
death  of  Trevanion's  friend,  a  young  officer  of  great  promise,  and 
universally  beloved  in  his  regiment. 

As  Trevanion  listened  to  these  accounts,  his  impatience  became 
daily  greater,  that  his  weak  state  should  prevent  his  being  among  his 
brother  officers,  when  his  advice  and  assistance  were  so  imperatively 
required,  and  where,  amid  all  the  solicitude  of  his  perfect  recovery, 
he  could  not  but  perceive  they  ardently  wished  for  him. 

The  day  at  last  arrived,  and  restored  to  something  like  his  former 
self,  Trevanion  once  more  appeared  in  the  mess-room  of  his  regiment. 
Amid  the  many  sincere  and  hearty  congratulations  on  his  recovered 
looks  were  not  a  few  half -expressed  hints  that  he  might  not  go  much 
out  into  the  world  for  some  little  time  to  come.  To  these  friendly 
admonitions  Trevanion  replied  by  a  good-humored  laugh,  and  a  ready 
assurance  that  he  understood  the  intended  kindness,  and  felt  in 
nowise  disposed  to  be  invalided  again.  "  In  fact,"  said  he,  "  I  have 
come  up  here  to  enjoy  life  a  little,  not  to  risk  it;  but,  among  the 
sights  of  your  gay  capital,  I  must  certainly  have  a  peep  at  your 
famed  captain,  of  whom  I  have  heard  too  much  not  to  feel  an  inter- 
est in  him." 

Notwithstanding  the  many  objections  to  this,  made  with  a  view  to 
delay  his  visit  to  the  Philidor  to  a  later  period,  it  was  at  length 
agreed  that  they  should  all  repair  to  the  cafe  that  evening,  but  upon 
the  express  understanding  that  eveiy  cause  of  quarrel  should  be 
strictly  avoided,  and  that  their  stay  should  be  merely  sufficient  to 
satisfy  Trevanion's  curiosity  as  to  the  personnel  of  the  renomme  cap- 
tain. 

It  was  rather  before  the  usual  hour  of  the  cafe's  filling,  that  a 
number  of  English  officers,  among  whom  was  Trevanion,  entered 
the  "  salon  "  of  the  "  Philidor;"  having  determined  not  to  attract 
any  unusual  attention,  they  broke  into  little  knots  and  parties  of  threes 
and  fours,  and  dispersed  through  the  room,  where  they  either  sipped 
their  coffee  or  played  their  dominoes,  then,  as  now,  the  staple  re- 
source of  a  French  cafe. 

The  clock  over  the  "  comptoir  "  struck  eight,  and,  at  the  same  in- 
stant, a  waiter  made  his  appearance,  carrying  a  small  table  which  he 
placed  beside  the  fire,  and,  having  trimmed  a  lamp,  and  placed  a 
large  fauteuil  before  it,  was  about  to  withdraw,  when  Trevanion, 
whose  curiosity  was  roused  by  the  singularity  of  these  arrangements, 
determined  upon  asking  for  whose  comfort  they  were  intended. 
The  waiter  stared  for  a  moment  at  the  question,  with  an  air,  as  if 
doubting  the  seriousness  of  him  who  put  it,  and  at  last,  replied: 
"  Pour  Monsieur  le  Capitaine,  je  crois,"  with  a  certain  tone  of  signifi- 
cance upon  the  latter  words. 

"  Le  Capitaine!  but  what  captain?"  said  he,  carelessly;  "  for  I  am 
a  captain,  and  that  gentleman  there — and  there,  too,  is  another,"  at 
the  same  instant  throwing  himself  listlessly  into  the  well-cushioned 
chair,  and  stretching  out  his  legs  at  full  length  upon  the  hearth. 

The  look  of  horror  which  this  quiet  proceeding  on  his  part  eli<* 


216  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

Ited  from  the  poor  waiter  so  astonished  him  that  he  could  not  help 
saying:  "Is  there  anything  the  matter  with  you,  my  friend;  are 
you  ill?" 

"No,  monsieur,  not  ill;  nothing  the  matter  with  me:  hut  you, 
sir;  oh,  you,  sir,  pray  come  away." 

"Me,"  said  Trevanion;  "me!  why,  my  good  man,  I  was  never 
better  in  my  life;  so  now  just  bring  me  my  coffee  and  the  Moni- 
teur,  if  you  have  it  there;  don't  stare  that  way,  but  do  as  I  bid 
you." 

There  was  something  in  the  assured  tone  of  these  few  words  that 
either  overawed  or  repressed  every  rising  feeling  of  the  waiter  for 
his  interrogator;  for,  silently  handing  his  coffee  and  the  newspaper, 
he  left  the  room ;  not,  however,  without  bestowing  a  parting  glance 
so  full  of  terror  and  dismay  that  our  friend  was  obliged  to  smile  at 
it.  All  this  was  the  work  of  a  few  minutes,  and  not  until  the  noise 
of  new  arrivals  had  attracted  the  attention  of  his  brother  officers  did 
they  perceive  where  he  had  installed  himself,  and  to  what  danger 
he  was  thus,  as  they  supposed,  unwittingly  exposed. 

It  was  now,  however,  too  late  for  remonstrance,  for  already  several- 
French  officers  had  noticed  the  circumstance,  and  by  their  inter, 
change  of  looks  and  signs,  openly  evinced  their  satisfaction  at  it 
and  their  delight  at  the  catastrophe  which  seemed  inevitable  to  the 
luckless  Englishman. 

In  perfect  misery  at  what  they  conceived  their  own  fault  in  not 
apprising  him  of  the  sacred  character  of  that  place,  they  stood  si- 
lently looking  at  him,  as  he  continued  to  sip  his  coffee,  apparently 
unconscious  of  every  thing  and  person  about  him. 

There  was  now  a  more  than  ordinary  silence  in  the  cafe,  which 
at  all  times  was  remarkable  for  the  quiet  and  noiseless  demeanor  of 
its  frequenters,  when  the  door  was  flung  open  by  the  ready  waiter, 
and  the  Captain  Augustin  Gendemar  entered.  He  was  a  large, 
squarely -built  man,  with  a  most  savage  expression  of  countenance, 
which  a  bushy  beard,  and  shaggy,  overhanging  mustache,  served 
successfully  to  assist;  his  eyes  were  shaded  by  deep,  projecting 
brows  and  long  eyebrows  slanting  over  them,  and  increasing  their 
look  of  piercing  sharpness ;  there  was  in  his  whole  air  and  demeanor 
that  certain  French  air  of  swaggering  bullyism,  which  ever  remained 
in  those  who,  having  risen  from  the  ranks  maintained  the  look  of 
ruffianly  defiance  which  gave  their  early  character  for  courage 
peculiar  merit. 

To  the  friendly  salutations  of  his  countryjnen  he  returned  the 
slightest  and  coldest  acknowledgments,  throwing  a  glance  of  disdain 
around  him  as  he  wended  his  way  to  his  accustomed  place  beside 
the  fire.  This  he  did  with  as  much  of  noise  and  swagger  as  he  could 
well  contrive;  his  saber  and  sabretasche  clanking  behind,  his  spurs 
jangling,  and  his  heavy  step  made  purposely  heavier  to  draw  upon 
him  the  notice  and  attention  he  sought  for.  Trevanion  alone  tes- 
tified no  consciousness  of  his  entrance,  and  appeared  totally  engrossed 
by  the  columns  of  his  newspaper,  from  which  he  never  lilted  his 
eyes  for  an  instant.  Le  Capitame  at  length  reached  the  fire-place, 
when,  no  sooner  did  he  behold  his  accustomed  seat  in  the  possession. 
of  another,  than  he  absolutely  started  back  with  surprise  and  anger. 

What  might  have  been  his  first  impulse  it  is  hard  to  say,  for,  as 


HARRY    LORREQUER. 

the  blood  rushed  to  his  face  and  forehead,  he  clinched  his  hands 
firmly,  and  seemed  for  an  instant,  as  he  eyed  the  stranger,  like  a 
tiger  about  to  spring  upon  his  victim;  this  was  but  for  a  second,  for 
turning  rapidly  round  toward  his  party,  he  gave  them  a  look  of 
peculiar  meaning,  showing  two  rows  of  white  teeth,  with  a  grin 
which  seemed  to  say,  "  I  have  taken  my  line;"  and  he  had  done  so. 
He  now  ordered  the  waiter,  in  a  voice  of  thunder,  to  bring  him  a 
chair;  this  he  took  roughly  from  him,  and  placed  with  a  clash,  upon 
the  floor,  exactly  opposite  that  of  Trevanion,  and  still  so  near  a* 
scarcely  to  permit  of  his  sitting  down  upon  it.  The  noisy  vehe- 
mence of  this  action  at  last  appeared  to  have  roused  Trevanion's  at- 
tention, for  he  now,  for  the  lirst  time,  looked  up  from  his  paper, 
and  quietly  regarded  his  vis-a-vis.  There  could  not  hi  the  world  be 
a  stronger'  contrast  to  the  bland  look  and  courteous  expression  of 
Trevanion's  handsome  features  than  the  savage  scowl  of  the  enraged 
Frenchman,  in  whose  features  the  strong  and  ill-repressed  workings 
of  passion  were  twitching  and  distorting  every  lineament  and  line; 
indeed,  no  words  could  ever  convey  one  half  so  forcibly  as  did  that 
look,  insult — open,  palpable,  deep,  determined  insult. 

Trevanion,  whose  eyes  had  been  merely  for  a  moment  lifted  from 
his  paper,  again  fell,  and  he  appeared  to  take  no  notice  whatever  of 
the  extraordinary  proximity  of  the  Frenchman,  still  less  of  the  sav- 
age and  insulting  character  of  his  looks. 

Le  Capitaine,  having  thus  failed  to  bring  on  the  edairdssement  he 
sought  for,  proceeded  to  accomplish  it  by  other  means,  for,  taking 
the  lamp,  by  the  light  of  which  Trevanion  was  still  reading,  he 
placed  it  at  his  side  of  the  table,  and  at  the  same  instant  stretching 
across  his  arm,  he  plucked  the  newspaper  from  his  hand,  giving  at 
the  same  moment  a  glance  of  triumph  toward  the  bystanders,  as 
though  he  would  say,  "  You  see  what  he  must  submit  to. "  Words 
cannot  describe  the  astonishment  of  the  British  officers,  as  they  be- 
held Trevanion,  under  this  gross  and  open  insult,  content  himself 
by  a  slight  smile  and  half  bow,  as  if  returning  a  courtesy,  and  then 
throw  his  eyes  downward,  as  if  engaged  in  deep  thought,  while  the 
triumphant  sneer  of  the  French,  at  this  unaccountable  conduct,  was 
absolutely  maddening  to  them  to  endure. 

But  their  patience  was  destined  to  submit  to  stronger  proof,  for  at 
this  instant  Le  Capitaine  stretched  forth  one  enormous  leg,  cased  in 
his  massive  jack-boot,  and  with  a  crash  deposited  the  heel  upon  the 
foot  of  their  friend  Trevanion.  At  length  he  is  roused,  thought  they, 
for  a  slight  flush  of  crimson  flitted  across  his  cheek,  and  his  upper 
lip  trembled  with  a  quick  spasmodic  twitching;  but  both  these  signs 
were  over  in  a  second,  and  his  features  were  as  calm  and  unmoved 
as  before,  and  his  only  appearance  of  consciousness  of  the  affront 
was  given  by  his  drawing  back  his  chair,  and  placing  his  legs  be 
neath  it,  as  for  protection. 

This  last  insult,  and  the  tame  forbearance  with  which  it  was  sub. 
mitted  to,  produced  all  their  opposite  effects  upon  the  bystanders, 
and  looks  of  ungovernable  rage  and  derisive  contempt  were  every 
moment  interchanging;  indeed,  were  it  not  for  the  all-absorbing  in- 
tcrest  which  the  two  great  actors  in  the  scene  had  concentrated  upon 
themselves,  the  two  parties  must  have  come  at  once  into  open  conflict. 

The  clock  of  the  cafe  struck  nine,  the  hour  at  which  Gendemar 


218  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

always  retired,  so  calling  to  the  waiter  for  his  petit  verre  of  brandy, 
he  replaced  his  newspaper  upon  the  table,  and  putting  both  his  el- 
bows upon  it,  and  his  chin  upon  his  hands,  he  stared  full  in  Trevan- 
ion's  face  with  a  look  of  the  most  derisive  triumph,  meant  to 
crown  the  achievement  of  the  evening.  To  this,  as  to  all  his  former 
insults,  Trevanion  appeared  still  insensible,  and  merely  regarded 
him  with  his  never-changing  half  smile;  the  petit  verre  arrived;  Le 
Capitaine  took  it  in  his  hand,  and,  with  a  nod  of  most  insulting 
familiarity,  saluted  Trevanion,  adding  with  a  loud  voice,  so  as  to 
be  heard  on  eveiy  side,  "A  votre  courage,  Anglais."  He  had 
•carcely  swallowed  the  liquor  when  Trevanion  rose  slowly  from  the 
chair,  displaying  to  the  astonished  gaze  of  the  Frenchman  the  im- 
mense proportions  and  gigantic  frame  of  a  man  well-known  as  the 
largest  officer  in  the  British  army ;  with  one  stride  he  was  beside  the 
chair  of  the  Frenchman,  and  with  the  speed  of  lightning  he  seized 
his  nose  by  one  hand,  while  with  the  other  he  grasped  his  lower  jaw, 
and,  wrenching  open  his  mouth  with  the  strength  of  an  ogre,  he 
spat  down  his  throat. 

So  sudden  was  the  movement,  that  before  ten  seconds  had  elapsed, 
all  was  over,  and  the  Frenchman  rushed  from  the  room  holding  the 
fragments  of  his  jaw-bone  (for  it  was  fractured !),  and  followed  by 
his  countrymen,  who,  from  that  hour,  deserted  the  Cafe  Philidor, 
nor  was  there  ever  any  mention  of  the  famous  captain  during  the 
stay  of  the  regiment  in  Paris. 


CHAPTER 

DIFFICULTIES. 

WHILE  we  walked  together  toward  Meurice's,  I  explained  to  Tre- 
vanion the  position  in  which  I  stood;  and  having  detailed,  at  full 
length,  the  fracas  at  the  Salon,  and  the  imprisonment  of  O'Leary, 
entreated  his  assistance  in  behalf  of  him,  as  well  as  to  free  me  from 
some  of  my  many  embarrassments. 

It  was  strange  enough — though  at  first  so  pre-occupied  was  I  with 
other  thoughts  that  I  paid  but  little  attention  to  it — that  no  part  of 
my  eventful  evening  seemed  to  make  so  strong  an  impression  on 
him  as  my  mention  of  having  seen  my  cousin  Guy,  and  heard  from 
him  the  death  of  my  uncle.  At  this  portion  of  my  story  he  smiled, 
with  so  much  significance  of  meaning,  that  I  could  not  help  asking 
his  reason. 

"  It  is  always  an  unpleasant  task,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  to  speak  in  any 
way,  however  delicately,  in  a  tone  of  disparagement  of  a  man's  rela- 
tives— and,  therefore,  as  we  are  not  long  enough  acquainted " 

"  But  pray,"  said  1,  "  waive  that  consideration,  and  only  remem- 
ber the  position  in  which  I  now  am.  If  you  know  anything  of  this 
business,  I  entreat  you  to  tell  me — I  promise  to  take  whatever  you 
may  be  disposed  to  communicate,  in  the  same  good  part  it  is  in- 
tended." 

"  Well,  then,  I  believe  you  are  right;  but,  first,  let  me  ask  you, 
how  do  you  know  of  your  uncle's  death:  for  I  have  reason  to  doubt 
it?" 

*  From  Guy;  b-s  told  me  himself." 


HARRY    LORREQUEK.  319 

"  When  did  you  see  him  and  where?" 

"  Why,  I  have  just  told  you;  I  saw  him  last  night  at  the  Salon." 

"  And  you  could  not  be  mistaken." 

"  Impossible.  Besides,  he  wrote  to  me  a  note  which  I  received 
this  morning — here  it  is." 

"Hem — ha.  Well,  are  you  satisfied  that  this  is  his  hand-writ  • 
ing?"  said  Trevanion,  as  he  perused  the  note  slowly  twice  over. 

"  Why  of  course— but  stop — you  are  right;  it  is  not  his  hand,  nor 
do  I  know  the  writing,  now  that  you  direct  my  attention  to  it.  But 
what  can  that  mean?  You  surely  do  not  suppose  that  I  have  mis- 
taken any  one  for  him;  for,  independent  of  all  else,  his  knowledge 
of  my  family,  and  my  uncle's  affairs,  would  quite  disprove  that." 

"  This  is  really  a  complex  affair,"  said  Trevanion,  musingly, 
"  How  long  may  it  be  since  you  saw  your  cousin — before  last  night, 
I  mean?" 

"  Several  years;  above  six,  certainly." 

"  Oh,  it  is  quite  possible,  then,"  said  Trevanion,  musingly;  "  do 
you  know,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  this  affair  seems  much  more  puzzling  to 
me  than  to  you,  and  for  this  plain  reason — I  am  disposed  to  think 
you  never  saw  your  cousin  last  night." 

"  Why,  confound  it,  there  is  one  circumstance  that  I  think  may 
satisfy  you  on  that  head.  You  will  not  deny  that  I  saw  some  one 
who  very  much  resembled  him ;  and  certainly,  as  he  lent  me  above 
three  thousand  francs  to  play  with  at  the  table,  it  looks  rather  more 
like  his  act  than  that  of  a  perfect  stranger." 

"  Have  you  got  the  money?"  asked  Trevanion,  dryly. 

"Yes,  "said  I:  "but  certainly  you  are  the  most  unbelieving  of 
mortals,  and  I  am  quite  happy  that  I  have  yet  in  my  possession  two 
of  the  billets  de  banque,  for,  I  suppose,  without  them,  you  would 
scarcely  credit  me."  I  here  opened  my  pocket-book  and  produced 
the  notes. 

He  took  them,  examined  them  attentively  for  an  instant,  held 
them  between  him  and  the  light,  refolded  them,  and,  having  placed 
them  in  my  pocket-book,  said:  "  I  thought  as  much,  they  are  for- 
geries." 

"Hold!"  said  I.  "  My  cousin  Guy,  whatever  wildness  he  may 
have  committed,  is  yet  totally  incapable  of " 

"  I  never  said  the  contrary,"  replied  Trevanion,  in  the  same  dry 
tone  as  before. 

"  Then  what  can  you  mean,  for  1  see  no  alternative  between  that 
and  totally  discrediting  the  evidence  of  my  senses." 

"  Perhaps  I  can  suggest  a  middle  course,"  said  Trevanion;  "  lend 
me  therefore  a  patient  hearing  for  a  few  moments,  and  I  may  be 
able  to  throw  some  light  upon  this  difficult  matter.  You  may  never 
have  heard  that  there  is  in  this  same  city  of  Paris  a  person  so  ex- 
tremely like  your  cousin  Guy  that  his  most  intimate  friends  have 
daily  mistaken  the  one  for  the  other,  and  this  mistake  has  the  more 
often  been  made  from  the  circumstance  of  their  both  being  in  the 
habit  of  frequenting  the  same  class  in  society,  where,  knowing  and 
walking  with  the  same  people,  the  difficulty  of  discriminating  has 
been  greatly  increased.  This  individual,  who  has  too  many  aliases 
for  one  to  know  which  to  particularize  him  by.  is  one  of  that  numer- 
ous order  of  beings  whom  a  high  state  of  civilization  is  always  en- 


220  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

gendering  and  throwing  up  on  the  surface  of  society;  he  is  a  man 
of  low  birth  and  mean  connections,  but  gifted  with  most  taking  man- 
ners and  unexceptionable  address  and  appearance;  these  advantages, 
and  the  possession  of  apparently  independent  means,  have  opened 
to  him  the  access  of  a  certain  set  of  people,  who  are  well  known 
and  well  received  in  society,  and  obtained  for  him,  what  he  prizes 
much  more,  the  admission  into  several  clubs  where  high  play  is  car- 
ried on.  In  this  mixed  assemblage,  which  sporting  habits  and  gam- 
bling (that  grand  leveler  of  all  distinctions)  have  brought  together, 
this  man  and  your  cousin  Guy  met  frequently,  and,  from  the  con- 
stant allusion  to  the  wonderful  resemblance  between  them,  your  ec- 
centric cousin,  who,  I  must  say,  was  never  too  select  in  his  acquaint- 
ances, frequently  amused  himself  by  practical  jokes  upon  his  friends, 
which  served  still  more  to  nurture  the  intimacy  between  them;  and 
from  this  habit  Mr.  Dudley  Morewood,  for  such  is  his  latest 
patronymic,  must  have  enjoyed  frequent  opportunities  of  hearing 
much  of  your  family  and  relations,  a  species  of  information  he  never 
neglected,  though  at  the  moment  it  might  appear  not  so  immedi- 
ately applicable  to  his  purposes.  Now,  this  man,  who  knows  of 
every  new  English  arrival  in  Paris  with  as  much  certainty  as  the  police 
itself,  would  at  once  be  aware  of  your  being  here,  and  having  learned 
from  Guy  how  little  intercourse  there  had  been  of  late  years  between 
you,  would  not  let  slip  an  opportunity  of  availing  himself  of  the 
likeness,  if  anything  could  thereby  turn  to  his  profit." 

'  Stop, "cried I;  "you have  opened  my  eyes  completely,  for  now 
I  remember  that,  as  I  continued  to  win  last  night,  this  man,  who 
was  playing  hazard  at  another  table,  constantly  borrowed  from  me, 
but  always  in  gold,  invariably  refusing  the  billets  de  banque  as  too 
high  for  his  game." 

"There  his  object  was  clear  enough;  for  besides  obtaining  your 
gold,  he  made  you  the  means  of  disseminating  his  false  billets  de 
banque." 

"  So  that  I  have  been  actually  playing  and  winning  upon  this  fel- 
low's forgeries,"  said  I;  "  and  am  perhaps  at  this  very  instant  in- 
scribed in  the  '  Livre  noir '  of  the  police  as  a  most  accomplished 
swindler;  but  what  could  be  the  intention  of  his  note  of  this  morn- 
ing?" 

"As  to  that,"  said  Trevanion,  "it  is  hard  to  say;  one  thing  you 
may  assuredly  rely  upon — it  is  not  an  unnecessary  epistle,  whatever 
be  its  object;  he  never  wastes  his  powder  when  the  game  flies  too 
high;  so  we  must  only  wait  patiently  for  the  unravelment  of  his 
plans,  satisfied  that  we,  at  least,  know  something.  What  most  sur- 
prises me  is  his  venturing  at  present  to  appear  in  public;  for  it  is 
not  above  two  months  since  an  escapade  of  his  attracted  so  much 
attention  of  the  play  world  here,  that  he  was  obliged  to  leave,  and 
it  was  supposed  that  he  would  never  return  to  Pans." 

"  One  piece  of  good  fortune  there  is  at  least,"  said  I,  "which,  I  can 
safely  say,  repays  me  for  any  and  all  the  annoyance  this  unhappy 
affair  may  cause  me :  it  is  that  my  poor  old  uncle  is  still  alive  and 
well.  Not  all  my  anticipated  pleasures  in  newly-acquired  wealth 
could  have  afforded  me  the  same  gratification  that  this  fact  does,  for, 
although  never  so  much  his  favorite  as  my  cousin,  yet  the  sense  of 
protection — the  feeling  of  confidence  which  is  inseparable  from  the 


HARRY    LORREQUEB. 

degree  of  relationship  beween  us— standing,  as  he  has  ever  done,  in 
the  light  of  a  father  to  me,  is  infinitely  more  pleasurable  than  the 
possession  of  riches,  which  must  ever  suggest  to  me  the  recollection 
of  a  kind  friend  lost  to  me  forever.  But  so  many  thoughts  press  on 
me — so  many  effects  of  this  aif air  are  staring  me  in  the  face — I  really 
know  not  which  way  to  turn,  nor  can  I  even  collect  my  ideas 
sufficiently  to  determine  what  is  first  to  be  done." 

"  Leave  all  that  to  me,"  said  Trevanion;  "  it  is  a  tangled  web,  but 
I  think  I  can  unravel  it;  meanwhile,  where  does  the  Militaire  reside? 
for,  among  all  your  pressing  engagements,  this  affair  with  the  French- 
man must  come  off  first;  and  for  this  reason,  although  you  are  not 
really  obliged  to  give  him  satisfaction,  by  his  merely  producing  your 
card,  and  insisting  that  you  are  to  be  responsible  for  the  misdeeds  of 
any  one  who  might  show  it  as  his  own  address,  yet  I  look  upon  it  as 
a  most  fortunate  thing,  while  charges  so  heavy  may  be  at  this 
moment  hanging  over  your  head,  as  the  proceedings  of  last  night  in- 
volve, that  you  have  a  public  opportunity  of  meeting  an  antagonist 
in  the  field— thereby  evincing  no  fear  of  publicity,  nor  any  intention 
of  absconding ;  for  be  assured  that  the  police  are  at  this  moment  in 
possession  of  what  has  occurred,  and  from  the  fracas  which  fol- 
lowed, are  well  disposed  to  regard  the  whole  as  a  concerted  scheme 
to  seize  upon  the  property  of  the  banque,  a  not  uncommon  wind-up 
here  after  luck  fails.  My  advice  is,  therefore,  meet  the  man  at 
cnce;  I  shall  take  care  that  the  prefect  is  informed  that  you  have 
been  imposed  upon  by  a  person  passing  himself  off  as  your  relative, 
and  enter  bail  for  your  appearance  whenever  you  are  called  upon; 
that  being  done,  we  shall  have  time  for  a  moment's  respite  to  look 
around  us,  and  consider  the  other  bearings  of  this  difficult  business." 

"  Here,  then,  is  the  card  of  address,"  said  I;  "  Eugene Dejoncourt, 
Capitaine  de  Cavalerie,  No.  8,  Chausse  D'Antin." 

"  Dejoncourt!  why,  confound  it,  this  is  not  so  pleasant;  he  is  about 
the  best  shot  in  Paris,  and  a  very  steady  swordsman  besides.  I  don't 
like  this." 

"  But  you  forget,  he  is  the  friend,  not  the  principal  here." 

"  The  more  good  fortune  yours,"  said  Trevanion,  dryly;  "  f or  I 
acknowledge  I  should  not  give  much  for  your  chance  at  twenty 
paces  opposite  his  pistol;  then,  who  is  the  other?" 

"  Le  Baron  d'Haulpenne,"  said  I,  "and  his  name  is  all  that  1 
know  of  him;  his  very  appearance  is  unknown  to  me." 

"  I  believe  I  am  acquainted  with  him,"  said  Trevanion;  "but 
here  we  are  at  Meurice's.  Now  I  shall  just  write  a  few  lines  to  a  legal 
friend,  who  will  manage  to  liberate  Tax.  O'Leary,  whose  services  we 
shall  need ;  two  persons  are  usual  on  each  side  in  this  counry,  and 
then  'al'ouvrage.' ' 

The  note  written  and  dispatched,  Trevanion  jumped  into  a  cab, 
and  set  out  for  the  Chausse  D'Antin,  leaving  me  to  think  over,  as 
•well  as  I  could,  the  mass  of  trouble  and  confusion  that  twenty- four 
hours  of  life  in  Paris  had  involved  me  in. 


HABRY    LOBBEQUEB. 


CHAPTER  XXXfl. 

EXPLANATION. 

IT  was  past  seven  o'clock  when  Trevanion  made  his  appearance, 
accompanied  by  O'Leary;  and  having  in  few  words  informed  me 
that  a  meeting  was  fixed  for  the  following  morning,  near  St.  Cloud, 
proposed  that  we  should  at  once  go  to  dinner  at  Verey's,  after  which 
we  should  have  plenty  of  time  to  discuss  the  various  steps  to  be  tak- 
en. As  we  were  leaving  the  hotel  for  this  purpose,  a  waiter  re- 
quested of  me  to  permit  Mr.  Meurice  to  speak  a  few  words  to  me; 
which,  having  agreed  to,  I  entered  the  little  bureau  where  this  czar 
of  hotels  sits  enthroned,  and  what  was  iny  surprise  to  learn  the  re- 
quest he  had  to  prefer  was  nothing  less  than  that  I  would  so  far 
oblige  him  as  to  vacate  the  room  I  possessed  in  the  hotel,  adding  that 
my  compliance  would  confer  upon  him  the  power  to  accommodate  a 
"  milor  "  who  had  written  for  apartments,  and  was  coming  with  a 
large  suite  of  servants.  Suspecting  that  some  rumor  of  the  late  aft  air 
at  Frascati's  might  have  influenced  my  friend  Meurice  in  this  unusual 
demand,  1  abruptly  refused,  and  was  about  to  turn  away,  when  he, 
perhaps  guessing  that  I  had  not  believed  his  statements,  handed  me 
an  open  letter,  saying,  "  You  see,  sir,  this  is  the  letter;  and  as  I  am 
BO  pressed  for  spare  room,  I  must  now  refuse  the  writer." 

As  my  eye  glanced  at  the  writing,  I  started  back  in  amazement  to 
perceive  it  was  in  my  cousin  Guy's  hand,  requesting  that  apartments 
might  be  retained  for  Sir  Guy  Lorrequer,  my  uncle,  who  was  to 
arrive  in  Paris  by  the  end  of  the  week.  If  any  doubt  had  remained 
on  my  mind  as  to  the  deception  1  had  been  duped  by,  this  would 
have  completely  dispelled  it,  but  I  had  long  before  been  convinced 
of  the  trick,  and  only  wondered  how  the  false  Guy — Mr.  Dudley 
Morewood — had  contrived  to  present  himself  to  me  so  opportunely, 
and  by  what  means,  in  so  short  a  space  of  time,  he  had  become  ac- 
quainted wifli  my  personal  appearance. 

As  I  mentioned  this  circumstance  of  the  letter  to  Trevanion,  he 
could  not  conceal  his  satisfaction  at  his  sagacity  in  unraveling  the 
mystery,  while  this  new  intelligence  confirmed  the  justness  and  ac- 
curacy of  all  his  explanations. 

While  we  walked  along  toward  the  Palais  Ptoyal,  Trevanion  en- 
deavored, not  very  successfully,  to  explain  to  my  friend  O'Leary  the 
nature  of  the  trick  which  had  been  practiced,  promising,  at  another 
tune,  some  revelations  concerning  the  accomplished  individual  who 
had  planned  it,  which,  in  boldness  and  daring,  eclipsed  even  this. 

Any  one  who  in  waking  has  had  the  confused  memory  of  a  dream, 
in  which  events  have  been  so  mingled  and  mixed  as  to  present  no 
Uniform  narrative,  but  only  a  mass  of  strange  and  incongruous  oc- 
currences,-without  object  or  connection,  may  form  some  notion  of 
the  state  of  restless  excitement  my  brain  suffered  from,  as  the  many 
and  conflicting  ideas  my  late  adventures  suggested  presented  them- 
•elves  to  my  mind  in  rapid  succession. 

The  glare,  the  noise,  and  the  clatter  of  a  French  cafe  are  certainly 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  223 

not  the  agents  most  in  request  for  restoring  a  man  to  the  enjoyment 
of  his  erring  faculties ;  and,  if  I  felt  addled  and  confused  before,  I 
had  scarcely  passed  the  threshold  of  Verey's,  when  I  became  abso- 
lutely like  one  in  a  trance.  The  large  salon  was  more  than  usually 
crowded,  and  it  was  with  difficulty  that  we  obtained  a  place  at  a 
table,  where  some  other  English  were  seated,  among  whom  I  recog- 
nized my  lately  made  acquaintance,  Mr.  Edward  Bingham. 

Excepting  a  cup  of  coffee,  I  had  taken  nothing  the  entire  day,  and 
so  completely  did  my  anxieties  of  different  kinds  subdue  all  appetite 
that  the  most  recherche  viands  of  this  well-known  restaurant  did  not 
in  the  least  tempt  me.  The  champagne  alone  had  any  attraction  for 
me ;  and,  seduced  by  the  icy  coldness  of  the  wine,  I  drank  copiously. 
This  was  all  that  was  wanting  to  complete  the  maddening  confusion 
of  my  brain,  and  the  effect  was  instantaneous ;  the  lights  danced  be- 
fore my  eyes,  the  lusters  whirled  round,  and,  as  the  scattered  frag- 
ments of  conversation  on  either  side  met  my  ear,  I  was  able  to  form 
some  not  very  inaccurate  conception  of  what  insanity  may  be.  Politics 
and  literature,  Mexican  bonds  and  Noblet's  legs,  Pates  deperdreaua 
and  the  quarantine  laws,  the  extreme  gaucheund  the  "  Bains  Chinois," 
Victor  Hugo  and  rouge  et  noir,  had  formed  a  species  of  grand  ballet 
d'action  in  my  fevered  brain,  and  I  was  perfectly  beside  myself. 
Occasionally,  too,  I  would  revert  to  my  own  concerns,  although  I  was 
scarcely  able  to  follow  up  any  train  of  thought  for  more  than  a  few 
seconds  together,  and  totally  inadequate  to  distinguish  the  false  from 
the  true.  I  continued  to  confound  the  counterfeit  with  my  cousin, 
and  wonder  how  my  poor  uncle,  for  whom  I  was  about  to  put  on  the 
deepest  mourning,  could  possibly  think  of  driving  me  out  of  my 
lodgings.  Of  my  duel  for  the  morning  I  had  the  most  shadowy 
recollections,  and  could  not  perfectly  comprehend  whether  it  was 
O'Leary  or  I  was  the  principal,  and  indeed  cared  but  little.  In  this 
happy  state  of  independent  existence  I  must  have  passed  a  consider- 
able time,  and,  as  my  total  silence  when  spoken  to,  or  my  irrelevant 
answers,  appeared  to  have  tired  out  my  companions,  they  left  me  to 
the  uninterrupted  enjoyment  of  my  own  pleasant  imaginings. 

"Do  you  hear,  Lorrequer?"  at  last  said  Trevanion.  "Are  you 
asleep,  my  dear  friend?  This  gentleman  has  been  good  enough  to 
invite  us  to  breakfast  to  morrow  at  St.  Cloud." 

'I  looked  up,  and  was  just  able  to  recognize  the  well-trimmed  mus- 
tache of  Mr.  Edward  Bingham,  as  he  stood  mumbling  something  be- 
fore me.     "  St.  Cloud — what  of  St.  Cloud?"  said  I. 
"  We  have  something  in  that  quarter  to-morrow." 
"  What  is  it  O'Leary?    Can  we  go?" 
"  Oh!  certainly — our  engagement  is  an  early  one." 

"  We  shall  accept  your  polite  invitation  with  pleasure " 

Here  he  stopped  over  and  whispered  something  in  my  ear — what, 
I  cannot  say ;  but  I  know  that  my  reply,  now  equally  lost  to  me, 
produced  a  hearty  fit  of  laughing  to  my  two  friends. 

My  next  recollection  is,  iinding  myself  in  a  crowded  loge  at  the 
theater.  It  seems  that  O'Leary  had  acceded  to  a  proposal  from  some 
of  the  other  party  to  accompany  them  to  the  Porte  St.  Martin,  where 
Mrs.  Bingham  and  her  daughter  had  engaged  a  box.  Amid  all  the 
confusion  which  troubled  thoughts  and  wine  produced  in  me,  I  could 
VOt  help  perceiving  a  studied  politeness  and  attention  on  the  part  of 


HARRY    LORREQUER. 

Mr.  Edward  Bingham  toward  me;  and  my  first  sobering  reflection 
came,  on  finding  that  a  place  was  reserved  for  me  beside  Miss  Bing- 
ham, into  which,  by  some  contrivance  I  can  in  nowise  explain,  I 
found  myself  almost  immediately  installed.  To  all  the  excitements 
of  champagne  and  punch,  let  the  attractions  of  a  French  ballet  be 
added,  and  with  a  singularly  pretty  companion  at.  your  side,  to  whom 
you  have  already  made  sufficient  advances  to  be  aware  that  you  are 
no  longer  indifferent  to  her,  and  I  venture  to  predict,  that  it  is  much 
more  likely  your  conversation  will  incline  to  flirting  than  political 
economy;  and,  moreover,  that  you  make  more  progress  during  the 
performance  of  one  single  pas  de  deux  upon  the  stage,  than  you  have 
hitherto  done  in  ten  morning  calls,  with  an  unexceptionable  whisker 
and  the  best  fitting  gloves  in  Paris.  Alas !  alas !  it  is  only  the  rich 
man  that  ever  wins  at  rouge  et  noir.  The  well -insured  Indiaman, 
with  her  cargo  of  millions,  comes  safe  into  port ;  while  the  whole 
venture  of  some  hardy  veteran  of  the  wave  founders  within  sight  of 
his  native  shore.  So  is  it  ever;  where  success  would  be  all  and  every 
thing,  it  never  comes— but  only  be  indifferent  or  regardless,  and  fort- 
une is  at  your  feet,  suing  and  imploring  your  acceptance  of  her 
favors.  What  would  I  not  have  given  for  one  half  of  that  solicitude 
now  so  kindly  expressed  in  my  favor  by  Miss  Bingham,  if  syllabled 
by  the  lips  of  Lady  Jane  Callonby — how  would  my  heart  have  throb- 
bed for  one  light  smile  from  one  while  I  ungratefully  basked  in  the 
openly  avowed  preference  of  the  other.  These  were  my  first  thoughts 
--what  were  the  succeeding  ones? 

"  Comment  elle  est  belle,"  said  a  French  woman,  turning  round 
in  the  box  next  to  us,  and  directing  at  the  same  moment  the  eyes  of 
a  mustached  hero  upon  my  fair  companion. 

What  a  turn  to  my  thoughts  did  this  unexpected  ejaculation  give 
rise  to !  I  now  began  to  consider  her  more  attentively,  and  certainly 
concurred  fully -in  the  Frenchwoman's  verdict.  I  had  never  seen 
her  look  half  so  well  before.  The  great  fault  in  her  features,  which 
were  most  classically  regular,  lay  in  the  monotony  and  uniform  charac- 
ter of  their  expression.  Now  this  was  quite  changed.  Her  cheeks 
were  slightly  flushed,  and  her  eyes  more  brilliant  than  ever;  while 
her  slightly  parted  lips  gave  a  degree  of  speaking  earneotness  to  her 
expression,  that  made  her  perfectly  beautiful. 

Whether  it  was  from  this  cause  I  cannot  say,  but  I  certainly  never 
felt  so  suddenly  decided  in  my  life  from  one  course  to  its  yeiy  oppo- 
site, as  I  now  did  to  make  I'aimable  to  my  lovely  companion.  And 
here,  I  fear,  I  must  acknowledge,  in  the  honesty  of  these  conf cs  • 
sional  details,  that  vanity  had  also  its  share  in  the  decision.  To  be 
the  admitted  and  preferred  suitor  of  the  prettiest  woman  in  company, 
is  generally  a  strong  inducement  to  fall  desperately  in  love  with  her, 
independently  of  other  temptations  for  so  doing. 

How  far  my  successes  tallied  with  my  good  intentions  in  this  re- 
spect, I  cannot  now  say.  I  only  remember,  that  more  than  once 
O'Leary  whispered  to  me  something  like  a  caution  of  some  sort  or 
other;  but  Emily's  encouraging  smiles  and  still  more  encouraging 
speeches  had  far  more  effect  upon  me  than  all  the  eloquence  of  the 
united  service,  had  it  been  engaged  in  my  behalf,  would  have 
effected.,  Mrs.  Bingham,  too — who,  to  do  her  justice,  seemed  but 
little  cognizant  of  our  proceeding — from  time  to  time  evinced  tliat 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  226 

species  of  motherly  satisfaction  which  wry  young  men  rejoice  much 
<n,  and  older  ones  arc  considerably  alarmed  at. 

The  play  over,  O'Leary  charged  himself  with  the  protection  of 
madam,  while  I  enveloped  Emily  in  her  cashmere,  and  drew  her  arm 
within  my  own.  What  my  hand  had  to  do  with  hers  I  know  not;  if. 
remains  one  of  the  unexplained  difficulties  of  that  eventful  evening. 
I  have,  it  is  true,  a  hazy  recollection  of  pressing  some  very  taper  and 
delicately  formed  fingers;  and  remember,  too,  the  pain  I  felt  next 
morning  on  awaking,  by  the  pressure  of  a  too  tight  ring,  which  had, 
bj7  some  strange  accident,  found  its  way  to  my  ringer,  for  which  its 
size  was  but  ill  adapted. 

"  You  will  join  us  at  supper,  I  hope,"  said  Mrs.  Bingham,  as 
Trevanion  handed  her  to  her  carriage.  "  Mr.  Lorrequer,  Mr. 
O'Leary,  we  shall  expect  you." 

I  was  about  to  promise  to  do  so,  when  Trevanion  suddenly  inter- 
rupted me,  saying  that  he  had  already  accepted  an  invitation,  which 
would,  unfortunately,  prevent  us;  and  having  hastily  wished  the 
ladies  good  night  hurried  me  away  so  abruptly,  that  I  had  not  a 
moment  given  for  even  one  parting  look  at  the  fair  Emily. 

"  Why,  Trevanion,"  said  I,  "what  invitation  are  you  dreaming 
of?  I,  for  one,  should  have  been  delighted  to  have  gone  home  with 
the  Binghams." 

"-So  I  perceive,"  said  Trevanion,  gravely;  "and  it  was  for  that 
precise  reason  I  so  firmly  refused  what,  individually,  I  should  have 
been  most  happy  to  accept." 

"  Then  pray  have  the  goodness  to  explain." 

"It  is  easily  done.  You  have  already^  in  recounting  your  mani- 
fold embarrassments,  told  me  enough  of  these  people,  to  let  me  see 
that  they  intend  you  should  marry  among  them ;  and,  indeed,  you 
have  gone  quite  far  enough  to  encourage  such  an  expectation.  Your 
present  excited  state  has  led  you  sufficiently  far  this  evening  and  I 
could  not  answer  for  your  not  proposing  in  all  form  before  the  sup- 
per was  over;  therefore,  I  had  no  other  course  open  to  me  than  posi- 
tively to  refuse  Mrs.  Bingham's  invitation.  But  here  we-ure  now  at 
the  '  Cadran  rouge;'  we  shall  have  our  lobster  and  a  glass  of 
Moselle,  and  then  to  bed,  for  we  must  not  forget  that  we  are  to  be 
at  St.  Cloud  by  seven." 

"Ah!  that  is  a  good  thought  of  yours  about  the  lobsters."  said 
O'Leary;  "  and  now,  as  you  understand  these  matters,  just  oraei 
supper,  and  let  us  enjoy  ourselves." 

With  all  the  accustomed  dispatch  of  a  restaurant,  a  most  appetiz- 
ing petit  souper  made  its  speedy  appearance;  aud  although  now  per- 
fectly divested  of  the  high  excitement  which  had  hitherto  possessed 
me,  nay  spirits  were  excellent,  and  I  never  more  relished  our  good 
fare  and  good  fellowship. 

After  a  full  bumper  to  the  health  of  the  fair  Emily  had  been  pro- 
posed and  drained  by  all  three,  Trevanion  again  explained  how  much 
more  serious  difficulty  would  result  from  any  false  step  in  that  quar- 
ter than  from  all  my  other  scrapes  collectively. 

This  he  represented  so  strongly,  that  for  the  first  time  I  began  to 
perceive  the  train  of  ill  consequences  that  must  inevitably  result, 
and  promised  most  faithfully  to  be  guided  by  any  counsel  he  might 
feel  disposed  to  give  me. 


226  HARRY    LORREQUER/ 

"  Ah!  what  a  pity,"  said  O'Leary,  "  it  is  not  my  case.  It's  very 
little  trouble  it  would  cost  any  one  to  break  off  a  match  for  me.  I 
had  always  a  most  peculiar  talent  for  those  things." 

"Indeed!"  said  Trevanion.  "  Pray,  may  we  know  your  secret? 
for  perhaps,  ere  long,  we  may  have  occasion  for  its  employment." 

"  Tell  it,  by  all  means,"  said  I. 

"  If  I  do,"  said  O'Leary,  "  it  will  cost  you  a  patient  hearing;  fo 
my  experiences  are  connected  with  two  episodes  in  my  early  lifc,r 
which,  although  not  very  amusing,  are  certainly  instructive. ' ' 

"  Oh!  by  all  means,  let  us  hear  them,"  said  Trevanion:  "  for  we 
have  yet  two  bottles  of  chambertin  left,  and  must  finish  them  ere  we 
part." 

"  Well,  agreed,"  said  O'Leary;  "  only,  once  for  all,  as  what  I  am 
about  to  confide  is  strictly  confidential,  you  must  promise  never  even 
to  allude  to  it  hereafter  in  even  the  most  remote  manner,  much  less 
indulge  in  any  unseemly  mirth  at  what  I  shall  relate." 

Having  pledged  ourselves  to  secrecy  and  a  becoming  seriousness, 
O'Leary  began  his  story  as  follows: 

CHAPTER  XXXHI. 
MB.  O'LEART'B  FIRST  LOVE. 

"  IT  was  during  the  vice-royalty  of  the  late  Duke  of  Richmond 
that  the  incidents  I  am  about  to  mention  took  place.     That  was  a 
few  years  since,  and  I  was  rather  younger,  and  a  little  more  particu- 
lar about  my  dress  than  at  present."    Here  the  little  man  cast  an  eye 
of  stoical  satisfaction  upon  his  uncouth  habiliments,   that  nearly 
made  us  forget  our  compact,  and  laugh  outright.     "  Well,  in  those 
wild  and  headstrong  days  of  youthful  ardor,  I  fell  in  love — desper- 
ately in  love— and  as  always  is,  I  believe,  the  case  with  our  early 
experiments  in  that  unfortunate  passion,  the  object  of  my  affection 
was  in  every  way  unsuited  to  me.     She  was  a  tall,  dark-haired, 
dark-eyed  maiden,  with  a  romantic  imagination,  and  a  kind  of  a 
half -crazed  poetic  fervor,  that  often  made  me  fear  for  her  intellect. 
I'm  a  short,  rather  fat— I  was  always  given  this  way  " — here  he 
patted  a  waistcoat  that  would  fit  Daniel  Lambert—"  happy-minded 
little  fellow,  that  liked  my  supper  of  oysters  at  the  Pigeon-house, 
and  my  other  creature-comforts,  and  hated  everything  that  excited 
or  put  one  out  of  one.'s  way,  just  as  I  would  have  hated  a  blister. 
Then,  the  devil  would  have  it — for  as  certainly  as  marriages  are  made 
in  heaven,  flirtations  have  something  to  say  to  the  other  place — that 
I  should  fall  most  irretrievably  in  love  with  Lady  Agnes  Moreton. 
Bless  my  soul,  it  absolutely  puts  me  in  a  perspiration  this  hot  day, 
just  to  think  over  all  I  went  through  on  her  account;  for,  strange  to 
say,  the  more  I  appeared  to  prosper  in  her  good  graces,  the  more  did 
she  exact  on  my  part;  the  pursuit  was  like  Jacob's  ladder— if  it  did 
lead  to  heaven  it  was  certainly  an  awfully  long  journey,  and  very 
hard  on  one's  legs.     There  was  not  an  amusement  she  could  think 
of,  no  matter  how  unsuited  to  my  tastes  or  my  abilities,  that  she  did 
not  immediately  take  a  violent  fancy  to ;  and  then  there  was  no  escap- 
ing, and  I  was  at  once  obliged  to  go  with  the  tide;  and  heaven  knows 
if  it  would  not  have  carried  me  t»  my  grave  if  it  were  not  for  the  fort- 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  227 

unate  (I  now  call  it)  accident  that  broke  off  the  affair  forever.  One 
time  she  took  a  fancy  to  yachting,  and  all  the  danglers  about  her — 
and  she  always  had  a  cordon  of  them — young  aids-de-camp  of  her 
father,  the  general,  and  idle  hussars,  in  clanking  sabretasches  and 
most  absurd  mustaches — all  approved  of  the  taste,  and  so  kept  fill- 
ing her  mind  with  anecdotes  of  corsairs  and  smugglers,  that  at  last 
nothing  would  satisfy  her  till  I — I,  who  always  would  rather  have 
waited  for  low  water,  and  waded  the  Liffey  in  all  its  black  mud, 
than  cross  over  in  the  ferry-boat,  for  fear  of  sickness — I  was  obliged 
to  put  an  advertisement  in  the  newspaper  for  a  pleasure-boat,  and, 
before  three  weeks,  saw  myself  owner  of  a  clinker-built  schooner, 
of  forty-eight  tons,  that  by  some  mockery  of  fortune  was  called  '  The 
Delight. '  I  wish  you  saw  me,  as  you  might  have  done  every  morn- 
ing for  about  a  month  ,  as  I  stood  on  the  custom-house  quay,  giving 
orders  for  the  outfit  of  the  little  craft.  At  first,  as  she  bobbed  and 
pitched  with  the  flood-tide,  I  used  to  be  a  little  giddy  and  rather 
qualmish,  but  at  last  I  learned  to  look  on  without  my  head  reeling. 
I  began  to  fancy  myself  very  much  of  a  sailor,  a  delusion  consid- 
erably encouraged  by  a  huge  pea-jacket  and  a  sou'-wester,  both  of 
which,  though  it  was  in  the  dog-days,  Agnes  insisted  upon  my 
wearing,  saying  I  looked  more  like  Dirk  Hatteraick,  who,  I  under- 
stood, was  one  of  her  favorite  heroes  in  Walter  Scott.  In  fact,  after 
she  suggested  this,  she  and  all  her  friends  called  me  nothing  but  Dirk. 

"  Well,  at  last,  after  heaven  knows  how  many  excuses  on  my 
part,  and  entreaties  for  delay,  a  day  was  appointed  for  our  first  ex- 
cursion. I  shall  never  forget  that  day — the  entire  night  before  it  I 
did  not  close  my  eyes;  the  skipper  had  told  me  in  his  confounded 
sea-jargon  that  if  the  wind  was  in  one  quarter,  we  should  have  a 
short,  tossing  sea ;  and  if  in  another,  a  long,  rolling  swell ;  and  if  in. 
a  third,  a  happy  union  of  both — in  fact  he  made  it  out  that  it  could 
not  possibly  blow  right,  an  opinion  I  most  heartily  coincided  in,  and 
most  devoutly  did  I  pray  for  a  calm  that  would  not  permit  of  our 
stirring  from  our  moorings,  and  thus  mar  our  projected  party  of 
pleasure.  My  prayer  was  unheard,  but  my  hopes  rose  on  the  other 
hand,  for  it  blew  tremendously  during  the  entire  nighffand  although 
there  was  a  lull  toward  morning,  the  sesi,  even  in  the  river,  was 
considerable. 

"  I  had  just  come  to  the  conclusion,  that  I  was  safe  for  this  time, 
when  the  steward  poked  his  head  into  the  room  and  said. 

"  '  Mr.  Brail  wishes  to  know,  sir,  if  he'll  bend  the  mainsail  to- 
day, as  it's  blowing  rather  fresh,  and  he  thinks  the  spars  light. ' 

'  Why,  the  devil  take  him,  he  would  not  have  us  go  out  in  a 
hurricane;  surely,  Pipes,  we  could  not  take  out  ladies  to-day?' 

"  '  Oh,  bless  your  heart,  yes,  sir;  it  blows  a  bit,  to  be  sure,  but 
she's  a  good  sea-boat,  and  we  can  run  for  Arklow  or  the  Hook,  if  it 
comes  fresher. ' 

"  '  Oh,  nonsense,  there's  no  pleasure  in  that;  besides,  I'm  sure 
they  won't  like  it — the  ladies  won't  venture,  you'll  see." 

"  '  Ay,  sir,  but  they're  all  on  board  already;  there's  eight  ladies  in 
the  cabin  and  six  on  deck,  and  as  many  hampers  of  victuals  and  as 
much  crockery  as  if  we  were  a-goin'  to  Madeira.  Captain  Grantham, 
sir,  the  soldier  officer,  with  the  big  beard,  is  a  mixing  punch  in  the 
grog-tub ' 


228  HARRY    LORREQUEB. 

"  '  From  fhe  consequences  of  this  day  I  proclaim  myself  Innocent/ 
said  I,  with  a  solemn  voice,  as  I  drew  on  my  duck  trousers,  and  pre- 
pared to  set  out. 

"  'And  the  mainsail,  sir?'  said  the  steward,  not  understanding 
what  I  said. 

"  '  I  care  not  which,'  said  I,  doggedly;  '  act  or  part  in  this  will- 
ful proceeding  I'll  not  take. ' 

"  '  Ay,  ay,  sir,'  said  the  stupid  wretch,  '  then  I'll  say  you're  com- 
ing, and  he  may  stretch  the  large  canvas ;  for  the  skipper  says  he 
likes  a  wet  jacket  when  he  has  gentlemen  out. ' 

"  Never  did  a  victim  put  on  a  flame-colored  garment,  the  emblem 
of  fate,  and  set  out  on  the  march  of  death,  with  a  heavier  heart,  than 
did  I  put  on  my  pilot-coat  that  morning  to  join  my  friends. 

"  My  last  hope  deserted  me  as  I  saw  the  little  vessel  lying  beside 
the  quay;  for  I  continued  to  trust  that  in  getting  out  from  the  dock 
some  accident  or  mischance  might  occur  to  spoil  our  sport.  But 
no;  there  she  lay  rolling  and  pitching  in  such  a  way,  that  even  at 
anchor,  they  could  not  stand  on  the  deck  without  holding.  Amid  the 
torrent  of  compliments  for  the  perfection  of  all  my  arrangements, 
and  innumerable  sweet  things  on  my  taste  in  the  decoration  and  fit- 
ting up  of  my  cabin,  I  scarcely  felt  myself  afloat  for  some  minutes, 
and  we  got  under  way  amid  a  noise  and  uproar  that  absolutely  pre- 
vented the  possibility  of  thought. 

"  Hitherto  our  destination  had  not  been  mentioned,  and  as  all  the 
party  appealed  to  Lady  A.gnes,  I  could  not  be  less  gallant,  and  joined 
them  in  their  request. 

"  '  Well,  then,  what  do  you  think  of  Lambay?'  said  she,  looking 
at  the  same  moment  toward  the  skipper. 

'  We  can  make  it,  my  lady,'  said  the  man,  '  but  we'll  have  a 
roughish  sea  of  it,  for  there's  a  strong  point  of  westward  in  the 
wind.' 

"  '  Then  don't  think  of  it,'  said  I.  '  We  have  come  out  for  pleas- 
ure, not  to  make  our  friends  sick,  or  terrify  them.  It  does  very  weD 
for  us  men. ' 

"  '  There  you  are,  Dirk,  with  your  insolent  sneers  about  woman's 
nerves  and  female  cowardice.  Now,  nothing  but  Lambay  will  con- 
tent me — what  say  you,  ladies?' 

"  A  general  reply  of  approval  met  this  speech,  and  it  was  carried 
by  acclamation. 

'  '  Lambay  then  be  it,"  said  I,  with  the  voice  of  a  man  who,  en- 
treating to  be  shot,  is  informed  that  he  cannot  be  afforded  that 
pleasure,  as  his  sentence  is  to  be  hanged.  But  I  must  hasten  over 
these  painful  recollections.  We  dropped  down  the  river,  and  soon 
left  the  lighthouse  and  its  long  pier  behind  us,  the  mast  bending  like 
a  whip,  and  the  sea  boiling  like  barm  over  the  lee  gunwale.  Still  the 
spirits  of  our  party  only  rose  the  lighter,  and  nothing  but  eulogies 
upon  the  men  and  sailing  of  the  craft  resounded  on  all  sides;  the 
din  and  buzz  of  the  conversation  went  on  only  more  loudly  and  less 
restrictedly  than  if  the  party  had  been  on  shore;  and  all,  even  my- 
self, seemed  happy,  for  up  to  this  moment  I  had  not  been  sea-sick, 
yet  certain  unpleasant  sensations,  that  alternately  evinced  ^themselves 
in  my  stomach  and  my  head,  warned  me  of  what  was  in  store  for 
me.  The  word  was  now  given  to  tack ;  I  was  in  the  act  of  essaying 


HARRY    LORREQTJER.  229 

a  soft  speech  to  Lady  Agnes,  when  the  confounded  cry  arose  of  '  ready 
about,  starboard  there,  let  go  sheets  and  tacks,  stand  by,  haul.'  The 
Vessel  plunged  head  foremost  into  the  boiling  sea,  which  hissed  on 
either  bow;  the  heavy  boom  swung  over,  carrying  rny  hat  along 
with  it — and  almost  my  head  too.  The  rest  of  the  party,  possibly 
better  informed  than  myself,  speedily  changed  their  places  to  the 
opposite  side  of  the  boat,  while  I  remained  holding  off  fast  by  the 
gui  .wale,  till  the  sea,  rushing  over  what  was  now  become  the  lee 
eide,  carried  me  head  over  heels  into  the  shingle  ballast  in  the  waist. 
Lord,  how  they  did  laugh.  Agnes,  too,  who  never  before  could  get  be- 
yond a  very  faint  smile,  grew  almost  hysterical  at  my  performance. 
As  for  me,  I  only  wanted  this  to  complete  my  long  threatened  mis- 
fortune; sea-sickness,  in  all  its  most  miserable  forms,  set  in  upon 
me,  and  ere  half  an  hour  I  lay  upon  that  heap  of  small  stones,  as 
indifferent  to  all  around  and  about  me  as  though  I  was  dead.  Oh, 
the  long  dreary  hours  of  that  melancholy  day !  it  seemed  like  a  year. 
They  tacked  and  tacked,  they  were  beat  and  tacked  again,  the  sea 
washing  over  me,  and  the  ruffianly  sailors  trampling  upon  me  with- 
out the  slightest  remorse,  whenever  they  had  any  occasion  to  pass 
back  or  forward.  From  my  long  trance  of  suffering  I  was  partly 
roused  by  the  steward  shaking  my  shoulder,  saying : 

"  '  The  gentlemen  wish  to  know,  sir,  if  you'd  like  summat  to  eat, 
as  they're  a  goin'  to  have  a  morsel;  we  are  getting  into  slack  water 
now.' 

'  Where  are  we?'  I  replied,  in  a  sepulchral  voice. 

'  Off  the  Hook,  sir;  we  have  had  a  most  splendid  run,  but  I  fear 


•we 


11  catch  it  soon;  there's  some  dirty  weather  to  the  westward.' 


'  God  grant  it, '  said  I,  piously,  and  in  a  low  tone. 
'  Did  you  say  you'd  have  a  bite  to  eat,  sir?' 
'  No!  Eat— am  I  a  cannibal?  Eat! — go  away!  Mark  me,  my 
good  fellow,  I'll  pay  you  your  wages,  if  ever  we  get  ashore;  you'll 
never  set  another  foot  aboard  with  me. ' 

"  The  man  looked  perfectly  astounded  as  he  moved  away,  and  my 
thoughts  were  soon  engrossed  by  the  proceedings  near  me.  The 
rattle  of  knives  and  the  jingling  of  plates  and  glasses-went  on  very 
briskly  for  some  time,  accompanied  by  various  pleasant  observations 
of  my  guests,  for  such  I  judged  them,  from  the  mirth  which  ever 
followed  them.  A.t  last  I  thought  I  heard  my  name,  or  at  least 
what  they  pleased  to  use  as  its  substitute,  mentioned.  I  strained  my 
ears  to  listen,  and  learned  that  they  were  planning  to  talk  over  the 
pretended  intention  to  run  for  Cowes,  and  see  the  regatta.  This 
they  discussed  then,  for  about  twenty  minutes,  in  a  loud  voice,  pur- 
posely to  see  its  effects  upon  me ;  but  as  I  w.as  now  aware  of  the 
trick,  I  gave  no  sign  of  any  intelligence. 

"'Poor  Dirk!'  said  Grantham;  '  I  believe  by  this  time  he  cares 
very  little  which  way  her  head  lies ;  but  here  comes  something  better 
than  all  our  discussions.  Lady  Agnes,  sit  here.  Miss  Pelham, 
here's  a  dry  cushion  for  you.  Did  you  say  a  wing,  Lady  Mary?' 

"  Now  began  the  clash  and  clatter  of  dinner;  champagne  corks 
popping,  glasses  ringing,  and  all  that  peculiar  admixture  of  fracas 
and  fun  which  accompanies  a  scrambled  meal.  How  they  did  laugh 
and  eat,  ay,  and  drink  too.  G.  's  punch  seemed  to  have  its  success, 
for  sick  as  I  was,  I  could  perceive  the  voices  of  the  men  grow  grad- 


230  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

ually  louder,  and  discovered  that  two  gentlemen  who  had  been  re- 
markably timid  in  the  morning,  and  scarcely  opened  their  lips,  were 
now  rather  uproariously  given,  and  one  even  proposed  to  sing. 

"  If  any  man,  thought  I,  were  to  look  for  an  instant  at  the  little 
scene  now  enacting  here,  what  a  moral  might  he  reap  from  it;  talk 
of  the  base  ingratitude  of  the  world,  you  cannot  say  too  much  of  it. 
Who  would  suppose  that  it  was  my  boat  these  people  were  assem- 
bled in;  that  it  was  my  champagne  these  people  were  drinking;  that 
my  venison  and  my  pheasants  were  feeding  those  lips,  which  rarely 
spoke,  except  to  raise  a  jest  at  my  expense.  My  chagrin  increased 
my  sickness,  and  my  sickness  redoubled  my  chagrin. 

"  '  Mr.  Brail,'  said  I,  in  a  low  whisper,  '  Mr.  Brail.' 

"  '  Did  you  speak,  sir?'   said  he,  with  about  as  much  surprise  in 
his  manner,  as  though  he  had  been  addressed  by  a  corpse. 
'  Mr.  Brail,'  said  I,  '  is  there  any  danger  here?' 

"  '  Lord  love  you,  no,  sir;  she's  walking  Spanish,  and  the  sea 
going  down ;  we  shall  have  lovely  weather,  and  they're  all  enjoying 
it,  sir — the  ladies. ' 

"  '  So  I  perceive,'  said  I,  with  a  groan;  '  so  I  perceive;  but,  Mr. 
Brail,  could  you  do  nothing— just  to — to — startle  them  a  little,  I  mean 
for  fun  only?  Just  ship  a  heavy  sea  or  two:  I  don't  care  for  a  little 
damage,  Mr.  Brail,  and  if  it  were  to  wash  over  the  dinner-service, 
and  all  the  wine,  I  should  not  like  it  worse. ' 

"  '  Why,  sir,  you  are  getting  quite  funny,  the  sickness  is  going.' 

"  '  No,  Mr.  Brail,  worse  than  ever,  my  head  is  in  two  pieces,  and 
my  stomach  in  the  back  of  my  mouth ;  but  I  should  like  you  to  do 
this — so  just  manage  it,  will  you,  and  there's  twenty  pounds  in  my 
pocket-book,  you  can  have  it;  there  now,  won't  you  oblige  me? — and 
hark  ye,  Mr.  Brail — if  Captain  Grantham  were  to  be  washed  over 
by  mere  accident,  it  cannot  be  helped;  accidents  are  always  occur- 
ring in  boating  parties.  Go  now,  you  know  what  I  mean. ' 

"  '  But,  sir,'  began  he. 

''  '  Well,  then,  Mr.  Brail,  you  won't — very  well — now  all  I  have 
to  say  is  this:  that  the  moment  I  can  find  strength  to  do  it,  I'll  stave 
out  a  plank;  I'll  scuttle  the  vessel,  that's  all;  I  have  made  up  my 
mind,  and  look  to  yourselves  now. ' 

"  Saying  these  words,  I  again  threw  myself  upon  the  ballast,  and, 
as  the  gay  chorus  of  a  drinking  song  was  wafted  across  me,  prayed 
devoutly  that  we  might  all  go  down  to  the  bottom.  The  song  over, 
I  heard  a  harsh,  grun  voice  mixing  with  the  more  civilized  tones  of 
the  party,  and  soon  perceived  that  Mr.  Brail  was  recounting  my 
proposal  amid  the  most  uproarious  shouts  of  laughter  I  ever  listened 
to.  Then  followed  a  number  of  pleasant  suggestions  for  my  future 
management;  one  proposing  to  have  me  tried  for  mutiny,  and  sen- 
tenced to  a  ducking  over  the  side,  another  that  I  should  be  to  ;Ted  on 
my  back,  to  which  the  latter  most  humane  notion  the  fair  Agnes 
subscribed,  averring  that  she  was  resolved  upon  my  deserving  my 
sobriquet  of  Dirk  Hatteraick.  My  wrath  was  now  the  master  even 
of  deadly  sickness.  I  got  upon  my  knees,  and  having  in  vain  tried 
to  reach  my  legs,  I  struggled  aft.  In  this  posture  did  I  reach  the 
quarter-deck.  What  my  intention  precisely  was  hi  this  excursion,  I 
have  no  notion  of  now,  but  I  have  some  very  vague  idea,  that  I 
meant  to  re-act  the  curse  of  Kchama  upon  the  whole  party.  At  last 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  231 

I  mustered  strength  to  rise;  but  alas!  I  had  scarcely  reached  the 
standing  position,  when  a  tremendous  heel  of  the  boat  to  one  side 
threw  me  into  the  gunwale,  and  before  I  was  able  to  recover  my  bal- 
ance, a  second  lurch  pitched  me  headlong  into  the  sea.  I  have,  thank 
God,  no  further  recollection  of  my  misfortunes.  When  I  again  be- 
came conscious  I  found  myself  wrapped  up  in  a  pilot-coat,  while 
rny  clothes  were  drying;  the  vessel  was  at  anchor,  in  Wexford.  My 
attached  friends  had  started  for  town  with  post-horses,  leaving  me 
no  less  cured  of  love  than  aquatics. 

"  The  '  Delight'  passed  over  in  a  few  days  to  some  more  favored 
son  of  Neptune,  and  I  hid  my  shame  and  my  misfortunes  by  a  year's 
tour  on  the  continent." 

"Although  I  acknowledge,"  said  Trevanion,  "that  hitherto  I 
have  reaped  no  aid  from  Mr.  O'Leary 's  narrative,  yet  I  think  it  is 
not  without  a  moral. ' ' 

"  Well,  but,"  said  I,  "  he  has  got  another  adventure  to  tell  us;  we 
have  quite  time  for  it,  so  pray  pass  the  wine  and  let  us  have  it." 

"  I  have  just  finished  the  Burgundy,"  said  O'Leary,  "  and  if  you 
will  ring  for  another  flask,  I  have  no  objection  to  let  you  hear  the 
story  of  my  second  love." 


CHAPTER  XXXTV. 
MR.  O'LEARY'S  BECOND  LOVE. 

"  You  may  easily  suppose,"  began  Mr.  O'Leary,  "that  the  un- 
happy termination  of  my  first  passion  served  as  a  shield  to  me  for  a 
long  time  aganst  my  unfortunate  tendencies  toward  the  fair,  and 
such  was  really  the  case.  I  never  spoke  to  a  young  lady  for  three 
years  after,  without  a  reeling  in  my  head,  so  associated  in  my  mind 
was  love  and  sea-sickness.  However,  at  last,  what  will  not  time  do? 
It  was  about  four  years  from  the  date  of  this  adventure,  when  I  be- 
came so  oblivious  of  my  former  failure,  as  again  to  tempt  my 
fortune.  My  present  choice,  in  every  way  unlike  the  last,  was  a  gay, 
lively  girl,  of  great  animal  spirits,  and  a  considerable  turn  for  rail- 
lery, that  spared  no  one;  the  members  of  her  own  falhily  were  not 
even  sacred  in  her  eyes;  and  her  father,  a  reverend  dean,  as  fre- 
quently figured  among  the  ludicrous  as  his  neighbors. 

"  The  Evershams  had  been  very  old  friends  of  a  rich  aunt  of  mine, 
who  never,  by  the  bye,  had  condescended  to  notice  me  till  I  made 
their  acquaintance;  but  no  sooner  had  I  done  so,  than  she  sent  for 
me,  and  gave  me  to  understand  that  in  the  event  of  my  succeeding 
to  the  hand  of  Fanny  Eversham,  I  should  be  her  heir  and  the  pos- 
sessor of  about  sixty  thousand  pounds.  She  did  not  stop  here ;  but 
by  canvassing  the  dean  in  my  favor,  speedily  put  the  matter  on  a 
most  favorable  footing,  and  in  less  than  two  months  I  was  received 
as  the  accepted  suitor  of  the  fair  Fanny,  then  one  of  the  reigning 
belles  of  Dublin. 

"  They  lived  at  this  time,  about  three  miles  from  town,  in  a  very  pret- 
ty country,  where  I  used  to  pass  all  my  mornings,  and  many  of  my 
evenings,  too,  in  a  state  of  happiness  that  I  should  have  considered 
perfect,  if  it  were  not  for  two  unhappy  blots — one,  the  taste  of  my 
betrothed  for  laughing  at  her  friends;  another,  the  diabolical  pro- 


232  HARRY    LORREQUER, 

pensity  of  my  intended  father-in-law  to  talk  politics;  to  the  former  I 
could  submit;  but  with  the  latter  submission  only  made  bad  worse; 
for  he  invariably  drew  up  as  I  receded,  dryly  observing  that  with 
men  who  had  no  avowed  opinions,  it  was  ill-agreeing;  or  that,  with 
persons  who  kept  their  politics  as  a  school-boy  does  his  pocket- 
money,  never  to  spend,  and  always  ready  to  change,  it  was  unpleas- 
ant to  dispute.  Such  taunts  as  these  I  submitted  to,  as  well  I  might; 
secretly  resolving,  that  as  I  now  knew  the  meaning  of  whig  and  tory, 
I'd  contrive  to  spend  my  life,  after  marriage,  out  of  the  worthy 
dean's  diocese. 

"  Time  wore  on,  and  at  length,  to  my  most  pressing  solicitations 
it  was  conceded  that  a  day  for  our  marriage  should  be  appointed. 
Not  even  the  unlucky  termination  of  this  my  second  love  affair  can 
deprive  me  of  the  happy  souvenir  of  the  few  weeks  which  were  to 
intervene  before  our  destined  union. 

"  The  mornings  were  passed  in  ransacking  all  the  shops  where 
wedding  finery  could  be  procured — laces,  blondes,  velvets,  and  satins, 
littered  Va-ry  corner  of  the  deanery — and  there  was  scarcely  a  car- 
riage in  a  coach-maker's  yard  in  the  city  that  I  had  not  sat  and 
jumped  in,  to  try  the  springs,  by  the  special  direction  of  Mrs.  Ever- 
sham,  who  never  ceased  to  impress  me  with  the  awful  responsibility 
1  was  about  to  take  upon  me,  in  marrying  so  great  a  prize  as  her 
daughter — a  feeling  I  found  very  general  among  many  of  my  friends 
at  the  Kildare-street  club. 

"  Among  the  many  indispensable  purchases  which  I  was  to  make, 
and  about  which  Fanny  expressed  herself  more  than  commonly 
anxious,  was  a  saddle-horse  for  me.  She  was  a  great  horse-woman, 
and  hated  riding  with  only  a  servant;  and  had  given  me  to  under- 
stand as  much  about  half-a-dozen  times  each  day  for  the  last  five 
weeks.  How  shall  I  acknowledge  it — equestrianism  was  never  my 
forte.  I  had  all  my  life  considerable  respect  for  the  horse  as  an 
animal,  pretty  much  as  I  dreaded  a  lion  or  a  tiger;  but  as  to  any 
intention  of  mounting  upon  the  back  of  one,  and  taking  a  ride,  I 
should  as  soon  have  dreamed  of  taking  an  airing  upon  a  giraffe;  and 
as  to  the  thought  of  buying,  feeding,  and  maintaining  such  a  beast 
at  my  own  proper  cost,  I  should  just  as  soon  have  determined  to 
purchase  a  pillory  or  a  ducking-stool,  by  way  of  amusing  my  leisure 
hours. 

"  However,  Fanny  was  obstinate — whether  she  suspected  anything 
or  not  I  cannot  say — but  nothing  seemed  to  turn  her  from  her  pur- 
pose; and  although  I  pleaded  a  thousand  things  in  delay,  yet  she 
grew  each  day  more  impatient,  and  at  last  I  saw  there  was  nothing 
for  it  but  to  submit. 

"  When  I  arrived  at  this  last  bold  resolve,  I  could  not  help  feeling 
that  to  possess  a  horse,  and  not  be  able  to  mount  him,  was  only  de- 
ferring the  ridicule ;  and  as  I  had  so  often  expressed  the  difficulty  I 
felt  in  suiting  myself  as  a  cause  of  my  delay,  I  could  not  possibly 
come  forward  with  anything  very  objectionable,  or  I  should  be  only 
the  more  laughed  at.  There  was,  then,  but  one  course  to  take;  a 
fortnight  still  intervened  before  the  day  which  w^as  to  make  me 
happy,  and  I  accordingly  resolved  to  take  lessons  in  riding  during 
ihe  intervals,  and  by  every  endeavor  in  my  power  become,  if  possible, 
able  to  pass  muster  on  the  saddle  before  my  bride. 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  233 

"Poor  old  Lalouette  understood  but  little  of  the  urgency  of  the 
case,  when  I  requested  his  leave  to  take  my  lessons  each  morning  at 
six  o'clock,  for  I  dared  not  absent  myself  during  the  day  without 
exciting  suspicion ;  and  never,  I  will  venture  to  assert,  did  knight- 
errant  of  old  strive  harder  for  the  hand  of  his  lady-love  than  did  I 
during  that  weary  fortnight;  if  a  hippogriff  had  been  the  animal  I 
bestrode,  instead  of  being,  as  it  was,  an  old  wall-eyed  gray,  I  could 
not  have  felt  more  misgivings  at  my  temerity,  or  more  proud  of  my 
achievement.  In  the  first  three  days  the  unaccustomed  exercise 
proved  so  severe,  that  when  I  reached  the  deanery  I  could  hardly 
move,  and  crossed  the  floor  pretty  much  as  a  pair  of  compasses  might 
be  supposed  to  do  if  performing  that  exploit.  Nothing,  however, 
could  equal  the  kindness  of  my  poor  dear  mother-in-law  in  embryo, 
and  even  the  dean  too.  Fanny  indeed,  said  nothing;  but  I  rather 
think  she  was  disposed  to  giggle  a  little;  but  my  rheumatism,  as  it 
was  called,  was  daily  inquired  after,  and  I  was  compelled  to  take 
some  infernal  stuff  in  my  port  wine,  at  dinner,  that  nearly  made  me 
sick  at  table." 

"  '  I  am  sure  you  walk  too  much, '  said  Fanny,  with  one  of  her 
knowing  looks.  '  Papa,  don't  you  think  he  ought  to  ride?  it  would 
be  much  better  for  him. ' 

"  '  I  do,  my  dear,'  said  the  dean.  '  But  then  you  see  he  is  so  hard 
to  be  pleased  in  a  horse.  Your  old  hunting  days  have  spoiled  you; 
but  you  must  forget  Melton  and  Grantham,  and  condescend  to 
keep  a  hack. ' 

"  I  must  have  looked  confoundedly  foolish  here,  for  Fanny  never 
took  her  eyes  off  me,  and  continued  to  laugh  in  her  own  wicked  way. 

"  It  was  now  about  the  ninth  or  tenth  day  of  my  purgatorial  per- 
formances; and  certainly,  if  there  be  any  merit  in  fleshly  mortifica- 
tions, these  religious  exercises  of  mine  should  stand  my  part  here- 
after. A  review  had  been  announced  in  the  Phenix  park,  which 
Fanny  had  expressed  herself  most  desirous  to  witness ;  and  as  the 
dean  would  not  permit  her  to  go  without  a  chaperon,  I  had  no 
means  of  escape,  and  promised  to  escort  her.  No  sooner  had  I  made 
this  rash  pledge  than  I  hastened  to  my  confidential  friend,  Lalouette, 
and  having  imparted  to  him  my  entiie  secret,  asked  him  in  a  solemn 
and  imposing  manner,  '  Can  I  do  it?'  The  old  man  sHook  his  head 
dubiously,  looked  grave,  and  muttered  at  length,  '  Mosch  depend  on 
de  horse.'  '  I  know  it — I  know  it — I  feel  it,'  said  I,  eagerly — '  then 
where  are  we  to  find  an  animal  that  will  carry  me  peaceably  through 
this  awful  day?  I  care  not  for  his  price." 

' ' '  Votre  affaire  ne  sera  pas  trop  chere, '  said  he. 
'  Why,  how  do  you  mean?'  said  I. 

"  He  then  proceeded  to  inform  me  that,  by  a  singularly  fortunate 
chance,  there  took  place  that  day  an  auction  of  '  cast  horses, '  as  they 
are  termed,  which  had  been  used  in  the  horse  police  force;  and  that 
from  long  riding  and  training  to  stand  fire,  nothing  could  be  more 
suitable  than  one  of  these,  being  both  easy  to  ride  and  not  given  to 
start  at  noise. 

"  I  could  have  almost  hugged  the  old  fellow  for  his  happy  sugges- 
tion, and  waited  with  impatience  for  three  o'clock  to  come,  when  we 
repaired  together  to  Essexbridge,  at  that  time  the  place  selected  foi 
theae  sales. 


234  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

"  I  was  at  first  a  little  shocked  at  the  look  of  the  animals  drawn 
up;  they  were  most  miserably  thin,  most  of  them  swelled  in  the  legs, 
few  without  sore  backs,  and  not  one  eye  on  an  average  in  every 
three;  but  still  they  were  all  high-steppers,  and  carried  a  great  tail. 
'  There's  your  affaire,'  said  the  old  Frenchman,  as  a  long-legged  fid- 
dle-headed beast  was  led  out ;  turning  out  his  forelegs  so  as  to  en- 
danger the  man  who  walked  beside  him. 

Yes,  there's  blood  for  you,'  said  Charley  Dycer,  seeing  my  eye 
fixed  on  the  wretched  beast;  'equal  to  fifteen  stone  with  any  fox- 
hounds; safe  in  all  his  paces,  and  warranted  sound;  except,'  added 
he,  in  a  whisper,  '  a  slight  spavin  in  both  hind  legs,  ring  bone,  and 
a  little  touched  in  the  wind. '  Here  the  animal  gave  an  approving 
cough.  'Will  any  gentleman  say  fifty  pounds  to  begin?'  But  no 
gentleman  did.  A  hackney-coachman,  however,  said  five,  and  the 
sale  was  opened;  the  beast  trotting  up  and  down  nearly  over  the  bid- 
ders at  every  moment,  and  plunging  on  so  that  it  was  impossible  to 
know  what  was  doing. 

"  '  Five,  ten — fifteen — six  pounds — thank  you,  sir— guineas' — 
seven  pounds,'  said  I,  bidding  against  myself,  not  perceiving  that  I 
had  spoken  last.  'Thank  you,  Mr.  Monarty,'  said  Dycer,  turning 
toward  an  invisible  purchaser  supposed  to  be  in  the  crowd.  '  Thank 
you,  sir,  you'll  not  let  a  good  one  go  that  way.'  Every  one  here 
turned  to  find  out  the  very  knowing  gentleman;  but  he  could  no 
where  be  seen. 

"  Dycer  resumed,  '  Seven  ten,  for  Mr.  Moriarty.  Going  for 
seven  ten — a  cruel  sacrifice — there's  action  for  you — playful  beast. ' 
Here  the  devil  had  stumbled  and  nearly  killed  a  basket  woman  with 
two  children. 

"  '  Eight,'  said  I,  with  a  loud  voice. 

"'Eight  pounds,  quite  absurd,'  said  Dycer,  almost  rudely;  'a 
charger  like  that  for  eight  pounds — going  for  eight  pounds — 
going — nothing  above  eight  pounds — no  reserve,  gentlemen,  you  are 
aware  of  that.  They  are  all,  as  it  were,  his  majesty's  stud — no  re- 
serve whatever — last  time,  eight  pounds — gone. ' 

"  Amid  a  very  hearty  cheer  from  the  mob,  God  knows  why,  but  a 
Dublin  mob  always  cheer — I  returned  accompanied  by  a"  ragged 
fellow,  leading  my  new  purchase  after  me  with  a  hay  halter. 

'  What  is  the  meaning  of  those  letters,'  said  I,  pointing  to  a  very- 
conspicuous  G.  R.,  with  sundry  other  enigmatical  signs,  burned 
upon  the  animal's  hind  quarter. 

"  '  That's  to  show  he  was  a  po-lis,'  said  the  fellow  with  a  grin; 
'  and  when  ye  ride  with  ladies,  ye  must  turn  the  decoy  side.' 

The  auspicious  morning  at  last  arrived;  and,  strange  to  say,  that 
the  first  waking  thought  was  of  the  unlucky  day  that  ushered  in  my 
yachting  excursion,  four  years  before.  Why  this  was  so  I  cannot 
pretend  to  guess;  there  was  but  little  analogy  in  the  circumstances, 
at  least  so  far  as  anything  had  then  gone.  '  How  is  Marius?'  said  I 
to  my  servant,  as  he  opened  my  shutters.  Here  let  me  mention  that 
a  friend  of  the  Kildare  Street  club  had  suggested  this  name  from  the 
remarkably  classic  character  of  my  steed's  countenance;  his  nose,  he 
assured  me,  was  perfectly  Roman. 

' '  Marius  is  doing  finely,  sir,  barring  his  cough,  and  the  trifle  that 
luls  his  hind  legs.' 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  235 

1 '  He'll  carry  me  quietly,  Simon;  eh?' 

'  '  Quietly!    I'll  warrant  he'll  carry  you  quietly,  if  that's  all.' 

"  Here  was  comfort,  certainly.  Simon  had  lived  forty  years  as 
pantry  boy  with  my  mother,  and  knew  a  great  deal  about  horses.  I 
dressed  myself  therefore,  in  high  spirits;  and  if  my  pilot  jacket  and 
oil-skin  cap  in  former  days  had  half  persuaded  me  that  I  was  born 
for  marine  achievements,  certainly  my  cords  and  tops,  that  morning, 
went  far  to  convince  me  that  I  must  have  once  been  a  very  keen 
sportsman  somewhere,  without  knowing  it.  It  was  a  delightful  July 
day  that  I  set  out  to  join  my  friends,  who,  having  recruited  a  large 
party,  were  to  rendezvous  at  the  corner  of  Stephen  's-green  thither  I 
proceeded  in  a  certain  ambling  trot,  which  I  have  often  observed  is  a 
very  favorite  pace  with  timid  horsemen,  and  gentlemen  of  the  medi- 
cal profession.  I  was  hailed  with  a  most  hearty  welcome  by  a  large 
party  as  I  turned  out  of  Grafton-street,  among  whom  I  perceived 
several  friends  of  Miss  Eversham,  and  some  young  dragoon  officers, 
not  of  my  acquaintance,  but  who  appeared  to  know  Fanny  intimately, 
and  were  laughing  heartily  with  her  as  I  rode  up. 

"  I  don't  know  if  other  men  have  experienced  what  I  am  about  to 
mention  or  not;  but  certainly  to  me  there  is  no  more  painful  sensa- 
tion than  to  find  yourself  among  a  number  of  well-mounted,  well- 
equipped  people,  while  the  animal  you  yourself  bestride  seems  only 
fit  for  the  kennel.  Every  look  that  is  cast  at  your  unlucky  steed — 
every  whispered  observation  about  you  are  so  many  thorns  in  your 
flesh,  till  at  last  you  begin  to  feel  that  your  appearance  is. for  very 
little  else  than  the  amusement  and  mirth  of  the  assembly;  and  every 
time  you  rise  in  your  stirrups  you  excite  a  laugh. 

"  '  Where,  for  mercy's  sake,  did  you  find  that  creature?'  said 
Fanny,  surveying  Marius  through  her  glass. 

"  '  Oh,  him,  eh?  Why,  he  is  a  handsome  horse,  if  in  condition — 
a  charger,  you  know — that's  his  style.' 

"  '  Indeed,'  lisped  a  young  lancer,  '  I  should  be  devilish  sorry  to 
charge,  or  be  charged  with  him. '  And  here  they  all  chuckled  at 
this  puppy's  silly  joke,  and  I  drew  up  to  repress  further  liberties. 

"  '  Is  he  anything  of  a  fencer?'  said  a  young  country  gentlemen. 

"  'To  judge  from  his  near  eye,  I  should  say  much  more  of  a 
boxer, '  said  another. 

"  Here  commenced  a  running  fire  of  pleasantry  at  the  expense  of 
my  poor  steed;  which,  not  content  with  attacking  his  physical,  ex- 
tended to  his  moral  qualities.  An  old  gentleman  near  me  observing, 
.'  that  I  ought  not  to  have  mounted  him  at  all,  seeing  he  was  so 
deuced  groggy;'  to  which  I  replied,  by  insinuating,  that  if  others 
present  were  as  free  from  the  influence  of  ardent  spirits,  society 
would  not  be  a  sufferer;  an  observation  that,  I  flatter  myself,  turned 
the  mirth  against  the  old  fellow,  for  they  all  laughed  for  a  quarter  of 
an  hour  after. 

"  Well,  at  last  we  set  out  in  a  brisk  trot,  and,  placed  near  Fanny, 
I  speedily  forgot  all  my  annoyances  in  the  prospect  of  figuring  to  ad- 
vantage before  her.  When  we  reached  the  College-green  the  leaders 
of  the  cortege  suddenly  drew  up,  and  we  soon  found  that  the  entire 
street  opposite  the  Bank  was  filled  with  a  dense  mob  of  people,  who 
appeared  to  be  swayed  hither  and  thither,  like  some  mighty  beast,  as 
the  individuals  composing  it  were  engaged  in  close  conflict.  It  was 


236  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

nothing  more  nor  less  than  one  of  those  almost  weekly  rows  which 
then  took  place  between  the  students  of  the  University  and  the 
towu's-people,  and  which  rare'. ,- ended  without  serious  consequences. 
The  numbers  of  people  pressing  on  to  the  Ktene  of  action  soon  blocked 
up  our  retreat,  and  we  found  ourselves  most  unwilling  spectators  of 
the  conflict.  Political  watch-words  were  loudly  shouted  by  each 
party;  and  at  last  the  students,  who  appeared  to  be  yielding  to  supe- 
rior numbers,  called  out  for  the  intervention  of  the  police.  The  aid 
was  nearer  than  they  expected;  for  at  the  same  instant  a  body  of 
mounted  policemen,  whose  high  helmets  rendered  them  sufficiently 
conspicuous,  were  seen  trotting  at  a  sharp  pace  down  Dame- street. 
On  they  came  with  drawn  sabers,  led  by  a  well-looking  gentleman- 
like personage  in  plain  clothes,  who  dashed  at  once  into  the  middle 
of  the  fray,  issuing  his  orders,  and  pointing  out  to  his  followers  to 
secure  the  ringleaders.  Up  to  this  moment  I  had  been  a  most  patient 
and  rather  amused  spectator  of  what  was  doing.  Now,  however,  my 
part  was  to  commence,  for  at  the  word  '  Charge, '  given  in  a  harsh, 
deep  voice  by  the  sergeant  of  the  party,  Marixis,  remembering  his 
ancient  instinct,  pricked  up  his  ears,  cocked  his  tail,  flung  up  both 
his  hind  legs  till  they  nearly  broke  the  Provost's  windows,  and 
plunged  into  the  thickest  of  the  fray  like  a  devil  incarnate. 

"  Self -preservation  must  be  a  strong  instinct,  for  I  well  remember 
how  little  pain  it  cost  me  to  see  the  people  tumbling  and  rolling 
beneath  me,  while  I  continued  to  keep  my  seat.  It  was  only  a  mo- 
ment before,  and  that  immense  mass  were  a  man  to  man  encounter, 
now  all  the  indignation  of  both  parties  seemed  turned  upon  me; 
brick-bats  were  loudly  implored,  and  paving-stones  begged  to  throw 
at  my  devoted  head;  the  wild  huntsman  of  the  German  romance 
never  created  half  the  terror,  nor  one-tenth  of  the  mischief  that  I  did 
in  less  than  fifteen  minutes,  for  the  ill-starred  beast  continued  twin- 
ing and  twisting  like  a  serpent,  plunging  and  kicking  the  entire 
time,  and  occasionally  biting,  too;  all  which  accomplishments,  I 
afterward  learned,  however  little  in  request  in  civil  life,  are  highly 
prized  in  the  horse  police. 

"  Every  new  order  of  the  sergeant  was  followed  in  his  own  fashion 
by  Harms,  who  very  soon  contrived  to  concentrate  in  my  unhappy 
person  all  the  interest  of  about  fifteen  hundred  people. 

'  '  Secure  that  scoundrel, '  said  the  magistrate,  pointing  with  his 
finger  toward  me,  as  I  rode  over  a  respectable  looking  old  lady,  with 
a  gray  muff.  '  Secure  him.  Cut  him  down. ' 

'  '  Ah,  devil's  luck  to  him,  if  ye  do,'  said  a  newsmonger  with  a 
broken  shin. 

"  On  I  went,  however;  and  now,  as  the  Fates  would  have  it, 
instead  of  bearing  me  out  of  further  danger,  the  confounded  brute 
dashed  onward  to  where  the  magistrate  was  standing,  surrounded  by 
policemen.  I  thought  I  saw  him  change  color  as  I  came  on.  I  sup- 
pose my  own  looks  were  none  of  the  pleasantest,  for  the  worthy  man 
evidently  liked  them  not.  Into  the  midst  of  them  we  plungea,  up- 
setting a  corporal,  horse  and  all,  and  appearing  as  if  bent  upon 
reaching  the  alderman. 

' '  Cut  him  down,  for  Heaven's  sake.     "Will  nobody  shoot  him?' 
said  he,  with  a  voice  trembling  with  fear  and  anger. 
"  At  these  words  a  wretch  lifted  up  his  saber,  and  made  a  cut  at 


HAltfiY    LOR11EQUER.  237 

ttiy  head.  I  stooped  suddenly,  and  throwing  myself  from  the  sad- 
dle, seized  the  poor  alderman  round  the  neck,  and  both  came  rolling 
to  the  ground  together.  So  completely  was  he  possessed  with  the 
notion  that  I  meant  to  assassinate  him,  that  while  I  was  endeavoring 
to  extricate  myself  from  his  grasp,  he  continued  to  beg  his  life  in  the 
most  heart-rending  manner. 

"  My  story  is  now  soon  told.  So  effectually  did  they  rescue  the 
alderman  from  his  danger  that  they  left  me  insensible,  and  I  only 
came  to  myself  some  days  after  by  finding  myself  in  the  dock  in 
Green  Street,  charged  with  an  indictment  of  nineteen  counts;  the 
only  word  of  truth  is  what  lay  hi  the  preamble,  for  the  '  devil  incit- 
ing '  me  only,  would  ever  have  made  me  the  owner  of  that  infernal 
beast,  the  cause  of  all  my  misfortunes.  I  was  so  stupefied  from  my 
beating  that  I  know  little  of  the  course  of  the  proceedings.  My 
friends  told  me  afterward  that  I  had  a  narrow  escape  from  trans- 
portation; but  for  the  greatest  influence  exerted  in  my  behalf,  I 
should  certainly  have  passed  the  autumn  in  the  agreeable  recreation 
of  pounding  oyster-shells  or  carding  wool ;  and  it  certainly  must 
have  gone  hard  with  me,  for,  stupefied  as  I  was,  I  remember  the 
sensation  hi  court  when  the  alderman  made  his  appearance  with  a 
patch  over  his  eye.  The  affecting  admonition  of  the  little  judge — 
who,  when  passing  sentence  upon  me,  adverted  to  the  former  re- 
spectability of  my  life  and  the  rank  of  my  relatives — actually  made 
the  galleries  weep. 

"  Four  months  in  Newgate  and  a  fine  to  the  king,  then  rewarded 
my  taste  for  horse  exercise;  and  it's  no  wonder  if  I  prefer  going  on 
foot. 

"As  to  Miss  Eversham,  the  following  short  note  from  the  dean 
concluded  my  hopes  hi  that  quarter: 

"  DEANERY,  Wednesday  morning. 

"  '  SIR, — After  the  very  distressing  publicity  to  which  your  late 
conduct  has  exposed  you — the  so  open  avowal  of  political  opinion,  at 
variance  with  those  (I  will  say)  of  every  gentleman — and  the  record- 
ed sentence  of  a  judge  on  the  verdict  of  twelve  of  your  countrymen 
— I  should  hope  that  you  will  not  feel  my  present  admonition  neces- 
sary to  inform  you  that  your  visits  to  my  house  shall  cease. 

"  '  The  presents  you  made  my  daughter,  when  under  our  unfort- 
unate ignorance  of  your  real  character,  have  been  addressed  to  your 
hotel,  and  I  am  your  most  obedient,  humble  servant, 

"  '  OLIVER  EVERSHAM.' 

"  Here  ended  my  second  affair  'par  at/iours;'  and  I  freely  confess 
to  you  that  if  I  can  only  obtain  a  wife  in  a  sea  voyage,  or  a  steeple 
chase,  I  am  likely  to  fulfill  one  great  condition  hi  modern  advertis- 
ing— '  as  having  no  incumbrance,  nor  any  objection  to  travel.' >; 


CHAPTER  XXXV. 

THE  DUEL. 

MR.  O'LEARY  had  scarcely  concluded  the  narrative  of  his  second 
adventure,  when  the  gray  light  of  the  breaking  day  was  seen  faintly 
struggling  through  the  half -closed  curtains,  and  apprising  us  of  the 
lateness  of  the  hour. 


238  HARRY    LOEREQUER. 

"  I  think  we  shall  just  have  time  for  one  finishing  flask  of  Cham 
bertin,"  said  O'Leary,  as  he  emptied  the  bottle  into  his  glass. 

"  I  forbid  the  bans  for  one,"  cried  Trevanion.  "  We  have  all  had 
wine  enough,  considering  what  we  have  before  us  this  morning ;  and 
besides  you  are  not  aware  it  is  now  past  four  o'clock.  So,  garcon — 
garcon,  there — how  soundly  the  poor  fellow  sleeps — let  us  have  some 
coffee,  and  then  inquire  if  a  carriage  is  in  waiting  at  the  corner  of 
the  Rue  Vivienne." 

The  coffee  made  its  appearance,  very  much,  as  it  seemed,  to  Mr. 
O'Leary's  chagrin;  who,  however,  solaced  himself  by  sundry  petits 
verres,  to  correct  the  coldness  of  the  wine  he  had  drank,  and  at 
length  recovered  his  good  humor. 

"  Do  you  know  now,"  said  he,  after  a  short  pause,  in  which  we 
had  all  kept  silence,  "  1  think  what  we  are  about  to  do  is  the  very 
ugliest  way  of  finishing  a  pleasant  evening.  For  my  own  part  I  like 
the  wind  up  we  used  to  have  in  '  Old  Trinity  '  formerly;  when  after 
wringing  off  half  a  dozen  knockers,  breaking  the  lamps  at  the  post- 
office,  and  getting  out  the  fire-engines  of  Werburgh's  parish,  we  beat 
a  few  watchmen  and  went  peaceably  to  bed." 

"  "Well,  not  being  an  Irishman,"  said  Trevanion,  "  I'm  half  dis 
posed  to  think  that  even  our  present  purpose  is  nearly  as  favorable  to 
life  and  limb;  but  here  comes  my  servant.  Well,  John,  is  all 
arranged,  and  the  carnage  ready?" 

Having  ascertained  that  the  carriage  was  in  waiting,  and.  that  the 
small  box — brass-bound  and  Bramah-locked— -reposed  within,  we  paid 
our  bill  and  departed.  A  cold,  raw;  misty-looking  morning,  with 
masses  of  dark  lowering  clouds  overhead,  and  channels  of  dark  and 
murky  water  beneath,  were  the  pleasant  prospects  which  met  us  as 
we  issued  forth  from  the  cafe.  The  lamps,  which  hung  suspended 
midway  across  the  street  (we  speak  of  some  years  since),  creaked  with 
a  low  and  plaintive  sound,  as  they  swung  backward  and  foiward  in 
the  wind.  Not  a  footstep  was  heard  in  the  street,  nothing  but  the 
heavy  patter  of  the  rain  as  it  fell  ceaselessly  upon  the  broad  pave- 
ment. It  was,  indeed,  a  most  depressing  and  dispiriting  accompani- 
ment to  our  intended  excursion:  and  even  O'Leary,  who  seemed  to 
have  but  slight  sympathy  with  external  influences,  felt  it,  for  he 
spoke  but  little,  and  was  scarcely  ten  minutes  in  the  carriage  till  he 
was  sound  asleep.  This  was,  I  confess,  a  great  relief  tome;  for, 
however  impressed  I  was,  and  to  this  hour  am,  with  the  many 
sterling  qualities  of  my  poor  friend,  yet,  I  acknowledge,  that  this 
was  not  precisely  the  time  I  should  have  cared  for  their  exercise,  and 
would  have  much  preferred  the  companionship  of  a  different  order 
of  person,  even  though  less  long  acquainted  with  him.  Trevanion 
was,  of  all  others,  the  most  suitable  for  this  purpose;  and  I  felt  no 
embarrassment  in  opening  my  mind  freely  to  him  upon  subjects 
which,  but  twenty-four  hours  previous,  I  could  not  have  imparted 
to  a  brother. 

There  is  no  such  unlocker  of  the  secrets  of  the  heart  as  the  possibly 
near  approach  of  death.  Indeed,  I  question  if  a  great  deal  of  the  bitter- 
ness the  thought  of  it  inspires  does  not  depend  upon  that  very  circum- 
stance. The  reflection  that  the  long-treasured  mystery  of  our  lives 
(and  who  is  there  without  some  such?)  is  about  to  become  known, 
and  the  secret  of  our  inmost  heart  laid  bare,  is  in  itself  depressing. 


HARRY    LORREQTJER.  239 

Kot  one  kind  word,  nor  one  remembrancing  adieu,  to  those  we  are 
to  leave  forever,  can  be  spoken  or  written,  without  calling  up  its  own 
story  of  half -forgotten  griefs,  or,  still  worse,  at  such  a  moment,  of 
happiness  never  again  to  be  partaken  of. 

"  I  cannot  explain  why,"  said  I  to  Trevanion,  "  but  although  it 
has  unfortunately  been  pretty  often  my  lot  to  have  gone  out  on  oc- 
casions like  this,  both  as  principal  and  friend,  yet  never  before  did  I 
feel  so  completely  depressed  and  low-spirited— and  never,  in  fact, 
did  so  many  thoughts  of  regret  arise  before  me  for  much  of  the  past, 
and  sorrow  for  the  chance  of  abandoning  the  future " 

"  I  can  understand, "  said  Trevanion,  interrupting —  "  I  have  heard 
of  your  prospect  in  the  Callonby  family,  and  certainly,  with  such 
hopes,  I  can  well  conceive  how  little  one  would  be  disposed  to  brook 
the  slightest  incident  which  could  interfere  with  their  accomplish- 
ment; but,  now,  that  your  cousin  Guy's  pretensions  in  that  quarter 
are  at  an  end,  I  suppose,  from  all  I  have  heard,  that  there  can  be  no 
great  obstacle  to  yours." 

"  Guy's  pretensions  at  an  end!  For  Heaven's  sake,  tell  me  all  you 
know  of  this  affair — for  up  to  this  moment  I  am  in  utter  ignorance 
of  everything  regarding  his  position  among  the  Callonby  family." 

'•'  Unfortunately,"  replied  Trevanion,  "  I  know  but  little,  but  still 
that  little  is  authentic — Guy  himself  having  imparted  the  secret  to  a 
very  intimate  friend  of  mine.  It  appears,  then,  that  your  cousin, 
having  heard  that  the  Callonbys  had  been  very  civil  to  you  in  Ire- 
land, and  made  all  manner  of  advances  to  you — had  done  so  under 
the  impression  that  you  were  the  other  nephew  of  Sir  Guy,  and  con- 
sequently the  heir  of  a  large  fortune — that,  is,  Guy  himself — and  that 
they  had  never  discovered  the  mistake  during  the  time  they  resided 
in  Ireland,  when  they  not  only  permitted,  but  even  encouraged  the 
closest  intimacy  between  you  and  Lady  Jane.  Is  so  far  true?" 

"  I  have  long  suspected  it.  Indeed  in  no  other  way  can  I  account 
for  the  reception  I  mel  with  from  the  Callonbys.  But  is  it  possible 
that  Lady  Jane  could  have  lent  herself  to  anything  so  unworthy " 

"  Pray,  hear  me  out,"  said  Trevanion,  who  was  evidently  struck 
by  the  despondency  of  my  voice,  and  manner.  "  Guy,  having  heard 
of  their  mistake,  and  auguring  well  to  himself  from  this  evidence  of 
their  disposition,  no  sooner  heard  of  their  arrival  in  Paris,  than  he 
came  over  here  and  got  introduced  to  them.  From  that  time  he 
scarcely  ever  left  their  house,  except  to  accompany  them  into  society, 
or  to  the  theaters.  It  is  said  that  with  Lady  Jane  he  made  no  prog- 
ress. Her  manner,  at  the  beginning  cold  and  formal,  became  daily 
more  so;  until,  at  last,  he  was  half  disposed  to  abandon  the  pursuit — 
in  which,  by  the  bye,  he  has  since  confessed,  moneyed  views  entered 
more  than  any  affection  for  the  lady — when  the  thought  struck  him  to 
benefit  by  what  he  supposed  at  first  to  be  the  great  bar  to  his  success. 
He  suddenly  pretended  to  be  only  desirous  of  an  intimacy  with  Lady 
Jane,  from  having  heard  so  much  of  her  from  you — affected  to  be 
greatly  in  your  confidence — and,  in  fact,  assumed  the  character  of  a 
friend  cognizant  of  all  your  feelings  and  hopes,  and  ardently  de- 
siring, by  every  means  hi  his  power,  to  advance  your  views " 

"  And  was  it  thus  he  succeeded?"  I  broke  in. 

"  'Twas  thus  he  endeavored  to  suroeed,"  said  Trevanion. 

''Ah,  with  what  success  I  but  tou  well  know,"  said  I.    "My 


240  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

uncle  himself  showed  me  a  letter  from  Guy,  in  which  he  absolutely 
speaks  of  the  affair  as  settled,  and  talks  of  Lady  Jane  as  about  to  be 
his  wife." 

"  That  may  be  all  quite  true ;  but  a  little  consideration  of  Guy's  tac- 
tics will  show  what  he  intended;  for  I  find  that  he  induced  your 
uncle,  by  some  representations  of  his,  to  make  the  most  handsome 
proposals,  with  regard  to  the  marriage,  to  the  Callonbys ;  and  that, 
to  make  the  story  short,  nothing  but  the  decided  refusal  of  Lady 
Jane,  who  at  length  saw  through  his  entire  game,  prevented  the 
match." 

"  And  then  she  did  refuse  him?"  said  I,  with  ill-repressed  exul- 
tation. 

"  Of  that  there  can  be  no  doubt;  for  independently  of  all  the  gos- 
sip and  quizzing  upon  the  subject  to  which  Guy  was  exposed  in  the 
coteries,  he  made  little  secret  of  it  himself — openly  avowing  that  he 
did  not  consider  a  repulse  a  defeat,  and  that  he  was  resolved  to  sus- 
tain the  siege  as  vigorously  as  ever." 

However  interested  I  felt  in  all  Trevanion  was  telling  me,  I  could 
not  help  falling  into  a  train  of  thinking  on  my  first  acquaintance 
with  the  Callonbys.  There  are,  perhaps,  but  few  things  more 
humiliating  than  the  knowledge  that  any  attention  or  consideration 
we  have  met  with,  has  been  paid  us  in  mistake  for  another;  and  in 
the  very  proportion  that  they  were  prized  before,  are  they  detested 
when  the  truth  is  known  to  us. 

To  all  the  depressing  influences  these  thoughts  suggested,  came 
the  healing  balm  that  Lady  Jane  was  true  to  me— that  she,  at  least, 
however  others  might  be  biased  by  worldly  considerations — that  she 
cared  for  me — for  myself  alone.  My  reader  (alas !  for  my  character 
for  judgment)  knows  upon  how  little  I  founded  the  conviction;  but  I 
have  often,  in  these  confessions,  avowed  my  failing,  par  excellence,  to 
be  a  great  taste  for  self-deception ;  and  here  was  a  capital  occasion 
for  its  indulgence. 

"  We  shall  have  abundant  time  to  discuss  this  later  on,"  said  Tre- 
vanion, laying  his  hand  upon  my  shoulder  to  rouse  my  wandering 
attention — "  for  now  I  perceive,  we  have  only  eight  minutes  to 
spare." 

As  he  spoke  a  dragoon  officer,  in  an  undress,  rode  up  to  the  window 
of  the  carriage,  and  looking  steadily  at  our  party  for  a  few  seconds, 
asked  if  we  were  "  Messieurs  les  Anglais;"  and,  almost  without  wait- 
ing for  a  reply,  added,  "  You  had  better  not  go  any  further  in  your 
carriage,  for  the  next  turn  of  the  road  will  bring  you  in  sight  01  the 
village." 

We  accordingly  stopped  the  driver,  and  having  with  some  difficulty 
aroused  O'Leary,  got  out  upon  the  road.  The  mililaire  here  gave 
his  horse  to  a  groom  and  proceeded  to  guide  us  through  a  corn-field 
by  a  narrow  path,  with  whose  windings  and  crossings  he  appeared 
quite  conversant.  We  at  length  reached  the  brow  of  a  little  hill, 
from  which  an  extended  view  of  the  country  lay  before  us,  showing 
the  Seme  winding  its  tranquil  course  between  the  richly  tilled 
fields,  dotted  with  many  a  pretty  cottage.  Turning  abruptly  from 
this  point,  our  guide  led  us  by  a  narrow  and  steep  path  into  a  little 
glen,  planted  with  poplars  and  willows.  A  small  stream  ran  thro ugb 


HARRY    LORREQUBR. 

this,  and  by  the  noise  we  soon  detected  that  a  mill  was  not  far  dis- 
tant, which  another  turning  brought  us  at  once  in  front  of. 

And  here  1  cannot  help  dwelling  on  the  "  tableau"  which  met  our 
view.  In  the  porch  of  the  little  rural  mill  sat  two  gentlemen,  one 
of  whom  I  immediately  recognized  as  the  person  who  had  waited 
upon  me,  and  the  other  I  rightly  conjectured  to  be  my  adversary. 
Before  them  stood  a  small  table,  covered  with  a  spotless  napkin, 
upon  which  a  breakfast  equipage  was  spread — a  most  inviting  melon 
and  a  long  slender-necked  bottle,  reposing  in  a  little  ice-pail,  form- 
ing part  of  the  "materiel.'"  My  opponent  was  coolly  en  joying  his 
cigar— a  half -finished  cup  of  coffee  lay  beside  him — his  friend  was 
occupied  in  examining  the  caps  of  the  dueling  pistols,  which  were 
placed  upon  a  chair.  No  sooner  had  we  turned  the  angle  which 
brought  us  in  view  than  they  both  rose,  and  taking  off  then*  hats 
with  much  courtesy,  bade  us  good-morning. 

"  May  I  offer  you  a  cup  of  coffee,"  said  Monsieur  Derigny  to  me, 
as  I  came  up,  at  the  same  time  filling  it  out,  and  pushing  over  a  little 
flask  of  Cogniac  toward  me. 

A  look  from  Trevanion  decided  my  acceptance  of  the  proffered 
civility,  and  I  seated  myself  in  the  chair  beside  the  baron.  Trevanion 
meanwhile  had  engaged  my  adversary  in  conversation  along  with 
the  stranger,  who  had  been  our  guide,  leaving  O'Leary  alone  unoc- 
eupied,  which,  however,  he  did  Lot  long  remain;  for,  although  un- 
invited by  the  others,  he  seized  a  knife  and  fork,  and  commenced  a 
vigorous  attack  upon  a  partridge  pie  near  him ;  and,  with  equal  ab- 
sence of  ceremony,  uncorked  the  champagne  and  filled  out  a  foaming 
goblet,  nearly  one-third  of  the  whole  bottle,  adding— 

"  I  think,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  there's  nothing  like  showing  them  that 
we  are  just  as  cool  and  unconcerned  as  themselves." 

If  I  might  judge  from  the  looks  of  the  party,  a  happier  mode  of 
convincing  them  of  our  "  free-and-easy  "  feelings  could  not  possibly 
have  been  discovered.  From  any  mortification  this  proceeding  might 
have  caused  me,  I  was  speedily  relieved  by  Treflmion  calling 
O'Leary  to  one  side,  while  he  explained  to  him  that  he  must  nom- 
inally act  as  second  on  the  ground,  as  Trevanion,  being  a  resident  in 
Paris,  might  become  liable  to  a  prosecution,  should  anything  serious 
arise,  while  O'Leary,  as  a  mere  passer  through,  could  cross  the 
frontier  into  Germany,  and  avoid  all  trouble. 

O'Leary  at  once  acceded— perhaps  the  more  readily  because  he  ex- 
pected to  be  allowed  to  return  to  his  breakfast— but  hi  this  he  soon 
found  himself  mistaken,  for  the  whole  party  now  rose,  and  preceded 
by  the  baron,  followed  the  course  of  the  little  stream. 

After  about  five  minutes'  walking,  we  found  ourselves  at  the  out- 
let of  the  glen,  which  was  formed  by  a  large  stone  quarry,  making  a 
species  of  amphitheater,  with  lofty  walls  of  rugged  granite,  rising 
thirty  or  forty  feet  on  either  side  of  us.  The  ground  was  smooth 
and  level  as  a  boarded  floor,  and  certainly  to  amateurs  in  these  sort 
of  matters,  presented  a  most  perfect  spot  for  a  "  meeting." 

The  stranger  who  had  just  joined  us,  could  not  help  remarking 
our  looks  of  satisfaction  at  the  choice  of  .ground,  and  observed  to  me: 

"  This  is  not  the  first  affair  that  this  little  spot  has  witnessed,  and 
the  moulinet  of  St.  Cloud  is,  I  think,  the  very  best '  meet '  about 
Paris." 


242  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

Trevanion,  who,  during  these  few  minutes,  had  been  engaged  with 
Derigny,  now  drew  me  aside. 

"  Well,  Lorrequer,  have  you  any  recollection  now  of  having  seen 
your  opponent  before?  or  can  you  make  a  guess  at  the  source  of  all 
this?" 

*'  Never  till  this  instant,"  said  I,  "  have  I  beheld  him,  "as  I  looked 
toward  the  tall,  stoutly-built  figure  of  my  adversary,  who  was  very 
leisurely  detaching  a  cordon  from  his  tightly-fitting  frock,  doubtless 
to  prevent  its  attracting  my  aim. 

"  Well,  never  mind,  I  shall  manage  everything  properly.  What 
can  you  do  with  the  small  sword,  for  they  have  rapiers  at  the  mill?" 

"  frothing  whatever;  I  have  not  fenced  since  I  was  a  boy." 

"  N'importe,  then  we'll  fight  at  a  barriere.  I  knovr  they're  not 
prepared  for  that  from  Englishmen,  so  just  step  on  one  side  now, 
and  leave  me  to  talk  it  over." 

As  the  limited  nature  of  the  ground  did  not  permit  me  to  retire  to 
a  distance,  I  became  involuntarily  aware  of  a  dialogue,  which  even 
the  seriousness  of  the  moment  could  scarcely  keep  me  from  laughing 
at  outright. 

It  was  necessary,  for  the  sake  of  avoiding  any  possible  legal  diffi- 
culty in  the  result,  that  O'Leary  should  give  his  assent  to  every 
step  of  the  arrangement;  and  being  totally  ignorant  of  French, 
Trevanion  had  not  only  to  translate  for  him,  but  also  to  render  in 
reply  O'Leary 's  own  comments  or  objections  to  the  propositions  of 
the  others. 

"  Then  it  is  agreed,  we  fight  at  a  barriere  ?"  said  Captain  Derigny. 

"  What's  that,  Trevanion?" 

"  We  have  agreed  to  place  them  at  a  barriere,"  replied  Trevanion. 

"That's  strange,"  muttered  O'Leary  to  himself,  who,  knowing 
that  the  word  meant  a  "  turnpike,"  never  supposed  it  had  any  other 
signification. 

"  Vingt  quatre  pas,  n'est  pas?"  said  Derigny. 

"  Too  far,"  interposed  Trevanion. 

"  What  does  he  say  now?"  asked  O'Leary. 

"  Twenty -four  paces  for  the  distance." 

"Twenty-four  of  my  teeth  he  means,"  said  O'Leary,  snapping 
his  fingers.  "  AVliat  does  he  think  of  the  length  of  Sackville  Street? 
Ask  him  that,  will  ye?" 

"  What  says  Monsieur?"  said  the  Frenchman. 

"  He  thinks  the  distance  much  too  great." 

"  He  may  be  mistaken,"  said  the  captain,  half  sneeringly.  "  My 
friend  is  '  de  la  premiere  force.'  " 

"  That  must  be  something  impudent  from  your  looks,  Mr.  Tre- 
vanion. Isn't  it  a  thousand  pities  I  can't  speak  French?" 

"  What  say  you,  then,  to  twelve  paces?  Fire  together,  and  two 
shots  each,  if  the  first  be  inconclusive,"  said  Trevanion. 

"  And  if  necessary  "  added  the  Frenchman,  carelessly,  "  con- 
clude with  these  " — touching  the  swords  with  his  foot,  as  he  spoke. 

"  The  choice  of  the  weapon  lies  with  us,  I  opine,"  replied  Tre- 
vanion. "  We  have  already  named  pistols,  and  by  them  we  shall 
decide  this  matter." 

It  was  at  length,  after  innumerable  objections,  agreed  upon  that 
we  shouM  be  placed  back  to  back,  and  at  a  word  given  each  walk 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  243 

forward  to  a  certain  distance  maikedout  by  a  stone,  where  we  were 
to  halt,  and  at  the  signal  "  Une,"  "  Deux,"  turn  round  and  fire. 

This,  which  is  essentially  a  French  invention  in  dueling,  was  per- 
fectly new  to  me,  but  by  no  means  so  to  Trevanion,  who  was  fully 
aware  of  the  immense  consequence  of  not  giving  even  a  momentary 
opportunity  for  aim  to  my  antagonist;  and  in  this  mode  of  firing, 
the  most  practiced  and  deadly  shot  is  liable  to  err,  particularly  if  the 
signal  be  given  quickty. 

jVhile  Trevanion  and  the  captain  were  measuring  out  the  ground, 
a  little  circumstance  which  was  enacted  near  .me  was  certainly  not 
eyer  calculated  to  strengthen  my  nerve.  The  stranger  who  had  led 
us  to  the  ground  had  begun  to  examine  the  pistols,  and  finding  that 
one  of  them  was  loaded,  turned  toward  my  adversary,  saying, 
"  D'Haulpenne,  you  have  forgotten  to  draw  the  charge.  Come,  let 
us  see  what  vein  you  are  in."  At  the  same  time,  drawing  off  his 
large  cavalry  glove,  he  handed  the  pistol  to  his  friend. 

"  A  double  Napoleon  you  don't  hit  the  thumb." 

"  Done,"  said  the  other,  adjusting  the  weapon  in  his  hand. 

The  action  was  scarcely  performed,  when  the  bettor  flung  the 
glove  into  the  air  with  all  his  force.  My  opponent  raised  his  pistol, 
waited  for  an  instant,  till  the  glove,  having  attained  its  greatest 
height,  turned  to  fall  again.  Then  click  went  the  trigger — the  glove 
turned  round  and  round  half-a-dozen  times,  and  fell  about  twenty 
yards  off,  and  the  thumb  was  found  cut  clearly  off  at  the  juncture 
with  the  hand. 

This,  which  did  not  occupy  half  as  long  as  I  have  spent  in  re- 
counting it,  was  certainly  a  pleasant  introduction  to  standing  at 
fifteen  yards  from  the  principal  actor,  and  I  should  doubtless  have 
felt  it  in  all  its  force  had  not  my  attention  been  drawn  off  by  the 
ludicrous  expression  of  grief  in  O'L^ary's  countenance,  who  evi- 
dently regarded  me  as  already  defunct. 

"Now,  Lorrequer,  we 'are  ready,"  said  Trevanion,~*coming  for- 
ward; and  then,  lowering  his  voice,  added,  "  All  is  in  your  favor;  I 
have  won  the  '  word,'  which  I  shall  give  the  moment  you  halt.  So 
turn  and  fire  at  once :  be  sure  not  to  go  too  far  round  in  the  turn, 
that  is  the  invariable  error  in  this  mode  of  firing,  only  no  hurry:  be 
calm." 

"Now,  messieurs,"  said  Derigny,  as  he  approached  with  his 
friend  leaning  upon  his  arm,  and  placed  him  in  the  spot  allotted 
him.  Trevanion  then  took  rny  arm,  and  placed  me  back  to  back  to 
my  antagonist.  As  I  took  up  my  ground,  it  so  chanced  that  my  ad- 
versary's spur  slightly  grazed  me,  upon  which  he  immediately 
turned  round,  and,  with  the  most  engaging  smile,  begged  a  "  thou- 
sand pardons,"  and  hoped  I  was  not  hurt. 

O'Leary,  who  saw  the  incident,  and  guessed  the  action  aright, 
called  out : 

"  Oh,  the  cold-blooded  villain;  the  devil  a  chance  for  you,  Mr. 
Lorrequer." 

"Messieurs,  your  pistols,"  said  Le  Capitaine  la  Garde,  who,  as 
he  handed  the  weapons,  and  repeated  once  more  the  conditions  of 
the  combat,  gave  the  word  to  march. 

I  now  walked  slowly  forward  to  the  place  marked  out  by  the 
stone;  but  it  seemed  that  I  must  have  been  in  advance  of  my  oppo- 


244  HARRY    LORREQUEK. 

nent,  for  I  remember  some  seconds  elapsed  before  Trevanion 
coughed  slightly,  and  then,  with  a  clear  full  voice,  called  out 
"  Une,"  "  Deux."  I  had  scarcely  turned  myself  half  round,  when 
my  right  arm  was  suddenly  lifted  up,  as  if  by  a  galvanic  shock.  My 
pistol  jerked  upward,  and  exploded  the  same  moment,  and  then 
dropped  powerless  from  my  hand,  which  I  now  felt  was  covered 
with  warm  blood  from  a  wound  near  the  elbow.  From  the  acute 
but  momentary  pang  this  gave  me,  my  attention  was  soon  called  off; 
for  scarcely  had  my  arm  been  struck,  when  a  loud  chattering  noise 
to  my  left  induced  me  to  turn,  and  then,  to  my  astonishment,  I  saw 
my  friend  O'Leary  about  twelve  feet  from  the  ground,  hanging  on 
by  some  ash  twigs  that  grew  from  the  clefts  of  the  granite.  Frag- 
ments of  broken  rock  were  falling  around  him,  and  his  own  position 
momentarily  threatened  a  downfall.  He  was  screaming  with  all  his 
might;  but  what  he  said  was  entirely  lost  in  the  shouts  of  laughter 
of  Trevanion  and  the  Frenchman,  who  could  scarcely  stand  with  the 
immoderate  exuberance  of  their  mirth. 

I  had  not  time  to  run  to  his  aid,  which,  although  wounded,  I 
should  have  done,  when  the  branch  he  clung  to,  slowly  yielded  with 
his  weight,  and  the  round  plump  figure  of  my  poor  friend  rolled 
over  the  little  cleft  of  rock,  and,  after  a  few  faint  struggles,  came 
tumbling  heavity  down,  and  at  last  lay  peaceably  in  the  deep  heather 
at  the  bottom,  his  cries  the  whole  time  being  loud  enough  to  rise 
even  above  the  vociferous  laughter  of  the  others. 

I  now  ran  forward,  as  did  Trevanion,  when  O'Leary,  turning  his 
eyes  toward  me,  said  in  the  most  piteous  manner: 

' '  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  forgive  vou,  here  is  my  hand,  bad  luck  to  their 
French  way  of  fighting,  that  s  all;  it's  only  good  for  killing  one's 
friend.  I  thought  I  was  safe  up  there,  come  what  might. " 

"My  dear  O'Leary,"  said  I,  in  an  agony  which  prevented  my 
minding  the  laughing  faces  around  me,  "surely  you  don't  mean  to 
say  that  I  have  wounded  you  ?" 

"  No,  dear,  not  wounded,  only  killed  me  outright,  through  the 
brain  it  must  be,  from  the  torture  I'm  suffering. " 

The  shout  with  which  this  speech  was  received  sufficiently  aroused 
me;  while  Trevanion,  with  a  voice  nearly  choked  with  laughter, 
said: 

"Why,  Lorrequer,  did  you  not  see  that  your  pistol,  on  being 
struck,  threw  your  ball  high  up  on  the  quarry?  Fortunately,  how- 
ever, about  a  foot  and  a  half  above  Mr.  O'Leary 's  head,  whose 
most  serious  wounds  are  his  scratched  hands  and  bruised  bones  from 
his  tumble." 

This  explanation,  which  was  perfectly  satisfactory  to  me,  was  by 
no  means  so  consoling  to  poor  O'Leary,  who  lay  quite  unconscious 
to  all  around,  moaning  in  the  most  melancholy  manner.  Some  of 
the  blood  which  continued  to  flow  fast  from  my  wound,  having 
dropped  upon  his  face,  aroused  him  a  little — but  only  to  increase  his 
lamentation  for  his  own  destiny,  which  he  believed  was  fast  accom- 
plishing. 

'•  Through  the  skull,  clean  through  the  skull,  and  preserving  my 
senses  to  the  last!  Mr.  Lorrequer,  stoop  down — it  is  a  dying  man 
asks  you — don't  refuse  me  a  last  request.  There's  neither  luck  nor 
g-ace,  honor  nor  glory  in  such  a  way  of  lighting,  so  just  promise  me 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  245 

you'll  shoot  that  grinning  baboon  there,  when  he's  going  off  the 
ground,  since  it's  the  fashion  to  fire  at  a  man  with  his  back  to  you. 
Bring  him  down,  and  I'll  die  easy." 

And  with  these  words  he  closed  his  eyes,  and  straightened  out  his 
legs — stretched  his  arm  at  either  side,  and  arranged  himself  as  much 
corpse  fashion  as  the  circumstances  of  the  ground  would  permit — 
while  I  now  freely  participated  in  the  mirth  of  the  others,  which, 
loud  and  boisterous  as  it  was,  never  reached  the  ears  of  O'Leary. 

My  arm  had  now  become  so  painful,  that  I  was  obliged  to  ask 
Trevanion  to  assist  me  in  getting  off  my  coat.  The  surprise  of  the 
Frenchmen  on  learning  that  I  was  wounded  was  very  considerable, 
O'Leary 's  catastrophe  having  exclusively  engaged  all  attention.  My 
arm  was  now  examined,  when  it  was  discovered  that  the  ball  had 
passed  through  from  one  side  to  the  other,  without  apparently  touch- 
ing the  bone;  the  bullet  and  the  portion  of  my  coat  carried  in 
by  it  both  lay  in  my  sleeve.  The  only  serious  consequence  to  be  ap- 
prehended was  the  wound  of  the  blood-vessel,  which  continued  to 
pour  forth  blood  unceasingly,  and  I  was  just  surgeon  enough  to 
guess  that  an  artery  had  been  cut. 

Trevanion  bound  his  handkerchief  tightly  across  the  wound,  and 
assisted  me  to  the  high-road,  which,  so  sudden  was  the  loss  of  blood, 
I  reached  with  difficulty.  During  all  these  proceedings  nothing 
could  be  possibly  more  kind  and  considerate  than  the  conduct  of  our 
opponents.  All  the  farouche  and  swaggering  air  which  they  had 
deemed  "  de  rigueur  "  before,  at  once  fled,  and  in  its  place  we 
found  the  most  gentlemanlike  attention  and  true  politeness. 

As  soon  as  I  was  enabled  to  speak  upon  the  matter,  I  begged  Tre- 
vanion to  look  to  poor  O'Leary,  who  still  lay  upon  the  ground  in  a 
state  of  perfect  unconsciousness.  Captain  Derigny,  on  hearing  my 
wish,  at  once  returned  to  the  quarry,  and,  with  the  greatest  diffi- 
culty, persuaded  my  friend  to  rise  and  endeavor  to  walk,  which  at 
last  he  did  attempt,  calling  him  to  bear  witness  that,  it  perhaps  was 
the  only  case  on  record,  where  a  man  with  a  bullet  in  his  brain  hai 
made  such  an  exertion. 

With  a  view  to  my  comfort  and  quiet,  they  put  him  into  the  cab 
of  Le  Baron ;  and,  having  undertaken  to  send  Dupuytrien  to  me  im- 
mediately on  my  reaching  Paris,  took  their  leave,  and  Trevanion  and 
I  set  out  homeward. 

Not  all  my  exhaustion  and  debility,  nor  even  the  acute  pain  I  was 
suffering,  could  prevent  my  laughing  at  O'Leary 's  adventure;  and  it 
required  all  Trevanion's  prudence  to  prevent  my  indulging  too  far 
in  my  recollection  of  it. 

When  I  reached  Meurice's,  I  found  Dupuytrien  in  waiting,  who 
Immediately  pronounced  the  main  artery  of  the  limb  as  wounded; 
and  almost  as  instantaneously  proceeded  to  pass  a  ligature  round  it. 
This  painful  business  being  concluded,  I  was  placed  upon  a  sofa, 
and  being  plentifully  supplied  with  lemonade,  and  enjoined  to  keep 
quiet,  left  to  my  own  meditations,  such  as  they  were,  till  evening, 
Trevanion  having  taken  upon  him  to  apologize  for  our  absence  at 
Mrs.  Bingham's  dqeuner,  and  O'Leary  being  fast  asleep  in  his  own 
apartments. 


246  HARKT    LOKEEQUEB. 


CHAPTER  XXXVi. 

EABLY  RECOLLECTIONS  —  A  FIRST  LOVE. 

I  KNOW  of  no  sensations  so  very  nearly  alike  as  those  felt  on  awak- 
ing after  very  sudden  and  profuse  loss  of  blood,  and  those  resulting 
from  a  large  dose  of  opium.  The  dizziness,  the  confusion,  and  the 
abstraction  at  first  gradually  yielding,  as  the  senses  become  clearer, 
to  a  vague  and  indistinct  consciousness  ;  then  the  strange  mistiness, 
in  which  fact  and  fiction  are  wrapped  up  —  the  confounding  of  per- 
sons, and  places,  and  times,  not  so  as  to  embarrass  and  annoy  —  for 
the  very  debility  you  feel  subdues  all  irritation  —  but  rather  to  present 
a  panoramic  picture  of  odd  and  incongruous  events  more  pleasing 
than  otherwise. 

Of  the  circumstances  by  which  I  was  thus  brought  to  a  sick  couch. 
I  had  not  even  the  most  vague  recollection  —  the  faces  and  the  dress 
of  all  those  I  had  lately  seen  were  vividly  before  me;  but  how,  and 
for  what  purpose,  I  knew  not.  Something  in  their  kindness  and 
attention  had  left  an  agreeable  impression  upon  my  mind,  and  with- 
out being  able,  or  even  attempting  to  trace  it,  I  felt  happy  in  the 
thought.  While  thus  the  "  hour  before  "  was  dim  and  indistinct, 
the  events  of  years  past  were  vividly  and  brightly  pictured  before 
me,  and  strange,  too,  the  more  remote  the  period,  the  more  did  it 
seem  palpable  and  present  to  my  imagination.  For  so  it  is,  there  is 
in  memory  a  species  of  mental  long-sightedness,  which,  though  blind 
to  the  object  close  beside  you,  can  reach  the  blue  mountains  and  the 
starrv  skies,  which  lie  full  many  a  league  away.  Is  this  a  malady? 
or  is  it  rather  a  providential  gift  to  alleviate  the  tedious  hours  of  the 
sick-bed,  and  cheer  the  lonely  sufferer,  whose  thoughts  are  his  only 


My  school-boy  days,  in  all  their  holiday  excitement  ;  the  bank  where 
I  had  culled  the  earliest  cowslips  of  the  year;  the  clear  but  rapid 
stream,  where  days  lorn  I  have  watched  the  speckled  trout,  as  they 
swam  peacefully  beneath,  or  shook  their  bright  fins  in  the  gay  sun- 
shine; the  gorgeous  dragon-fly  that  played  above  the  water,  and 
dipped  his  bright  wings  in  its  ripple—  they  were  all  before  me.  And 
then  came  the  thought  of  school  itself,  with  its  little  world  of  boyish 
cares  and  emulations;  the  early  imbibed  passion  for  success;  the 
ardent  longing  for  superiority;  the  high  and  swelling  feeling  of  the 
heart,  as  home  drew  near,  to  think  that  I  had  gained  the  wished-for 
prize  —  the  object  of  many  an  hour's  toil—  the  thought  of  many  a 
long  night's  dream;  my  father's  smile;  my  mother's  kiss!  Oh! 
what  a  very  world  of  tender  meniory  that  one  thought  suggests  ;  for 
•what  are  all  our  later  successes  in  life—  how  bright  soever  our  fortune 
be  —  compared  with  the  early  triumphs  of  our  infancy?  Where, 
among  the  jealous  rivalry  of  some,  the  cold  and  half-  wrung  praise 
of  others,  the  selfish  and  unsympathizing  regard  of  all,  shall  we  find 
anything  to  repay  us  for  the  swelling  ecstasy  of  our  young  hearts, 
as  those  who  have  cradled  and  loved  u>  grow  proud  in  our  successes? 
For  myself,  a  life  that  has  fail".!  to  every  prestige  of  those  that 


HARRY    LORREQtJER.  24t 

prophesied  favorably — years  that  have  followed  on  each  other  only  to 
blight  the  promise  that  kind  and  well-wishing  friends  foretold — leave 
but  little  to  dwell  upon,  that  can  be  reckoned  to  success.  And  yet, 
some  moments  1  have  had,  which  half  seemed  to  realize  my  early 
dream  of  ambition,  and  rouse  my  spirit  within  me;  but  what  were 
they  all  compared  to  nay  boyish  glories  ?  what  the  passing  excite- 
ment one's  own  heart  inspires  in  the  londy  and  selfish  solitude,  when 
compared  with  that  little  world  of  sympathy  and  love  our  early  home 
teemed  with,  as  proud  in  some  trifling  distinction,  we  fell  into  a 
mother's  arms,  and  heard  our  father's  "  God  bless  you,  boy  "?  No, 
no;  the  world  has  no  requital  for  this.  It  is  like  the  bright  day- 
spring,  which,  as  its  glories  gild  the  east,  display  before  us  a  whole 
world  of  beauty  and  promise — blighted  hopes  have  not  withered, 
false  friendships  have  not  scathed,  cold,  selfish  interest  has  not  yet 
hardened  our  hearts,  or  dried  up  our  affections,  and  we  are  indeed 
happy;  but  equally  like  the  burst  of  morning  is  it  fleeting  and  short- 
lived ;  and  equally  so,  too,  does  it  pass  away,  never,  never  to  return. 

From  thoughts  like  these  my  mind  wandered  on  to  more  advanced 
years,  when,  emerging  from  my  boyhood,  I  half  believed  myself  a 
man,  and  was  fully  convinced  I  was  in  love. 

Perhaps,  after  all,  for  the  time  it  lasted — ten  days,  I  think — it  was 
the  most  sincere  passion  I  ever  felt.  I  had  been  spending  some  weeks 
at  a  small  watering-place  in  Wales,  with  some  relatives  of  my  mother. 
There  were,  as  might  be  supposed,  but  few  "  distractions  "  in  such  a 
place,  save  the  scenery,  and  an  occasional  day's  fishing  in  the  little 
river  of  Dolgelly,  which  ran  near.  In  all  these  little  rambles  which 
the  younger  portion  of  the  family  made  together,  frequent  mention 
was  ever  being  made  of  a  visit  from  a  very  dear  cousin,  and  to  which 
all  looked  forward  with  the  greatest  eagerness — the  elder  ones  of  the 
party  with  a  certain  air  of  quiet  pleasure,  as  though  they  knew  more 
than  they  said,  and  the  younger  with  all  the  childish  exuberance  of 
youthful  delight.  Clara  Mourtray  seemed  to  be,  from  all  I  was 
hourly  hearing,  the  very  paragon  and  pattern  of  everything.  If  any 
one  was  praised  for  beauty,  Clara  Avas  immediately  pronounced  much 
prettier — did  any  one  sing,  Clara's  voice  and  taste  were  far  superior. 
In  our  homeward  walk,  should  the  shadows  of  the  dark  hill  fall  with 
a  picturesque  effect  upon  the  blue  lake,  some  one  was  sure  to  say: 
"  Oh!  how  Clara  would  like  to  sketch  that."  In  short,  there  was 
no  charm  or  accomplishment  ever  the  gift  of  woman  that  Clara  did 
not  possess;  or,  what  amounted  pretty  much  to  the  same  thing,  that 
my  relatives  did  not  implicitly  give  her  credit  for.  The  constantly- 
recurring  praises  of  the  same  person  affect  us  always  differently 
as  we  go  on  in  life.  In  youth,  the  prevailing  sentiment  is  an  ardent, 
desire  to  see  the  prodigy  of  whom  we  have  heard  so  much — in  after 
vears,  heartily  to  detest  what  hourly  hurts  our  self-love  by  compari- 
sons. We  would  take  any  steps  to  avoid  meeting  what  we  have  in- 
wardly decreed  to  be  a  "bore."  The  former  was  my  course,  and 
though  my  curiosity  was  certainly  very  great,  I  had  made  up  my 
mind  to  as  great  a  disappointment,  and  half  wished  for  the  loug- 
looked-for  arrival  as  a  means  of  criticising  what  they  could  see  no 
fault  in. 

The  wished-for  evening  at  length  came,  and  we  all  set  out  upon  a 
walk  to  meet  the  carriage  which  was  to  bring  the  trien  aime  Clara 


248  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

among  us.  We  had  not  walked  above  a  mile  when  the  eager  eye  of 
the  foremost  detected  a  cloud  of  dust  upon  the  road  at  some  dis- 
tance; and,  after  a  few  minutes  more  four  posters  were  seen  coming 
along  at  a  tremendous  rate.  The  next  moment  she  was  making  the 
tour  of  about  a  dozen  uncles,  aunts,  cousins  and  cousines,  none  of 
whom,  it  appeared  to  me,  felt  any  peculiar  desire  to  surrender  the 
hearty  embrace  to  the  next  of  kin  in  succession.  At  last  she  came  to 
me,  when,  perhaps,  in  the  confusion  of  the  moment,  not  exactly  re 
membering  whether  or  not  she  had  seen  me  before,  she  stood  for  a 
moment  silent — a  deep  blush  mantling  her  lovely  cheek — masses  of 
waving  brown  hair  disordered  and  floating  upon  her  shoulders — her 
large  and  liquid  blue  eyes  beaming  upon  me.  One  look  was  enough. 
I  was  deeply — irretrievably  in  love. 

"  Our  cousin  Harry — Harry  Lorrequer— wild  Harry,  as  we  used  to 
call  him,  Clara,"  said  one  of  the  girls,  introducing  me. 

She  held  out  her  hand,  and  said  something  with  a  smile.  What, 
I  know  not — nor  can  I  tell  how  I  replied;  but  something  absurd  it 
must  have  been,  for  they  all  laughed  heartily,  and  the  worthy  papa 
himself  tapped  my  shoulder  jestingly,  adding: 

"  Never  mind,  Harry — you  will  do  better  one  day,  or  I  am  much 
mistaken  in  you." 

Whether  I  was  conscious  that  I  had  behaved  foolishly  or  not,  lean- 
not  well  say;  but  the  whole  of  that  night  I  thought  over  plans  in- 
numerable how  I  should  succeed  in  putting  myself  forward  before 
"  Cousin  Clara,"  and  vindicating  myself  against  any  imputation  of 
school-boy  mannerism  that  my  first  appearance  might  have  caused. 

The  next  day  we  remained  at  home.  Clara  was  too  much  fatigued 
to  walk  out,  and  none  of  us  would  leave  her.  What  a  day  of  happi- 
ness that  was !  I  knew  something  of  music,  and  could  sing  a  second. 
Clara  was  delighted  at  this,  for  the  others  had  not  cultivated  singing 
much.  We  therefore  spent  the  whole  morning  in  this  way.  Then 
she  produced  her  sketch-book,  and  I  brought  out  mine,  and  we  had 
a  mutual  interchange  of  prisoners.  What  cutting  out  of  leaves  and 
detaching  of  rice  paper  landscapes!  Then  she  came  out  upon  the 
Ian  n  to  see  my  pony  leap,  and  promised  to  ride  him  the  following 
day.  She  patted  the  greyhounds,  and  said  Gypsy,  which  was  mine, 
was  the  prettiest.  In  a  word,  before  night  fell  Clara  had  won  my 
heart  in  its  every  fiber,  and  I  went  to  my  room  the  very  happiest  of 
mortals. 

I  need  not  chronicle  my  next  three  days — to  me  the  most  glorious 
"  troia  jours  "of  my  life.  Clara  had  evidently  singled  me  out  and 
preferred  me  to  all  the  rest.  It  was  beside  me  she  rode  and  upon  my 
arm  she  leaned  in  walking— and,  to  comble  me  with  delight  unutter- 
able I  overhead  her  say  to  ny  uncle,"  Oh,  I  dote  upon  poor  Harry! 
And  it  is  so  pleasant,  for  I'm  sure  Mortimer  will  be  so  jealous." 

"  And  who  is  Mortimer?"  thought  I;  "  he  is  a  new  character  in 

)f>  nififfl    nf  wlinrn  WP  liavp  sp^n  nnHiinrr  " 


dinner, 

_,  lashing-look- 
ing, soldier- like  fellow,  of  about  Ihirly-five.with  a  heavy  mustache  and 
a  bronzed  cheek— rather  grave  in  his  manner,  but  still  perfectly  good- 
natured,  and  when  he  smiled  showing  a  most  handsome  set  of  regular 
teeth.  Clara  seemed  less  pleased  (I  thought)  at  his  coming  than  the 


HARKY    LORREQUER.  249 

others,  and  took  pleasure  in  tormenting  him  by  a  thousand  pettish 
and  frivolous  ways,  which  I  was  sorry  for,  as  I  thought  he  did  not 
like  it;  and  used  to  look  half  chidingly  at  her  from  tune  to  time,  but 
without  any  effect,  for  she  just  went  on  as  before,  and  generally 
ended  by  taking  my  arm  and  saying,  "  Come  away,  Harry;  you  al- 
ways are  kind  and  never  look  sulky.  I  can  agree  with  you."  These 
were  delightful  words  for  me  to  listen  to,  but  I  could  not  hear  them 
without  feeling  for  him,  who  evidently  was  pained  by  Clara's  avowed 
preference  for  me;  and  whose  years — for  I  thought  thirty- five  at 
that  time  a  little  verging  upon  the  patriarchal — entitled  him  to  more 
respect. 

"Well,"  thought  I,  one  evening,  as  this  game  had  been  carried 
rather  further  than  usual,  "  I  hope  she  is  content  now,  for  certainly 
Mortimer  is  jealous;"  and  the  result  proved  it,  for  the  whole  of  the 
following  day  he  absented  himself,  and  never  came  back  till  late  in 
the  evening.  He  had  been,  I  found,  from  a  chance  observation  I 
overheard,  at  the  bishop's  palace,  and  the  bishop  himself,  I  learned, 
was  to  breakfast  with  us  in  the  morning. 

"  Harry,  I  have  a  commission  for  you,"  said  Clara.  "  You  must 
get  up  very  early  to-morrow,  and  climb  the  Cader  mountain,  and 
bring  me  a  grand  bouquet  of  the  blue  and  purple  heath  that  I  liked 
so  much  the  last  time  I  was  there.  Mind,  very  early,  for  I  intend  to 
surprise  the  bishop  to-morrow  with  my  taste  in  a  nosegay." 

The  sun  had  scarcely  risen  as  I  sprang  from  my  bed,  and  started 
upon  my  errand.  Oh!  the  glorious  beauty  of  that  morning's  walk. 
As  I  climbed  the  mountain,  the  deep  mists  lay  upon  all  around,  and 
except  the  path  I  was  treading,  noihing  was  visible;  but  before  I 
reached  the  top,  the  heavy  masses  of  vapor  were  yielding  to  the  influ- 
ence of  the  sun ;  and  as  they  rolled  from  the  valleys  up  the  mount- 
ain-sides, were  every  instant  opening  new  glens  and  ravines  beneath 
me — bright  in  all  their  verdure,  and  speckled  with  sheep,  whose 
tinkling  bells  reached  me  even  where  I  stood.  / 

I  counted  about  twenty  lakes  at  different  levels,  below  me;  some 
brilliant,  and  shining  like  polished  mirrors ;  others  not  less  beautiful, 
dark  and  solemn  with  some  mighty  mountain  shadow.  As  I  looked 
landward,  the  mountains  reared  their  huge  crests,  one  above  the 
other,  to  the  furthest  any  eye  could  reach.  Toward  the  opposite  side, 
the  calm  and  tranquil  sea  lay  beneath  me,  bathed  in  the  yellow  gold 
of  a  rising  sun;  a  few  ships  were  peacefully  lying  at  anchor  in  the 
bay;  and  the  only  thing  in  motion  was  a  row-boat,  the  heavy 
monotonous  stroke  of  whose  oars  rose  in  the  stillness  of  the  morning 
air.  Not  a  single  habitation  of  man  could  I  desciy,  nor  any  vestige 
of  a  human  being,  except  that  mass  of  something  upon  the  rock  far 
down  beneath  be  one,  and  I  think  it  is,  for  I  see  the  sheep-dog  ever 
returning  again  and  again  to  the  same  spot. 

My  bouquet  was  gathered ;  the  gentian  of  the  Alps,  which  is  found 
here,  also  contributing  its  evidence  to  show  where  I  had  been  to  seek 
it,  and  I  turned  home. 

The  family  were  at  breakfast  as  I  entered ;  at  least  so  the  servants 
said,  for  1  only  remembered  then  that  the  bishop  was  our  guest,  and 
that  I  could  not  present  myself  without  some  slight  attention  to  my 
dress,  J  hastened  to  my  room,  and  scarcely  had  I  finished,  when. 


250  HARRY    LORREQTJER. 

one  of  my  cousins,  a  little  girl  of  eight  years,  came  to  my  door  and 
said: 

"  Harry,  come  down;  Clara  wants  you." 

I  rushed  down  stairs,  and  as  I  entered  the  breakfast-parlor,  stood 
still  with  surprise.  The  ladies  were  all  dressed  in  white,  and  even 
my  little  cousin  wore  a  gala  costume  that  amazed  me. 

"My  bouquet,  Harry;  I  hope  you  have  not  forgotten  it,"  said 
Clara,  as  I  approached. 

I  presented  it  at  once,  when  she  gayly  and  coquettishly  held  out 
her  hand  for  me  to  kiss.  This  I  did,  my  blood  rushing  to  my  face 
and  temples  the  while,  and  almost  depriving  me  of  consciousness. 

""Well,  Clara,  I  am  surprised  at  you,"  said  Mortimer.  "How 
can  you  treat  the  poor  boy  so?" 

I  grew  deadly  pale  at  these  words,  and,  turning  round,  looked  at 
the  speaker  full  in  the  face.  Poor  fellow,  thought  I,  he  is  jealous, 
and  I  am  really  grieved  for  him;  and  turned  again  to  Clara. 

"  Here  it  is — Oh!  how  handsome,  papa,"  said  one  of  the  younger 
children,  running  eagerly  to  the  window,  as  a  very  pretty  open  car- 
riage with  four  horses  drew  up  before  the  house. 

The  bishop  has  taste,"  I  murmured  to  myself,  scarcely  deigning 
to  give  a  second  look  at  the  equipage. 

Clara  now  left  the  room,  but  speedily  returned — her  dress  changed, 
and  shawled  as  if  for  a  walk.  What  could  all  this  mean? — and  the 
whispering,  too,  what  is  all  that? — and  why  are  they  all  so  sad?— 
Clara  has  been  weeping. 

"  God  bless  you,  my  child— good-by, "  said  my  aunt,  as  she  folded 
her  in  her  arms  for  the  third  time. 

"  Good-by,  good-by,"  I  heard  on  every«side.  At  length,  approach- 
ing me,  Clara  took  my  hand  and  said : 

"  My  poor  Harry,  so  we  are  going  to  part.      I  am  going  to  Italy. " 

"  To  Italy,  Clara?  Oh!  no— say  no.  Italy!  I  shall  never  see  you 
again." 

"  Won't  you  wear  this  ring  for  me,  Harry?  It  is  an  old  favorite 
of  yours — and  when  we  meet  again ' ' 

"  Oh!  dearest  Clara,"  I  said,  "  do  not  speak  thus." 

"Good-by,  my  poor  boy,  good-by,"  said  Clara,  hurriedly;  and, 
rushing  out  of  the  room,  she  was  lifted  by  Mortimer  into  the  car- 
riage, who  immediately  jumping  in  after  her,  the  whip  cracked,  the 
horses  clattered,  and  all  was  out  of  sight  in  a  second. 

"  Why  is  she  gone  with  him?"  said  I,  reproachfully,  turning  to- 
ward my  aunt. 

"  Why,  my  dear,  a  very  sufficient  reason.  She  was  married  this 
morning." 

This  was  my  first  love. 

CHAPTER  XXXVII. 

WISE  RESOLVES. 

MUSING  over  this  boyish  adventure,  I  fell  into  a  deep  slumber,  and 
on  awakening  it  took  me  some  minutes  before  1  could  recall  my 
senses  sufficiently  to  know  where  1  was.  The  whole  face  of  things 
in  my  room  was  completely  changed.  Flowers  had  been  put  in  the 
china  vases  upon  the  tables — two  handsome  lamps,  shaded  with 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  251 

gauzes,  stood  upou  the  consoles — illustrated  books,  prints,  and  cari- 
catures, were  scattered  about.  A  piano  forte  had  also,  by  some 
witchcraft,  insinuated  itself  into  a  recess  near  the  sofa — a  handsome 
little  tea-service,  of  old  Dresden  china,  graced  a  small  marquetry 
table — and  a  little  picquet  table  stood  most  invitingly  beside  the  lire. 
I  had  scarcely  time  to  turn  my  eyes  from  one  to  the  other  of  these 
new  occupants,  when  I  heard  the  handle  of  my  door  gently  turn,  as 
if  by  some  cautious  hand,  and  immediately  closed  my  eyes  and 
feigned  sleep.  Through  my  half-shut  lids  I  perceived  the  door 
opened.  After  a  pause  of  about  a  second  the  skirt  of  a  white  mus- 
lin dress  appeared — then  a  pretty  foot  stole  a  little  further — and  at 
last  the  slight  and  graceful  figure  of  Emily  Bingham  advanced 
noiselessly  into  the  room.  Fear  had  rendered  her  deadly  pale,  but 
the  effect  of  her  rich  brown  hair,  braided  plainly  on  either  side  of 
her  cheek,  suited  so  well  the  character  of  her  features,  I  thought  her 
far  handsomer  than  ever.  She  came  forward  toward  the  table,  and 
I  now  could  perceive  that  she  had  something  in  her  hand  resembling 
a  letter.  This  she  placed  near  my  hand — so  near  as  almost  to  touch 
it.  She  leaned  over  me — I  felt  her  breath  upon  my  brow,  but  never 
moved.  At  this  instant  a  tress  of  her  hair,  becoming  unfastened,  fell 
over  upon  my  face.  She  started — the  motion  threw  me  off  my  guard, 
and  I  looked  up.  She  gave  a  faint,  scarce  audible  shriek,  and  sank 
into  the  chair  beside  me.  Recovering,  however,  upon  the  instant, 
she  grasped  the  letter  she  had  just  laid  down,  and  having  crushed  it 
between  her  fingers,  threw  it  into  the  fire.  This  done — as  if  the 
effort  had  been  too  much  for  her  strength — she  again  fell  back 
upon  her  seat,  and  looked  so  pale  I  almost  thought  she  had  fainted. 

"  Before  I  had  time  to  speak  she  rose  once  more;  and  now  her  face 
was  bathed  in  blushes,  her  eyes  swam  with  rising  tears,  and  her  lips 
trembled  with  emotion  as  she  spoke: 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  what  will  you — what  can  you  think  of  this9 

If  you  but  knew ";  and  here  she  faltered  and  again  grew  pale, 

while  I,  with  difficulty  rising  from  the  sofa,  took  her  hand,  and  led 
her  to  the  chair  beside  it. 

"  And  may  I  not  know?"  said  I;  "  may  I  not  know,  my  dear — " 
I  am  not  sure  I  did  not  say  dearest — "  Miss  Bingham,  when,  perhaps 
the  knowledge  might  maKe  me  the  happiest  of  mortals." 

This  was  a  pretty  plunge  as  a  sequel  to  my  late  resolutions.  She 
hid  her  face  between  her  hands,  and  sobbed  for  some  seconds. 

"  At  least,"  said  I,  "as  that  letter  was  destined  for  me  but  a  few 
moments  since,  I  trust  that  you  will  let  me  hear  its  contents." 

"  Oh  no — not  now — not  now,"  said  she,  entreatingly,  and,  rising 
at  the  same  time,  she  turned  to  leave  the  room.  I  still  held  her  hand, 
and  pressed  it  within  mine.  I  thought  she  returned  the  pressure.  I 
leaned  forward  to  catch  her  eye,  when  the  door  was  opened  hastily, 
and  a  most  extraordinary  figure  presented  itself. 

It  was  a  short,  fat  man,  with  a  pair  of  enormous  mustaches,  of  a 
fiery  red;  huge  bushy  whiskers  of  the  same  color;  a  blue  frock  cov- 
erea  with  braiding,  and  decorated  with  several  crosses  and  ribbons; 
tight  pantaloons  and  Hessian  boots,  with  long  brass  spurs.  He  held 
a  large  gold-headed  cane  in  his  hand,  and  looked  about  with  aij 
expression  of  very  equivocal  drollery  mingled  with  fear. 


252  HARRY    LORItEQTJER. 

"  May  I  ask  sir,"  said  I,  as  this  individual  closed  the  door  behind 
him,  "  may  I  ask  the  reason  for  this  intrusion?" 

"  Oh,  upon  my  conscience,  I'll  do — I'm  sure  to  pass  muster  now," 
said  the  well-known  voice  of  Mr.  O'Leary,  whose  pleasant  features 
began  to  dilate  amidst  the  forest  of  red  hair  he  was  disguised  in. 
"  But  I  see  you  are  engaged,"  said  he,  with  a  sly  look  at  Miss  Bing- 
harn,  whom  he  had  not  yet  recognized.  "  So  I  must  contrive  to 
hide  myself  elsewhere,  I  suppose." 

"It  is  Miss  Bingham,"  said  I,  "who  has  been  kind  enough  to 
come  here  with  her  maid,  to  bring  me  some  flowers.  Pray  present 
my  respectful  compliments  to  Mrs.  Bingham,  and  say  how  deeply  I 
feel  her  most  kind  attention." 

Emily  rose  at  the  instant,  and  recovering  her  self-possession  at 
once,  said: 

"  You  forget,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  it  is  a  secret  from  whom  the  flowers 
came ;  at  least  mamma  hoped  to  place  them  in  your  vases  without 
your  knowledge.  So  pray  don't  speak  of  it — and  I'm  sure  Mr. 
O'Leary  will  not  tell." 

If  Mr.  O'Leary  heard  one  word  of  this  artful  speech,  I  know  not, 
but  he  certainly  paid  no  attention  to  it,  nor  the  speaker,  who  left  the 
room  without  his  appearing  aware  of  it. 

"  Now  that  she  is  gone — for  which  heaven  be  praised,"  said  I  to 
myself;  "  let  me  see  what  this  fellow  can  mean." 

As  I  turned  from  the  door,  I  could  scarcely  avoid  laughing  aloud 
at  the  figure  before  me.  He  stood  opposite  a  large  mirror,  his  hat 
on  one  side  of  his  head,  one  arm  in  his  breast,  and  the  other  extend- 
ed, leaning  upon  his  stick ;  a  look  of  as  much  ferocity  as  such  feat- 
ures could  accomplish,  had  been  assumed,  and  his  whole  attitude 
was  a  kind  of  caricature  of  a  melodramatic  hero  in  a  German  drama. 

"  Why,  O'Leary,  what  is  all  this?" 

"Hush,  hush!"  said  he,  hi  a  terrified  whisper — "never  mention 
that  name  again  till  we  are  over  the  frontier." 

"  But,  man,  explain — what  do  you  mean?" 

"  Can't  you  guess?"  said  he,  dryly. 

"  Impossible,  unless  the  affair  at  the  saloon  has  induced  you  to 
take  this  disguise,  I  cannot  conceive  the  reason." 

"  Nothing  further  from  it,  my  dear  friend;  much  worse  than 
that  " 

"  Out  with  it,  then,  at  once." 

"  She's  come — she's  here — in  this  very  house — No.  29,  above  the 
entre  sol." 

"  Who  is  here,  in  No.  29,  above  the  entre  sol?" 

"  Who,  but  Mrs.  O'Leary  herself!  I  was  near  saying  bad  luck  to 
her." 

"  And  does  she  know  you  are  here?" 

"  That  if  what  I  can't  exactly  say,"  said  he,  "  but  she  has  had  the 
Livre  des  Voyageurs  brought  up  to  her  room,  and  has  been  making 
rather  unpleasant  inquiries  for  the  proprietor  of  certain  hieroglyph- 
ics beginning  with  O,  which  have  given  me  great  alarm ;  the  more, 
as  all  the  waiters  have  been  sent  for  in  turn,  and  subjected  to  long 
examination,  by  her.  So  I  have  lost  no  time,  but,  under  the  au- 
spices of  your  friend  Trevanion,  have  become  the  fascinating  figure 
you  find  me,  and  am  now  Comte  O'Lieuki,  a  Pole  of  noble  family, 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  253 

banished  by  the  Russian  government,  with  a  father  in  Siberia,  and 
all  that;  and!  hope,  by  the  end  of  the  week,  to  be  able  to  cheat  at 
ecarte,  and  deceive  the  very  police  itself." 

The  idea  of  O'Leary 's  assuming  such  a  metamorphosis  was  too 
absurd  not  to  throw  me  into  a  hearty  fit  of  laughing,  in  which  the 
worthy  emigre  indulged  also. 

"  But  why  not  leave  this  at  once,"  said  I,  "  if  you  are  so  much  in 
dread  of  a  recognition?" 

"  You  forget  the  trial,"  added  O'Leary.  "  I  must  be  here  on  the 
18th,  or  all  my  bail  is  forfeited." 

"  True — I  had  forgotten  that.    Well,  now,"  your  plans 

"  Simply  to  keep  very  quiet  here,  till  the  affair  of  the  tribunal  is 
over,  and  then  quit  France  at  once.  Meanwhile,  Trevanion  thinks 
that  we  may,  by  a  bold  stratagem,  send  Mrs.  O'Leary  off  on- a 
wrong  scent,  and  he  has  requested  Mrs.  Bingham  to  contrive  to  make 
her  acquaintance,  and  ask  her  to  tea  in  her  room,  Avhen  she  will  see 
me,  en  Polonais,  at  a  distance,  you  know — hear  something  of  my 
melancholy  destiny  from  Trevanion — and  leave  the  hotel  quite  sure 
she  has  no  claim  on  me.  Meanwhile,  some  others  of  the  party  are 
to  mention  incidentally  having  met  Mr.  O'Leary  somewhere,  or 
heard  of  his  decease,  or  aay  pleasant  little  incident  that  may  occur 
to  them." 

"  The  plan  is  excellent,"  said  1,  "  for  in  all  probability  she  may 
never  come  in  your  way  again,  if  sent  off  on  a  good  errand  this 
tune." 

"That's  what  I'm  thinking,"  said  O'Leary;  "  and  I  am  greatly 
disposed  to  let  her  hear  that  I'm  with  Belzoni  in  Egypt,  with  an  en- 
gagement to  spend  the  Christmas  with  the  Dey  of  Algiers.  That 
would  give  her  a  pretty  tour  for  the  remainder  of  the  year,  and 
show  her  the  pyramids.  But,  tell  me  fairly,  am  I  a  good  Pole?" 

"  Rather  short,"  said  I,  "  and  a  little  too  fat,  perhaps." 

' '  That  comes  from  the  dash  of  the  Tartar  blood,  nothing  mpre, 
and  my  mother  was  a  Fin,"  said  he:  "  she'll  never  ask  whether  Irom 
Carlow  or  the  Caucasus.  How  I  revel  in  the  thought,  that  I  may 
amoke  in  company  without  a  breach  of  the  unities.  But  I  must 
go;  there  is  a  gentleman  with  a  quinsy  in  No.  8,  that  gives  me  a 
lesson  in  Polish  this  morning.  So  good-by,  and  don't  forget  to  be 
well  enough  to-night,  for  you  must  be  present  at  my  debut." 

O'Leary  had  scarcely  gone  when  my  thoughts  reverted  to  Emily 
Bingham.  I  was  not  such  a  coxcomb  as  to  fancy  her  in  love  with 
me;  yet  certainly  there  was  something  in  the  affair  which  looked  not 
unlike  it;  and  though,  by  such  a  circumstance,  every  embarrassment 
which  pressed  upon  me  had  become  infinitely  greater,  I  could  not 
dissemble  from  myself  a  sense  of  pleasure  at  the  thought.  She  was 
really  a  very  pretty  girl,  and  improved  vastly  upon  acquaintance. 

"  Les  absens  out  toujours  tort ' '  is  the  truest  proverb  in  any  language, 
and  1  felt  it  in  its  fullest  force  when  Trevaniou  entered  my  room. 

"  Well,  Lorrequer,"  said  he,  "  your  time  is  certainly  not  likely  to 
hang  heavily  on  your  hands  in  Paris,  if  occupation  will  prevent  it, 
for  I  find  you  are  just  now  booked  for  a  new  scrape." 

"  What  can  you  mean?"  said  I,  starting  up." 

"  Why,  O'Leary,  who  has  been,  since  your  illness,  the  constant 
visitor  at  the  Binghams— dining  there  every  day,  and  spending  nig 


254  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

evenings— has  just,  told  me  that  the  mamma  is  only  waiting  for  the 
arrival  of  Sir  Guy  Lorrequer  in  Paris,  to  open  the  trenches  in  all  form; 
and  from  what  she  has  heard  of  Sir  Guy,  she  deems  it  most  likely  he 
will  give  her  every  aid  and  support  to  making  you  the  husband  of 
the  fair  Emily." 

"  And  with  good  reason,  too,"  said  I;  "  for  if  my  uncle  were  only 
given  to  understand  that  I  had  once  gone  far  in  my  attentions,  noth- 
ing would  induce  him  to  break  off  the  match.  He  was  crossed  in 
love  himself,  when  young,  and  has  made  a  score  of  people  miserable 
since,  hi  the  benevolent  idea  of  marrying  them  against  every 
obstacle." 

"  How  very  smart  you  have  become,"  said  Trevanion,  taking  a 
look  round  my  room,  and  surveying  in  turn  each  of  the  new  occu- 
pants. "  You  must  certainly  reckon  upon  seeing  your  fair  friend 
here,  or  all  this  propriete  is  sadly  wasted." 

This  was  the  time  to  explain  all  about  Miss  Bingham's  visit,  and 
I  did  so,  of  course  omitting  any  details  which  might  seem  to  me 
needless,  or  involving  myself  in  inconsistency. 

Trevanion  listened  patiently  to  the  end— was  silent  for  some 
moments — then  added : 

"  And  you  never  saw  the  letter?" 

"  Of  course  not.    It  was  burned  before  my  eyes. " 

"  I  think  the  affair  looks  very  serious,  Lorrequer.  You  may  have 
won  this  girl's  affections.  It  matters  little  whether  the  mamma  be  a 
hackneyed  match-maker,  or  the  cousin  a  bullying  duellist.  If  the 
girl  have  a  heart,  and  that  you  have  gained  it " 

"  Then  I  must  marry,  you  would  say." 

"  Exactly  so — without  the  prompting  of  your  worthy  uncle,  I  see 
no  other  course  open  to  you  without  dishonor.  My  advice,  there- 
fore, is,  ascertain — and  that  speedily — how  far  your  attentions  have 
been  attended  with  the  success  you  dread — and  then  decide  at  once. 
Are  you  able  to  get  as  far  as  Mr.  Bingham's  room  this  morning?  If 
so,  come  along.  I  shall  take  all  the /raw  of  la  ch ere  mamma  off  your 
hands,  while  you  talk  to  the  daughter,  and  half-an-hour's  courage 
and  resolution  will  do  it  all." 

Having  made  the  most  effective  toilet  my  means  would  permit,  my 
right  arm  in  a  sling,  and  my  step  trembling  from  weaknos,  1  sallied 
forth  with  Trevanion  to  make  love  with  as  many  fears  for  the  result 
as  the  most  bashful  admirer  ever  experienced,  when  pressing  his 
suit  upon  some  haughty  belle — but  for  a  far  different  reason. 


CHAPTER  XXXVIII. 

THE    PROPOSAL. 

ON  reaching  Mrs.  Bingham's  apartments,  we  found  that  she  had 
just  left  home  to  wait  upon  Mrs.  O'Leary,  and,  consequently,  that 
Miss  Bingham  was  alone.  Trevanion,  therefore,  having  wished  me 
a  safe  deliverance  through  my  trying  mission,  shook  my  hand 
warmly,  and  departed. 

I  stood  for  some  minutes  irresolutely,  with  my  hand  upon  the 
lock  of  the  door.  To  think  that  the  next  few  moments  may  decide 
the  fortune  of  one's  after  life,  is  a  sufficiently  anxious  thought,  but 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  255 

that  your  fate  may  be  so'decided  by  compelling  you  to  finish,  in  sor- 
row what  you  have  begun  in  folly,  is  still  more  insupportable. 
Such,  then,  was  my  condition.  I  had  resolved  within  myself,  if  the 
result  of  this  meeting  should  prove  that  I  had  Avon  Miss  Bingham's 
affections,  to  propose  for  her  at  once  in  all  form,  and  make  her  my 
wife.  If,  on  the  other  hand,  I  only  found  that  she  too  had  amused 
herself  with  a  little  passing  flirtation,  why,  then,  I  was  a  free  man. 
once  more:  but,  on  catechizing  myself  a  little  closer,  also,  one  some- 
what disposed  to  make  love  de  novo. 

With  the  speed  of  lightning  my  mind  ran  over  every  passage  of  our 
acquaintance  —  our  first  meeting  —  our  solitary  walks — our  daily, 
hourly  association — our  traveling  intimacy — the  adventure  at  Chan- 
traine ; — there  was,  it  is  true,  nothing  in  all  this  which  could  estab- 
lish the  fact  of  wooing,  but  everything  which  should  convince  an  old 
offender  like  myself  that  the  young  lady  was  "  en  prise,"  and  that  I 
myself — despite  my  really  strong  attacliment  elsewhere — was  not  en 
tirely  scatheless. 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  half  aloud,  as  I  once  more  reviewed  the  past,  "  it 
is  but  another  chapter  in  my  history,  in  keeping  with  all  the  rest — 
one  step  has  ever  led  me  to  a  second,  and  so  on  to  a  third.  What 
with  other  men  have  passed  for  mere  trifles,  have  ever  with  me  be- 
come serious  difficulties,  and  the  false  enthusiasm  with  which  I  ever 
follow  any  object  in  life,  blinds  me  for  the  time,  and,  mistaking  zeal 
for  inclination,  I  never  feel  how  my  heart  is  interested  in  success 
till  the  fever  of  pursuit  is  over." 

These  were  pleasant  thoughts  for  one  about  to  throw  himself  at  a 
pretty  girl's  feet,  and  pour  out  "his  soul  of  love  before  her;"  but 
that,  with  me,  was  the  lea*st  part  of  it.  Curran,  they  say,  usually 
picked  up  his  facts  in  a  case  from  the  opposite  counsel's  statements. 
I  always  relied  for  my  conduct  in  carrying  on  anything,  to  the 
chance  circumstances  of  the  moment,  and  trusted  to  my  animal 
spirits  to  give  me  an  interest  in  whatever,  for  the  time  being,  engaged 
me. 

I  opened  the  door.  Miss  Bingham  was  sitting  at  a  table,  her  head 
leaning  upon  her  hands — some  open  letters  which  lay  before  her,  evi- 
dently so  occupying  her  attention,  that  my  approach  was  unheard. 
On  my  addressing  her,  she  turned  round  suddenly,  and  became  at  first 
deep  scarlet,  then  pale  as  death ;  while,  turning  to  the  table,  she  hur- 
riedly threw  her  letters  into  a  drawer,  and  motioned  me  to  a  place 
beside  her. 

After  the  first  brief  and  commonplace  inquiry  for  my  health,  and 
hopes  for  my  speedy  recovery,  she  became  silent;  and  I,  too,  primed 
with  topics  innumerable  to  discuss — knowing  how  short  my  time 
might  prove  before  Mrs.  Bingham's  return— could  not  say  a  word. 
"I  hope,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  she,  at  length,  "that  you  have  in- 
curred no  risk  by  leaving  your  room  so  early." 

"  I  have  not,"  I  replied,  "  but  even  were  there  a  certainty  of  it,  the 
anxiety  I  labored  under  to  see  and  speuk  with  you  alone  would  have 
overcome  all  fears  on  this  account.  Since  this  unfortunate  busi- 
ness has  confined  me  to  my  chamber,  I  have  done  nothing  but  think 
over  circumstances  which  have  at  length  so  entirely  taken  pos- 
session of  me,  that  I  must,  at  any  sacrifice,  have  sought  an  oppor- 
tunity to  explain  to  you  "—here  Emily  looked  down,  aaa  I  continued. 


256  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

•"  I  need  scarcely  say,  what  my  feelings  must  long  since  have  be- 
trayed, that  to  have  enjoyed  the  daily  happiness  of  living  in  your 
society,  of  estimating  your  worth,  of  feeling  your  fascinations,  were 
not  the  means  most  in  request  for  him,  who  knew  too  well  how  little 
he  deserved  either  by  fortune  or  desert  to  hope  to  make  you  his,  and 
yet  how  little  has  prudence  or  caution  to  do  with  situations  like  this  " 
She  did  not  guess  the  animus  of  this  speech.  "  I  felt  all  1  havo 
described;  and  yet,  and  yet,  I  lingered  on,  prizing  too  dearly  the  hap- 
piness of  the  present  hour,  to  risk  it  by  any  avowal  of  sentiments 
which  might  have  banished  me  from  your  presence  forever.  If  the 
alternation  of  these  hopes  and  fears  have  proved  too  strong  for  my 
reason  at  last,  I  cannot  help  it;  and  this  it  is  which  now  leads  me  to 
make  this  avowal  to  you. "  Emily  turned  her  head  away  from  me- 
but  her  agitated  manner  showed  how  deeply  my  words  had  affected 
her;  and  I,  too,  now  that  I  had  finished,  felt  that  I  had  been  "  com- 
ing it  rather  strong." 

"I  hoped,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  she,  at  length,  "  I  hoped,  I  con- 
less,  to  have  had  an  opportunity  of  speaking  with  you."  Then 
thought  I,  the  game  is  over,  and  Bishop  Luscombe  is  .richer  by  five 
pounds  than  I  wish  him.  "  Something,  I  know  not  what  in 
r  manner,  led  me  to  suspect  that  your  affections  might  lean 
toward  me:  hints  you  have  dropped,  and,  now  and  then,  your  chance 
allusions  strengthened  the  belief,  and  I  determined,  at  length  that 
no  feeling  of  maidenly  shame  on  my  part  should  endanger  the  hap- 
piness of  either  of  us,  and  I  determined  to  see  you;  this  was  so  diffi- 
cult, that  I  wrote  a  letter,  and  that  letter,  which  might  have  saved 
me(all  distressing  explanation,  I  burned  before  you  this  momin°-." 

But  why,  dearest  girl  "—here  was  a  plug—"  why,  if  the  letter 
could  remove  any  misconstruction,  or  could  be  the  means  of  dispel- 
ling any  doubt — why  not  let  me  see  it?" 

"  Hear  me  out,"  cried  she,  eagerly,  and  evidently  not  heeding  my 
mterruption,  "  I  determined,  if  your  affections  were,  indeed^"— a 
flood  of  tears  here  broke  forth,  and  drowned  her  words-  her  head 
sank  between  her  hands,  and  she  sobbed  bitterly. 

"  Corpo  di  Baccho!"  said  I,  to  myself,  "  it's  all  over  with  me;  the 
poor  girl  is  evidently  jealous,  and  her  heart  will  break." 

'  Dearest,  dearest  Emily,"  said  I,  passing  my  arm  round  her  and 
approaching  my  head  close  to  hers,  "  if  you  think  that  any  other 
love  than  yours  could  ever  beat  within  this  heart— that  I  could  see 
vou  hourly  before  me— live  beneath  your  smile,  and  gaze  upon  your 
beauty— and,  still  more  than  all— pardon  the  boldness  of  the  thought 
— feel  that  I  was  not  indifferent  to  you." 

"Oh!  spare  me  this,  at  least,"  said  she,  turning  round  her  tearful 
eyes  upon  me,  and  looking  most  bewitchingly  beautiful      "  Have  I 
then  showed  you  this  plainly?" 
"Yes,  dearest  girl?    That  instinct  which  tells  us  we  are  loved  has 

spoken  within  me.     And  here,  in  this  beating  heart " 

"Oh!  say  no  more,"  said  she,  "if  I  have,  indeed,  gained  vour 

affections " 

"  Jf—  tf  YOU.  have,"  said  I,  clasping  her  to  my  heart,  while  she 
continued  to  sob  still  violently,  and  I  felt  half  disposed  to  blow  my 
brains  out  for  my  success.  However,  there  is  something  in  love- 
making  as  in  fox-hunting,  which  carries  you  along  in  spite  of  your 


HARRY    LORREQCTER. 

self,  and  I  continued  to  pour  forth  whole  rhapsodies  of  love  that  the 
Pastor  Fido  could  not  equal. 

"  Enough,"  said  she,  "  it  is  enough  that  you  love  me,  and  that  I 
have  encouraged  your  so  doing.  But,  oh !  tell  me  once  more,  and 
think  how  much  of  future  happiness  may  rest  upon  your  answer- 
tell  me,  may  not  this  be  some  passing  attachment,  which  circum- 
stances have  created,  and  others  may  dispel?  Say,  might  not  ab- 
sence, time,  or  another  more  worthy " 

This  was  certainly  a  very  rigid  cross-examination  when  I  thought 
the  trial  was  over;  and  not  being  exactly  prepared  for  it,  1  felt  no 
other  mode  of  reply  than  pressing  her  taper  fingers  alternately  to  my 
lips,  and  muttering  something  that  might  pass  for  a  declaration  of 
love  unalterable,  but,  to  my  own  ears,  resembled  a  lament  on  my  folly. 

"  She  is  mine,  now,"  thought  I,  "so  we  must  e'en  make  the  best 
of  it;  and  truly  she  is  a  very  handsome  girl,  though  not  a  Lady 
Jane  Callonby.  The  next  step  is  the  mamma;  but  I  do  not  antici- 
pate much  difficulty  in  that  quarter." 

"Leave  me  now,"  said  she,  in  a  low  and  broken  voice;  "but 
promise  not  to  speak  of  this  meeting  to  any  one  before  we  meet 
again.  I  have  my  reasons;  believe  me  they  are  sufficient  ones,  so 
promise  me  this  before  we  part." 

Having  readily  given  the  pledge  required,  I  again  kissed  her  hand 
and  bade  farewell,  not  a  little  puzzled  the  whole  time  at  perceiving 
that,  ever  since  my  declaration  and  acceptance,  Emily  seemed  any- 
thing but  happy,  and  evidently  struggling  against  some  secret  feeling 
of  which  I  knew  nothing.  "Yes,"  thought  I,  as  I  wended  my 
way  along  the  corridor,  "  the  poor  little  girl  is  tremendously  jealous, 
and  I  must  have  said  many  a  thing  during  our  intimacy  to  hurt  her. 
However,  that  is  all  past  and  gone;  and  now  comes  a  new  character 
for  me;  my  next  appearance  will  be  '  en  bon  man.' ' 


CHAPTER    XXXIX.  / 

THOUGHTS    UPON    MATRIMONY    IN    GENERAL,    AND     THE    ARMY    IN 
PARTICULAR. — THE  KNIGHT      OF  KERRY  AND  BILLY  M'CABE. 

"  So,"  thought  I,  as  I  closed  the  door  of  my  room  behind  me,  "  I 
am  accepted — the  die  is  cast  which  makes  me  a  Benedict :  yet  Heaven 
knows  that  never  was  a  man  less  disposed  to  be  over- joyous  at  his 
good  fortune!"  "What  a  happy  invention  it  were,  if,  when  adopting 
any  road  in  life,  we  could  only  manage  to  forget  that  we  had  ever 
contemplated  any  other!  It  is  the  eternal  looking  back  in  this  world 
that  fonns  the  staple  of  all  our  miseiy ;  and  we  are  but  ill-requited  for 
such  unhappiness  by  the  brightest  anticipations  we  can  conjure  up 
for  the  future.  How  much  of  all  that  "  past  "  was  now  to  become 
a  source  of  painful  recollection,  and  to  how  little  of  the  future  could 
I  look  forward  with  even  hope ! 

Our  weaknesses  are  much  more  constantly  the  spring  of  all  our 
annoyances  and  troubles  than  even  our  vices.  The  one  we  have  in 
some  sort  of  subjection:  we  are  perfect ly  slaves  to  the  others.  This 
thought  came  home  most  forcibly  to  my  bosom,  as  I  reflected  upon 
the  step  which  led  me  on  imperceptibly  to  my  present  embarrass- 
ment. "  Well,  c'est  fini,"  now,  said  I,  drawing  upon  that  bountiful 


258  HARRY    LORREQtTER. 

source  of  consolation  ever  open  to  the  man  who  mars  his  fortune-* 
that  "  what  is  past  can't  be  amended;"  which  piece  of  philosophy, 
as  well  as  its  twin  brother,  that  "  all  will  be  the  eame  a  hundred  years 
hence,"  have  been  golden  rules  to  me  from  my  childhood. 

The  transition  from  one  mode  of  life  to  another  perfectly  different, 
has  ever  seemed  to  me  a  great  trial  of  man's  moral  courage;  besides 
that  the  fact  of  quitting  forever  anything,  no  matter  how  insignifi- 
cant or  valueless,  is  always  attended  with  painful  misgivings.  My 
bachelor  life  had  its  share  of  annoyances  and  disappointments,  it  is 
true;  but,  upon  the  whole,  it  was  a  most  happy  one — and  now  I  was 
about  to  surrender  it  forever,  not  yielding  to  the  impulse  of  affec- 
tion and  love  for  one  without  whom  life  were  valueless  to  me,  but 
merely  a  recompense  for  the  indulgence  of  that  fatal  habit  I  had 
contracted  of  pursuing  with  eagerness  every  shadow  that  crossed  my 
path.  All  my  early  friends — all  my  vagrant  fancies — all  my  day- 
dreams of  the  future  I  was  now  to  surrender — for,  what  becomes  of 
any  man's  bachelor  friends  when  he  is  once  married?  Where  are 
his  rambles  in  high  and  by- ways  when  he  has  a  wife  and  what  is  left 
for  anticipation  after  his  wedding,  except,  perhaps,  to  speculate  upon 
the  arrangement  of  his  funeral?  To  a  military  man,  more  than  to 
any  olher,  these  are  serious  thoughts.  All  the  fascinations  of  an 
army  life,  in  war  or  peace,  lie  in  the  daity,  hourly  associations  with 
your  brother  officers — the  morning  cigar,  the  barrack-square  lounge 
— the  afternoon  ride — the  game  of  billiards  before  dinner — the  mess 
— (that  perfection  of  dinner  society) — the  plans  for  the  evening — the 
deviled  kidney  at  twelve — forming  so  many  points  of  departure 
whence  you  sail  out  upon  your  daily  voyage  through  life.  Versus 
these  you  have  that  awful  perversion  of  all  that  is  natural — an 
officer's  wife.  She  has  been  a  beauty  when  young,  had  black  eyes 
and  high  complexion,  a  good  figure,  rather  inclined  to  embonpoint, 
and  a  certain  springiness  in  her  walk,  and  a  jauntiness  in  her  air, 
that  are  ever  sure  attractions  to  a  sub  in  a  marching  regiment.  She 
can  play  backgammon,  and  sing  "  di  tanti  palpitil,"  and,  if  an  Irish 
woman,  is  certain  to  be  able  to  ride  a  steeple-chase,  and  has  an  uncle 
a  lord,  who  (en  parentliese)  always  turns  out  to  be  a  creation  made  by 
King  James,  after  his  abdication.  In  conclusion,  she  breakfasts  en 
papillate — wears  her  shoes  down  at  heel — calls  every  officer  of  the 
regiment  by  his  name— has  a  great  taste  for  increasing  his  majesty's 
lieges,  and  delights  in  London  porter.  To  this  genius  of  frow  1  have 
never  ceased  to  entertain  the  most  thrilling  abhorrence ;  and  yet,  how 
often  have  I  seen  what  appeared  to  be  pretty  and  interesting  girls, 
fall  into  something  of  this  sort  1  and  how  often  have  I  vowed  any 
fate  to  myself  rather  than  become  the  husband  of  a  baggage-wagon 
wife. 

Had  all  my  most  sanguine  hopes  promised  realizing— had  my 
suit  with  Lady  Jane  been  favorable,  I  could  scarcely  have  bid  adieu 
to  my  bachelor  life  without  a  sigh.  No  prospect  of  future  happi- 
ness can  ever  perfectly  exclude  all  regret  at  quitting  our  present  state 
forever.  I  am  sure,  if  I  had  been  a  caterpillar,  it  would  have  been 
with  a  heavy  heart  that  I  would  have  donned  my  wings  as  a  butter- 
fly. Now  the  metamorphosis  was  reversed :  need  it  be  wondered  if 
I  were  sad? 

So  completely  was  I  absorbed  in  my  thoughts  upon  this  matter 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  259 

that  I  had  not  perceived  the  entrance  of  O'Leary  and  Trevanion, 
who,  unaware  of  my  being  in  the  apartment,  as  I  was  stretched  upon 
a  sofa  in  a  dark  corner,  drew  their  chairs  toward  the  fire  and  began 
chatting. 

"  Do  you  know,  Mr.  Trevanion,"  said  O'Leary,  "  I  am  half  afraid 
of  this  disguise  of  mine.  I  sometimes  think  i  am  not  like  a  Pole: 
and  if  she  should  discover  me " 

"  No  fear  of  that  in  the  world;  your  costume  is  perfect,  your  beard 
unexceptionable.  I  could,  perhaps,  have  desired  a  little  less  paunch; 
but  then " 

"  That  comes  of  fretting,  as  Falstaff  says;  and  you  must  not  for- 
get that  I  am  banished  from  my  country." 

"  Now,  as  to  your  conversation,  I  should  advise  your  saying  very 
little— not  one  word  of  English.  You  may,  if  you  like,  call  in  the 
assistance  of  Irish  when  hard  pressed." 

"I  have  my  fears  on  that  score.  There  is  no  knowing  where 
that  might  lead  to  discovery.  You  know  the  story  of  the  Knight  of 
Kerry  and  Billy  M'Cabe?" 

"  I  fear  I  must  confess  my  ignorance — I  have  never  heard  of  it." 

"  Then  may  be  you  never  knew  Giles  Daxon?" 

"  I  have  not  that  pleasure  either." 

"  Lord  bless  me,  how  strange  that  is!  I  thought  he  was  better 
known  than  the  Duke  of  Wellington,  or  the  traveling  piper.  Well. 
I  must  tell  you  the  story,  for  it  has  a  moral,  too — indeed,  several 
morals;  but  you  will  find  that  out  for  yourself.  Well,  it  seems  that 
one  day  the  Knight  of  Kerry  was  walking  along  the  Strand  in  Lon- 
don, killing  an  hour's  time,  till  the  House  was  done  prayers,  and 
Hume  tired  of  hearing  himself  speaking;  his  eye  was  caught  by  an 
enormous  picture  displayed  upon  the  wall  of  a  house,  representing  a 
human  figure  covered  with  long,  dark  hair,  with  huge  nails  upon  his 
hands,  and  a  most  fearful  expression  of  face.  At  first  the  Knight 
thought  it  was  Dr.  Bo  wring;  but  on  coming  nearer  he  heard  a  maji 
with  a  scarlet  livery  and  a  cocked  hat  call  out,  '  Walk  in,  ladies  and 
gentlemen— the  most  wonderful  curiosity  ever  exhibited — only  one 
shilling— the  wild  man  from  Chippoowango,  in  Africa — eats  raw 
wittals  without  being  cooked,  and  many  other  surprising  and  pleas- 
ing performances. ' 

"  The  Knight  paid  his  money,  and  was  admitted.  At  first  the 
crowd  prevented  his  seeing  anything— for  the  place  was  full  to  suffo- 
cation and  the  noise  awful  —for,  besides  the  exclamations  and  ap- 
plause of  the  audience,  there  were  three  barrel-organs,  playing  '  Home, 
Sweet  Home  '  and  '  Cherry  Ripe,'  and  the  wild  man  himself  contrib- 
uted his  share  to  the  uproar.  At  last,  the  Knight  obtained,  by  dint 
of  squeezing,  and  some  pushing,  a  place  in  the  front,  when,  to  his 
very  great  horror,  he  beheld  a  figure  that  far  eclipsed  the  portrait 
without  doors. 

"  It  was  a  man  nearly  naked,  covered  with  long,  shaggy  hair, 
that  grew  even  over  his  nose  and  cheek-bones.  He  sprang  about 
sometimes  on  his  feet,  sometimes  on  all  fours,  but  always  uttering 
the  most  fearful  yells,  and  glaring  upon  the  crowd  in  a  manner  that 
was  really  dangerous.  The  Knight  did  not  feel  exactly  happy  at  the 
whole  proceeding,  and  began  heartily  to  wish  himself  back  in  the 
'  House,'  even  upon  a  committee  of  privileges,  when,  suddenly,  the 


2GO  HARRY    LORREQTIEE.    " 

savage  gave  a  more  frantic  scream  than  before,  and  seized  upon  a 
morsel  of  raw  beef,  which  a  keeper  extended  to  him  upon  a  long 
fork,  like  a  tandem  whip— he  was  not  safe,  it  appears,  at  close  quar- 
ters—this he  tore  to  pieces  eagerly,  and  devoured  in  the  most  vora- 
cious manner,  amid  great  clapping  of  hands,  and  other  evidences  of 
satisfaction  from  the  audience.  I'll  go  now,  thought  the  Knight; 
for  God  knows  whether,  in  his  hungry  moods,  he  might  not  fancy 
to  conclude  his  dinner  by  a  member  of  Parliament.  Just  at  this 
instant,  some  sounds  struck  upon  his  ear  that  surprised  him  not  a 
little.  He  listened  more  attentively;  and,  conceive,  if  you  can,  his 
amazement,  to  find  that,  amid  his  most  fearful  cries,  and  wild  yells, 
the  savage  was  talking  Irish.  Laugh,  if  you  like;  but  it's  truth  I 
am  telling  you;  nothing  less  than  Irish.  There  he  was  jumping 
four  feet  high  in  the  air,  eating  his  raw  meat;  pulling  out  his  hair  by 
handfuls;  and,  amid  all  this,  cursing  the  whole  company  to  his 
heart's  content,  in  as  good  Irish  as  was  ever  heard  in  Tralee.  ]N'ow 
though  the  Knight  had  heard  of  red  Jews  and  white  negroes  he  had 
never  happened  to  read  any  account  of  an  African  Irishman;  so,  he 
listened  very  closely,  and  by  degrees,  not  only  words  were  known  to 
nun,  but  the  very  voice  was  familiar.  At  length,  something  he 
heard,  left"  no  further  doubt  upon  his  mind,  and,  turning  to  the  sav- 
age he  addressed  him  in  Irish,  at  the  same  time  fixing  a  look  of  most 
scrutinizing  import  upon  him. 

'  Who  are  you,  you  scoundrel?'  said  the  Knight 
'Billy  M'Cabe,  your  honor.' 

:'  'And  what  do  you  men,  by  playing  off  these  tricks  here,  instead 
of  earning  your  bread  like  an  honest  man?' 

'  Whist,'  said  Billy,  '  and  keep  the  secret.  I'm  earning  the  rent 
for  your  honor.  One  must  do  many  a  queer  thing  that  pays  two 
pound  ten  an  acre  for  bad  land.'  " 

_This  was  enough:  the  Knight  wished  Billy  every  success,  and  left 
him  amid  the  vociferous  applause  of  a  well-satisfied  audience.  This 
adventure,  it  seems,  has  made  the  worthy  Knisrht  a  great  friend  to 
the  introduction  of  poor  laws;  for,  he  remarks  very  truly,  "  more  of 
Billy's  countrymen  might  take  a  fancy  to  a  savage  life,  if  the  secret 
was  found  out." 

It  was  impossible  for  me  to  preserve  my  incognito,  as  Mr.  O'Leary 
concluded  his  story,  and  I  was  obliged  to  join  in  the  mirth  of  Tre- 
vamon,  who  laughed  loud  and  long  as  he  finished  it. 


CHAPTER    XL. 

A     B EMINISC ENCE . 

O'LEARY  and  Trevanion  had  scarcely  left  the  room  when  the 
waiter  entered  with  two  letters-the  one  bore  a  German  postmark 
and  was  in  the  well -known  hand  of  Lady  Callonby— the  other  in  a 
writing  with  which  I  was  no  less  familiar— that  of  Emily  Binitfiam. 
Let  any  one  who  has  been  patient  enough  to  follow  me  through 
these  "  Confessions,"  conceive  my  agitation  at  this  moment.  There 
lay  my  fate  before  me,  coupled,  In  "all  likelihood,  with  a  view  of 
what  it  might  have  been  under  happier  auspices— at  least  so  in  antici- 
pation did  I  read  the  two  unopened  epistles.  My  late  interview  with 


BARRY    LORREQUER.  261 

Miss  Bingham  left  no  doubt  upon  my  mind  that  I  had  secured  her 
affections;  and  acting  in  accordance  with  the  counsel  of  Trevauion, 
no  less  than  of  my  own  sense  of  right,  I  resolved  upon  marrying  her, 
with  what  prospect  of  happiness  1  dared  not  to  think  of! 

Alas!  and  alas!  there  is  no  infatuation  like  the  taste  for  flirtation 
— mere  empty,  valueless,  heartless  flirtation.  You  hide  the  dice-box 
and  the  billiard  cue,  lest  your  son  become  a  gambler— you  put 
aside  the  racing  calender,  lest  he  imbibe  a  jockey  predilection— but 
you  never  tremble  at  his  fondness  for  white  muslin  and  a  satin  slip- 
per, far  more  dangerous  tastes  though  they  be,  and  infinitely  more, 
perilous  to  a  man's  peace  and  prosperity  than  all  the  "  queens  of 
trumps  "  that  ever  figured,  whether  on  pasteboard  or  the  Doncaster. 
"  Woman's  my  wakeness,  yer  honor,"  said  an  honest  Patlauder,  on 
being  charged  before  the  lord  mayor  with  having  four  wives  living; 
and  without  having  any  such  "  Algerine  act  "  upon  my  conscience, 
I  must,  I  fear,  enter  a  somewhat  similar  plea  for  my  downf allings, 
and  avow,  in  humble  gratitude,  that  I  have  scarcely  had  a  misfortune 
through  life  unattributable  to  them  in  one  way  or  another.  And  this 
I  say  without  any  reference  to  country,  class,  or  complexion,  "  black, 
brown,  or  fair,"  from  my  first  step  forth  into  life,  a  raw  sub,  in  the 
gallant  4-th,  to  this  same  hour,  I  have  no  other  avowal,  no  other 
confession  to  make.  "  Be  always  ready  with  the  pistol,"  was  the 
dying  advice  of  an  Irish  statesman  to  his  sons:  mine,  in  a  similar 
circumstance,  would  rather  be  "  Gardez  wus  des  femmes,"  and  more 
especially  if  they  be  Irish. 

There  is  something  almost  treacherous  in  the  facility  with  which 
an  Irish  girl  receives  your  early  attentions,  and  appears  to  like  them, 
that  invariably  turns  a  young  fellow's  head  very  long  before  he  has 
any  prospect  of  touching  her  heart.  She  thinks  it  so  natural  to  be 
made  love  to,  that  there  is  neither  any  affected  coyness  nor  any  agi- 
tated surprise.  She  listens  to  your  declaration  of  love  as  quietly  as 
the  chief  justice  would  to  one  of  law,  and  refers  the  decision  to^a 
packed  jury  of  her  relatives,  who  rarely  recommend  you  to  mercy. 
Love  and  fighting,  too,  are  so  intimately  united  in  Ireland,  that  a 
courtship  rarely  progresses  without  at  least  one  exchange  of  shots  be- 
tween some  of  the  parties  concerned.  My  first  twenty-four  hours  in 
Dublin  is  so  pleasantly  characteristic  of  this,  that  I  may  as  well 
relate  it  here  while  the  subject  is  before  us;  besides,  as  these  "  Con- 
fessions "  are  intended  as  warnings  and  guides  to  youth,  I  may  con- 
vey a  useful  lesson,  showing  why  a  man  should  not  "  make  love  in 
the  dark." 

It  was  upon  a  raw,  cold,  drizzling  morning  in  February,  18 — , 
that  our  regiment  landed  on  the  north  wall  from  Liverpool,  whence 
we  had  beon  hurriedly  ordered  to  repress  some  riots  and  disturbances 
then  agitating  Dublin. 

We  marched  to  the  Royal  Barracks,  our  band  playing  Patrick's 
Day,  to  the  very  considerable  admiration  of  as  naked  a  population  as 
ever  loved  music.  The  — th  dragoons  were  at  the  same  time  quar- 
tered there — right  pleasant,  jovial  fellows,  who  soon  gave  us  to  un- 
derstand that  the  troubles  were  over  before  we  arrived,  and  that  the 
great  city  authorities  were  now  returning  thanks  for  their  preserva- 
tion from  fire  and  sword  by  a  series  of  entertainments  of  the  most 
costly,  but  somewhat  incongruous  kind — the  company  being  scarce 


262  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

less  mSlee  than  the  dishes.  Peers  and  playactors,  judges  and  jailer*, 
archbishops,  tailors,  attorneys,  ropemakers  and  apothecaries,  all  unit- 
ing in  the  festive  delight  of  good  feeding  and  drinking  the  "  glorious 
memory  " — but  of  whom  half  the  company  knew  not,  only  surmis- 
ing "  it  was  something  agin  the  papists."  You  may  smile,  but  these 
were  pleasant  times,  and  I  scarcely  care  to  go  back  there  since  they 
were  changed.  But  to  return.  The  — th  had  just  received  an  invita- 
tion to  a  ball  to  be  given  by  the  high  sheriff,  and  to  which  they  most 
considerately  said  we  should  also  be  invited.  This  negotiation  was 
so  well  managed  that  before  noon  we  all  received  our  cards  from  a 
green-liveried  youth  mounted  upon  a  very  emaciated  pony— the 
whole  turn-out  not  auguring  flatteringly  of  the  high-sheriff 's  taste  in 
equipage. 

We  dined  with  the  — th,  and,  as  customary  before  going  to  an 
evening,  party,  took  the  "  other  bottle  "  of  claret  that  lies  beyond  the 
frontier  of  prudence.  In  fact,  from  the  lieutenant-colonel  down  to 
the  newly- joined  ensign,  there  was  not  a  face  in  the  party  that  did 
not  betray  "  signs  of  the  times,"  that  boded  most  favorably  for  the 
mirth  of  the  sheriff's  ball.  We  were  so  perfectly  up  to  the  mark 
that  our  major,  a  Connemara  man,  said,  as  we  left  the  mess-room,  "  a 
liqueur  glass  would  spoil  us." 

^  In  this  acme  of  our  intellectual  wealth,  we  started  about  eleven 
o'clock  upon  every  species  of  conveyance  that  chance  could  press 
into  the  service.  Of  hackney-coaches  there  were  few — but  in  jingles, 
noddies,  and  jaunting-cars,  with  three  on  a  side  and  "  one  in  the 
well,"  we  mustered  strong— down  Barrack-street  we  galloped,  the 
mob  cheering  us,  we  laughing,  and,  I'm  afraid,  shouting  a  little  too 
— the  watchmen  springing  their  rattles,  as  if  instinctively,  at  noise, 
and  the  whole  population  up  and  awake,  evidently  entertaining  a 
high  opinion  of  our  convivial  qualities.  Our  voices  became  gradu- 
ally more  decorous,  however,  as  we  approached  the  more  civilized 
quarter  of  the  town;  and,  with  only  the  slight  stoppage  of  the  pro- 
cession to  pick  up  an  occasional  dropper-off,  as  he  lapsed  from  the 
seat  of  a  jaunting-car,  we  arrived  at  length  at  our  host's  residence 
somewhere  in  Sackville-street. 

Had  our  advent  conferred  the  order  of  knighthood  upon  the  host 
he  could  not  have  received  us  with  more  "  empressement."  He  shook 
us  all  in  turn  by  the  hand,  to  the  number  of  eight-and-thirty,  and 
then  presented  us  seriatim  to  his  spouse,  a  very  bejeweled  lady  of 
some  forty  years— who,  what  between  bugles,  feathers,  and  her  tur- 
ban, looked  excessively  like  a  Chinese  pagoda  upon  a  saucer.  The 
rooms  were  crowded  to  suffocation— the  noise  awful— and  the  com- 
pany crushing  and  elbowing  rather  a  little  more  than  you  expect 
where  the  moiety  are  of  the  softer  sex.  However,  "  on  s' habitue  d 
toute,  sayeth  the  proverb,  and  with  truth,  for  we  all  so  perfectly  fell 
in  with  the  habits  of  the  place,  that,  ere  half  an  hour,  we  squeezed, 
ogleo\  leered,  and  drank  champagne  like  the  rest  of  the  corporation 
Devilish  hot  work  this,"  said  the  colonel,  as  he  passed  me  with 
two  rosy-cheeked,  smiling  ladies  on  either  arm;  "the  mayor— that 
ittle  fellow  in  the  punch-colored  shorts— has  very  nearly  put  me  hors 
du  combat  with  champagne;  take  care  of  him,  I  advise  you  " 

Tipsy  as  I  felt  myself,  I  was  yet  sufficiently  clear  to  be  fully  alive 
,.0  the  drollery  of  the  scene  before  me.     Flirtations  that,  under  other 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  263 

circumstances,  would  demand  the  secrecy  and  solitude  of  a  country 
green  lane,  or  some  garden  bower,  were  here  conducted  in  all  the 
open  effrontery  of  wax  lights  and  lusters;  looks  were  interchanged, 
hands  were  squeezed,  and  soft  things  whispered,  and  smiles  re- 
turned; till  the  intoxication  of  "  punch  negus  "  and  spiced  port,  gave 
way  to  the  far  greater  one  of  bright  looks  and  tender  glances.  Qua- 
drilles and  country  dances — waltzing  there  was  none  (perhaps  all  for 
the  best) — whist,  backgammon,  loo — unlimited  for  uproar — sand- 
wiches, and  warm  liquors,  employed  us  pretty  briskly  till  supper  was 
announced,  when  a  grand  squeeze  took  place  on  the  stairs — the  popu- 
lation tending  thitherward  with  an  eagerness  that  a  previous  starva- 
tion of  twenty- four  hours  could  alone  justify.  Among  this  dense 
mass  of  moving  muslin,  velvet  and  broadcloth,  I  found  myself 
chaperoning  an  extremely  tempting  little  damsel,  with  a  pair  of 
laughing  blue  eyes,  and  dark  eyelashes,  who  had  been  committed  to 
my  care  and  guidance  for  the  passage. 

"Miss  Moriarty,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  an  old  lady  in  green  and 
spangles,  who  I  afterward  found  was  the  lady  mayoress. 

"  The  nicest  girl  in  the  room,"  said  a  gentleman  with  a  Tipperary 
accent,  "  and  has  a  mighty  nice  place  near  Athlone." 

The  hint  was  not  lost  upon  me,  and  I  speedily  began  to  faire 
Vaimable  to  my  charge;  and  before  we  reached  the  supper-room, 
learned  certain  particulars  of  her  history,  which  I  have  not  yet  for- 
got. She  was,  it  seems,  sister  to  a  lady  then  in  the  room,  the  wife  of 
an  attorney,  who  rejoiced  in  the  pleasing  and  classical  appellation  of 
Mr.  Mark  Anthony  Fitzpatrick;  the  aforesaid  Mark  Anthony  being 
a  tall,  raw-boned,  black-whiskered,  ill-looking  dog,  that  from  time 
to  time  contrived  to  throw  very  uncomfortable  looking  glances  at  me 
and  Mary  Anne,  for  she  was  so  named,  the  whole  time  of  supper. 
After  a  few  minutes,  however,  I  totally  forgot  him,  and,  indeed, 
everything  else  in  the  fascination  of  my  fair  companion.  She  shared 
her  chair  with  me,  upon  which  I  supported  her  by  my  arm  passed 
round  the  back.  We  ate  our  pickled  salmon,  jelly,  blanc  mange, 
cold  chicken,  ham,  and  custard,  off  the  same  plate,  with  an  occa- 
sional squeeze  of  the  finger,  as  our  hands  met — her  eyes  making  sad 
havoc  with  me  all  the  while,  as  I  poured  my  tale  of  love — love,  last- 
ing, burning,  all-consuming — into  her  not  unwilling  ear. 

"  Ah!  now,  ye're  not  in  earnest?" 

"  Yes!  Mary  Anne,  by  all  that's " 

"  Well,  there  now,  don't  swear,  and  take  care— sure  Mark  An- 
thony is  looking." 

"  Mark  Anthony  be " 

"Oh!  how  passionate  you  are:  I'm  sure  I  never  could  live  easy 
with  you.  There,  now,  give  me  some  sponge-cake,  and  don't  be 
squeezing  me  or  they'll  see  you." 

"  Yes,  to  my  heart,  dearest  girl." 

"  Och,  it's  cheese  you're  giving  me,"  said  she,  with  a  grimace  that 
nearly  cured  my  passion. 

"  A  cottage,  a  hut,  with  you — with  you,"  said  I,  in  a  cadence  that 
I  defy  Macready  to  rival — "  what  is  worldly  splendor,  or  the  empty 
glitter  of  rank " 

I  here  glanced  at  my  epaulets,  on  which  I  saw  her  eyes  riveted. 


264  HARRY    LORREQUEE. 

"  Isn't  the  ginger  beer  beautiful?"  said  she,  emptying  a  glass  of 
champagne. 

Still  I  was  not  to  be  roused  from  my  trance,  and  continued  my 
courtship  as  warmly  as  ever. 

"I  suppose  you'll  come  home  now,"  said  a  gruff  voice  behind 
Mary  Anne. 

I  turned  and  perceived  Mark  Anthony,  with  a  grim  look  of  peculiar 
import. 

"Oh,  Mark,  dear,  I'm  engaged  to  dance  another  set  with  this  gen- 
tleman." 

"Ye  are,  are  ye?"  replied  Mark,  eying  me  askance.  "  Troth  and 
I  think  the  gentleman  would  be  better  if  he  went  off  to  his  flea-ba« 
himself." 

In  my  then  mystified  intellect  this  west  country  synonyme  for  a 
bed  a  little  puzzled  me. 

"  Yes,  sir,  the  lady  is  engaged  to  me,  have  you  anything  to  say  to 

til; 1 1  : 

"  Nothing  at  present,  at  all,"  said  Mark,  almost  timidly. 

"  Oh,  dear,  oh,  dear, "sobbed  Mary  Anne;  "  they'regoin"-  to  fl"-ht 
and  he'll  be  killed— I  know  he  will." 

For  which  of  us  this  fate  was  destined,  I  stopped  not  to  consider, 
but  taking  the  lady  under  my  arm,  elbowed  my  way  to  the  drawino-I 
room,  amid  a  very  sufficient  patting  upon  the  back,  and  thumpin^ 
between  the  shoulders,  bestowed  by  members  of  the  company  who 
approved  of  my  proceedings.  The  three  fiddles,  the  flute,  and  bas- 
soon, that  formed  our  band,  being  by  this  time  sufficiently  drunk, 
played  after  a  fashion  of  their  own,  which,  by  one  of  those  strange 
sympathies  of  our  nature,  imparted  its  influence  to  our  legs,  and  a 
country  dance  was  performed  in  a  style  of  free  and  easy  gesticula- 
tion that  defies  description.  At  the  end  of  eighteen  couples,  tired  of 
my  exertions— and  they  were  not  slight — I  leaned  my  back  against  the 
wall  of  the  room,  which  I  now,  for  the  first  time,  perceived  was  cov- 
ered with  a  very  peculiar  and  novel  species  of  hanging,  no  less  than 
a  kind  of  rough,  green  baize  cloth,  that  moved  and  floated  at  every 
motion  of  the  air.  I  paid  little  attention  to  this  till,  suddenly  turn- 
ing my  head,  something  gave  way  behind  it.  I  felt  myself  struck 
upon  the  back  of  the  neck,  and  fell  forward  into  the  room,  covered 
by  a  perfect  avalanche  of  fenders,  fire-irons,  frying-pans,  and  copper 
kettles,  mingled  with  the  lesser  artillery  of  small  nails,  door  keys, 
and  hold-facts.  There  I  lay,  amid  the  most  vociferous  mirth  I  ever 
listened  to,  under  the  confounded  torrent  of  ironmongery  that  half- 
stunned  me.  The  laughter  over,  I  was  assisted  to  rise,  and  having 
drank  about  a  pint  of  vinegar,  and  had  my  face  and  temples  washed 
in  strong  whisky  punch,  the  allocation  of  the  fluids  being  mistaken, 
I  learned,  that  our  host,  the  high  sheriff,  was  a  celebrated  tin  and 
iron  man,  and  that  his  salles  Oe  reception  were  no  other  than  his 
magazine  of  metals,  and  that  to  conceal  the  well-filled  shelves  from 
the  gaze  of  his  aristocratic  guests,  they  were  clothed  in  the  manner 
related ;  which  my  unhappy  head,  by  some  misfortune,  displaced, 
and  thus  brought  on  a  calamity  scarcely  less  afflicting  to  him  than  to 
myself.  I  should  scarcely  have  stopped  to  mention  this  here,  were 
it  not  that  Mary  Anne's  gentle  nursing  of  me  in  my  misery  went 
far  to  complete  what  her  i'asciualion  had  begun;  and  although  she 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  205 

could  not  help  laughing  at  the  occurrence,  I  forgave  her  readily  for 
her  kindness. 

"  Remember,"  said  I,  trying  to  ogle  through  a  black  eye,  painted 
by  the  angle  of  a  register  grate,  "  remember,  Mary  Anne,  I  aai  to 
see  you  home. ' ' 

"  Oh!  dear,  sir,  sure  I  don't  know  how  you  can  manage  it " 

Here  Mark  Anthony's  entrance  cut  short  her  speech,  for  he  came 
to  declare  that  some  of  the  officers  had  taken  his  coach,  and  was,  ay 
might  lie  supposed,  in  a  towering  passion. 

"  If,  sir,"  said  I,  with  an  air  of  the  most  balmy  courtesy,  "  if  I 
<an  be  of  any  use  in  assisting  you  to  see  your  friends  home " 

"  Ah!  then,  ye'r  a  nice  looking  article  to  see  ladies  home.  I  wish 
you  seen  yourself  this  minute,"  said  he. 

As  I  felt  it  would  be  no  breach  of  the  unities,  time,  place,  and 
everything  considered,  to  smash  his  skull,  I  should  certainly  have 
proceeded  to  do  so,  had  not  a  look  of  the  most  imploring  kind  from 
Mary  Anne  restrained  me.  By  this  time,  he  had  taken  her  under  the 
arm,  and  was  leading  her  away.  I  stood  irresolute,  till  a  glance 
from  my  charmer  caught  me;  when  I  rallied  at  once,  and  followed 
them  down  stairs.  Here  the  scene  was  to  the  full  as  amusing  as 
above;  the  cloaking,  shawling,  shoeing,  &c.,  of  the  ladies  being  cer- 
tainly as  mirth-moving  a  process  as  I  should  wish  to  see.  Here 
were  mothers  trying  to  collect  their  daughters,  as  a  hen  her  chick- 
ens, and  as  in  that  case,  the  pursuit  of  one  usually  lost  all  the 
others;  testy  papas  swearing,  lovers  leering,  as  they  twisted  the 
boas  round  the  fair  throats  of  their  sweethearts;  vows  of  love, 
mingling  with  lamentations  for  a  lost  slipper,  or  a  stray  mantle. 
Sometimes  the  candles  were  extinguished,  and  the  melee  became 
greater,  till  the  order  and  light  were  restored  together.  Meanwhile, 
each  of  our  fellows  had  secured  his  fair  one,  save  myself,  and  I  was 
exposed  to  no  small  ridicule  for  my  want  of  savairfaire.  Nettled  by 
this,  I  made  a  plunge  to  the  corner  of  the  room,  where  Maiy  Anne 
was  shawling;  I  recognized  her  pink  sash,  threw  her  cloak  over  her 
shoulders,  and  at  the  very  moment  that  Mark  Anthony  drew  his 
wife's  arm  within  his,  I  performed  the  same  by  my  friend,  and  fol- 
lowed them  to  the  door.  Here,  the  grim  brother-in-law  turned 
around  to  take  Mary  Anne's  arm,  and  seeing  her  with  me,  merely 
gave  a  kind  of  hoarse  chuckle,  and  muttered:  "Very  well,  sir; 
upon  my  conscience,  you  will  have  it,  I  see."  During  this  brief  in 
terval,  so  occupied  was  I  in  watching  him,  that  I  never  once  looked 
in  my  fair  friend's  face;  but  the  gentle  squeeze  of  her  arm,  as  she 
leaned  upon  me,  assured  me  that  I  had  her  approval  of  what  I  was 
doing. 

What  were  the  precise  train  of  my  thoughts,  and  what  the  sub- 
jects of  conversation  between  us,  I  am  unfortunately  now  unable  to 
recollect.  It  is  sufficient  to  remember,  that  I  could  not  believe  five 
minutes  had  elapsed,  when  we  arrived  at  York-street.  "  Then  you 
confess  you  love  me,"  said  I,  as  I  squeezed  her  arm  to  my  side. 

"  Then  by  this  kiss,"  said  I,  "  I  swear  never  to  relinquish ' 

What  I  was  about  to  add,  I  am  sure  I  know  not;  but  true  it  is, 
that  a  certain  smacking  noise  here  attracted  Mr.  Mark  Anthony's 
attention,  who  started  round,  looked  us  full  in  the  face,  and  then 
gravely  added,  "  Enough  is  as  good  as  a  feast.  I  wish  you  pleasant 


266  HARRY    LORREQUEK. 

dreams,  Mr.  Larry  Kar,  if  that's  your  name;  and  you'll  hear  froro 
me  in  the  morning." 

"  I  intend  it,"  said  I.     "  Good  night,  dearest;  think  of " 

The  slam  of  the  street  door  in  my  face  spoiled  the  peroration,  and 
I  turned  toward  home. 

By  the  time  I  reached  the  barracks,  the  united  effects  of  cham- 
pagne, sherry,  and  Sheffield  iron,  had,  in  a  good  measure  subsided, 
and  my  head  had  become  sufficiently  clear  to  permit  a  slight  retro- 
spect of  the  evening's  amusement. 

From  two  illusions  I  was  at  least  awakened: — First,  the  high 
sheriff's  ball  was  not  the  most  accurate  representation  of  high  so- 
ciety: secondly,  I  was  not  deeply  enamored  of  Mary  Anne  Moriarty. 
Strange  as  it  may  seem,  and  how  little  soever  the  apparent  connec- 
tion between  those  two  facts,  the  truth  of  one  had  a  considerable  over; 
influence  in  deciding  the  other.  "Nimporte,"  said  I,  "the  thing  is 
it  was  rather  good  fun,  too,  upon  the  whole,  saving  the  '  chute  dea 
casseroles;'  and  as  to  the  lady,  she  must  have  seen  it  was  a  joke  as 
well  as  myself.  At  least,  so  I  am  decided  it  shall  be;  and  as  there 
was  no  witness  to  our  conversation,  the  thing  is  easily  got  out  of. ' ' 

The  following  day,  as  I  was  dressing  to  ride  out,  my  servant  an- 
nounced no  less  a  person  than  Mr.  Mark  Anthony  Fitzpatrick,  who 
said  "  that  he  came  upon  a  little  business,  and  must  see  me  immedi- 
ately." 

Mr.  Fitzpatrick,  upon  being  announced,  speedily  opened  his  nego- 
tiation by  asking  hi  very  terse  and  unequivocal  phrase,  my  inten- 
tions regarding  his  sister-in-law.  After  professing  the  most  perfect 
astonishment  at  the  question,  and  its  possible  import,  I  replied,  that 
she  was  a  most  charming  person,  with  whom  I  intended  to  have 
Hothing  whatever  to  do. 

"  And  may  be  you  never  proposed  for  her  at  the  ball  last  night?" 

"  Propose  for  a  lady  at  a  ball,  the  first  time  I  ever  met  her!" 

"  Just  so.  Can  you  carry  your  memory  so  far  back?  or,  perhaps, 
I  had  better  refresh;"  and  he  here  repeated  the  whole  substance  of 
my  conversation  on  the  way  homeward,  sometimes  in  the  very  words 
I  used. 

"  But,  my  dear  sir,  the  young  lady  could  never  have  supposed  I 
used  such  language  as  this  you  have  repeated?" 

"  So,  then,  you  intend  to  break  off?  Well  then,  it's  right  to  tell 
you  that  you're  in  a  very  ugly  scrape;  for  it  was  my  wife  you  took 
home  last  night — not  Miss  Moriarty;  and  I  leave  you  to  choose  at 
your  leisure,  whether  you'd  rather  be  defendant  hi  a  suit  for  breach 
of  promise  or  seduction;  and,  upon  my  conscience,  I  think  it's  civil 
in  me  to  give  you  a  choice." 

What  a  pretty  disclosure  was  here !  So  that  while  I  was  imagin- 
ing myself  squeezing  the  hand  and  winning  the  heart  of  the  fair 
Mary  Anne,  I  was  merely  making  a  case  of  strong  evidence  for  a 
jury,  that  might  expose  me  to  the  world,  and  half  ruin  me  in  dam- 
ages. There  was  but  one  course  open— to  make  a  fight  for  it;  and, 
from  what  I  saw  of  my  friend  Mark  Anthony,  this  did  not  seem 
difficult. 

1  accordingly  assumed  a  high  tone,  laughed  at  the  entire  affair, 
said  it  was  a  "  way  we  had  in  the  army,"  that  "  we  never  meant 
anything  by  it,"  &c.,  <$;c. 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  267 

In  a  few  minutes  I  perceived  the  bait  was  taking.  Mr.  Fitz- 
patrick's  west  country  blood  was  up;  all  thought  of  the  legal  resource 
was  abandoned;  and  he  flung  out  of  the  room  to  find  a  friend,  I 
having  given  him  the  name  of  "  one  of  ours  "  as  mine  upon  the  oc- 
casion. 

Very  little  tune  was  lost,  for  before  three  o'clock  that  afternoon  a 
meeting  was  fixed  for  the  following  morning  at  the  North  Bull,  and 
I  had  the  satisfaction  of  hearing  that  I  only  escaped  the  malignant  elo- 
quence of  Holmes  in  the  King's  Bench,  to  be  "  blazed  "  at  by  the 
best  shot  on  the  western  circuit.  The  thought  was  no  way  agreeable, 
and  I  indemnified  myself  for  the  scrape  by  a  very  satisfactory  an- 
athema upon  the  high  sheriff  and  his  ball,  and  his  confounded  sauce- 
pans ;  for  to  the  lady's  sympathy  for  my  sufferings  I  attributed  much 
of  my  folly. 

At  eight  the  next  morning  I  found  myself  standing  with  Curzon 
and  the  doctor  upon  that  bleak  portion  of  her  majesty's  dominion, 
they  term  the  North  Bull,  waiting  in  a  chilly  rain,  and  a  raw  fog,  till 
it  pleased  Mark  Anthony  Fitzpatrick  to  come  and  shoot  me — such 
being  the  precise  terms  of  our  combat,  in  the  opinion  of  all  parties. 

The  time,  however,  passed  on,  and  half -past  eight,  three  quarters 
and  at  last  nine  o'clock,  without  his  appearing;  when,  just  as  Cur- 
zon had  resolved  upon  our  leaving  the  ground,  a  hack  jaunting-car 
was  seen  driving  at  full  speed  along  the  road  near  us.  It  came  nearer 
and  at  length  drew  up;  two  men  leaped  off  and  came  toward  us;  one 
of  whom,  as  he  came  forward,  took  off  his  hat  politely,  and  intro- 
duced himself  as  Mr.  O' Gorman,  the  fighting  friend  of  Mark  An- 
thony. 

"  It's  a  mighty  unpleasant  business  I'm  come  upon,  gentlemen," 
said  he;  "Mr.  Fitzpatrick  has  been  ' unavoidably  prevented  from 
having  the  happiness  to  meet  you  this  morning " 

"  Then  you  can't  expect  us,  sir,  to  dance  attendance  upon  him 
here  to-morrow,"  said  Curzon,  interrupting. 

"By  no  manner  of  means,"  replied  the  other  placidly;  "  for  it 
would  be  equally  inconvenient  for  him  to  be  here  then.  But  I  have 
only  to  say,  that  as  I'm  here  for  my  friend,  and  know  all  the  par- 
ticulars of  the  case,  maybe  you'd  have  the  kindness  to  waive  all 
etiquette,  and  let  me  stand  in  his  place." 

"  Certainly  and  most  decidedly  not,"  said  Curzon.  "  "Waive  eti- 
quette!— why,  sir,  we  have  no  quarrel  with  you;  never  saw  you  be- 
fore." 

"  Well,  now,  isn't  this  hard?"  said  Mr.  O'Gorman,  addressing  his 
friend,  who  stood  by  with  a  pistol-case  under  his  arm :  ' '  but  I  told 
Mark  that  I  was  sure  they'd  be  standing  upon  punctilio,  for  they 
were  English.  Well,  sir,"  said  he,  turning  toward  Curzon,  "  there's 
but  one  way  to  arrange  it  now,  that  I  see.  Mr.  Fitzpatrick,  you 
must  know,  was  arrested  this  morning  for  a  trifle  of  £140.  If  you 
or  your  friend  there  will  join  us  in  the  bail,  we  can  get  hiui  out,  and 
he'll  fight  you  in  the  morning  to  your  satisfaction." 

When  the  astonishment  this  proposal  had  created  subsided,  we 
assured  Mr.  O'Gorman  that  we  were  noways  disposed  to  pay  such  a 
price  for  our  amusement,  a  fact  that  seemed  considerably  to  surprise 
both  him  and  his  friend,  and  adding,  that  to  Mr.  Fitzpatrick,  per- 
sonally, we  should  feel  bound  to  hold  ourselves  pledged  at  a  future 


268  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

period,  we  left  the  ground,  Curzon  laughing  heartily  at  the  original 
expedient  thus  suggested,  while  I  inwardly  pronounced  a  most  glow- 
ing eulogy  on  the  law  of  imprisonment  for  debt. 

Before  Mr.  Fitzpatrick  obtained  the  benefit  of  the  act,  we  were 
ordered  abroad,  and  I  have  never  since  heard  of  him. 


CHAPTER  XLI. 

THE    TWO    LETTERS 


FROM  the  digression  of  the  last  chapter  I  was  recalled  by  the  sight 


of  the  two  letters  which  la 
I  first  broke  the  seal  of  L 


lay  during  my  reverie  unopened  before  me. 
iady  Callonby 's  epistle,  which  ran  thus : 

"  MUNICH,  LA  CROIX  BLANCHE. 

"  MY  DEAR  MR.  LORREQTJER,— I  have  just  heard  from  Kilkee, 
that  you  are  at  length  about  to  pay  us  your  long  promised  visit,  and 
write  these  few  lines  to  beg  that  before  leaving  Paris  you  will  kindly 
execute  for  me  the  commissions  of  which  1  inclose  a  formidable  list, 
or  at  least  as  many  of  them  as  you  can  conveniently  accomplish. 
Our  stay  here  now  will  be  so  short  that  it  will  require  all  your  dis- 
patch to  overtake  us  before  reaching  Milan,  Lady  Jane's  health  re- 
quiring an  immediate  change  of  climate.  Our  present  plans  are,  to 
winter  in  Italy,  although  such  will  interfere  considerably  with  Lord 
Callonby,  who  is  pressed  much  by  his  friends  to  accept  office.  How- 
ever, all  this  and  our  other  gossip  I  reserve  for  our  meeting.  Mean- 
while, adieu ;  and  if  any  of  my  '  emplettes '  bore  you,  omit  them  at 
once,  except  the  white  roses  and  the  Brussels  veil,  which  Lady  Jane 
is  most  anxious  for.  Sincerely  yours, 

"CHARLOTTE  CALLONBY." 

How  much  did  these  few  and  apparently  commonplace  lines  con- 
vey to  me  f  First,  my  visit  was  not  only  expected,  but  actually 
looked  forward  to,  canvassed — perhaps  I  might  almost  whisper  to 
myself  the  flattery—  wished  for.  Again,  Lady  Jane's  health  was 
spoken  of  as  precarious,  less  actual  illness,  I  said  to  myself,  than 
mere  delicacy,  requiring  the  bluer  sky  and  warmer  airs  of  Italy. 
Perhaps  her  spirits  were  affected — some  mental  malady — some  ill- 
placed  passion — que  sais  je  ?  In  fact,  my  brain  ran  on  so  fast  in  its 
devisings,  that  by  a  quick  process,  less  logical  than  pleasing,  1  satis- 
fied myself  that  the  lovely  Lady  Jane  Callonby  was  actually  in  love, 
with  whom  let  the  reader  guess  at.  And  Lord  Callonby,  too,  about 
to  join  the  ministry— well,  all  the  better  to  have  one's  father-in-law 
in  power— promotion  is  so  cursed  slow  now-a-days.  And,  lastly,  the 
sly  allusion  to  the  commissions — the  mechancete  of  introducing  Tier 
name  to  interest  me.  With  such  materials  as  these  to  build  upon, 
frail  as  they  may  seem  to  others,  I  found  no  difficulty  in  regarding 
myself  as  the  dear  friend  of  the  f amily,  and  the  acknowledged  suitor 
of  Lady  Jane. 

In  themidst,  however,  of  all  my  self-gratulation,  my  eye  fell  upon 
tne  letter  of  Emily  Bingham,  and  I  suddenly  remembered  how  fatal 
to  all  such  happy  anticipations  it  might  prove.  1  tore  it  open  in  pas- 
sionate haste,  and  read: 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  269 

"  MY  DEAR  MR.  LORREQUER, — As,  from  the  interview  we  have 
had  this  morning,  I  arn  inclined  to  believe  that  I  have  gained  your 
affections,  I  think-that  I  should  ill  requite  such  a  state  of  your  feel- 
ing for  ine,  were  1  to  conceal  that  I  cannot  return  you  mine ;  in  fact, 
they  are  not  mine  to  bestow.  This  frank  avowal,  whatever  pain  it 
may  have  cost  me,  I  think  I  owe  to  you  to  make.  You  will,  per- 
haps, say  the  confession  should  have  been  earlier;  to  which  I  reply, 
it  should  have  been  so,  had  I  known,  or  even  guessed  at,  the  nature 
of  your  feelings  for  me.  For — and  I  write  it  in  all  truth,  and  per- 
fect respect  for  you — 1  only  saw  in  your  attentions  the  flirting  habits 
of  a  man  of  the  world,  with  a  very  uninformed  and  ignorant  girl  of 
eighteen,  with  whom,  as  it  was  his  amusement  to  travel,  he  deemed 
it  worth  his  while  to  talk.  1  now  see,  and  bitterly  regret  my  error, 
yet  deem  it  better  to  make  this  painful  confession  than  suffer  you  to 
remain  in  a  delusion  which  may  involve  your  happiness  in  the  wreck 
of  mine.  I  am  most  faithfully  your  friend, 

"EMILY  BINGIIAM." 

' '  What  a  charming  girl  she  is !"  I  cried  as  I  finished  the  letter ;  "how 
full  of  true  feeling,  how  honorable,  how  straightforward :  and  yet  it 
is  devilish  strange  how  cunningly  she_  played  her  part— and  it  seems 
now  that  I  never  did  touch  her  affections ;  Master  Harry,  I  begin  to 
fear  you  are  not  altogether  the  awful  lady-killer  you  have  been 
thinking."  Thus  did  1  meditate  upon  this  singular  note — my  delight 
at  being  once  more  ' '  free, ' '  mingling  with  some  chagrin  that  1  was 
jockeyed,  and  by  a  young  miss  of  eighteen,  too.  Confoundedly  dis- 
agreeable if  the  mess  knew  it,  thought  I.  Per  Bacco — how  they 
would  quiz  upon  my  difficulty  to  break  off  a  match,  when  the  lady 
was  only  anxious  to  get  rid  of  me. 

This  affair  must  never  come  to  their  ears,  or  1  am  ruined;  and 
now,  the  sooner  all  negotiations  are  concluded,  the  better.  1  must 
obtain  a  meeting  with  Emily,  acknowledge  the  truth  and  justice  of 
all  her  views,  express  my  deep  regret  at  the  issue  of  the  affair,  slyly 
hint  that  I  have  been  merely  playing  her  own  game  back  upon  her;  for 
it  would  be  the  devil  to  let  her  go  off  with  the  idea  that  she  had 
singed  me,  yet  never  caught  fire  herself;  so  that  we  both  shall  draw 
stakes,  and  part  friends. 

This  valiant  resolution  taken,  I  wrote  a  very  short  note,  begging 
an  interview,  and  proceeded  to  make  as  formidable  a  toilet  as  1  could 
for  the  forthcoming  meeting ;  before  I  had  concluded  which,  a  verbal 
answer  by  her  maid  informed  me,  that  "  Miss  Bingham  was  alone, 
and  ready  to  receive  me." 

As  I  took  my  way  along  the  corridor,  I  could  not  help  feeling  that 
among  all  my  singular  scrapes  and  embarrassing  situations  through 
life,  my  present  mission  was  certainly  not  the  least;  the  difficulty, 
such  as  it  was,  being  considerably  increased  by  my  own  confounded 
"  amour  propre,"  that  would  not  leave  me  satisfied  with  obtaining 
my  liberty,  if  1  could  not  insist  upon  coming  off  scatheless  also.  In 
fact,  I  was  not  content  to  evacuate  the  fortress,  if  I  were  not  to 
march  out  with  all  the  honors  of  war.  This  feeling  I  neither  attempt 
to  palliate  nor  defend.  I  merely  chronicle  it,  as  are  too  many  of 
these  Confessions,  as  a  matter  of  truth,  yet  not  the  less  a  subject  for 
sorrow. 


270  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

My  hand  was  upon  the  lock  of  the  door.  I  stopped,  hesitated,  and 
listened.  I  certainly  heard  something.  Yes,  it  is  too  true,  she  is 
sobbing.  What  a  total  overthrow  to  all  my  selfish  resolves,  all  my 
egotistical  plans,  did  that  slight  cadence  give.  She  was  crying;  her 
tears  for  the  bitter  pain  she  concluded  I  was  suffering;  mingling 
doubtless  with  sorrow  for  her  own  sources  of  grief;  for  it  was  clear 
to  me  that  whoever  may  have  been  my  favored  rival,  the  attachment 
was  either  unknown  to,  or  unsanctioned  by  the  mother.  I  wished  I 
had  not  listened ;  all  my  determinations  were  completely  routed,  and 
as  I  opened  the  door  1  felt  my  heart  beating  almost  audibly  against 
my  side. 

In  a  subdued  half-light — tempered  through  the  rose-colored  cur- 
tains, with  a  small  Sevres  cup  of  newly-plucked  moss-roses  upon  the 
table — sat,  or  rather  leaned,  Emily  Bingham,  her  face  buried  in  her 
hands,  as  I  entered.  She  did  not  hear  my  approach,  so  that  I  had 
above  a  minute  to  admire  the  graceful  character  of  her  head,  and  the 
fine  undulating  curve  of  her  neck  and  shoulders,  before  I  spoke. 

"  Miss  Bingham,"  said  I 

She  started — looked  up — her  dark  blue  eyes,  brilliant  though 
tearful,  were  fixed  upon  me  for  a  second,  as  if  searching  my  very 
inmost  thoughts.  She  held  ,out  her  hand,  and,  turning  her  head 
aside,  made  room  for  me  on  the  sofa  beside  her.  Strange  girl, 
thought  I,  that  in  the  very  moment  of  breaking  with  a  man  forever, 
puts  on  her  most  fascinating  toilet,  arrays  herself  in  her  most  be- 
witching manner,  and  gives  him  a  reception  only  calculated  to  turn 
his  head,  and  render  him  ten  times  more  in  love  than  ever.  Her 
hand,  which  remained  still  in  mine,  was  burning  as  if  in  fever,  and 
the  convulsive  movement  of  her  neck  and  shoulders  showed  me  how 
much  this  meeting  cost  her.  We  were  both  silent,  till  at  length, 
feeling  that  any  chance  interruption  might  leave  us  as  far  as  ever 
from  understanding  each  other,  I  resolved  to  begia. 

"  My  dear,  dear  Emily,"  I  said,  "  do  not,  I  entreat  of -you,  add  to 
the  misery  I  am  this  moment  enduring  by  letting  me  see  you  thus. 
Whatever  your  wrong  toward  me,  this  is  far  too  heavy  a  retribution. 
My  object  was  never  to  make  you  wretched,  if  I  am  not  to  obtain 
the  bliss  to  strive  and  make  you  happy." 

"  Oh,  Harry  "—this  was  the  first  time  she  had  ever  so  called  me — 
"  how  like  you,  to  think  of  me — of  me,  at  such  a  time,  as  if  I  was 
not  the  cause  of  all  our  present  unhappiness— but  not  willfully,  not 
intentionally.  Oh,  no,  no — your  attentions — the  flattery  of  your 
aotice,  took  me  at  once,  and,  in  the  gratification  of  my  self-esteem, 


you  have  gained 
pretty  sequel  to  my  well  matured  plans! — "  and  now,  Emily " 

"  But  have  I  really  done  so?"  said  she,  hurriedly  turning  round, 
and  fixing  her  large  full  eyes  upon  me,  while  one  of  her  hands  played 
convulsively  through  my  hair — "  have  I  your  heart— your  whole 
heart?" 

"  Can  you  doubt  it,  dearest,"  said  I,  passionately  pressing  her  to 
my  bosom;  and  at  the  same  time  muttering,  "  What  the  devil'i  iu 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  271 

the  wind  now;  we  are  surely  going  to  patch  up  our  separation  and 
make  iove  in  earnest." 

There  she  lay,  her  head  upon  my  shoulder,  her  long,  brown,  wav- 
ing ringlets  falling  loosely  across  my  face  and  on  my  bosom,  he* 
hand  in  mine.  What  were  her  thoughts  I  cannot  guess;  mine,  God 
forgive  me,  were  a  fervent  wish  either  for  her  mother's  appearance, 
or  that  the  hotel  would  suddenly  take  fire,  or  some  other  extensive 
calamity  arise  to  put  the  finishing  stroke  to  this  embarrassing  situa- 
tion. 

None  of  these,  however,  were  destined  to  occur;  and  Emily  lay 
still  and  motionless  as  she  was,  scarce  seeming  to  breathe,  and  pale 
as  death.  ' '  What  can  this  mean  ? ' '  said  I ;  "  surely  this  is  not  the  usual 
way  to  treat  with  a  rejected  suitor;  if  it  be,  why  then,  by  Jupiter, 
the  successful  one  must  rather  have  the  worst  of  it;  and  I  fervently 
hope  that  Lady  Jane  be  not  at  this  moment  giving  his  conge  to  some 
disappointed  swain."  She  slowly  raised  her  long,  black  fringed  eye- 
lids, and  looked  into  my  face,  with  an  expression  at  once  so  tender 
and  so  plaintive,  that  I  felt  a  struggle  within  myself  whether  to  press 
her  to  my  heart,  or — what  the  deuce  was  the  alternative.  I  hope  my 
reader  knows,  for  I  really  do  not.  ' '  And  after  all, "  thought  I, ' '  if  we 
are  to  marry,  I  am  only  anticipating  a  little;  and  if  not,  why  then  a 
'  chaste  salute,'  as  Winifred  Jenkins  calls  it,  she'll  be  none  the  worse 
for."  Acting  at  once  upon  this  resolve,  I  leaned  downward,  and  pass- 
ing back  her  ringlets  from  her  now  flushed  cheek,  I  was  startled  by 
my  name,  which  I  heard  called  several  times  in  the  corridor.  The 
door  at  the  same  instant  was  burst  suddenly  open,  and  Trevanion 
appeared. 

"Harry,  Harry  Lorrequer,"  cried  he,  as  he  entered;  then  sud- 
denly checking  himself,  added,  "  a  thousand,  ten  thousand  pardons. 
But " 

"  But  what,"  cried  I,  passionately,  forgetting  all  save  the  situation 
of  poor  Emily  at  the  moment,  "  what  can  justify " 

"  Nothing,  certainly,  can  justify  such  an  intrusion,"  said  Tre- 
vanion, finishing  my  sentence  for  me,  "  except  the  very  near  danger 
you  run  this  moment  in  being  arrested.  O'Leary's  imprudence  has 
compromised  your  safety,  and  you  must  leave  Paris  within  an  hour. " 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Trevanion,"  said  Emily,  who  by  this  time  had  regained 
a  more  befitting  attitude,  "  pray  speak  out;  what  is  it?  is  Harry — is 
Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  mean,  in  any  danger?" 

"  Nothing  of  consequence,  Miss  Bingham,  if  he  only  act  with 
prudence,  and  be  guided  by  his  friends.  Lorrequer,  you  will  find 
me  in  your  apartments  in  half  an  hour — till  then,  adieu." 

While  Emily  poured  forth  question  after  question,  as  to  the  nat- 
ure and  extent  of  my  present  difficulty,  I  could  not  help  thinking  of 
the  tact  by  which  Trevanion  escaped,  leaving  me  to  make  my  adieu 
to  Emily  as  best  I  might;  for  I  saw  in  a  glance  that  I  must  leave 
Paris  at  once.  I  therefore  briefly  gave  her  to  understand  the  affair 
at  the  salon — which  I  suspected  to  be  the  cause  of  the  threatened 
arrest ;  and  was  about  to  profess  my  unaltered  and  unalterable  at- 
tiH.-hMK.-iii,  when  she  suddenly  stopped  me. 

"  No,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  no.  All  is  over  between  us.  We  must  never 
meet  again — never.  We  have  been  both  playing  a  part.  Good-by— 


272  HARRY    LORREQUfiR. 

good-by;  do  not  altogether  forget  me — and  once  more,  Harry,  good- 

What  I  might  have  said,  thought,  or  done,  I  know  not;  but  the 
arrival  of  Mrs.  Bingham's  carriage  at  the  door  left  no  time  for  any- 
thing but  escape.  So  once  more  pressing  her  hand  firmly  to  my  lips, 
I  said — "  au  revoir,  Emily,  aw  rewir,  not  good-by,"  and  rushing 
from  the  room,  regained  my  own,  just  as  Mrs.  Bingham  reached  the 
corridor. 


CHAPTER  XLH. 
MR.  O'LEARY'S  CAPTURE. 

DOES  she  really  care  for  me?  was  my  first  question  to  myself  as  I 
"Jcft  the  room.  Is  this  story  about  pre-engaged  affections  merely  a 

fot-up  thing,  to  try  the  force  of  my  attachment  for  her?  for,  if  not, 
er  conduct  is  most  inexplicable;- and  great  as  my  experience  has 
been  in  such  affairs,  I  avow  myself  out-manuvered.  While  I  thought 
over  this  difficulty,  Trevanion  came  up,  and  in  a  few  words,  informed 
me  more  fully  upon  what  he  had  hinted  at  before.  It  appeared  that 
O'Leary,  much  more  alive  to  the  imperative  necessity  of  avoiding 
detection  by  his  sposa,  than  of  involving  himself  with  the  police,  had 
thrown  out  most  dark  and  mysterious  hints  in  the  hotel  as  to  the 
reason  of  his  residence  at  Paris;  fully  impressed  with  the  idea  that, 
to  be  a  good  Pole,  he  need  only  talk  "  revolution a-ry;"  devote  'o  the 
powers  below,  all  kings,  czars,  and  kaisers ;  weep  over  the  wrongs  of 
his  nation;  wear  rather  seedy  habiliments,  and  smoke  profusely. 
The  latter  were  with  him  easy  conditions,  and  he  so  completely  acted 
the  former  to  the  life,  that  he  had  been  tliat  morning  arrested  in  the 
Tuileries  gardens,  under  several  treasonable  charges — among  others, 
the  conspiracy,  with  some  of  his  compatriots,  to  murder  the  minister 
of  war. 

However  laughable  such  an  accusation  against  poor  O'Leary,  one 
circumstance  rendered  the  matter  anything  but  ludicrous.  Although 
he  must  come  off  free  of  this  grave  offense,  yet  the  salon  transaction 
would  necessarily  now  become  known;  I  should  be  immediately  in - 
rolved,  and  my  departure  from  Paris  prevented. 

"So,"  said  Trevanion,  as  he  briefly  laid  before  me  the  difficulty  of 
Hiy  position,  "  you  may  perceive,  that,  however  strongly  your  affec- 
tions may  be  engaged  in  a  certain  quarter,  it  is  quite  as  well  to  think 
of  leaving  Paris  without  delay.  O'Leary 's  arrest  will  be  followed 
by  yours,  depend  upon  it;  and  once  under  the  surveillance  of  the 
police,  escape  is  impossible. " 

"  But  seriously,  Trevanion,"  said  I,  nettled  at  the  tone  of  raillery 
he  spoke  in,  "  you  must  see  that  there  is  nothing  whatever  in  that 
business.  I  was  merely  taking  my  farewell  of  the  fair  Emily.  Her 
affections  have  been  long  since  engaged,  and  I " 

"  Only  endeavoring  to  support  her  in  her  attachment  to  the  more 
favored  rival.  Is  it  not  so?" 

"  Come,  no  quizzing.  Faith,  I  began  to  feel  very  uncomfortabla 
about  parting  with  her  the  moment  that  I  discovered  that  I  must  d« 

80." 

"  Bo  I  guessed,"  said  Trevanion,  with  a  dry  look,  "  from  the  in- 


HA  IIBY     LORREQUER.  273 

(cresting  scene  I  so  abruptly  trespassed  upon.  But  you  are  right,  a 
little  bit  of  tendresse  is  never  misplaced,  so  long  as  the  object  is  young, 
pretty,  and,  still  more  than  all,  disposed  for  it." 

"  Quite  out;  perfectly  mistaken,  believe  me.  Emily  not  only 
never  cared  for  me,  but  she  has  gone  far  enough  to  tell  me  so." 

"  Then,  from  all  I  know  of  such  matters,"  replied  he,  "  you  were 
both  in  a  very  fair  way  to  repair  that  mistake  on  her  part.  But  hark! 
what  is  this?"  A  tremendous  noise  in  the  street  here  interrupted  our 
colloquy,  and  on  opening  the  window  a  strange  scene  presented  itself 
to  our  eyes.  In  the  middle  of  a  dense  mass  of  moving  rabble,  shout 
ing,  yelling,  and  screaming  with  all  their  might,  were  two  gendarmes 
with  a  prisoner  between  them.  The  unhappy  man  was  followed  by 
a  rather  well-dressed,  middle-aged-looking  woman,  who  appeared  to 
be  desirous  of  bestowing  the  most  coram  publico  endearments  upon  the 
culprit,  who  a  second  glance  showed  us  was  O'Leary. 

"  I  tell  you,  my  dear  madam,  you  are  mistaken,"  said  O'Leary, 
addressing  her  with  great  sternness  of  manner  and  voice. 

"  Mistaken!  never,  never!  How  could  I  ever  be  mistaken  in  that 
dear  voice,  those  lovely  eyes,  that  sweet  little  nose?" 

"  Take  her  away;  she's  deranged,"  said  O'Leary,  to  the  gen- 
darmes. "  Sure,  if  I'm  a  Pole,  that's  enough  of  misfortune." 

"  I'll  follow  him  to  the  end  of  the  earth,  I  will." 

"  I'm  going  to  the  galleys,  God  be  praised,"  said  O'Leary. 

"  To  the  galleys — to  the  guillotine — anywhere,"  responded  she, 
throwing  herself  upon  his  neck,  much  less,  as  it  seemed,  to  his  grati- 
fication, than  that  of  the  mob,  who  laughed  and  shouted  most  up- 
roariously. 

"  Mrs/Ram,  ain't  you  ashamed?" 

"  He  calls  me  by  my  name,"  said  she,  "  and  he  attempts  to  disown 
me.  Ha!  ha!  ha!  ha!"  and  immediately  fell  off  into  a  strong 
paroxysm  of  kicking,  and  pinching,  and  punching  the  by-standers, 
a  malady  well  known  under  the  name  of  hysterics ;  but  being  little 
more  than  a  privileged  mode,  among  certain  ladies,  of  paying  off 
some  scores,  which  it  is  not  thought  decent  to  do  in  their  more  sober 
moments. 

"  Lead  me  away — anywhere — convict  me  of  what  you  like,"  said 
he,  "  but  don't  let  her  follow  me." 

The  gendarmes,  who  little  comprehended  the  nature  of  the  scene 
before  them,  were  not  sorry  to  anticipate  a  renewal  of  it  on  Mrs. 
Ram's  recovery,  and  accordingly  seized  the  opportunity  to  march  on 
with  O'Leary,  who  turned  the  corner  of  the  Rue  Rivoli,  under  a 
shower  of  "  meurtriers  "  and  "  scelerats  "  from  the  mob,  that  fell, 
fortunately,  most  unconsciously  upon  his  ears. 

The  possibility  of  figuring  in  such  a  procession  contributed  much 
to  the  force  of  Trevanion's  reasonings,  and  I  resolved  to  leave  Paris 
at  once. 

"  Promise  me,  then,  to  involve  yourself  in  no  more  scrapes  for  half 
an  hour.  Pack  everything  you  shall  want  with  you,  and,  by  seven 
o'clock,  I  shall  be  here  with  your  passport  and  all  ready  fora  start." 

With  a  beating  brain,  and  in  a  whirlwind  of  conflicting  thoughts. 
I  threw  my  clothes  hither  and  thither  into  my  trunk;  Lady  Jane" and 
Emily  both  flitting  every  instant  before  my  imagination ;  and  fre- 
quently an  irresolution  to  proceed  stopping  all  my  preparations  for 


274  HAKRY  LORREQUE&. 

departure,  I  sat  down  musing  upon  a  chair,  and  half  determined  to 
stay  where  I  was,  coute  gut  couie.  Finally,  the  possibility  of  expos- 
ure in  a  trial  had  its  weight.  I  continued  my  occupation  till  the 
last  coat  was  folded,  and  the  lock  turned,  when  I  seated  myself  oppo- 
site my  luggage,  and  waited  impatiently  for  my  friend's  return. 

CHAPTER  XLIIL 

THE  JOURNEY. 

TREVANION  came  at  last.  He  had  obtained  my  passport,  and 
engaged  a  carriage  to  convey  me  about  eight  miles,  where  I  should 
overtake  the  diligence — such  a  mode  of  traveling  being  judged  more 
likely  to  favor  my  escape,  by  attracting  less  attention  than  posting. 
It  was  past  ten  when  I  left  the  Rue  St.  Honore,  having  shaken  hands 
with  Trevanion  for  the  last  time,  and  charged  him  with  ten  thousand 
soft  messages  for  the  "  friends  "  I  left  behind  me. 

When  I  arrived  in  the  village  of  St.  Jacques,  the  diligence  had  not 
come  up.  To  pass  away  the  tune,  I  ordered  a  little  supper  and  a 
bottle  of  St.  Julien.  Scarcely  had  I  seated  myself  to  my  "  cotelette," 
when  the  rapid  whirl  of  wheels  was  heard  without,  and  a  cab  drew 
up  suddenly  at  the  door.  So  naturally  does  the  fugitive  suspect  pur- 
suit, that  my  immediate  impression  was,  that  I  was  followed.  In 
this  notion  I  was  strengthened  by  the  tones  of  a  cracked,  discordant 
voice,  asking  in  very  peculiar  French  if  the  "  diligence  had  passed?" 
Being  answered  in  the  negative,  he  walked  into  the  room  where  I 
was,  and  speedily,  by  his  appearance,  removed  any  apprehensions  I 
had  felt  as  to  my  safety.  Nothing  could  less  resemble  the  tall  portly 
and  sturdy  bearing  of  a  gendarme,  than  the  diminutive  and  dwarfish 
individual  before  me.  His  height  could  scarcely  have  reached  five 
feet,  of  which  the  head  formed  fully  a  fourth  part;  and  even  this 
was  rendered  in  appearance  still  greater  by  a  mass  of  loosely  floating 
black  hair  that  fell  upon  his  neck  and  shoulders,  and  gave  him  much 
the  air  of  a  "  black  lion  "  on  a  sign-board.  His  black  frock,  fur-col- 
lared and  braided — his  ill-made  boots,  his  meerschaum  projecting 
from  his  breast-pocket,  above  all,  his  unwashed  hands,  and  a  heavy 
gold  ring  upon  his  thumb — all  made  up  an  ensemble  of  evidence  that 
showed  he  could  be  nothing  but  a  German.  His  manner  was  bus- 
tling, impatient,  and  had  it  not  been  ludicrous,  would  certainly  be 
considered  as  insolent  to  every  one  about  him,  for  he  stared  each 
person  abruptly  in  the  face,  and  mumbled  some  broken  expression 
of  his  opinion  of  them  half-aloud  in  German.  His  comments  ran 
on:  "  Bon  sou1,  monsieur,"  to  the  host;  "  Ein  bosewicht,  ganz  sicher  " 
— "  a  scoundrel  without  doubt;"  and  then  added,  still  lower,  "  Rob 
you  here  as  soon  as  look  at  you."  "  Ah,  postilion!  comment  va?" — 
"  much  more  like  a  brigand,  after  all — I  know  which  I'd  take  you 
for."  "  Wer  fluchte  frau  " — "  how  ugly  the  woman  is."  This  compli- 
ment was  intended  for  the  hostess,  who  courtesied  down  to  the  ground 
in  her  ignorance.  At  last,  approaching  me,  he  stopped,  and,  having 
steadily  surveyed  me,  muttered,  "Ein  echter  Englander "— "  a 
thorough  Englishman,  always  eating."  I  could  not  resist  the  temp- 
tation to  assure  him  that  I  was  perfectly  aware  of  his  flattering  im- 
pttssion  in  my  behalf,  though  I  had  speedily  to  regret  my  pre- 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  275 

cipitancy;  for,  less  mindful  of  the  rebuke  than  pleased  at  finding 
some  one  who  understood  German,  lie  drew  his  chair  beside  me,  and 
entered  into  conversation. 

Everyone  has  surely  felt,  some  time  or  other  in  life,  the  insuffer- 
able annoyance  of  having  his  thoughts  and  reflections  interfered  with 
and  broken  in  upon  by  the  vulgar  impertinence  and  egotism  of  some 
"bore,"  who,  mistaking  your  abstraction  for  attention,  and  your 
despair  for  delight,  inflicts  upon  you  his  whole  life  and  adventures, 
when  your  own  immediate  destinies  are  perhaps  vacillating  in  the 
Bcale. 

Such  a  doom  was  now  mine!  Occupied  as  I  was  by  the  hope  of 
the  future,  and  my  fears  lest  any  impediment  to  my  escape  should 
blast  my  prospects  forever,  I  preferred  appearing  to  pay  attention  to 
this  confounded  fellow's  "personal  narrative  "  lest  his  questions, 
turning  on  my  own  affairs,  might  excite  suspicions  as  to  the  reasons 
of  my  journey. 

I  longed  most  ardently  for  the  arrival  of  the  diligence,  trusting 
that,  with  true  German  thrift,  my  friend  might  prefer  the  cheapness 
of  the  "  interieure  "  to  the  magnificence  of  the  "  coupe,"  and  that 
thus  I  should  see  no  more  of  him.  But  in  this  pleasing  hope  I  was 
destined  to  be  disappointed,  for  I  was  scarcely  seated  in  my  place 
when  I  found  him  beside  me.  The  third  occupant  of  this  ' '  privi- 
leged den,"  as  well  as  my  lamp-light  survey  of  him  permitted, 
afforded  nothing  to  build  on  as  a  compensation  for  the  German.  He 
was  a  tall,  lanky,  lantern-jawed  man,  with  a  hook  nose  and  project- 
ing chin;  his  hair,  which  had  only  been  permitted  to  grow  very 
lately,  formed  that  curve  upon  his  forehead  we  see  in  certain  old- 
fashioned  horse-shoe  wigs ;  his  compressed  lip  and  hard  features  gave 
the  expression  of  one  who  had  seen  a  good  deal  of  the  world,  and 
din't  think  better  of  it  in  consequence.  I  observed  that  he  listened 
to  the  few  words  we  spoke  while  getting  in  with  some  attention,  and 
then,  like  a  person  who  did  not  comprehend  the  language,  turned 
his  shoulder  toward  us,  and  soon  fell  asleep.  I  was  now  left  to  the 
"  tender  mercies  "  of  my  talkative  companion,  who  certainly  spared 
me  not.  Notwithtanding  my  vigorous  resolves  to  turn  a  deaf  ear  to 
his  narratives,  I  could  not  avoid  learning  that  he  was  the  director  of 
music  to  some  German  prince — that  he  had  been  to  Paris  to  bring  out 
an  opera,  which  having,  as  he  said,  a  "  succes  pyramidal;"  he  was 
about  to  repeat  in  Strasbourg.  He  further  informed  me  that  a 
depute  from  Alsace  had  obtained  for  him  a  government  permission 
to  travel  with  the  courier;  but  that  he  being  "  social  "  withal,  and 
noways  proud,  preferred  the  democracy  of  the  diligence  to  the  soli- 
tary grandeur  of  the  caldche,  (for  which  heaven  confound  him),  and 
thus  became  my  present  companion. 

Music,  in  all  its  shapes  and  forms,  made  up  the  staple  of  the  little 
man's  talk.  There  was  scarcely  an  opera  or  an  overture  from  Mozart 
to  Donizetti,  that  he  did  not  insist  upon  singing  a  scene  from ;  and 
wound  up  all  by  a  very  pathetic  lamentation  over  English  insensi- 
bility to  music,  which  he  in  great  part  attributed  to  our  having  only 
one  opera,  which  he  kindly  informed  me  was  "  Bob  et  Joan."  How- 
erei  indisposed  to  check  the  current  of  his  loquacity  by  any  effort  of 
mine.  I  could  not  avoid  the  temptation  to  translate  for  him  a  story 


276  HARRY    LORREQUEB. 

which  Sir  Walter  Scott  once  related  to  me,  and  was  so  far  apropo*. 
as  conceiving  my  own  sense  of  the  merits  of  our  national  music,  such 
as  we  have  it,  by  its  associations  with  scenes,  and  persons,  and  places 
we  are  all  familiar  with,  however  unintelligible  to  the  ear  of  a 
Btranger. 

A  young  French  vicomte  was  fortunate  enough  to  obtain  in  mar- 
riage the  hand  of  a  singularly  pretty  Scotch  heiress  of  an  old  family 
and  good  fortune,  who,  amongst  her  other  endowments,  possessed  a 
lar::;o  old-fashioned  house,  in  a  remote  district  of  the  Highlands, 
where  her  ancestors  had  resided  for  centuries.  Thither  the  young 
couple  repaired  to  pass  the  honeymoon;  the  enamored  bridegroom 
jrladly  availing  himself  of  the  opportunity  to  ingratiate  himself  with 
his  new  connection,  by  adopting  the  seclusion  he  saw  practical  by 
the  English  on  such  occasions.  However  consonant  to  our  notions 
of  happiness,  and  however  conducive  to  our  enjoyment  this  custom 
be— and  I  have  strong  doubts  upon  the  subject — it  certainly  pros- 
pered ill  with  the  volatile  Frenchman,  who  pined  for  Paris,  its  cafes, 
its  boulevards,  its  maisons  de  jeu,  and  its  soirees.  His  days  were 
passed  in  looking  from  the  deep  and  narrow  windows  of  some  oak- 
framed  room  upon  the  bare  and  heath-clad  moors,  or  watching  the 
clouds'  shadows  as  they  passed  across  the  dark  pine  trees  that  closed 
the  distance. 

Ennuyee  to  death,  and  convinced  that  he  had  sacrificed  enough 
and  more  than  enough  to  the  barbarism  which  demanded  such  a 
' '  sejour,"  he  was  sitting  one  evening  listlessly  upon  the  terrace  in  front 
of  the  house,  plotting  a  speedy  escape  from  his  gloomy  abode  ancj 
meditating  upon  the  life  of  pleasure  that  awaited  him,  when  the  dis- 
cordant twang  of  some  savage  music  broke  upon  his  ear,  and  roused 
him  from  his  reverie.  The  wild  scream  and  fitful  burst  of  a  High- 
land pibroch  is  certainly  not  the  most  likely  thing  in  nature  to  allay 
the  irritable  and  ruffled  feelings  of  an  irascible  person — unless,  per- 
haps, the  hearer  eschew  breeches.  So  thought  the  vicomte.  He 
started  hurriedly  up,  and  straight  before  him,  upon  the  gravel-walk, 
beheld  the  stalwart  figure  and  bony  frame  of  an  old  Highlander,  blow- 
ing with  all  his  lungs  the  "  Gathering  of  the  Clans."  With  all  the 
speed  he  could  muster,  he  rushed  into  the  house,  and,  calling  his 
servants,  ordered  them  to  expel  the  intruder,  and  drive  him  at  once 
outside  the  demesne.  When  the  mandate  was  made  known  to  the 
old  piper,  it  was  with  the  greatest  difficulty  he  could  be  brought  to 
comprehend  it — for,  time  out  of  mind,  his  approach  had  been  hailed 
with  every  demonstration  of  rejoicing;  and— but  no;  the  thing  was 
impossible — there  must  be  a  mistake  somewhere.  He  was  accordingly 
about  to  recommence,  when  a  second  and  stronger  hint  suggested  to  , 
him  that  it  were  safer  to  depart.  "  Maybe  the  '  carl '  did  na  like  the 
pipes,"  said  the  Highlander  musingly,  as  he  packed  them  up  for  his 
march.  "  Maybe  he  did  na  like  me:  perhaps,  too,  he  was  na  in  the 
good  humor  of  music."  He  paused  for  an  instant  as  if  reflecting— 
not  satisfied,  probably,  that  he  had  hit  upon  the  true  solution — whei 
suddenly  his  eye  brightened,  his  lip  curled,  and,  fixing  a  look  upon 
the  angry  Frenchman,  he  said — "  Maybe  ye  are  right  enow — ye  heard 
them  ower  muckle  at  Waterloo  to  like  the  skirl  o  them  ever  since;" 
with  which  satisfactory  explanation,  made  in  no  spirit  of  bitterness 
or  raillery,  but  in  the  simple  belief  that  lie  had  at  last  hit  the  mark 


HARRY    LORREQUER. 

of  the  vicomte's  antipathy,  the  old  man  gathered  up  his  plaid  and 
departed. 

However  disposed  I  might  have  felt  toward  sleep,  the  little  Ger- 
man resolved  I  should  not  obtain  any,  for  when  for  half  an  hour  to- 
gether I  would -preserve  a  rigid  silence,  he,  nowise  daunted,  had  re- 
course to  some  German  "  lied,"  which  he  gave  forth  with  an  energy 
of  voice  and  manner  that  must  have  aroused  every  sleeper  in  the  dil- 
igence; so  that,  fain  to  avoid  this,  I  did  my  best  to  keep  him  on  the 
subject  of  his  adventures,  which,  as  a  man  of  successful  gallantry, 
were  manifold  indeed.  Wearying  at  last,  even  of  this  subordinate 
part,  I  fell  into  a  kind  of  half  doze.  The  words  of  a  student  song 
he  continued  to  sing  without  ceasing  for  above  an  hour — being  the 
last  waking  thought  on  my  memory. 

Less  as  a  souvenir  of  the  singer  than  a  specimen  of  its  class,  I  give 
fcere  a  rough  translation  of  the  well-known  Bttrschen  melody  called 

THE  POPE, 
i. 

The  Pope  he  leads  a  happy  life, 
He  fears  not  married  care  nor  strife, 
He  drinks  the  best  of  Rhenish  wine — 
I  would  the  Pope's  gay  lot  were  mine. 


He  drinks  the  best  of  Rhenish  wide. 
I  would  the  Pope's  gay  lot  were  mine. 


But  then  all  happy's  not  his  life, 
He  has  not  maid  nor  blooming  wife, 
Nor  child  has  he  to  raise  his  hope — 
I  would  not  wish  to  be  the  Pope. 


The  Sultan  better  pleases  me, 
His  is  a  life  of  jollity; 
His  wives  are  many  as  his  will — 
I  would  the  Sultan's  throne  then  fllL 


But  even  he's  a  wretched  man, 

He  must  obey  his  Alcoran ; 

And  dares  not  drink  one  drop  of  wine — 

I  would  not  change  his  lot  for  mine. 


So,  then,  I'll  hold  my  lowly  stand, 
And  live  in  German'Vaterland; 
I'll  kiss  my  maiden  fair  and  fine. 
And  drink  the  best  of  Rhenish  wine. 


'Whene'er  my  maiden  kisses  me, 
I'll  think  that  I  the  Sultan  be; 
And  when  my  clieerv  glass  I  tope 
I'll  fancy  then  I  am  the  Pope. 


278  HARRY    LORREQUEfc., 


CHAPTER  XLIV. 

THE  JOURNEY. 

IT  was  with  a  feeling  of  pleasure  I  cannot  explain,  that  I  awoke 
in  the  morning,  and  found  myself  upon  the  road.     The  turmoil,  the 
bustle,  the  never-ending  difficulties  of  my  late  life  in  Paris  had  so 
over-excited  and  worried,  me,  that  I  could  neither  think  nor  reflect, 
Now  all  these  cares  and  troubles  were  behind  me,  and  I  felt  like  a 
liberated  prisoner  as  I  looked  upon  the  gray  dawn  of  the  coming  day, 
as  it  gradually  melted  from  its  dull  and  leaden  tint  to  the  pink  aad 
yellow  hue  of  the  rising  sun.     The  broad  and  richly-colored  plains 
of  "  la  belle  France  "  were  before  me — and  it  is  "  la  belle  France," 
however  inferior  to  parts  of    England  in  rural  beauty — the  large 
tracts  of  waving  yellow  corn,  undulating  like  a  sea  in  the  morning 
breeze — the  interminable  reaches  of  forest,  upon  which  the  shadows 
played  and  flitted,  deepening  the  effect  and  mellowing  the  mass,  aa 
we  see  them  in  Ruysdael's  pictures — while  now  and  then  some  tall- 
gabled,  antiquated  chateau,  with  its  mutilated  terrace  and  dowager- 
like  air  of  by-gone  grandeur,  would  peep  forth  at  the  end  of  some 
long  avenue  of  lime  trees,  all  having  their  own  features  of  beauty — 
and  a  beauty  with  which  every  object  around  harmonizes  well.     The 
sluggish  peasant,    in   his   blouse  and  striped  night-cap- -the  heavily 
caparisoned  horse,  shaking  his  head  amidst  a  Babel-tower  of  gaudy 
worsted  tassels  and  brass  bells— the  deeply  laden  wagon,  creeping 
slowly  along — are  all  in  keeping  with  a  scene,  where  the  very  mist 
that  rises  from  the  valley  seems  indolent  and  lazy,  and  unwilling  to 
impart  the  rich  perfume  of  verdure  with  which  it  is  loaded.     Every 
land  has  its  own  peculiar  character  of  beauty.     The  glaciered  mount- 
ain, the  Alpine  peak,  the  dashing  cataract  of  Switzerland  and  the 
Tyrol,  are  not  finer  in  their  way  than  the  long  flat  moorlands  of  a 
Flemish  landscape,  with  its  clump  of  stunted  willows  clustering  over 
some  limpid  brook,  in  which  the  oxen  are  standing  for  shelter  from 
the  noon-day  heat — while  lower  down,  some  rude  water-wheel  is 
mingling  its  sounds  with  the  summer  bees  and  the  merry  voices  of 
the  miller  and  his  companions.     So  strayed  my  thoughts  as  the  Ger- 
man shook  me  by  the  arm,  and  asked  if  "  I  were  not  ready  for  my 
breakfast?"    Luckily,  to  this  question  there  is  rarely  but  the  one  an- 
swer.    Who  is  not  ready  for  his  breakfast  when  on  the  road?    How 
delightful,  if  on  the  continent,  to  escape  from  the  narrow  limits  of 
the  dungeon-like  diligence,  where  you  sit  with  your  knees  next  your 
collar-bone,  fainting  with  heat  and  suffocated  by  dust,   and  find 
yourself  suddenly  beside  the  tempting  "plats"  of  a  little  French 
dejeuner,  with  its  cutlets,  its  fried  fish,  its  poulet,  its  salad,  and  its 
little  entree  of  fruit,  tempered  with  a  not  despicable  bottle  of  Beaume. 
I  in  England,  the  exchange  is  nearly  as  grateful —for  though  our 
traveling  be  better,  and  our  equipages  less  "  genante,"  still  it  is  no 
small  alterative  from  the  stage-coach  to  the  inn  parlor,  redolent  of 
aromatic  black  tea,  eggs,  and  hot  toast,  with  a  hospitable  sideboard 
of  red,  raw  sirloins  and  York  hams,  that  would  make  a  Jew's  mouth 
•water.    While  in  America,  the  change  is  greatest  of  all,  as  any  ono 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  279 

can  vouch  for  who  has  been  suddenly  emancipated  from  the  stove- 
heat  of  a  "  nine  inside  "  leathern  "  convenieney, "  bumping  ten 
miles  an  hour  over  a  corduroy  road,  the  company  smoking,  if  not 
worse;  to  the  ample  display  of  luxurious  viands  displayed  upon  the 
breakfast-table,  where,  what  with  buffalo  steaks,  pumpkin  pie,  gin 
cock-tail,  and  other  aristocratically  called  temptations,  he  must  be 
indeed  fastidious  who  cannot  employ  his  half  hour.  Pity  it  is, 
when  there  is  so  much  good  to  eat  that  people  will  not  partake  of  it 
like  civilized  beings,  and  with  that  air  of  cheerful  thankfulness  that 
all  other  nations  more  or  less  express  when  enjoying  the  earth's 
bounties.  But  true  it  is,  that  there  is  a  spirit  of  discontent  in  the 
Yankee  that  seems  to  accept  of  benefits  with  a  tone  of  dissatisfaction, 
if  not  distrust.  I  once  made  this  remark  to  an  excellent  friend  of 
mine,  now  no  more,  who,  however,  would  not  permit  of  my  attrib- 
xiting  this  feature  to  the  Americans  exclusively,  adding,  "  Where 
have  you  more  of  this  than  in  Ireland?  and  surely  you  would  not  call 
the  Irish  ungrateful?"  He  illustrated  his  first  remark  by  the  follow- 
ing short  anecdote: 

The  rector  of  the  parish  my  friend  lived  in,  was  a  man  who  added 
to  the  income  he  derived  from  his  living,  a  very  handsome  private 
fortune,  which  he  devoted  entirely  to  the  benefit  of  the  poor  around 
him.  Among  the  objects  of  his  bounty,  one  old  woman,  a  childless 
widow,  was  remarkably  distinguished.  Whether  commiserating  her 
utter  helplessness  or  her  complete  isolation  he  went  further  to  relieve 
her  than  to  many,  if  not  all,  the  other  poor.  She  frequently  was  in 
the  habit  of  pleading  her  poverty  as  a  reason  for  not  appearing  in 
church  among  her  neighbors :  and  he  gladly  seized  an  opportunity  of 
so  improving  her  condition,  that  on  this  score  at  least  no  impediment 
existed.  When  all  his  little  plans  for  her  comfort  had  been  carried 
into  execution,  he  took  the  opportunity  one  day  of  dropping  in,  as 
if  accidentally,  to  speak  to  her.  By  degrees  he  led  her  to  the  subject 
of  her  changed  condition  in  life — the  alteration  from  a  cold,  damp, 
smoky  hovel,  to  a  warm,  clean,  slated  house — the  cheerful  garden 
before  the  door,  that  replaced  the  mud-heap  and  the  duck-pool— and 
all  the  other  happy  changes  which  a  few  weeks  had  effected.  And 
he  then  asked,  did  she  not  feel  grateful  to  a  bountiful  Providence 
that  had  showered  down  so  many  blessings  upon  her  head? 

"  Ah,  troth,  it's  thrue  for  yer  honor,  I  am  grateful,"  she  replied, 
in  a  whining,  discordant  tone,  which  astonished  the  worthy  parson. 

"  Of  course  you  are,  my  good  woman,  of  course  you  are — but  I 
mean  to  say — don't  von  feel  that  every  moment  you  live  is  too  short 
to  express  your  thankfulness  to  this  kind  Providence  for  what  he 
has  done?" 

"  Ah,  darlin',  it's  all  thrue,  he's  very  good,  he's  mighty  kind,  s<» 
he  is." 

"  Why,  then,  not  acknowledge  it  in  a  different  manner?"  said  the 
parson,  with  some  heat — "  has  he  not  housed  you,  and  fed  you,  and 
clothed  you?" 

"  Yes,  alanah,  he  done  it  all." 

"  Well,  where  is  your  gratitude  for  all  these  mercies?" 

"  Ah,  sure  if  he  did,"  said  the  old  crone,  roused  at  length  by  the 
importunity  of  the  questioner — "  sure  if  he  did,  doesn't  lie  take  it  out 
q  me  in  the  corns  f" 


280 


HARRY    LOKIIEQUEE. 


CHAPTER  XLv". 

A  REMINISCENCE  OF  THE  EAST. 

THE  breakfast-table  assembled  around  it  the  three  generations  of 
men  who  issued  from  the  three  subdivisions  of  the  dili°-ence  and 
presented  that  motley  and  mixed  assemblage  of  ranks  ages  '  and 
countries,  which  forms  so  very  amusing  a  part  of  a  traveler's  experi- 
ence. 

First .came  the  "  haute  aristocratic"  of  the  coupe,  then  the  middle 
class  of  the  interieure,  and  lastly,  the  tiers  etat  of  the  rotonde  with 
its  melange  of  Jew  money-lenders,  under-officers  and  their  wires  a 
JNorman  nurse  with  a  high  cap  and  a  red  jupe;  while,  to  close  the 
procession,  a  German  student  descended  from  the  roof  with  a  beard 
a  blouse,  and  a  meerschaum.  Of  such  materials  was  our  party  made 
up:  and  yet,  differing  in  all  our  objects  and  interests,  we  speedily 
amalgamated  into  a  very  social  state  of  intimacy,  and  chatted  away 
over  our  breakfast  with  much  good  humor  and  gayety.  Each  person 
the  number  seeming  pleased  at  the  momentary  opportunity  of 
idmg  a  new  listener,  save  my  tall  companion  of  the  coupe    ~  lie 
•reserved  a  dogged  silence,  unbroken  by  even  a  chance  expression  to 
te  waiter,  who  observed  his  wants,. and  supplied  them  by  a  species 
ol  quick  instinct,  evidently  acquired  by  practice.      As  I  could  not 
help  feeling  somewhat  interested  about  the  hermit-like  attachment  he 
evinced  for  solitude,  I  watched  him  narrowly  for  some  time  and  at 
length,  as  the  "  roti"  made  its  appearance  before  him,  after' he  had 
Helped  himself  and  tasted  it,  he  caught  my  eye  fixed  upon  him  and 
looking  at  me  intently  for  a  few  seconds,  he  seemed  to  be  satisfied  in 
some  passing  doubt  he  labored  under,  as  he  said,  with  a  most  pecul- 
iar shake  of  the  head,  "  No  mangcz,  no  maneez,  cela." 

"  Ah,"  said  I,  detecting  in  my  friend's  French  his  English  orioin 
"you  are  an  Englishman,  I  find." 

The  devil  a  doubt  of  it,  darlin',"  said  he,  half  testily. 
"  An  Irishman,  too— still  better,"  said  I. 

'^Wh:y'  lhen>  isn't  jt  strange  that  my  French  always  shows  me  to 
English,  and  my  English  proves  me  Irish?     It's  lucky  for  me 
there  s  no  going  further,  anyhow." 

Delighted  to  have  thus  fallen  upon  a  "  character, "  as  the  Irish- 
lan  evidently  appeared,  I  moved  my  chair  toward  his;  and  findino- 
i.owfver,  he  was  not  half  pleased  at  the  manner  in  which  mv  ac- 
quamtance  had  been  made  with  him,  and  knowing  his  country's 
susceptibility  of  being-  taken  by  a  story,  I  resolved  to  make  my  ad- 
vances by  narrating  a  circumstance  which  had  once  befallen  me  in 
tny  early  life. 

Our  countrymen,  English  and  Irish,  travel  so  muck  nowadays 
.hat  one  ought  never  to  feel  surprised  at  finding  them  anywhere' 
Ihe  instance  I  am  about  to  relate  will  verify,  to  a  certain  extent  the 

•/,'•  y,  owmg  that  no  situation  is  too  odd  or  too  unlikely  to  be 
within  the  verge  of  calculation. 

When  the  10th  foot,  to  which  I  then  belonged,  were  at  Corfu,  I 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  281 

obtained  with  three  other  officers,  a  short  leave  of  absence,  to  make  a 
hurried  tour  of  the  Morca,  and  take  a  passing  glance  at  Constantino- 
ple— in  those  days  much  less  frequently  visited  by  travelers  than  at 
present. 

After  rambling  pleasantly  about  for  some  weeks,  we  were  about  to 
return,  when  we  determined  that  before  sailing  we  should  accept  an 
invitation  some  officers  of  the  "  Dwarf  "  frigate,  then  stationed 
there,  had  given  us,  to  pass  a  day  at  Pera,  and  picnic  in  the  mount- 
ain. 

One  fine,  bright  morning  was  therefore  selected — a  most  appetiz- 
ing little  dinner  being  carefully  packed  up — we  set  out,  a  party  of 
fourteen,  upon  our  excursion. 

The  weather  was  glorious,  and  the  scene  far  finer  than  any  of  us 
had  anticipated — the  view  from  the  mountain  extending  over  the 
entire  city,  gorgeous  in  the  rich  coloring  of  its  domes  and  minarets; 
while,  at  one  side,  the  golden  horn  was  visible,  crowded  with  ships 
of  every  nation,  and,  at  the  other,  a  glimpse  might  be  had  of  the  sea 
of  Marmora,  blue  and  tranquil  as  it  lay  beneath.  The  broad  bosom 
of  the  Bosphorus  was  sheeted  out  like  a  map  before  us — peaceful, 
yet  bustling  with  life  and  animation.  Here  lay  the  union-jack  of 
old  England,  floating  beside  the  lilies  of  France — we  speak  of  times 
when  lilies  were  and  barricades  were  not — the  tall  and  taper  spars  of 
a  Yankee  frigate  towering  above  the  low  timbers  and  heavy  hull  of 
a  Dutch  schooner — the  gilded  poop  and  curved  galleries  of  a  Turk- 
ish three-decker,  anchored  beside  the  raking  mast  and  curved  deck 
of  a  suspicious-looking  craft,  \vhose  red-capped  and  dark-visaged 
crew  needed  not  the  naked  creese  at  their  sides  to  bespeak  them 
Malays.  The  whole  was  redolent  of  life,  and  teeming  with  food  for 
one's  fancy  to  conjure  from. 

While  we  were  debating  upon  the  choice  of  a  spot  for  our  lunch- 
eon, which  should  command  the  chief  points  of  view  within  our 
reach,  one  of  the  party  came  to  inform  us  that  he  had  just  discov- 
ered the  very  thing  we  were  in  search  of.  It  was  a  small  kiosk, 
built  upon  a  projecting  rock  that  looked  down  upon  the  Bosphorus 
and  the  city,  and  had  evidently,  from  the  extended  views  it  presented, 
been  selected  as  the  spot  to  build  upon.  The  building  itself  was  a 
small  octagon,  open  on  every  side,  and  presenting  a  series  of  pros- 
pects, land  and  seaward,  of  the  most  varied  and  magnificent  kind. 

Seeing  no  one  near,  nor  any  trace  of  habitation,  we  resolved  to 
avail  ourselves  of  the  good  taste  of  the  founder;  and  spreading  out  of 
the  contents  of  our  hampers,  proceeded  to  discuss  a  most  excellent 
cold  dinner.  When  the  good  things  had  disappeared,  and  the  wine 
began  to  circulate,  one  of  the  party  observed  that  we  should  not  think 
of  enjoying  ourselves  before  we  had  filled  a  bumper  to  the  brim,  to 
the  health  of  our  good  king,  whose  birthday  it  chanced  to  be.  Our 
homeward  thoughts  and  loyalty  uniting,  we  filled  our  glasses,  and 
gave  so  hearty  a  "  hip,  hip,  hurrah,"  to  our  toast,  that  I  doubt  if 
the  echoes  of  those  old  rocks  ever  heard  the  equal  of  it. 

Scarcely  was  the  last  cheer  dying  away  in  the  distance,  when  the 
door  of  the  kiosk  opened,  and  a  negro,  dressed  in  white  muslin,  ap- 
peared, his  arms  and  ankles  bearing  those  huge  rings  of  massive  gold 
which  only  persons  of  rank  distinguish  their  servants  by. 

After  a  most  profound  obeisance  to  the  party  he  explained,  in  very 


282  HARRY    LOItREQUER. 

tolerable  French,  that  his  master,  the  Effendi,  Ben  Mustapha  AI 
Ilalak,  at  whose  charge  (in  house  rent)  we  were  then  feasting, 
sent  us  greeting,  and  begged  that,  if  not  considered  as  contrary  to 
our  usages,  tfcc. ,  we  should  permit  him  and  his  suite  to  approach  the 
kiosk  and  observe  us  at  our  meal. 

Independent  of  his  politeness  in  the  mode  of  conveying  the  request, 
as  he  would  prove  fully  as  entertaining  a  sight  to  us  as  we  could  pos- 
sibly be  to  him,  we  immediately  expressed  our  great  willingness  to 
receive  his  visit,  coupled  with  a  half  hint  that  perhaps  he  might  honor 
us  by  joining  the  party. 

After  a  half  hour's  delay,  the  door  was  once  more  thrown  open, 
and  a  venerable  old  Turk  entered ;  he  salamed  three  times  most 
reverently,  and  motioned  to  us  to  be  seated,  declining  at  the  same 
time,  by  a  gentle  gesture  of  his  hand,  our  invitation.  He  was  fol- 
lowed by  a  train  of  six  persons,  all  splendidly  attired,  and  attesting, 
by  their  costume  and  manner,  the  rank  and  importance  of  their  chief. 
Conceiving  that  his  visit  had  but  one  object — to  observe  our  convivial 
customs — we  immediately  reseated  ourselves,  and  filled  our  glasses. 

As  one  after  another  of  the  officers  of  the  effendi's  household 
passed  round  the  apartments,  we  offered  them  a  goblet  of  cham- 
pagne, which  they  severally  declined,  with  a  polite  but  solemn  smile 
— all  except  one,  a  large,  savage-looking  Turk,  with  a  most  ferocious 
scowl,  and  the  largest  black  beard  I  ever  beheld.  He  did  not  con- 
tent himself  with  a  mute  refusal  of  our  offer,  but  stopping  suddenly, 
he  raised  up  his  hands  above  his  head,  and  muttered  some  words  in 
Turkish,  which  one  of  the  party  informed  us  was  a  very  satisfactory 
recommendation  of  the  whole  company  to  Satau  for  their  heretic 
abomination. 

The  procession  moved  slowly  round  the  room,  and  when  it  reached 
the  door  again  retired,  each  member  of  it  salaming  three  times  as 
they  had  done  on  entering.  Scarcely  had  they  gone,  when  we  burst 
into  a  loud  fit  of  laughter  at  the  savage-looking  fellow  who  thought 
proper  to  excommunicate  us,  and  were  about  to  discuss  his  more  than 
common  appearance  of  disgust  at  our  proceedings,  when  again  the 
door  opened,  and  a  turbaned  head  peeped  in,  but  so  altered  were  the 
features,  that  although  seen  but  the  moment  before,  we  could  hardly 
believe  them  the  same.  The  dark  complexion — the  long  and  bushy 
beard  were  there — but  instead  of  the  sleepy  and  solemn  character  of 
the  oriental,  with  heavy  eye  and  closed  lip,  there  was  a  droll,  half 
devilry  in  the  look,  and  partly  opened  mouth,  that  made  a  most  laugh- 
able contrast  with  the  head-dress.  He  looked  stealthily  around  him 
for  an  instant,  as  if  to  see  that  all  was  right,  and  then,  with  an  accent 
and  expression  I  shall  never  forget,  said,  "  Til  taste  your  wine,  gen- 
tlemen, avit  be  pleasing  to  ye." 


CHAPTER  XLVL 

A  DAT  IN  THE  PHENIX. 

WHEN  we  were  once  more  in  the  coupe  of  the  diligence,  I  directed 
my  entire  attention  toward  my  Irish  acquaintance,  as  well  because  of 
his  apparent  singularity,  as  to  avoid,  the  little  German  in  the  oppo- 
site cprner. 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  283 

"  You  have  not  been  long  in  France,  then,  sir,"  said  I,  as  we  re- 
sumed our  conversation. 

"  Three  weeks,  and  it  seems  like  three  years  to  me — nothing;  to  eat 
— nothing  to  drink — and  nobody  to  speak  to.  But  I'll  go  back  soou 
— I  only  came  abroad  for  a  month." 

"  You'll  scarcely  see  much  of  the  Continent  in  so  short  a  time." 

"  Devil  a  much  that  will  grieve  me — I  didn't  come  to  see  it." 

"  Indeed!" 

"  Nothing  of  the  kind;  I  only  came  to  be  away  from  home." 

"Oh!  I  perceive." 

"  You're  quite  out  there,"  said  my  companion,  misinterpreting 
my  meaning.  "It  wasn't  anything  of  that  kind.  1  don't  owe  six- 
pence. I  was  laughed  out  of  Ireland— that's  all,  though  that  same  is 
bad  enough." 

"  Laughed  out  of  it!" 

"  Just  so — and  little  do  you  know  of  Ireland  if  that  surprises 
you." 

After  acknowledging  that  such  an  event  was  perfectly  possible, 
from  what  I  myself  had  seen  of  that  country,  I  obtained  the  follow- 
ing very  brief  account  of  my  companion's  reasons  for  foreign  travel. 

"  Well,  sir,"  began  he,  "  it  is  about  four  montlis  since  I  brought 
up  to  Dublin  from  Galway  a  little  chestnut  mare,  with  cropped  ears, 
and  a  short  tail,  square- jointed,  and  rather  low — just  what  you'd  call 
a  smart  hack  for  going  to  cover  with — a  lively  thing  on  the 
road  with  a  light  weight.  Nobody  ever  suspected  that  she  was  a 
clean  bred  thing — own  sister  to  Jenny,  that  won  the  Corin- 
thians, and  ran  second  to  Giles  for  the  Riddlesworth — but  so  she  was, 
and  a  better  bred  mare  never  leaped  the  pound  in  Ballinasloe.  Well, 
I  brought  her  to  Dublin,  and  used  to  ride  her  out  two  or  three  times 
a  week,  making  little  matches,  sometimes  to  trot— and  for  a  thor- 
oughbred, she  was  a  clipper  at  trotting — to  trot  a  mile  or  so  on  the 
grass— another  day  to  gallop  the  length  of  the  nine  acres  opposite 
the  lodge — and  then  sometimes  back  her  for  a  ten-pound  note,  to 
jump  the  biggest  furze  bush  that  could  be  found — all  of  which  she 
could  do  with  ease,  nobody  thinking,  all  the  while,  that  the  cock- 
tailed  pony  was  out  of  Scroggins,  by  a  '  Lamplighter  mare. '  As 
every  fellow  that  was  beat  to-day  was  sure  to  come  back  to-morrow, 
with  something  better,  either  of  his  own  or  a  friend's,  I  had  matches 
booked  for  every  day  in  the  week — for  I  always  made  my  little  boy 
that  rode  win  by  half  a  neck  or  a  nostril,  and  so  we  kept  on  day  after 
day  pocketing  from  ten  to  thirty  pounds,  or  thereabouts. 

"  It  was  mighty  pleasant  while  it  lasted,  for  besides  winning  the 
money,  I  had  my  own  fun  laughing  at  the  spoonies  that  never  could 
book  my  bets  fast  enough.  Young  infantry  officers  and  the  junior 
bar — they  were  for  the  most  part  mighty  nice  to  look  at,  but  very 
raw  about  racing.  How  long  I  might  have  gone  on  in  this  way  I 
cannot  say;  but  one  morning  I  fell  in  with  a  fat  elderly  gentle- 
man, in  shorts  and  gaiters,  mounted  on  a  dun  cob  pony,  that  was 
very  fidgety  and  hot-tempered  and  appeared  to  give  the  rider  a  great 
deal  of  uneasiness. 

"  '  He's  a  spicy  hack  you're  on,  sir,'  said  I,  '  and  has  a  go  in  him, 
I'll  be  bound.' 

"  '  I  rayther  think  he  has,'  said  the  old  gentleman  half  testily. 


284  HARRY     LORREQUEH. 

"  '  And  can  trot  a  bit,  too?' 

"  '  Twelve  Irish  miles  in  fifty  minutes,  with  my  weight.'  Hera 
he  look  down  at  a  paunch  like  a  sugar  hogshead. 

"  '  Maybe  he's  not  bad  across  a  country,'  said  I,  rather  to  humor 
the  old  fellow,  who,  I  saw,  was  proud  of  his  pony. 

' '  I'd  like  to  see  his  match,  that's  all.'    Here  he  gave  a  rather 
contemptuous  glance  at  my  hack. 

"  Well,  one  word  led  to  another,  and  it  ended  at  last  in  our  book- 
ing a  match,  with  which  one  party  was  no  less  pleased  than  the 
other.  It  was  this:  each  was  to  ride  his  own  horse,  starting  from 
the  school  in  the  Park  round  the  Fifteen  Acres,  outside  the  Monu- 
ment, and  back  to  the  start — just  one  heat,  about  a  mile  and  a  half 
— the  ground  good,  and  only  soft  enough.  In  consideration,  how- 
ever, of  his  greater  weight,  I  was  to  give  odds  in  the  start ;  and  as 
we  could  not  well  agree  on  how  much,  it  was  at  length  decided  that 
he  was  to  get  away  first,  and  I  to  follow  as  fast  as  I  could,  after 
drinking  a  pewter  quart  full  of  Guinness's  double  stout — droll  odds, 
you'll  say,  but  it  was  the  old  fellow's  own  thought,  and  as  the  match 
was  a  soft  one,  I  let  him  have  his  way. 

"  The  next  morning  the  Phenix  was  crowded  as  if  for  a  review. 
There  were  all  the  Dublin  notorieties  swarming  in  barouches,  and 
tilburies,  and  outside  jaunting-cars — smart  clerks  in  the  post-oflice, 
mounted  upon  kicking  devils  from  Dycer's  and  Lalouette's  stables 
— attorneys'  wives  and  daughters  from  York  street,  and  a  stray  doc- 
tor or  so  on  a  hack  that  looked  as  if  it  had  been  lectured  on  for  the 
six  winter  months  at  the  College  of  Surgeons.  My  antagonist  was 
half  an  hour  late,  which  time  I  occupied  in  booking  bets  on  eveiy 
side  of  me,  offering  odds  of  ten,  fifteen,  and  at  last,  to  tempt  the  peo- 
ple, twenty-five  to  one  against  the  dun.  At  last,  the  fat  gentleman 
came  up  on  a  jaunting-car,  followed  by  a  groom  leading  the  cob.  I 
wish  you  heard  the  cheer  tha^  greeted  him  on  his  arrival,  for  it  ap- 
peared he  was  a  well-known  character  in  town,  and  much  in  favor 
with  the  mob.  When  he  got  off  the  car,  he  bundled  into  a  tent, 
followed  by  a  few  of  his  friends,  where  they  remained  for  about  five 
minutes,  at  the  end  of  which  he  came  out  in  full  racing  costume — 
blue  and  yellow  striped  jacket,  blue  cap  and  leathers —looking  as 
funny  a  figure  as  ever  you  set  eyes  upon.  I  now  thought  it  time  to 
throw  off  my  white  surtout,  and  show  out  in  pink  and  orange,  the 
colors  I  had  been  winning  in  for  two  months  past.  While  some  of 
the  party  were  sent  on  to  station  themselves  at  different  places  round 
the  Fifteen  Acres,  to  mark  out  the  course,  my  fat  friend  was  assisted 
into  his  saddle,  and  gave  a  short  preliminary  gallop  of  a  huiidivil 
yards  or  so,  that  set  us  all  a-laughing.  The  odds  were  now  fifty  to 
one  in  my  favor,  and  I  gave  them  wherever  I  could  find  takers. 
'  With  you,  sir,  if  you  please,  in  pounds,  and  the  gentleman  in  the 
red  whiskers,  too,  if  he  likes;  very  well,  in  half  sovereigns,  if  you 
prefer  it.'  So  I  went  on,  betting  on  every  side,  till  the  bell  rung  to 
mount.  As  I  knew  I  had  plenty  of  time  to  spare,  I  took  little  notice, 
and  merely  giving  a  look  to  my  girths,  I  continued  leisurely  book- 
ing my  b«ts.  At  last  the  time  came,  and  at  the  word  '  Away!'  off 
went  the  fat  gentleman  ou  the  dun,  at  a  spluttering  gallop,  that  flung 
the  mud  on  every  side  of  us,  and  once  more  threw  us  all  a-laughing. 
I  waited  patiently  till  he  got  near  the  upper  end  of  the  park  taking 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  285 

bets  every  minute ;  and  now  that  he  was  away,  every  one  offered  to 
wager.  At  last,  when  I  had  let  him  get  nearly  half  round,  and  found 
no  more  money  could  be  had,  I  called  out  to  his  friends  for  the  por- 
ter, and,  throwing  myself  into  the  saddle,  gathered  up  the  reins  in 
my  hand.  The  crowd  fell  back  on  each  side,  while  from  the  tent  I 
have  already  mentioned  out  came  a  thin  fellow  with  one  eye,  with  a 
pewter  quart  in  his  hand;  he  lifted  it  up  toward  me,  and  I  took  it; 
but  what  was  my  fright  to  find  that  the  porter  was  boiling,  and  the 
vessel  so  hot  I  could  barely  hold  it.  I  endeavored  to  drink,  how- 
ever. The  first  mouthful  took  all  the  skin  off  my  lips  and  tongue — 
the  second  half  choked,  and  the  third  nearly  threw  me  into  an 
apoplectic  fit — the  mob  cheering  all  the  time  like  devils.  Meantime, 
the  old  fellow  had  reached  the  furze,  and  was  going  along  like  fun. 
Again  I  tried  the  porter,  and  a  fit  of  coughing  came  on  that  lasted 
five  minutes.  The  pewter  was  now  so  hot  that  the  edge  of  the  quart 
took  away  a  piece  of  my  mouth  at  every  effort.  I  ventured  once 
more,  and  with  the  desperation  of  a  madman  I  threw  down  the  hot 
liquid  to  its  last  drop.  My  head  reeled— my  eyes  glared— and  my 
brain  was  on  fire.  I  thought  I  beheld  fifty  fat  gentlemen  galloping 
on  every  side  of  me,  and  all  the  sky  raining  jackets  in  blue  and  yel- 
low. Half  mechanically  I  took  the  reins,  and  put  spurs  to  my  horse; 
but  before  I  got  well  away,  a  loud  cheer  from  the  crowd  assailed  me. 
I  turned,  and  saw  the  dun  coming  in  at  a  floundering  gallop,  covered 
with  foam,  and  so  dead  blown  that  neither  himself  nor  the  rider 
could  have  got  twenty  yards  further.  The  race  was,  however  won. 
My  odds  were  lost  to  every  man  on  the  field  and,  worse  than  all,  I 
was  so  laughed  at,  that  I  could  not  venture  out  in  the  streets,  with- 
out hearing  allusions  to  my  misfortunes;  for  a  certain  friend  of  mine, 
one  Tom  O'Flaherty " 

"  Tom  of  the  llth  light  dragoons?" 

"  The  same— you  know  Tom,  then?  Maybe  you  have  heard  him 
mention  me — Maurice  Malone?" 

"  Not  Mr.  Malone,  of  Fort  Peak?" 

"  Bad  luck  to  him.  I  am  as  well  known  in  connection  with  Fort 
Peak,  as  the  Duke  is  with  Waterloo.  There  is  not  a  part  of  the 
globe  where  he  has  not  told  that  confounded  story." 

As  my  readers  may  not  possibly  be  all  numbered  in  Mr.  O 'Flaherty's 
acquaintance,  I  shall  venture  to  give  the  anecdote  which  Mr.  Malone 
accounted  to  be  so  widely  circulated. 


CHAPTER  XLVH. 

AN  ADVENTURE  IN   CANADA. 

TOWAKD  the  close  of  the  last  War  with  America,  a  small  detach- 
ment of  mil itary  occupied  the  little  block-house  of  Fort  Peak,  which, 
about  el"-) it  miles  from  the  Falls  of  Niagara,  formed  the  last  outpost 
on  the  frontier.  The  Fort,  in  itself  inconsiderable,  was  only  of  im- 
portance as  commanding  a  part  of  the  river  where  it  was  practicable 
to  ford,  and  where  the  easy  ascent  of  the  bank  offered  a  safe  situation, 
for  the  enemy  to  cross  over,  whenever  they  felt  disposed  to  carry  the 
war  into  our  territory. 


286  HARRY    LORREQCER. 

There  having  been,  however,  no  threat  of  invasion  in  this  quarter, 
and  the  natural  strength  of  the  position  being  considerable,  a  mere 
handful  of  men,  with  two  subaltern  officers,  were  allotted  for  this 
duty — such  being  conceived  ample  to  maintain  it  till  the  arrival  of 
succor  from  headquarters,  then  at  Little  York,  on  the  opposite  side 
of  the  lake.  The  officers  of  this  party  were  our  old  acquaintance, 
Tom  O 'Flaherty,  and  our  newly-made  one,  Maurice  Malone. 

Whatever  may  be  the  merits  of  commanding  officers,  one  virtue 
they  certainly  can  lay  small  claim  to — viz.,  any  insight  into  char- 
acter, or  at  least  any  regard  for  the  knowledge.  Seldom  are  two 
men  sent  off  on  detachment  duty  to  some  remote  quarter,  to  associate 
daily  and  hourly  for  months  together,  that  they  are  not,  by  some 
happy  chance,  the  very  people,  who  never,  as  the  phrase  is,  "  took 
to  each  other  "  in  their  lives.  The  gray -headed,  weather-beaten,  dis- 
appointed "  Peninsular  "  is  coupled  with  the  essenced  and  dandified 
Adonis  of  the  corps;  the  man  of  literary  tastes  and  cultivated  pur 
suits,  with  the  empty-headed,  ill-informed  youth,  fresh  from  Harrow 
or  Westminster.  This  case  offered  no  exception  to  the  rule;  for 
though  there  were  few  men  possessed  of  more  assimilating  powers 
than  O 'Flaherty,  yet  certainly  his  companion  did  put  the  faculty  to 
the  test,  for  anything  more  unlike  him  there  never  existed.  Tom, 
all  good  humor  and  high  spirits — making  the  best  of  everything — 
never  nonplussed — never  taken  aback;  perfectly  at  home  whether 
flirting  with  a  Lady  Charlotte  in  her  dVawing-room,  or  crossing  a 
grouse  mountain  in  the  highlands;  sufficiently  well  read  to  talk  on 
any  ordinary  topic — and  always  ready-witted  enough  to  seem  more 
so.  A  thorough  sportsman,  whether  showing  forth  in  the  "  park  " 
at  Melton,  whipping  a  trout-stream  in  Wales,  or  filling  a  country- 
house  with  black,  cock  and  moor-fowl,  an  unexceptionable  judge  of 
all  the  good  things  in  life,  from  a  pretty  ankle  to  a  well-hung  tilbury 
— from  the  odds  at  hazard  to  the  "  Comet  vintage."  Such,  in  brief, 
was  Tom.  Now  his  confrere  was  none  of  these;  he  had  been  drafted 
from  the  Galway  militia  to  the  line,  for  some  election  services  ren- 
dered by  his  family  to  the  government  candidate;  was  of  a  saturnine 
and  discontented  habit;  always  miserable  about  some  trifle  or  other, 
and  never  at  rest  till  he  had  drowned  his  spirits  hi  Jamaica  rum — 
which,  since  the  regiment  was  abroad,  he  had  -copiously  used  as  a 
substitute  for  whisky.  To  such  an  extent  had  this  passion  gained 
upon  him,  that  a  corporal's  guard  was  always  in  attendance  when- 
ever he  dined  out,  to  convey  him  home  to  the  barracks. 

The  wearisome  monotony  of  a  close  garrison,  with  so  ungenial  a 
companion,  would  have  damped  any  man's  spirits  but  O'Flaherty's. 
Pie,  however,  upon  this,  as  other  occasions  in  life,  rallied  himself  to 
make  the  best  of  it;  and  by  short  excursions  within  certain  prescribed 
limits  along  the  river  side,  contrived  to  shoot  and  fish  enough  to  get 
through  the  day,  and  improve  the  meager  fare  of  his  mess-table. 
Malone  never  appeared  before  dinner — his  late  sittings  at  night  re- 
quiring all  the  following  day  to  recruit  him  for  a  new  attack  upon 
the  rum-bottle. 

Xow,  although  his  seeing  so  little  of  his  brother  officer  was  any- 
thing but  unpleasant  to  O'Flaberty,  yet  the  ennui  of  such  a  life  was 
gradually  wearing  him,  and  all  his  wits  were  put  in  requisition  to 
furnish  occupation  for  his  tune.  Never  a  day  passed  without  lu» 


i-    LORREQUEK. 

praying  ardently  for  an  attack  from  the  enemy;  any  alternative,  any 
reverse,  had  been  a  blessing  compared  with  his  present  life.  No 
such  spirit,  however,  seemed  to  animate  the  Yankee  troops;  not  a 
soldier  was  to  be  seen  for  miles  around,  and  every  straggler  that 
passed  the  Fort  concurred  in  saying  that  the  Americans  were  not 
within  four  days'  march  of  the  frontier. 

Weeks  passed  over,  and  the  same  state  of  things  remaining  un- 
changed, O'Flaherty  gradually  relaxed  some  of  his  strictness  as  to 
duty;  small  foraging  parties  of  three  and  four  being  daily  permitted 
to  leave  the  Fort  a  few  hours,  to  which  they  usually  returned  laden 
with  wild  turkeys  and  fish — both  being  found  in  great  abundance 
near  them. 

Such  was  the  life  of  the  little  garrison  for  two  or  three  long  sum- 
mer months — each  day  so  resembling  its  fellow,  that  no  difference 
could  be  found. 

As  to  how  the  war  was  faring,  or  what  the  aspect  of  affairs  might 
be,  they  absolutely  knew  nothing.  Newspapers  never  reached  them; 
and  whether  from  having  so  much  occupation  at  headquarters,  or  that 
the  difficulty  of  sending  letters  prevented,  their  friends  never  wrote 
a  line;  and  thus  they  jogged  on,  a  very  vegetable  existence,  till 
thought  at  last  was  stagnating  in  their  brains,  and  O'Flaherty  half 
envied  his  companion's  resource  in  the  spirit  flask. 

Such  was  the  state  of  affairs  at  the  Fort,  when  one  evening 
O'Flaherty  appeared  to  pace  the  little  rampart  that  looked  toward 
Lake  Ontario,  with  an  appearance  of  anxiety  and  impatience, 
strangely  at  variance  with  his  daily  phlegmatic  look.  It  seemed  that 
the  corporal's  party  he  had  dispatched  that  morning  to  forage,  near 
the  "Falls,"  had  not  returned,  and  already  were  four  hours  later 
than  their  time  away. 

Every  imaginable  mode  of  accounting  for  their  absence  suggested 
itself  to  his  mind.  Sometimes  he  feared  that  they  had  been  attacked 
by  the  Indian  hunters,  who  were  far  from  favorably  disposed  toward 
their  poaching  neighbors.  Then,  again,  it  might  be  merely  that  they 
had  missed  their  track  in  the  forest ;  or  could  it  be  that  they  had 
ventured  to  reach  Goat  Island  in  a  canoe,  and  had  been  carried  down 
the  rapids?  Such  were  the  torturing  doubts  that  passed,  as  some 
shrill  squirrel  or  hoarse  night-owl  pierced  the  air  with  a  cry,  and 
then  all  was  silent  again.  While  thus  the  hours  went  slowly  by,  his 
attention  was  attracted  by  a  bright  light  in  the  sky.  It  appeared  as 
if  part  of  the  heavens  were  reflecting  some  strong  glare  from  beneath ; 
for  as  he  looked,  the  light,  at  first  pale  and  colorless,  gradually  deep- 
ened into  a  rich  mellow  hue,  and  at  length  through  the  murky  black- 
ness of  the  night,  a  strong  clear  current  of  flame  rose  steadily  upward 
from  the  earth,  and  pointed  toward  the  sky.  From  the  direction,  it 
must  have  been  either  at  the  Falls,  or  immediately  near  them ;  and 
now  the  horrible  conviction  flashed  upon  his  mind,  that  the  party 
had  been  waylaid  by  the  Indians,  who  were,  as  is  their  custom, 
making  a  war  feast  over  their  victims. 

Not  an  instant  was  to  be  lost.  The  little  garrison  beat  to  arms,  and 
as  the  men  fell  in,  O'Flaherty  east  his  eyes  around  while  he  selected 
a  few  brave  fellows  to  accompany  him.  Scarcely  had  the  men  fallen 
out  from  the  ranks,  when  the  sentinel  at  the  gates  was  challenged 
by  a  well-known  voice,  and  ia  a  moment  rnoxe  the  corporai  of  the 


288  HARHY    LORREQUER. 

foraging  party  was  among  them.  Fatigue  and  exhaustion  had  so 
overcome  him,  that  for  some  minutes  he  was  speechless.  At  length 
he  recovered  sufficiently  to  give  the  following  brief  account: 

The  little  party  having  obtained  their  supply  of  venison  above 
Queenston,  were  returning  to  the  Fort,  when  they  suddenly  came 
upon  a  track  of  feet,  and  little  experience  in  forest  life  soon  proved 
that  some  new  arrivals  had  reached  the  hunting-grounds,  for  on  ex- 
amining them  closely,  they  proved  neither  to  be  Indian  tracks,  nor 
yet  those  made  by  the  shoes  of  the  Fort  party.  Proceeding  with 
caution  to  trace  them  backward  for  three  or  four  miles,  they  reached 
the  bank  of  the  Niagara  River,  above  the  whirlpool,  where  the  cross- 
ing is  most  easily  effected  from  the  American  side.  The  mystery 
was  at  once  explained ;  it  was  a  suiprise  party  of  the  Yankees,  sent 
to  attack  Fort  Peak,  and  the  only  thing  to  be  done  was  to  hasten 
back  immediately  to  their  friends,  and  prepare  for  their  reception. 

With  this  intent,  they  took  the  river  path  as  the  shortest,  but  had 
not  proceeded  far  when  their  fears  were  confirmed;  for  in  a  little 
embayment  of  the  bank  they  perceived  a  party  of  twenty  blue-coats, 
who,  with  their  arms  piled,  were  lying  round,  as  if  waiting  for  the 
hour  of  attack.  The  sight  of  this  party  added  greatly  to  their  alarm, 
for  they  now  perceived  that  the  Americans  had  divided  their  force 
— the  foot-tracks  first  seen  being  evidently  those  of  another  division. 
As  the  corporal  and  his  few  men  continued,  from  the  low  and  thick 
brushwood,  to  make  their  reconnaissance  of  the  enemy,  they  observed 
with  delight  that  they  were  not  regulars,  but  a  militia  force.  With 
this  one  animating  thought,  they  again,  with  noiseless  step,  regained 
fiic  forest,  and  proceeded  upon  their  way.  Scarcely,  however,  had 
fliey  marched  a  mile,  when  the  sound  of  voices  and  loud  laughter 
apprised  them  that  another  party  was  near,  which,  as  well  as  they 
could  observe  in  the  increasing  gloom,  was  still  larger  than  the  f  ormer. 
They  were  now  obliged  to  make  a  considerable  circuit,  and  advance 
still  deeper  into  the  forest,  their  anxiety  hourly  increasing,  lest  the 
enemy  should  reach  the  Fort  before  themselves.  In  this  dilemma  it 
was  resolved  that  the  party  should  separate— the  corporal  determin- 
ing to  proceed  alone  by  the  river  bank,  while  the  others,  by  a 
dttour  of  some  miles,  should  endeavor  to  learn  the  force  of  the 
Yankees,  and,  as  far  as  they  could,  their  mode  of  attack.  From 
that  instant,  the  corporal  knew  no  more;  for,  after  two  hours'  weary 
exertion  he  reached  the  Fort,  which,  had  it  been  but  another  mils 
distant,  his  strength  had  not  held  out  for  him  to  attain. 

However  gladly  poor  O 'Flaherty  might  have  hailed  such  informa- 
tion under  other  circumstances,  now  it  came  like  a  thunderbolt  upon 
him.  Six  of  his  small  force  were  away,  perhaps  ere  this  made  pris- 
oners by  the  enemy;  the  Yankees,  as  well  as  he  could  judge,  were  a 
numerous  party;  and  he  himself  totally  without  a  single  adviser— for 
Malone  had  dined,  and  was,  therefore,  by  this  time  in  that  pleasing 
state  of  indifference,  in  which  he  could  only  recognize  an  enemy  in 
the  man  that  did  not  send  round  the  decanter. 

In  the  half -indulged  hope  that  his  state  might  permit  some  faint 
exercise  of  the  reasoning  faculty,  O'Flaherty  walked  toward  the  small 
den  they  had  designated  as  the  mess-room,  in  search  of  his  brother 
officer. 

As  he  entered  the  apartment,  little  disposed  as  he  felt  to  mirth  at 


tiAIiKV     LOUUtQUEB.  289 

Such  a  moment,  the  tableau  before  him  was  too  ridiculous  not  to 
laugh  at.  At  one  side  of  the  fire-place  sat  Malone,  his  face  florid 
with  drinking,  ;ind  his  eye-bails  projecting.  Upon  his  head  was  a 
small  Indian  skull  cap,  with  two  peacock  feathers,  and  a  piece  of 
scarlet  cloth  which  hung  down  behind.  In  one  hand  he  held  a 
smoking  goblet  of  rum  punch,  and  in  the  other  a  long  Indian  chibouk- 
pipe.  Opposite  to  him,  but  squatted  upon  the  floor,  reposed  a  red 
Indian,  that  lived  in  the  Fort,  as  a  guide,  equally  drunk,  but  pre- 
serving, even  in  his  liquor,  an  impassive,  grave  aspect,  strangely 
conirasting  with  the  high  excitement  of  Malone's  face.  The  red 
man  wore  Malone's  uniform  coat,  which  he  had  put  on  back  foremost 
— his  head-dress  having  in  all  probability  been  exchanged  for  it,  as 
an  amicable  courtesy  between  the  parties.  There  they  sat,  looking 
fixedly  at  each  other;  neither  spoke,  nor  even  smiled — the  rum  bottle, 
which  at  brief  intervals  passed  from  one  to  the  other,  maintained  a 
friendly  intercourse  that  each  was  content  with. 

To  the  hearty  fit  of  laughing  of  O'Flaherty,  Malone  replied  by  a 
look  of  drunken  defiance,  and  then  nodded  to  his  red  friend,  who 
returned  the  courtesy.  As  poor  Tom  left  the  room,  he  saw  that 
nothing  was  to  be  hoped  for  in  this  quarter,  and  determined  to  beat 
the  garrison  to  arms  without  any  further  delay.  Scarcely  had  he 
closed  the  door  behind  him,  when  a  sudden  thought  flashed  through 
his  brain.  He  hesitated,  walked  forward  a  few  paces,  stopped  again, 
and  calling  out  to  the  corporal,  said: 

"  You  are  certain  they  were  militia?" 

"  Yes,  sir;  quite  sure." 

"  Then,  by  Jove,  I  have  it,"  cried  O'Flaherty.  "  If  they  should 
turn  out  to  be  the  Buffalo  Fencibles,  we  may  get  through  this  scrape 
better  than  I  hoped  for." 

"  I  believe  you  are  right,  sir;  for  I  heard  one  of  the  men  as  I  passed 
observe,  '  What  will  they  say  in  Buffalo  when  it's  over?'  " 

"Send  Mathers  here,  corporal;  and  do  you  order  four  rank  and 
file,  with  side  arms,  to  be  in  readiness  immediately." 

"Mathers,  you  have  heard  the  news  ,"rsaid  O'Flaherty,  as  the 
sergeant  entered.  "  Can  the  fort  hold  out  ag'aiust  such  a  force  as  Jack- 
son reports?  You  doubt;  well,  so  do  I;  so  let's  see  what's  to  be 
done.  Can  you  remember,  was  it  not  the  Buffalo  militia  that  were 
so  tremendously  thrashed  by  the  Delawares  last  autumn?" 

"  Yes,  sir,  they  chased  them  for  two  days  and  nights,  and  had 
they  not  reached  the  town  of  Buffalo,  the  Delawares  would  not  have 
left  a  scalp  in  the  regiment." 

"  Can  you  recollect  the  chief's  name— it  was  Carran— something, 
eh?" 

' '  Caudan-dacwagae. ' ' 

"  Exactly.    Where  is  he  supposed  to  be  now?" 

"  Up  in  Detroit,  sir,  they  say,  but  no  one  knows.  Those  fellows 
are  here  to-day,  and  there  to-morrow." 

"Well,  then,  sergeant,  here's  my  plan."  Saying  these  words, 
O'Flaherty  proceeded  to  walk  toward  his  quarters,  accompank-tl  by 
the  sergeant,  with  whom  he  conversed  for  soi:ie  time  eagerly — occa- 
sionally replying,  as  it  appeared,  to  objections,  and  offering  explana- 
tions as  the  other  seemed  to  require  them.  The  colloquy  lasted  half 


290  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

an  hour — and  although  the  veteran  sergeant  seemed  difficult  of  con- 
viction, it  ended  by  his  saying  as  he  left  the  room: 

"  Well,  sir,  as  you  say,  it  can  only  come  to  hard  knocks  at  the 
worst.  Here  goes— I'll  send  off  the  scout  party  to  make  the  fires 
and  choose  the  men  for  the  out-pickets,  for  no  time  is  to  be  lost." 

In  about  an  hour's  time  from  the  scene  I  have  mentioned,  a  num- 
ber of  militia  officers,  of  different  grades,  were  seated  round  a  bivouac 
fire,  upon  the  bank  of  the  Niagara  River.  The  conversation  seemed 
of  an  angry  nature,  for  the  voices  of  the  speakers  were  loud  and 
irascible,  and  their  gestures  evidenced  a  state  of  high  excitement. 

"  I  see,"  said  one,  who  seemed  the  superior  of  the  party — "  I  see 
well  where  this  will  end.  We  shall  have  another  Queens'ton  affair, 
as  we  had  last  fall  wilji  the  Delawares. " 

"  I  only  say,"  replied  another,  "  that  if  you  wish  our  men  to  stand 
fire  in  the  morning,  the  less  you  remind  them  of  the  Delawares  the 
better.  What  is  that  noise?  Is  not  that  a  drum  beating?" 

The  party  at  these  words  sprung  to  their  legs,  and  stood  in  an  atti- 
tude of  listening  for  some  seconds. 

"  Who  goes  there?"  sung  out  a  sentinel  from  his  post;  and  then, 
after  a  moment's  delay,  added,  "  Pass  flag  of  truce  to  Major  Brown's 
quarters." 

Scarcely  were  the  words  spoken,  when  three  officers  in  scarlet, 
preceded  by  a  drummer  with  a  white  flag,  stood  before  the  American 
party. 

"  To  whom  may  I  address  myself?"  said  one  of  the  British— who, 
I  may  inform  my"  reader,  en  passant,  was  no  other  than  0 'Flaherty. 
"  To  whom  may  I  address  myself  as  the  officer  in  command?'^ 

"  I  am  Major  Brown,"  said  a  short,  plethoric  little  man,  in  a  blue 
uniform  and  round  hat,  "  And  who  are  you?" 

"  Major  O 'Flaherty,  of  his  majesty's  fi'fthfoot,"  said  Tom,  with 
a  very  sonorous  emphasis  on  each  word,  "the  bearer  of  a  flag  of 
truce  and  an  amicable  proposition  from  Major-General  Allen,  com- 
manding the  garrison  of  Fort  Peak. " 

The  Americans,  who  were  evidently  taken  by  surprise  at  their  in- 
tentions of  attack  being  known,  were  silent,  while  he  continued : 

"  Gentlemen,  it  may  appear  somewhat  strange  that  a  garrison, 
possessing  the  natural  strength  of  a  powerful  position,  supplied  with 
abundant  ammunition  and  every  muniment  of  war,  should  dispatch 
a  flag  of  truce  on  the  eve  of  an  attack,  in  preference  to  waiting  for 
the  moment,  when  a  sharp  and  well-prepared  reception  might'best 
attest  its  vigilance  and  discipline.  But  the  reasons  for  this  step  are 
soon  explained.  In  the  first  place,  you  intend  a  surprise.  We  have 
been  long  aware  of  your  projected  attack.  Our  spies  have  tracked 
you  from  your  crossing  the  river  above  the  whirlpool  to  your  present 
position.  Every  man  of  your  party  is  numbered  by  us;  and,  what 
is  still  more,  numbered  by  our  allies — yes,  gentlemen,  I  must  repeat 
it,  'allies,'  though,  as  a  Briton,  I  blush  at.  the  word.  Shame  and 
disgrace  forever  be  that  man's  portion,  who  first  associated  the  hon- 
orable usages  of  war  with  the  atrocious  and  bloody  cruelties  of  the 
savage,  "iet  so  it  is:  the  Delawares  of  the  hills,"  here  the  Yankees 
exchanged  very  peculiar  looks,  "  have  this  morning  arrived  at 
Fort  Peak,  with  orders  to  ravage  the  whole  of  your  frontier,  from 
Fort  George  to  Lake  Erie.  They  brought  us  the  information  of  your 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  291 

approach,  and  their  chief  is,  while  I  speak,  making  an  infamous 
proposition,  by  which  a  price  is  to  he  paid  for  every  scalp  he  pro- 
duces in  the  morning.  Now,  as  the  general  cannot  refuse  to  co- 
operate with  the  savages,  without  compromising  himself  with  the 
commander-in-chief ,  neither  can  he  accept  of  such  assistance  with- 
out some  pangs  of  conscience.  He  has  taken  the  only  course  open 
to  him:  he  has  dispatched  myself  and  my  brother  officers  here," 
O'Flaherty  glanced  at  two  privates  dressed  up  in  his  regimentals, 
"  to  offer  you  terms " 

O'Flaherty  paused  when  he  arrived  thus  far,  expecting  that  the 
opposite  party  would  make  some  reply;  but  they  continued  silent; 
when,  suddenly,  from  the  dense  forest  there  rung  forth  a  wild  and 
savage  yell,  that  rose  and  fell  several  times,  like  the  pibroch  of  the 
highlander,  and  ended  at  last  in  a  loud  whoop,  that  was  echoed  and 
re-echoed  again  and  again  for  several  seconds  after. 

"  Hark!"  said  O'Flaherty,  with  an  accent  of  horror.  "  Hark!  the 
war-cry  of  the  Delawares !  The  savages  are  eager  for  their  prey. 
May  it  yet  be  time  enough  to  rescue  you  from  such  a  fate!  Time 
presses,  our  terms  are  these,  as  they  do  not  admit  of  discussion,  and 
must  be  at  once  accepted  or  rejected,  to  your  own  ear  alone  can  I 
impart  them." 

Saying  which,  he  took  Major  Brown  aside,  and,  walking  apart 
from  the  others,  led  him,  by  slow  steps,  into  the  forest.  While 
O'Flaherty  continued  to  dilate  upon  the  atrocities  of  Indian  war,  and 
the  revengeful  character  of  the  savages,  he  contrived  to  be  always 
advancing  toward  the  river  side,  till  at  length  the  glare  of  fire  was 
perceptible  through  the  gloom.  Major  Brown  stopped  suddenly, 
and  pointed  in  the  direction  of  the  flame. 

"  It  is  the  Indian  picket,"  said  O'Flaherty,  calmly;  "  and  as  the 
facts  I  have  been  detailing  may  be  more  palpable  to  your  mind, 
you  shall  see  them  with  your  own  eyes  Yes,  I  repeat  it,  you  shall, 
through  the  cover  of  this  brushwood,  see  Caudan-dacwagea  himself 
— for  he  is  with  them  in  person." 

As  O'Flaherty  said  this,  he  led  Major  Brown,  now  speechless  with 
terror,  behind  a  massive  cork  tree,  from  which  spot  they  could  look 
down  upon  the  river  side,  where  in  a  small  creek,  sat  five  or  six 
persons  in  blankets,  and  scarlet  head-dresses;  their  faces  streaked 
with  patches  of  yellow  and  red  paint,  to  which  the  glare  of  the  fire 
lent  fresh  horror.  In  the  midst  sat  one,  whose  violent  gestures  and 
savage  cries  gave  him  the  very  appearance  of  a  demon,  as  he  resisted 
with  all  his  might  the  efforts  of  the  others  to  restrain  him,  shouting 
like  a  maniac  all  the  while,  and  straggling  to  rise. 

"It  is  the  chief,"  said  O'Flaherty;  "he  will  wait  no  longer. 
We  have  bribed  the  others  to  keep  him  quiet,  if  possible,  a  little 
time;  but  I  see  they  cannot  succeed." 

Aloud  yell  of  triumph  from  below  interrupted  Tom's  speech: 
the  infuriated  savage,  who  was  no  other  than  Mr.  Malone,  having 
obtained  the  rum  bottle,  for  which  he  was  fighting  with  all  Ira 
might,  his  temper  not  being  improved  in  the  struggle  by  occasional 
admonitions  from  the  red  end  of  a  cigar,  applied  to  his  naked  skin, 
by  the  other  Indians,  who  were  his  own  soldiers,  acting  under 
O'Flaherty's  orders. 

"  Now,    said  Tom,  "  that  you  have  convinced  yourself,  and  can 


292  HAKRY    LORREQUER. 

satisfy  your  brother  officers,  will  you  take  your  chance?  or  will  you 
accept  the  honored  terms  of  the  general,  pile  your  arms,  and  retreat 
beyond  the  river  before  daybreak?  Your  muskets  and  ammunition 
will  offer  a  bribe  to  the  cupidity  of  the  savage,  and  delay  his  pursuit 
till  you  can  reach  some  place  of  safety." 

Major  Brown  heard  the  proposal  in  silence,  and  at  last  determined 
upon  consulting  his  brother  officers. 

"I  have  outstayed  my  time,"  said  O'Flaherty,  "but  stop;  the 
lives  of  so  many  are  at  stake,  I  consent."  Saying  which,  they 
walked  on  without  speaking,  till  they  arrived  where  the  others  were 
standing  around  the  watch-fire. 

As  Brown  retired  to  consult  with  the  officers,  Tom  heard  with 
pleasure  how  rnuch  his  two  companions  had  worked  upon  the  Yan- 
kees' fears  during  his  absence,  by  details  of  the  vindictive  feelings  of 
the  Delawares,  and  their  vows  to  annihilate  the  Buffalo  militia. 

Before  five  minutes  they  had  decided.  Upon  a  solemn  pledge  from 
O'Flaherty  that  the  terms  of  the  compact  were  to  be  observed  as  he 
stated  them,  they  agreed  to  march  with  their  arms  to  the  ford,  where 
having  piled  them,  they  were  to  cross  over,  and  make  the  best  of 
their  way  home. 

By  sunrise  the  next  morning  all  that  remained  of  the  threatened 
attack  on  Fort  Peak,  were  the  smoldering  ashes  of  some  wood  fires, 
eighty  muskets  piled  in  the  Fort,  and  the  yellow  ocher  and  red 
stripes  that  still  adorned  the  countenance  of  the  late  Indian  chief 
but  now  snoring  Lieutenant  Maurice  Malone. 


CHAPTER  XLVIII. 
THE  COURIER'S  PASSPORT. 

A  SECOND  night  succeeded  to  the  long  dreary  day  of  the  diligence; 
and  the  only  one  agreeable  reflection  arose  in  the  feeling  that  every 
mile  traveled  was  diminishing  the  chance  of  pursuit,  and  removing 
me  still  further  from  that  scene  of  trouble  and  annoyance  that  was 
soon  to  furnish  gossip  for  Paris,  under  the  title  of  "  The  Affaire 
O'Lfary." 

How  he  was  ever  to  extricate  himself  from  the  numerous  and  em- 
barrassing difficulties  of  his  position,  gave  me,  I  confess,  less  un- 
easiness than  the  uncertainty  of  my  own  fortunes.  Luck  seemed 
ever  to  befriend  him,  me  it  had  always  accompanied  far  enough 
through  life  to  make  its  subsequent  desertion  more  painful.  How 
far  I  should  blame  myself  for  this,  I  stopped  not  to  consider;  but 
brooded  over  the  fact  in  a  melancholy  and  discontented  mood.  The 
one  thought  uppermost  in  niy  mind  was,  how  will  Lady  Jane  re- 
ceive me?  am  I  forgotten,  or  am  I  only  remembered  as  the  subject 
of  that  unlucky  mistake,  when,  under  the  guise  of  an  elder  son  I 
was  fe'ted  and  made  much  of?  What  pretensions  I  had,  without 
fortune,  rank,  influence,  or  even  expectations  of  any  kind,  to  seek, 
tiie  hand  of  the  most  beautiful  girl  of  the  day,  with  the  largest  fort- 
une as  IKT  dowry,  I  dare  not  ask  myself,  the  reply  would  have 
1  ail  my  hopes;  and  my  pursuit  would  have  at  once  been 
abandoned  "  Tell  the  people  you  are  an  excellent  preacher,"  was 


HAREY    LORREQUER.  293 

the  advice  of  an  old  and  learned  divine  to  a  younger  and  less  expe- 
rienced one,  "  tell  them  so  every  morning,  and  every  noon,  and 
every  evening,  and  at  last  they  will  begin  to  believe  it.  So  thought 
I.  I  shall  impress  upon  the  Callonbys  that  I  am  a  most  unexcep- 
tionable "parti."  Upon  every  occasion  they  shall  hear  it,  as  they 
open  their  newspapers  at  breakfast,  as  they  sip  their  soup  at  lunch- 
eon, as  they  adjust  their  napkin  at  dinner,  as  they  chat  over  their 
wine  at  night.  My  influence  in  the  house  shall  be  unbounded,  my 
pleasures  consulted,  my  dislikes  remembered.  The  people  in  favor 
with  me  shall  dine  there  three  times  a  week,  those  less  fortunate, 
shall  be  put  into  schedule  A.  My  opinions  on  all  subjects  shall  be  a 
law,  whether  I  pronounce  upon  politics  or  discuss  a  dinner:  and  all 
this  I  shall  accomplish  by  a  successful  flattery  of  my  lady,  a  little 
bullying  of  my  lord,  a  devoted  attention  to  the  youngest  sister,  a 
special  cultivation  of  Kilkee,  and  a  very  prononce  neglect  of  Lady 
Jane.  These  were  my  half-waking  thoughts,  as  the  heavy  diligence 
rumbled  over  the  pave  into  Nancy;  and  I  was  aroused  by  the  door 
being  suddenly  jerked  open,  nnd  a  bronzed  face,  with  a  black  beard 
and  mustache,  being  thrust  in  among  us. 

"  Your  passports,  Messieurs,"  as  a  lantern  was  held  up  in  succes- 
sion across  our  faces,  and  we  handed  forth  our  crumpled  and  worn 
papers  to  the  official. 

The  night  was  stormy  and  dark — gusts  of  wind  sweeping  along, 
bearing  with  them  the  tail  of  some  thunder-cloud,  mingling  their 
sound  with  a  falling  tile  from  the  roofs  of  a  broken  chimney-pot. 
The  officer  in  vain  endeavored  to  hold  open  the  passports  while  he 
inscribed  his  name,  and  just  as  the  last  scrawl  was  completed  the 
lantern  went  out.  Muttering  a  heavy  curse  upon  the  weather,  he 
thrust  them  in  upon  us  en  masse,  and,  banging  the  door  to,  called 
out  to  the  conducteur,  *'  en  route." 

Again  we  rumbled  on,  and  ere  we  cleared  the  last  lamps  of  the 
town  the  whole  part_y  was  once  more  sunk  in  sleep,,  save  myself. 
Hour  after  hour  rolled  by,  the  rain  pattering  upon  the  roof,  and  the 
heavy  plash  of  the  horses'  feet  contributing  their  mournful  sounds, 
to  the  melancholy  that  was  stealing  over  .me.  At  length  we  drew  up 
at  the  door  of  a  little  auberge,  and,  by  the  noise  and  bustle  without, 
1  perceived  there  was  a  change  of  horses.  Anxious  to  stretch  my 
legs,  and  relieve,  if  even  for  a  moment,  the  wearisome  monotony  of 
the  night,  I  got  out  and  strode  into  the  little  parlor  of  the  inn.  There 
was  a  cheerful  fire  in  an  open  stove,  beside  which  stood  a  portly 
figure  in  a  sheepskin  bunta  and  a  cloth  traveling  cap  with  a  gold 
band ;  his  legs  were  cased  in  high  Russia  leather  boots,  all  evident 
signs  of  the  profession  of  the  wearer,  had  even  his  haste  at  supper 
not  bespoke  the  fact  tha^.  he  was  a  government  courier. 

"  You  had  better  make  haste  with  the  horses,  Antoine,  if  you 
don't  wish  the  postmaster  to  hear  of  it,"  said  he,  as  I  entered,  hi8 
mouth  filled  with  pie-crust  and  vin  dc  Beaune  as  he  spoke. 

A  lumbering  peasant,  with  a  blouse,  sabots,  and  a  striped  night- 
cap, replied  in  some  unknown  patois,  when  the  courier  again  said: 

"  Well,  then,  take  the  diligence  horses;  I  must  get  on  at  all  events. 
They  are  not  so  presse,  I'll  be  bound ;  besides,  it  will  save  the  gen- 
darmes some  miles  of  a  ride  if  they  overtake  them  here." 


294  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

"  Have  we  another  vise  of  our  passports  here,  then?"  said  I,  ad 
dressing  the  courier,  "  for  we  have  alreadjr  been  examined  at  Nancy." 

"Not  exactly  a  vise,"  said  the  courier,  eying  me  most  suspi- 
ciously as  he  spoke,  and  then  continuing  to  eat  with  his  former  vo- 
racity. 

"  Then,  what,  may  I  ask,  have  we  to  do  with  these  gendarmes?" 

"  It  is  a  search,"  said  the  courier,  gruffly,  and  with  the  air  of  one 
who  desired  no  further  questioning. 

I  immediately  ordered  a  bottle  of  Burgundy,  and  filling  the  large 
goblet  before  him,  said,  with  much  respect: 

"  A  votre  bonne  voyage,  Monsieur  le  Courier." 

To  this  he  at  once  replied,  by  taking  off  his  cap  and  bowing  po- 
litely as  he  drank  off  the  wine. 

"  Have  we  any  runaway  felon  or  a  stray  galerien  among  us?"  said 
I,  laughingly,^'  that  they  are  going  to  search  us?" 

"No,  monsieur,"  said  the  courier;  "  but  there  has  been  a  govern- 
ment order  to  arrest  a  person  on  this  road  connected  with  the  dread- 
ful Polish  plot,  that  has  just  eclated  at  Paris.  I  passed  a  vidette  of 
cavalry  at  Nancy,  and  they  will  be  up  here  in  half  an  hour." 

"A  Polish  plot!  Why,  I  left  Paris  only  a  few  days  ago,  and 
never  heard  of  it." 

"  C'est  bien  possible,  monsieur — perhaps,  after  all,  it  may  ouly 
be  an  affair  of  the  police;  but  they  have  certainly  arrested  one  pris- 
oner at  Meurice's,  charged  with  this,  as  well  as  the  attempt  to  rob 
Frascati,  and  murder  the  croupier. " 

"  Alas,"  said  I,  "  with  a  half -suppressed  groan,  "it  is  too  true; 
that  infernal  fellow,  O'Leary,  has  ruined  me,  and  I  shall  be  brought 
back  to  Paris,  and  only  taken  from  prison  to  meet  the  open  shame 
and  ignominy  of  a  public  trial." 

What  was  to  be  done? — every  moment  was  precious.  I  walked  to 
the  door  to  conceal  my  agitation.  All  was  dark  and  gloomy.  The 
thought  of  escape  was  my  only  one;  but  how  to  accomplish  it 
Every  stir  without  suggested  to  my  anxious  mind  the  approachin"1 
tread  of  horses.  Eveiy  rattle  of  the  harness  seemed  like  the  clink  of 
accouterments. 

While  I  yet  hesitated,  I  felt  that  my  fate  was  in  the  balnnce 
Concealment  where  I  was,  was  impossible;  there  were  no  means  of 
obtaining  horses  to  proceed.     My  last  only  hope  then  rested  in  the 
courier;  he,  perhaps,  might  be  bribed  to  assist  me  at  this  juncture 
Still  his  impression  as  to  the  enormity  of  the  crime  imputed  mi^it 
deter  him;  and  there  was  no  time  for  explanation,  if  even  he  would 
listen  to  it.     I  returned  to  the  room:  he  had  finished  his  meal  and 
was  now  engaged  in  all  the  preparations  for  encountering  a  wet  and 
dreary  night,     I  hesitated;  my  fears  that  if  he  should  refuse  my 
offers,  all  chance  of  escape  was  gone,   deterred  me  for  a  moment 
At  length,  as  he  wound  a  large  woolen  shawl  around  his  throat  and 
seemed  to  have  completed  his  costume,  I  summoned  nerve  for  the 
effort^  and,  with  as  much  boldness  in  my  manner  as  I  could  muster 
said: 

"Monsieur  le  Courier,  one  word  with  you."  I  here  closed  the 
door,  and  continued.  "  My  fortunes— my  whole  prospects  hi  life 
atpend  upon  my  reaching  Strasbourg  by  to-morrow  night  You 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  295 

alone  can  be  the  means  of  my  doing  so.    Is  there  any  price  you  can 
mention  for  which  you  will  render  me  this  service?  if  so,  name  it." 

"  So,  then,  monsieur,"  said  the  courier,  slowly — "so,  then,  you 
are  the " 

"  You  have  guessed  it, "  said  I,  interrupting.  "  Do  you  accept  my 
proposal?" 

"  It  is  impossible,"  said  he,  "  utterly  impossible;  for,  even  should 
I  be  disposed  to  run  the  risk  on  my  own  account,  it  would  avail  you 
nothing;  the  first  town  we  entered  your  passport  would  be  demand- 
ed, and,  not  being  vised  by  the  minister  to  travel  en  courier,  you 
would  at  once  be  detained  and  arrested. " 

"  Then  am  I  lost!"  said  I,  throwing  myself  upon  a  chair;  at  the 
same  instant  my  passport,  which  I  carried  in  my  breast-pocket,  fell 
out  at  the  feet  of  the  courier  He  lifted  it  and  opened  it  leisurely. 
So  engrossed  was  I  by  my  misfortunes  that  for  some  minutes  I  did 
not  perceive  that,  as  he  continued  to  read  the  passport,  he  smiled 
from  time  to  time,  till  at  length  a  hearty  fit  of  laughing  awoke  me 
from  my  abstraction.  My  first  impulse  was  to  seize  him  by  the 
throat;  controlling  my  temper,  however,  with  an  effort,  I  said: 

"  And  pray,  monsieur,  may  I  ask  in  what  manner  the  position  I 
staii'l  in  at  this  moment  affords  you  so  much  amusement?  Is  there 
anything  so  particularly  droll — anything  so  excessively  ludicrous  in 
my  situation — or  what  particular  gift  do  you  possess  that  shall  pre- 
vent me  throwing  you  out  of  the  window?" 

"Mais,  monsieur,"  said  he,  half  stifled  with  laughter,  "  do  you 
know  the  blunder  I  fell  into?  it  is  really  too  good.  Could  you-only 
guess  who  I  took  you  for,  you  would  laugh  too." 

Here  he  became  so  overcome  with  merriment,  that  he  was  obliged 
to  sit  down,  which  he  did  opposite  to  me,  and  actually  shook  with 
laughter. 

"  When  this  comedy  is  over,"  thought  I,  "  we  may  begin  to  un- 
derstand each  other."  Seeing  no  prospect  of  this,  I  became  at 
length  impatient,  and  jumping  on  my  legs,  said: 

Enough,  sir,  quite  enough  of  this  foolery.  Believe  me,  you 
have  every  reason  to  be  thankful  that  my  present  embarrassment 
should  so  far  engross  me,  that  I  cannot  afford  time  to  give  you  a 
thrashing." 

"  Pardon,  mille  pardons,"  said  he,  humbly;  "  but  you  will,  I  am 
sure,  forgive  me  when  I  tell  you  that  1  was  stupid  enough  to  mis- 
take you  for  the  fugitive  Englishman,  whom  the  gendarmes  are  in 
pursuit  of.  How  good,  eh?" 

"Oh!  devilish  good — but  what  do  you  mean?" 

"  Why,  the  fellow  that  caused  the  attack  at  Frascati,  and  all  that, 
and " 

"  Yes— well,  eh?    Did  you  think  I  was  he?" 

"  To  be  sure  I  did,  till  I  saw  your  passport." 

"  Till  you  saw  my  passport?"  Why,  what  on  earth  can  he  mean? 
thought  1.  "  No,  buV  said  I,  half  jestingly,  "  how  could  youmake 
Buch  a  blunder?" 

"  Why,  your  confused  manner — your  impatience  to  get  on — your 
hurried  questions,  all  convinced  me.  In  fact,  I'd  have  wagered 
anything  you  were  the  Englishman." 

'  And  what,  in  heaven's  name,  does  he  think  me  now!"  thought 


HARRY    LORREQTJER." 

I,  as  I  endeavored  to  join  the  laugh  so  ludicrous  a  mistake  occa 
sionGcl. 

But  we  are  delaying  sadly,"  said  the  courier.     "  Are  you  ready1'" 
Ready — ready  for  what?" 

Strasb°  S°-™  ^  "^  °f  C0urse'     Don>t  ?ou  wish  to  Set  early  to 
"  To  be  sure  I  do." 

''Well  then,  come  along.   But  pray,  don't  mind  your  luggage  for 
my  caleche  is  loaded.     Your  instruments  can  come  in  the  difioence  " 
My  instruments  in  the  diligence!    He's  mad— that's  flat 9' 
How  they  will  laugh  at  Strasbourg  at  my  mistake  " 

in  th^meSeS''''  th°Ught  L     "  The  ^  d°Ubt  fa''  ^  *m  ^ 

So  saying,  I  followed  the  courier  to  the  door,  jumped  into  his 

caleche,  and  m  another  moment  was  hurrying  over  the  pave  at  a  pace 

that  defied  pursuit,  and  promised  soon  to  make  up  for  all  our  late 

lelay  Scarcely  was  the  fur-lined  apron  of  the  caleche  buttoned 
around  me,  and  the  German  blinds  let  down,  when  I  set  to  work  to 
think  over  the  circumstance  that  had  just  befallen  me  As  I  had 
never  examined  my  passport  from  the  moment  Trevanion  handed  it 

o  me  at  Fans,  I  knew  nothing  of  its  contents:  therefore  as  to  wlvit 
impression  it  might  convey  of  me,  I  was  totally  ignorant  To  ask 
the  courier  for  it  now  might  excite  suspicions;  so  that  I  was  totally 
at  sea  how  to  account  for  his  sudden  change  in  my  favor  or  in 

S?  FireC;Te  Ca,P?c?y  J  W,as  travelinS  besi<le  him.  Once,  and  once 
>nl} ,  the  thought  of  treachery  occurred  to  me.  Is  he  about  to  hand 
me  over  to  the  gendarmes?  and  are  we  now  only  retracing  our 
steps  toward  Kancy?  If  so,  Monsieur  le  Courier,  whatever  &  my 
fate  yours  is  certainly  an  unenviable  one.  My  reflections  on  this 
bead  were  soon  broken  in  upon,  for  my  companion  again  returned 
to  the  subject  of  his  "  singular  error,"  and  assured  me  that  he  was 
as  near  as  possible  leaving  me  behind,  under  the  mistaken  impression 

hi  !?T-  ,Tf  *  mysdf ;"  a,n-d  informe(1  me  that  all  Strasbourg  would 
be  delighted  to  see  me,  which  latter  piece  of  news  was  only  the  more 
flattering,  that  I  knew  no  one  there,  nor  had  ever  been  in  that  city  in 
my  life;  and  after  about  an  hour's  mystification  as  to  my  tastes 
habits,  and  pursuits,  he  fell  fast  asleep,  leaving  me  to  solve  the  diffi- 
cult problem  as  to  whether  I  was  not  somebody  else,  or  the  only 
alternative— whether  traveling  en  courier  might  not  be  prescribed 
M  pnysicians  as  a  mode  for  treating  insane  patients 


CHAPTER  XLIX. 

A  NIGHT  EST  STRASBOURG. 

WITH  the  dawn  of  day  my  miseries  recommenced-  for  after  let 
mg  down  the  sash,  and  venting  some  very  fervent  imprecations  iroon 
the  postilion  for  not  going  faster  than  his  horses  were  aHo  'the 
courier  once  more  recurred  to  his  last  nisiht's  olunder,  arid  proceeded 
very  leisurely  to  catechize  me  as  to  my  probable  stav  at  Strasbourg 
when  I  should  go  from  thence,  &c.  As  I  was  still  in  doubt  what  or 
wftom  he  took  me  for,  I  answered  with  the  greatest  circumspection 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  29? 

—watching  the  while,  for  any  clew  that  might  lead  me  to  a  discoTery 
of  myself.  Thus,  occasionally  evading  all  pushing  and  home  queries, 
and  sometimes,  when  hard  pressed,  Feigning  drowsiness,  I  passed 
the  long  and  anxious  day  —  the  fear  of  being  overtaken  ever 
mingling  with  the  thoughts  that  some  unlucky  admission  of  mine 
might  discover  my  real  character  to  the  courier,  who,  at  any  post 
sta  ion,  might  hand  me  over  to  the  authorities.  Could  I  only  guess 
at  the  parti  arn  performing,  thought  I,  I  might  manage  to  keep 
up  the  illusion ;  but  my  attention  was  so  entirely  engrossed  by  fenc- 
ing off  all  his  threats,  that  I  could  find  out  nothing.  At  last,  as 
night  drew  near,  the  thought  that  we  were  approaching  Strasbourg 
rallied  my  spirits,  suggesting  an  escape  from  all  pursuit,  as  well  as 
the  welcome  prospect  of  getting  rid  of  my  present  torturer,  who, 
whenever  I  awoke  from  a  doze,  reverted  to  our  singular  meeting 
with  a  pertinacity  that  absolutely  seemed  like  malice. 

"  As  I  am  aware  that  this  is  your  first  visit  to  Strasbourg,"  said 
the  courier,  "  perhaps  I  can  be  of  service  to  you  in  recommending  a 
hotel.  Put  up,  I  advise  you,  at  the  '  Bear  ' — a  capital  hotel,  and  not 
ten  minutes'  distance  from  the  theater." 

I  thanked  him  for  the  counsel ;  and,  rejoicing  in  the  fact  that  my 
prototype,  whoever  he  might  be,  was  unknown  in  the  city,  began 
to  feel  some  little  hope  of  getting  through  this  scrape,  as  I  had 
done  so  many  others. 

"  They  have  been  keeping  the  '  Huguenots  '  for  your  arrival,  and 
all  Strasbourg  is  impatient  for  your  coming." 

"  Indeed!"  said  I,  mumbling  something  meant  to  be  modest. 
"  Who  the  devil  am  I,  then,  to  cause  all  this  fracas?  Heaven  grant, 
not  the  new  '  prefect,'  or  the  commander  of  the  forces." 

"  I  am  told  the  '  Zaubertlotte  '  is  your  favorite  opera?" 

"  I  can't  say  that  I  ever  heard  it — that  is,  I  mean  that  I  could  say 
— well  got  up." 

Here  I  floundered  on,  having  so  far  forgot  myself  as  to  endanger 
everything. 

"  How  very  unfortunate!  Well,  I  hope  you  will  not  long  have  as 
much  to  say.  Meanwhile,  here  we  are — this  is  the  '  Bear. ' ' 

We  rattled  into  the  ample  porte  cochereoi  a  vast  hotel — the  postilion 
cracking  his  enormous  whip,  and  bells  ringing  on  every  side,  as  if 
the  crown  prince  of  Russia  had  been  the  arrival,  and  not  a  poor  sub. 
in  the  — th. 

The  courier  jumped  out,  and  running  up  to  the  landlord,  whis- 
pered a  few  words  in  his  ear,  to  which  the  other  answered  by  a  deep 
"  ah  vraiment!"  and  then  saluted  me  with  an  obsequiousness  that 
made  my  flesh  quake. 

"  I  shall  make '  meshommages,'  in  the  morning,"  said  the  courier, 
as  he  drove  off  at  full  speed  to  deliver  his  dispatches,  and  left  me  to 
my  own  devices  to  perform  a  character,  without  even  being  able  to 
guess  what  it  might  be.  My  passport,  too,  the  only  thing  that  could 
throw  any  light  upon  the  affair,  he  had  taken  along  with  him,  prom- 
ising to  have  it  vised,  and  save  me  any  trouble. 

Of  all  my  difficulties  and  puzzling  situations  in  life,  this  was  cer- 
tainly the  worst ;  for  however  often  my  lot  had  been  to  personate 
another,  yet  hitherto  I  had  had  the  good  forlune  to  be  aware  of  what 
and  whom  \  was  performing.  Now  I  might  be  anybody  from 


298  HARRY    LORREQL'ER. 

Marshal  Soult  to  Monsieur  Scribe;  one  thing  only  was  certain  I 
must  be  a  "  celebrity."  The  confounded  pains  and  trouble  they  wore 
taking  to  receive  me  attested  the  fact,  and  left  me  to  the  pl'easinf 
reflection  that  my  detection,  should  it  take  place,  would  be  sure  of 
attracting  a  very  general  publicity.  Having  ordered  my  supper  from 
the  landlord,  with  a  certain  air  of  reserve,  sufficient  even  to  prevent 
an  Alsace  host  from  obtruding  any  questions  upon  me,  I  took  my 
opportunity  to  stroll  from  the  inn  down  to  the  river  side.  There  lay 
the  broad  rapid  Rhine,  separating  me,  by  how  narrow  a  gulf,  from 
that  land  where,  if  I  once  arrived,  my  safety  was  certain.  Never 
did  that  great  boundary  of  nations  strike  me  so  forcibly  as  now  when 
my  own  petty  interests  and  fortune  were  at  stake.  JSTight  WHS  fast 
settling  upon  the  low,  flat  banks  of  the  stream,  and  nothing  stirred 
save  the  ceaseless  ripple  of  the  river.  One  fishing  bark  alone  was 
on  the  water.  I  hailed  the  solitary  tenant  of  it.  and  after  some  little 
parley  induced  him  to  ferry  me  over.  This,  however,  could  only 
be  done  when  the  night  was  further  advanced— it  being  against  the 
law  to  cross  the  river  except  at  certain  hours,  and  between  two  estab- 
ished  points  where  officers  of  the  revenue  were  stationed.  The 
fisherman  was  easily  bribed,  however,  to  evade  the  regulation  and 
only  bargained  that  I  should  meet  him  on  the  bank  before  daybreak 
Having  settled  this  point  to  my  satisfaction,  I  returned  to  mv  hotel 
in  better  spirits;  and  with  a  Strasbourg  pate,  and  a  flask  of  Niren- 
slemer,  drank  to  my  speedy  deliverance. 

How  to  consume'the  long,  dreary  hours  between  this  time  and  that 
of  my  departure,  I  knew  not;  for  though  greatly  fatigued,  I  felt  that 
leep  was  impossible;  the  usual  resource  of  a  gossip  with  the  host 
was  equally  out  of  the  question;  and  all  that  remained  was  the 
theater,  which  I  happily  remembered  was  not  far  from  the  hotel. 
It  was  an  opera  night,  and  the  house  was  crowded  to  excess;  but 
•ith  some  little  management,  I  obtained  a  place  in  a  box  near  the 
stage.     The  piece  was  "  Les  Franc  Macons,"  which  was  certainly 
admirably  supported,  and  drew  down  from  the  audience-  no  mean 
one  as  judges  of  music— the  loudest  thunders  of  applause    As  for  me 
the  house  was  as  great  a  curiosity  as  the  opera.     The  novel  spectacle 
:  some  hundreds  of  people  relishing  and  appreciating  the  highest  order 
of  musical  genius,  was  something  totally  new  and  surprising  to  me 
The  curtain  at  length  fell  upon  the  fifth  act— and  now  the  deafening 
:r  of  acclamation  was  tremendous,  and  amid  a  perfect  shout  of 
enthusiasm,  the  manager  announced  the  opera  for  the  ensuing  even- 
ing. Scarcely  had  this  subsided,  when  a  buzz  ran  throueh  the  house- 
at  first  subdued,  but  gradually  getting  louder— extending  from  the 
>oxes  to  the  balcony— from  the  balcony  to  the  parterre— and  finally 
even  to  the  galleries.     Groups  of  people  stood  upon  the  benches  and 
looked  fixedly  on  one  part  of  the  house;  then  changed  and  regarded 
as  eagerly  the  other. 

What  can  this  mean?  thought  I.     Is  the  theater  on  fire?    Some- 
thing surely  has  gone  wrong! 

In  this  conviction,  with  the  courageous  spirit  of  curiosity,  I  mounted 
)on  a  seat,  and  looked  about  me  on  every  side;  but  unable  still  to 
ten  the  object  which  seemed  to  attract  the  rest,  as  I  was  about  to 
suine  my  place,  my  eyes  fell  upon  a  well-known  face,  which  in  an 
slant  I  remembered  was  that  of  my  late  fellow- traveler  the  courier 


HARRY    L011REQUER.  299 

Anxious  to  avoid  his  recognition,  I  attempted  to  get  down  at  once, 
but  before  I  could  accomplish  it,  the  wretch  had  perceived  and  recog- 
nized me ;  and  I  saw  him,  even  with  a  gesture  of  delight,  point  me 
out  to  some  friends  beside  him. 

"  Confound  the  fellow,"  mutttered  I;  "I  must  leave  this  at  once, 
or  I  shall  be  involved  in  some  trouble." 

Scarcely  was  my  resolve  taken,  when  a  new  burst  of  voices  arose' 
from  the  pit — the  words  "  1'Auteur;"  "  1'Auteur,"  mingling  with 
loud  cries  for  "  Meerberger,"  "  Meerberger, "  to  appear.  So,  thought 
I,  it  seems  the  great  composer  is  here.  Oh,  by  Jove!  I  must  have  a 
peep  at  him  before  I  go.  So,  leaning  over  the  front  rail  of  the  box,  I 
looked  anxiously  about  to  catch  one  hasty  glimpse  of  one  of  the  great 
men  of  his  day  and  country.  What  was  my  surprise,  however,  to 
perceive  that  about  two  thousand  eyes  were  firmly  riveted  upon  the 
box  I  was  seated  in;  while  about  half  the  number  of  tongues  called 
out  unceasingly,  "  Mr.  Meerberger — vive  Meerberger — vive  1'Auteur 
des  Franc  Magons — vive  Franc  Magons,"  &c.  Before  I  could  turn 
to  look  for  the  hero  of  the  scene,  my  legs  were  taken  from  under  me, 
and  I  felt  myself  lifted  by  several  strong  men  and  held  out  in  front  of 
the  box,  while  the  whole  audience,  rising  en  masse,  saluted  me — yes, 
me.  Harry  Lorrequer — with  a  cheer  that  shook  the  building.  Fear- 
ful of  precipitating  myself  into  the  pit  beneath,  if  I  made  tne  least 
effort,  and  half  wild  with  terror  aud  amazement.  I  stared  about  like  a 
maniac,  while  a  beautiful  young  woman  tripped  along  the  edge  of 
the  box,  supported  by  her  companion's  hand,  and  placed  lightly 
upon  my  brow  a  chaplet  of  roses  and  laurel.  Here  the  applause  was 
like  an  earthquake. 

"  May  the  devil  fly  away  with  half  of  ye,"  was  my  grateful  re- 
sponse to  as  full  a  cheer  of  applause  as  ever  the  walls  of  the  house 
re-echoed. 

"  On  the  stage — on  the  stage!"  shouted  that  portion  of  the  audience 
who,  occupying  the  same  side  of  the  house  as  myself,  preferred  hav- 
ing a  better  view  of  me,  and  to  the  stage  I  was  accordingly  hurried, 
down  a  narrow  stair,  through  a  side  scene,  and  over  half  the  corps 
de  ballet  who  were  waiting  for  their  entree.  Kicking,  plunging, 
buffeting  like  a  madman,  they  carried  me  to  the  "  flats,"  when  the 
manager  led  me  forward  to  the  footlights;  my  wreath  of  flowers  con- 
trasting rather  ruefully  with  my  bruised  cheek  and  torn  habiliments. 
Human  beings,  God  be  praised,  are  only  capable  of  certain  efforts — 
BO  that  one-half  the  audience  were  coughing  their  sides  out,  while 
the  other  were  hoarse  as  bull-frogs  from  their  enthusiasm  in  less 
than  five  minutes. 

"  You'll  have  what  my  friend  Roony  calls  a  chronic  bronchitis  for 
this,  these  three  weeks,"  said  I,  "  that's  one  comfort,"  as  I  bowed 
my  way  back  to  the  "  practicable  "  door,  through  which  I  made  my 
exit,  with  the  thousand  faces  of  the  parterre  shouting  my  name,  or, 
as  fancy  dictated,  that  of  one  of  my  operas.  I  retreated  behind  the 
scenes,  to  encounter  very  nearly  as  much,  and  at  closer  quarters,  too, 
as  that  lately  sustained  before  the  audience.  After  an  embrace  uf 
two  minutes'  duration  from  the  manager,  I  ran  the  gantlet  from  tlio 
prima  donna  to  the  last  triangle  of  the  orchestra,  who  cut  away  a 
back  button  of  my  coat  as  a  "  souvenir."  During  all  this,  1  must 
confess,  very  little  acting  was  needed  on  my  part.  They  were  so 


300  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

perfectly  contented  with  their  self-deception,  that  if  I  had  made  an 
affidavit  before  the  mayor — if  there  be  such  a  functionary  in  such  an 
insane  town — they  would  not  have  believed  me.  Wearied  and  ex- 
hausted at  length  by  all  I  had  gone  through,  I  sat  down  upon  a 
bench,  and,  affecting  to  be  overcome  by  my  feelings,  concealed  my 
face  in  my  handkerchief.  This  was  the  first  moment  of  relief  I  ex- 
perienced since  my  arrival ;  but  it  was  not  to  last  long,  for  the  man- 
ager, putting  down  his  head  close  to  my  ear,  whispered : 

' '  Monsieur  Meerberger,  I  have  a  surprise  for  you — such  as  you  have 

not  had  for  some  time,  I  venture  to  say " 

"  I  defy  you  on  this  head,"  thought  I.     "If  they  make  me  out 

King  Solomon  now,  it  will  not  amaze  me " 

"  And  when  1  tell  you  my  secret,"  continued  he,  "you  will  ac- 
knowledge I  cannot  be  of  a  very  jealous  disposition.  Madame  Bap- 
tiste  has  just  told  me  she  knew  you  formerly,  and  that— she — that  is, 
you— were — in  fact,  you  understand — there  had  been — so  to  say— a 
jittle  '  amourette  '  between  you. " 

I  groaned  in  spirit  as  I  thought,  now  am  I  lost  without  a  chance 
of  escape — the  devil  take  her  reminiscences. 

"  I  see,"  continued  le  bon  rnari,  "you  cannot  guess  of  whom  I 
speak ;  but  when  I  tell  you  of  Amelie  Graudet,  your  memory  will, 
perhaps,  be  better." 

"  Amelie  Grandet!"  said  I,  with  a  stage  start.     I  need  not  say  that 
I  had  never  heard  the  name  before.     "  Amelie  Grandet  here!" 
"  Yes,  that  is  she,"  said  the  manager,  rubbing  his  hands-  "  and 

my  wife,  too " 

"Married!  Amelct  Grandet  married?  No,. no;  it  is  impossible— 
1  cannot  believe  it,  But  were  it  true — true,  mark  me — for  worlds 
•would  I  not  meet  her." 

"  Comment  il  estdrole,"  said  the  manager,  soliloquizing  aloud; 
"  for  my  wife  takes  it  much  easier,  seeing  they  never  met  each  other 
since  they  were  fifteen." 

"  Ho,  ho!"  thought  I,  "  the  affair  is  not  so  bad  either— time  makes 
great  changes  in  that  space.  And  does  she  still  remember  me?"  said 
I,  in  a  very  Romco-in-the-garden  voice. 

"  Why,  so  far  as  remembering  the  little  boy  that  used  to  play  with 
her  in  the  orchard  at  her  mother's  cottage  near  Pirua,  and  with  whom 
she  used  to  go  boating  upon  the  Elbe,  I  believe  the  recollection  is 
perfect.  But  come  along— she  insists  upon  seeing  you,  and  is  this 
very  moment  waiting  supper  in  our  room  for  you." 

"  A  thorough  German  she  must  be,"  thought  I,  "  with  her  sym- 
pathies and  her  supper— her  reminiscences  and  her  Rhine  wine  hunt- 
ing in  couples  through  her  brain." 

Summoning  courage  from  the  fact  of  our  long  absence  from  each 
other,  I  followed  the  manager  through  a  wilderness  of  pavilions, 
forests,  clouds,  and  cataracts,  and  at  length  arrived  at  a  little  door' 
at  which  he  knocked  gently. 

"Come  in,  "said  a  soft  voice  inside.  We  opened,  and  beheld  a 
very  beautiful  young  woman  in  Tyrol ese  costume.  She  was  to  per- 
form, in  the  afterpiece— hex  low  bodice  ami  short  scarlet  petticoat 
displaying  the  most  perfect  symmeiry  of  form,  and  roundness  of  pro- 
portion. She  was  dressing  her  hair  before  a.  low  glass  as  we  came  in, 
and  scarcely  turned  at  our  approach;  but  iu  an  instant,  as  if  some 


HAKRY    LORREQUER.  301 

sudden  thought  had  struck  her,  she  sprung  fulry  round,  and  looking 
at  me  fixedly  for  above  a  minute — very  trying  one  for  me — she 
glanced  at  her  husband,  whose  countenance  plainly  indicated  that 
she  was  right,  and  calling  out,  "  C'est  hii — c'est  Men  lui,"  threw  her- 
self into  my  arms,  and  sobbed  convulsively. 

"  If  this  were  to  be  the  only  fruits  of  my  impersonation,"  thought 
I,  "it  is  not  so  bad — but  I  am  greatly  afraid  these  good  people  will 
find  out  a  wife  and  seven  babies  for  me  before  morning." 

Whether  the  manager  thought  that  enough  had  been  done  for  stage 
effect,  I  know  not;  but  he  gently  disengaged  the  lovely  Amelie,  and 
deposited  her  upon  a  sofa,  to  a  place  upon  which  she  speedily  mo- 
tioned me  by  a  look  from  a  pair  of  very  seducing  blue  eyes. 

' '  Francois,  mon  cher,  you  must  put  off  La  Chaumiere.  I  can't 
play  to-night." 

"  Put  it  off!  But  only  think  of  the  audience,  ma  mie — they  will 
pull  down  the  house." 

"C'est  possible,"  said  she,  carelessly.  "If  that  will  give  them 
any  pleasure,  I  suppose  the}7  must  be  indulged;  but  I,  too,  must  have 
a  little  of  my  own  way.  1  shall  not  play." 

The  tone  this  was  said  in — the  look-  -the  easy  gesture  of  command 
—no  less  than  the  afflicted  helplessness  of  the  luckless  husband, 
showed  me  that  Amelie,  however  docile  as  a  sweetheart,  had  certainly 
her  own  way  as  a  wife. 

While  Le  cher  Francois  then  retired,  to  make  his  proposition  to  the 
audience  of  substituting  something  for  the  Chaumiere — the  "  sudden 
illness  of  Madame  Baptiste  having  prevented  her  appearance  " — we 
began  to  renew  our  old  acquaintance  by  a  thousand  inquiries  from 
that  long-past  time  when  we  were  sweethearts  and  lovers. 

"  You  remember  me,  then,  so  well?"  said  I. 

"As  of  yesterday.  You  are  much  taller,  and  your  eyes  darker; 
but  still — there  is  something.  You  know,  however,  I  have  been  ex- 
pecting to  see  you  these  two  days ;  and  tell  me  frankly,  how  do  you 
find  me  looking?" 

"  More  beautiful,  a  thousand  times  more  beautiful  than  ever — all 
save  in  one  thing,  Amelie." 

"  And  that  is " 

"  You  are  married." 

"  How  you  jest.  But  let  us  look  back.  Do  you  ever  think  on  any 
of  our  old  compacts?"  Here  she  pulled  a  leaf  from  a  rosebud  in  her 
bouquet,  and  kissed  it.  "I  wager  that  you  have  forgotten  that." 

How  I  should  have  replied  to  this  masonic  sign,  God  knows;  but 
the  manager  fortunately  entered,  to  assure  us  that  the  audience  had 
kindly  consented  not  to  pull  down  the  house,  but  to  listen  to  a  five- 
act  tragedy  instead,  in  which  he  had  to  perform  the  principal  charac- 
ter. "  So,  then,  don't  wait  supper,  Amelie;  but  take  care  of  Mon- 
sieur Mecrberger  till  my  return." 

Thus,  once  more  were  we  left  to  our  souvenirs,  in  which  whenever 
hard  pushed  myself,  1  regularly  carried  the  war  into  the  enemy's 
camp,  by  allusions  to  incidents,  which  I  need  not  observe  had  never 
occurred.  After  a  thousand  stories  of  our  early  loves,  mingled  with, 
an  occasional  sigh  over  their  fleeting  character — now  indulging  a  • 
soft  retrospect  of  the  once  happy  past— now  moralizing  on  the 


302  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

future— Amelie  and  I  chatted  away  the  hours  till  the-conclusion  of 
the  tragedy. 

By  this  time  the  hour  was  approaching  for  my  departure;  so,  after 
a  very  tender  leave-taking  with  my  new  friend  and  my  old  love,  I 
left  the  theater,  and  walked  slowly  along  to  the  river. 

"So  much  for  early  associations,"  thought  I;  "  and  how  much 
better  pleased  are  we  ever  to  paint  the  past  according  to  our  own 
fancy  than  to  remember  it  as  it  really  was.  Hence  all  the  insuffera- 
ble cant  about  happy  infancy  and  'the  glorious  school-boy  days,' 
which  have  generally  no  more  foundation  in  the  fact  than  have'the 
'  Chfiteaus  en  Espagne  '  we  build  up  for  the  future.  I  wager  that 
the  real  Amant  d'Enfance,  when  he  arrives,  is  not  half  so  great  a 
friend  with  the  fair  Amelie  as  his  unworthy  shadow.  At  the  same 
time,  I  had  just  a.s  scou  that  Lady  Jane  should  have  no  ""premiers 
amours '  to  look  back  upon,  except  such  as  I  have  performed  a 
character  in." 

The  plash  of  oars  near  me  broke  up  my  reflections,  and  the  next 
moment  found  me  skimming  the  rapid  Rhine  as  I  thought,  for  the 
last  time.  What  will  they  say  in  Strasbourg  to-morrow?  How  will 
they  account  for  the  mysterious  disappearance  of  Monsieur  Meerbor- 
ger?  Poor  Amelie  Grandet!  For  so  completely  had  the  late  inci- 
dents engrossed  my  attention  that  I  had  for  the  moment  lost  sight  of 
the  most  singular  event  of  all — how  1  came  to  be  mistaken  for  the 
illustrious  composer. 


CHAPTER  L. 

A  SURPRISE. 

IT  was  late  upon  the  following  day  ere  I  awoke  from  the  long, 
deep  sleep  that  closed  my  labors  in  Strasbourg.  In  the  confusion  of 
my  waking  thoughts,  I  imagined  myself  still  before  a  crowded  and 
enthusiastic  audience— the  glare  of  the  foot-lights — the  crash  of  the 
orchestra — the  shouts  of  '  I'Auteur,"  "VAuteur,"  were  all  before 
me,  and  so  completely  possessed  me,  that,  as  the  waiter  entered  with 
hot  water,  I  could  not  resist  the  impulse  to  pull  off  my  night-cap 
with  one  hand,  and  press  the  other  to  my  heart  in  the  usual  theat- 
rical style  of  acknowledgments  for  a  most  llattering  reception.  The 
startled  look  of  the  poor  fellow,  as  he  nearcd  the  door  to  escape, 
roused  me  from  my  hallucination,  and  awakened  me  to  the  convic- 
tion that  the  suspicion  of  lunacy  might  be  a  still  heavier  infliction 
than  the  personation  of  Monsieur  Meerberger. 

With  thoughts  of  this .  nature,  I  assumed  my  steadiest  demeanor 
— ordered  my  breakfast  in  the  most  orthodox  fashion — eat  it  like  a 
man  in  his  senses ;  and  when  I  threw  myself  back  in  the  wicker 
conveniency  they  called  a  caleche,  and  bid  adieu  to  Kehl,  the  whole 
fraternity  of  the  inn  woiild  have  given  me  a  certificate  of  sanity  be- 
fore any  court  in  Europe. 

"  Now  for  Munich,"  said  I,  as  we  rattled  along  down  the  steep 
street  of  the  little  town.  "  Now  for  Munich,  with  all  the  speed  that 
first  of  postmasters  and  slowest  of  men,  the  Prince  of  Tour  and 
Taxis,  will  afford  us." 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  303 

The  future  engrossed  all  my  thoughts;  and  puzzling  as  my  late 
adventures  had  bteu  to  account  for,  I  never  for  a  moment  reverted 
to  the  past.  "  Is  she  to  be  mine?"  was  the  ever-rising  question  in 
my  mind.  The  thousand  difficulties  that  had  crossed  my  path  might 
long  since  have  terminated  a  pursuit  where  there  was  so  little  of 
promise,  did  I  not  cherish  the  idea  in  my  heart,  that  I  was  fated  to 
succeed.  Sheridan  answered  the  ribald  sneers  of  his  first  auditory, 

by  saying,    "Laugh  on;  hut   I  have  it  in  me,  and  hy it  shall 

come  out."  So  I~whispered  to  myself :  Go  on,  Harry.  Luck  has 
been  hitherto  against  you,  it  is  true;  hut  you  have  yet  one  throw  of 
the  dice,  and  something  seems  to  say  a  fortunate  one,  in  store;  and, 
if  so — hut  I  cannot  trust  myself  with  such  anticipations.  I  am  well 
aware  how  little  the  world  sympathizes  with  the  man  whose  fort- 
unes are  the  sport  of  his  temperament — that  April  day  frame  of 
Blind  is  ever  the  jest  and  scoff  of  those  hardier  and  sterner  natures, 
who,  if  never  overjoyed  hy  success,  are  never  much  depressed  by 
failure.  That  I  have  been  cast  in  the  former  mold,  these  Confes- 
sions have,  alas!  plainly  proved;  but  that  I  regret  it,  I  fear  also,  for 
my  character  for  sound  judgment,  I  must  answer  "  No," 

"  Better  far  to  be, 

In  utter  darkness  lying, 
Than  be  blest  with  light  and  see 
That  light  forever  flying," 

is,  doubtless,  very  pretty  poetry,  but  very  poor  philosophy.  For 
myself,  and  some  glimpses  of  sunshine  this  fair  world  has  afforded 
me,  fleeting  and  passing  enough,  in  all  conscience,  and  yet  I  am  not 
so  ungrateful  as  to  repine  at  my  happiness,  because  it  was  not  per- 
manent; as  I  am  thankful  for  those  bright  hours  of  "  Love's  young 
dream,"  which,  if  nothing  more,  are  at  least  delightful  souvenirs. 
They  form  the  golden  thread  in  the  tangled  web  of  our  existence, 
ever  appearing  amid  the  darker  surface  around,  and  throwing  a  fair 
halo  of  brilliancy  on  what,  without  it,  were  cold,  bleak,  and  barren. 
No,  no— 

"  The  light  that  lies 
In  woman's  eyes," 

were  it  twice  as  fleeting,  as  it  is  ten  times  more  brilliant  than  the 
forked  lightning,  irradiates  the  dark  gloom  within  us  for  many  a 
long  day  after  it  has  ceased  to  shine  upon  us.  As  in  boyhood  it  is 
Hie  humiliating  influence  that  tempers  the  fierce  and  unruly  pas- 
sions of  our  nature,  so,  in  manhood,  it  forms  the  goal  to  which  all 
our  better  and  higher  aspirations  tend,  telling  us  there  is  something 
more  worthy  than  gold,  and  a  more  lofty  pinnacle  of  ambition  than 
the  praise  and  envy  of  our  fellow-men:  and  we  may  rest  as- 
sured, that  when  this  feeling  dies  within  us,  all  the  ideal  of 
life  dies  with  it,  and  nothing  remains  save  the  dull  reality  of  our 
daily  cares  and  occupations.  "  I  have  lived  and  have  loved,"  saith 
Schiller;  and  if  it  were  not  that  there  seems  some  tautology  in  the 
pli  rase,  I  should  say,  such  is  my  own  motto.  If  Lady  Jane  but 
prove  true— if  I  have  really  succeeded — if.  in  a  word — but  why 
speculate  upon  such  chances? — what  pretensions  have  1? — what  rea- 
son to  look  for  such  a  prize?  Alas!  and  alas!  were  I  to  catechise 


304  HAKKT    LORREQUER. 

myself  too  closely,  I  fear  that  my  horses'  heads  would  face  toward 
Calais,  and  that  1  should  turn  my  back  \ipon  the  only  prospect  of 
happiness  I  can  picture  to  myself  in  this  world.  In  reflections  such 
as  these,  the  hours  rolled  over,  and  it  was  already  late  at  night  when 
we  reached  the  little  village  of  Merchem.  While  fresh  horees  were 
being  got  ready,  I  seized  the  occasion  to  partake  of  the  table  d'hote 
supper  of  the  inn,  at  the  door  of  which  the  diligence  was  drawn  up. 
Around  the  long,  acd  not  over-scrupulously  clean  table,  sat  the 
usual  assemblage  of  German  "  Eilwagen" — smoking,  dressing  salad, 
knitting,  and  occasionally  picking  their  teeth  with  their  forks,  until 
the  soup  should  make  its  appearance.  Taking  my  place  amid  this 
motley  assemblage  of  mustachioed  shopkeepers  and  voluminously- 
petticoated  fraus,  I  sat  calculating  how  long  human  patience  could 
endure  such  companionship,  when  my  attention  was  aroused  by 
hearing  a  person  near  me  narrate  to  his  friend  the  circumstances  of 
my  debut  at  Strasbourg,  with  certain  marginal  notes  of  his  own  that 
not  a  little  surprised  me. 

"  And  so  it  turned  out  not  to  be  Meerberger,  after  all,"  said  the 
listener. 

"  Of  course  not,"  replied  the  other.  "  Meerberger's  passport  was 
stolen  from  him  in  the  diligence  by  this  English  escroc,  and  the  con- 
sequence was,  that  our  poor  countryman  was  arrested,  the  other  pass- 
port being  found  upon  him,  while  the  Englishman,  proceeding  to 
Strasbourg,  took  his  benefit  at  the  opera,  and  walked  away  with 
about  twelve  thousand  florins." 

"  Sappermint,"  said  the  other,  tossing  off  his  beer.  "He  must 
have  been  a  clever  fellow,  though,  to  lead  the  orchestra  in  the  Francs 
Macons. " 

"  That  is  the  most  astonishing  part  of  all;  for  they  say  in  Stras- 
bourg that  his  performance  upon  the  violin  was  far  finer  than  Paga- 
nini's;  but  there  seems  some  secret  in  it,  after  all;  for  Madame  Bap- 
tiste  swears  that  he  is  Meerberger;  and  in  fact  the  matter  is  far  from 
being  cleared  up — nor  can  it  be  till  he  is  apprehended." 

"  Which  shall  not  be  for  sometime  to  come,"  said  I  to  myself,  as, 
slipping  noiselessly  from  the  room,  I  regained  my  "  caliche,"  and  in 
ten  minutes  more  was  proceeding  on  my  journey.  So  much  for 
correct  information,  thought  I.  One  thing,  however,  is  certain — to 
*Jie  ehance  interchange  of  passports  I  owe  my  safety,  with  the  addi- 
tional satisfaction  that  my  little  German  acquaintance  is  reaping  a 
pU-asant  retribution  for  all  his  worry  and  annoyance  of  me  in  the 
eeupe. 

Only  he  who  has  toiled  over  the  weary  miles  of  a  long  journey — 
exclusively  occupied  with  one  thought — one  overpowering  feeling — 
can  adequately  commiserate  my  impatient  anxiety  as  the  days  roiled 
slowly  over  on  the  long  tiresome  road  that  leads  from  the  Rhine  to 
the  south,  of  Germany. 

The  morning  was  breaking  on  the  fourth  day  of  my  journey  as  the 
tall  spires  of  Munich  rose  1o  my  view,  amid  the  dull"  and  arid  desert 
of  s::nd  that  city  is  placed  in.  At  last!  was  my  exclamation  as  the 
postilion  tapped  at  the  window  with  his  whip,  and  then  pointed 
toward  the  city.  At  last!  Oh!  what  would  be  the  ecstasy  of  my 
feelings  now,  could  I  exchange  the  torturing  anxieties  of  suspense 
for  the  glorious  certainty  my  heart  throbs  for;  now  my  journey  is 


HAHRT    L011REQTJER.  305 

nearing  its  end  to  see  me  claim  as  my  own  what  I  now  barely  aspire 
to  in  the  sanguine  hope  of  a  heart  that  will  not  despair.  But  cheer 
tip,  Harry.  It  is  a  noble  stake  you  play  for,  and  it  is  ever  the  bold 
gambler  that  •wins.  Scarcely  was  this  reflection  made,  half  aloud, 
when  a  sudden  shock  threw  me  from  my  seat.  I  fell  toward  the 
door,  which,  bursting  open,  launched  me  out  upon  the  road,  at  the 
same  moment  that  the  broken  axle-tree  of  the  caleche  had  upset  it 
on  the  opposite  side,  carrying  one  horse  along  wTith  it,  and  leaving 
the  other  with  the  postilion  on  his  back,  kicking  and  plunging  with 
all  his  might.  After  assisting  the  frightened  fellow  to  dismount, 
and  having  cut  the  traces  of  the  restive  animal,  I  then  perceived  that 
in  the  meltfe  I  had  not  escaped  scathless.  I  could  barely  stand ;  and, 
on  passing  my  hand  upon  my  instep,  perceived  I  had  sprained  my 
ankle  in  the  fall.  The  day  was  only  breaking,  no  one  was  in  sight,  so 
that  after  a  few  minutes'  consideration,  the  best  thing  to  do  appeared 
to  be  to  get  the  other  horse  upon  his  legs,  and  dispatching  the  pos- 
tilion to  Munich,  then  about  three  leagues  distant,  for  a  carriage, 
wait  patiently  on  the  roadside  for  his  return.  No  sooner  was  the  re- 
solve made  than  carried  into  execution,  and  in  less  than  a  quarter  of 
an  hour  from  the  moment  of  the  accident  I  was  seated  upon  the 
bank,  watching  the  retiring  figure  of  the  postilion,  as  he  disappeared 
down  a  hill,  on  his  way  to  Munich.  When  the  momentary  burst  of 
impatience  was  over,  I  could  not  help  congratulating  myself  that  I 
was  so  far  fortunate  in  reaching  the  end  of  my  journey  ere  the  mis- 
chance befell  me.  Had  it  occurred  at  Stuttgart,  I  really  think  that 
it  would  have  half  driven  me  distracted. 

I  was  not  long  in  my  present  situation  till  a  number  of  peasants, 
with  broad-brimmed  hats,  and  many-buttoned  coats,  passed  on  their 
way  to  work;  they  all  saluted  me  respectfully;  but  although  they 
saw  the  broken  carriage,  and  might  well  guess  at  the  nature  of  my 
accident,  yet  not  one  ever  thought  of  proffering  his  services,  or  even 
indulging  curiosity,  by  way  of  inquiry.  "  How  thoroughly  Ger- 
man," thought  I;  "  these  people  are  the  Turks  of  Europe,  stupefied 
with  tobacco  and  '  starkes  bier. '  They  have  no  thought  for  any- 
thing but  themselves,  and  their  own  immediate  occupations."  Per- 
ceiving at  length  one  whose  better  dress  and  more  intelligent  look 
bespoke  a  rank  above  the  common,  1  made  the  effort  with  such 
"  platt  deutch  "  as  I  could  muster,  to  ask  if  there  were  any- house 
near,  where  I  could  remain  till  the  postilion's  return?  and  learned, 
greatly  to  my  gratification,  that  by  taking  the  path  which  led  through 
a  grove  of  pine  trees  near  me,  I  should  find  a  chateau,  but  who  was 
the  proprietor  he  knew  not;  indeed  the  people  were  only  newly 
come,  and  he  believed  were  foreigners.  English  he  thought.  Oh, 
how  my  heart  jumped  as  I  said,  "  Can  they  be  the  Callonbys;  are 
they  many  in  the  family;  are  there  ladies — young  ladies,  among 
them?"— he  knew  not.  Having  hastily  arranged  with  my  new  friend 
to  watch  the  carriage  till  my  return,  I  took  the  path  he  showed  me, 
and  smarting  with  pain  at  every  step,  hurried  along  as  best  I  could 
toward  the  chateau.  I  had  not  walked  many  minutes,  when  a  break 
in  the  wood  gave  me  a  view  of  the  old  mansion,  and  at  once  dispelled 
the  illusion  that  was  momentarily  gaining  upon  me.  "  They  could 
not  be  the  Callonbys."  The  house  was  old;  and  though  it  had  once 
been  a  fine  and  handsome  structure,  exhibited  now  abundant  traces 


306  HARRY    LORREQtTER, 

of  decay;  the  rich  cornices  which  supported  the  roof  had  fallen  in 
many  places,  and  lay  in  fragments  upon  the  terrace  beneath ;  the 
portico  of  the  door  was  half  tumbling;  and  the  architraves  of  the 
windows  were  broken  and  dismantled,  the  tall  and  once  richly  orna- 
mented chimneys  were  bereft  of  all  their  tracery,  and  stood  bolt  up- 
right in  all  their  nakedness  above  the  high  pitched  roof.  A  strag- 
gling "  jet  d'eau  "was  vigorously  fighting  its  way  amid  a  mass  of 
creeping  shrubs  and  luxuriant  lichens  that  had  grown  around  and 
above  a  richly  carved  fountain,  and  fell  in  a  shower  of  sparkling  dew 
upon  the  rank  grass  and  tall  weeds  around.  The  gentle  murmur 
was  the  only  sound  that  broke  the  stillness  of  the  morning. 

A  few  deities  in  lead  and  stone,  mutilated  and  broken,  stood  like 
the  Genii  loci,  guarding  the  desolation  about  them,  where  an  old, 
superannuated  peacock,  with  drooping,  ragged  tail,  was  the  only  liv- 
ing thing  to  be  seen.  All  bespoke  the  wreck  of  what  once  was  great 
and  noble,  and  all  plainly  told  me  that  such  could  not  be  the  abode 
of  the  Callonbys. 

Half  doubting  that  the  house  was  inhabited,  and  half  scrupling,  if 
so,  to  disturb  the  inmates  from  their  rest,  I  sat  down  upon  the  ter- 
race steps  and  fell  into  a  fit  of  musing  on  the  objects  about.     That 
strange  propensity  of  my  countrymen  to  settle  down  in  remote  and 
unfrequented  spots  upon  the  continent  had  never  struck  me  so  for- 
cibly; for  although  unquestionably  there  were  evident  traces  of  the 
former  grandeur  of  the  place,  yet  it  was  a  long  past  greatness ;  and  in 
the  dilapidated  walls,  broken  statues,  weed-grown  walks,  and  dark  and 
tangled  pine  grove,  there  were  more  hints  for  sadness  than  I  should 
willingly  surround  myself  by  in  a  residence.     The  harsh  grating  of 
a  heavy  door  behind  roused  me.     I  turned  and  beheld  an  old  man  in 
a  species  of  tarnished  and  worm-eaten  livery,  who,  holding  the  door, 
again  gazed  at  me  with  a  mingled  expression  of  fear  and  curiosity. 
Having  briefly  explained  the  circumstances  which  had  befallen  me, 
and  appealed  to  the  broken  caleche  upon  the  road  to  corroborate  a 
testimony  that  I  perceived  needed  such  aid,  the  old  man  invited  me 
to  enter,  saying  that  his  master  and  mistress  were  not  risen,  but  that 
he  would  himself  give  me  some  breakfast,  of  which  by  ibis  time  I 
stood  much  in  want.     The  room  into  which  I  was  ushered  corre- 
sponded well  with  the  exterior  of  the  house.     It  was  large,  bleak, 
and  ill-furnished;  the  ample,  uncurtained  windows;  the  cold,  white 
paneled  walls;   the  uncarpeted  floor;   all  giving  it  an  air  of  unin- 
habited misery.     A  few  chairs  of  the  Louis  Quatorze  taste,  with  blue 
velvet  linings,  faded  and  worn,  a  cracked  marble  table  upon  legs 
that  once  had  been  gilt;  two  scarcely  detectable  portraits  of  a  mail- 
clad  hero  and  a  scarcely  less  formidable  fair,  with  a  dove  upon  her 
wrist,  formed  the  principal  articles  of  furniture  in  the  dismal  abode, 
where  so  triste  and  depressing  did  everything  appear,  that  I  half  re- 
gretted the  curiosity  that  had  tempted'  me  from  the  balmy  air  and 
cheerful  morning  without,  to  the  gloom  and  solitude  arouna  me. 

The  old  man  soon  reappeared  with  a  not  despicable  cup  of  "  Cafe 
noir,"  and  a  piece  of  bread  as  large  as  a  teaspoon,  and  used  by  the 
Germans  pretty  much  hi  the  same  way.  As  the  adage  of  the  "  gift 
horse  "is  of  tolerably  general  acceptation,  I  eat  and  was  thankful, 
mingling  my  acknowledgments  from  time  to  time  with  some  ques- 
tions about  the  owners  of  the  mansion,  concerning  whom  I  could  not 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  307 

help  feeling  curious.  The  ancient  servitor,  however,  knew  little  or 
nothing  of  those  he  served;  his  master  was  the  honorable  baron;  but 
of  his  name  he  was  ignorant ;  his  mistress  was  young ;  they  had  not 
been  many  months  there ;  they  knew  no  one — had  no  visitors — he 
had  heard  they  were  English,  but  did  not  know  it  himself;  they 
were  "  gute  Leute"  "good  people,"  and  that  was  enough  for 
him.  How  strange  did  all  this  seem,  that  two  people,  young  too, 
should  separate  themselves  from  all  the  attractions  and  pleasures  of 
the  world,  and  settle  down  in  the  dark  and  dreary  solitude,  where 
every  association  was  of  melancholy,  every  object  a  text  for  sad  re- 
flections. Lost  in  these  thoughts  I  sat  down  beside  the  window,  and 
heeded  not  the  old  man  as  he  noiselessly  left  the  room.  My  thought* 
ran  over  the  strange  phases  in  which  life  presents  itself,  and  how  lit- 
tle, after  all  external  influences  have  to  do  with  that  peace  of  mjnd 
whose  origin  is  within.  The  Indian  whose  wigwam  is  beside  the 
cataract  heeds  not  its  thunders,  nor  feels  its  sprays  as  they  fall  in 
everlasting  dews  upon  him;  the  Arab  of  the  desert  sees  no  bleaknesi 
in  those  never-ending  plains,  upon  whose  horizon  his  eye  has  rested 
from  childhood  to  age.  Who  knows  but  he  who  inhabits  this  lonely 
dwelling  may  have  once  shone  in  the  gay  world,  mixing  in  its  follies, 
tasting  of  its  fascination;  and  to  think  that  now — the  low  murmurs 
of  the  pine  tops,  the  gentle  rustle  of  the  water  through  the  rank 
grass,  and  my  own  thoughts  combining,  overcame  me  at  length,  and 
I  slept---how  long  I  know  not;  but  when  I  awoke,  certain  changes 
about  showed  me  that  souie  length  of  time  had  elapsed ;  a  gay  wood 
tire  was  burning  on  the  hearth;  an  am  pie  breakfast  covered  the  table; 
and  the  broad  sheet  of  the  "  Times  "  newspaper  was  negligently  re- 
posing in  the  deep  hollow  of  an  arm  chair.  Before  I  had  well 
thought  how  to  apologize  for  the  cool  insouciance  of  my  intrusion, 
the  door  opened,  and  a  tall,  well-built  man  entered;  his  shooting 
jacket  and  gaiters  were  evidence  of  his  English  origin,  while  a  bushy 
mustache  and  most  ample  "Henri  Quatre "  nearly  concealed  feat- 
ures that  still  were  not  quite  unknown  to  me;  he  stopped,  looked 
steadily  at  me,  placed  a  hand  on  either  shoulder,  and  calling  out, 
'  Harry — Hany  Lorrequer,  by  all  that's  glorious,"  rushed  from  the 
room  iu  a  transport  of  laughter. 

If  my  escape  from  the  gallows  depended  upon  my  guessing  my 
friend,  I  should  have  submitted  to  the  last  penalty  of  the  law;  never 
was  I  so  completely  nonplussed.  Confound  him,  what  does  he  mean 
by  running  away  in  that  fashion?  It  \vould  serve  him  right  were  I 
to  decamp  by  one  of  the  windows  before  he  comes  back;  but  hark! 
some  one  is  approaching. 

"  I  tell  you  I  cannot  be  mistaken,"  said  the  man's  voice  from  with- 
out. 

"  Oh,  impossible!"  said  a  lady-like  accent  that  seemed  not  heard 
by  me  for  the  first  time. 

"  Judge  for  yourself;  though  certainly  the  last  time  you  saw  him 
may  confuse  your  memory  a  little." 

"  What  the  devil  does  he  mean  by  that?"  said  I,  as  the  door  opened, 
and  a  very  beautiful  young  woman  came  forward,  who,  after  a 
moment's  hesitation,  called  out: 

"  True,  indeed,  it  is  Mr.  Lorrequer,  but  he  seems  to  have  forgot- 
ten me.". 


308  HAREY    LORREQUER. 

The  eyes,  the  lips,  the  tone  of  the  voice,  were  all  familiar.  What! 
can  it  be  possible?  Her  companion,  who  had  now  entered,  stood 
behind  her,  holding  his  sides  with  ill-suppressed  mirth ;  and  at  length 
called  out: 

"Harry,  my  boy,  you  scarcely  were  more  discomposed  the  last 
morning  we  parted,  when  the  yellow  plush " 

"  By  Jove,  it  is,"  said  I,  as  I  sprang  forward,  and  seizing  my  fab- 
friend  in  my  arms,  saluted  upon  both  cheeks  my  quondam  flame, 
Miss  Kamworth,  now  the  wife  of  my  old  friend,  Jack  Waller,  of 
whom  I  have  made  due  mention  in  an  early  chapter  of  these  Con- 
fessions. 

Were  I  given  a  muster  roll  of  my  acquaintances,  to  say  which  of 
them  might  inhabit  this  deserted  mansion,  Jack  Waller  would  cer- 
tainly have  been  the  last  1  should  have  selected— the  gay,  lively, 
dashing,  high  spirited  Jack,  fond  of  society,  dress,  equipage,  living 
greatly  in  the  world,  known  to  and  liked  by  everybody,  of  universal 
reputation.  Did  you  want  a  cavalier  to  see  your  wife  through  a 
crush  at  the  opera'  a  friend  in  a  duel,  a  rider  for  your  kicking  horse 
in  a  stiff  steeple  chase,  a  bow  oar  for  your  boat  at  a  rowing  match, 
Jack  was  your  man.  Such,  then,  was  my  surprise  at  finding  him 
here,  that  although  there  were  many  things  I  longed  to  inquire  about, 
my  first  question  was: 

"  And  how  came  you  here?" 

"Life  has  its  vicissitudes,"  replied  Jack,  laughing;  "many  stran- 
ger things  have  come  to  pass  than  my  reformation.  But  first  of  all, 
let  us  think  of  breakfast ;  you  shall  have  ample  satisfaction  for  all 
your  curiosity  afterward." 

"  Not  now,  I  fear;  I  am  hurrying  on  to  Munich." 

"Oh,  I  perceive;  but  you  are  aware  that — your  friends  are  not 
there?" 

"  The  Callonbys  not  at  Munich!"  said  1,  with  a  start. 

"  No;  they  have  been  at  Saltzburgh,  in  the  Tyrol,  for  some  weeks ; 
but  don't  fret  yourself,  they  are  expected  to-morrow  in  time  for  the 
court  masquerade;  so  that,  until  then,  at  least,  you  are  my  guest." 

Overjoyed  at  this  information,  I  turned  my  attention  toward 
madame,  whom  I  found  much  improved ;  the  embonpoint  of  woman- 
hood had  still  further  increased  the  charms  of  one  who  had  always 
been  handsome;  and  I  could  not  help  acknowledging  that  my  friend 
Jack  was  warrantable  in  any  scheme  for  securing  such  a  prize. 


CHAPTER  LI. 
JACK  WALLAR'S  STORY. 

THE  day  passed  quickly  over  with  my  newly-found  friends,  whose 
curiosity  to  learn  my  adventures  since  we  parted  anticipated  me  in 
my  wish  to  learn  theirs.  After  an  early  dinner,  however,  with  a 
fresh  log  upon  the  hearth,  a  crusty  flask  of  red  hermitage-  before  us, 
Jack  and  1  found  ourselves  alone,  and  at  liberty  to  speak  freely  to- 
gether. 

"  I  scarcely  could  have  expected  such  would  be  our  meeting^ 
Jack,"  said  I,  "  from  the  way  \ve  last  parted." 


HARRY  LORREQTJER.  309 

"  Yes,  by  Jove,  Harry;  I  believe  I  behaved  but  shabbily  to  you 
in  that  affair;  but '  Love  and  War,'  you  know;  and,  besides,  we  had 
a  distinct  agreement  drawn  up  between  us." 

"  All  true;  and  after  all  you  are  perhaps  less  to  blame  than  my 
own  miserable  fortune,  that  lies  in  wait  to  entrap  and  disappoint  me 
at  every  turn  in  life.  Tell  me,  what  do  you  know  of  the  Callonbys?" 

"  Nothing,  personally;  we  have  met  them  at  dinner,  a  visit  passed 
subsequently  between  us,  '  et  voilft  tout;'  they  have  been  scenery 
hunting,  picture  hunting,  and  all  that  sort  of  thing  since  their  arrival : 
and  rarely  much  in  Munich ;  but  how  do  you  stand  there,  to  be  or 
not  to  be— eh?" 

"  That  is  the  very  question  of  all  others  I  would  fain  solve;  and 
yet  am  in  most  complete  ignorance  of  all  about  it;  but  the  time  ap- 
proaches which  must  decide  all.  I  have  neither  temper  nor  patience 
for  further  contemplation  of  it;  so  here  goes,  success  to  the  enter- 
prise." 

"  Or,"  said  Jack,  tossing  off  his  glass  at  the  moment,  "  or,  as  they 
would  say  in  Ireland,  '  Your  health  and  inclinations,  it, they  be 
virtuous.'  ' 

"  And  DOW,  Jack,  tell  me  something  of  your  own  fortunes  since 
the  day  you  passed  me  in  the  post-chaise  and  four." 

"  The  story  is  soon  told,  You  remember  that  when  1  carried  oft 
Mary,  1  had  no  intention  of  leaving  England,  whatever;  my  object 
was,  after  making  ner  my  wife,  to  open  negotiations  with  the  old 
colonel,  and  after  the  approved  routine  of  penitential  letters  implor 
ing  forgiveness,  and  setting  forth  happiness,  only  wanting  his  sane 
tion  to  make  it  heaven  itself,  to  have  thrown  ourselves  at  his  feet, 
'  selon  les  regies,'  sobbed,  blubbered,  blew  our  noses  and  dressed  for 
dinner,  very  comfortable  inmates  of  that  particularly  snug  residence, 
4  Hydrabad  Cottage. '  Now  Mary,  who  behaved  with  great  courage 
for  a  couple  of  days,  after  that  got  low-spirited  and  depressed;  the 
desertion  of  her  father,  as  she  called  it,  weighed  upon  her  mind,  and 
all  my  endeavors  to  rally  and  comfort  her,  were  fruitless  and  una- 
vailing. Each  day,  however,  I  expected  to  hear  something  of  or 
from  the  colonel,  that  would  put  an  end  to  this  feeling  of  suspense; 
but  no:  three  weeks  rolled  on,  and  although  I  took  care  that  he 
knew  of  our  address,  we  never  received  an}-  communication.  You 
are  aware  that  when  I  married,  I  knew  Mary  had,  or  was  to  have, 
a  large  fortune;  and  that  I  myself  had  not  more  than  enough  in  the 
world  to  pay  the  common  expenses  of  our  wedding  tour.  My  calcu- 
lation was  this:  the  reconciliation  will  possibly,  what  with  delays  of 
post,  distance,  and  deliberation,  take  a  month — say  five  weeks;  now, 
at  forty  pounds  per  week,  that  makes  exactly  two  hundred  pounds 
— such  being  the  precise  limit  of  my  exchequer,  when,  blessed  with 
a  wife,  a  man  and  a  maid,  three  imperials,  a  cap-case,  and  a  poodle, 
I  arrived  at  the  Eoyal  Hotel,  in  Edinburgh.  Had  I  been  Lord 
Francis  Egerton,  with  his  hundred  thousand  a  year,  looking  for  a 
new  '  distraction,'  at  any  price;  or  still  more — were  I  a  London  ^hop- 
keeper,  spending  a  Sunday  in  Boulogne  sur  Mer,  and  trying  to  find 
out  something  expensive,  as  lie  had  only  one  day  to  stay,  I  could  not 
have  more  industriously  sought  out  opportunities  for  extravagance, 
and  each  day  contrived  to  lind  out  some  two  or  three  acquaintances 
to  bring  home  to  dinner.  And  as  I  affected  to  have  been  married 


310  HAEEY    LORREQUEIt 

for  a  long  time,  Mary  felt  loss  gSnee  among  strangers,  and  we  got 
on  famously;  still  the  silence  of  the  colonel  weighed  upon  her  mind, 
and  although  she  partook  of  none  of  my  anxieties  from  that  source, 
being  perfectly  ignorant  of  the  state  of  my  finances,  she  dwelt  so 
constantly  upon  this  subject,  that  I  at  length  yielded  to  her  repeated 
solicitations  and  permitted  her  to  write  to  her  father.  Her  letter 
was  a  most  proper  one;  combining  a  dutiful  regret  for  leaving  her 
home,  with  the  hope  that  her  choice  had  been  such  as  to  excuse  her 
rashness,  or  at  least,  palliate  her  fault.  It  went  on  to  say,  that  her 
father's  acknowledgment  of  her,  was  all  she  needed  or  cared  for,  to 
complete  her  happiness,  and  asking  for  his  permission  to  seek  it  in 
person.  This  was  the  substance  of  the  letter,  which  upon  the  whole 
satisfied  me,  and  I  waited  anxiously  for  the  reply.  At  the  end  of  five 
days  the  answer  arrived.  It  was  thus : 

"  '  DEAR  MARY,— You  have  chosen  your  own  path  in  life,  and 
having  done  so,  I  have  neither  the  right  nor  inclination  to  interfere 
with  your  decision;  I  shall  neither  receive  you  nor  the  person  you 
have  made  your  husband;  and  to  prevent  any  further  disappoint- 
ment, inform  you  that,  as  I  leave  this  to-morrow,  any  future  letters 
you  might  think  proper  to  address,  will  not  reach  me.  Yours  very 
faithful,  C.  KAMWORTH." 

"  Hydrabad  Cottage." 

"  This  was  a  tremendous  coup,  and  not  in  the  least  anticipated  by 
either  of  us;  upon  me  the  effect  was  stunning,  knowing  as  I  did, 
that  our  fast  diminishing  finances  were  nearly  expended.  Mary,  on 
the  other  hand,  who  neither  knew  nor  thought  of  the  exchequer, 
rallied  at  once  from  her  depression,  and  after  a  hearty  fit  of  crying, 
dried  her  eyes  and  putting  her  arms  round  my  neck,  said : 

"  '  Well,  Jack,  I  must  only  love  you  the  more,  since  papa  will  not 
share  any  of  my  affection. ' 

"  '  I  wish  he  would  his  purse,  though,'  muttered  I,  as  I  pressed 
her  in  my  arms,  and  strove  to  seem  perfectly  happy. 

"  I  shall  not  prolong  my  story  by  dwelling  upon  the  agitation  this 
letter  cost  me;  however,  I  had  yet  a  hundred  pounds  left,  and  an 
aunt  in  Harley-street,  with  whom  I  had  always  been  a  favorite.  This 
thought,  the  only  rallying  one  I  possessed,  saved  me  for  the  time ; 
and  as  fretting  was  never  my  forte,  I  never  let  Mary  perceive  that 
anything  had  gone  wrong,  and  managed  so  well  in  this  respect,  that 
my  good  spirits  raised  hers,  and  we  set  out  for  London  one  fine  sun- 
shiny morning,  as  happy  a  looking  couple  as  ever  traveled  the  north 
road. 

"  When  we  arrived  at  the  '  Clarendon,'  my  first  care  was  to  get 
into  a  cab,  and  drive  to  Harley-street.  I  rung  the  bell;  and  not 
waiting  to  ask  if  my  aunt  was  at  home,  I  dashed  up-stairs  to  the 
drawing-room ;  in  I  bolted,  and  instead  of  the  precise  old  Lady  Lil- 
ford  sitting  at  her  embroidery,  with  her  fat  poodle  beside  her,  beheld 
a  strapping  looking  fellow,  with  a  black  mustache,  making  fierce 
love  to  a  young  lady  on  a  sofa  beside  him. 

"  '  Why,  how  is  this — I  really— there  must  be  some  mistake  here.' 
In  my  heart  I  knew  that  such  doings  in  my  good  aunt's  dwelling 
were  impossible. 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  311 

"'I  should  suspect  there  is,' drawled  out  he  of  the  mustache, 
as  he  took  a  very  cool  survey  of  me  through  his  glass. 

"  '  Is  Lady  Lilford  at  home,  may  I  ask,'  said  I,  in  a  very  apologetic 
tone  of  voice. 

"  '  I  haven't  the  honor  of  her  ladyship's  acquaintance,'  replied  he 
in  a  lisp,  evidently  enjoying  my  perplexity,  which  was  every  moment 
becoming  more  evident. 

"  '  But  this  is  her  house,'  said  I,  '  at  least ' 

"  '  Lady  Lilford  is  at  Paris,  sir,'  said  the  young  lady,  who  now 
spoke  for  the  first  time.  '  Papa  has  taken  the  house  for  the  season, 
and  that  may  perhaps  account  for  your  mistake. ' 

"  What  I  muttered  by  way  of  apology  for  my  intrusion,  I  know 
not;  but  I  stammered — the  jroung  lady  blushed — the  beau  chuckled 
and  turned  to  the  window,  and  when  I  found  myself  in  the  street,  I 
scarcely  knew  whether  to  laugh  at  my  blunder,  or  curse  my  disap- 
pointment. 

"  The  next  morning  I  called  upon  my  aunt's  lawyer,  and  having 
obtained  her  address  in  Paris,  sauntered  to  the  '  Junior  Club, '  to 
write  her  a  letter  before  post  hour.  As  I  scanned  over  the  morning 
papers,  I  could  not  help  smiling  at  the  flaming^>aragraph  which 
announced  my  marriage  to  the  only  daughter  and  heiress  of  the  mil- 
lionaire, Colonel  Kamworth.  Not  well  knowing  how  to  open  the 
correspondence  with  my  worthy  relative,  I  folded  the  paper  contain- 
ing the  news,  and  addressed  it  to  '  Lady  Lilford,  Hotel  de  Bristol, 
Paris." 

"  When  I  arrived  at  the  'Clarendon,'  I  found  my  wife  and  her 
maid  surrounded  by  cases  and  bandboxes,  laces,  satins  and  velvets 
were  displayed  on  all  sides,  while  an  emissary  from  '  Storr  &  Morti- 
mer' was  arranging  a  grand  review  of  jewelry  on  a  side  table;  one 
half  of  which  would  have  ruined  the  Rajah  of  Mysore  to  purchase. 
My  advice  was  immediately  called  into  requisition;  and  pressed  into 
service,  I  had  nothing  left  for  it  but  to  canvass,  criticize,  and  praise, 
between  times,  which  I  did  with  a  good  grace,  considering  that  I 
anticipated  the  '  Fleet'  for  eveiy  flounce  of  Valenciennes  lace;  and 
could  not  help  associating  a  rich  diamond  aigrette,  with  hard  labor 
for  life,  and  the  climate  of  New  South  Wales.  The  utter  abstraction 
I  was  in  led  to  some  awkward  contretemps;  and  as  my  wife's  enthu- 
siasm for  the  purchases  increased,  so  did  my  reverie  gain  ground. 

"  'Is  it  not  beautiful,  Jack — how  delicately  worked — it  must  have 
taken  a  long  time  to  do  it!' 

"  '  Seven  years,'  I  muttered,  as  my  thoughts  ran  upon  a  very 
different  topic. 

"  '  Oh,  no — not  so  much,'  said  she,  laughing; '  and  it  must  be  such 
a  hard  thing  to  do. ' 

'  Not  half  so  hard  as  carding  wool,  or  pounding  oyster  shells.' 

"  '  How  absurd  you  are.  Well,  I'll  take  this,  it  will  look  so  well 
in ' 

1  '  Botany  Bay, '  said  I,  with  a  sigh,  that  set  all  the  party  laughing, 
which  at  last  roused  me,  and  enabled  me  to  join  in  the  joke. 

"  As,  at  length,  one  half  of  the  room  became  filled  with  millinery 
and  the  other  glittered  with  jewels  and  bijouterie,  my  wife  grew 
weary  with  her  exertions,  and  we  found  ourselves  alone. 

"  When  I  told  her  that  my  aunt  hud  taken  up  her  residence  in. 


312  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

Paris,  it  immediately  occurred  to  her  how  pleasant  it  would  be  to  go 
there,  too;  and,  although  I  concurred  in  the  opinion  for  very  differ- 
ent reasons,  it  was  at  length  decided  we  should  do  so;  and  the  only 
difficulty  now  exited  as  to  the  means,  for  though  the  daily  papers 
ttvm  with  '  four  ways  to  go  from  London  to  Paris,'  they  all  resolved 
themselves  into  one,  and  that  one,  unfortunately  to  me,  the  most 
difficult  and  impracticable — by  money. 

"  There  was,  however,  one  last  resource  open  the  sale  of  my 
commission.  I  will  not  dwell  upon  what  it  cost  me  to  resolve  upon 
this  —the  determination  was  a  painful  one,  but  it  was  soon  come  to, 
and  before  five  o'clock  that  day,  Cox  &  Greenwood  had  got  their  in- 
structions to  sell  out  for  me,  and  had  advanced  a  thousand  pounds 
of  the  purchase.  Our  bill  settled — the  waiters  bowing  to  the  ground 
(it  is  your  ruined  man  that  is  always  most  liberal),  the  post-horses 
harnessed,  and  impatient  for  the  road,  I  took  my  place  beside  my 
wife,  while  my  valet  held  a  parasol  over  the  soubrette  in  the  rumble, 
all  in  the  approved  fashion  of  those  who  have  an  unlimited  credit 
with  Coutts  &  Drummond;  the  whips  cracked,  the  leaders  capered, 
and  with  a  patronizing  bow  to  the  proprietor  of  the  '  Clarendon, ' 
away  we  rattled  to  Dover. 

"  After  the  usual  routine  of  sea-sickness,  fatigue,  and  poisonous 
cookery,  we  reached  Paris  on  the  fifth  day,  and  put  up  at  the  '  Hotel 
de  Londres, '  Place  Vendome. ' 

"  To  have  an  adequate  idea  of  the  state  of  my  feelings  as  I  trod 
the  splendid  apartments  of  this  princely  hotel,  surrounded  by  every 
luxury  that  wealth  can  procure  or  taste  suggest,  you  must  imagine 
the  condition  of  a  man  who  is  regaled  with  a  sumptuous  banquet  on 
the  eve  of  his  execution.  The  inevitable  termination  to  all  my  pres- 
ent splendor  was  never  for  a  moment  absent  from  my  thoughts,  and 
the  secrecy  with  which  I  was  obliged  to  conceal  my  feelings  formed 
one  of  the  greatest  sources  of  my  misery.  The  coup,  when  it  does 
come,  will  be  sad  enough;  and  poor  Mary  may  as  well  have  the  com- 
fort of  the  deception,  as  long  as  it  lasts,  without  suffering  as  I  do. 
Such  was  the  reasoning  by  which  I  met  every  resolve  to  break  to  her 
the  real  state  of  our  finances,  and  such  the  frame  of  mind  in  which 
I  spent  my  days  at  Paris,  the  only  really  unhappy  ones  I  can  ever 
charge  my  memory  with. 

"  We  had  scarcely  got  settled  in  the  hotel  when  my  aunt,  who  in- 
habited the  opposite  side  of  the  'Place,'  came  over  to  see  us  and 
wish  us  joy.  She  had  seen  the  paragraph  in  the  Pout,  and  like  all 
other  people  with  plenty  of  money,  fully  approved  a  match  like  mine. 

"  She  was  delighted  with  Mary,  and  despite  the  natural  reserve  of 
the  old  maiden  lady,  became  actually  cordial,  and  invited  us  to  dine 
with  her  that  day,  and  every  succeeding  one  we  might,  feel  disposed 
to  do  so.  So  far  so  well,  thought  I,  as  I  offered  her  my  aim  to  see 
her  home;  but  if  she  knew  of  what  value  even  this  small  attention  is 
to  us,  am  I  quite  so  sure  she  would  offer  it?  However,  no  time  is  to 
be  lost.  I  cannot  live  in  this  state  of  hourly  agitation;  I  must  make 
some  one  the  confidant  of  my  sorrows,  and  none  so  fit  as  she,  who 
can  relieve  as  well  as  advise  upon  them.  Although  such  was  my 
determination,  yet  somehow  I  could  not  pluck  up  courage  for  the 
effort.  My  aunt's  congratulations  upon  my  good  luck  made  me 
Shrink  from  the  avowal;  and  while  she  ran  on  upon  the  beauty  an<) 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  313 

grace  of  my  wife,  topics  I  fully  concurred  in,  I  almost  chimed  in 
with  her  satisfaction  at  the  prudential  and  proper  motives  which  led 
to  the  match.  Twenty  times  I  was  on  the  eve  of  interrupting  Lcr 
and  saying,  '  But,  mad'am,  I  am  a  beggar— my  wife  has  not  a  shilling 
— I  have  absolutely  nothing — her  father  disowns  us — my  commis- 
sion is  sold,  and  in  three  weeks  the  "  Hotel  de  Londres  "  and  the 
"  Palais  Royal  "  will  be  some  hundred  pounds  tlie  richer,  and  1  with- 
out the  fare  of  a  cab  to  drive  me  to  the  Seine  to  drown  myself.' 

"  Such  were  my  thoughts;  but  whenever  1  endeavored  to  speak 
them,  some  confounded  fullness  in  my  throat  nearly  choked  me;  my 
temples  throbbed,  my  hands  trembled,  and  whether  it  was  shame  01 
the  sickness  of  despair,  I  cannot  say;  but  the  words  would  not  come, 
and  all  that  I  could  get  out  was  some  flattery  of  my  wife's  beauty, 
or  some  vapid  eulogy  upon  my  own  cleverness  in  securing  such  a 
prize.  To  give  you  in  one  brief  sentence  an  idea  of  my  state,  Harry 
— know  then,  that  though  loving  Mary  with  all  my  heart  and  soul, 
as  I  felt  she  deserved  to  be  loved,  fifty  times  a  day,  I  would  have 
given  my  life  itself  that  you  had  been  the  successful  man,  on  the 
morning  I  carried  her  off,  and  that  Jack  Waller  was  once  more  a 
bachelor,  to  see  the  only  woman  he  ever  loved,  the  wife  of  another. 

"  But  this  is  growing  tedious,  Harry,  I  must  get  over  the  ground 
faster;  two  months  passed  over  at  Paris,  diiring  which  we  continued 
to  live  at  the  '  Londres,'  giving  dinners,  soirees,  dejeuners,  with  the 
prettiest  equipage  in  the  '  Champs  Elysees;'  we  were  quite  the  mode; 
my  wife,  which  is  rare  enough  for  an  Englishwoman,  knew  how  to 
dress  herself.  Our  evening  parties  were  the  most  recherche  things 
going,  and  if  I  were  capable  of  partaking  of  anjr  pleasure  in  the 
eclat,  I  had  my  share,  having  won  all  the  pigeon  matches  in  the  Bois 
de  Boulogne,'  and  beaten  Lord  Henry  Seymour  himself  in  a  steeeple 
chase.  The  continual  round  of  occupation  in  which  pleasure  in- 
volves a  man,  is  certainly  its  greatest  attraction — reflection  is  impos- 
sible— the  present  is  too  full  to  admit  any  of  the  past,  and  very  little 
of  the  future;  and  even  I,  with  all  my  terrors  awaiting  me,  began  to 
feel  a  half  indifference  to  the  result  in  the  manifold  cares  of  my  then 
existence.  To  this  state  of  fatalism,  for  such  it  wras  becoming,  had 
I  arrived,  when  the  vision  was  dispelled  in  a  moment,  by  a  visit 
from  my  aunt,  who  came  to  say  that,  some  business  requiring  her  im- 
mediate presence  in  London,  she  wras  to  set  out  that  evening,  but 
hoped  to  find  us  in  Paris  on  her  return.  I  was  thunderstruck  at  the 
news,  for,  although  as  yet  I  had  obtained  no  manner  of  assistance 
from  the  old  lady,  yet  I  felt  that  her  very  presence  was  a  kind 
of  security  to  us,  and  that  in  every  sudden  emergency  she  was  there 
to  apply  to.  My  money  was  nearly  expended,  the  second  and  last 
installment  of  my  commission  was  all  that  remained,  and  much  of 
even  that  I  owed  to  trades-people.  I  now  resolved  to  speak  out — the 
worst  must  be  known,  thought  I,  in  a  few  days — and  now  or  never 
be  it.  So  saying,  I  drew  my  aunt's  arm  within  my  own,  and  telling 
her  that  I  wished  a  few  minutes'  conversation  alone,  led  her  to  one 
of  the  less  frequented  walks  in  the  Tuileries  gardens.  When  we 
had  got  sufficiently  far  to  be  removed  from  all  listeners,  I  began  then 
— '  My  dearest  aunt,  what  I  have  suffered  in  concealing  from  j'ou  so 
long  the  subject  of  my  present  confession,  will  plead  as  my  excuse  in 
not  making  you  sooner  my  confidante. '  When  I  had  got  thus  far 


314  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

the  agitation  of  my  aunt  was  such,  that  I  could  not  venture  to  say 
more  i'or  a  minute  or  two.  At  length,  she  said,  in  a  kind  of  hurried 
whisper,  '  Go  on;'  and  although  then  I  would  have  given  all  I  pos- 
sessed in  the  world  to  have  continued,  I  could  not  speak  a  word. 

"  '  Dear  John,  what  is  it?  anything  about  Mary — for  heaven's 
sake,  speak.' 

"  '  Yes,  dearest  aunt,  it  is  about  Mary,  and  entirely  about  Mary.' 
"  '  Ah,  dear  me,  I  feared  it  long  since;  but  then,  John,  consider 

she  is  very  handsome — very  much  admired — and ' 

"  '  That  makes  it  all  the  heavier,  my  dear  aunt — the  prouder  her 
present  position,  the  more  severely  will  she  feel  the  reverse. ' 

"  '  Oh,  but  surely,  John,  your  fears  must  exaggerate  the  danger.' 
"  '  Nothing  of  the  kind — I  have  not  words  to  tell  you  — ' 
"  '  Oh  dear,  oh  dear,  don't  say  so,'  said  the  old  lady,  blushing, 
'  for  though  I  have  often  remarked  a  kind  of  gay  flirting  manner  she 
has  with  men — I  am  sure  she  means  nothing  by  it — she  is  so  young 

"  I  stopped,  stepped  forward,  and  looking  straight  in  my  aunt's 
face,  broke  out  into  a  fit  of  laughter,  that  she,  mistaking  for  hyster- 
ical from  its  violence,  nearly  fainted  upon  the  spot. 

"  As  soon  as  I  could  sufficiently  recover  gravity  to  explain  to  my 
aunt  her  mistake,  I  endeavored  to  do  so,  but  so  ludicrous  was  the 
contretemps,  and  so  ashamed  the  old  lady  for  her  gratuitous  suspi- 
cions, that  she  would  not  listen  to  a  word,  and  begged  me  to  return 
to  her  hotel.  Such  an  unexpected  turn  to  my  communication  routed 
all  my  plans,  and  after  a  very  awkward  silence  of  some  minutes  on 
both  sides,  I  mumbled  something  about  our  expensive  habits  of  life, 
costly  equipage,  number  of  horses,  etc.,  and  hinted  at  the  propriety 
of  retrenchment. 

'  '  Mary  rides  beautifully, '  said  my  aunt,  dryly. 

"  '  Yes;  but,  my  dear  aunt,  it  was  not  exactly  of  that  I  was  going 
to  speak;  for  in  fact ' 

"  '  Oh,  John,'  said  she,  interrupting,  '  I  know  your  delicacy  too 
well  to  suspect;  but,  in  fact,  I  have  myself  perceived  what  you 
allude  to,  and  wished  very  much  to  have  some  conversation  with 
you  on  the  subject. ' 

"  '  Thank  God,'  said  I  to  myself,  '  at  length  we  understand  each 
other;  and  the  ice  is  broken  at  last. ' 

"  '  Indeed,  I  think  I  have  anticipated  your  wish  in  the  matter; 
but  as  time  presses,  and  I  must  look  after  all  my  packing,  I  shall  say 
good-by  for  a  few  weeks,  and  in  the  evening,  Jepson,  who  stays 
here,  will  bring  you  what  I  mean,"  over  to  your  hotel;  once  more, 
then,  good-by.  * 

"  '  Good-by,  my  dearest,  kindest  friend  '  said  I,  taking  a  most 
tender  adieu  of  the  old  lady.  '  What  an  excellent  creature  she  is,' 
said  I,  half  aloud,  as  I  turned  toward  home;  '  how  considerate,  how 
truly  kind,  to  spare  me,  too,  all  the  pain  of  explanation.  Now  I 
begin  to  breathe  once  more.  If  there  be  a  flask  of  Johannisberg  in 
the  "  Lundres,"  I'll  drink  your  health  this  day,  and  so  shall  Mary;' 
so  saying,  I  entered  the  hotel  with  a  lighter  heart,  and  a  firmer  step 
than  ever  it  had  been  my  fortune  to  do  hitherto. 

'  We  shall  miss  the  old  lady,  I'm  sure,  Mary,  she  is  so  kind.' 

"  '  Oh!  indeed  she  is;  but  then,  John,  she  is  such  a  prude.' 


HARRY    LOHUEQUEH.  315 

"  Now  i  could  not  help  recurring  in  my  mind  to  some  of  the  con- 
versation in  the  Tuileries  garden,  and  did  not  feel  exactly  at  ease. 

"  '  Such  a  prude,  and  so  very  old-fashioned  in  her  notions.' 

"  '  Yes,  Mary/  said  I,  with  more  gravity  than  she  was  prepared 
for,  '  she  is  a  prude;  but  I  am  not  certain  that  in  foreign  society, 
where  less  liberties  are  tolerated  than  in  our  country,  if  such  a  bear- 
ing be  not  wiser. '  What  I  was  going  to  plunge  into,  heaven  knows, 
for  the  waiter  entered  at  the  moment,  and  presenting  me  with  a  large 
and  carefully  sealed  package,  said,  '  de  la  part  de  mi  ladi  Lilfore,' — 
'  but  stay,  here  comes,  if  1  am  not  mistaken,  a  better  eulogy  upon 
my  dear  aunt,  than  any  I  can  pronounce.' 

"  '  How  heavy  it  is,'  said  I  to  myself,  balancing  the  parcel  in  my 
hand.  '  There  is  no  answer,'  said  I,  aloud,  to  the  waiter,  who  stood 
as  if  expecting  one. 

"  '  The  servant  wishes  to  have  some  acknowledgment  in  writing, 
sir,  that  it  has  been  delivered  into  your  own  hands. ' 

"  '  Send  him  here,  then,'  said  I. 

"  Jepson  entered;  '  Well,  George,  your  parcel  is  all  right,  and  here 
is  a  Napoleon  to  drink  my  health. ' 

"  Scarcely  had  the  servants  left  the  room,  when  Mary,  whose  curi- 
osity was  fully  roused,  rushed  over,  and  tried  to  get  the  packet  from 
me;  after  a  short  struggle  I  yielded,  and  she  flew  to  the  end  of  the 
room,  and  tearing  open  the  seals,  several  papers  fell  to  the  ground; 
before  I  could  have  time  to  snatch  them  up  she  had  read  some  lines 
written  on  the  envelope,  and  turning  toward  me,  threw  her  arms 
around  my  neck,  and  said  '  Yes,  Jack,  she  is,  indeed,  all  you  have 
said;  look  here;'  I  turned  and  read — with  what  feeling  I  leave  you 
to  guess— the  following: 

"  '  DEAR  NEPHEW  AND  NIECE, — The  inclosed  will  convey  to  you, 
with  my  warmest  wishes  for  your  happiness,  a  ticket  on  the  Franc- 
fort  Lottery,  of  which  I  inclose  the  scheme.  I  also  take  the  oppor- 
tunity of  saying  that  I  have  purchased  the  Hungarian  pony  for 
Mary — which  we  spoke  of  this  morning.  It  is  at  Johnson's  stable, 
and  will  be  delivered  on  sending  for  it. 

"  'Think  of  that,  Jack,  the  Borghese  pony,  with  the  silky  tail, 
mine!  Oh!  what  a  dear  good  old  soul;  it  was  the  very  thing  of  all 
others  I  longed  for,  for  they  told  me  the  princess  had  refused  every 
offer  for  it. ' 

"  While  Mary  ran  on  in  this  strain,  I  sat  mute  and  stupefied;  the 
sudden  reverse  my  hopes  had  sustained,  deprived  me,  for  a  moir.cnt, 
of  all  thought,  and  it  was  several  minutes  before  I  could  rightly  take 
in  the  full  extent  of  my  misfortunes. 

"  How  that  crazy  old  maid,  for  such,  alas,  I  called  her  to  myself 
now,  could  have  so  blundered  all  my  meaning — how  she  could  so 
palpably  have  mistaken,  I  could  not  conceive;  what  a  remedy  for  a 
man  overwhelmed  with  debt — a  ticket  in  a  German  lottery,  and  a 
cream-colored  pony,  as  if  my  whole  life  had  not  been  one  continued 
lottery,  with  every  day  a  blank;  and  as  to  horses,  I  had  eleven  in  my 
stable  already.  Perhaps  she  thought  twelve  would  read  better  in  my 
schedule,  when  I,  next  week,  surrendered  as  insolvent. 

"  Unable  to  bear  the  delight,  the  childish  delight  of  Mary,  on  her 


316  HARRY    LORREQtJER. 

new  acquisition,  I  rushed  out  of  the  house,  and  wandered  for  several 
hours  in  the  Boulevards.  At  last  I  summoned  up  courage  to  tell  my 
wife.  I  once  more  turned  toward  home,  and  entered  her  dressing- 
room,  where  she  was  having  her  hair  dressed  for  a  ball  at  the  Em- 
bassy. My  resolution  failed  me — not  now,  thought  I— to-morrow 
will  do  as  well;  one  night  more  of  happiness  for  her,  and  then — I 
looked  on  with  pleasure  and  pride,  as  ornament  after  ornament,  brill- 
iant with  diamonds  and  emeralds,  shone  in  her  hair,  and  upon  her 
arms,  still  heightening  her  beauty,  and  lighting  up  with  a  dazzling 
brilliancy  her  lovely  figure.  But  it  must  come — and  whenever  the  hour 
arrives— the  reverse  will  be  fully  as  bitter;  besides,  I  am  able  now — 
and  when  I  may  again  be  so,  who  can  tell? — now,  then,  be  it,  said  I, 
as  I  told  the  waiting-maid  to  retire;  and  taking  a  chair  beside  my 
wife,  put  my  arm  around  her. 

"  '  There,  John,  dearest,  take  care;  don't  you  see  you'll  crush  all 
that  great  affair  of  Malines  lace  that  Rosetta  has  been  breaking  her 
heart  to  manage  this  half  hour. ' 

"  '  Et  puis,'  said  I. 

"  '  Et  puis,  I  could  not  go  to  the  ball,  naughty  boy.    I  am  bent 
on  great  conquest  to-night;  so  pray  don't  mar  such  good  intentions.' 
' '  And  you  should  be  greatly  disappointed  were  you  not  to  go?' 

"  '  Of  course  I  should;  but  what  do  you  mean;  is  there  any  reason 
why  I  should  not?  You  are  silent,  John — speak — oh,  speak — has 
anything  occurred  to  my ' 

"  '  No,  no,  dearest — nothing  that  I  know  has  occurred  to  the 
Colonel.' 

'  Well,  then,  who  is  it?    Oh,  tell  me  at  once.' 

' '  Oh,  my  dear,  there's  no  one  in  the  case  but  ourselves;'  so  say- 
ing, despite  the  injunction  about  the  lace,  I  drew  her  toward  me, 
and  in  as  few  words,  but  as  clearly  as  I  was  able,  explained  all  our 
circumstances — my  endeavor  to  better  them — my  hopes — my  fears — 
and  now  my  bitter  disappointment,  if  not  despair. 

"  The  first  shock  over,  Mary  showed  not  only  more  courage,  but 
more  sound  sense  that  I  could  have  believed.  All  the  frivolity  of  her 
former  character  vanished  at  the  first  touch  of  adversity;  just  as  of 
old,  Harry,  we  left  the  tinsel  of  our  gay  jackets  behind,  "wlien  active 
service  called  upon  us  for  something  more  sterling.  She  advised, 
counseled,  and  encouraged  me  by  turns;  and  in  half  an  hour  the 
most  poignant  regret  I  had  was  in  not  having  sooner  made  her  my 
confidante  and  checked  the  progress  of  our  enormous  expenditure 
somewhat  earlier. 

"  I  shall  not  detain  you  much  longer.  In  three  weeks  we  30id  our 
carnages  and  horses;  our  pictures  (we  had  begun  this  among  other 
extravagances),  and  our  china  followed;  and  under  the  pica  of  health 
set  out  for  Baden;  not  one  amona:  our  Paris  acquaintances  ever  sus- 
pecting the  real  reason  of  our  (kparture,  and  never  attributing  any 
monied  difficulties  to  us — for  we  paid  our  debts. 

"  The  same  day  we  left  Paris,  I  dispatched  a  letter  to  my  aunt, 
explaining  fully  all  about  us,  and  suggesting  that  as  I  had  now  left 
the  army  forever,  perhaps  she  would  interest  some  of  her  friends — 
and  she  has  powerful  ones — to  do  something  for  me. 

"  After  some  little  loitering  on  the  Rhine,  we  fixed  upon  Hesse 


HARRY    LORREQTJER.  317 

Cassel  for  our  residence.  It  was  very  quiet — very  cheap.  The 
country  around  picturesque,  and  last  but  not  least,  there  was  not  an 
Englishman  in  the  neighborhood.  The  second  week  after  our  arrival, 
brought  us  letters  from  my  aunt.  She  had  settled  four  hundred  a 
year  upon  us  for  the  present,  and  sent  the  first  year  in  advance; 
promised  us  a  visit  as  soon  as  we  were  ready  to  receive  her;  and 
pledged  herself  not  to  forget  when  an  opportunity  of  serving  me 
should  offer. 

'•'-  From  that  moment  to  this,"  said  Jack,  "  all  has  gone  well  with  us. 
We  have,  it  is  true,  not  many  luxuries,  but  we  have  no  wants,  and 
better  still,  no  debts.  The  dear  old  aunt  is  always  making  us  some 
little  present  or  other;  and  somehow  I  have  a  kind  of  feeling  that 
better  luck  is  still  in  store;  but  faith,  Harry,  as  long  as  I  have  a 
happy  home,  and  a  warm  fireside,  for  a  friend  when  he  drops  in  upon 
me,  I  scarcely  can  say  that  better  luck  need  be  wished  for." 

"  There  is  only  one  point,  Jack,  you  have  not  enlightened  me 
upon,  how  came  you  here?  You  are  some  hundred  miles  from  Hesse, 
in  your  present  chateau." 

"  Oh!  by  Jove,  that  was  a  great  omission  in  my  narrative;  but 
come,  this  will  explain  it;  see  here:"  so  saying,  he  drew  from  a 
little  drawer  a  large  lithographic  print  of  a  magnificent  castellated 
building,  with  towers  and  bastions,  keep,  moat,  and  even  draw- 
bridge, and  the  walls  bristling  with  cannon,  and  an  eagled  banner 
floating  proudly  above  them. 

"  What  in  the  name  of  the  Sphynxes  is  this?" 

"  There,"  said  Jack,  "  is  the  Schloss  von  Eberhausen;  or  if  you 
like  it  in  English,  Eberhausen  Castle,  as  it  was  in  the  year  of  the 
deluge ;  for  the  present  mansion  that  we  are  now  sipping  our  wine  in 
bears  no  very  close  resemblance  to  it.  But  to  make  the  mystery  clear, 
this  was  the  great  prize  in  the  Frankfort  lottery,  the  ticket  of  which 
my  aunt's  first  note  contained,  and  which  we  were  fortunate  enough 
to  win.  We  have  only  been  here  a  few  weeks,  and  though  the  affair 
looks  somewhat  meager,  we  have  hopes  that  in  a  little  time,  and  with 
some  pains,  rmich  may  be  done  to  make  it  habitable.  There  is  a 
capital  chasse  of  some  hundred  acres,  plenty  of  wood  and  innumer- 
able rights,  seignorial,  manorial.  &c.,  which,  fortunately  for  my 
neighbors,  I  neither  understand  nor  care  for;  and  we  are,  therefore, 
the  best  friends  in  the  world.  Among  others  I  am  styled  the  graf  or 
count " 

"  Well,  then,  Monsieur  Le  Comte,  do  you  intend  favoring  me 
with  your  company  at  coffee  this  evening?  for  already  it  is  ten  o'clock ; 
and  considering  my  former  claim  upon  Mr.  Lorrequer,  you  have  let 
me  enjoy  very  little  of  his- society." 

We  now  adjourned  to  the  drawing-room,  where  we  gossiped  away 
till  past  midnight;  and  I  retired  to  iny  room,  meditating  over  Jack's 
adventures,  and  praying  in  my  heart,  that  despite  all  his  mischances, 
my  own  might  end  as  happily. 


318  HAEliY    LOliliEQUEH. 


CHAPTER  LIL 
MUNICH. 

THE  rest  and  quietness  of  the  preceding  day  had  so  far  recovered 
me  from  the  effects  of  my  accident  that  I  resolved,  as  soon  as  break- 
fast was  over,  to  take  my  leave  of  my  kind  friends  and  set  out  for 
Munich. 

"We  shall  meet  to-night,  Harry."  said  Waller,  as  we  parted — 
"  we  shall  meet  at  the  Casino — and  don't  forget  that  the  Croix 
Blanche  is  your  hotel;  and  Schnetz,  the  tailor  in  the  Grand  Place, 
will  provide  you  with  everything  you  need  in  the  way  of  dress." 

This  latter  piece  of  information  was  satisfactory,  inasmuch  us  the 
greater  part  of  my  luggage,  containing  nay  uniform,  &c.,  had  been 
left  in  the  French  diligence;  and  as  the  ball  was  patronized  by  the 
court,  I  was  greatly  puzzled  how  to  make  my  appearance. 

Bad  roads  and  worse  horses  made  me  feel  the  few  leagues  I  had. 
to  go  the  most  tiresome  part  of  my  journey.  But,  of  course,  in  this 
feeling  impatience  had  its  share.  A  few  hours  more,  and  my  fate 
should  be  decided;  and  yet  I  thought  the  time  would  never  come. 
If  the  Callonbys  should  not  arrive — if,  again,  my  evil  star  be  in  the 
ascendant,  and  any  new  impediment  to  our  meeting  arise — but  I  can- 
not, will  not,  think  this.  Fortune  must  surely  be  tired  of  persecut- 
ing me  by  this  time,  and,  even  to  sustain  her  old  character  for  fickle- 
ness, must  befriend  me  now.  Ah !  here  we  are  in  Munich — and  this 
is  the  Croix  Blanche — what  a  dingy  old  mansion!  Beneath  a  mass- 
ive porch,  supported  by  heavy  stone  pillars,  stood  the  stout  figure  of 
Andreas  Behr,  the  host.  A  white  napkin,  fastened  hi  one  button- 
hole, and  hanging  gracefully  down  beside  him — a  soup-ladle  held 
scepter-wise  in  his  right  hand,  and  the  grinding  motion  of  his  nether 
jaw,  all  showed  that  he  had  risen  from  his  table  d'hote  to  welcome 
the  new  arrival:  and  certainly,  if  noise  and  uproar  might  explain  the 
phenomenon,  the  clatter  of  my  equipage  over  the  pavement  might 
have  risen  the  dead.  - 

While  my  postilion  was  endeavoring  by  mighty  efforts,  with  a 
heavy  stone,  to  turn  the  handle  of  the  door,  and  thus  liberate  me 
from  my  cage,  I  perceived  that  the  host  came  forward  and  said 
something  to  him — on  replying  to  which,  he  ceased  his  endeavors  to 
open  the  door,  and.  looked  "vacantly  about  him.  Upon  this  I  threw 
down  the  sash,  and  called  out: 

'  I  say,  is  not  this  the  Croix  Blanche?" 

'  Ya,"  said  the  man-mountain  with  the  napkin. 

'  Well,  then,  .open  the  door,  pray — I'm  going  to  stop  here." 

'  Nein." 

'  No!  What  do  you  mean  by  that?  Has  not  Lord  Callonby  en- 
gaged rooms  here?" 

'  Ya." 

'  Well,  then,  I  am  a  particular  friend  of  his,  and  will  stay  here 
also." 
"Nein." 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  319 

"What  the  devil  are  you  at,  -with  your  ya  and  nein?"  said  I. 
"  Has  your  confounded  tongue  nothing  better  than  a  monosyllable 
to  reply  with." 

Whether  disliking  the  tone  the  controversy  was  assuming,  or  re- 
membering that  his  dinner  waited,  I  know  not,  but  at  these  worda 
my  fat  friend  turned  leisurely  round,  and  waddled  back  into  the 
house;  where,  in  a  moment  after,  I  had  the  pleasure  of  beholding 
him  at  the  head  of  a  long  table,  distributing  viands  with  a  very  dif- 
ferent degree  of  activity  from  what  he  displayed  hi  dialogue. 

With  one  vigorous  jerk,  I  dashed  open  the  door,  upsetting,  at  the 
same  time,  the  poor  postilion,  who  had  recommenced  his  operations 
on  the  lock,  and,  foaming  with  passion,  strode  into  the  "  salle  4 
manger."  Nothing  is  such  an  immediate  damper  to  any  sudden 
explosion  of  temper,  as  the  placid  and  unconcerned  faces  of  a  num- 
ber of  people,  who,  ignorant  of  yourself  and  your  peculiar  miseries 
at  the  moment,  seem  only  to  regard  you  as  a  madman.  This  I  felt 
strongly,  as,  flushed  in  face  and  tingling  in  my  fingers,  I  entered  the 
room. 

"Take  my  luggage,"  said  I  to  a  gaping  waiter,  "and  place  a 
chair  there;  do  you  hear?" 

There  seemed,  I  suppose,  something  in  my  looks  that  did  not  admit 
of  much  parley,  for  the  man  made  room  for  me  at  once  at  the  table, 
and  left  the  room,  as  if  to  discharge  the  other  part  of  my  iniunction, 
without  saying  a  word.  As  I  arranged  my  napkin  before  me,  I  was 
collecting  my  energies  and  my  German,  as  well  as  I  was  able,  for 
the  attack  of  the  host,  which  I  anticipated,  from  his  recent  conduct, 
must  now  ensue;  but,  greatly  to  my  surprise,  he  sent  me  my  soup 
without  a  word,  and  the  dinner  went  on  without  any  interruption. 
When  the  dessert  had  made  its  appearance,  I  beckoned  the  waiter 
towaid  me,  and  asked  what  the  landlord  meant  by  his  singular  re- 
ception of  me.  The  man  shrugged  his  shoulders,  and  raised  hii 
eyebrows  without  speaking,  as  if  to  imply,  "  it's  his  way." 

"  Well,  then,  no  matter,"  said  I.  "  Have  you  sent  my  luggage 
up  stairs?" 

"  No,  sir,  there  is  no  room — the  house  is  full." 

"  The  house  full!  Confound  it — this  is  too  provoking.  I  have 
most  urgent  reasons  for  wishing  to  stay  here.  Cannot  you  make 
some  arrangement— see  about  it,  waiter. "  I  here  slipped  a  Napoleon 
into  the  fellow's  hand,  and  hinted  that  as  much  more  awaited  the 
finale  of  the  negotiation. 

In  about  a  minute  after,  I  perceived  him  behind  the  host's  chair, 
pleading  my  cause  with  considerable  energy;  but  to  my  complete 
chagrin,  I  heard  the  other  answer  all  his  eloquence  by  a  loud 
"  Nein,"  that  he  grunted  out  in  such  a  manner  as  closed  the  confer- 
ence. 

"  I  cannot  succeed,  sir,"  said  the  man,  as  he  paused  behind  me: 
"  but  don't  leave  the  house  till  I  speak  with  you  again." 

"  What  confounded  mystery  is  there  in  all  this,"  thought  I.  "Is 
there  anything  so  suspicious  in  my  look  or  appearance  that  the  old 
bear  in  the  fur  cap  will  not  even  admit  me?  What  can  it  all  mean? 
One  thing  I  am  resolved  upon— nothing  less  than  force  shall  remove 
me." 


320  HARRY    LOUKEQUER. 

So  saying,  I  lit  my  cigar,  and  in  order  to  give  the  waiter  an  oppor- 
tunity of  conferring  with  me  unobserved  by  his  master,  walked 
out  into  the  porch  and  sat  down. 

In  a  few  minutes  he  joined  me,  and  after  a  stealthy  look  on  each 
side,  said: 

"  The  Herr  Andreas  is  a  hard  man  to  deal  with,  and  when  he  says 
a  thing,  never  goes  back  of  it.  Now  he  has  been  expecting  the  new 
English  Charge  d' Affaires  here  these  last  ten  days,  and  has  kept  the 
hotel  half  empty  in  consequence;  and  as  mi  Lor  Callonby  lias  en- 
gaged the  other  half,  why  we  have  nothing  to  do;  so  that  when  he 
asked  the  postilion  if  you  were  mi  lor,  and  found  that  you  were  not, 
he  determined  not  to  admit  you." 

"  But  why  not  have  the  civility  to  explain  that?" 

"  He  seldom  speaks,  and  when  he  does,  only  a  word  or  two  at  a 
time.  He  is  quite  tired  with  what  he  has  gone  through  to-day,  and 
will  retire  veiy  early  to  bed ;  and  for  this  reason  I  have  requested  you 
to  remain,  for  as  he  never  ventures  up  stairs,  I  will  then  manage  to 
give  you  one  of  the  embassador's  rooms,  which,  even  if  he  come, 
he'll  never  miss.  So  that  if  you  keep  quiet,  and  do  not  attract  any 
particular  attention  toward  you,  all  will  go  well." 

This  advice  seemed  so  reasonable,  that  I  determined  to  follow  it, 
any  inconvenience  being  preferable,  provided  I  could  be  under  the 
same  roof  with  my  beloved  Jane ;  and  from  the  waiter's  account, 
there  seemed  no  doubt  whatever  of  their  arrival  that  evening.  In 
order,  therefore,  to  follow  his  injunctions  to  the  letter,  I  strolled  out 
toward  the  Place  in  search  of  a  tailor,  and  also  to  deliver  a  letter 
from  Waller  to  the  chamberlain,  to  provide  me  with  a  card  for  the 
ball.  Monsieur  Schnetz,  who  was  the  very  pinnacle  of  politeness, 
was,  nevertheless,  in  fact,  nearly  as  untractable  as  my  host  of  the 
"  Cross."  All  his  "  sujets  "  were  engaged  in  preparing  a  suit  for 
the  English  Charge  d'Affaires,  whose  trunks  had  been  sent  in  a 
wrong  direction,  and  who  had  dispatched  a  courier  from  Frankfort 
to  order  a  uniform.  This  second  thwarting,  and  from  the  same 
source,  so  nettled  me,  that  I  greatly  fear,  all  my  respect  for  the  for- 
eign office,  and  those  who  live  thereby,  would  not  have  saved  them 
from  something  most  unlike  a  blessing,  had  not  Monsieur  Schnetz 
saved  diplomacy  from  such  a  desecration  by  saying,  that  if  I  could 
content  myself  with  a  plain  suit,  such  as  civilians  wore,  he  would 
do  his  endeavor  to  accommodate  me. 

"  Anything,  Monsieur  Schnetz— dress  me  like  the  Pope's  Nuncio, 
or  the  Mayor  of  London,  if  you  like,  but  only  enable  me  to  go." 

Although  my  reply  did  not  seem  to  convey  a  very  exalted  idea  of 
my  taste  in  costume  to  the  worthy  artiste,  it  at  least  evinced  my  anx- 
iety for  the  ball ;  and  running  his  measure  over  me,  he  assured  me 
that  the  dress  he  would  provide  was  both  well  looking  and  becom- 
ing; adding,  "  At  nine  o'clock,  sir,  you'll  have  it,  exactly  the  same 
size  as  his  Excellency  the  Charge  d'Affaires." 

"  Confound  the  Charge  d'Affaires!"    I  added,  and  left  the  homte. 


HARRY    LORREQUER;  321 


CHAPTER  LIU. 

INN    AT    MUNICH. 

As  I  had  never  been  in  Munich  before,  I  strolled  about  the  town 
till  dusk.  At  that  time  the  taste  of  the  present  king  had  not  enriched 
the  capital  with  the  innumerable  objects  of  art  which  render  it  now 
second  to  none  in  Europe.  There  were,  indeed,  then  but  few  attrac- 
tions, narrow  streets,  tall,  unarchitectural-looking  houses,  and 
gloomy,  unimpressive  churches.  Tired  of  this,  I  turned  toward  my 
inn,  wondering  in  my  mind  if  Antoine  had  succeeded  in  procuring 
me  the  room,  or  whether  yet  I  should  be  obliged  to  seek  my  lodging 
elsewhere.  Scarcely  had  I  entered  the  porch,  when  1  found  him 
waiting  my  arrival,  candle  in  hand.  He  conducted  me  at  once  up 
the  wide  oaken  stair,  then  along  the  gallery,  into  a  large  wainscoted, 
room,  with  a  most  capacious  bed.  A  cheerful  wood  fire  burned  and 
crackled  away  in  the  grate,  the  cloth  was  already  spread  for  supper, 
(remember  it  was  in  Germany),  the  newspapers  of  the  day  were 

E  laced  before  me,  and,  in  a  word,  every  attention  showed  that  I  had 
jund  the  true  avenue  to  Antoine's  good  graces  who  now  stood  bow- 
ing before  me,  in  apparent  ecstasy  at  his  own  cleverness. 

"  All  very  well  done,  Antoine,  and  now  for  supper — order  it  your- 
self for  me,  I  never  can  find  my  way  in  a  German  '  carte  de  diner;' 
and  be  sure  to  have  a  fiacre  here  at  nine,  nine  precisely." 

Antoine  withdrew,  leaving  me  to  my  own  reflections,  which  now, 
if  not  gloomy,  were  still  of  the  most  anxious  kind. 

Scarcely  was  the  supper  placed  upon  the  table,  when  a  tremendous 
tramping  of  horses  along  the  street,  and  loud  cracking  of  whips,  an- 
nounced a  new  arrival. 

"  Here  they  are,"  said  I,  as,  springing  up,  I  upset  the  soup,  and 
nearly  threw  the  roti  into  Antoine's  face,  as  he  was  putting  it  before 
me. 

Down  stairs  I  rushed,  through  the  hall,  pushing  aside  waiters  and 
overturning  chambermaids  in  my  course.  The  carriage  was  already 
at  the  door.  Now  for  a  surprise,  thought  I,  as  I  worked  through 
the  crowd  in  the  porch,  and  reached  the  door  just  as  the  steps  were 
clattered  down,  and  a  gentleman  began  to  descend,  whom  twenty 
expectant  voices,  now  informed  of  his  identity,  welcomed  *as  tho 
new  Charge  d'Affaires. 

"  May  all  the " 

"What  I  wished  for  his  excellency  it  would  not  be  polite  to  repeat, 
nor  most  discreet  even  to  remember;  but,  certes;  I  mounted  the  stairs 
with  as  little  good  will  toward  the  envoy  extraordinary  as  was  con- 
sistent with  due  loyalty. 

AVhen  once  more  in  my  room,  I  congratulated  myself  that  now  at 
/east  no  more  "  false  stars  "  could  occur—"  the  eternal  ChargS 
d'Affaires,  of  whom  I  have  been  hearing  since  my  arrival,  cannot 
come  twice— he  is  here  now,  and  I  hope  I  m  done  with  him." 

The  supper — some  greasincss  apart — was  good;  the  wine  excellent. 
My  spirits  were  gradually  rising,  and  I  paced  my  room  in  that 


322  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

mingled  state  of  hope  and  fear,  that,  amid  au  its  anxieties,  has  such 
moments  of  ecstasy.  A  new  noise  without — some  rabble  in  the 
street;  hark,  it  comes  nearer — I  hear  the  sound  of  wheels;  yes,  there 
go  the  horses  —nearer  and  nearer.  Ah,  it  is  dying  away  again— stay 
— yes,  yes— here  it  is — here  they  are.  The  noise  and  tumult  without 
now  increased  every  instant — the  heavy  trot  of  six  or  eight  horses 
shook  the  very  street,  and  I  heard  the  round,  dull,  rumbling  sound 
of  a  heavy  carriage,  as  it  drew  up  at  last  at  the  door  of  the  inn. 
Why  it  was  I  knew  not,  but  this  time  1  could  not  stir;  my  heart 
beat  almost  loud  enough  for  me  to  hear;  my  temples  throbbed,  and 
then  a  cold  and  clammy  perspiration  came  over  me,  and  I  sank  into 
a  chair.  Fearing  that  1  was  about  to  faint,  sick  as  I  was,  I  felt 
angry  with  myself,  and  tried  to  rally,  but  could  not,  and  only  at 
length  was  roused  by  hearing  that  the  steps  were  let  down,  and 
shortly  after  the  tread  of  feet  coming  along  the  gallery  toward  my 
room. 

They  are  coming— she  is  coming,  thought  I.  Now  then  for  my 
doom! 

Thero  was  some  noise  of  voices  outside!  I  listened,  for  I  still  felt 
unable  to  rise.  The  talking  grew  louder;  doors  were  opened  and 
shut;  then  came  a  lull;  then  more  slamming  of  doors,  and  more 
talking;  then  all  was  still  again;  and  at  last  I  heard  the  steps  of  peo- 
ple as  if  retiring,  and  in  a  few  minutes  after  the  carriage  door  was 
jammed  to,  and  again  the  heavy  tramp  of  the  horses  rattled  over  the 
pave.  At  this  instant  Antoine  entered. 

"  Well,  Antoine,"  said  I,  in  a  voice  trembling  with  weakness  and 
agitation,  "  not  them  yet?" 

"  It  was  his  Grace  the  Grand  Marechal,"  said  An  tome,  scarcely 
needing  my  question,  in  the  importance  of  the  illustrious  visitor  who 
had  arrived. 

"Ah,  the  Grand  Marechal,"  said  I,  carelessly;  "does  he  live 
here?" 

"  Sappennint  nein,  Mein  Herr;  but  he  has  just  been  to  pay  his  re- 
spects to  his  Excellency  the  new  Charge  d'Affaires." 

In  the  name  of  all  patience,  I  ask,  who  could  endure  this?  From 
the  hour  of  my  arrival  I  am  haunted  by  this  one  image — the  Charge 
d'Affaires.  For  him  I  have  been  almost  condemned  to  go  houseless, 
and  naked;  and  now  the  very  most  sacred  feel  ings,  of  my  heart  are 
subject  to  his  influence.  I  walked  up  and  down  in  an  agony. 
Another  such  disappointment,  and  my  brain  will  turn,  thought  I, 
and  they  may  write  my  epitaph— "  Died  of  love  and  a  Chared 
d'Affaires." 

"  It  is  time  to  dress,"  said  the  waiter. 

"  I  could  strangle  him  with  my  own  hands,"  muttered  I,  worked 
up  into  a  real  heat  by  the  excitement  of  my  passion 

"  The  Charge " 

"  Say  that  name  again,  villain,  and  I'll  blow  your  brains  out," 
cried  I,  seizing  Antoine  by  the  throat,  and  pinning  him  against  the 
wall;  "only  dare  to  mutter  it,  and  you'll  never  breathe  another 
syllable." 

The  poor  fellow  grew  green  with  terror,  and  fell  ut>on  his  knees 
before  ma 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  333 

*'  Get  my  dressing  things  ready,"  said  I,  in  a  more  subcmed  tone. 
"  I  did  not  mean  to  terrify  you—  but  beware  of  what  I  told  you." 

While  Antoine  occupied  himself  with  the  preparations  for  my 
toilet  I  sat  broodingly  over  the  wood  embers,  thinking  of  my  fate. 

A  knock  came  to  the  door.  It  was  the  tailor's  servant  with  my 
clothes.  He  laid  down  the  parcel  and  retired,  while  Antoine  pro- 
ceeded to  open  it,  and  exhibit  before  me  a  blue  uniform  with  em- 
broidered collar  and  cuffs — the  whole,  without  being  gaudy,  being 
sufficiently  handsome,  and  quite  as  showy  as  I  could  wish. 

The  poor  waiter  expressed  his  unqualified  approval  of  the  costume, 
and  talked  away  about  the  approaching  ball  as  something  pre-emi- 
nently magnificent. 

"  You  had  better  look  after  the  fiacre,  Antoine,"  said  I;  "  it  is  past 
nine." 

He  walked  toward  the  door,  opened  it,  and  then,  turning  round, 
said,  in  a  kind  of  low,  confidential  whisper,  pointing  with  the 
thumb  of  his  left  hand  toward  the  wall  of  the  room  as  he  spoke. 

"  He  won't  go;  very  strange  that." 

"  Who  do  you  mean?"  said  I,  quite  unconscious  of  the  allusion. 

"  The  Charge  d'Aff " 

I  made  one  spring  at  him,  but  he  slammed  the  door  to,  and  before 
1  could  reach  the  lobby  I  heard  him  rolling  from  top  to  bottom  of  the 
oak  staircase,  making  noise  enough  in  his  fall,  to  account  for  the 
fracture  of  every  bone  in  his  body. 


CHAPTER  LIV. 

THE  BALL. 

As  I  was  informed  that  the  king  would  himself  be  present  at  the 
ball,  I  knew  that  German  etiquette  required  that  the  company  should 
arrive  before  his  majesty ;  and  although  now  and  every  minute  I  ex- 
pected the  arrival  of  the  Callonbys,  1  dared  not  defer  my  departure 
any  longer. 

"  They  are  certain  to  be  at  the  ball,"  said  Waller,  and  that  sen. 
tence  never  left  my  mind. 

So  saying,  I  jumped  into  the  fiacre,  and  in  a  few  minutes  found 
myself  in  the  long  line  of  carriages  that  led  to  the  "  Hof  saal."  Any 
one  who  has  bedn  in  Munich  will  testify  with  me,  that  the  ball-room 
is  one  of  the  most  beautiful  in  Europe,  and  to  me,  who  for  some 
time  had  not  been  living  much  in  the  world,  its  splendor  was  posi 
tively  dazzling.  The  glare  of  the  chandeliers — the  clan»  of  the 
music — the  magnificence  of  the  dresses — the  beauty  of  the  Bavarian 
Avomen,  too,  all  surprised  and  amazed  me.  There  were  several  hun- 
dred people  present,  but  the  king  not  having  yet  arrived,  dancing 
had  not  commenced.  Feeling  as  I  then  did,  it  was  rather  a  relief  to 
me  than  otherwise,  that  I  knew  no  one.  There  was  quite  amusement 
enough  in  walking  through  the  saloons,  observing  the  strange  cos- 
tumes, and  remarking  the  various  groups  as  they  congregated  around 
the  trays  of  ices  and  the  champagne  glacee.  The  buzz  of  talking 
and  the  sounds  of  laughter  and  merriment  prevailed  over  even  the 
orchestra;  and,  as  the  gay  crowds  paraded  the  rooms,  all  seemed 


324  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

pleasure  and  excitement.  Suddenly  a  tremendous  noise  was  heard 
without— then  came  a  loud  roll  of  the  drums,  which  lasted  for  sev- 
eral seconds,  and  the  clank  of  musketry— then  a  cheer — it  is  the  king. 

The  king!  resounded  on  all  sides ;  and  in  another  moment  the  large 
folding-doors  at  the  end  of  the  saal  were  thrown  open,  and  the  mu- 
sic struck  up  the  national  anthem  of  Bavaria. 

His  majesty  entered,  accompanied  by  the  queen,  his  brother,  two 
or  three  archduchesses,  and  a  long  suite  of  officers. 

1  could  not  help  remarking  upon  the  singular  good  taste  with  which 
the  assembly— all  anxious  and  eager  to  catch  a  glimpse  of  his  majesty 
— behaved  on  this  occasion.  There  was  no  pressing  forward  to  the 
"  estrade  "  where  he  stood— no  vulgar  curiosity  evinced  by  any  one, 
but  the  group  continued,  as  before,  to  gather  and  scatter.  The  only 
difference  being,  that  the  velvet  chair  and  cushion,  which  had  at- 
tracted some  observers  before,  were  now,  that  they  were  tenanted  by 
royalty,  passed  with  a  deep  and  respectful  salutation.  How  proper 
this,  thought  I,  and  what  an  inducement  for  a  monarch  to  come 
among  his  people,  who  remember  to  receive  him  with  such  true  po- 
liteness. While  these  thoughts  were  passing  through  my  mind,  as  I 
was  leaning  against  a  pillar  that  supported  the  gallery  of  the  orches- 
tra, a  gentleman  whose  dress,  covered  with  gold  and  embroidery, 
bespoke  him  as  belonging  to  the  court,  eyed  me  aside  with  his 
lorgnette,  and  then  passed  rapidly  on.  A  quadrille  was  now  forming 
near  me,  and  I  was  watching,  with  some  interest,  the  proceeding, 
when  the  same  figure  that  I  remarked  before,  approached  me,  bowing 
deeply  at  every  step,  and  shaking  a  very  halo  of  powder  from  his  hair 
at  each  reverence. 

"  May  I  take  the  liberty  of  introducing  myself  to  you?"  said  he. 
' '  Le  Comte  Benningsen. ' '  Here  he  bowed  again,  and  I  returned  the 
obeisance  still  deeper.  "  Regretted  much  that  I  was  not  fortunate 
enough  to  make  your  acquaintance  this  evening,  when  I  called  upon 
you." 

"  Never  heard  of  that,"  said  I  to  myself. 

"  Your  excellency  arrived  this  evening?" 

"  Yes,"  said  1,  "  only  a  few  hours  since." 

"  How  fond  these  Germans  are  of  titles,"  thought  I.    Remember- 
ing that  in  Vienna  every  one  is  "  his  grace,"  I  thought  it  might  be 
Bavarian  politeness  to  call  every  one  "  his  excellency." 
"  You  have  not  been  presented,  I  believe?" 

"  No,"  said  1,  "  but  hope  to  make  an  early  opportunity  of  paying 
'  mes  hommages  '  to  his  majesty." 

"  I  have  just  received  his  orders  to  present  you  now,"  replied  he, 
with  another  bow. 

' '  The  devil  you  have, ' '  thought  I.  "  How  very  civil  that. ' '  And, 
although  I  had  heard  innumerable  anecdotes  of  the  free-and-easy 
habits  of  the  Bavarian  court,  this  certainly  surprised  me,  so  that  I 
actually,  to  prevent  a  blunder,  said,  "  Anil  to  understand  you,  Mon- 
sieur le  Compte,  that  his  majesty  was  graciously  pleased " 

"  If  you  will  follow  me,"  replied  the  courtier,  motioning  with  his 
chapeau;  and  in  another  moment  I  was  elbowing  my  way  through 
the  mob  of  marquises  and  duchesses,  on  my  way  to  the  raised  plat- 
form where  the  king  was  standing. 

"  Heaven  grant  I  have  not  misunderstood  all  he  has  been  saying," 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  325 

was  my  last  thought  as  the  crowd  of  courtiers  fell  back  on  either 
side,  and  I  found  myself  bowing  before  his  majesty.  How  the 
grand  mareschal  entitled  me  I  heard  not;  but  when  the  king  ad- 
dressed me  immediately  in  English,  saying: 

"  I  hope  your  excellency  has  had  a  good  journey?" 

I  felt,  "  Come,  there  is  no  mistake  here,  Harry;  and  it  is  only  an- 
other freak  of  fortune,  who  is  now  in  good  humor  with  you." 

The  king,  who  was  a  line,  tall,  well-built  man,  with  a  large,  bushy 
mustache,  possessed,  though  not  handsome,  a  most  pleasing  expres- 
sion ;  his  utterance  was  veiy  rapid,  and  his  English  none  of  the  best ; 
so  that  it  was  with  the  greatest  difficulty  I  contrived  to  follow  his 
questions,  which  came  thick  as  hail  upon  me.  After  some 
common-places  about  the  roads,  the  weather,  and  the  season,  his 
majesty  said : 

' '  My  Lord  Callonby  has  been  residing  some  time  here.  You  know 
him?"  And  then  not  waiting  for  a  reply,  added,  "  pleasant  person 
— well-informed— like  him  much,  and  his  daughters  too,  how  hand- 
some they  are. "  Here  I  blushed,  and  felt  most  awkwardly,  while 
the  king  continued : 

"  Hope  they  will  remain  some  time— quite  an  ornament  to  our 
court.  Monsieur  le  Compte,  his  excellency  will  dance."  I  here 
muttered  an  apology  about  my  sprained  ankle,  and  the  king  turned 
to  converse  with  some  of  the  ladies  of  the  court.  His  majesty's 
notice  brought  several  persons  now  around  me,  who  introduced  them- 
selves; and,  in  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  I  felt  myself  surrounded  by  ac- 
quintances  each  vicing  with  the  other  in  showing  me  attention. 

Worse  places  than  Munich,  Master  Harry,  thought  I,  as  I 
chaperoned  a  fat  duchess,  with  fourteen  quarterings,  toward  the 
refreshment-room,  and  had  just  accepted  invitations  enough  to  oc- 
cupy me  three  weeks  in  advance. 

"  I  have  been  looking  everywhere  for  your  excellency,"  said  the 
grand  mareschal,  bustling  his  way  to  me,  breathless  and  panting. 
"  His  majesty  desires  you  will  make  one  of  his  party  at  whist,  so  pray 
come  at  once." 

"  Figaro,  qua,  Figaro  la,"  muttered  I.  "  Never  was  man  in  such 
request.  God  grant  the  whole  royal  family  of  Bavaria  be  not  mad, 
for  this  1  ooks  very  like  it.  Lady  Jane  had  better  look  sharp,  for  I 
have  only  to  throw  my  eyes  on  an  archduchess,  to  be  king  of  the 
Tyrol  some  fine  morning." 

"You  play  whist,  of  course;  every  Englishman  does,"  said  the 
king;  "  you  shall  be  my  partner." 

Our  adversaries  were  the  Prince  Maximilian,  brother  to  his  majesty, 
and  the  Prussian  embassador.  As  I  sat  down  at  the  table,  I  could 
not  help  saying  in  my  heart,  "  Now  is  your  time,  Harry,  if  my  Lord 
Callonby  should  see  you,  your  fortune  is  made."  Waller  passed  at 
this  moment,  and  as  he  saluted  the  king,  I  saw  him  actually  start 
with  amazement  as  he  beheld  me — "  Better  fun  this  than  figuring  in 
the  yellow  plush,  Master  Jack,"  I  muttered  as  he  passed  on,  actually 
thunderstruck  with  amazement.  But  the  game  was  begun,  and  I 
was  obliged  to  be  attentive.  We  won  the  first  game,  and  the  king 
was  in  immense  good-humor  as  he  took  some  franc  pieces  from  the 
Prussian  minister,  who,  small  as  the  stake  was,  seemed  not  to  relish 
losing.  His  majesty  now  complimented  me  upon  my  play,  and  was 


326  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

about  to  add  something  when  he  perceived  some  one  in  the  crowd, 
and  sent  an  aid-de-camp  for  him. 

"Ah,  my  lord,  we  expected  you  earlier,"  and  then  said  some 
words  in  too  low  a  tone  for  me  to  hear,  motioning  toward  me  as  ne 
spoke.  If  Waller  was  surprised  at  seeing  me  where  I  was,  it  was 
nothing  to  the  effect  produced  upon  the  present  party,  whom  I  now 
recognized  as  Lord  Callonby.  Respect  for  the  presence  we  were  hi 
restrained  any  expression  on  either  side,  and  a  more  ludicrous  tab- 
leau than  we  presented  can  scarcely  be  conceived.  What  I  would 
have  given  that  the  whist  party  was  over,  I  need  not  say,  and  cer- 
tainly his  majesty's  eulogy  upon  my  play  came  too  soon,  for  I  was 
now  so  "  destrait  and  unhinged,"  my  eyes  wandering  from  the  table 
to  see  if  Lady  Jane  was  near,  that  I  lost  every  trick,  and  finished  by 
revoking.  The  king  rose  half  pettishly,  observing  that  "  Son  Ex- 
cellence a  apparement  perdu  la  tete,"  and  I  rushed  forward  to  shake 
hands  with  Lord  Callonby,  totally  forgetting  the  royal  censure  in  my 
delight  at  discovering  my  friend. 

"Lorrequer,  I  am  indeed  rejoiced  to  see  you,  and  when  did  you 
arrive?" 

"  This  evening." 

"  This  evening  1  and  how  the  deuce  have  you  contrived  already, 
eh?  Why,  you  seem  quite  chez  vous  here!" 

"You  shall  hear  all,"  said  I,  hastily;  "but  is  Lady  Callonby 
here?" 

"  No;  Kilkee  only  is  with  me;  there  he  is  figuranting  away  in  a 
galop.  The  ladies  were  too  tired  to  come,  paticularly  as  they  dine 
at  court  to-morrow,  the  fatigue  would  be  rather  much." 

"  I  have  his  Majesty's  orders  to  invite  your  Excellency  to  dinner 
to-morrow,"  said  the  grand  mareschal  coming  up  at  this  instant. 

I  bowed  my  acknowledgments,  and  turned  again  to  Lord  Callonby, 
whose  surprise  now  seemed  to  have  reached  its  climax. 

"  Why,  Lorrequer,  I  never  heard  of  this!  When  did  you  adopt 
this  new  career?"  Not  understanding  the  gist  of  the  question,  and 
conceiving  that  it  applied  to  my  success  at  court,  I  answered  at  ran- 
dom, something  about  "  falling  upon  my  legs,  good  luck,"  &c.,  and 
once  more  returned  to  the  charge,  inquiring  most  anxiously  for  Lady 
Callonby's  health. 

"  Ah!  she  is  tolerably  well.  Jane  is  the  only  invalid,  but  then  we 
hope  Italy  will  restore  her."  Just  at  this  instant,  Kilkee  caught  ray 
eye,  and  rushing  over  from  his  place  beside  his  partner,  shook  me  by 
both  hands,  saying: 

"  Delighted  to  see  you  here,  Lorrequer,  but  as  I  can't  stay  now, 
promise  to  sup  with  me  to-night  at  the  '  Cross.'  ' 

I  accepted,  of  course,  and  the  next  instant  he  was  whirling  along 
hi  his  waltz,  with  one  of  the  most  lovely  German  girls  I  ever  saw. 
Lord  Callonby  saw  my  admiration  of  her,  and  as  it  were  replying  to 
my  gaze,  remarked : 

"Yes,  very  handsome,  indeed,  but  really  Kilkee  is  going  too  far 
with  it.  I  rely  upon  you  very  much  to  reason  him  out  of  his  folly, 
and  we  have  all  agreed  that  you  have  the  most  influence  over  him, 
and  are  most  likely  to  be  listened  to  patiently." 

Here  was  a  new  character  assigned  me,  the  confidential  friend  and 
adviser  of  the  family,  trusted  with  a  most  delicate  and  important 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  327 

secret,  likely  to  bring  me  into  most  intimate  terms  of  intercourse 
with  them  all,  for  the  "we"  of  Lord  Callonby  bespoke  a  family 
consultation,  in  which  I  was  deputed  as  the  negotiator.  I  at  once 
promised  my  assistance,  saying  at  the  same  time,  that  if  Kilkee  really 
was  strongly  attached,  and  had  also  reason  to  suppose  that  the  lady 
liked  him,  it  was  not  exactly  fair ;  that,  in  short,  if  the  matter  had 
gone  beyond  flirtation,  any  interference  of  mine  would  be  imprudent, 
rf  not  impertinent.  Lord  Callonby  smiled  slightly  as  he  replied : 

"  Quite  right,  Lorrequer,  I  am  just  as  much  against  constraint  as 
yourself,  if  only  no  great  barriers  exist;  but  here,  with  a  difference 
of  religion,  country,  language,  habits,  in  fact,  everything  that  can 
create  disparity,  the  thing  is  not  to  be  thought  of." 

I  suspected  that  his  lordship  read  in  my  partial  defense  of  Kilkee 
a  slight  attempt  to  prop  up  my  own  case,  and  felt  confused  and  em- 
barrassed beyond  measure  at  the  detection. 

"  Well,  we  shall  have  time  enough  for  all  this.  Now,  let  us  hear 
something  of  my  old  friend  Sir  Guy.  How  is  he  looking?" 

"  I  am  unfortunately  unable  to  give  you  any  account  of  him.  I 
left  Paris  the  very  day  before  he  was  expected  to  arrive  there." 

"  Oh,  then,  I  have  all  the  news  myself  in  that  case,  for  in  his  let- 
ter, which  I  received  yesterday,  he  mentions  that  we  are  not  to  ex- 
pect him  before  Tuesday." 

"  Expect  him!    Is  he  coming  here,  then?" 

"Yes.  Why,  I  thought  you  were  aware  of  that;  he  has  been 
long  promising  to  pay  us  a  visit,  and  at  last,  by  great  persuasion,  we 
have  succeeded  in  getting  him  across  the  sea,  and,  indeed,  were  it 
not  that  he  was  coming,  we  should  have  been  in  Florence  before 
this." 

A  gleam  of  hope  shot  through  my  heart  as  I  said  to  myself,  what 
can  this  visit  mean?  and  the  moment  after  1  felt  sick,  almost  to 
fainting,  as  I  asked  if  "  my  cousin  Guy  were  also  expected." 

"  Oh,  yes.  We  shall  want  him,  I  should  think,"  said  Lord  Cal- 
lonby, with  a  very  peculiar  smile. 

I  thought  I  should  have  fallen  at  these  few  words.  Come,  Harry, 
thought  I,  it  is  better  to  learn  your  fate  at  once.  Now  or  never; 
death  itself  were  preferable  to  this  continued  suspense.  If  the  blow 
is  to  fall,  it  can  scarcely  sink  me  lower  than  I  now  feel:  so  reason- 
ing, I  laid  my  hand  upon  Lord  Callonby  *s  arm,  and  with  a  face  as 
pale  as  death,  and  a  voice  all  inarticulate,  said: 

"  My  lord,  you  will  pardon,  I  am  sure " 

"My  dear  Lorrequer,"  said  his  lordship,  interrupting  me,  "for 
heaven's  sake,  sit  down.  How  ill  you  are  looking,  we  must  nuise 
you,  my  poor  fellow." 

I  sank  upon  a  bench — the  light  danced  before  my  eyes — the  clang 
of  the  music  sounded  like  the  roar  of  a  waterfall,  and  I  felt  a  cold 
perspiration  burst  over,  my  face  and  forehead ;  at  the  same  instant,  I 
recognized  Kilkee's  voice,  and  without  well  knowing  why,  or  how, 
discovered  myself  in  the  open  air. 

"  Come,  you  are  better  now,"  said  Kilkee,  "and  will  be  quite 
well,  when  you  get  some  supper,  and  a  little  of  the  Tokay  his  Maj- 
esty has  been  good  enough  to  send  us." 

"  His  Majesty  desires  to  know  if  his  excellency  is  better,"  said  an 
aid-de-camp. 


328  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

I  muttered  my  most  grateful  acknowledgments. 
"  One  of  the  court  carriages  is  in  waiting  for  your  excellency," 
said  a  venerable  old  gentleman  in  a  tie  wig,  whom  I  recognized  as  the 
Minister  for  Foreign  Affairs— as  he  added  in  a  lower  tone  to  Lord 
Callonby,  "  I  fear  he  has  been  greatly  overworked  lately — his  exer- 
tions on  the  subject  of  the  Greek  loan  are  well-known  to  his  Maj- 
esty." 

"  Indeed,"  said  Lord  Callonby,  with  a  start  of  surprise,  "  I  never 
heard  of  that  before." 

If  it  had  not  been  for  that  start  of  amzement,  I  should  have  died 
of  terror.  It  was  the  only  thing  that  showed  me  I  was  not  out  of 
my  senses,  which  I  now  concluded  the  old  gentleman  must  be,  for  I 
never  had  heard  of  the  Greek  loan  in  my  life  before. 

"  Farewell,  mon  cher  Colleague,"  said  the  venerable  minister,  as 
I  got  into  the  carriage,  wondering,  as  well  I  might,  what  singular 
band  of  brotherhood  united  one  of  his  majesty's  — th  with  the  Minis- 
ter for  Foreign  Affairs  of  the  Court  of  Bavaria. 

When  I  arrived  at  the  White  Cross,  I  found  my  nerves,  usually 
proof  to  anything,  so  shaken  and  shattered,  that,  fearing,  with  the 
difficult  game  before  me,  any  mistake,  however  trivial,  inight  mar 
all  my  fortunes  forever,  I  said  a  good-night  to  my  friends,  and  went 
to  bed. 


CHAPTER  LV. 

A  DISCOVERY. 

"  A  NOTE  for  Monsieur,"  said  the  waiter,  awaking  me  at  the  same 
tune  from  the  soundest  sleep  and  most  delightful  dream.  The  billet 
was  thus : 

"  If  your  excellency  does  not  intend  to  slumber  during  the  next 
twenty-four  hours,  it  might  be  as  well  to  remember  that  we  are  wait- 
ing breakfast.  Ever  yours, 

"KlLKEE." 

"  It  is  true,  then, "  said  I — following  up  the  delusion  of  my  dreams : 
"  It  is  true,  I  am  really  domesticated  once  more  with  the  Callonbys. 
My  suit  is  prospering,  and  at  length  the  long-sought,  long-hoped 
for  moment  is  come " 

' '  Well,  Harry, ' '  said  Kilkee,  as  he  dashed  open  the  door.  ' '  Well, 
Harry,  how  are  you? — better  than  last  night,  I  hope?" 

"  Oh  yes,  considerably.  In  fact,  I  can't  think  what  could  have 
been  the  matter  with  me;  but  I  felt  confoundedly  uncomfortable." 

"  You  did!    Why,  man,  what  can  you  mean;  was  it  not  a  joke?" 

"  A  joke!"  said  I,  with  a  start. 

"  Yes,  to  be  sure.  I  thought  it  was  only  the  sequel  of  the  other 
humbug." 

"The  sequel  of  the  other  humbug!"  Gracious  mercy!  thought 
I,  getting  pale,  with  horror;  is  it  thus  he  ventures  to  designate  my 
attachment  to  his  sister? 

"  Come,  come,  it's  all  over  now.  What  the  devil  could  have  per- 
suaded you  to  push  the  thing  so  far?" 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  329 

"  Really,  I  am  so  completely  in  the  dark  as  to  your  meaning,  that 
I  only  get  deeper  in  mystery  by  my  chance  replies.  What  do  you 
mean?" 

"  What  do  I  mean!  Why,  the  affair  of  last  night,  of  course.  All 
Munich  is  full  of  it,  and  most  fortunately  for  you,  the  king  has 
taken  it  all  in  the  most  good-humored  way,  and  laughs  more  than 
any  one  else  about  it." 

Oh,  then,  thought  I,  I  must  have  done  or  said  something  last 
night,  during  my  illness,  that  1  can't  remember  now.  "  Come, 
Kilkee,  out  with  it.  What  happened  last  night,  that  has  served  to 
amuse  the  good  people  of  Munich?  for,  as  I  am  a  true  man,  I  forget 
all  you  are  alluding  to." 

"  And  don't  remember  the  Greek  Loan — eh?" 

"The  Greek  Loan!" 

','  And  your  Excellency's  marked  reception  by  his  Majesty?  By 
Jove,  though,  it  was  the  rarest  piece  of  impudence  I  ever  heard  of; 
hoaxing  a  crowned  head,  quizzing  one  of  the  Lord's  anointed,  is 
unpeu  trop  fort." 

"  If  you  really  do  not  wish  to  render  me  insane  at  once,  for  the 
love  of  mercy  say,  in  plain  terms,  what  all  this  means." 

"  Come,  come,  I  see  you  are  incorrigible;  but  as  breakfast  is  wait- 
ing all  this  time,  we  shall  have  your  explanations  below  stairs. ' ' 

Before  I  had  time  for  another  question,  Kilkee  passed  his  a?m 
within  mine,  and  led  me  along  the  corridor,  pouring  out,  the  entire 
time,  a  whole  rhapsody  about  the  practical  joke  of  my  late  illness, 
which  he  was  pleased  to  say  would  ring  from  one  end  of  Europe  to 
the  other. 

Lord  Callonby  was  alone  in  the  breakfast -room  when  we  entered, 
and  the  moment  he  perceived  me  called  out : 

"  Eh,  Lorrequer,  you  here  still?  Why,  man,  I  thought  you'd 
have  been  over  the  frontier  early  this  morning." 

"  Indeed,  my  lord,  I  am  not  exactly  aware  of  any  urgent  reason 
for  so  rapid  a  flight." 

"  You  are  not!  The  devil,  you  are  not.  Why,  you  must  surely 
have  known  his  Majesty  to  be  the  best-tempered  man  in  his  domin- 
ions, then,  or  you  would  never  have  played  off  such  a  ruse,  though, 
I  must  say,  there  never  was  anything  better  done.  Heldersteen,  the 
Minister  for  Foreign  Affairs,  is  nearly  deranged  this  morning  about 
it — it  seems  that  he  was  the  first  that  fell  into  the  trap ;  but  seriously 
speaking,  I  think  it  would  be  better  if  you  got  away  from  this ;  the 
king,  it  is  true,  has  behaved  with  the  best  possible  good  feeling; 
but " 

"  My  lord,  I  have  a  favor  to  ask,  perhaps,  indeed,  in  all  likelihood 
the  last  I  shall  ever  ask  of  your  lordship,  it  is  this— what  are  you 
alluding  to  all  this  while,  and  for  what  especial  reason  do  you  sug- 
gest my  immediate  departure  from  Munich?" 

"  Bless  my  heart  and  soul — you  surely  cannot  mean  to  carry  the 
thing  on  any  further— you  never  can  intend  to  assume  your  minis- 
terial functions  by  daylight?" 

"  My  what? — my  ministerial  functions!" 

' '  Oh,  no,  that  were  too  much — even  though  his  Majesty  did  say — 
that  you  were  the  most  agreeable  diplomate  he  Ixad  met  for  a  long 
time; " 


330  HABRT    LORREQUEB. 

"  I,  a  diplomate!" 

"You,  certainly.  Surely  you  cannot  be  acting  now;  why  gra- 
cious mercy,  Lorrequer !  can  it  be  possible  that  you  were  not  doing  it 
by  design?  do  you  really  not  know  in  what  character  you  appeared 
last  night?" 

"If  in  any  other  than  that  of  Harry  Lorrequer,  my  lord,  I  pledge 
my  honor,  I  am  ignorant." 

"  Nor  the  uniform  you  wore,  don't  you  know  what  it  meant?" 

"  The  tailor  sent  it  to  my  room." 

"Why,  man,  by  Jove,  this  will  kill  me,"  said  Lord  Callonby, 
bursting  into  a  lit  of  laughter,  in  which  Kilkee,  a  hitherto  silent 
spectator  of  our  colloquy,  joined  to  such  an  extent,  that  I  thought 
he  would  burst  a  blood-vessel.  "  Why,  man,  you  went  as  the 
Charge  d' Affaires!" 

"  I,  the  Charge  d' Affaires!" 

"  That  you  did,  and  a  most  successful  debut  you  made  of  it." 

While  shame  and  confusion  covered  me  from  head  to  foot  at  the 
absurd  and  ridiculous  blunder  I  had  been  guilty  of,  the  sense  of  the 
ridiculous  was  so  strong  in  me,  that  I  fell  upon  a  sofa  and  laughed 
on  with  the  others  for  full  ten  minutes. 

"  Your  Excellency  is,  I  am  rejoiced  to  find,  in  good  spirits,"  said 
Lady  Callonby,  entering  and  presenting  her  hand. 

"  He  is  so  glad  to  have  finished  the  Greek  Loan,"  said  Lady  Cath- 
erine, smiling,  with  a  half-malicious  twinkle  of  the  eye.  Just  at 
this  instant  another  door  opened,  and  Lady  Jane  appeared.  Luckily 
for  me,  the  increased  mirth  of  the  party,  as  Lord  Callonby  informed 
them  of  my  blunder,  prevented  their  paying  any  attention  to  me,  for 
as  I  half  sprung  forward  toward  her,  my  agitation  would  have  re- 
vealed to  any  observer  the  whole  slate  of  my  feelings.  I  took  her 
hand  which  she  extended  to  me,  without  speaking,  and  bowing 
deeply  over  it,  raised  my  head  and  looked  into  her  eyes,  as  if  to  read 
at  one  glance  my  fate,  and  when  I  let  fall  her  hand,  I  would  not 
have  exchanged  my  fortune  for  a  kingdom. 

"  You  have  heard,  Jane,  how  our  friend  opened  his  campaign  in 
Munich  last  night. " 

"  Oh,  I  hope,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  they  are  only  quizzing.  You  surely 
could  not " 

"  Could  not!  What  he  could  not— what  he  would  not  do,  is  be- 
yond my  calculation  to  make  out,"  said  Kilkee,  laughing;  "any- 
thing in  life,  from  breaking  an  axle-tree  to  hoaxing  a  king." 

I  turned,  as  may  be  imagined,  a  deaf  ear  to  his  allusion,  which 
really  frightened  me,  not  knowing  how  far  Kilkee's  information 
might  lead,  nor  how  he  might  feel  disposed  to  use  it.  Lady  Jane 
turned  a  half -reproachful  glance  at  me,  as  if  rebuking  my  folly;  but 
the  interest  she  thus  took  in  me  I  would  not  have  bartered  for  the 
smile  of  the  proudest  queen  of  Christendom. 
-  Breakfast  over,  Lord  Callonby  undertook  to  explain  to  the  court 
the  blunder  by  which  I  had  unwittingly  been  betrayed  into  person- 
ating the  newly-arrived  minister,  and  as  the  mistake  was  mure  of 
their  causing  than  my  own,  my  excuses  were  accepted,  and  when 
his  lordship  returned  to  the  hotel,  he  brought  with  him  an  invita- 
tion for  me  to  dine  at  court  in  my  own  unaccredited  character.  By 
this  time  I  had  been  carrying  on  the  siege  as  briskly  as  circumstances 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  331 

permitted ;  Lady  Callonby  being  deeply  interested  in  her  newly-ar- 
rived purchases,  Lady  Catherine  being  good-natured  enough  to  pre- 
tend to  be  so  also,  left  me  at  intervals  many  opportunities  of  speak- 
ing to  Lady  Jane. 

As  I  feared  that  such  occasions  "would  not  often  present  them- 
selves, I  determined  on  making  the  best  use  of  my  time,  and  at  once 
led  the  conversation  toward  the  goal  I  aimed  at,  by  asking,  "  if  Lady 
Jane  had  completely  forgotten  the  wild  cliffs  and  rocky  coast  of 
Clare,  amid  the  tall  mountains  and  glaciered  peaks  of  the  Tyrol?" 

"  Far  from  it,"  she  replied.  "  I  have  a  most  clear  remembrance 
of  bold  Mogher  and  the  rolling  swell  of  the  blue  Atlantic,  and  long 
to  feel  its  spray  once  more  upon  my  cheek;  but  then,  I  knew  it  in 
childhood — your  acquaintance  with  it  was  of  a  later  date,  and  con- 
nected with  fewer  happy  associations." 

"Fewer  happy  associations — how  can  you  say  so?  Was  it  not 
there  the  brightest  hours  of  my  whole  life  were  passed,  was  it  not 
there  I  first  met " 

"  Kilkee  tells  me,"  said  Lady  Jane,  interrupting  me  shortly,  "  that 
Miss  Bingham  is  extremely  pretty." 

This  was  turning  my  flank  with  a  vengeance;  so  I  muttered  some- 
thing about  different  tastes,  &c.,  and  continued,  "  I  understand  my 
worthy  cousin  Guy  had  the  good  fortune  to  make  your  acquaintance 
in  Paris." 

It  was  now  her  turn  to  blush,  which  she  did  deeply,  and  said 
nothing. 

"  He  is  expected,  I  believe,  in  a  few  days  at  Munich,"  said  I,  fix- 
ing my  eyes  upon  her,  and  endeavoring  to  read  her  thoughts;  she 
blushed  more  deeply,  and  the  blood  at  my  own  heart  ran  cold,  as  I 
thought  over  all  I  had  heard,  and  I  muttered  to  myself,  "  She  loves 
iiim." 

' '  Mr.  Lorrequer,  the  carriage  is  waiting,  and  as  we  are  going  to 
the  Gallery  this  morning,  and  have  much  to  see,  pray  let  us  have 
your  escort." 

"  Oh,  I  am  sure,"  said  Catherine,  "  his  assistance  will  be  consider- 
able—particularly  if  his  knowledge  of  art  only  equals  his  tact  in 
botany.  Don't  you  think  so,  Jane?"  But  Jane  was  gone. 

They  left  the  room  to  dress,  and  I  was  alone — alone  with  my  anx- 
ious, now  half  despairing  thoughts,  crowding  and  rushing  upon  my 
beating  brain.  She  loves  him,  and  I  have  only  CDme  to  witness  her 
becoming  the  wife  of  another.  I  see  it  all,  too  plainly— my  uncle's 
arrival — Lord  Callonby's  familiar  manner — Jane's  own  confession. 
All — all  convince  me  that  my  fate  is  decided.  Now  then,  for  one  last 
brief  explanation,  and  I  leave  Munich,  never  to  see  her  more.  Just 
as  I  had  so  spoken,  she  entered.  Her  gloves  had  been  forgotten  in 
the  room,  and  she  came  in  not  knowing  that  I  was  there.  What 
would  I  not  have  given  at  that  moment  for  the  ready-witted  assur 
ance,  the  easy  self-possession,  with  which  I  should  have  made  my 
advances  had  my  heart  not  been  as  deeply  engaged  as  I  now  felt  it. 
Alas !  my  courage  was  gone ;  there  was  too  much  at  stake,  and  I  pre- 
ferred now  that  the  time  was  come  any  suspense,  any  vacillation,  to 
the  dreadful  certainty  of  refusal. 

These  were  my  first  thoughts,  as  she  entered ;  how  they  were  fol- 
lowed, I  cannot  say.  The  same  evident  confusion  of  my  brain. 


333  HARRY     LOllHEQfER. 

which  I  once  felt  when  mounting  the  breach  in  a  storm-party,  now 
completely  beset  me;  and  as  then,  when  death  and  destruction  raged 
on  every  side,  1  held  on  my  way  regardless  of  every  obstacle,  and 
forgetting  all  save  the  goal  before  me;  so  did  I  now.  in  the  intensity 
of  my  excitement,  disregard  everything,  save  the  story  of  my  love, 
which  I  poured  forth  with  that  fervor  which  truth  only  can  give. 
Bui  she  spoke  not — her  averted  head — her  cold  and  tremulous  hand 
and  half-drawn  sigh  were  all  that  replied  to  me,  as  I  waited  for  that 
one  word  upon  which  hung  all  my  fortune.  At  length  her  hand, 
which  1  scarcely  held  within  my  own,  was  gently  withdrawn.  She 
lifted  it  to  her  eyes,  but  still  was  silent. 

"  Enough,"  said  I,  "  I  seek  not  to  pain  you  more.  The  daring 
ambition  that  prompted  me  to  love  you  has  met  its  heaviest  retribu- 
tion. Farewell — you,  Lady  Jane,  have  nothing  to  reproach  yourself 
with — you  never  encouraged,  you  never  deceived  me.  I,  and  I  alone, 
have  been  to  blame,  and  mine  must  be  the  suffering.  Adieu,  then, 
once  more,  and  now  forever." 

She  turned  slowly  round,  and  as  the  handkerchief  fell  from  her 
hand — her  features  were  pale  as  marble — I  saw  that  she  was  en- 
deavoring to  speak,  but  could  not;  and  at  length,  as  the  color  came 
slowly  back  to  her  cheek,  her  lips,  moved,  and  just  as  I  leaned  for- 
ward, with  a  beating  heart,  to  hear,  her  sister  came  running  forward, 
and  suddenly  checked  herself  in  her  career,  as  she  said,  laughingly: 

"  Mille  pardons  Jane,  but  his  excellency  must  take  another  occasion 
to  explain  the  quadruple  alliance,  for  mamma  has  been  waiting  in  the 
carriage  these  ten  minutes." 

I  followed  them  to  the  door,  placed  them  in  the  carriage,  and  was 
turning  again  toward  the  house,  when  Lady  Callonby  said: 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Lorrequer!  we  count  upon  you — you  must  not  desert 
us." 

I  muttered  something  about  not  feeling  well. 

"  And  then,  perhaps,  the  Greek  loan  is  engaging  your  attention," 
said  Catherine;  "or,  mayhap,  some  reciprocity  treaty  is  not  pros- 
pering." 

The  malice  of  this  last  sally  told,  for  Jane  blushed  deeply,  and  I 
felt  overwhelmed  with  confusion. 


But  pray  come — the  drive  will  do  you  good." 
"  Your  ladyship  will,  I  am  certain,  excuse " 


Just  as  I  had  got  so  far,  I  caught  Lady  Jane's  eye  for  the  first 
time  since  we  had  left  the  drawing-room.  What  I  read  there  I  could 
not  for  the  life  of  me  say ;  but,  instead  of  finishing  my  sentence,  I  got 
into  the  carriage  and  drove  off,  very  much  to  the  surprise  of  Lady 
Callonby,  who,  never  having  studied  magnetism,  knew  very  little 
the  cause  of  my  sudden  recovery. 

The  thrill  of  hope  that  shot  through  my  heart  succeeding  so  rapidly 
the  dark  gloom  of  my  despairing  thoughts,  buoyed  me  up,  and  while 
I  whispered  to  myself,  "  all  may  not  yet  be  lost,"  I  summoned  my 
\»est  energies  to  my  aid.  Luckily  for  "me,  I  was  better  qualified  to 
tct  as  cicerone  in  a  gallery  than  as  a  guide  in  a  green-house;  and  with 
me  confidence  that  knowledge  of  a  subject  ever  inspires,  I  rattled 
away  about  art  and  artists,  greatly  to  the  edification  of  Lady  Callon- 
by— much  to  the  surprise  of  Lady  Catherine — and,  better  than  all, 


evidently  to  the  satisfaction  of  her,  to  win  whose  praise  I  would 
gladly  have  risked  my  life. 

"  There,"  said  I  as  I  placed  my  fair  friend  before  a  delicious  little 
madonna  of  Carlo  Dolci — "  there  is,  perhaps,  the  triumph  of  coloring 
— for  the  downy  softness  of  that  cheek— the  luscious  depth  of  that 
blue  eye — the  waving  richness  of  those  sunny  locks,  all  is  perfect — 
fortunately,  so  beautiful  a  head  is  not  a  monopoly,  for  he  painted 
many  copies  of  this  picture. 

"  Quite  true,"  said  a  voice  behind,  "  and  mine  at  Elton  is,  I  think, 
if  anything,  better  than  this." 

I  turned,  and  beheld  my  good  uncle,  Sir  Guy,  who  was  standing 
beside  Lady  Callonby.  While  I  welcomed  my  wqrthy  relative,  I 
could  not  help  casting  a  glance  around  to  see  if  Guy  were  also  there, 
and  not  perceiving  him,  my  heart  beat  freely  again. 

My  uncle,  it  appeared,  had  just  arrived,  and  lost  no  time  in  join- 
ing us  at  the  gallery.  His  manner  to  me  was  cordial  to  a  degree, 
and  I  perceived  that,  immediately  upon  being  introduced  to  Lady 
Jane,  he  took  considerable  pains  to  observe  her,  and  paid  her  the 
most  marked  attention. 

The  first  moment  I  could  steal  unnoticed,  I  took  the  opportunity 
of  asking  if  Guy  were  come.  That  one  fact  were  to  me  all,  and 
upon  the  answer  to  my  question,  I  hung  with  deep  anxiety. 

"  Guy  here! — no,  not  yet.  The  fact  is,  Harry,  my  boy,  Guy  has 
not  got  on  here  as  well  as  I  could  have  wished.  Everything  had 
been  arranged  among  us — Callonby  behaved  most  handsomely — and, 
as  far  as  regarded  myself,  I  threw  no  impediment  in  the  way.  But, 
still,  I  don't  know  how  it  was,  but  Guy  did  not  advance,  and  the 
matter  now " 

"  Pray,  how  does  it  stand?  Have  you  any  hopes  to  put  all  to  rights 
again?" 

"  Yes,  Harry,  I  think,  with  your  assistance,  much  may  be  done." 

"  Oh,  count  upon  me,  by  all  means,"  said  I,  with  a  sneering  bit- 
terness, that  my  uncle  could  not  have  escaped  remarking,  had  his 
attention  not  been  drawn  off  by  Lady  Callonby. 

What  have  I  done — what  sin  did  I  meditate  before  I  was  born, 
that  I  should  come  into  the  world  branded  with  failure  hi  all 
I  attempt?  Is  it  not  enough  that  my  cousin,  my  elder  by  some 
months,  should  be  rich,  while  I  am  poor — honored  and  titled,  while 
I  am  unknown  and  unnoticed? — but  is  he  also  to  be  preferred  to  me 
in  every  station  in  life?  Is  there  no  feeling  of  the  heart  so  sacred 
that  it  must  not  succumb  to  primogeniture? 

"  What  a  dear  old  man  Sir  Guy  is,"  said  Catherine,  interrupting 
my  sad  reflections,  "  and  how  gallant;  he  is  absolutely  flirting  with 
Lady  Jane." 

And  quite  true  it  was.  The  old  gentleman  was  paying  his  devoirs 
with  a  studied  anxiety  to  please,  that  went  to  my  very  heart  as  I  wit- 
nessed it.  The  remainder  of  that  day  to  me  was  a  painful  and  suffer- 
ing one.  My  intention  of  suddenly  leaving  Munich  had  been  aban- 
doned, why,  I  knew  not.  I  felt  that  I  was  hoping  against  hope, 
and  that  my  stay  was  only  to  confirm,  by  the  most  "  damning  proof," 
Low  sure  I  was  fated  to  disappointment.  My  reasonings  all  ended  in 
one  point.  If  she  really  loved  Guy,  then  my  present  attention  can 
only  be  a  source  of  unhappiness  to  her;  if  she  do  not,  is  there  any 


334  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

prospect  that  from  the  bare  fact  of  my  attachment,  so  proud  a  fam- 
ily as  the  Callonbys  will  suffer  their  daughter  to  make  a  mere  "  mar- 
iage  d'inclination?" 

There  was  but  one  answer  to  this  question,  and  I  had  at  last  the 
courage  to  make  it ;  and  yet  the  Callonbys  had  marked  me  out  for 
their  attentions,  and  had  gone  unusally  out  of  their  way  to  inflict  in- 
jury upon  me,  if  all  were  meant  to  end  io  nothing.  If  I  only  could 
bring  myself  to  think  that  this  was  a  systematic  game  adopted  by 
them,  to  lead  to  the  subsequent  arrangement  with  my  cousin! — if  I 

could  but  satisfy  my  doubts  on  this  head What  threats  of 

vengeance  I  muttered,  I  cannot  remember,  for  I  was  summoned  at 
that  critical  moment  to  attend  the  party  to  the  palace. 

The  state  of  excitement  I  was  in  was  an  ill  preparative  for  the  rigid 
etiquette  of  a  court  dinner.  All  passed  off,  however,  happily,  and 
the  king,  by  a  most  good-natured  allusion  to  the  blunder  of  the  night 
before,  set  me  perfectly  at  ease  on  that  head. 

I  was  placed  next  to  Lady  Jane  at  dinner;  and  half  from  wounded 
pride,  half  from  the  momentarily  increasing  conviction  that  all  was 
lost,  chattered  away  gayly,  without  any  evidence  of  a  stronger  feeling 
than  the  mere  vicinity  of  a  pretty  person  is  sure  to  inspire.  What 
success  this  game  was  attended  with  I  know  not;  but  the  suffering 
it  cost  me,  I  shall  never  cease  to  remember.  One  satisfaction  I  cer- 
tainly did  experience — she  was  manifestly  piqued,  and  several  times 
turned  toward  the  person  on  the  other  side  of  her,  to  avoid  the  tone 
of  indifference  in  which  I  discussed  matters  that  were  actually 
wringing  my  own  heart  at  the  moment  Yet  such  was  the  bitter- 
ness of  my  spirit,  that  I  set  down  this  conduct  on  her  part  as  coquetry ; 
and  quite  convinced  myself  that  any  slight  encouragement  she  might 
ever  have  given  my  attentions,  was  only  meant  to  indulge  a  spirit  of 
vanity,  by  adding  another  to  the  list  of  her  conquests. 

As  the  feeling  grew  upon  me,  I  suppose  my  manner  to  her  became 
more  palpably  cutting,  for  it  ended  at  last  in  our  discontinuing  to 
speak,  and  when  we  retired  from  the  palace,  I  accompanied  her  to 
the  carriage  in  silence,  and  wished  her  a  cold  and  distant  good  night, 
without  any  advance  to  touch  her  hand  at  parting — and  yet  that  part- 
ing I  had  destined  for  our  last. 

The  greater  part  of  that  night  I  spent  in  writing  letters.  One  was 
to  Jane  herself,  owning  my  affection,  confessing  that  even  the 
"  rudesse  "  of  my  late  conduct  was  the  fruit  of  it,  and  finally  assur- 
ing her  that,  failing  to  win  from  her  any  return  of  my  passion,  I  had 
resolved  never  to  meet  her  more.  I  also  wrote  a  short  note  to  my 
uncle,  thanking  him  for  all  he  had  formerly  done  in  my  behalf,  but 
coldly  declining  for  the  fulura  any  assistance  upon  his' part,  resolv- 
ing that  upon  my  own  efforts  alone  should  I  now  rest  my  fortunes. 
To  Lord  Callonby  I  wrote  at  greater  length,  recapitulating  the  history 
of  ou  early  intimacy,  and  accusing  him  of  encouraging  me  in  expecta- 
tions which,  as  he  never  intended  to  confirm  them,  were  fated  to  prove 
my  ruin.  More — much  more  I  said,  which  to  avow  I  should  gladly 
shrink  from,  were  it  not  that  I  had  pledged  myself  to  honesty  in 
these  "  Confessions,"  and  as  the3r  depict  Hie  bitterness  and  misery  of 
my  spirit,  I  must  plead  guilty  to  them  here.  In  a  word,  I  felt  my- 
eelf  injured.  I  saw  no  outlet  for  redicss,  and  the  only  consolation 
open  to  my  wounded  pride  and  crushed  affections  was  to  show  that 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  335 

if  I  felt  myself  a  victim,  at  least  I  was  not  a  dupe.  I  set  about  pack- 
ing up  for  the  journey,  whither,  I  kneAv  not.  My  leave  was  nearly 
expired,  yet  I  could  not  bear  the  thought  of  rejoining  the  regiment. 
My  only  desire  was  to  leave  Munich,  and  that  speedily.  When  all 
my  arrangements  were  completed,  I  went  down  noiselessly  to  the  inn 
yard  to  order  post-horses  by  day -break;  there,  to  my  surprise,  I  found 
all  activity  and  bustle.  Though  so  late  at  night,  a  courier  had  arrived 
from  England  for  Lord  Callonby  with  some  important  dispatches 
from  the  government ;  this  would,  at  any  other  time,  have  interested 
me  deeply,  now  I  heard  the  news  without  a  particle  of  feeling,  and  I 
made  all  the  necessary  dispositions  for  my  journey  without  paying 
the  slightest  attention  to  what  was  going  on  about  me.  I  had  just 
finished,  when  Lord  Callonby's  valet  came  to  say  that  his  lordship 
wished  to  see  me  immediately  in  his  dressing-room.  Though  I 
would  gladly  have  declined  any  further  interview,  I  saw  no  means 
of  escape,  and  followed  the  servant  to  his  lordship's  room. 

There  I  found  Lord  Callonby  in  his  dressing-gown  and  night-cap, 
surrounded  by  papers,  letters,  dispatch-boxes,  and  red  tape-tied 
parcels,  that  all  bespoke  business. 

"  Lorrequer,  sit  down,  my  boy,  I  have  much  to  say  to  you,  and, 
afl  we  have  no  time  to  lose,  you  must  forego  a  little  sleep.  Is  the 
door  closed?  I  have  just  received  most  important  news  from  Eng- 
land, and  to  begin " 

"  '  MY  LORD, — They  are  out  at  last — the  majority  on  Friday  in- 
creased to  forty  yesterday  evening,  when  they  resigned;  the  Duke 
has,  meanwhile,  assumed  the  reins  till  further  arrangements  can  be 
perfected,  and  dispatches  are  now  preparing  to  bring  all  our  friends 

about  us.     The  only  rumors  as  yet  are,  L ,  for  the  Colonies, 

H ,  to  the  Foreign  Office,  W ,  President  of  the  Council,  and 

we  anxiously  hope  yourself  Viceroy  to  Ireland.  In  any  case  lose  no 
time  in  coming  back  to  England.  The  struggle  will  be  a  sharp  one, 
as  the  outs  are  distracted,  and  we  shall  want  you  much.  Ever 
yours,  my  dear  lord,  HENRY . ' 

"  This  is  much  sooner  than  I  looked  for,  Lorrequer,  perhaps 
almost  than  I  wished;  but  as  it  has  taken  place,  we  must  not  decline 
the  battle;  now  what  I  wanted  with  you  is  this — if  I  go  to  Ireland, 
I  should  like  your  acceptance  of  the  Private  Secretary's  Office. 
Come,  come,  no  objections;  you  know  that  you  need  not  leave  the 
army,  you  can  become  unattached,  I'll  arrange  all  that;  apropos,  this 
concerns  you,  it  is  from  the  Horse  Guards,  you  need  not  read  it  now 
though,  it  is  merely  your  gazette  to  the  company;  your  promotion, 
however,  shall  not  stop  here;  however,  the  important  thing  I  want 
with  you  is  this,  I  wish  you  to  start  for  England  to-morrow;  circum- 
stances prevent  my  going  from  this  for  a  few  days.  You  can  see 

L and  W ,  &c.,  and  explain  all  I  have  to  say;  I  shall  write  a 

few  letters,  and  some  hints  for  your  own  guidance,  and  as  Kilkee 
never  would  have  head  for  these  matters,  I  look  to  your  friendship 
to  do  it  for  me. ' ' 

Looking  only  to  the  past,  as  the  proposal  suited  my  already  made 
resolve  to  quit  Munich,  I  acceded  at  once,  and  assured  Lord  Callon- 
by that  I  should  be  ready  in  an  hour 


336  HARRY    LORREQTTER. 

"  Quite  right,  Lorrequer,  but  still  I  shall  not  need  this,  you  cannot 
leave  before  eleven  or  twelve  o'clock;  in  fact,  I  have  another  service 
to  exact  at  your  hands  before  we  part  with  you;  meanwhile,  try  and 
get  some  sleep,  you  are  not  likdy  to  know  anything  of  a  bed  before 
you  reach  the  Clarendon."  So  saying,  he  hurried  me  from  the 
room,  and  as  he  closed  the  door  I  heard  him  muttering  his  satis- 
faction, that  already  so  far  all  had  been  well  arranged. 


CHAPTER  LVI. 

CONCLUSION. 

SLEEP  came  on  me  without  my  feeling  it,  and,  amid  all  the  dis- 
tracting cares  and  pressing  thoughts  that  embarrassed  me,  I  only 
awoke  when  the  roll  of  the  calSche  sounded  beneath  my  window 
and  warned  me  that  I  must  be  stirring  and  ready  for  the  road. 

Since  it  is  to  be  thus,  thought  I,  it  is  much  better  that  this  oppor- 
tunity should  occur  "of  my  getting  away  at  once,  and  thus  obviate  all 
the  unpleasantness  of  my  future  meeting  with  Lady  Jane;  and  the 
thousand  conjectures  that  my  departure,  so  sudden  and  unannounced, 
might  give  rise  to.  So  be  it,  and  I  have  now  only  one  hope  more — 
that  the  terms  we  last  parted  on  may  prevent  her  appearing  at  the 
breakfast  table;  with  these  words  I  entered  the  room,  where  the  Cal- 
lonbys  were  assembled,  all  save  Lady  Jane. 

"This  is  too  provoking,  really,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  Lady  Cal- 
lonby,  with  her  sweetest  smile,  and  most  civil  manner,  "  quite  too 
bad  to  lose  you,  now  that  you  have  just  joined  us." 

"  Come,  no  tampering  with  our  party,"  said  Lord  Callonby;  "  my 
friend  here  must  not  be  seduced  by  honeyed  words  and  soft  speeches 
from  the  high  road  that  leads  to  honors  and  distinctions — now  for 
your  instructions."  Here  his  lordship  entered  into  a  very  deep 
discussion  as  to  the  conditions  upon  which  his  support  might  be  ex- 
pected and  relied  upon,  which  Kilkee  from  time  to  time  interrupted 
by  certain  quizzing  allusions  to  the  low  price  he  put  upon  his  serv- 
ices, and  suggested  that  a  mission  for  myself  should  certainly  enter 
into  the  compact. 

At  length  breakfast  was  over,  and  Lord  Callonby  said,  "  Now 
make  your  adieux,  and  let  me  see  you  for  a  moment  in  Sir  Guy's 
room;  we  have  a  little  discussion  there,  in  which  your  assistance  is 
wanting."  I  accordingly  took  my  farewell  of  Lady  Callonby,  and 
approached  to  do  so  to  Lady  Jane;  but  much  to  my  surprise,  she 
made  me  a  very  distant  salute,  and  said,  in  her  coldest  tone,  "  I 
hope  you  may  have  a  pleasant  journey."  Before  I  had  recovered 
from  my  surprise  at  this  movement,  Kilkee  came  forward  and  offered 
to  accompany  me  a  few  miles  of  the  road.  I  accepted  readily  the 
kind  offer,  and  once  more  bowing  to  the  ladies,  withdrew.  And 
thus  it  is,  thought  I,  that  I  leave  all  my  long-dreamed-of  happiness, 
and  such  is  the  end  of  many  a  long  day's  ardent  expectation.  When 
I  entered  my  uncle's  room,  my  temper  was  certainly  not  in  the  mood 
most  fit  for  further  trials,  though  it  was  doomed  to  meet  them. 

"  Harry,  my  boy,  we  are  in  great  want  of  you  here,  and  as  time 
presses,  we  must  state  our  case  very  briefly.  You  are  aware,  Sir 


HARRY    LORREQUER.  337 

Guy  tells  me,  that  your  cousin  Guy  has  been  received  among  us  an 
the  suitor  of  my  eldest  daughter.  It  has  been  an  old  compact  be- 
tween us  to  unite  our  families  by  ties  still  stronger  than  our  very 
ancient  friendship,  and  this  match  has  been  accordingly  looked  to, 
by  us  both,  with  much  anxiety.  Now,  although  on  our  parts,  I  think 
no  obstacle  intervenes,  yet  I  am  sorry  to  say,  there  appear  difficulties 
in  other  quarters.  In  fact,  certain  stories  have  reached  Lady  Jane's 
ears  concerning  your  cousin,  which  have  greatly  prejudiced  her 
against  him,  and  we  have  reason  to  think  most  unfairly;  for  we  have 
succeeded  in  tracing  some  of  the  offenses  hi  question,  not  to  Guy, 
but  to  a  Mr.  Morewood,  who  it  seems  has  personated  your  cousin 
upon  more  than  one  occasion,  and  not  a  little  to  his  disadvantage. 
Now  we  wish  you  to  sift  these  matters  to  the  bottom,  by  your  going 
to  Paris  as  soon  as  you  can  venture  to  leave  London — find  out  this 
man,  and  if  possible,  make  all  straight;  if  money  is  wanting,  he 
must  of  course  have  it;  but  bear  one  thing  in  mind,  that  any  possible 
step  which  may  remove  this  unhappy  impression  from  my  daughter's 
mind,  will  be  of  infinite  service,  and.  never  forgotten  by  us.  Kilkee, 
too,  has  taken  some  dislike  to  Guy.  You  have  only,  however,  to 
talk  to  him  on  the  matter,  and  he  is  sure  to  pay  attention  to  you." 

"  And,  Harry,"  said  my  uncle,  "  tell  Guy  I  am  much  displeased 
that  he  is  not  here;  I  expected  him  to  leave  Paris  with  me,  but  some 
absurd  wager  at  the  Jockey  Club  detained  him." 

"  Another  thing,  Harry,  you  may  as  well  mention  to  your  cousin, 
that  Sir  Guy  has  complied  with  every  suggestion  that  he  formerly 
threw  out— he  will  understand  the  allusion." 

"  Oh,  yes,"  said  my  uncle,  "  tell  him  roundly  he  shall  have  Elton 
Hall;  I  have  fitted  up  Marsden  for  myself;  so  no  difficulty  lies  in 
that  quarter." 

"  You  may  add,  if  you  like,  that  my  present  position  with  the 
government  enables  me  to  offer  him  a  speedy  prospect  of  a  regiment, 
and  that  I  think  he  had  better  not  leave  the  army. " 

"  And  say  that  by  next  post  Hamercloth's  bond  for  the  six  thou- 
sand shall  be  paid  off,  and  let  him  send  me  a  note  of  any  other  large 
sum  he  owes." 

"  And  above  all  things  no  more  delays.  I  must  leave  this  for 
England  inevitably,  and  as  the  ladies  will  probably  prefer  wintering 
in  Italy " 

"  Oh,  certainly,"  said  my  uncle,  "  the  wedding  must  take  place." 

"  I  scarcely  can  ask  you  to  come  to  us  on  the  occasion,  though  I 
need  not  say  how  greatly  we  should  all  feel  gratified  if  you  could  do 
BO,  ' '  said  my  lord. 

While  this  cross  fire  went  on  from  both  sides,  I  looked  from  one 
to  the  other  of  the  speakers.  My  first  impression  being,  that,  having 
perceived  and  disliked  my  attention  to  Lady  Jane,  they  adopted  this 
"  mauvaise  plaisanterie  "  as  a  kind  of  smart  lesson  for  my  guidance. 
My  next  impression  was  that  they  were  really  in  earnest,  but  about 
the  very  stupidest  pair  of  old  gentlemen  that  ever  wore  hair  powder. 

"  And  this  is  all,"  said  I,  drawing  a  long  breath  and  inwardly 
uttering  a  short  prayer  for  patience. 

"  Why,  I  believe  I  have  mentioned  every  thing,"  said  Lord  Cal- 
Jonby,  '  except  that  if  anything  occurs  to  yourself  that  offers  a  pro* 


338  HAKRY    LORREQTJER. 

pect  of  forwarding  this  affair,  we  leave  you  a  carte  blanche  to  adopt 
it." 

"  Of  course,  then,"  said  I,  "  I  am  to  understand  that  as  no  other 
difficulties  lie  in  the  way  than  those  your  lordship  bas  mentioned, 
the  feelings  of  the  parties,  their  affections,  are  mutual." 

"  Oh,  of  course,  your  cousin,  I  suppose,  has  made  himself  agreea- 
ble; he  is  a  good-looking  fellow,  and,  in  fact,  I  am  not  aware  why 
they  should  not  like  each  other,  eh,  Sir  Guy?" 

To  be  sure,  and  the  Elton  estates  run  half  the  shire  with  your 
Gloucester  property;  never  was  there  a  more  suitable  match." 

"  Then  only  one  point  remains,  and  that  being  complied  with,  you 
may  reckon  upon  my  services;  nay,  more,  I  promise  you  success. 
Lady  Jane's  owu  consent  must  be  previously  assured  to  me;  without 
this,  I  most  positively  decline  moving  a  step  in  the  matter;  and  that 
once  obtained,  freely  and  without  constraint,  I  pledge  myself  to  do 
all  you  require." 

"  Quite  fair,  Harry;  I  perfectly  approve  of  your  scruples;"  so  say- 
ing, his  lordship  rose  and  left  the  room. 

"  Well,  Harry,  and  yourself,  what  is  to  be  done  for  you;  has  Cal- 
lonby offered  you  anything  yet?" 

"  Yes,  sir,  his  lordship  has  most  kindly  offered  me  the  under  secre- 
taryship in  Ireland,  but  I  have  resolved  on  declining  it,  though  I 
shall  not  at  present  say  so,  lest  he  should  feel  any  delicacy  in  em- 
ploying me  upon  the  present  occasion." 

Why,  is  the  boy  deranged — decline  it — what  have  you  got  in  the 
world,  that  you  should  refuse  such  an  appointment?"  ' 

The  color  mounted  to  my  cheeks,  my  temples  burned,  and  what  I 
should  have  replied  to  this  taunt,  I  know  not,  for  passion  had  com- 
pletely mastered  me.  When  Lord  Callonby  again  entered  the  room, 
his  usually  calm  and  pale  face  was  agitated  and  flushed;  and  his 
manner  tremulous  and  hurried;  for  an  instant  he  was  silent,  and 
then  turning  toward  my  uncle,  he  took  his  hand  affectionately,  and 
said: 

"  My  good  old  friend,  I  am  deeply,  deeply  grieved;  but  we  must 
abandon  this  scheme.  I  have  just  seen  my  daughter,  and  from  the 
few  words  which  we  have  had  together,  I  find  that  her  dislike  to  the 
match  is  invincible,  and,  in  fact,  she  has  obtained  my  promise  never 
again  to  allude  to  it.  If  I  were  willing  to  constrain  the  feelings  of 
my  child,  you  yourself  would  not  permit  it.  Bo  here  let  us  forget 
that  we  ever  hoped  for,  ever  calculated  on  a  plan  in  which  both  our 
hearts  were  so  deeply  interested." 

These  words,  few  as  they  were,  were  spoken  with  deep  feeling, 
and,  for  the  first  time,  I  looked  upon  the  speaker  with  sincere  regard. 
They  were  both  silent  for  some  minutes;  Sir  Guy,  who  was  himself 
much  agitated,  spoke  first: 

"  So  be  it  then,  Callonby,  and  thus  do  I  relinquish  one — perhaps 
the  only  cheering  prospect  my  advanced  age  held  out  to  me.  I  have 
long  wished  to  have  your  daughter  for  my  niece,  and  since  I  have 
known  her  the  wish  has  increased  tenfold. " 

"  It  was  the  chosen  dream  of  all  my  anticipations,"  said  Lord  Cal- 
lonby; "  and  now  Jane's  affections  only But  let  it  pass." 

"  And  is  there,  then,  really  no  remedy;  can  nothing  be  struck  out?" 

"Nothing." 


HARRY    LORREQUEE.  339 

"  I  am  not  quite  so  sure,  my  lord,"  said  I,  tremulously. 

"  No,  no,  Lorrequer,  you  are  a  ready-witted  fellow,  I  know,  but 
this  passes  even  your  ingenuity;  besides,  I  have  given  her  my  word." 

"Even  so." 

"  Why,  what  do  you  mean?  Speak  out,  man,"  said  Sir  Guy. 
"  I'll  give  you  ten  thousand  pounds  on  the  spot  if  you'll  suggest  a 
means  of  overcoming  this  difficulty." 

"  Perhaps  you  might  not  accede  afterward." 

"  I  pledge  myself  to  it." 

"  And  I  too,  said  Lord  Callonby,  "  if  no  unfair  stratagem  be  re- 
sorted to  toward  my  daughter.  If  she  only  give  her  free  and  willing 
consent,  I  agree." 

"  Then  you  must  bid  higher,  uncle;  ten  thousand  won't  do,  for 
the  bargain  is  well  worth  the  money." 

"  Name  your  price,  boy,  and  keep  your  word." 

"  Agreed,  then;  holding  my  uncle  to  his  promise,  I  pledge  myself 
that  his  nephew  shall  be  the  husband  of  Lady  Jane  Callonby;  and 
now,  my  Lord,  read  Harry,  vice  Guy,  in  the  contract,  and  I  am 
certain  my  uncle  is  too  faithful  to  his  plighted  word,  and  too  true  to 
Jiis  promise  not  to  say  it  shall  be." 

The  suddenness  of  this  rash  declaration  absolutely  stunned  them 
both,  and  then,  recovering  at  the  same  moment,  their  eyes  met. 

"  Fairly  caught,  Guy,"  said  Lord  Callonby,  "  a  bold,  stroke,  if  it 
only  succeeds." 

"  And  it  shall,  by  G — ,"  said  my  uncle.  "  Elton  is  yours,  Harry; 
and  with  seven  thousand  a  year,  and  my  rephew  to  boot,  Callonby 
won't  refuse  you." 

There  are  moments  in  life  in  which  conviction  will  follow  a  bold 
"  coup  de  main,"  that  never  would  have  ensued  from  the  slow  proc- 
ess of  reasoning.  Luckily  for  me,  this  was  one  of  those  happy 
intervals.  Lord  Callonby,  catching  my  uncle's  enthusiasm,  seized 
me  by  the  hand,  and  said: 

"  "With  her  consent,  Lorrequer,  you  may  count  upon  mine,  and, 
faith,  if  truth  must  be  told,  I  always  preferred  you  to  the  other." 

What  my  uncle  added,  I  waited  not  to  listen  to;  but  with  one 
bound  sprung  from  the  room — dashed  up  stairs  to  Lady  Callonby's 
drawing-room — looking  rapidly  round  to  see  if  sJie  were  there,  and 
then,  without  paying  the  slightest  attention  to  the  questions  of  Lady 
Callonby  and  her  youngest  daughter,  was  turning  to  leave  the  room, 
when  my  eyes  caught  the  flutter  of  a  Cashmere  shawl  in  the  garden 
beneath.  In  an  instant  the  window  was  torn  open— I  stood  upon  the 
sill,  and  though  the  fall  was  some  twenty  feet,  with  one  spring  I 
took  it,  and  before  the  ladies  had  recovered  from  their  first  surprise 
at  my  unacouutable  conduct,  put  the  finishing  stroke  to  their 
amazement,  by  throwing  my  arms  around  Lady  Jane,  and  clasping 
her  to  my  heart. 

I  cannot  remember  by  what  process  I  explained  the  change  that 
had  taken  place  in  my  fortunes.  I  had  some  very  vague  recollection 
of  vows  of  eternal  love  being  mingled  with  praises  of  my  worthy 
uncle,  and  the  state  of  my  affections  and  finances  were  jumbled  up 
together,  but  still  sufficiently  intel'i ••iblc  io  satisfy  my  beloved  Jane 
— that,  this  time,  at  least,  I  many  love  with  something  more  than 


840  HARRY    LORRKQUER. 

my  own  consent  to  support  me.  Before  we  had  walked  half  round 
the  garden,  she  had  promised  to  he  mine;  and  Harry  Lorrequer,  who 
rose  that  morning  with  nothing  but  despair  ana  darkness  before 
him,  was  now  the  happiest  of  men. 

Dear  reader,  I  have  little  more  to  confess.  Lord  Callonby's  poli- 
tics were  fortunately  deemed  of  more  moment  than  maidenly  scru- 
ples, and  the  treasury  benches  more  respected  than  the  trousseau. 
Our  wedding  was  therefore  settled  for  the  following  week.  Mean 
while  every  day  seemed  to  teem  with  its  own  meed  of  good  foitune. 
~M\  good  uncle,  under  whose  patronage,  forty  odd  years  before,  Col- 
onel Kamworth  had  obtained  his  commission,  undertook  to  effect  the 
reconciliation  between  him  and  the  Wallers,  who  now  only  waited 
for  our  wedding,  before  they  set  out  for  Hydrabad  Cottage,  that 
snug  receptacle  of  Curry  and  Madeira,  Jack  confessing  that  he  had 
rather  listen  to  the  siege  of  Java,  by  that  fireside,  than  hear  an  ac- 
count of  Waterloo  from  the  lips  of  the  great  duke  himself. 

I  wrote  to  Trevanion  to  invite  him  over  to  Munich  for  the  cere- 
mony, and  the  same  post  which  informed  me  that  he  was  en  route  to 
join  us,  brought  also  a  letter  from  my  eccentric  friend  O'Leary, 
whose  name  having  so  often  occurred  in  these  Confessions,  I  am 
tempted  to  read  it  aloud,  the  more  so  as  its  contents  are  no  secret, 
Kilkee  having  insisted  upon  reading  it  to  a  committee  of  the  whole 
family  assembled  after  dinner. 

"  DEAR  LORREQUER, — The  trial  Is  over,  and  I  am  acquitted,  but 
still  in  St.  Pelagic;  for,  as  the  government  were  determined  to  cut 
my  head  off  if  guilty,  so  the  mob  resolved  to  murder  me  if  innocent. 
A  pleasant  place  this ;  before  the  trial  I  was  the  most  popular  man 
in  Paris;  my  face  was  in  every  print  shop;  plaster  busts  of  me,  with 
a  great  organ  behind  the  ear,  in  all  the  thoroughfares;  my  autograph 
selling  at  six-and-twenty  sous,  and  a  lock  of  my  hair  at  five  francs. 
Now  that  it  is  proved  I  did  not  murder  the  '  minister  at  war '  (who  is 
in  excellent  health  and  spirits),  the  popular  feeling  against  me  is  very 
violent,  and  I  am  looked  upon  an  as  impostor  who  obtained  his 
notoriety  under  false  pretenses;  and  Vernet,  who  had  begun  my 
picture  for  a  Judas,  has  left  off  in  disgust.  Your  friend  Trevanion 
is  a  trump ;  he  procured  a  Tipperary  gentleman  to  run  away  with 
Mrs.  Ram,  and  they  were  married  at  Frankfort,  on  Tuesday  last. 
By-the-bye,  what  an  escape  you  had  of  Emily;  she  was  only  quizz- 
ing you  all  the  time.  She  is  engaged  to  be  married  to  Tom  O 'Fla- 
herty, who  is  here  now.  Emily's  imitation  of  you,  with  the  hat  on 
one  side  and  a  handkerchief  flourishing  away  in  one  hand,  is  capital ; 
but  when  she  kneels  down  and  says,  '  Dearest  Emily,'  &c.,  you'd 
swear  it  was  yourself."  [Here  the  laughter  of  the  auditory  prevented 
Kilkee's  proceeding,  who,  to  my  utter  confusion,  resumed  after  a 
little.]  "  Don't  be  losing  your  time  making  up  to  Lord  Callonby's 
daughter — (here  came  another  burst  of  laughter) — they  say  here  you 
have  not  a  chance,  and,  moreover,  she's  a  downright  flirt."  ["  It  is 
your  turn  now,  Jane,"  said  Kilkee,  scarcely  able  to  proceed.]  "  Be- 
sides that,  her  father's  a  pompous  old  Tory,  that  won't  give  a  six- 
pence with  her;  and  the  old  curmudgeon,  your  uncle,  has  as  much 
idea  of  providing  for  you  as  he  has  of  dying."  [This  last  sally  abso- 
lutely convulsed  all  parties.]  "  To  be  sure  Kilkee's  a  fool,  but  he's  no 


HARRY    LORREQUEE. 


341 


use  to  you."  ["  Begad,  I  thought  I  was  going  to  escape,"  said  the 
individual  alluded  to,  "  but  your  friend  O'Leary  cuts  on  every  side 
of  him."]  "  The  letter,  after  some  very  grave  reflections  upon  the 
hopelessness  of  my  pursuit,  concluded  with  a  kind  pledge  to  meet 
me  soon,  and  become  my  traveling  companion.  "Meanwhile," 
added  he,  "  I  must  cross  over  to  London  and  look  after  my  new 
work,  which  is  to  come  out  soon,  under  the  title  of  '  The  Loiterings 
of  Arthur  O'Leary.'"  . 

This  elegant  epistle  formed  the  subject  of  much  laughter  and  con- 
versation  amongst  us  long  after  it  was  concluded;  and  little  triumph 
could  be  claimed  by  any  party,  where  nearly  all  were  so  roughly 
handled.  So  passed  the  last  evening  I  spent  in  Munich — the  next 
morning  I  was  married. 


THB  KNtX 


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